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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Famous Survivor Rejects"
BluSavana 694 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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08-28-00, 01:24 PM (EST)
 
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"Famous Survivor Rejects" |
LAST EDITED ON 08-28-00 AT 02:31 PM (EST)Courtesy of Maxim Magazine, some little known applicants to Survivor:
1. Name: Axl Rose
Occupation: Musician, recluse
I would make a good Survivor because: I thrive in isolation. It's now day 3,372 of my home-recording session. Rations are light; supermodels no longer return my calls, and I could really use the peace and quiet of a remote island getaway with suitable media coverage in order to get my act together. I'm already pretty ropey looking, and I haven't bathed in ages--we're talking bedsores the size of quarters. But with the crap I've dumped in my body, I can't see bugs and rats being a problem, long as I got a bottle of Jack 2. Name: Bill
Occupation: Lame Duck
I would make a good Survivor because: I'm about to have a lot of time on my hands, and I really need to get away from the wife for a while, if you know what I mean. Some of those chicks you got on the island are notorious, dudes--bring on the shell bikinis! Hey are you disqualified from this thing if you smoked some pot back in college? Just curious. Oh crap: Here comes the battle-ax now. Please please take me--or at least kill me... 3. Name: Demi
Occupation: Actress, Mother
I would make a good Survivor because: Let's see...a remote place where people can banish you for life if you commit the slightest offense? I've got news for you: It's called Hollywood. Make one lousy attempt at respectibility and BAM--off to the island of misfit actresses with Ally Freakin' Sheedy. No one laughed at Bruce when he turned "serious" and he didn't even have the best boobs money can buy. By the way, isn't Pulau Tiga a great name for a child? Pulau if it's a boy, and Tiga if it's a girl. 4. Name: Whitney
Occupation: Diva
I would make a good Survivor because: Because I am already a survivor! One minute you've got the best-selling single in the country--the next some trampy dressin' Long Island ho steals your whole act. A girl can't even smoke a joint in an airport these days without her #%& getting harrassed. But I will survive (oh, that gives me an idea) and I'm 100 percent comitted to the...uh...Listen, sorry for the short notice here, but I'm going to have drop out of the whole application process. My vocal cords are just shot. Maybe you can get Faith Hill to fill in for me...?
BLU
When I woke up this morning and I realized you weren't here, things really looked dark and the whole world seemed stinking and rotten...Then the dog rolled off my face--Hallmark
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Leif Eriksen 1179 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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08-28-00, 04:03 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Famous Survivor Rejects" |
Blu, how can I put this in a kind way, OK here goes, enough of that quote from Hallmark already; OK, I said it. I am thanking you now for your cooperation.
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Leif Eriksen 1179 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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08-28-00, 04:17 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Famous Survivor Rejects" |
Hope I didn't hurt your feelings. I had to say it once and that's all. I hope you still love me, Blu?
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