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mylifeisunfolding 39 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 10-21-05, 04:48 PM (EST) "Allison fake" I thought today's episode with Iyanla was very interesting how each woman had to come up with one word from their childhood that had been said or used to identify them. Allison said "FAKE" and Iyanla then made a few comments about how certain words we take them on like we give the word life through our behaviors. Fake hit the nail on the head because I have always found Allison to be fake and her admitting it was a word used in childhood showed how she internalized it and lives it out daily in her experience. Even when she smiles most of the time the smile doesn't really reach her eyes. It's like she tries to make sure she says the "right" thing and she "acts" very sweet and genteel but it's not real. Also last season on several occassions she let the real Allison out. Even this season some of her comments shows beneath the surface of poor sweet Allie.   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Allison fake speechprof 10-21-05 1    RE: Allison fake silverlongjohns 10-21-05 2        RE: Allison fake speechprof 10-21-05 3        RE: Allison fake chaines 10-24-05 18  RE: Allison fake Labyrinth 10-21-05 4    RE: Allison fake sneakpeek 10-21-05 5        RE: Allison fake Cindee 10-22-05 9            RE: Allison fake GunsAndRoses 10-22-05 10            RE: Allison fake Redbud 10-22-05 12    RE: Allison fake Chrystal 10-22-05 14        RE: Allison fake chaines 10-24-05 19  RE: Allison fake Devlynne 10-21-05 6    RE: Allison fake bookwomanblue 10-21-05 7        RE: Allison fake baybe 10-22-05 8        RE: Allison fake jelnova 10-22-05 16            RE: Allison fake LRoyce 10-25-05 21  RE: Allison fake Redbud 10-22-05 11    RE: Allison fake Sharon_L 10-22-05 13  RE: Allison fake Labyrinth 10-22-05 15    RE: Allison fake jbordeaux 10-22-05 17    RE: Allison fake chaines 10-24-05 20

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speechprof 50 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 10-21-05, 04:56 PM (EST) 1. "RE: Allison fake" You know that's an interesting term. I've never really been able to pinpoint just what bugs me about Allison. The word "fake" is very revealing. Don't you think? Her comments both last season and this season about "jealousy" over the other women (last Season Layne, this season over Jill's charisma). Allison started crying during the body language exercise because she wanted to be like Jill--someone who can "attract" others. I don't know about you guys, but authenticity attracts me, not FAKE people. I hope Allison gets that soon!! Enough already.   Top

silverlongjohns 40 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 10-21-05, 05:11 PM (EST) 2. "RE: Allison fake" I don't think she's deliberately being fake. I think she's been groomed that way during her upbringing. She should be helping Jill with her bags because she's carrying as much, if not more than Jill. She needs to rise above the cancer that's ruling her life and that's going to take time. My husband has cancer and during the first months after his initial diagnosis and surgery he pretty much went through what Allison is going through now.   Top

speechprof 50 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 10-21-05, 05:29 PM (EST) 3. "RE: Allison fake" Well, I guess I'll have to respectfully disagree. I do think there's "fakeness" to Allison. She may NOT even realize it herself. And perhaps she learned it as a child. Regardless, she's got to confront that part of herself if she's going to grow. Now don't get me wrong. I don't mean to undermine the challenges she's faced because of the cancer. You're right, cancer and the associated treatment really does a number on the mind and body. If nothing else we should give Allison credit for her strength.   Top

chaines 86 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 10-24-05, 09:02 PM (EST) 18. "RE: Allison fake" Silverlongjohns - I am very sorry to hear about your husband..must be difficult. Allison, however, is cancer free and has had profilactic (sp) surgery to avoid cancer in the future. She does walk around, however, like she has cancer now.   Top

Labyrinth 1248 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 10-21-05, 05:40 PM (EST) 4. "RE: Allison fake" I didn't realize until Lisa's table setting episode that Allison was from the south. It's my experience that the southern way of life teaches women to be fakes --- and to my southern sisters, my entire family comes from Louisiana. There's a "lady" attitude that must be kept up - smile and don't show the tears and let's have tea and be nice and when you leave we'll stab you in the back. We also know from last season that she has a very co-dependent mother and brother - people with addictions and problems who seek Allison to bail them out. I imagine that she is dumped on a lot and has to struggle through pretending that everything is okay - and she plays the matyr to get sympathy (I'm sorry but there is my mother to a tee!).   Top

sneakpeek 120 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 10-21-05, 06:32 PM (EST) 5. "RE: Allison fake" I love Allison, I admire Allison, but now I'm starting to think she is selfish. She wants it all. A great husband, a great body, the perfect little family with the white picket fence, the other girls' life (Layne). We can't all be spoiled little babies and get everything we want. Take what God gave you and run with it. She used to see the glass half full and now she sees it half empty. I think she needs more Dr. Stan time and less Miss Ilanya time.   Top

Cindee 22 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 10-22-05, 11:10 AM (EST) 9. "RE: Allison fake" I agree that Allison is definitely not what she appears to be, and she does want it all, as Sneakpeek put it. Also, and I'm trying to say this NICELY, I don't buy the fact that Allison has such a terrible body image and thinks she's a *fat blob*, etc. and all the other stuff she says. I could understand her being self-conscious about the breast cancer scars and reconstruction, and I definitely sympathize with that, but the FAT and UGLY part I don't believe. If she had such a poor body image, why is Allison such a clothes horse? She has beautiful clothes, is fixed up every single day with makeup and hair, matching outfits, shoes, etc. She always looks good, and she knows it. She has lost weight since last season, but even then she looked nice. I realize she's on TV, but still she is always more dressed up than the other ladies. I think I'm right about this because I'm overweight and as I've gotten older, with wrinkles plus the extra weight, I don't feel like buying clothes and fixing myself up. I don't like the way I look, so I prefer to hang out in sweats and casual type clothes that are more comfortable. I do put on makeup and nicer clothes to go out, but my closet is pretty sparse. I don't mean this in any way to put Allison down as far as what she's gone through with the cancer, that's very serious and I can't imagine how difficult, but somehow the thinking she's FAT and UGLY just doesn't ring true to me.   Top

GunsAndRoses 176 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 10-22-05, 11:16 AM (EST) 10. "RE: Allison fake" LAST EDITED ON 10-22-05 AT 11:17 AM (EST) Maybe she dresses up all the time and wears makeup because she's vain and/or a perfectionist who always wants to look good and tries to overcompensate for the fact that she doesn't measure up to her own standards of beauty that's why she's so obsessed with her body and her scars and that's why she's jealous of anyone who is more attractive than her. JMO   Top

Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 10-22-05, 11:29 AM (EST) 12. "RE: Allison fake" and I >definitely sympathize with that, but >the FAT and UGLY part >I don't believe. If >she had such a poor >body image, why is Allison >such a clothes horse? Could it be that she is trying to overcome her perception of herself and by trying to dress nice she is trying to compensate for the "fat and blob" belief she has about herself? I would liken it to an anoxeric who is at a perfect weight but sees themselves as being fat. That is not the realistic view we all see, but for them it's their reality. Just a thought....   Top

Chrystal 15 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 10-22-05, 06:16 PM (EST) 14. "RE: Allison fake" I agree. Women from the South are trained that way. As a Northner who has a Kentuckian mother and West Virginian grandmother, I grew up seeing the differences in how Southern women act vs. Northern women. It is a cultural difference, one of many, many, many, between North and South. When Allison starts getting on your nerves, just try to remember that, "y'all".   Top

chaines 86 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 10-24-05, 09:07 PM (EST) 19. "RE: Allison fake" I would never begin to know what it is like growing up in the south, however, I'm a California girl and I'll tell ya..There is no harder a place to grow up than in SoCal. Especially, the beach area, where every third woman on the strand HASN'T had a boob job. Talk about distorted body image.   Top

Devlynne 154 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 10-21-05, 06:50 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Allison fake" LAST EDITED ON 10-21-05 AT 07:25 PM (EST) Posted by mylifeisunfolding: >I thought today's episode with Iyanla >was very interesting how each >woman had to come up >with one word from their >childhood that had been said >or used to identify them. I am really interested in Iyanla's group work from today. I know the women came up with a one word identifier that they'd carried with them from their childhood, then they were to think about what they thought they really needed to hear. She followed up by telling them to write about the role of words in their life and how the words had manifested themselves. I missed what the questions were that Iyanla told them to ask themselves about the words, did anyone happen to catch that part?   Top

bookwomanblue 205 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 10-21-05, 07:15 PM (EST) 7. "RE: Allison fake" I don't remember all the details, but wasn't Allison's father an alcoholic and/or an abuser? She referenced it today when she talked about her father being so sweet when he wasn't "raging." Didn't she talk about how she had to put on a "face" growing up in order to survive? I think that is where the phoniness came from. Children of alcoholics and abuse victims often learn to be good liars and manipulators and fake.......to get through the day!   Top

baybe 22 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 10-22-05, 01:52 AM (EST) 8. "RE: Allison fake" Allison sits on her emotions and everybody elses. I am surprised anyone gets any work done and she is always trying to help people with their assignments. How many times does this happen and they say something to the person and not to Allison. In the old shows they would have called Allison on her behavior also. The interaction between the women has changed. Maybe the fact that I am married to a man that changes the subject ever time anything unpleasant comes up may make this seem bigger to me than to the general public! They all seem lost this season. Noone is talking to each other from the heart it's all in the head.   Top

jelnova 30 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 10-22-05, 08:33 PM (EST) 16. "RE: Allison fake" > Children of alcoholics >and abuse victims often learn >to be good liars and >manipulators and fake.......to get through >the day! There's an excellent book called Perfect Daughters that has a chapter on that. In fact in a family one member can take on the joker role, one takes on the ace role (always perfect), one takes on the scapegoat role... all to keep the family from having to face the alcoholism. I recommend the book to anyone who has to deal with an adult child of an alcoholic, or is in that spot themselves. The companion book is Silent Sons, and both are by Robert Ackerman.   Top

LRoyce 35 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 10-25-05, 10:40 AM (EST) 21. "RE: Allison fake" Thanks for the tip about the books; a friend just took custody of her grandchild and there were drugs and alcohol involved. I will pass on your recommendation to her and I know she will read the books.   Top

Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 10-22-05, 11:25 AM (EST) 11. "RE: Allison fake" I wonder how much of Allison's "fakeness" is about being southern, and how much is attached to her insecurity. I know many a southern gal who is sweetness and light on the outside - it's part of the way they do things.... I still feel bad for her.   Top

Sharon_L 260 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 10-22-05, 12:06 PM (EST) 13. "RE: Allison fake" I feel Allison is about the least 'fake' of any of the hg's. What I see is that she is grasping for an issue she really believes is legit and can buy into. As for her negative body image I don't find that at all unique in women. In fact, it's more the norm, than not, even within women who are considered fit and beautiful. But I do see a lot of fake issues on SOH. Too bad Allison decided to return is all I can say.   Top

Labyrinth 1248 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 10-22-05, 07:58 PM (EST) 15. "RE: Allison fake" I really don't have many issues with Allison. However, maybe the problems people are having with her this season is because she is not developing - she's not getting it - you see her stuck in the same old rut. If she was having some "aha" moments and changing herself maybe we could put up with her better (?) Even before the cancer there was no guarantee that Allison was going to find a man and have biological children. Actually, there's stastics out there that states a woman over 34 who has not married has a very SMALL chance of getting married. Allison needs to accept that this is a FACT of her life now and her, and the LC's stop equating that a happy future means a man and children. For a woman who has had a hysterectomy and the breasts removed and rebuilt I can only imagine that she feels less then a woman - unfortunately I've heard this too many times from women who equate their abiltiy to reproduce as their feminity (and no I don't believe that makes me female or womanly or whatever).   Top

jbordeaux 121 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 10-22-05, 09:56 PM (EST) 17. "RE: Allison fake" I agree with you Labyrinth, but couple that with the southern upbringing, and we end up with a mess! I too was raised by southern parents. I was born in alabama, but raised in california, and let me tell you, what I learned at home compared to just watching and learning were two different thing! I was taught to ALWAYS be a lady, and on the other hand being groomed from kindergarden on up with Northern ideas, I knew to speak my mind and demand my respect. Now toss in allison cancer, Whew, she has had everything female removed from her. My heart really goes out to her. It is hard to say to yourself, t forget everthing that you have been raised with, and embrace the new. let's try to give her a chance to figure out all this stuff and incorporate it   Top

chaines 86 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 10-24-05, 09:09 PM (EST) 20. "RE: Allison fake" Thank you Labyrinth for the stats on marriage.   Top

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