Previously on Survivor, the show started with four ethnic tribes. That didn’t last long and then they merged into two tribes. Yul found the hidden immunity idol. Candice and Jonathan mutinied and joined the other tribe. Eventually, the two tribes were merged into one tribe. Lots of people were voted out and Adam, Sundra, Becky, Ozzy, and Yul are the only remaining Survivors. Hey, I just summarized an entire season (or eight minutes of this episode) in one paragraph. Sweet. Cue the opening credits!

It is Day 37 at Aitutonga and we see Adam sitting alone in the hut looking like he’s not in this game long. Yep, it is like he’s back on Exile Island. Soon, the Aitu Four have to start thinking about how they will have to work against each other. Becky thinks that Ozzy is probably the biggest threat of the remaining four because he is such a challenge god. Ozzy also realizes that he needs to keep winning the challenges because he’s such a threat. With the speculation, we get the tree mail and the producers actually read the little poem out. The poem sucked though, so I wrote a new one in the form of Haiku. (See, I’m tying it back to the ethnic tribe thing.)

Ozzy obstacle
He will win no matter what
Don’t show up losers

The tribe, Adam especially, are psyching themselves up for the challenge. And then we see them entering the challenge. Jeff takes back the immunity necklace from Ozzy. The challenge is set up with various obstacles in several directions. Each castaway must navigate through each obstacle to pick up their puzzle pieces. Once they have the puzzle pieces, they can then work on the puzzle and the first person to finish wins.

The challenge starts and everybody seems pretty even. Ozzy is falling behind, but it looks like he is starting with the most difficult obstacle. Yul is in the lead but Ozzy starts making up lots of time. The order of people starting the puzzle is Ozzy, Yul, Adam, Becky, and Sundra. The drama and sweat of a puzzle ends with Ozzy winning (again).

So Adam knows that he is going home, but he wants to stir the pot before he goes. Everyone knows that Yul has the hidden immunity idol and Adam wanted to force Yul to use his immunity idol by getting everybody to vote for Yul. I like that “if I’m going down, I’m taking you with me” strategy that Adam is adopting. Adam tries to convince Sundra and Ozzy. Will the pot stirring work? It is time for tribal council to see.

The tribe sits down and the jury enters (with Nate on a set of crutches WTF?). So Jeff cuts to the chase and asks if Adam is done. Yep, he is done. Sundra and Becky admit that they are riding Yul and Ozzy’s coattails. The question remaining is if Yul’s idol is safe. Adam tries to plead the case for killing the idol. So now it is the vote.

Adam
Yul
Adam
Adam

Yo, yo, yo, it’s Adam in the shizzle for fizzle. (I’m not sure what I just said, but whatever. It’s my lame attempt to be all hip hop and cool and be like the black rappers. That’s two of the ethnicities that I’ve tried to address.)

So, congrats to the Aitu Four. They did their goal. Now the game turns to them turning on each other.

Final words – Adam felt that he played the best he could and the Aitu Four beat him fair and square.

Returning home, the Aitu Four cheer and hug that they made their goals. You have to give them props for beating the Raro Eight. Yul brings back the whole ethnicity thing by saying he’s proud that the winner is going to be a minority. Diverse backgrounds are helpful. That’s good. We’re a big old melting pot.

Ozzy woke up early and took the time to soak in the beautiful sunrise because he knows that there isn’t much time left in the game.

It is tree mail time again. They read the poem for this challenge, too. This time, I’ll rewrite it. Try to read it in a laid-back Bahamas way. (That’s the last ethnic group, because I’m already white.)

Hey, man. You want some cool fun.
You’ll get to burn the torches in the beautiful sun.
Then you’ll have the challenge over the ocean.
Stand still, you don’t want no motion.
No, no, no. It’s the last tribal.
Only one last council.

Yul was confused by the final immunity challenge. He has the feeling it will be a something interesting. Doesn’t this usually happen with the final three?

So after the meaningful (aka boring) revisting the torches and quotes from the former Survivors, we finally get to the final immunity challenge. Jeff told them that the final two will be a final three this time. Because this challenge is the last one, it has to be a balancing endurance type of thing. The castaways have to stand on little perches that they will be shrinking every fifteen minutes until the last piece of the perch is less than the size of a postcard.

The removal of the first piece of the perch was uneventful. Yawn. The second piece of the perch was also removed uneventfully. The third piece was slightly more exciting because Becky fell off when she removed her piece. The last piece is removed and everyone stays on but Ozzy looks like he’s going to fall off. Now we play the waiting game. Yul, who was in a squat for most of the challenge, tried to stand up and fell over while doing that. Ozzy and Sundra both had a few near misses (oh the drama). After two and a half hours, Sundra finally falls over and Ozzy wins again.

So because Ozzy has the final immunity and Yul has the hidden immunity idol, Sundra and Becky are the vulnerable ones. So now the big decision has to be made of who to vote off. Yul and Becky are super tight so he’ll be voting for Sundra. Ozzy is thinking that he should vote for Becky to force a tie-breaker because that sounds like the fairest, most equal thing to do. Yul is contemplating giving the immunity idol to Becky so Sundra goes home. Becky does think that that would look bad to the jury, though. That is true but who knows how a tie-breaker would go?

The last tribal council where voting out happens is about to start. Nate is still on his crutches. Jeff reminds people of the stats on who has immunity and who doesn’t. Ozzy tells Jeff that he is forcing the tie. So be it. We get the final vote.

Becky
Sundra
Becky
Sundra

Neither Becky nor Sundra have the hidden immunity idol. They are forced to the fire-making tie-breaker.

Twigs, coconut husks, and flint for both are provided to make the challenge fair. The challenge starts excitedly with the girls setting up their kindling and whacking the flints to make sparks. This is so dramatic. At the bottom of the screen, the Elapsed Time: 30 minutes caption appears. Ok, so this isn’t quite so dramatic, but they must’ve put this down because one of the girls finally gets their flame going, right? Nope. We’re treated to shots of the jury falling asleep. Even Jeff looks bored. Ozzy is cradling his head in his hands. The thoughts going through his mind must’ve been, “I should’ve voted Sundra out and we would’ve been home by now.”

One hour later, Jeff puts us out of our misery and said that it is time for matches. Great, that means this challenge should be done in no time! Wait a minute, Becky is having troubles lighting her match. Yep, I’m not much of an outdoorsy type of person, but I have been successful in starting a campfire with matches. I am so ready for the show! Oooh, both girls got some flames going . . . that went out quickly. The winner of this challenge is so playing for third place now. Any potential vote that either of these girls had is gone. After another half hour, there still isn’t a winner. That’s right folks, these girls had matches for half an hour and they still haven’t made a fire. What the next stage of the challenge, barbeque lighters? Or will Jeff just say, “You both suck and we aren’t bothering with this final twist. Bring on the final two!”

Well, Sundra used her last match and watches helplessly as Becky won third place. Sundra is gone and she’s proud of how she did in the game.

The final day is finally here! Ozzy, Yul, and Becky are proud of how they did. Becky is especially proud of how she turned down the temptation of the easy route of Yul’s immunity idol.

A couple of local tribeswomen deliver some food to Ozzy and Yul. Becky is nowhere to be found. Ozzy and Yul try to call for her but give up and start eating themselves. If this isn’t foreshadowing to who will be coming in first and second, I don’t know what is. After the final comments from each of the Final Three, it is time for the final tribal council.

Jeff describes the rules. There will be opening statements, jury questions and comments, and the vote. That’s cool.

Yul gets the first opening statement. Yul was playing as a team (the Aitu Four team) and he felt he’s had the most influence on the game because of the way that he played with the immunity idol. Even though he’s had to do some manipulating and lying, he stayed true to the people he aligned with to the end.

Becky knew that she wouldn’t be the strongest or the fastest person. (Or the best at making fires, ha!) She did try to be honest. (And the looks on the jury members’ faces was priceless with head shakes and eye rolls.)

Ozzy felt he was the underdog from the beginning because he was quickly outnumbered. He didn’t give up. He just kept going and took on the role of provider. He tried and he hopes that his actions speak louder than his actions.

Nate felt that Yul was like the Godfather and played the game smart. Ozzy was the opposite and was the warrior. Nate wanted to know how Ozzy played the game better strategically than Yul. Ozzy answered that he was the Yul of his original tribe and he was key in throwing the challenge that got rid of Billy. Becky was asked why she deserves the million dollars as the coattail rider. She tried to play the fact that she was always involved with the decisions with Yul. It didn’t seem too convincing. Nate wasn’t satisfied. Becky then mentioned that she rejected Yul’s idol so she could say that she got there herself.

Jenny directed her question to Yul. Which is more important? Physical or strategic element? He picked strategy.

Parvati wants Becky to convince her that she wants to win this game. Becky didn’t want to win the game feeling like she cheated by accepting Yul’s idol. She wants to feel proud of herself at the end. It doesn’t seem like this will do anything to convince the jury.

Rebecca felt that Yul was flawless strategically and Ozzy was flawless from a challenge point-of-view. Rebecca wants to know something else from each of them to help with the decision. Yul wanted to go on Survivor because he felt that he wanted to represent a minority group. Ozzy sort of repeats Yul’s answer of how he wants to be role model and this is what a Mexican can do. (If that Mexican/US border wall does get built, you know that Ozzy could scale it in three seconds.)

Adam found the Aitu Four were boring at tribal council and he wants Ozzy to talk trash about the other two. Ozzy felt that Yul didn’t work as hard as he could. Ozzy felt that Becky was riding coattails and the fire-making challenge was embarrassing.

Candice wanted to ask Yul a straight question with a straight yes/no answer, because Yul’s been known to beat around the bush. Anything other than yes or no or any additional information breaks Candice’s rules and she will vote for someone else. Has Yul been shamelessly working for jury votes? Yes. But he started to bring up the word shamelessly and Candice said that that was breaking her rules.

Brad had a 15 second conversation with Ozzy. What was the most challenging experience he had in his life? The relationship with his father was the most challenging thing. He always had to try to make the relationship and it is hard to not be loved.

Sundra wants to know what these people have discovered about themselves or life or stuff like that. Ozzy discovered pure love. Becky learned to slow down and not use a watch and be in the moment. Yul discovered self-confidence.

Jonathan felt Yul was polite or political and he wants the future electorate to not feel that Yul is a lying politician. Yul said Survivor is a game and he wouldn’t do this in real life. Ozzy is arrogant and entitled. He wants to know how $1,000,000 would make his life better and the world in general better. Ozzy wants to go to university and finish his education so he can change the world for the better.

It is time for the final vote. Jonathan’s vote was shown for Yul. Yul played everybody. Parvati’s vote was shown for Ozzy. She was captivated by how he was the ultimate competitor.

Jeff gathered up the votes to be announced at the reunion show.

To the cheers of a large crowd, Jeff enters CBS Television City, Hollywood, CA. Let’s read the votes.

Yul
Ozzy
Yul
Yul
Ozzy
Ozzy
Ozzy
Yul
And with one remaining vote (that if it read Becky, she’d be the wildcard forcing a tie)
Yul

Hugs, love, and family members fill the stage. Jeff invited us to stay for the show where he’ll be talking to everybody. (And boring the audience, probably.)

So now, everybody is on the stage in the order they were voted out. We see some people we didn’t even know was on the show. Who was Sekou? Oh well.

Jeff starts the reunion by acknowledging the final three (especially the final two). He said it was the first time ever that he felt badly for the runner up thinking that they should both win. I agree. They did America’s Choice for a second million dollars before. Why don’t they do it again? Without Ozzy, Yul wouldn’t have won. On the flip side, without Yul, Ozzy wouldn’t have made it to the final two.

So Jeff drills Yul about how he managed to dominate the game strategically. Yul admitted that there was some major luck in getting the hidden immunity idol at the right time. Jeff also asked about how Yul felt about the mutiny. Yul felt that he was screwed, not realizing at the time how dominating Ozzy was in the challenges.

So on the topic of the mutiny, Jeff asked Candice why she did that. She said that she felt she needed to make a big move and she and Jonathan talked about going back to Adam when the merge happened. I still think it was a pretty dumb move because it makes you look like nobody can trust you.

So why did the Aitu Four seem to work? Sundra said it was just the right combination of people. If there was somebody completely different, it probably wouldn’t have worked.

On the topic of getting Jonathan to flip flop again, Yul used statistics to plead his case, saying that if Jonathan doesn’t join them, he will be gone in the next round or two. This was mildly interesting, in a geeky kind of way.

So what about Becky? Yul said she was a major key in all of the major decisions that had to be made. Jeff realized this after watching the show. I think they jury did too.

So after a long clip of Ozzy being Tarzan, Jeff asked him where he came from. Ozzy loves books and one of his first and favourite books was Robinson Crusoe. It peaked his interest and imagination. To learn the swimming, Ozzy grew up with a swimming pool in his backyard. For the spear fishing, one of his buddies took him out and showed him how to use the spear. The best part of Survivor for Ozzy was everything. He loved being able to use his childhood hobbies of exploring and adventure in real life. He was happy to return to humanity’s roots.

Jeff now takes the show to the villain, Jonathan. Is Jonathan a villain? No! It’s a game and it’s not like you have a villain in Monopoly. (I dunno. That chance card can be pretty evil.) Jonathan did warn his family that he would be called some names, but he still seemed pretty ok with it. Oh, and Jonathan lost weight and has kept it off. That good old Survivor diet works charms, eh? (Well, except for with Katie.)

So with going to commercial, we have the guy in last, Sekou, sing us out. He’s wearing a pimped out yellow suit. I guess the song is ok. But considering the hype of hearing the song, the 20 seconds of the song hardly does it justice.

With just a little bit of time left in the episode, it is time to brush over the pre-jury cast-offs. Cao Boi. Remember him? He was that crazy old dude that looked like he could’ve been in a Cheech and Chong movie. So kids aren’t patient enough. Kids are too fast-paced nowadays and it makes them impatient.

Nate and Brad had their quips. It was pretty boring. They blathered on about representing and breaking stereotypes.

Strategy or romance? Are Adam and Candice Romber II? Can we expect another Survivor team on TAR to later appear on TAR All-Stars? Have Romber outlasted their 15 minutes? Candice said it was strategy. The status now is “friends.” Nate and Parvati were interesting. Nate had feelings for her. Parvati (a foxy boxer) really liked Nate and he always made her laugh.

To get everybody to speak at least once, JP, Christina, Cecilia, and Flica had their two seconds. Not much was said. Jeff mentioned to Billy that Candice is single. Billy said that he realized he stuck his foot is his mouth. Well, I don’t think that foot is wedged in there as much as it was earlier this season.

One final prize of a car is to be given to the most popular Survivor is the second last feature of this reunion. Just like for the million dollars, it was close (less than 1%) between Yul and Ozzy. This time Ozzy won the prize. Sweet! The car curse remains.

The last feature is a look at the next season of Survivor. One tribe is treated to luxury and the other tribe will be treated dismal conditions. There will be nineteen new Survivors and Exile Island will have two hidden immunity idols. (Are we jumping shark yet?) The name of the new season is Survivor Fiji.

Three is the perfect number.