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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Blonde joke"
Sagebrush Dan 10002 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-26-07, 01:48 PM (EST)
 
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"Blonde joke" |
This sounds familiar to me, but I thought I'd post it anyway.A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?" The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?" He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" His wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus"
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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-26-07, 02:25 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Blonde joke" |
Oh Boy, A Joke thread. A blond joke thread. So, in order to wedge this in legally, the people in the town in Arkansas are all blond.
The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did
some research and found they could buy a cow up in Antigo, Wisconsin, for
$200.00.
They bought the cow from Wisconsin and the cow was wonderful. It produced
lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows
like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again. They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the
bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise,
what to do. They told the Vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from
the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she
backs off. An approach from the side and she walks away to the other side." The Vet thinks about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow in
Wisconsin?" The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they
bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Wisconsin?" The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Wisconsin."
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whimsey 4411 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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06-26-07, 04:04 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Blonde joke" |
Dan - That is covered in wrong sauce...but funny.
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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-28-07, 11:44 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Blonde joke" |
7 DEGREES OF BLONDE
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't
know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact
on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in The mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!" THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes
out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out
the gun, and as she does so, sh e is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of State capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The Professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware "
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the fi rst to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman." 
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Shar's summer
