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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
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"GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK"
TODDLJ1 3 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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03-28-07, 07:45 PM (EST)
 
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"GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-28-07 AT 07:50 PM (EST)THIS WEEK’S DIVA RANKINGS 1. Blake Lewis
Blake gets my first Diva of the Week award! They proclaimed him the front-runner, and nothing against his barely-adequate voice, but I think I can pinpoint the real reason. I’m going to be totally predictable and announce that I think Blake is absolutely DREAMY. (This is Gay Idol Journal, after all, what were you expecting?) I totally wanted to take off his adorable asymmetrical zip-front olive/black striped sweater, for two reasons: one, so I could borrow it for myself, and two, so I could see him nekkid! His baggy black pants were totally acceptable, but I wonder if he will ever choose some more classically tailored slacks that might better show off his… assets (which I’m sure you all have noticed.) Oh, and I liked his cute new haircut, too. Hi Blake! (Call me?) 2. Haley Scarnato
Haley may have been dull as toast vocally this week, but she certainly was a feast for the eyes! Say what you will about her ‘talent,’ but it’s clear girlfriend knows where her votes are coming from! She looked hot as hell in her black knit sweaterdress, which was gathered in the front to accentuate her perky breasts, and cut out in the back (and nice and high on the leg) to maximize her skin exposure. Her simple black pumps, and delicate jewelry, were perfect as well. I want America to keep Hottie Haley in the competition (if only to see more of her even-hotter boyfriend!) 3. Chris Richardson
Chris looked predictably cute in his olive military-inspired jacket, white dress shirt, and skinny tie. I also liked his not-overly-baggy jeans. What is starting to annoy me, however, is his redundant choice of footwear. Big, clunky white tennies may be a good choice to shoot some hoops… but you’re performing for millions now, Chris… it’s time to step it up. Those huge white boats bring our attention to your feet… and not in a good way. How about some stylish narrow Diesel shoes? Or, better yet, how about some nice Kenneth Cole suede boots to dress up that casual outfit a bit? 4. Sanjaya Malakar
Prior to this week, I hated Sanjaya, because I felt he was unwittingly making a mockery of this competition. After this week, I love Sanjaya… because now I recognize… that he is INTENTIONALLY making a mockery of this competition! I love his “f*** off Simon” smile, I love his whispery-androgynous voice, and his brown leather jacket was to-die-for! And, the literal icing on the cake, was the HAIR. This week, he was rocking the pony-tail-fauxhawk (and getting far more votes for it that Nadia ever did!) YOU GO, GIRL! 5. Melinda Doolittle
Simon may have hated Melinda’s look this week, but I’ve certainly seen worse. Considering she was singing a Donna Summer song, she seems to have gone with the era, choosing a disco-era-inspired blue patterned silk tankdress, worn over black leggings. Let’s face it, Melinda’s body shape must make her difficult to dress, and considering that, I didn’t think this was a total washout. I especially liked the flippy bob… MUCH better than last week’s odd pageboy style. She doesn’t appear, however, to be too comfortable in the high heels… so I say: ‘ditch the heels, girl, and throw on some strappy sandals instead!’ We’ll forgive you (and you’ll be more comfortable.) 6. Gina Glocksen
This may be a surprise to some of you, but I actually liked Gina this week, and I’m giving her Most Improved. Her black suede boots (with white crosses) were really hot. And I love her new inverted bob, it’s very flattering for someone with her face shape. I even liked (with some reservations) her pink, gold and black minidress. Sure, it looked like it was made of strips from various old scarves… and sure she was girdled within an inch of her life in order to fit into it… but, nonetheless, this dress was clearly more flattering than anything else she has worn on the show. 7. LaKisha Jones
There may be some who liked LaKisha’s dress this week, but you can’t count me among them. The dress itself was lovely enough, a black/pink silk floral number with a kimono-inspired top. Unfortunately, the length of the skirt and the way it fell on her (in a hard line, just above her black “f*** me” boots) left LaKisha “cut off at the knees,” and with an undesirable bell shape. I also noticed that her wig appeared to be pushed just a bit too far back on her head this week, leaving her with an oddly high forehead. Finally, I noticed LaKisha was sporting severe new French tips, which according to Antonella’s best friend, means that LaKisha is ‘slutty.’ Maybe all of this would matter to me more if LaKisha didn’t seem to always have this vaguely uninterested look on her face that makes it hard for me to care about her at all. 8. Phil Stacey
Remember on the original Star Trek series, when Mr. Spock would wear a knit cap and tuck his ears in to conceal his Vulcan identity? Well, Phil took a cue from Spock this week in his black knit hat, and with his huge elfin ears carefully tucked, he nearly passed as a human being. Please, Phil, do this every week! It makes a huge difference. I wish, however, that he would do something about his too-black and too-manicured eyebrows. (Perhaps if he were to bleach them slightly so they would stand out less against his pasty skin? And perhaps re-shape them to look a bit more natural?) Phil’s general attire was absolutely fine this week, however. I actually liked the black studded corduroy jacket, grey hoodie, and red graphic T. All, in all, a good week for Phil. (Which isn’t too huge of a compliment, actually.) 9. Jordin Sparks
Jordin, I’m sorry to say, was a complete mess this week. In fact, I’m citing her with a Fashion Citation for her “age (but not body type) appropriate attire.” She appeared to be going for a modified Britney, in a red/white checked cropped hoodie, short grey pleated skirt, and high grey boots. She further ‘cuted-up’ the look with a high ponytail, and huge hoop earrings. Considering she’s only 17, this look should have worked, in theory. The problem is, Jordin, god love her, simply doesn’t have the body type to pull this off. The flare of the skirt made her hips look wider (only a narrow-hipped girl should attempt this) and the cropped top left her with no waistline at all. I’m not, by any means saying Jordin is fat. She is NOT fat. However, Jordin could lose all the weight in the world and still not look good in this outfit. Note to American teenagers: NOT EVERYONE LOOKS GOOD IN EVERY FASHION TREND. If Jordin want to embrace her youth, how about some sexy embroidered jeans with those boots? How about a cute camisole top? 10. Chris Sligh
Where do I even start with this walking Fashion Citation? Head to toe… a complete and utter failure. I still hate his mushroom hair. I still hate his ridiculously thin ‘soul patch.’ On someone else, the brown distressed sportcoat and taupe patterned shirt could have worked, but on Sligh, they accentuated his ever-growing belly. His huge baggy jeans did him no favors either. NOTE TO THE “HORIZONTALLY CHALLENGED”: Baggy clothing does not make you look slimmer. It makes you look EVEN BIGGER. The world will be a prettier place when this man is banished from our TV screens.
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Snidget 44369 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-28-07, 07:49 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK" |
Yippee!!!!!!!!!
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khern 15 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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03-28-07, 09:15 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK" |
Larry it makes my whole life better to see this post. Yes, my life is that lame. Totally, hilarious and you were right about Sligh.
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frisky 11695 desperate attention whore postings
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03-28-07, 11:13 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK" |
****exhales**********You.Complete.Me. I hope it was good for you, too, Larry. ITA with everything you said. Wasn't poor Jordin hideous in that outfit? And I'm so glad we are on the same page with Sanji! *smooches*
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dragonflies 8051 desperate attention whore postings
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03-29-07, 07:03 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK" |
Thanks Larry, and Welcome back! Love to read your column every week!
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Wasabi 64 desperate attention whore postings
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03-29-07, 07:45 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK" |
Suddenly, the 35F weather outside feels so much warmer. Is it all the "assets" talk or is it Larry's eternal wit shining so brightly? Either way, it's a great way to start a new day!
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Lasann 3616 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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03-29-07, 08:03 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK" |
There he is!!!!Spot on. Jordin went from fabulous the previous week to disaster this week. 
It a Tribe original!!!
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samboohoo 17173 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-29-07, 09:38 AM (EST)
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23. "RE: GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK" |
Yay!!If anything was screaming for you to come back, it was this particular show. Thank you.
Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.
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kathliam 3669 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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03-29-07, 11:01 AM (EST)
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25. "RE: GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK" |
*happy dance* *happy dance*Larry's back! Larry's back! Thank you, thank you, thank you. *happy dance* *happy dance* Your presence and commentary make the season so much more bearable. We can only hope that Sanjaya hasn't started a new fashion trend among tweeners -- the 'ponyhawk'. It was bad enough Ryan felt it necessary to wear one Wednesday night. Yikes! *happy dance* *happy dance* Larry's back.
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taffnic 5392 desperate attention whore postings
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03-29-07, 11:14 AM (EST)
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26. "RE: GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK" |
Welcome back. This is such great reading and so true.
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priestdi 378 desperate attention whore postings
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03-29-07, 12:26 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK" |
ahhhhhhhhhh. now my life has meaning again.
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moonbaby 17120 desperate attention whore postings
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03-30-07, 09:58 PM (EST)
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29. "Bravo!" |
Thank you so much for coming back to do this again! LMAO about the Phil/Spock hat trick. Eyebrows, too-looks like Phil and Sanjaya have been playing with a Sharpie.
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zazzy 4390 desperate attention whore postings
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04-02-07, 08:31 AM (EST)
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33. "RE: GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK" |
Thanks for posting that priestdi--loved this quote from the stylist:------ "To be honest, Simon just says things to rile people up, to try and get an argument," he explains. "He's like a spoiled little British schoolboy sometimes. "Being British, I know exactly what they're like." ------- So even the stylist on the show is a Brit. I am really not surprised.
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zazzy 4390 desperate attention whore postings
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04-02-07, 08:26 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: GAY IDOL JOURNAL - GWEN STEFANI WEEK" |
"Sigh". "Deep breath". "Exhale". The season is finally underway!Thank you Larry! Loved reading this week's installment and look forward to the next 2 months--more Blake love, more Lakisha snark, more,more, more! Any thoughts on this year's Ryan, Simon, Paula, Randy? Nigel in the audience? And what about the obligatory family and friend shots we are starting to get? Can't wait to read next week's installment.
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