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Molaholic 9015 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 07-17-06, 04:49 PM (EST) "And now for something completely different..." OK, what with all the siggies (small pout) and quirks and other fluff floating about today, I've got something slightly deeper to toss out to the multitudes. A good friend of mine recently told me that he's been diagnosed with diabetes. He experienced one of those "warning signs" -- a mysterious, bloody blister -- and finally went to the doctor. Actually, he told me some time ago that he was "pre-diabetic" and was taking meds and "supposed to be" following a diet. They've since upped his meds, and he's scheduled for laser surgery for the excessive blood vessels in both eyes. His father had diabetes, and passed away last month from some of the many complications (including a having a leg amputated) associated -- after ignoring medical advice for several years. My friend is showing the same that-very-long-river attitude. He told me that he doesn't take his meds on days he plans to drink, and other such fallderall. He doesn't cook himself, he even asked me just how to cook a hard-boiled egg. I doubt he has even the most rudimentary cooking utensils in his apt. He said "well, I can use a microwave". So, how can I get him to see the light? "Either we are alone in the universe or we are not. The possibility of either situation is mind-boggling." Carl Sagan   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: And now for something completel... nailbone 07-17-06 1  RE: And now for something completel... weltek 07-17-06 2  RE: And now for something completel... qwertypie 07-17-06 3  RE: And now for something completel... Snidget 07-17-06 4  RE: And now for something completel... Bobdechemist 07-17-06 5    RE: And now for something completel... Molaholic 07-17-06 6        RE: And now for something completel... Bobdechemist 07-17-06 7            RE: Direct approach EMTBGRL 07-17-06 8  Thanks, everyone Molaholic 07-17-06 9    RE: Thanks, everyone cahaya 07-17-06 10

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nailbone 27263 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 07-17-06, 04:58 PM (EST) 1. "RE: And now for something completely different..." His father had diabetes, and passed away last month from some of the many complications (including a having a leg amputated) associated -- after ignoring medical advice for several years. If that doesn't do it, I don't see how you can say or do anything that will. Some people jut refuse to help themselves. MIL is like that. After all she (and we) went through this summer, she just will not change her lifestyle one iota to make things better. Holey carp! My blog! MySpace! Official OT Tassel Adjuster and OT Fantasy Football Champ! o-   Top

weltek 16936 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 07-17-06, 05:08 PM (EST) 2. "RE: And now for something completely different..." I don't think there's anything you can say or do to help him change his ways. What you CAN do is model good eating/drinking behavior around him. If you go out, try a restaurant where drinks aren't an option & the food is fairly healthy for diabetics. If he comes over to your place, only serve healthier food/drinks. That's my suggestion. Good luck.   Top

qwertypie 9776 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 07-17-06, 06:00 PM (EST) 3. "RE: And now for something completely different..." So, how can I get him to see the light? Sorry Mole, you just can't. If watching his dad suffer like this is not enough to make him see the light, than I doubt anything you can do would be enough. Hugs to you! It is tough watching a friend self-destruct. Of course, you can tell him he is being an f@#$%ing idiot since he has been given a second chance. Maybe ask him what kind of funeral services he wants. Yes It's Vintage Tribephyl!   Top

Snidget 44369 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 07-17-06, 06:10 PM (EST) 4. "RE: And now for something completely different..." Joining there is very little you can do or say. If the huge wake up call of watching family with it doesn't work there often is not much you can do. Although acting as if each time you see him might be the last and the whole lets do this thing before you die might be tempting. Unfortunately sometimes all the attempts to get them to take care of themselves seem to do is make them more committed to being self destructive.   Top

Bobdechemist 3932 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 07-17-06, 06:37 PM (EST) 5. "RE: And now for something completely different..." In general, there isn't much you can do for him if he has that weird death wish thing going. However, Mr Bob's uncle has diabetes and after 30 years he joined a diabetes group. They meet once a month, swap recipes, discuss treatments, compare medications etc.. Within a year he had switched medications and had his health in better control than ever. The knowledge base of the group was very useful. He knew what questions to ask his doctor and what symptoms he didn't need to put up with. So for your friend, maybe you could hunt up a support/learning group and give him the information and offer him a ride. He sounds like he might turn you down, but, as a friend, you can try to steer him in the right direction. Repeat once a year and let it drop the rest of the time.   Top

Molaholic 9015 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 07-17-06, 07:53 PM (EST) 6. "RE: And now for something completely different..." However, Mr Bob's uncle has diabetes and after 30 years he joined a diabetes group. They meet once a month, swap recipes, discuss treatments, compare medications etc.. I know the group I've been involved with for gastric bypass/weight loss has had a huge effect on my success, so I'll definately shove this down his throat suggest it.   Top

Bobdechemist 3932 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 07-17-06, 08:28 PM (EST) 7. "RE: And now for something completely different..." You know, in general, you can't really help people who are dead set on not helping themselves. (See the suicide thread for real examples on that) In your friends case, you may be able to help. It sounds like he is modeling his medical treatments and how he deals with the disease after his fathers behaviour : Denial. He sounds like a defeated kid (I know it won't work so why try?) We often model ourselves after our parents even when we know it didn't work. If he could meet some people who are coping successfully with their disease and living healthy, active lives, he may see another way to deal with things. Now, I still agree with everyone else that you can't "save" him, but you may be able to help. I keep thinking how much happier and in control my uncle-in-law was after he started taking an active role in managing his diabetes (and he'd had it his whole life). It's worth a shot. Arkie knows anything is possible   Top

EMTBGRL 2514 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson" 07-17-06, 09:56 PM (EST) 8. "RE: Direct approach" I agree that you can't "change" someone. IT won't work. However, whenever someone shares something personal with me (like their health issues) and we are friends? I flat out ask, "Are you sharing this with me just as a general topic of conversation, or because you want my help, as your friend, because you know I care about you?" Listen to the answer. If your friend says "I'm just making conversation" then, you will alienate this person by pushing the issue. Modeling good behavior is the only thing you can do. If they WANT your help, now they have an open door to ask for it. I had a friend go completely blind from Diabetes. He wishes he had managed his Diabetes to the point where he didn't go blind. However, he STILL drinks alcohol and doesn't take care of himself. He's not gonna change. Alienating him by pointing out what he already KNOWS he's doing wrong, by pointing this out? just gives him one less friend while he's here.   Top

Molaholic 9015 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 07-17-06, 10:29 PM (EST) 9. "Thanks, everyone" LAST EDITED ON 07-17-06 AT 10:32 PM (EST) You've given me a couple of ideas I'll try with my friend. Interesting that the phrase "model appropriate behavior" was used, since we're both teachers, we know about that technique of behavior modification. But, yes, the real decision is his. If I can convince him to join some kind of support group, I'll consider the effort a success. "Andre Dawson is listed as day-to-day. Come to think of it, aren't we all?" Vin Scully   Top

cahaya 19891 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 07-17-06, 10:37 PM (EST) 10. "RE: Thanks, everyone" Good man! Good advice posted earlier, too. Tribephyl's 'wayang kulit' puppet show. My DW recently got Type 2 diabetes, and she monitors it very closely, and changed her eating and exercise habits much for the better. She actually feels much better now that she has in a long time! My job? Encourage her!   Top

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