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wallace 8 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 11:45 AM (EST) "Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" I decided to post after weeks of hoping the Starting Over house would return to it's original theme of have something inspirational to offer through the positive changes in women's lives...but this Season has offered more unecissary friction and drama than the necessary changes the women should be focusing on acheiving. From the first day, the other women outcast TJ because she was very straight forward/take charge, but now TJ is outcast because she is simply a target. Jill was right on when she said that "Christina drops bombs and runs." Christina is not the take charge type - she likes to cause tiffs then act like a victim, no accountability whatsoever - and that clashes with TJ's ability to cut to the chase. Christina can't stand that everyone in the house won't call her on her crap but that TJ will. This goes for Allison as well. Allison is about as good as it gets to dancing around accountability. Allison has not shown any mental or emotional growth the entire third season and it's troubling to me that everyone enables her to be pathetic rather than pushing her to a place where she can overcome her defeatest attitude with grace, rather than perpetuate it with disgrace...TJ has offered Allison opportunities to develop into a healthier woman, but Allison appears to enjoy taking the downward spiral every time, and bashing TJ for encouraging her to stop the act and get the hell off stage. Everyone has been gentle and forgiving with Allison and I think TJ's 'get to it' approach is just what Allison needs. Allison has experienced multiple trauma's throughout her life which disabled her from having self esteem and from fully experiencing life's ups...and although I feel for her in that regard, I think that those traumas were a reality check she completely forgot to take to heart. She is so busy being negative she doesn't allow herself the joy and the freedom of thinking realistically - like ok already, I know im scarred inside and out, but i have to stop saying why me and move forward as best I can without dragging me down or others with me. What I think is even more troubling is that Allison perfectly orchestrates her attitude - when to be pitiful and when to be high. For instance, her birthday - suddenly she has confidence she looks good, she feels good, she thinks that people will want to celebrate her....I mean how is it that someone so lacking in self-esteem one minute, shoot up to that level of confidence??? Allison would never admit it, but I see her air of superieority above the other women at times and that to me is a little off for someone who claims to be feel so meaningless all the time...I don't think fake is the right word, but minipulative. She is more in control than she admits. She knows who she can get attention from and who to keep on her side etc. She is clearly the ring leader of "the funk" and no one has called her out on it. There is a lot of negativity in the house that is detering the women from paying the necessary attention to making the necessary changes and encouraging those in others too. No need to keep typing since I'm sure others on the message board will cover the rest in their own entries. It is my hope that the house can turn around and become a commitment to themselves and the others again....but for now - as the drama stays thick as the "funk", I can only hope that it reminds us all that reflecting and making positive changes in our lives is far more valuable than getting ourselves and others in "A Funk".   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... NoahsMom 11-28-05 1  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... snowflake2 11-28-05 2    RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... snowflake2 11-28-05 4        RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... MariJ 11-28-05 9            RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... birdinarage 11-28-05 28    RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... rjcan 11-28-05 26  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... passion4 11-28-05 3    RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... dirtrider 11-28-05 5  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... DancingMoonChild 11-28-05 6    RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... CanaryCircle 11-28-05 7  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... Pinkster 11-28-05 8    RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... CanaryCircle 11-28-05 10        RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... snowflake2 11-28-05 12            RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... NoahsMom 11-28-05 18    RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... wallace 11-28-05 11    RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... jules1767 11-28-05 13    RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... sojunkie 11-28-05 16        RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... divawahine 11-29-05 32    RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... atzd 11-28-05 22  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... bentherdunthat 11-28-05 14  allisons self esteem? mimibunny 11-28-05 15    RE: allisons self esteem? Angelbaby3782 11-28-05 17        RE: allisons self esteem? monti 11-28-05 19        RE: allisons self esteem? SeasonedRefinement 11-28-05 20            RE: allisons self esteem? snowflake2 11-28-05 23            SeasonedRefinement , you are not al... Angela1928 11-28-05 27            RE: allisons self esteem? MariJ 11-28-05 30  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... shortnsweet 11-28-05 21    They are all annoying! yankee 11-28-05 24        I agree mimibunny 11-29-05 34  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... DJINJABEAN 11-28-05 25  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... FMkelly 11-28-05 29  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... maryellennaco 11-29-05 31    RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... JoeyGirl 11-29-05 33        RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... snowflake2 11-29-05 35  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... Catlynn1864 11-29-05 36    RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... JoeyGirl 11-29-05 37  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... Gerry 11-30-05 38  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... Gerry 11-30-05 39  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... maryellennaco 11-30-05 40    babies mimibunny 11-30-05 41  RE: Allison - ring leader of "the f... coneal 11-30-05 42

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NoahsMom 29 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 11-28-05, 11:48 AM (EST) 1. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" AMEN! Very well said Wallace!   Top

snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 12:32 PM (EST) 2. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" Great post, Wallace. I'm glad someone else sees contradictions in Allison's tale of abysmally low self esteem. Yes, if you think you are so insignificant, why the expectation that a whole house full of women will want to drop everything they are doing and devote the whole day to a celebration of your specialness?? And I also notice the air of superiority...in her condescending manner of speaking, in the facial expressions, in lots of subtle ways. And if Allison thinks she's so worthless, why does she think she's gonna rate a tall, muscular, RICH Boo-Boo???   Top

snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 12:52 PM (EST) 4. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" One more note...I think Allison IS the source of the negativity in the house because it is her presence that gives the other women license to be mean, gossipy & cruel. The other women know that as long as they are on Allison's "side" of any house division, they will most likely NOT be called on their behavior...they will be protected by Allison's status of cancer victim, or whatever it is that allows Allison to not be held accountable for her actions.   Top

MariJ 157 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 01:11 PM (EST) 9. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" I also don't see that Allison has a self-esteem problem. Actually; considering her age, she acts quite immature. Her behavior is that of a high school girl. She's hides behind with so many fascades. Also, if ANYTHING...I believe that trauma forces individuals to grow up and see priorities in life. I can't understand how Allison has learned so little in life. I really don't get why Iyanla is oblivious to all this, other than she is transferring her sympathy from her own daughter's death to Allison and can't get past it. Also, I see Allison as quite strong. Only I see her strength in a negative light. Yes, she is the ring leader and everyone takes her lead..INCLUDING the LCs. I don't know if anyone caught what Jill was saying. Jill's lack of 'opening up' is quite apparent why. She doesn't want to be attacked as TJ has. From what I saw today, Jill told it as it is regarding Allison. Jill is quite intelligent and seems not to be a stranger to understanding human nature. You watch, Jill or TJ will be asked to leave. They're upsetting the apple cart. I almost got to the point that I wasn't going to post anymore on this subject. It's getting old. My disdain for Allison is to the point that it's better to just tape it and ff when she makes an appearance. And, I also see an air of superiority that she displays rather than low self-esteem. As someone else said, this low self-esteem is orchestrated at the approximate time that gives her the center stage.   Top

birdinarage 3 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 06:36 PM (EST) 28. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" Thanks MariJ for touching on something I've felt for a while now. Iyanla seems to have some sort of blind spot for Allison and it's getting old quick. Everytime I think Iyanla is going to call Allison on her bs she never follows through. I'm not buying anything Allie is selling. I believe her whole existance in the SO house is completely contrived. She's spent more time in there then anyone ever and has made little to no progress. The only improvements she has made is in her acting and manipulation since last season. She is a complete waste of SO's time and I guarantee that even if she graduates AGAIN nothing will change in her life. If she can't get real in this atmosphere she has no prayer in the real world. Every wood that comes out of her mouth makes it clear that she does NOT get it. I've lost respect for Iyanla that she continues to let Allison slither through.   Top

rjcan 4 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 04:10 PM (EST) 26. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" we should also include Jessica as second in command to the ring leader   Top

passion4 20 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 12:43 PM (EST) 3. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" You are so right! I think Allison is the Head B**** In the House. She does it in her, "Oh so sweet" sneaking manipulating way! Allison is all about attention, good or bad! I even question her decision to have surgery, when she did. Another way for her to stand -out. I also feel besides Jill, that TJ, is the only one who really appears sincere about trying to change. TJ get's torn apart daily, no matter she does. Yet, she's is still hanging in there. I don't know if I could. TJ, has more sense than they think, I'm so tired of them telling her what she thinks! This house is so toxic right now, I doubt if anything could cleanse it. These women are going to need, starting over rehab after this.   Top

dirtrider 20 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 12:53 PM (EST) 5. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" Does anyone else feel like Allison keeps creating problems (like her drinking) because she is too afraid to leave the house?   Top

DancingMoonChild 54 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 11-28-05, 12:54 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" I can't help but think that because Allison has played the "Femme Fatale" for so long that everyone is afraid to upset her, knowing that they'll pay the price later on. She acts so frail/fragile that when she finally does melt down it's going to be ugly and pathetic. Maybe the mind set of working on their own stuff for the other housemates is to get the hell out of there ASAP and let the next SO women deal with her.   Top

CanaryCircle 19 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 12:56 PM (EST) 7. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" I agree. If they "pick" on Alliston then IV will be all over them. I'm tired of her poor me attitude. There comes a point in your life where you just have to pick yourself up and get over it and on with your life.   Top

Pinkster 159 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 01:08 PM (EST) 8. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" Actually, while I agree with much of what you have said... I also think that Jessica's roll in the funk has been sorely underestimated. Both Allison and Jessica have set themselves up to be the "sweet and saddest" people.... while the more outspoken are "the bad guys". At least Allison has been obvious about it. But I think Jessica is one of those sneaky gossipers ... she snickers, rolls her eyes and huffs and puffs ---- making her feelings (of disrespect for others) known ... but doesn't speak the words (at least on camera). She just reminds me of a kindergartener who's the instigator (idea man) and trouble maker behind the scenes... get the other kids in her class to do bad things ... while she remained apparently uninvolved and creating plausible deniablity for herself. Getting away with it time and time again, while the other kids got into all the trouble. But... ultimately, it had started with her. I can just see her at 6 years old elbowing her best friend and saying: "Wouldn't it be funny to put glue in the teacher's coffee cup while she wasn't looking?" Her "friend" goes ahead and does it... and when the friend gets caught and says "It was Jessica's idea!" ... there's Jessica in the corner of the room, all sweetly quiet and doe-eyed, either denying she said it or saying, "I didn't think she'd actually DO it".... I didn't really MEAN it." At least Allison has had the courage and honesty to admit to her manipulative and emotionally dishonesty ... Jessica is equally dishonest and no one calls her on it. Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. -Maya Angelou   Top

CanaryCircle 19 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 01:11 PM (EST) 10. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" You're right. Jessica needs to get over it too. I'm tired of both A and J crying all t he time. They need to get out in the real world and get a life.   Top

snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 01:42 PM (EST) 12. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" Pinkster, Jessica definitely does play a role, as does Christina. What I notice about Jessica is that she tries to do a lot of her instigating in a non-verbal way...a facial expression here, a nod of the head there, a snicker, an eyeroll, etc. Why? Because these things are more open to interpretation than words...I think she tries to stir the pot without providing any good "quotes" someone can nail her on later. Jessica and Allison both seem to be quite good at stirring up trouble and then acting wide-eyed and innocent. The fact that they have perfected their techniques leads me to believe they both brought LOTS of manipulating and instigating experience to the house with them. (For some reason, I think the term "manipulator" applies most to Allison, and the term "instigator" applies most to Jessica) And when mentioning J. and A., let's not forget that Christina also appears to be at her happiest when there is conflict going on. I think Jill was pretty accurate with her "Christina drops bombs & then runs" comment.   Top

NoahsMom 29 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 11-28-05, 03:00 PM (EST) 18. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" > (For some reason, I >think the term "manipulator" applies >most to Allison, and the >term "instigator" applies most to >Jessica) I completely agree with that statement. If nothing else Allison manipulates every issue so it affects her the most. Then she can through out her favorite excuse, "I'm not comfortable". Jessican just likes to get in there and kiip the coals burning. Then if a table turns she gets "out of her comfort zone". You know if I told my friends and colleagues that I "wasn't comfrotable" when I didn't like something I would have very few friends. And isn't life about stepping out of your comfort zone and LIVE?! Don't laugh at me too much because I'm sure I'm slower at figuring this out than you experts BUT - I know the reason Alison and Jessica get along so well. They both are the most "uncomfortable" people in the house!   Top

wallace 8 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 01:25 PM (EST) 11. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" Pinkster, I think you are right on about Jessica. She is very good at staking out, waiting for the right time to move in and stir things up, then pull back with the "sweet self" she tries to be. It would be better for everyone if they all just called each other on their stuff like we all do here on the message boards   Top

jules1767 151 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 01:42 PM (EST) 13. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" LAST EDITED ON 11-28-05 AT 01:42 PM (EST) Yep Pinkster...I totally agree. As I was reading your post I immediately thought of Angelica on the Rugrats...I just can't decide if that should be applied to Allison or Jessica or both. Maybe we should just go with Angelica #1 and Angelica #2...????   Top

sojunkie 1 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 02:37 PM (EST) 16. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" Have to agree with you on Jessica's role in house gossip being looked over.....she even talks trash behind her best buddy's (Allison) back re: her "drinking problem". You'd think IV would jump all over her if she knew Jess was talking about her poor Ally. There have been at least two occasions where Jessica has said she thinks Allison has a drinking problem or she wishes Ally would not drink to numb out. Now, if she is such good friends w/Ally why not confront her with it? Instead she complains about it to the others or in the confessional. Great friend! There have been plenty of perfect opportunities, the most recent being after the mock funeral when Ally goes into the fridge for another glass of wine. Instead of saying anything directly, she made her usual faces and I think it was her that made the comment about Ally having put the symbolic liquor bottle "to rest" at the funeral. Jessica has also talked plenty of smack about TJ & Lisa along the way. Maybe due to editing we didn't see her addressed by IV during that impomptu group she led on the topic (?) If not, they are way off with assigning blame for the funk!   Top

divawahine 51 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 11-29-05, 11:36 AM (EST) 32. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" >Have to agree with you on >Jessica's role in house gossip >being looked over.....she even talks >trash behind her best buddy's >(Allison) back re: her "drinking >problem". You'd think IV would >jump all over her if >she knew Jess was talking >about her poor Ally. There >have been at least two >occasions where Jessica has said >she thinks Allison has a >drinking problem or she wishes >Ally would not drink to >numb out. Now, if >she is such good friends >w/Ally why not confront her >with it? Instead she complains >about it to the others >or in the confessional. Great >friend! There have been >plenty of perfect opportunities, the >most recent being after the >mock funeral when Ally goes >into the fridge for another >glass of wine. Instead >of saying anything directly, she >made her usual faces and >I think it was her >that made the comment about >Ally having put the symbolic >liquor bottle "to rest" at >the funeral. Jessica has also >talked plenty of smack about >TJ & Lisa along the >way. Maybe due to >editing we didn't see her >addressed by IV during that >impomptu group she led on >the topic (?) If >not, they are way off >with assigning blame for the >funk! I missed the funeral episode, but I have to agree that Jessica does gossip. I remember the first exercise they had when she stepped onto the rocks (disqualification) and she said something like...well maybe no one saw (dishonesty too). She does have that seemingly sweet demeanor but underneath it all she stirs that pot. All said - each HM gossips about each other, they do not stand together I wish someone would gratuate, get kicked out so we can get some new blood in there.   Top

atzd 83 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 11-28-05, 03:36 PM (EST) 22. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" Well said! Jessica is a sneaky, gossipy, backstabber and instigator of most of the troubles in the house. Without her, the women would have an easier time connecting. Also, I haven't seen her do any assignments lately, maybe she's done and ready to go.   Top

bentherdunthat 518 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 11-28-05, 02:09 PM (EST) 14. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" I thought it was pretty lame that it turned into an "attack TJ" session. Interesting how the houseguests that she's coaching got a "Thank you for your honesty" and TJ got piled on. Maybe Iyanla is taking out her dislike of Rhonda on TJ. I wanted to point out that I've noticed that when TJ and Jill are talking about other houseguests the conversation is usually focused around what that particular houseguest has triggered in themselves and how they can apply what they have learned.It just seems to be more focused on what they learned from the situation. When Christina, Lisa, and Jessica are talking about the other houseguests it seems to be more "She's so annoying" and "I wish she would just shut up" kind of statements-counterproductive gossiping. Mind you, it could all be due to artful editing, but that has been my perception. Iyanla dropped the ball on this emergency group by not making them see it though. Any momentum they had towards clearing the "funk" fizzled out the second she left.As soon as Iyanla left it turned into the sugary "my perception..." crap (led by guess who-Allison) and tiptoeing around everyone's feelings. And did anyone notice how Jessica, the "gossip-mongering-est" gossip monger just sat back and said NOTHING about her own behavior? Everything was put back on TJ. I'm dissappointed because I really want to see someone HONESTLY say to Jessica, Lisa, Christine and Miss ALLISON exactly what they think of them. Just once.r   Top

mimibunny 230 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 11-28-05, 02:17 PM (EST) 15. "allisons self esteem?" You are so right about the superiority thing, it really doesnt make sense how this women seems to spend hours on her hair an make-up and then say shes worthless. If she really felt that way,why would she be so worried about how she looks like? She can go from mu-mu to heals in ten minutes.I would think it would be the opposite, she wouldnt care what she looked like. She is very manipulative..Maybe she needs a visit from that guy who was her friend from back home.What was his name? Steve? He was a lot more fun than she is.. what do those women do all day long?? It looks like nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I say bring Karen back and show her what years of substance abuse does to your face!   Top

Angelbaby3782 23 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 02:52 PM (EST) 17. "RE: allisons self esteem?" ditto to everyone. did anyone else how in the first session alison turned the attention from jill to herself when jill was talking about her struggle with chips and she just doesnt understand how it can be so hard for herself and how unfair it seems when some people can eat whatever and not gain a pound and she eats some chips and gains 5 pounds. i understand how she feels too, but everyone is made differently. so alison jumps in, turns the convo to herslef and how she understands because its the same way with her...scene cut to alison in the kitchen making herself an enormous plate of french fries...yes, i can definitely see how they are much better, healthier than chips..no alison you're not fat...keep eating them..maybe if you continue drinking and eating fat then well have another health reason to keep you in the house   Top

monti 101 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 03:12 PM (EST) 19. "RE: allisons self esteem?" Todays show actually made me angry! Angry at myself for continuing to watch this show, and angry about the unfair treatment of TJ and Jill. The life coaches are of no help in the situation. They are adding fuel to the fire. Why has Jessica, Christina, Lisa and Allison not confronted about their gossip? I am at the end of my rope in trying to understand. I keep watching in hope that things will improve, but it just keeps getting worse! I am so disgusted with this season, that I fast forward footage of Christina, Jessica, Lisa and Allison. They turn my stomach!   Top

SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 11-28-05, 03:15 PM (EST) 20. "RE: allisons self esteem?" You know what is sad? I got hooked on this show because it was different. It had women, generally pretty humble, who shared the issues we all try to deal with - the good and the bad. I am now watching a program that is beginning to disturb me on a level that no other program has. I actually look forward to the messages on this board to see whether or not I am hopelessly out of step with good common sense. The insight most of you have is amazing (i.e.: Allison being weighed down with self-hatred but planning her own surprise party, Allison coming from a horribly dysfunctional, loveless home that celebrated birthdays as if the messiah had been born, Jessica and her "hard to nail" facial expressions). I'm learning more from you ladies and your struggles and insights than anything SO has televised in months. Iyanla, whether she is being forced by a producer or believes she is doing these ladies a service, has become an enabler to an incredibly destructive force named Allison. At first I thought that Allison might get a reality check. But that went so far off course, it is hard to describe or believe what happened. The contradictions, the obvious double standards - they came too quickly to even remember. That meeting became another well crafted message that Allison is SPECIAL. Why Iyanla betrayed Jill (quoting from a private conversation they had) in an effort to further enthrone Allison is mystery to me. I'm beginning to realize that it TJ's and Jill's strength that threatens everyone, including the coaches, in the house. I hope they leave soon, and I hope they leave intact. The dynamic in this house is beginning to resemble the control techniques used by cult leaders. I am not being dramatic...it is actually making me sick.   Top

snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 03:38 PM (EST) 23. "RE: allisons self esteem?" Seasoned, I have to tell you how much I enjoy reading your posts. I appreciate how well thought out your points are. Thank you for sharing your views here.   Top

Angela1928 229 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 11-28-05, 05:18 PM (EST) 27. "SeasonedRefinement , you are not alone" SeasonedRefinement , you are not alone I too used to feel healing when watching SO. In season 1 I was amazed at how much support was given to Josie when she walked out. Even when Amy was upset that Josie was getting all the attention from Rana, they had a face-to-face talk so that Josie, Amy and Rana could let it all out. In season 2 when Renae and Rachel hated each other Iyanla had them sit down face to face to have a "fierce conversation" and I was happy to see that the poison left their relationship. Now in season 3 all we see each episode is poison and backstabbing. Jessica's many expressions, Christina dropping bombs and running, Allison’s constant fake smile and then mean comments, Lisa cursing out women who don’t do her work for her, etc. etc. etc. I find that coming to this forum lets me get out all the negative vibes that build up when I see the SO show. At least here I can see women who are sincere and really speak their minds instead of the never ending gossip!   Top

MariJ 157 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 07:48 PM (EST) 30. "RE: allisons self esteem?" SeasonedRefinement...as usual, you hit everything I've been seeing and feeling. If TJ and Jill's sanity keeps in tact, I'd be surprised. I think Jill isn't buying into what the LCs are saying. Actually, I see her having more of a healthier self-esteem than TJ. Although, I think many times Jill just keeps her thoughts to herself as far as I'm concerned. She came to that conclusion in life much sooner than I have as far as not opening up to unsafe people. As far as I'm concerned, the SO house is probably a reenactment of TJ's childhood. I wish she would stop explaining herself and take her cue from Jill. And what you said about this being a cult...BINGO! At this point, I think Jill and TJ have more integrity than ALL of the HGs AND the LCs. I think part of the reasons why these 2 get singled out by the LCs is b/c they tell it like it is and are genuine. They don't play into the head games or cater to Allison. And Allison would have had a royal FIT if Jill had a date on HER SPECIAL DAY. I never heard Jill make one peep about it. As far as I'm concerned, both Jill and TJ have shown remarkable restraint. I think I would have told ALL of them including the LCs to take a flying leap and left the SO house.   Top

shortnsweet 33 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 11-28-05, 03:30 PM (EST) 21. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" Puh-leeeze!! TJ brought everything on herself today. I finally got to see why she's driving the others crazy. Talk about wanting to be the center of attention and not being honest. Her psychobabble is a way of hiding her true feelings. This is not a put-down of TJ - I love it when she is direct and honest. But she really seeems to thrive on negative energy at times.   Top

yankee 2 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 03:47 PM (EST) 24. "They are all annoying!" These women are all annoying. I can't wait for new women to join the house and bring new energy. I'm so sick of the over annalyzing everything and everyone.   Top

mimibunny 230 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 11-29-05, 02:18 PM (EST) 34. "I agree" Send them all to Iraq for a couple of months, that will shape them up!!Then they can see how stupid and insignificant their problems are!   Top

DJINJABEAN 21 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 04:02 PM (EST) 25. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" I agree, Allisons IS the leader of the funk. Her ups and downs, poor me, and super charged ego are common alcholic behavior. Alli needs AA, not SO.   Top

FMkelly 8 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 11-28-05, 07:21 PM (EST) 29. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" I can't agree with you more. I can't believe that Allison continues to stay protective by the life coaches. Also, why was Lisa who is staying in the guest house was NOT called on the carpet. Did you see the grin on Christina's face? I can't believe nothing was said to her about that. I wondering if the producers are reacting to what is being written on the message boards. TJ is there because of a communication problem, what is the excess do the other housemates have? I am not finding the show uplifting either.   Top

maryellennaco 1084 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 11-29-05, 10:22 AM (EST) 31. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" I TOTALLY agree. Allison is FUNKY enough for everyone, especially when she starts in with that bull about "Rhonda taught us,blah, blah.." I thought my eyes were going to roll back in my head at all that hooey. What I REALLY can't understand is why Iylana is so hard on TJ & Jill when Lisa & Jessica can't WAIT to get in the car and start talking about TJ &Jill!! It was like, when Jill mentioned it, IV just zeroed in on JILL... Waaayyy too weird! And Allison & her birthday crap, was just as phoney as ever. She is a mess!! And it looks like as her reward, she'll get to meet Magic Johnson. EERRRRPPP!!!!   Top

JoeyGirl 9 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 11-29-05, 01:40 PM (EST) 33. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" As I have seen it Allison plays IV's fave card way too much. I mean Allison has said things about all the other HGs behind their backs all the time. The reason Jill and TJ are getting zeroed in was because they talked bad about IV's baby. It is just not right! Everyone tip toes around Allison like she is this breakable person but, if you really think about it Allison lived through two major surgerys and cemo so why is she crying about a messy kitchen? Really Allison needs to be told what is wrong with her. It was really messed up how she cried about her birthday being ruined so the HGs would go buy her some cake instead of hearing what Jill and TJ had to say about her. She thinks she knows it all because she was in the second season and she uses that to stick her nose in everyones work instead of her own. Also, is it me or is it a little annoying how she narrates everything that goes on in the house in the confessonal? Truth hurt, Ally, get use to it!   Top

snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 11-29-05, 02:28 PM (EST) 35. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" I am also sooo sick of Allison's overdramatic confessionals. It seems like SO is always cutting to her doughy face to "explain" what we just saw, even if it has nothing to do with her. I hate how she acts in these things...like she is auditioning to be some twisted obese version of Erika Kane.   Top

Catlynn1864 227 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 11-29-05, 03:57 PM (EST) 36. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" As I write this, it is now the next day after the 'emergency meeting'. Once again IV has given Allison the idea that she has done nothing wrong. I can't believe that I sat here and watched as IV praised Allison for her behavior the night before in sitting and listening to what the other women had to say about her for 15 minutes (? must be editing) and not 'reacting.' I guess IV didn't see Allison sitting there with all her birthday glory falling down around her head smiling her tight fake smile and being oh so sweet with the 'I am not judging you I am judging myself' psycho-babble that she learned from Rhonda. I guess it is ok to quote Rhonda and her lessons but not to have actually consulted Rhonda about her (TJ) problem. Not to mention the Queen of Guilt Trips asking if she can be angry about her birthday being ruined.   Top

JoeyGirl 9 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 11-29-05, 08:25 PM (EST) 37. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" Allison's problem is she is and always was babyed by a mother figure. First her real mom and now IV. I believe it is time to cut the cords because if she does not it will be a tragic day when her mother and IV are not around to help anymore.   Top

Gerry 11 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 11-30-05, 00:44 AM (EST) 38. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" AMEN, I agree 100% with you. T.J. has alot to offer but evidently the life coaches this year are more intent upon enabling a bunch a whiny assed bithches. I am shocked at the way from day 1 TJ has been treated by both the life coaches and the "ladies". Obviously the life coaches have NO real experience in dealing with one with (dis)abilities. TJ has offered very valuable insight, especially to poor poor poor Allison. It is shocking as well as disgusting to watch the life coaches encourage such disrespectful, irresponsible, unpreoffessional, unethical and immoral actions towards TJ. Since when did she have to clean up when poor poor poor Allison demanded that the kitchen be cleaned. What a wonderful learning experience it would have been for big Al to have to actually "Learn" something.......noooooo she was emphatically encouraged to go in and belittle TJ once again. TJ was 1million% correct. Why ask to have accountability partners if it was to be so selective. Iylana needs to look at her own prejudices it is very obviously that she is intolerant of those whose problems are truly real, no choice on TJ's part to be born with multiple developmental issues. I am shocked that TJ was put in a box towrite out her inadequecies, HELLO she is not able to read; nothing like rubbing it in... try to read up on how to deal with disabilities do not use people as rats for some cheap media ploy. I speak with authority on these issues. I have a PHD in Special Education, I am a School Psychologist. I have taught from jr.high thru college. I also have visual disabilities (from birth) and also have many major medical issues. I understand deeply where these people are coming from but this year this show that I had told soooo many people about is extremely disturbing. You comment today was right on target. Sadly a show that I thought had great therapeutic value has now become a sham. This can be backed up by watching how well Jose is doing. Obviously big Al, the Queen of the Funk will leave and be helped about as much as Jose, now I see the pattern. ( I am also nationally recognized in the field of assessment esp. IQ testing....I really ,mean it when i SAy I see the pattern) The life coaches need some real education it is obvious they lack a great deal in actual diagnosis; bvig Al is an alcoholic which has not been addressed and in today's show she wants to work with celebrity charity.....GIVE ME A BREAK how unauthentic. The queens jesters, esp Jessica and Christina need to learn that they are there for help, not to insert their noses up, as if they are so well of to be passing judgement. They must have mirrors that do not reflect back because the one you really must answer to is the one ikn the glass. This group of women would greatly benefit from some se3nsory deprivation exercises (as well as the life coaches?) as empathy goes so much further than belittleing. We are all the same in this big ole world and when we look to others forhelp and guidance and they teach intolerance for those that are "different" we have taken many steps backwards. I have taught diversirty courses.....I am proud to say that 99% of my students would know better than to treat someone who is different with such disrespect and intolerance. SHAME ON YOU ALL for allowing TJ to be treated as if she has nothing to offer. I believe she truly has offered the most and has been unheard by proffessional that know better (I thought). I have taped these past few weeks because I get so upset I realize that maybe I need to take a break a review the show later. I want to thank you for writing exactly what I have felt from day one. Hopefully we will see some improvement but I am afraid that the media aspect of this show has taken over any real therapeutic eneavors. I do not usually state what my background is but this whole season has trulu rubbed me wrong due to my professional background. Obviously you also are a very intuitvie person who truly cares about others and is tired of the bs from big Aland her cohorts. I am thankful that Jill has been the most authentic to TJ, more so than the life coaches.   Top

Gerry 11 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 11-30-05, 01:15 AM (EST) 39. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" I have to admit I must be dyslexic I had not read anyone else's replys to Wllace...it is very comforting to know we see the light. Now I know for sure that I will utilize all of you so that I do not keep all of my anger towards the so show inside. I was amazed at how much synchronicity there was among our replys. There are real careing people who donot enjoy watching an enabling intolerant show in the name of SO now it should be Shut UP or SO what.   Top

maryellennaco 1084 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 11-30-05, 11:15 AM (EST) 40. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" Yep, it IS enlightening to discover WE HAVE ALL BEEN WATCHING THE SAME SHOW!! I was thinking I was being too critical of Big Al and all her "baggage" but you all have been seeing the same thing! When Allison told IV that "Magic likes my passion!" and then said, "Jessica has been helping me with my resume, that blah, blah, something about being more BOASTFUL",and finally; her assertion that she wants to wowrk with "celebrity foundations", I almost blew a gasket!! VOMIT!!! I cannot in the WORLD imagine her being able to take the back seat to some "real celebrity" foundation!!! She is not only out in left field, she has done and gone OFF THE RESERVATION!!! Did any of you actually hear MAGIC JOHNSON use the word "PASSION"??? He might have said, enthusiasm, but PASSION??   Top

mimibunny 230 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 11-30-05, 11:54 AM (EST) 41. "babies" Allsion and Lisa have a lot in common, they both are babies and they both have this thing about getting attention from men. Have you all noticed how they go into this flirty dopey mode around any man wherever they are? Its sad.   Top

coneal 11 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 11-30-05, 12:13 PM (EST) 42. "RE: Allison - ring leader of "the funk"" I have just stopped watching the show since yesterday. I also emailed my disdain for this season to the starting over staff. I am fed up with this bullcrap called Allison and Jessica and Iyanla hit a terrible nerve when she called out Jill and TJ. I couldn't believe how she cut them in front of the three stooges. Iyanla needs to take the wool off of her eyes quick, fast and in a hurry up. I was becoming an angry individual by watching this show and..... let me just stop talking about it 'cause the curse words are spewing up. Although I will not be watching the show, I will come back to this site every now and then to check on the status of Jill and TJ. Moving on.   Top

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