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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Jessica....Enough Already!!!"
Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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10-21-05, 01:57 PM (EST)
 
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"Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I'll probably receive some nasty posts for this...but....I have really had enough of Jessica. She cries non-stop and acts as though she is the only one to have ever lost a parent. Is it somehow more significant that her mom passed in 9-11? I don't think so. Many many people have lost their parents over tragic and violent circumstances. I'd rather perish in a plane crash than be strangled, raped, violated and tortured by an "ex" or serial killer, or waste away from a disease. Yet Jessica carries on as though somehow her hurt is special and knows no bounds. My neighbor lost her mom to breast cancer, watching her waste away, she didn't get millions of dollars and free college tuition for it live 9/11 survivors did. And for the poster who said these people aren't driving around in rolls royces, I beg to differ. It may not be a rolls, but someone in our old neighborhood got plenty of money when her husband died in 9/11 and went out and bought a huge new house and car. Her own children didn't want to move, and leave the house that their daddy lived in with them, but she wanted something even bigger (and for one less person to live in). I have not lost a parent so I don't pretend to know how painful the hurt is. But Jessica can't complain how exploited her mom's death was, when she let the media in to follow them around, and now she is on television complaining about that!
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GreenSideUp 274 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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10-21-05, 02:00 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Be patient. Because of how she has walled herself up these past four years, it's as if she just lost her mother.
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ShayShay1981 70 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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10-21-05, 02:09 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I agree with you GreenSideUp. I think Jessica will get better. I think she does have a very sad story, and I understand why she cries all the time. I think she will be able to break down those barriers soon. She is making improvements. The Anger assignment was a HUGE breakthrough for her.
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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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10-21-05, 02:11 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Honestly,I do get that part of it, and I realize she is just now "working" on it, so it's all kinda up in her face. It's hard to feel sorry for her when every single task she has, every conversation, every interation with another, becomes a full blown crying jag. I think she has more issues than the loss of her mom. And, I don't think she is the caring, concerned, nurturer she thinks she is. She sure jumped all over TJ at the pool, and, she made that snide remark about someone getting dressed up for Lisa's dinner party. Their personal hurt is just as important to them...where's the compassion?
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livingston 21 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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10-21-05, 02:19 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
BTW Redbud, I know it would be a blast to watch the show with you!!!!! It seems that you catch and see things that I do!!!!
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livingston 21 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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10-21-05, 02:14 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
WOW! This is definetly your opinion, and I have to say that "I'm with you on this! My mother and I were discussing Jessica's thoughts on the way her mother died. My mom feels for her so much because she lost her mother, my "NANA" to cancer awhile ago and still can bearly move on. You were right on point about the way in which a person can die!!! My mom said that people should have asked "ABOUT" Jessica's mother instead of telling her that she was a "HERO"? or only say that you are very, very sorry for the loss and that's it! What do you think?
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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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10-21-05, 02:20 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I am totally clueless about what the "proper" thing to say or do would be. I guess I would just ask them to tell me about their mom/daughter/etc and what they were like as a person.
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sneakpeek 120 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-21-05, 02:33 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Sometimes I feel the way you do. It's just too much emotion after all this time. However, we can't really judge anyone's feelings. I do think that she has way more problems than just the death of her mom. I think she blames everything on the fact that her mom died in 9/ll. And, I get the impression that she fought a lot with her mother, her brother, her dad and her sister. She has a nasty side to her that we only see little bits of.
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ochooker 96 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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10-21-05, 09:43 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Depression is a hidden form of anger....I know...I was a raging be-yatch and also cried a lot (but tried to refrain in public to potray what I thoght was "strength.") She is depressed and with that comes emotions of anger, jealousy, I got on Paxil and it supressed all the negative emotions, maybe a few positive here and there but when I look back I would trade sex dysfunction for paranoia anyday....I can think again without being antsy, b!tchy or tear-stained!
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LRoyce 35 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-21-05, 10:47 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Are we watching the same show? Jessica is on the brink of discovering that the pain she has bottled up relates to herself for not going on the plane when she had promised to go (so her Mother ended up dying alone), for the last conversation (a negative one) she had with her Mother the day before she was MURDERED, and for not forgiving her Father for moving on. When she breaks through on this she can begin to cry for the loss of her Mother and begin to move on. Until then, she is focused on all the real things about 9/11 and the world's response that are wrong and stupid; until then she only knows she is in deep pain and it must be from her Mother's death as that is when it began. She seems very close to resolution. Enough already? No, more and more and more until she sees the source of her pain.
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LRoyce 35 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-22-05, 08:28 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I am not Rhonda or any trained therapist; I am a 70 year old woman who has lived a very full life and been the witness of many different struggles, failures and successes, partial and complete, some my own even. My comment about the world was not really political, just a reflection of the way the media and too many people twist and use facts to make a statement or evoke a response. For example, Jessica's reaction to being told over and over that her Mother died a hero. A Hero? Oh, did she volunteer to give her life? Was she in a uniform fighting for her country or for her family? No, she was murdered; it's as simple as that. But the world (whether people or press) use it as they will. That is all I meant. (It also makes me think of that time when Siamese twins were being separated and one died; the press said that the one gave her life to save her sister. Another hero? I am not saying it was wrong to try to give them a chance at a normal life, just that we must stop coloring facts by how we describe them. And the whole world seems to be busy coloring lately, making us all more stupid about everything. Don't you just love having film star relationships given to us as news? Not entertainment but NEWS. It is my opinion that the world has gone stupid.) As to her tears, I honestly believe they are not in her control. Until she discovers that her tears are not for her Mother per se, she will continue to cry. When she gets over the wall of her self-hate and anger, she will have one really good cry and then be free to grieve for her Mother and get it done.
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baybe 22 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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10-22-05, 00:51 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Sometimes I think Jessica gets a free ride because noone knows how to deal with death. I caught the remark about getting dressed up and I wasn't thrilled with her tearing into TJ when she said the first thing she would try to do was call her mother and go get her. What happened to the open conversation and feedback from each other part of the show. It used to be kind of organic, now it's like a house of people doing individual therapy. Can't put my finger on whether it is since Dr. Stan or Iyanla. Seems like noone is allowed to talk anymore.
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lvgal 4 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-22-05, 00:56 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Redbud,I agree with your post. I, too, was so sick of Jessica turning every single thing into a crying jag over her loss. Now, I'm not discounting her loss at all, but she does need to move on. I get the feeling that she's very spoiled and does have a dark side. Having said that, I am starting to feel more empathy...especially after watching the brick episode. This isn't all about her mother, it's about the whole 9/11 situation. I was very moved when she said that she was angry that the 9/11 tragedy was used to promote war and her mother was a woman of peace. I think Ronda is the perfect person to guide her through this because of her own life's experience dealing with the death of her parents. And, you're right, Jessica is not the only person to lose a parent. When they asked her to present a picture of her mother as a person, she was able to do that because she was old enough to actually know her mother as a person. Some of us were not that lucky... From my own experience...losing your mother leaves a hole in your heart that can never be filled. But, it happens. Life has to go on. I just hope that she can move on from her mother's death...not forget it...just learn to live with it...so that she can get on with her own life. Until she does learn to live with the reality of her mother's death, she's going to wallow around in self pity forever.
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Chrystal 15 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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10-22-05, 06:03 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Right ON!!!! I am BEYOND sick of her. I don't know about anyone else, but I keep having Rachael flashbacks when Jessica's on. I couldn't STAND Rachael (I thought she was nothing but a whiny bully, esp. in how she treated Renee, and not to mention Iyanla let her get away with being lazy in her assignments.) I feel like I'm watching Rachael allover again. They should have had a woman on there who lost a child or husband or father in 9/11 instead. Thank you so much for being pissed too. It's an old issue-move on to a woman with a new one!
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GreenSideUp 274 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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10-22-05, 06:52 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Oy, I don't know if we should think of 9/11 as an "old issue". It's the event that proved to us that bad people are watching every minute for a chance to kill us all.
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LeAnn 28 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-23-05, 00:37 AM (EST)
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21. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I know Jessica cries a lot. Why does it matter if they had a woman who losts their child or husband, loss is loss. I feel you are very insensitive. Renee was very rude to Racheal and I do not agree with you at all abut IV letting Racheal be lazy with her asignments. This is not a old issue. She losts her mother not a dog. This was attack on everyone Wake UP! When you lose your mother it is like losing a piece of your heart and every one tells you to move on and you try but it take a while and everyone deals differently. If you don't like it when she cries or you if you are tired of her quit watching the show when she is on, its that simple!
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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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10-23-05, 09:54 AM (EST)
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23. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
No offense LeAnn, but if you don't agree with someone it's not necessary to call them names or be judgmental. As for your suggestion about not watching Jessica when she's on the tv, I whole heartedly agree - I simply fastforward over her segments (although I did watch her play)where she's in consultation with the LC or on a task. Having TiVo is great!! For anyone else not able to do that, Jessica's screen time might be a good time to hit the bathroom or grab a snack!
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JacksMama 8 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-22-05, 06:54 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Here's my thing ... Totally off the point of the show, but the dimples really really bother me! That is why I am starting to not watch her!
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GreenSideUp 274 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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10-22-05, 07:05 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Oh, I love the dimples. I think she is just the cutest little hobbitt woman.
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Imn2pt 15 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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10-23-05, 02:25 AM (EST)
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22. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I noticed also that Jessica tends to cry A LOT but what really bothers me about it, and with the other women when they cry as well, that they need to keep a steady supply of tissues!! It makes me sick to see tears and snot running down their face and they keep wiping their face with their hand or the back of their sleeve. Is it too much to ask to be prepared with more than one little ball of tissue??
call me nit picky.
Jane
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GreenSideUp 274 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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10-23-05, 10:59 AM (EST)
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24. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I have a theory that they have been told not to cover their faces or use a lot of tissue when they cry, and that the Life Coaches remind them of it.
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LeAnn 28 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-23-05, 04:12 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I don't agree. I know on the last season they had tissue handy.I have seen them cover their faces. This is reality tv so it would make seanse for them to cry a great deal or show a lot of emotion.
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Suki Suki Now 34 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-24-05, 07:48 PM (EST)
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38. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
>I have a theory that they
>have been told not to
>cover their faces or use
>a lot of tissue when
>they cry, and that the
>Life Coaches remind them of
>it. I've got my own Kleenex Conspiracy Theory. 
In counselling I was a "caregiver," e.g. when someone was crying I'd try to hug, give tissue, say something comforting etc.. Counsellors really harshly told me to stop it. Why? Because: a) They have to learn how to ask for the Kleenex themselves (or hug, or whatever); and b) If I was fussing with Kleenex for them, I was really distracting myself from dealing with my own feelings about the issue. Has anyone else had a similar experience?
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ChristinaJB 158 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-23-05, 03:47 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I completely respect your opinion, however I disagree. I lost my mom suddenly, unexpectedly to suicide. A sudden death like that has an impact on a person in so many different ways. If she is JUST NOW dealing with the pain, that is why she has the tears and the strong emotions. Grief comes over you like waves on the ocean and just when you think you are doing better, you can be hit by a big one!
Jessica is not perfect - maybe she is a brat, or gasp - even worse! I guess what I see is a human being in so much pain. I can feel how she aches to 'make it right' with her mom and how much she misses her. We all have regrets, issues and problems...she is showing us hers to heal herself and to hopefully help someone else out there.
PS - I love her dimples - sorry!
Be kind to each other, my goodness!
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LeAnn 28 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-23-05, 04:10 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I agree with you! Everyone is deals with loss differently and she cries a great deal, but that is her! I am one that cries too. I love her dimples too, I just wish they had tissue handy when they are crying.
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Sharon_L 260 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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10-23-05, 04:27 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I'm very sorry about your mom. I respect your opinion, as well, regarding Jessica. It's interesting to me to read opposing viewpoints. Jessica has been handled with the greatest of care on SOH and aside from Lisa she doesn't appear to me as making much headway. Let's say they decided to give Jessica one bag labeled, GRIEF, equal to the weight and volume of Jill's several bags. Have her drag it everywhere she goes, including up the stairs. Do you think that exercise would help her face the loss of her mother? or, do you think these exercises helped? The role-playing exercise -- touching but too staged
Bricks, written on then angrily thrown -- well, Rhonda enjoyed it, that I know. But think about it. Jill, the least physically fit gets a workout every minute of her waking hours and the rest are laying about gossiping. Nope, not right.
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LeAnn 28 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-23-05, 04:35 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I do agree with you. I feel that they all gossip. That is what all woman do seems like it. I think it the brick thing did help jessica. Lisa needs to go home in my opinion. The others are in for a wake up call I think next week.
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Sharon_L 260 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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10-23-05, 04:57 PM (EST)
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32. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
oops..just to clarify, what I meant was -next to Lisa-, Jessica has made the least progress. lol@myself and yes, hopefully, the wake up call does indeed send Lisa either home or willing to drop the act.
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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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10-23-05, 05:39 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
ChristinaJB, as I have not suffered the loss of a loved one, I defer to those of you who have been through such a hurtful event. That being said, it does seem to me that Jessica wants everyone to feel sorry for her, and she is thriving on Rhonda's attention. How can she then have no compassion for the others? She was very self righteous with TJ at the pool, and I thought it was totally inappropriate. TJ tends to speak without thinking first, and they all know it. Was what she said hurtful, apparently. Did she deserve Jessica's indignant tongue lashing...definitely not. And Jessica's catty comment to Allison about getting dressed for Lisa's dinner party was mean. For someone who wants everyone to feel sorry for her, where's her compassion for the others? BTW, has it ever been discussed what financial settlement Jessica's family got from the 9/11 Fund or any other fund?
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babydoll12381 2 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-23-05, 11:00 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I think that Jessica has had a horrible thing happen to her and you obviously have never lost someone dear to you in a tragic way. For your sake I hope you dont. She is trying to grieve for her mom and she has had things bottle up inside for so long that it hit her like a bus when things finaly came out.
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chaines 86 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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10-24-05, 07:05 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Redbud - Kudos,
You don't have to lose a loved one to know what grieving is all about. Many people lose loved ones in a multitude of ways, the defining difference IMO is that Jessicas mother was murdered in a very public manner, made to make a point. That being said, however, enough already with the whining and the tears. They haven't ever mentioned the financial settlement that her family received, nor have they mentioned the therapy that was given to her family as a result of this tragedy. There has not been any other single defining tragic event that the whole country rallied around like that of 9/11. Not even Katrina or Rita, which, by the way, affected hundreds of thousands more than 9/11. Yet, somehow 9/11 is still brought to the forefront of conversation every time we speak of the war, our president brings up 9/11 every chance he gets, and many are still garnering sympathy because of this tragedy. I think 9/11 is Jessicas only defining trait in her life......"Girl 16, loses mother in plane crash". I am not insensitive to her loss, however, we all suffer loss and tragedy in our lives, shouldn't we be more interested in what she does with this loss, that how she keeps living it? When we lose a loved one, no matter how it occurs, it is no less valid because it didn't happen in a national tragedy. I think it's time for Jessica to put up or shut up (preferably shut up) because she is about the most insensitive person on the show.
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LRoyce 35 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-24-05, 07:45 PM (EST)
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37. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
"She (Jessica) is about the most insensitive person on the show." Absolutely, and that is the core of her problem. IMO, she can't feel because she has blocked herself since she can't deal with her feelings about her actions just before her Mother was murdered. I don't believe she has yet really grieved about her Mother. And she certainly can't really see anyone else's pain at this point. But I think she has a quality of compassion that is waiting to be released. Do you remember how 'cold' Andy appeared on the first show? And once she was able to see her problems, she was able to show her wonderful compassionate nature.
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nikkidemus 186 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-24-05, 11:25 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I AGREE THAT JESSICA IS THE MOST INSENSITIVE PERSON ON THE SHOW. I STOOD UP FOR HER IN THE BEGINNING BUT AS TIME HAS GONE BY I REALIZE JUST HOW HURTFUL AND MEAN SHE CAN BE. I THINK SHES A SNOB AND A BE-ACH AND IF I WERE IN THE HOUSE WITH HER I WOULD NOT WANT TO BE HER FRIEND. ASIDE FROM THAT, I DO FEEL THAT THE LOSS OF HER MOTHER AND THE PROBLEMS SHE IS SUFFERING FROM ARE VERY GENUINE AND I HOPE SHE CAN COME TO TERMS WITH IT ALL. I JUST DONT THINK SHES A VERY KIND OR FRIENDLY PERSON.
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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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10-24-05, 08:21 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
If you're talking to me (the writer of the original post) I already said I had not lost anyone dear to me. However, I still stand by my statement about Jessica and her pity parties. I cannot understand how she feels the country has exploited her mother's death when SHE's the one who brought in the media, and she's the one on TV right now. Did we single out her mother for something special? Nevertheless, today was the first episode ever where we saw her on screen and she did NOT cry once! Maybe she's making progress.
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LRoyce 35 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-24-05, 10:18 PM (EST)
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44. "RE: Such caring people on these boards" |
SUKI SUKI: Since depression often is self-hate (at least so I have read) it would seem that once she really sees why she is so mad at herself, her depression will lift enough for her to take the help that is being offered. I have always thought that the hardest part of SO is when you have to leave the atmosphere of such focus and intensity and take yourself and your half solved problems back into the ordinary world. I imagine that many of them do stay in touch with the LCs and their fellow HGs in order to sustain their possibility for growth. Like you, I tend to be stoical but I came to learn that much of that was a fear of facing the real issues, that it was hiding and not coping. I am not saying that is true for you but I found it true for me. SO really helps me to cry and let it out and for that I am very grateful.
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LRoyce 35 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-24-05, 11:12 PM (EST)
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46. "RE: Such caring people on these boards" |
SUKI SUKI: "It is hard to strike that balance between giving oneself the right to feel sadness, and giving in to it." Beautifully said and something to learn by practice I guess.
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ChristinaJB 158 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-24-05, 08:25 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I am soo sorry for your loss too Suki - I can't imagine it. Loss of parents is so incredibly hard too. My thoughts are with you...
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LeAnn 28 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-25-05, 03:35 AM (EST)
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48. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
LAST EDITED ON 10-25-05 AT 03:37 AM (EST) I losts my mother 7 months ago. She had cancer. I understand loss. I no that we are sad for oursleves,but when I think of my mom I also feel so sad for her cause she fought so hard for 6 years and believed in her heart that she would be healed. It just kept coming back tho. I have 2 older sisters and 1 younger and I am sad for all three of them. My little sister is only 11 and I just cant imagine the pain she is going through at 11. I know life is not fare and someway we must try to move on from that loss,but it gets really old when people keep telling you that, not that I am saying any of you are saying this. I get so tired of people saying that they would love to know Allison because she seems like amazing person, but is that because she had cancer and survived it, I can only wonder that is why. Jessicas story is sad, why does it matter how much money she got, no amount of money will bring her mother back. Yes she invited the media and has said some things that make me think if she is genuine but her tears are real and it makes me sad for he and everyone who has losts someone dear to them. I guess I am venting I don't know. I know one thing that is true my mother was amazing not because she had cancer or because she died fighting cancer but she was amazing for the person who she was to me and so many other person. I feel that Jessica needs to quit foucsing on how her mother died, but that the fact that her mother is dead and never coming back that is what I am having to do for my recovery, it does not matter how my mom died, she was my mom the number 1 person in my life and she is gone from this world forever and I will never get her back until I die. I hope someday Jessica will realyize yess 911 was a horiable thing and it was say that her mother died that way but every one has losts and not lost is greater than another loss. I think I have rambled enough sorry.
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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
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10-25-05, 10:21 AM (EST)
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49. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Yes, Jessica's story is sad. Why does it matter how much money she got you ask? Too long to explain, but just let me say that many women have lost their mother in equally painful ways and they didn't get one red cent. So if she got money, she needs to be thankful for that and stop bashing the country that "used her mother's death for politics", it's the same country that gave her that money. Now I don't know if she got any money or not. But Oprah had a woman on her show yesterday who received 5 million for the loss of her husband at 9/11. My ex-neighbor lost her husband and got several million as well. Sorry, but I have a hard time feeling sorry for her too. My sympathies are more reserved for the child who nursed and watched their parent waste away, or, a child who lost their mother to violence, etc. Just my opinion...
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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
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10-25-05, 11:45 AM (EST)
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52. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
>>But Oprah had a
>>woman on her show yesterday
>>who received 5 million for
>>the loss of her husband
>>at 9/11. My ex-neighbor lost
>>her husband and got several
>>million as well. Sorry,
>>but I have a hard
>>time feeling sorry for her
>>too.
>
>If I recall, the woman on
>Oprah said she felt lied
>to and betrayed by the
>government that gave her those
>millions, and wishes she'd never
>taken the money and agreed
>not to sue. She felt
>like she was paid off
>for her silence, and now
>realizes how many rights she
>signed away. Just for the
>record. How easy it is to say now, after buying $1,200 handbags, and $4,000 designer dresses that she wishes she'd never taken the money. I don't remember her saying she established a scholarship fund or charitable organization in her husband's name. She seemed like she felt entitled to that money. For what? I do remember her being upset that her husband and the rest were not being given a proper memorial at the site, but I don't understand how her receiving 5 million bought her silence. She's on national tv complaining about it...not very silent to me.
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rookwood 350 desperate attention whore postings
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10-25-05, 12:03 PM (EST)
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54. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
>How easy it is to say
>now, after buying $1,200 handbags,
>and $4,000 designer dresses that
>she wishes she'd never taken
>the money. I don't
>remember her saying she established
>a scholarship fund or charitable
>organization in her husband's name.
> She seemed like she
>felt entitled to that money. At the time, she might've well felt she was intitled to the money. Now she sees that it has not brought her happiness, closure, or a sense of satisfaction or relief. >I do
>remember her being upset that
>her husband and the rest
>were not being given a
>proper memorial at the site,
>but I don't understand how
>her receiving 5 million bought
>her silence. A condition of her accepting the money was she agreed never to sue or otherwise challenge the federal government (or any other mitigating agency, I believe - could be wrong about that) about how they handled the situation on 9/11. >She's on
>national tv complaining about it...not
>very silent to me. Not very silent, but not very effective, either. She can complain all the wants, but that still doesn't change the fact that she signed over her legal rights to challenge certain decisions made. That said (and then I'll stop this threadjack!), I sensed that woman was pretty materialistic before losing her husband - that only increased when she got all that dough. I don't think Oprah or the therapist got through to her, though - she seemed determined to "fight" for the rest of her life for her husband to have some "respect" and "dignity," but she's still neglecting her kids by not being there emotionally for them, since she's not emotionally available to them, so wrapped up as she is in her own grief and who knows what sort of conflicting emotions.
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sandrad_c 4 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-25-05, 11:07 AM (EST)
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51. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
To listen to Jessica is very tiring to say the least. She takes one step forward and 6 steps back on her road to recovery. Re: The money issue, I've never felt it was the thing to do...give all the remaining loved ones a big wad. Our military men have been getting killed in action over the ages and I don't know of a single instance when their widows, children or parents are presented with multiple millions as a result. I'm not speaking off the top of my head either. I've been a military brat and spouse since age two. I am now 57. Something is very wrong in a country that rewards the families of dead airline passengers with millions. The fact remains, you didn't see Jessica and her family members, or the woman on Oprah yesterday, and many others, refusing the millions when offered, did you? Dry those tears, Jessica, and move on.
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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
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10-25-05, 11:57 AM (EST)
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53. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
>To listen to Jessica is very
>tiring to say the least.
>She takes one step forward
>and 6 steps back on
>her road to recovery. Re:
>The money issue, I've never
>felt it was the thing
>to do...give all the remaining
>loved ones a big wad.
>Our military men have been
>getting killed in action over
>the ages and I don't
>know of a single instance
>when their widows, children or
>parents are presented with multiple
>millions as a result. I'm
>not speaking off the top
>of my head either. I've
>been a military brat and
>spouse since age two. I
>am now 57. Something is
>very wrong in a country
>that rewards the families of
>dead airline passengers with millions.
>The fact remains, you didn't
>see Jessica and her family
>members, or the woman on
>Oprah yesterday, and many others,
>refusing the millions when offered,
>did you? Dry those
>tears, Jessica, and move on.
>Oh SandraD, I could not possibly agree with you more! What made the family of those people who died worthy of millions simply because their loved one was at work, or on a plane. Such an injustice! Did Jessican refuse her money? I doubt it.
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LeAnn 28 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-25-05, 02:22 PM (EST)
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56. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I agree with you! Why does it matter that they got money! Its not our business! My goodness these people were murder and you can keep giving money forever and their families will still feel the pain. I dont understand why people are more focused on media and money. I have lost a parent and it has been the most horiable thing that has happened to me ever. My heart will never be the same.
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rookwood 350 desperate attention whore postings
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10-26-05, 09:38 AM (EST)
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61. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
>I think that
>contrary to what she says
>about grieving in private she
>really wants to grieve with
>everyone watching her. I do think it's slightly ironic that Jess went on national tv to learn to grieve privately. >Can you
>explain to me why she
>left the table crying when
>Allison suggested a moment of
>silence for everyone who died
>at Ground Zero? Maybe. I felt she did not have the words to tell Allison why she was upset, so she left to compose herself and call Rhonda to get some help. I thought that was an appropriate thing for her to do. Even Jessica
>said it was because she
>wanted it to be about
>her and only her.
>That's the real issue. I'm sure Jess is sick to death of hearing about 9/11 and Ground Zero, and that night WAS supposed to be about HER PRIVATE LOSS, not the thousands who died and their loved ones. Allison assumed something she shouldn't have, because she was being dramatic again and coachy and so forth (when she referred to that pile of rocks by the pool as Ground Zero, I nearly lost my lunch - PLEASE), and not really considering Jess's needs (which I do admit Jess needs to work on expressing more clearly, no doubt).
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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
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10-25-05, 02:29 PM (EST)
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57. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
In my prior posts I have always stated I have not lost a parent. I expect someday I will. That being stated, I do have a problem with the money 9/11 families received. But that is a separate issue. Jessica keeps saying she wants to have an intimate grieving period for her and her mother, and it seems what she really wants is for everyone to be involved in her process. She wants the attention to her grieving. At dinner she starting crying and left the table when Allison suggested a minute of silence at the stone/rubble pile. Why? Because as Jessica explained to TJ, she wanted it to be all about HER, not 9/11. In my mind that just solidifes my feelings about her. Why couldn't she join in with the minute of silence and then, present her privat box of memorial to her mom? And, why did it have to be in front of everyone. Why was it "ruined" because Allison suggested a minute of silence in respect for everyone who perished? I think she's jealous of the attention 9/11 gets and she feels cheated her mother wasn't treated special. In my opinion that's the issue she should be addressing. She has more work to do....
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StartingOverGirl 48 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-26-05, 10:18 AM (EST)
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64. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
>I'll probably receive some nasty posts
>for this...but....I have really had
>enough of Jessica. She
>cries non-stop and acts as
>though she is the only
>one to have ever lost
>a parent. Is it
>somehow more significant that her
>mom passed in 9-11? I
>don't think so. Many
>many people have lost their
>parents over tragic and violent
>circumstances. I'd rather perish in
>a plane crash than be
>strangled, raped, violated and tortured
>by an "ex" or serial
>killer, or waste away from
>a disease. Yet Jessica
>carries on as though somehow
>her hurt is special and
>knows no bounds. My
>neighbor lost her mom to
>breast cancer, watching her waste
>away, she didn't get millions
>of dollars and free college
>tuition for it live 9/11
>survivors did. And for
>the poster who said these
>people aren't driving around in
>rolls royces, I beg to
>differ. It may not
>be a rolls, but someone
>in our old neighborhood got
>plenty of money when her
>husband died in 9/11 and
>went out and bought a
>huge new house and car.
> Her own children didn't
>want to move, and leave
>the house that their daddy
>lived in with them, but
>she wanted something even bigger
>(and for one less person
>to live in).
>I have not lost a
>parent so I don't pretend
>to know how painful the
>hurt is. But Jessica
>can't complain how exploited her
>mom's death was, when she
>let the media in to
>follow them around, and now
>she is on television complaining
>about that! I totally agree with you! I was just saying yesterday that I am so sick of her crying. I understand that she lost her mother and she misses her terribly, but crying every time she's mentioned is a bit much. I'll be so glad when she comes to terms with her mother's death.
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MsNewYork 1 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-26-05, 12:54 PM (EST)
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65. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I've had an opportunity to read a number of responses on this topic. Jessica annoys me too, however, I live in New York and I can understand what she's going through. I do agree with the response posted that Jessica's tears and grief go beyond her mother's death, possibly she's feeling guilty because she didn't have a good relationship with her mother and her issues are much deeper. It seems to me like Jessica tried to play a good game of denial and act like it never happened, never truly acknowledging that your mom actually passed away. However, when you live in New York it's virtually impossible to do that. When you walk through the subways you see armed officers, military men stationed all around the subways and Grand Central Station like we are in some war torn country. Even in the suburbs, such as White Plains, there have been army men stationed with rifles who appear to be ready to shoot at any given notice of a threat. This is scary, but what's scarier is that seeing these things and wondering how we can live in a world where we may not even be safe taking the train to work is a reminder. It's a constant reminder of the threats that target our freedom and more importantly a reminder of 9/11. Each time I am in the city at work and I see a fleet of black surburbans racing through the city streets, I ask myself has there been another attack. Now, Jessica lives in Hoboken, NJ that's so close to New York, not even a half hour ride from NYC. Also think about it, Jessica works in Manhattan. I'm not sure if she takes the bus into the city or if she takes the NJ Path train into the city, however, if she's taking the Path train certain Path trains pass by the World Trade Center or stop at the World trade Center. If she works in the Financial District that is very very close to the World Trade Center. I didn't have anyone close to me who died in the tragedy, however I did go to school in that area and until the WTC was hit I didn't realize the impact of those twin towers or what it symbolized to the world. The WTC was a place where my classmates could go and get a quick bite to eat when everything else was close at night, where we could go to Duane Reade and get some quick personal items; there was a mall inside of the WTC, so you could do shopping there as well, and if you wanted to save $ and do some tax free shopping all you had to do was go to the WTC take the NJ Path train and after a few stops you were at the Newport mall. New Jersey and New York are very interconnected. For Jessica to be on the show she must've been on the verge of a nervous breakdown, because if she's coming into the city from her part of Jersey, she's reminded of the WTC tragedy on a daily basis, so trying to suppress those feelings and emotions would be hard to do in my opinion. I don't know how she did it for so long, and then think of about it. When you grieve shouldn't it be personal and private. Jessica and her family didn't have a chance to do that because the media was constantly at their home, so I can understand how she feels in that respect.
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NicNac 131 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-26-05, 01:14 PM (EST)
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66. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I think Jessicas family should have used some of the money for extensive grief counseling and therapy for her. Why in the world would she agree to go on a reality show if personal, private grieving is what she wanted.
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Kris52505 89 desperate attention whore postings
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10-26-05, 01:41 PM (EST)
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68. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I feel very sorry for her. I could not imagine losing my mother. Some people deal with things in their own way. I don't think she is trying to get attention. She cries alot because she is the only one in the house that actually has an issue and reason for being there besides Ally. Jessica's issue is so real and a very hard thing to deal with. She hasn't been able to grieve or honor her mother at all since this happened. Her issue is a devestating one that I wouldn't be able to deal with either. Some people it just takes longer to deal with their feelings. I don't think anyone has the right to judge her and call her a "baby" just because she cries all the time. I would be too. I feel very sorry for her.
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thatsme 26 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-26-05, 01:47 PM (EST)
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69. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Redbud, you pegged her exactly!! Attention seeking, spoiled, self-centered. I'd like someone to just shake her silly and tell her to grow up. Everyone loses loved ones at some point, she's not special. Maybe her real issue is why does she feel the need to be the center of attention and have all the HG and LCs to watch her grieve???? That's what I think anyway...I'm sure others will disagree but hey, that's why we're here!
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brown eyed angel 26 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-26-05, 03:21 PM (EST)
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72. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Your heartless!
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LRoyce 35 desperate attention whore postings
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10-26-05, 04:44 PM (EST)
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74. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
BROWN EYED ANGEL: having received a WARNING myself from one of my early postings, be aware that you can be reported even if you are just perceived as "bashing" one of the posters on this board. The whole point of the board is to sound off about the show and if what someone wants to post about the show is heartless, it is their right to post it. No poster is fair game but anything or anyone about the show is. I can only tell you that if you don't like what is being said in a post, argue about that but not about the person who said it.
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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
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10-27-05, 07:50 PM (EST)
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75. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
LRoyce, be careful  I was included on that warning because I reminded Brown Eye Angel of the guidelines of the board. I guess I should have just sent her to the prinicpal via the Alert link in the email.
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Airlies 14 desperate attention whore postings
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10-28-05, 10:43 AM (EST)
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79. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Someone may have mentioned this already: If Jessica is so adverse to discussing her mother's death as part of a 'public tragedy' why did her family invite a reporter to stay with them immediately after 9/11?
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Bellachic 52 desperate attention whore postings
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10-28-05, 12:30 PM (EST)
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80. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
Is it possible that it wasn't her choice? Maybe her father or sister determined it was the best for their family? What better way not to deal with the death of her mother, than by inviting perfect strangers - maybe their way of actually avoiding their own internal grief. Lots of possibilities.
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deededell 271 desperate attention whore postings
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10-28-05, 10:29 PM (EST)
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82. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
I can say this. I have lost a son, my dad, and we have been through a public tragedy that was too close for comfort. My heart wants to yell at Jessica to realize that no one can rob her of who her mother was or change any precious memory that they shared. I so desperatly want her to know that in my opinion that, as an American 9/11 brought back a love for America that was long lost. Naturally, I wish every family had their loved one with them today and everyday since then. Yet, what a great legacy for every person that died that day. The day that America changed. Her private grief is her's for the taking. I learned that in our public tragedy. The public mourning ends. It is in those quite hours when its you and the walls that you remember those that you loved. I wish Jessica would not begrudge her mother's public death, but embrace what seemed to be her mother's amazing zeal for life.
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Lizz726 4 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-29-05, 10:07 AM (EST)
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83. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
My partner lost her father tragically on a rafting trip they both were taking on her birthday. It was horrible. They had to hike his body up ravines for 2 hours to get him to a waiting ambulance. At 54 he was dead. My girlfriend not only lost her father but her best friend. While watching SO Pam (my gf) has said that there is no way she could have handled losing her father in such a historical event. I don't know how any of you could handle daily life when every time you turn on the tv there are pictures, discussions, killings, all because of the day your parent was murdered. Constant reminders. I know it's bad enough when Pam's father's Birthday, Fathers Day, or the anniversary of his death comes up. Can you imagine the constant reminder daily?
I applaud Jessica. I know I couldn't handle what she's going through. To tell her to move on or to get over it shows how lucky some are to never experience the horrible tragedy that she has.
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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
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10-31-05, 03:42 PM (EST)
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87. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
So it seems Jessica cries over EVERYTHING. Rhonda and Jess weren't even talking about the mother, and Jessica starts crying over her sister's visit. And what's one of the first comments she makes to her sister "I've never seen you cry". That's ok Jess...you'r doing enough crying for the both of you. Heck, for your entire family. It was also pretty interesting that she kept saying how her sister had some issues in getting in touch with her feelings. Now I guess Jess has become the therapist. Worry about your yourself Jessica.
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rookwood 350 desperate attention whore postings
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10-31-05, 03:55 PM (EST)
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88. "RE: Jessica....Enough Already!!!" |
>So it seems Jessica cries over
>EVERYTHING. Rhonda and Jess
>weren't even talking about the
>mother, and Jessica starts crying
>over her sister's visit.
>And what's one of the
>first comments she makes to
>her sister "I've never seen
>you cry". That's ok
>Jess...you'r doing enough crying for
>the both of you.
>Heck, for your entire family.
> It was
>also pretty interesting that she
>kept saying how her sister
>had some issues in getting
>in touch with her feelings.
> Now I guess Jess
>has become the therapist. Worry
>about your yourself Jessica. I have had my own issues with Jessica, but I would like to offer this: One thing I have observed about my own tears or negative feelings is that the more I try to suppress them, and the more I feel that those tears are viewed as unwanted or inappropriate or unacceptable by other people - especially by people I love - the more often and intensely they flow. The more we try to push away unpleasant feelings, the stronger they come back to bite us, and the more intensely we experience them. I believe that if Jess felt comfortable with her feelings and her tears, if they were really ACCEPTABLE to herself and her family, she would not cry nearly as much. Imo, people who are unable or unwilling to cry are just as unbalanced as people who cry all the time over everything. It's just two ends of a spectrum. Both Jess and her sister need, imo, to meet and find each other and themselves somewhere closer to the center of that spectrum. I am sorry for Jess that her sister did not reach out to her today, or try to comfort her. Instead, what I saw was her sister almost recoiling from Jess, from her rawness and emotional fragility. I saw her judging Jess. Perhaps the sister sees in Jess something that she loathes and finds unacceptable in herself (the crying, the emotional vulnerability). Perhaps her sister is afraid that if she allows herself for one moment to experience her emotions about her mother's death, she will lose all control (as she feels Jess has) and lose herself. She must be terrified. I don't know if something happened in the past to make them interact this way. I hope they can find some common ground to build on.
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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But occasionally I do enjoy a good cry over a show. 