Survivor 16: China Episode #9 Official Summary: "Someone get that girl a sandwich."

To catch up on last week’s episode please see
Michel’s summary here

The following memos are alleged to have been written between the filming of Episode #8 and Episode #9. I cannot confirm or deny the identity of the leak, but it does explain a few things about this episode.

To: EPMB
From: Medical Director Survivor China
Re: Contestant Courtney

From the Episode #8 stills that were sent to the staff to evaluate the health conditions of the contestants to satisfy the insurance company’s unreasonable demands that we not actually kill anyone we have noted that Courtney’s BMI appears to have fallen to a -2.3. We are reminding you that the BMI of 12.4 that she began this great adventure with was dangerous, but her current BMI is incompatible with life. We recommend adding as many opportunities for food during the filming of the next episode as possible to prevent us having to fill out the paperwork with the insurance her death would require.

________________________________________________________________

To: Medical Director Survivor China
From: EPMB
Re: Contestant Courtney

And your point is?
________________________________________________________________

To: EPMB
From: Uncle Cameraman
Re: Contestant Courtney

We have a problem. During the filming of Episode #8 we found several instances when Courtney turned sideways we were not able to capture her image on film. The editing staff is complaining to us about having to photoshop her into the frames where she disappeared. Her flickering in and out really messes up the continuity. Unfortunately we are unable to find a camera setting that allows us to film her continuously.

________________________________________________________________

To: All Survivor Staff
From: EPMB
Re: Contestant Courtney

I don’t care what it takes, get that girl a sandwich!
________________________________________________________________

Previously on Survivor:

Jeff has them drop their buffs and they merge. James has two immunity idols. Former Zhan Hu on the Chopping block. At the reward challenge the school yard pick left Denise sitting on the side of the playground eating worms. Surprisingly this left her feeling left out which she told the other survivors about back at camp. Denise contemplates being the first of the Fei Long to go and Courtney flirts with Frosti. Peih-Gee tries to take advantage of the situation. Courtney was the last one sitting at the immunity challenge. Jean-Robert is the last person on the planet to learn James has two immunity idols therefore he tries to get James blindsided at that night’s tribal council. For his efforts to try to get the not-so-hidden immunity idols out of the game, Jean-Robert is voted out.

Day 24 at Hae Da Fung.

{soapbox}Pinyin and Wade Giles spelling for “Black” is Hei, and wind is “Feng” I know the peeps in the show may have chosen the spelling, but. {/soapbox}

Anyway back to Day 24 at Hae Da Fung Hei Da Feng, the monkeys are sleeping and so are all the survivors except for James who is gutting a fish. James now realizes the idea of blindsiding him has occurred to people on his tribe and so he will bring the idols to council from now on. James, who based on this performance will likely be auditioning for American Idol any day now, sings a good morning song that would raise the dead and send them into a brain eating frenzy of epic proportion.

Courtney is so delusional as to think she has woken up on Christmas morning and Santa took Jean-Robert to the North Pole to use as Bear Bait.

{soapbox} Can’t anything be Christmas free until after Thanksgiving is celebrated in the United States {/soapbox}

Amanda and her butt blur actually notices that Denise exists and that she isn’t happy and worries about a potential switch from her. The idea that backstabbing by isolating an alliance member crawls into Amanda and her butt blur’s head. That poor lonely thing has been trying to find a home for years on this show. James reaches out to Denise to bring her back into the fold and she thinks sticking with James who has the immunity idols would be a good choice.

{Cue Merge Tribe/Jury Credits} Hey if the audience doesn’t remember any of the non-jury losers why should they bother reminding us that they even existed. And you know it isn’t like they tell us who is still in the tribe and who is on the jury every.single.episode or anything.

Day 25 at Hae Da Fung Hei Da Feng

The spirit of Jean-Robert infests Peih-Gee who micromanages James while cooking and sends Todd into yet another fit of annoyance. Also annoying Todd is Courtney flirting with Frosti and we watch as his morning dose of paranoia potion kicks in. See how it makes his eyes all funny.

Tree mail and drum.

An experience of a lifetime,
In a truly magical place,
A feast of sights to feed your soul,
And you’ll also feed your face.

Again you must dived to conquer,
You’d better be on the ball.
If you drum up some enthusiasm,
You might just win it all.

{soapbox}They still have their souls? Someone is slipping.{/soapbox}

{Klaxon sounds} We interrupt this summary to bring you a Foreshadowing Alert.

Peih-Gee off in confessional complains about being the “most losingest survivor left in this game”. This has lit a fire in her that she really wants to win something.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled summary.

Cut to the survivors entering the Reward Challenge Area. Today’s Challenge is to take a ball and bounce it on drums of four different sizes down the course and over obstacles. There are two spirit gates. If you drop the ball you must return to the beginning or the last gate you passed through. At the end of the course bounce the ball into the finish bin and return to the start. The first tribe to get three balls in the bin wins reward. They are playing for a cruise on the Li river including dinner and a night on the boat. Captains chosen at random and then they will do a School Yard Pick. Peih-Gee is the captain of the Red team, Eric is captain for the Yellow Team. They rock-paper-scissor for first pick and Peih-Gee wins and take James because you know large men like that are known for their balance and finesse and gosh darn it she is going to win something.

Teams are
Red: Peih-Gee~James ~Todd~Denise
Yellow: Eric~Frosti ~Amanda and her butt blur ~Courtney

Teams start out with Eric and Todd bouncing the balls. Eric passes the ball to Frosti over the first obstacle Todd tries to pass to James and who loses it, and this will be your theme for this challenge. Yellow team loses ball one after the first obstacle and goes back to spirit gate #1. Red team back at the start again and Peih-Gee with the drum with the smallest diameter will take over dribbling from James because you know using the tiny drum has to be the way to win. Yellow team gets their first ball into the bin at the end with Eric and Frosti doing all the ball bouncing a long the way. Amanda and her butt blur use the largest drum as a backstop so it is easy to get the ball into the bin.

As Eric and Frosti is moving the second ball down the course the red team has problems and can’t seem to get it together as Todd and Peih-Gee pass the ball back and forth a lot compared to Eric and Frosti only passing it only over obstacles. Courtney appears out of nowhere to help save the ball when Eric has problems and they get to the end where Amanda and her butt blur once again do the backstop thing. Red loses their first ball at the end and has to go back Yellow closing in with their third ball as Red has to head back after not getting it in again because they just bounce it back and forth across the top of the bin because that is a winning strategy every time. Yellow wins! Jeff’s got nothing for the Red team and sends them back to camp.

Day 26 at Hae Da Fung Hei Da Feng

Peih-Gee can’t believe James accused her of ever giving up at challenges, she was not just strolling back to the mat every time they dropped the ball and James has some nerve to accuse her of that. Hmmm after watching y’all blow a challenge right after the trade I have to agree, there is no reason what-so-ever for James to ever think you might not be giving it your all every.single.challenge. James says her blame game is why she always loses and he isn’t about to let her finish any sentence. Peih-Gee goes for a dip and confesses that maybe it isn’t the best thing to take her frustration out on everyone but she can’t manage to shut up and she channels Danielle about how it’s not fa-air that she is in this alo-one and then I had to go take a bath to stop twitching.

When I get back James and Denise are deconstructing the conversation with Peih-Gee and James confesses that he is not going to be taken in by the evil pretty boy and annoying girl temptations that make up the old Zhan Hu. James is concerned that Courtney and whats-his-name (Denise reminds him that the guys name is Frosti but I can’t fault him from trying to remove that nickname from his mind, Lord knows I’ve tried) romance will get in the way at tribal council. James gets all Biblical on us saying to just be naked and be happy and not eat that damn apple.

Todd reminds us that there are people enjoying themselves on a boat and we cut to the Li River to check in with the rest of the tribe.

They start off with some Mimosas and Eric is happy to finally get to have some reward time. Spend time with some of these people, and wonders what it is like back at camp. The conversation turns to Peih-Gee’s negative attitude and poor decisions and Eric’s just happy they are talking about her and not him like that. After a few scenic shots and some more drinks Frosti is drunk enough brave enough to lightly slide Courtney’s skin over her bones. Courtney thinks Frosti is young, but cute and wants to play. Frosti thinks Courtney is nice, pretty and smart, but…wait for it…way out of his league.

{soapbox}Who is in charge of putting people in leagues? They did a disservice to Frosti here and this should be rectified immediately {/soapbox}

More scenes of the Li River and they see two goats on the bank of the river. Eric takes this as a sign to pull out his goat imitation which seems to amuse them a heck of a lot more than it amused me, but then I haven’t been stuck with these people full time for twenty some-odd days. It is, however, the “greatest impression” that Amanda and her butt blur have ever heard.

Night falls and dinner comes and it is fried chicken, bread, butter and mashed potatoes. Frosti is concerned with how well Eric is getting along with Amanda, her butt blur, and Courtney.

{Klaxon sounds} We interrupt this summary to bring you a Foreshadowing Alert.

He worries they will keep Eric instead of him

We now return you to your regularly scheduled summary.

There were a few strange flashes of Courtney during the meal. I swear in a few frames on the DVR this was in her place.

Day 27 at Hae Da Fung Hei Da Feng

The Cruise winners return and tell the losers they had Chinese Food because they didn’t want to be hated for what they really had. They say the scenery is really pretty. Cut to a snake in the grass and we find Todd holding court with Amanda and her butt blur, Courtney, Eric and Frosti. Todd tells them how Peih-Gee started screaming at James (must be on the cutting room floor). They all agree she was channeling the spirit of Jean-Robert.

{Klaxon sounds} We interrupt this summary to bring you a Foreshadowing Alert.

Eric thinks he is getting in good with this group and should be OK as long as anyone other than Peih-Gee wins immunity.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled summary.

Change of scene and they are entering the Immunity Challenge area. Today’s challenge is a memory test challenge. They have a table with assorted coasters with Chinese Zodiac symbols on them. Jeff will call out a series of them and they will use a knife to stab the coasters in the correct order. Get it wrong once and you are out. If they feel so comfortable they don’t think they need immunity, they can sit out the challenge and eat. Jeff uncovers cheeseburgers, French fries, cold drinks, and all the fixin’s. James says that this is sooo wrong. Jeff hands them a black coin and a white coin. They can use that to indicate if they want to eat (black coin) or play (white coin).

Eating: Courtney~Todd~Denise~James
Playing: Peih-Gee~Frosti~Amanda and her butt blur~Eric

Once they start the challenge the eaters can start eating, they can eat until the challenge is over.

First Round: Tiger~Rabbit~Rat~Monkey~Dog.
Eric is out. Everyone else still in.

Second Round: Rat~Ram~Dragon~Rooster~Ram
Frosti is struggling to remember what came at the end.
Amanda and her butt blur is out. Peih-Gee and Frosti who is having a psychotic break get it correct.

Third Round: Snake~Rat~Rabbit~Tiger~Rooster~Ram
Peih-Gee now thinks she lost her mind with Frosti, but she has it right.
Frosti has it wrong and Peih-Gee wins Immunity. They can finish what food is in their mouths, but if it is in their hands they have to put it down.

Another one of the strange flashes when Courtney was on the screen. I swear in a few frames on the DVR this was in her place.

Frosti is upset that some people sat out and that he took the chance and it didn’t work. Eric seems to think he is on the chopping block and Frosti is higher up on the ladder. Frosti goes to Todd to campaign to get Eric out. Todd says if Eric makes it to the end, he would win, but Frosti is a big threat in the challenges. Todd discusses the situation with James and Denise and if Courtney won’t vote for Frosti then maybe they need to get rid of her.

Todd goes to talk to Courtney. He says James and Denise say they are afraid you won’t vote for him because he is her “Survivor Boyfriend”. She says it does matter strategically if she goes with the group or not.

Cut to Survivors coming into the council area with their torches, and we bring in the jury: Jaime and Jean-Robert. First question goes to James, when you saw those cheeseburgers what was your thought. He thought attack and he says he ate 7 of the 12 that were there. Second question for Todd was also about the food. Fat kid in Todd said eat, even though he tells himself he wouldn’t do that. Third question to Frosti about why he didn’t eat. He says there is always a chance you go home and he wants to know he doesn’t go home because he didn’t do everything he could.

Eric is asked about how comfortable the eating four must feel. Eric says he knows he is at the bottom and now he feels very far down at the bottom. Relationship question is next Amanda and her butt blur are asked if the friendships and the alliances are starting to
“butt heads”, he said it not me. She replies they don’t always follow the same path so it can be a hard thing to juggle. Denise is asked if you expect loyalty from your friendships out here. She says there is no real loyalty or trust and you hope that the friends and the bonds will last in the end. Frosti is asked why he is still here considering Fei Long chose him with the idea of voting him out. He hopes the relationships he formed with everyone will help him and it is a game and sometimes people get hurt.

Jeff asks Eric if it ever feels personal. He says that he wants to make friends, too, but how you get yourself in with the right people and he tries to be careful..

We get to the vote. Jeff says he won’t even ask if she is giving up immunity.
Todd up first not shown
Denise not shown
Frosti votes for Eric and says one of use is having cheeseburgers tonight and neither one deserves it.
James not shown.
Peih-Gee not shown.
Eric votes for Frosti saying it is one of the two of us, and nothing personal.
Courtney up not shown
Amanda and her butt blur not shown but says I think you are an amazing person.
Jeff goes to tally the votes.
Gives an opportunity for playing the hidden immunity idol.

He reads the votes (all emoticons on votes shown.
Frosti
Eric
Frosti
Frosti
Frosti
Frosti

That is 5 and that is enough. The tribe has spoken, and Frosti adds, “with cheeseburgers still on their breath.”

There are still 12 days left and the ability to adapt moment to moment is what is going to keep you in this game. We are going to test that right now. Tonight you will not be heading directly back to camp. We have more business to attend to, here.
{Cue closing credits}

Next time on Survivor.
Wounds shown on Eric and Peih-Gee.
James is fed up and breaking sticks “They are going to pull the rope with me or they are all gonna die”
Amanda Todd and James in the shelter. Todd takes a stand and says he will state his opinions.

Frosti expected some people to backstab but he didn’t expect it now. I got beat by by the tiny flight attendant, the sassy New York waitress, and the lady with the mullet. I wanted to prove someone younger and smaller can do the same job anyone else can.

Votes
Amanda~Frosti
Todd~Frosti
Courtney~Frosti
Denise~Frosti
James~Frosti
Peih-Gee~Frosti
Eric~Frosti
Frosti~Eric