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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
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"Gay Idol Journal – Finals Week Two"
TODDLJ 421 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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03-23-05, 07:45 PM (EST)
 
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"Gay Idol Journal – Finals Week Two" |
1. Carrie Underwood
With huge curly ‘pageant hair,’ a black puffy-shouldered sequined jacket over a tight white sequined T, black slacks, and a black satin sash, Carrie was costumed to 80’s glam perfection. Sure it was silly and severe, but it definitely was also sexy. (And you know teenage boys everywhere… and some girls too… were wondering: “How do I get her alone?”) Carrie is willing to make bold, risky choices, and big risks pay off with big gains in my Diva rankings, earning her the honor of Diva of the Week. This week’s lesson: A true Diva will do what it takes to be seen and remembered. You go, girl!2. Nadia Turner
Nadia took big risks this week as well… and was nearly as successful as Carrie. In fact, sartorially, this was a stellar performance. With fitted jeans, a white low-cut silk top with a silver sequined collar and sequined sash, and long silver earrings, she was sexy as ever. Crowning the look was a huge whiplash-inducing Mohawk… a severe funky/edgy risk that paid off big time. (Definitely hard to forget her this week!) But looks alone couldn’t carry her past Carrie this week. Unfortunately, a rather noticeable lyric flub, and a somewhat shaky recovery from it, marred her performance and left her ‘off her game’ for the rest of the (poorly-chosen?) song. A Diva never lets us see her sweat, and in that moment, I could sense the perspiration in the air. 3. Jessica Sierra
I’ve never been a big Jessica fan, and it pains me to rank her this high. But the absolute Diva-treatment she was given this week gives me no other choice. Did you notice the special lighting and camera work they gave her? Yes, folks, she got the trademarked Clay Aiken halo lighting and trademarked Clay Aiken circle-cam. And despite singing a melodramatic power ballad, they had her sing last (a position usually reserved for the best up-tempo number of the night.) I’m willing to overlook the questionable ensemble (a frilly, sheer lavender top with purple sequins and a silly yellow bow) that she apparently ordered from the Victoria’s Secret outlet store. I’m also willing to overlook her severely contrasting platinum highlights and chocolate lowlights. I’m even willing to overlook her lyric flub (instead of singing ‘together we can take it to the end of the line, your love is like a shadow on me all the time,’ she repeats the line ‘don’t know what to do, I’m always in the dark, I’m living in a powder keg and giving off sparks.’) Yes, I’m ignoring my objections and proclaiming her a Diva because the producers apparently want me to, and are methodically forcing her down my throat (which is behavior I typically respond well to.) 4. Anthony Federov
Well, readers of my column already know that Anthony makes my Calvins wet. And I changed undies after this performance too. Perhaps Anthony went to a sleep-over at Ryan’s place, because the whole look smacked of Seacrest to me. In a black Seacrest-inspired printed T, tight blasted bootcut jeans, and a fitted raw-edged grey suit jacket, he was appropriately trendy, metrosexual, and sexy. I even liked the oddly big square silver belt buckle. Now, as for his singing… I really can’t tell you. I wasn’t paying much attention. 5. Bo Bice
Bo knows rock… but does he know style? So far, so good. Frankly, I loved Bo’s latin-inspired multi-colored (and ‘double-crossed’) embroidered shirt, his light blasted jeans, and his pointy brown boots. I also appreciated the fact that his hair looked cleaner and sleeker this week. There aren’t a lot of people who can pull off Mexican-Hippie-Chic, and Bo does it. Now, I challenge him to try something a little classier and more tailored for next week. 6. Constantine Maroulis
Most Improved this week goes to Constantine, who glammed up his rocker edge this week with pleasant results. He looked surprisingly classy in a fitted black pinstripe jacket, black jeans, and a charcoal multi-button Henley… and the long fringed pink striped scarf was an unusual and sexy touch. Most excitingly, he appears to have made an effort to wash and/or style his hair this week, for perhaps the first time in weeks. (Now, if we could just do something about that double chin of his.) 7. Vonzell Solomon
After last weeks elegant, glamorous appearance, this week Vonzell looked like she was about to go jogging rather than appear on television before millions. In a pink cotton tank top, and charcoal cotton culottes, with apparently-intentionally-messy hair, her look was much too casual (not to mention dull as toast.) The sequined belt she threw on was too little too late. A lesson for ‘Baby V:’ when you set the bar high for yourself, the fans expect a win from you every week. Don’t let us down again! 8. Nikko Smith
In theory, Nikko should earn Diva points for his classic, basic-black ensemble. The black fedora, black suit, black trenchcoat, black shirt, and bright blue tie would have been a nice look… if any of the pieces had fit him. Instead, they were all so comically large it looked as if some lazy stylist went to the closet of some big sexy buff model (say Tyson Beckford, for instance) stole a bunch of Tyson’s clothes and put them on Nikko’s scrawny pencil-necked body. Note to Nikko: if there is a body under there, perhaps you should consider showing it to us? 9. Mikalah Gordon
Mikalah looked stiff and uncomfortable in a black strappy top with an oddly large blue and grey sequined butterfly appliqué at the breastbone. Her ridiculous black crepe-y pants were gathered at the calf to reveal black suede pointy boots. The whole look was sort of like what you might find if Wal-Mart had a Taylor Dayne collection. Do I smell Fashion Citation? 10. Anwar Robinson
In an olive drab shirt, tan jacket, jeans, ‘moostache,’ trademark dreads, and brown work boots, Anwar looked like an AWOL member of the Jamaican National Army. The overall look… like the performance, was too casual, uninspired, and dull to be rewarded or remembered. 11. Scott Savol
Earning his second consecutive Fashion Citation is the sartorially-challenged Scott Savol. Looking like a cross between a pimp and Jabba the Hut, Scott wore a black cap, a big white T-shirt, a bigger satin jacket, and comically huge black pants. After he removed his hat, then his glasses, I (like Simon) began to quake in fear that he world remove other clothing items. Thankfully, he did not, and I was able to keep my dinner down.
There are certainly some who will scoff at my use of shallow, surface attributes to judge our Idol Finalists. I say, to those who scoff, they can all kiss my tanned, hairless, Stairmaster-toned a$$. Larry Johnson is a comedy writer, currently working for Disney TV. Look for his weekly commentary from a gay point of view. Please DON’T go to his former website, which shall remain nameless, because it has been usurped by a (gasp!) Straight Porn site.
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callalilly3000 693 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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03-23-05, 10:26 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Gay Idol Journal – Finals Week Two" |
Crowning the look was a huge whiplash-inducing Mohawk… a severe funky/edgy risk that paid off big time.I usually agree with everything you write.. This? NO! It was horrible. I think that it overpowered her entire look, and took away from her performance. I was concentrating more on her hair, than I was her song, but hey I am an almost forty, mother of three. What the heck do I know about fashion? Not much, apparently. 
Slice and Dice Shop 2004
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Wolfgang 6 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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03-28-05, 09:30 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Gay Idol Journal – Finals Week Two" |
That was a good observation, I hadn't considered that... You have to give her some credit, if that was her intent, then she is on her way to stardom, or politics.
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BriarRosie 990 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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03-24-05, 09:03 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: Gay Idol Journal – Finals Week Two" |
Spot on, as usual. I thought Carrie would top the Diva of the Week, too. As for Nadia, I picked up a Jennifer Beals "Flashdance" vibe
with the exposed shoulders, completely 80s. The faux hawk
was fun to see. Jessica's outfit reminded me of a butterfly for some reason.
But I didn't realize the Clay Aiken trademarks until you
pointed them out. Hee hee. And while you have a thing for Anthony, I only think of him
as a boy compared to Bo being a Mah-un. (Said in the cartoony
way with eyes popping out with "ga-OO-gah!" sound effects.) The 80s chick in me loved all those 80s tunes, but Nadia's
vocals disappointed me. 
And I agree that Scott is a scary Jabba.
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batts 1731 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Peanut Festival Grand Marshall"
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03-24-05, 07:21 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Gay Idol Journal – Finals Week Two" |
Great synopsis..... Made my day! 
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