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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Dangdumb Interviews"
Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-21-02, 10:16 PM (EST)
 
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"Dangdumb Interviews" |
D: Uh, Jan, could I have a moment with you?
J: Oh, (sniffle) I don't like being in the spotlight.
D: How do you think your First Grade Class will feel about you crying over having to pick the team.
J: I just was so nervous I'd pick all the wrong people and I'm not a leader.
D: If you're not a leader, why didn't you like John taking the lead?
J: We shouldn't be sep'rated like that, not even when we needin the outhouse.
D: What else did he do that bothered you?
J: He told us not to row the boat round in circles.
D: Well! That explains it. And Ghandia, you don't think she showed herself to be a weak link?
J: She's a nice gal and I like her.
D: Thank you, Jan, and by the way, love the pigtails!
Whose sig pic is this?
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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-22-02, 07:33 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Dangdumb Interviews" |
D: Robb, could I have a minute with you?
R: Hey, dude! I love you and I haven't even talked to you yet.
D: I'm a dudette, Robb, but thank you for making eye contactb. I see you're already making friends on the island.
R: Yea, I'm on the team with all the good looking chicks. Wanna see my hands?
D: You were working very hard, Robb. What was the argument about with Shii Ann?
R: Look at my hands! We don't need food, we need to get out of the rain so we can sleep. She should be chopping with the rest of us.
D: Sounds like you didn't expect building a shelter to be so tough.
R: I guess I shouldn't have let loose on the NY chick, but she doesn't have big ta-tas, so what the heck.
D: So what's your strategy, Robb?
R: We're the young, strong team. We're gonna kick butt. That old lady's team is gonna be wiped off this island by us dudes.
D: How do you plan on NOT getting wiped off the island yourself?
R: Dude! I'm working hard. I'm strong and I'm going to get people to fear me so they do what I want. I saw that in the Godfather.
D: What's that on your forehead, Robb?
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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-27-02, 00:58 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: Dangdumb Interviews" |
Today's interview: The Invicible Helen *applause* D: Helen, did you enjoy your field trip with Jan?
H: I know she's older than me but jeesh! Aside from getting lost, she just sat in the boat and then I found her floating in the water after I did all the work! I wanted to row back to Snake Island and leave her there! I can see her jumping up and down on the beach yelling while I row away. I might have even cracked a smile.
D: She also cost you precious time in the swimming challenge.
H: Wow, did you see her little ol' feet kicking? She can swim, all right; it's a shame she left her brain back on the pier.
D: What's it like working with Green Berets and Seals?
H: They're not all like Rudy, I'll tell ya. These guys know 46 different ways to kill someone with their bare hands, and they're still young enough to do it! Wish one of 'em was here with me now, I could sure use a good pair of hands.
D: Ghandia doesn't like the way you keep your emotions in check. Do you think you'll soften up a little while you're here?
H: Soften up? Like Ghandia? No, I don't think we have enough food for that.
D: I have a seafood joke; will you share it with Clay?
H: Yea, why not.
D: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
H: I dunno.
D: One is a scum-sucking bottom dweller and the other is a fish!
H: TeeHee.
D: Don't laugh too hard, there, Helen; you need your energy for the next water run. Thank you for talking with me, Helen. I'm going to soak up some sun -- I suggest you lighten up.
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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-05-02, 00:13 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: Dangdumb Interviews" |
D: Ghandia, you seem to keep crumbling under pressure. What seems to be the problem?
G: That puzzle is old news. But I'll tell you one thing, when I get home, my kids are going to work with me on that.
D: Uh huh. About this Ted thing. You discussed it with him, then hugged and thanked him for his apology, told the world that poor Ghandia *whom everyone confuses with Halle Barry cough* had this problem before, told the whole tribe a new and embellished story and split the tribe in half. Is this part of your strategy?
G: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! *throws rock* I just wanted him to be honest. I just wanted the tribe to know what he did.
D: You don't by any chance have any beef jerky, do you?
G: Huh? *scratches head*
D: Do you think you'll be able to keep your emotions in check? It seems some of your tribemates aren't comfortable with your recent outburst.
G: Ahhhhhhhhh! Somethings biting my shoulder. *brushes shoulder frantically*
D: Probably not deadly, but it sure is a big sucker, isn't it?
But we have good news, Ghandia. You'll soon be getting a package from home, courtesy of MB.
G: Really? What is it? Letters from my family? A case of Twinkies?
D: Twinkies, yea. You are what you eat. No, Ghandia MB is bringing you your medication. He does feel somewhat responsible for the well being of the media-ho's no matter what you've signed. You will take your meds, now Ghanida, won't you?
G: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. *Runs from interview toward's snake beach.*
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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-05-02, 08:48 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Dangdumb Interviews" |
Proof of Life (not of intelligence) D: Ken, your tribe seems to be starving. What's the problem?
K: No freakin food. Lost the freakin net.
D: Have you looked around the jungle near your camp?
K: Couldn't find anything in the freakin jungle; just some freakin coconuts.
D: But you have a nice shelter and you're the young, strong team.
K: We need to get rid of the freakin lazy people.
D: How can you tell the lazy ones from the rest?
K: Now that the shelter's built, it's not as easy to tell, but I'm trained to be observant.
D: And you have observed what?
K: I tell you, I've had enough of these Southerners. If they show up in NYC, I'm gonna give 'em tickets: speeding, parking, jay-walking. Anything I can think of. Freakin Southerners. If I ever hear anyone with a freakin drawl when I get home, I'm gonna arrest 'em for loitering.
D: Breath, Ken.
K: Thanks, I forgot.
D: So pastrami on rye would sound pretty good right about now.
K: Oh, yeah! From Carnegie! With a big dill pickle and some sour cream and onion chips.
D: Do they give it to New York's finest free when you're in uniform?
K: Uh, uh, no. We're not supposed to do that. But what the hell are we supposed to eat around here? Guess we'll have to catch fish in our teeth and send Shi Ann into the forest. If she doesn't come back, at least Robb will stop his freakin
b!tching.
D: Sounds like a good plan *cough*, good luck on the freakin fishing and foraging. Talk to you later!
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Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-05-02, 08:57 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Dangdumb Interviews" |
Dakota!! Honey!!! These crack me up! Keep up the good work!LOL about the net! ( Pssst, if you were serious about the sig, I think Puffy used to use that same pic) 
People For The Preservation Of Shakes Enourmous Head
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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-08-02, 12:24 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: The Elusive Penney" |
D: Penny, you're not getting much camera time.
P: That NY chick with the small ta-ta's keeps hogging the camera.
D: So there are more rifts in your tribe than we know, huh?
P: What'd you expect, we're starving to death!
D: How do feel about Jed's ouster?
P: Well, he was one of the better looking guys, but he wasn't much fun. He didn't enjoy our sleepovers AT ALL! Just not an Alpha male, I guess. Anyway, it was a really tough decision, and I love everyone here, but someone had to be eliminated.
D: Did your tribe consider voting Robb off?
P: Robb is so cute. Too bad he's such a idjit. But we need strong and energetic right now.
D: I notice you were making a lot of eye contact with Jiffy at TC. Anything going on there?
P: I didn't know if I wanted to date him or eat him. Gosh I'm hungry.
D: How long before you and your tribe starts dropping like flies from hunger?
P: Another couple of days. I work with a lot of doctors so I know you can live a long, painful time without food. The Sookies have asked me, former cheerleader extraordinaire, to cheer them to victory at the next RC -- we're hoping for food.
D: You seem pretty perky under the circumstances.
P: I guess I'm just a perky kinda gal.
D: Penny, you sell drugs for a living, don't you.
P: Oooooh, yeesssssssssss! D: Another mystery unraveled.
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Dakota 5819 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-16-02, 03:38 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Grumpy " |
Having interviewed Dopey (Dude), Bashful (Jan), Happy (John) and Doc (Helen), we move down the line to Grumpy. D: Stephanie, are you going to try to get on the other tribe?
S: Do they know how to pick fish up off the ground and cook 'em? Hands on hips, looking mean.
D: Yes, actually they figured that out right quick.
S: Do they have a shelter?
D: Yes, but the native residents are still *hanging around*.
S: Can they possibly be any dumber than the Sookies?
D: Well, on day 2, no one could find the drinking water. Finally someone found it and they voted him out.
S: Bwaaaaaaa!
D: Steph, if the Sookies hut was on fire, would you help put it out?
S: Not unless the local wildlife was in danger. Jed, how could you leave me here with these misfits! Walks off, head in hands, crying uncontrollably. Just another day for Survivor 5 - Thailand.
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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ARRRRRRR!!!!
From the book of Survivor 5:3: Too bad Jed won't win enough money to buy himself a personality.
