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Bobdechemist 3932 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 06-01-06, 05:47 PM (EST) "Snarky Comebacks" LAST EDITED ON 06-04-06 AT 10:44 AM (EST) Isn't preplanned snark wonderful? Ever since I got my PhD, I've wanted someone to say say something obnoxious to me that would give me a chance to use my title. I was at a conference and met someone I knew from undergrad who was (and I assume still is) a player*. The first thing he noticed was my wedding ring. We said hi, he grabbed my hand, held it up and said "Ah, so you are Mrs MrBob now?" I smile super sweet. "I prefer Dr deChemist" He left soon after. That was worth 4 1/2 years of a PhD and waiting 2 years for, right? Any other planned snark? Or do any of you quick witted ones have spur of the moment snark stories? edit to add: I'm not sure got across the slimeyness of this guy in my original description. He slept with a couple of my friends and wasn't very nice about. He also had a big mouth about his "conquests". It was no coincidence the first thing he noticed about me was the wedding ring. Other people have said exactly the same thing to me (Mrs MrBob) and it's just part of catching up. It's all in the tone. *I prefer the term "manwhore", but I'm snarky like that.   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Snarky Comebacks Snidget 06-01-06 1  RE: Snarky Comebacks Tahj 06-01-06 2  RE: Snarky Comebacks FishWoman 06-02-06 3  RE: Snarky Comebacks Lasann 06-02-06 4  RE: Snarky Comebacks azkate 06-02-06 5    RE: Snarky Comebacks EMTBGRL 06-02-06 6        RE: Snarky Comebacks cahaya 06-02-06 7  RE: Snarky Comebacks HistoryDetective 06-02-06 8    RE: Snarky Comebacks ivoryElephant 06-04-06 9  RE: Snarky Comebacks AZ_Leo 06-04-06 10  RE: Snarky Comebacks J Slice 06-05-06 11  RE: Snarky Comebacks susang 06-06-06 12

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Snidget 44369 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 06-01-06, 05:56 PM (EST) 1. "RE: Snarky Comebacks" If I am getting attitude from some customer service or sales person (a lot of them are wonderful but every once in awhile you wonder how someone so antisocial would ever land a job where dealing with people would be the vast majority of what they do all day) and we do the get my information thing and the do the Miss or Mrs thing I always summon the best snarky voice I can and say, "Doctor". Yep, sometimes it makes all the carp seem worthwhile. Although when anyone calls me Dr. Snidget I think they are referring to my father. Where he worked it was funny as one of the muckity mucks told all the administrative assistants that they had to call all the scientists Dr. Well all the Ph.D's that worked in that department wanted to be called by their first names and fussed at her about it, so it became Dr First Name for everybody.   Top

Tahj 4136 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 06-01-06, 06:04 PM (EST) 2. "RE: Snarky Comebacks" I've met many straight men who think gay men are just dying to have sex with them, I've delighted in telling them, "Don't worry hon, we have much better taste than that." Moves courtesy of Syren   Top

FishWoman 1510 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Peanut Festival Grand Marshall" 06-02-06, 12:30 PM (EST) 3. "RE: Snarky Comebacks" I generally never think of anything good to say until the moment has passed. However, one of my favorite spur-of-the-moment comments was, after my sister had seriously flubbed the break while shooting pool, telling her "you break like my Melmac plates." I am a juris doctor, but I probably shouldn't go around calling myself Doctor FishWoman ~a tribephyl original~ What can I say? I'm an educated singularity idiot.   Top

Lasann 3616 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 06-02-06, 12:33 PM (EST) 4. "RE: Snarky Comebacks" I'd reply but I haven't prepared anything. Heaven on Earth! That’s me lying on the beach *giggle*   Top

azkate 240 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 06-02-06, 12:45 PM (EST) 5. "RE: Snarky Comebacks" LAST EDITED ON 06-02-06 AT 12:49 PM (EST) Gushers!!! Hate em.... We were at a bank and the young woman gushed to my BF "Oh your son looks just like you (bats eyelashes)" To which I replied "Well that will certainly be news to his father...(deadpan)" Gah! A bad day of off-roading is better than no off-roading at all ETA: Another snark - hanging at a bar in the Keys and young guys look at BF and I and ask "Are you two married?" We both say "Yes....but not to each other!" (Long story short - ex left and then refused to get divorced Gah! Gah! Gah!   Top

EMTBGRL 2514 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson" 06-02-06, 02:40 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Snarky Comebacks" My older sister and I were in a bar soon after I turned 21 (I don't drink, but BOY HOWDY she does!) Anyway, a gold-chained, chest hair showing Disco Stu approached my sis, and actually tried, "Hey baby, what's your sign?" She swiveled around, looked him right in the eye and without hesitating said, "Usually it's Yield, but for you it's Stop!" This many years later--that STILL makes me laugh. (I think I spewed Sprite all over the bar that night. Classy, eh?)   Top

cahaya 19891 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 06-02-06, 02:57 PM (EST) 7. "RE: Snarky Comebacks" For overly persistent guys like that, who often like to run the stop signs, "Dead End" might work even better. An Arkie Asian creation, with Foo dog images by Bob. No U-turn, either.   Top

HistoryDetective 9516 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 06-02-06, 03:01 PM (EST) 8. "RE: Snarky Comebacks" I guess mine is a little similar, Bob. If I ever attend a class reunion and the fvcktard teacher coach who ran the student council insists that I have to call him Mr. Fvcktard rather Keith, I will insist that he address me as Dr. Detective in return. Sigs by Seana and Syren. Bouncie by IceCat. One and Only WeinerGuy.   Top

ivoryElephant 2257 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Seventeen Magazine Model" 06-04-06, 02:08 AM (EST) 9. "RE: Snarky Comebacks" One I have always wanted to use but haven't had the chance to is from a Tom Petty Song... "Think of me what you will I've got a little space to fill" mind the gap   Top

AZ_Leo 3526 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 06-04-06, 01:25 PM (EST) 10. "RE: Snarky Comebacks" Hopefully in two more years I too can enjoy using that particular comeback. I can think of numerous former coworkers I can't wait to run into then.   Top

J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 06-05-06, 07:26 PM (EST) 11. "RE: Snarky Comebacks" I did it. I got the last word in with my best friend's horrible, awful, absolutely disgustingly awful-souled girlfriend as I moved out. (side note: she decided to drive an enormous wedge between my friend and I- we're still trying to fix the mess she caused) The witch moved into my building roughly 3 days before my departure, about 3 rooms down from my own. Her apartment? is the one next to the trash-chute room. Which is labelled "Trash Room." My final walk down the hall, I ran into her, and she sort of did this snorty self-laugh (I was v. sweaty/tired from the whole moving thing). "Oh, before I forget..." She turned around to look at me. "You should really tell the apartment to fix your door." "What do you mean, 'fix my door?' What'd you do to it?" "Nothing at all!" "Then what do you mean?" "Oh, nothing really, but that sign's (I gestured towards the Trash Room) on the wrong door." I smiled, and walked off. My friend im'ed me later to tell me that while he didn't approve of my exit, the story did make him laugh his a$$ off uncontrollably- right after she cried to him... ZING!   Top

susang 435 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-06-06, 12:21 PM (EST) 12. "RE: Snarky Comebacks" When people remark that I look young for my age, I say, "I don't have a husband and kids to drive me crazy." It often helps to reply in a humorous way.   Top

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