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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
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As entertainment critic Roger
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"Be The Survivor: Episode #3: Sister Christian, Now The Time Has Come."
Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-05-07, 08:52 AM (EST)
 
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"Be The Survivor: Episode #3: Sister Christian, Now The Time Has Come." |
All right, it's official: you people are starting to bore me. The thirteen of you -- Was that a confessional? From -- Denise? We have a Denise? Where did she come from?-- okay, the fourteen of you just aren't very interesting. And you know what happens when things aren't interesting. We make people hurt each other. Which doesn't really make things more interesting for the wider audience, but it does tend to wake me up. The footage sure isn't doing it. Eight Dragons, and only one of them added a briefing book to his hoard? And it's James. Well, I guess it makes sense: prop the book on the edge of the grave, read as you go... And he got a plug in that we can force a charge for? Good James! Pile on that gold! Just don't pile it on top of the fishing equipment, or then you'll get even less use out of it than you're getting now. One crab? Most tribes we cast get a full case of the crabs by Day Nine. And judging from his nighttime activities, you could probably get them from Jean-Robert. So what are the Tigers doing? Oh. It's Dave again. And he's -- working on the Great God-Monument To Fire, which apparently won't be qualified to hold an actual flame until it's a replica of the Great Wall. Actual size. And naturally, no one can help Dave with his God-Monument because God can only love Dave. And it's not important to save energy for the challenges, now is it? After all, we could have a mental challenge at any time. Just not now. Reward time! Throw each other into the water to win the same stuff we always seem to offer around the this time! Three on three! Same gender on same gender! And Dave has just taken his clothes off for absolutely no apparent reason whatsoever! I didn't even know Rodger and Richard had a love child... (Please note that Dave does not have a giant log. Only I have a giant log. Dave does, however, have a giant ego and believe me, we're going to talk about that any Council now.) Maybe he's thinking no one will want to wrestle him with that much skin showing. Apparently he hasn't met James yet. And here come the women! And there go the ratings! Fight, women, fight! Say, Ashley, how do you like this entire season we designed just for you? And there's some more skin -- and blurring -- well, for you, it's blurring, for me, it's a contract bonus -- and Sherea is accomplishing something -- yes, I knew we had a Sherea, thank you for asking -- and the Tigers -- win? They won? Seriously? Their females were that much stronger? Wow. Well, um... I guess that means you -- get the Reward stuff. I think. I'm so confused... oh, and you get a tribe member from the Dragons for a day. How about grabbing James so some work can happen that isn't on the God-Monument? Leslie? Wait. You're serious? You're really taking Leslie? Why? Oh -- nice work! (And I don't exactly say that often, do I?) You picked up the vibes of 'incurable gossip who can't keep her mouth shut for more than two minutes and two seconds' on the wind, and all it takes is a little playing nice to get the social keys to the Dragons' camp. So no extra work, but lots of extra info. Leslie cannot shut up to save her life or recognize that they're playing Good Cop in front of her to keep the confession coming, but there is a one-in-a-million chance that she's actually making connections over there. (That's normally known as 'a miracle'.) Jamie, have some clues. Yes, you get two. No, you don't get a solution. Or a string of firecrackers to divert people out of camp. It's a group-effort idol: better learn to high-jump. Just don't let Courtney get the clues, or she'll just wait for the wind to waft her up. Immunity! Leslie, aren't you happy to be returning to the Dragons? Todd doesn't seem to think you're happy enough. But we'll put that on hold while I show off our glow lines again, which is much more important than explaining the challenge. In fact, I don't even understand this challenge. Just go out there, do some stuff, and I'll tell you who won. Courtney's off and swinging her arms! Too bad actually holding something at the end of them is draining all her strength, and yes, I mean her hands. Are we using slow-mo or is she actually moving with that much lack of speed? The Tigers are pulling ahead! Can they possibly lose this challenge? Are they about to not be Ulong? Can we postpone the execution of the casting department for three more days? Sure, why not: it's a cycle for the improbable. Tigers, you get to stabilize at six for a few days! Dragons, I'll see you tonight. Bring ropes. *drool* Rooooopses... So how's this tribe working things out? Besides 'right in front of each other?' (Apparently James was working off an audiobook.) Leslie wants to talk all about the wonderful time she had with the other tribe, and how they're all Good Cops who really feel for her, and you're all Bad Cops who just want to lock her away. And she doesn't see anything wrong with this. Todd wants to get rid of the strongest males. Before the individual stage, because hey, who needs majority? Not Todd! Todd just needs a working brain, because his is clearly on the fritz. Council! Go ahead and grab your life. Let's see if we can get through this in under four minutes. What's this tribe's weakness? The weaker women. Who's the weakest female? Courtney, who can barely stand up under the weight of her own sarcasm. And who do the women want to get rid of? Jean-Robert, because his crabs are nowhere near as lazy as he is. Also because he doesn't understand 'subtle'. Or 'poker-faced'. Or 'strategy concealment'. Or pretty much anything else. So what do you do for a living again? Really. You know how if you can't spot the pigeon at Council within twenty minutes, you're it? You don't. I'm not surprised. But we're doing this in less than four, so let's have the vote! And what is your price for flight? One Leslie, and don't bother saving the receipt. Because when you love the other tribe so much more than your own, you have exactly two possibilities in front of you: a switch or Shii Ann. And you're not Shii Ann. You're not Wahmber either, but God is still going to call you home. Dragons, get out of here. You need to think about how to use each person's unique strength. For Courtney, that'll be the pipe cleaner challenge. And with Jean-Robert? Have you considered putting his crabs to work? Hmmm. I'm thinking of a possibility for the next challenge... Mark, check the local Lack Of Human Rights book. We are allowed amputations this time around, right? 
Roleplaying game: speak as your character or create a new one related to the environment to use, and don't worry too much about what you say: gawd knows Leslie didn't. Many good (as in ludicrous) parts still available at http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID1/3680.shtml . Come in, sign up, and do to your characters what they're already doing to themselves.
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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-05-07, 12:00 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Be The Survivor: Episode #3: Sister Christian, Now The Time Has Come." |
*snores**attempts to cuddle Leslie, rejected* *attempts to cuddle Denise, rejected* *attempts to cuddle Amanda, rejected* *attempts to cuddle bag of bones Courtney, rejected* Dave, Dave, Dave...... I've seen LoudPhil in slightly more clothes than that, you think you're bad? He's worse! Courtney, why do I have a sudden urge to start calling you "Daniele"? Goodbye Sister Christian, I'd say that I'd miss you, but since it was probably either you, me, or Courtney, I'm glad it wasn't me........ 
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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-05-07, 12:06 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Be The Survivor: Episode #3: Sister Christian, Now The Time Has Come." |
CONFESSIONAL - Leslie: Q: How do you feel about being another reality TV Christian making other Christians look bad?
A: I want to love people. Q: But you loved the other tribe more than your own.
A: They had heart. I love them. Q: You didn't notice Courtney's dismal effort and failed performance at the challenge?
A: They have heart. That's why they won. Q: Will you take a drug test?
A: Now that I'm snuffed, will there be people to love? Q: Here, Leslie, sit in the water. Stay. Good Leslie. HANDYCAM OFF.  surfkitten siggie shop 2007
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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-05-07, 12:38 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Be The Survivor: Episode #3: Sister Christian, Now The Time Has Come." |
"It's Dave again. And he's -- working on the Great God-Monument To Fire, which apparently won't be qualified to hold an actual flame until it's a replica of the Great Wall."Now Estee, you know I'm the leader, and you know you want to follow too. Just like almost every one else you also wanted to follow me into the water (James wanted to too, I can tell). And everyone knows, leaders stand naked before their followers, just check out those Greek guys. Out of respect to my loyal followers, I've decided to build a Fire Monument to me, so my followers can discard their silly Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, or whatever beliefs, and worship me, their True Leader, (you may refer to me as god, if you wish. At the moment, that is voluntary). 
Uber-leader
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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-05-07, 02:38 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Be The Survivor: Episode #3: Sister Christian, Now The Time Has Come." |
On top of being a good leader/God, I am also a pretty nice guy. So if you guys want to play deity games, well go ahead. For now.
But you need to be careful, step lightly, because the voluntary part of my worship will probably end when I get the Mill.
You'll notice that I (not y'all) am naked on TV (thus am very God like), I get the most face time on air, (MB isn't even trying for air time. So, some god, huh?), and all the followers are following me, not thee (with time you will become accustomed to thee and thine, and thou, and all that worship talk). The IRS will also become a worshiper, and donate my withholding back to me. (Or there will be consequences for thine Revenuers). However, JP, since you do have a few followers too, you can become leader of one of my sects. As long as you realize that you forfeit Julie (to me) and that by being meek, you won't inherit anything.
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Spanky68 8092 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-08-07, 00:43 AM (EST)
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32. "Blah...blah...blah" |
blah...blather...blab...Kidnapped? Me? Oh goody.blah...blather...blab...all our secrets...blab...blab...blab...X marks the spot...blab...blab...blab Why is my head on this chopping block? The Christians on the other tribe don't do it this way. ...blab...blab...blab You're voting me out? Why? Is this God's will? ...blab...blab...blab 
Tribe was here
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