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"Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
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Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 02:05 AM (EST)
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"Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
Here are 10 questions, which are intended to be snarky. Please answer snarkily. Or not, hey, I won’t tell you what to do.

1. Why does everyone hate the Weavers? Is it because

A)“We’re all Christians and we’re above them.”
B)”We’ve been raised not to trust anyone but our family and God.”
C) The other families are “retards” who are just ganging up against them.
D) other________________

2. Which “feminine charms” did the Godlewski sisters use to get taxi fare?

3. In the opening credits, Wally Bransen is shown riding a bicycle with his daughters. How many takes did they need to get him not only balanced, but moving?

4. Ma Weaver seems to cope with stress by behaving erratically. What was going through her head when she drove off from the rainforest task without her kids or cameraman?

5. Why did whichever Godlewski sister feel the need to explain to Trish that she had to find the coffee bean that looked different?

6. Who was the gentleman that Brian Paolo asked for directions and why did he wink at the camera?

7. The Paolo family seems more functional with every episode. Conversely, the Godlewskis’ enthusiastic shrieking has been reduced to bickering nastiness. Explain this phenomenon.

8. When the Weavers get into their van for the first time, Ma insists that she can drive “stick” and then promptly pops the clutch and stalls repeatedly. One of the kids remarks “Well the brakes work!” What other skills or knowledge gained from their father’s years as a racetrack worker do the Weavers have?

9. What is Tammy Gaghan’s favourite hot caffeinated beverage?

10. Which “Wild Ride” will each Paolo family member choose and why? (ATV, Segway {single-person automated dolly thing}, Vespa {Scooter}, JetSki)



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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 dabo 11-02-05 1
   RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 Silvergirl1 11-04-05 18
 RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 mrc 11-02-05 2
 RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 Cygnus X1 11-02-05 3
 RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 ARnutz 11-02-05 4
   RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 Seana 11-02-05 5
       RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 ARnutz 11-02-05 6
 RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 dajaki 11-03-05 7
 RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 Ryan DeMaster 11-03-05 8
 RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 redbaronii 11-03-05 9
 RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 willinCal 11-03-05 10
 RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 Seana 11-03-05 11
   RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 mrc 11-04-05 13
       RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 Seana 11-04-05 15
           RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 mrc 11-04-05 16
 RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 Molaholic 11-04-05 12
 RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 CouchTater 11-04-05 14
 RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6 Max Headroom 11-04-05 17

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dabo 26513 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 03:25 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
1. Why does everyone hate the Weavers? Is it because

A)“We’re all Christians and we’re above them.”
B)”We’ve been raised not to trust anyone but our family and God.”
C) The other families are “retards” who are just ganging up against them.
D) other________________

D. It's a contest, why the ache-ee-double-toothpicks should the Weavers trust any of the other teams that are out to beat them?

2. Which “feminine charms” did the Godlewski sisters use to get taxi fare?

Doublethreat, blondes with oobies!

3. In the opening credits, Wally Bransen is shown riding a bicycle with his daughters. How many takes did they need to get him not only balanced, but moving?

7. Just a guess, but they seem to have some luck working for them.

4. Ma Weaver seems to cope with stress by behaving erratically. What was going through her head when she drove off from the rainforest task without her kids or cameraman?

Free at last, free at last, lord almighty I's free at last!

5. Why did whichever Godlewski sister feel the need to explain to Trish that she had to find the coffee bean that looked different?

Heck, you can tell them apart, they all look the same to me.

6. Who was the gentleman that Brian Paolo asked for directions and why did he wink at the camera?

Clueless American tourist with a tv camera pointed his direction.

7. The Paolo family seems more functional with every episode. Conversely, the Godlewskis’ enthusiastic shrieking has been reduced to bickering nastiness. Explain this phenomenon.

Is old Italian secret, be honest and fight but hang together no matter what.

8. When the Weavers get into their van for the first time, Ma insists that she can drive “stick” and then promptly pops the clutch and stalls repeatedly. One of the kids remarks “Well the brakes work!” What other skills or knowledge gained from their father’s years as a racetrack worker do the Weavers have?

Banking on the turns.

9. What is Tammy Gaghan’s favourite hot caffeinated beverage?

Mayan chocolate!

10. Which “Wild Ride” will each Paolo family member choose and why? (ATV, Segway {single-person automated dolly thing}, Vespa {Scooter}, JetSki)

Paw: ATV

Maw: Segway

Older Son: Vespa

Younger Son: ATV

JetSki? Heh, none of them want to be sleeping with the fishes, atsa no good!


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Silvergirl1 9330 desperate attention whore postings
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11-04-05, 12:42 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"

Hey! I sleep with the fishes and it's fun for me.

Okay, it's fun if you're a mermaid, and not so fun if you're Italian. It looks like Papa Paolo can't swim anyway.



Handcrafted by RollDdice 2005

I want a Segway and free gas for life! Swim with me

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mrc 10074 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 09:20 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
LAST EDITED ON 11-02-05 AT 09:22 AM (EST)

1. Why does everyone hate the Weavers? Is it because

Because they are self-righteous and their shorts are too tight.

2. Which “feminine charms” did the Godlewski sisters use to get taxi fare?

Hard to say, since they don't have any.

3. In the opening credits, Wally Bransen is shown riding a bicycle with his daughters. How many takes did they need to get him not only balanced, but moving?

They only did one, b/c he was too tired to do any more.

4. Ma Weaver seems to cope with stress by behaving erratically. What was going through her head when she drove off from the rainforest task without her kids or cameraman?

I must drink the Kool-aid. I must buy the Bare Minerals. I must have Tom's baby.

5. Why did whichever Godlewski sister feel the need to explain to Trish that she had to find the coffee bean that looked different?

They can't tell each other apart, so why would they be able to tell beans apart?

6. Who was the gentleman that Brian Paolo asked for directions and why did he wink at the camera?

Beetram Van Munster on a binger.

7. The Paolo family seems more functional with every episode. Conversely, the Godlewskis’ enthusiastic shrieking has been reduced to bickering nastiness. Explain this phenomenon.

It's the Seinfeld Law applied to stupidity. The less sex stupid people have, the smarter they become. Wait, that doesn't work. Never mind.

8. When the Weavers get into their van for the first time, Ma insists that she can drive “stick” and then promptly pops the clutch and stalls repeatedly. One of the kids remarks “Well the brakes work!” What other skills or knowledge gained from their father’s years as a racetrack worker do the Weavers have?

Well, they obviously know how to run over people.

9. What is Tammy Gaghan’s favourite hot caffeinated beverage?

Red bean coffee.

10. Which “Wild Ride” will each Paolo family member choose and why? (ATV, Segway {single-person automated dolly thing}, Vespa {Scooter}, JetSki)

Dood, we all know that none of them are going to ride any of those do-hickeys. The mom is too out-of-shape, the dad has a cool garbage truck, and the two boys will be too stoned/drunk to find them.


Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 10:36 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
1. Why does everyone hate the Weavers? Is it because

A)“We’re all Christians and we’re above them.”
B)”We’ve been raised not to trust anyone but our family and God.”
C) The other families are “retards” who are just ganging up against them.
D) At this point, the Weavers have become so annoying that the other Racers would prefer competing against Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, James Dobson, and Joyce Meyer.

2. Which “feminine charms” did the Godlewski sisters use to get taxi fare?
They performed the seductive Latino Underpants On Top of Underpants On Top Of Pants Dance, and the money came pouring in (begging them to stop).

3. In the opening credits, Wally Bransen is shown riding a bicycle with his daughters. How many takes did they need to get him not only balanced, but moving?
Twelve, once the training wheels had been removed.

4. Ma Weaver seems to cope with stress by behaving erratically. What was going through her head when she drove off from the rainforest task without her kids or cameraman?
Have some compassion! She was trying to recreate her husband's accident.

5. Why did whichever Godlewski sister feel the need to explain to Trish that she had to find the coffee bean that looked different?
It was her day to think.

6. Who was the gentleman that Brian Paolo asked for directions and why did he wink at the camera?
Juan Valdez on his day off. He winked because he's actually a mole employed by Mark Burnett to throw the Racers off.

7. The Paolo family seems more functional with every episode. Conversely, the Godlewskis’ enthusiastic shrieking has been reduced to bickering nastiness. Explain this phenomenon.
Simple. The level of dysfunction is inversely proportional to how well the family does each leg. Which means by the time they're Philiminated, the Godlewskis should resemble the Klumps.

8. When the Weavers get into their van for the first time, Ma insists that she can drive “stick” and then promptly pops the clutch and stalls repeatedly. One of the kids remarks “Well the brakes work!” What other skills or knowledge gained from their father’s years as a racetrack worker do the Weavers have?
They know how to deal with wrecks; after all, they ARE wrecks!

9. What is Tammy Gaghan’s favourite hot caffeinated beverage?
Tea. Coffee gives her a headache. (thanks, Pete Puma)

10. Which “Wild Ride” will each Paolo family member choose and why? (ATV, Segway {single-person automated dolly thing}, Vespa {Scooter}, JetSki)
Marion: The Segway. Not only will she motor around the kitchen better, but she'll also be taller than the boys.
DJ: The Vespa. Figures it'll be easier that way to elude authorities in New JerseyYork.
Brian: The ATV, but he won't bother with any sissy protective gear.
Tony: The JetSki. Looks like he'll need it next week!


Good job, MarionSeana! *chooms*

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ARnutz 13889 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 09:20 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
1. Why does everyone hate the Weavers? Is it because

A)“We’re all Christians and we’re above them.”
B)”We’ve been raised not to trust anyone but our family and God.”
C) The other families are “retards” who are just ganging up against them.
D) other Ummm... I can't really say too much here (not pg-13), but it's because they ##### ######, ##### #### and #### ####!!!

2. Which “feminine charms” did the Godlewski sisters use to get taxi fare?

I'm thinking it was the implants!

3. In the opening credits, Wally Bransen is shown riding a bicycle with his daughters. How many takes did they need to get him not only balanced, but moving?

3 ~ on take one he fell over to the left, on take 2 he fell over to the right and finally on take 3 they got him some training wheels.

4. Ma Weaver seems to cope with stress by behaving erratically. What was going through her head when she drove off from the rainforest task without her kids or cameraman?

She was thinking ####### ##### ##### kids!!! I'll ####### show ###### ###### a thing or two! I'll ####### leave their ##### ######!!!

5. Why did whichever Godlewski sister feel the need to explain to Trish that she had to find the coffee bean that looked different?

Well, they are blonde, right??? Ummm, yeah... I am blonde so I can say that!

6. Who was the gentleman that Brian Paolo asked for directions and why did he wink at the camera?

It was a SHM looking for a SHF. He thought he was making a video for match.com

7. The Paolo family seems more functional with every episode. Conversely, the Godlewskis’ enthusiastic shrieking has been reduced to bickering nastiness. Explain this phenomenon.

It's all relative. It ebbs and flows. You know kind of like the good kid, bad kid phenomenon. When the bad kid is actually behaving, the good kid needs to act up to keep the status quo.

8. When the Weavers get into their van for the first time, Ma insists that she can drive “stick” and then promptly pops the clutch and stalls repeatedly. One of the kids remarks “Well the brakes work!” What other skills or knowledge gained from their father’s years as a racetrack worker do the Weavers have?

I'm sick of ##### Weaver questions!!! I'm not ###### answering because ###### ####### ##### ######!!! 10 ###### questions and 3 are about the ####### Weavers??? ####!!!

9. What is Tammy Gaghan’s favourite hot caffeinated beverage?

Ummmm... I bet it's no longer coffee!

10. Which “Wild Ride” will each Paolo family member choose and why? (ATV, Segway {single-person automated dolly thing}, Vespa {Scooter}, JetSki)

DJ ~ whichever is the fastest, so he can run from mama when she's about to smack him upside the head!
Brian ~ whichever is the loudest so he can drown out the rest of them.
Papa ~ segway, so he won't have to walk to each garbage can anymore.
Mama ~ JetSki, she'd be too worried to fall on the pavement... she'd rather hit the water.


'nutz: Proud member of the inoffensive OT Triumvirate... and Shroomhater! - shroom go boom!

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Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 09:34 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
Gee, Nutz, I'm sorry. They're just so make-fun-of-able.


Ple-ease forgive me. *puppy dog face*

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ARnutz 13889 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 09:40 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
s'ok

I just wanted to say #####, #### and ####### some more!

Releasing that stress, you know!

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dajaki 1454 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-05, 00:53 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
1. Why does everyone hate the Weavers? Is it because
A)“We’re all Christians and we’re above them.”
B)”We’ve been raised not to trust anyone but our family and God.”
C) The other families are “retards” who are just ganging up against them.
D) other________________

They're scapegoats, man! They're freaking scapegoats!

2. Which “feminine charms” did the Godlewski sisters use to get taxi fare?

They took turns performing Frances McDormand interviews William H. Macy in "Fargo".

3. In the opening credits, Wally Bransen is shown riding a bicycle with his daughters. How many takes did they need to get him not only balanced, but moving?

Too many. They used Leslie Nielsen as a stunt double.

4. Ma Weaver seems to cope with stress by behaving erratically. What was going through her head when she drove off from the rainforest task without her kids or cameraman?

Gotta get my meds. Gotta get my meds.

5. Why did whichever Godlewski sister feel the need to explain to Trish that she had to find the coffee bean that looked different?

Who's Trish? Does she look different from her sisters?

6. Who was the gentleman that Brian Paolo asked for directions and why did he wink at the camera?

Jimmy Buffet, winking because he was giving directions away, far away, from his Costa Rican Margaritaville. Mmmmm, margaritas!

7. The Paolo family seems more functional with every episode. Conversely, the Godlewskis’ enthusiastic shrieking has been reduced to bickering nastiness. Explain this phenomenon.

The miracle of editing. Just ask Jonathon and Victoria.

8. When the Weavers get into their van for the first time, Ma insists that she can drive “stick” and then promptly pops the clutch and stalls repeatedly. One of the kids remarks “Well the brakes work!” What other skills or knowledge gained from their father’s years as a racetrack worker do the Weavers have?

I betcha they can change the oil . . . in a frying pan. They can probably rotate the tires . . . of a unicycle. They know how to use the wax . . . on their legs. They can replace a battery . . . in a cell phone.

9. What is Tammy Gaghan’s favourite hot caffeinated beverage?

Caffeine bad. Gatorade good.

10. Which “Wild Ride” will each Paolo family member choose and why? (ATV, Segway {single-person automated dolly thing}, Vespa {Scooter}, JetSki)

Marion gets the Scooter so she can scoot on out of her house. Dad gets the ATV because he used to driving cumbersome 4-wheeled vehicles. The sons will share the other two, that is if they can stop fighting long enough to enjoy them.

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Ryan DeMaster 228 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-05, 03:49 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
LAST EDITED ON 11-03-05 AT 06:13 AM (EST)

1. Why does everyone hate the Weavers? Is it because

A)“We’re all Christians and we’re above them.”
B)”We’ve been raised not to trust anyone but our family and God.”
C) The other families are “retards” who are just ganging up against them.
D) other________________

They're all jealous; the other teams - such as the loving, caring Gaghans - are all going to Hell, and the Weavers aren't.

2. Which “feminine charms” did the Godlewski sisters use to get taxi fare?

They don't have any.

3. In the opening credits, Wally Bransen is shown riding a bicycle with his daughters. How many takes did they need to get him not only balanced, but moving?

None. Technology is a wonderful thing, you know

4. Ma Weaver seems to cope with stress by behaving erratically. What was going through her head when she drove off from the rainforest task without her kids or cameraman?

"YESSSSSSSSSS!!! I FINALLY GOT RID OF THEM!!!! THANK YOU, LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!"

5. Why did whichever Godlewski sister feel the need to explain to Trish that she had to find the coffee bean that looked different?

Because the Godlewskis know nothing about looking different.

6. Who was the gentleman that Brian Paolo asked for directions and why did he wink at the camera?

A cousin of the Bransen's bus-jacker from last week. Their family mission is to screw with as many TAR contestants as possible.

7. The Paolo family seems more functional with every episode. Conversely, the Godlewskis’ enthusiastic shrieking has been reduced to bickering nastiness. Explain this phenomenon.

Neither family truly likes each other. It's a lot easier to play nice when you're kicking @$$ then it is when you're battling to avoid Philimination.

8. When the Weavers get into their van for the first time, Ma insists that she can drive “stick” and then promptly pops the clutch and stalls repeatedly. One of the kids remarks “Well the brakes work!” What other skills or knowledge gained from their father’s years as a racetrack worker do the Weavers have?

How to be bitter, cynical @$$holes to everyone else? That seems like all they know how to do.

9. What is Tammy Gaghan’s favourite hot caffeinated beverage?

Coffee made from the red beans native to Costa Rica, but she just can't find any.

Seriously: ANYTHING. When you have to chase around a pair of fearless, exuberant kids like Billy and Carissa (plus a 7 year old culled from the same gene pool), you'll need all the energy you can get.

10. Which “Wild Ride” will each Paolo family member choose and why? (ATV, Segway {single-person automated dolly thing}, Vespa {Scooter}, JetSki)

Tony - JetSki; he obviously can't swim after seeing the preview >_>
Marion - Segway; she lacks the stamina to use anything else
D.J. - ATV; that'll be best for either running his mother over, or packing up his stuff and getting out of Dodge
Brian - Vespa; that way he can go someplace sane all by himself

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redbaronii 171 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-05, 05:00 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
1. Why does everyone hate the Weavers? Is it because

A)“We’re all Christians and we’re above them.”
B)”We’ve been raised not to trust anyone but our family and God.”
C) The other families are “retards” who are just ganging up against them.
D) other________________

d. The producers told the other teams "We WANNNNTTT some dynamics!"

2. Which “feminine charms” did the Godlewski sisters use to get taxi fare?
I have to ask Kami/Karli for the answer...

3. In the opening credits, Wally Bransen is shown riding a bicycle with his daughters. How many takes did they need to get him not only balanced, but moving?

One. You just didn't see the producers...

4. Ma Weaver seems to cope with stress by behaving erratically. What was going through her head when she drove off from the rainforest task without her kids or cameraman?

"Finally I have a chance to drift!"

5. Why did whichever Godlewski sister feel the need to explain to Trish that she had to find the coffee bean that looked different?

Thought of the day: All Coffee bean should looks the same, right?

6. Who was the gentleman that Brian Paolo asked for directions and why did he wink at the camera?

The man god send to Earth as request by the Weavers

7. The Paolo family seems more functional with every episode. Conversely, the Godlewskis’ enthusiastic shrieking has been reduced to bickering nastiness. Explain this phenomenon.

They switch their medicine, whatever the medicine do...

8. When the Weavers get into their van for the first time, Ma insists that she can drive “stick” and then promptly pops the clutch and stalls repeatedly. One of the kids remarks “Well the brakes work!” What other skills or knowledge gained from their father’s years as a racetrack worker do the Weavers have?

DRIFTING!

9. What is Tammy Gaghan’s favourite hot caffeinated beverage?

Anything with the word "Red", "Bean", or "Coffee".

10. Which “Wild Ride” will each Paolo family member choose and why? (ATV, Segway {single-person automated dolly thing}, Vespa {Scooter}, JetSki)

Tony: Segway (Easier to collect trash, right?)
Marion: Segway (She don't want to walk, right?)
DJ: ATV (Getting away from Marion-smack)
Brian: JetSki (Water lower the soundwave, right?)

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willinCal 193 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-05, 08:04 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
1. Why does everyone hate the Weavers? Is it because

A)“We’re all Christians and we’re above them.”
B)”We’ve been raised not to trust anyone but our family and God.”
C) The other families are “retards” who are just ganging up against them.
D) other________________

*D - ALL OF THE ABOVE

2. Which “feminine charms” did the Godlewski sisters use to get taxi fare?

*4 SETS OF SWEDISH OOBIES

3. In the opening credits, Wally Bransen is shown riding a bicycle with his daughters. How many takes did they need to get him not only balanced, but moving?

* 3 TIMES....EACH TIME WITH EACH DAUGHTER

4. Ma Weaver seems to cope with stress by behaving erratically. What was going through her head when she drove off from the rainforest task without her kids or cameraman?

*I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. SCREW THE KIDS...SCREW THE SHOW...SCREW THE TEAMS...WHERE ARE MY CRAZY PILLS?

5. Why did whichever Godlewski sister feel the need to explain to Trish that she had to find the coffee bean that looked different?

*TO PROVE SHE'S THE SMARTEST ONE

6. Who was the gentleman that Brian Paolo asked for directions and why did he wink at the camera?

*JUAN VALDEZ....TO PROMOTE THE COFFEE BEANS OF COURSE.

7. The Paolo family seems more functional with every episode. Conversely, the Godlewskis’ enthusiastic shrieking has been reduced to bickering nastiness. Explain this phenomenon.

*THE WEAVERS

8. When the Weavers get into their van for the first time, Ma insists that she can drive “stick” and then promptly pops the clutch and stalls repeatedly. One of the kids remarks “Well the brakes work!” What other skills or knowledge gained from their father’s years as a racetrack worker do the Weavers have?

*OH OH...THIS ONE'S ASKING FOR TROUBLE. HERE'S THE OFFICIAL ANSWER: STAY OUT OF THE STREET! ALL CARS ARE EVIL!

9. What is Tammy Gaghan’s favourite hot caffeinated beverage?

*TEA

10. Which “Wild Ride” will each Paolo family member choose and why? (ATV, Segway {single-person automated dolly thing}, Vespa {Scooter}, JetSki)

*MAMA (SEGWAY)
*PAPA (JETSKI)
*DJ (ATV)
*BRIAN (SCOOTER)

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Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

11-03-05, 09:03 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
I see some names that are new to the Hawkeye! (At least, I don't think you have written one before.)

Ryan DeMaster
redbaronii
willinCal

Welcome!!

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mrc 10074 desperate attention whore postings
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11-04-05, 08:15 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
Ahem. I believe this is my first Hawkeye as well.

Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004

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Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings
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11-04-05, 10:06 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
I could not possibly be more embarrassed. *blush*

Welcome to the Hawkeyes, mrc! I was just thinking the other day that we need a scary dead guy with Gene Wilder hair in here.


2005 Pumpkin Carving Contest Award Winner

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mrc 10074 desperate attention whore postings
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11-04-05, 12:04 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
Well, if you were nekkid on national TV and all you got was chocolate, you might be more embarassed. Unless your name was Heidi or Jenna.

Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004

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Molaholic 8870 desperate attention whore postings
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11-04-05, 00:41 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
Posting before reading -- really

1. Why does everyone hate the Weavers? Is it because
A)“We’re all Christians and we’re above them.”
B)”We’ve been raised not to trust anyone but our family and God.”
C) The other families are “retards” who are just ganging up against them.
D) Mass divine revelation

2. Which “feminine charms” did the Godlewski sisters use to get taxi fare?
Oobies, oobies, oobies!

3. In the opening credits, Wally Bransen is shown riding a bicycle with his daughters. How many takes did they need to get him not only balanced, but moving?
Truth be told, he never did make it. EPMB contacted a good buddy over at Pixar to do a little CGA.

4. Ma Weaver seems to cope with stress by behaving erratically. What was going through her head when she drove off from the rainforest task without her kids or cameraman?
The theme from "The Green Hornet"

5. Why did whichever Godlewski sister feel the need to explain to Trish that she had to find the coffee bean that looked different?
She was confused -- people were talking about coffee but nobody used the words "latte mocha half"

6. Who was the gentleman that Brian Paolo asked for directions and why did he wink at the camera?
Anderson Cooper. Still trying to recoop from walking away from The Mole

7. The Paolo family seems more functional with every episode. Conversely, the Godlewskis’ enthusiastic shrieking has been reduced to bickering nastiness. Explain this phenomenon.
Transmorgification.

8. When the Weavers get into their van for the first time, Ma insists that she can drive “stick” and then promptly pops the clutch and stalls repeatedly. One of the kids remarks “Well the brakes work!” What other skills or knowledge gained from their father’s years as a racetrack worker do the Weavers have?
It only takes 13.4 seconds to get a fill-up and change of tires at the local BP station.

9. What is Tammy Gaghan’s favorite hot caffeinated beverage?
Well, we know now what is isn't.

10. Which “Wild Ride” will each Paolo family member choose and why? (ATV, Segway {single-person automated dolly thing}, Vespa {Scooter}, JetSki)
Mama will take the Scooter -- it's the only thing that will hold up her wide heinie; the sons will both take the JetSkis so they can chase after women; and Papa will take Segway -- because of the reaming he constantly gets from Mama he just can't sit down.

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CouchTater 1046 desperate attention whore postings
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11-04-05, 09:05 AM (EST)
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14. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
1. Why does everyone hate the Weavers? Is it because
A)“We’re all Christians and we’re above them.”
B)”We’ve been raised not to trust anyone but our family and God.”
C) The other families are “retards” who are just ganging up against them.
D) other________________

Because the Weavers keep insisting they are in the country of San Diego.

2. Which “feminine charms” did the Godlewski sisters use to get taxi fare?

They threatened a cluck, cluck, cluck filibuster.

3. In the opening credits, Wally Bransen is shown riding a bicycle with his daughters. How many takes did they need to get him not only balanced, but moving?

It’s not Wally; it’s a stunt double.

4. Ma Weaver seems to cope with stress by behaving erratically. What was going through her head when she drove off from the rainforest task without her kids or cameraman?

I need cornholios for my bung hole!!!! Give me cornholios for my bung hole!!!!

5. Why did whichever Godlewski sister feel the need to explain to Trish that she had to find the coffee bean that looked different?

Just trying to make herself stand out. Nobody can tell them apart.

6. Who was the gentleman that Brian Paolo asked for directions and why did he wink at the camera?

Just your typical CIA agent on the job.

7. The Paolo family seems more functional with every episode. Conversely, the Godlewskis’ enthusiastic shrieking has been reduced to bickering nastiness. Explain this phenomenon.

The Pendulum effect.

8. When the Weavers get into their van for the first time, Ma insists that she can drive “stick” and then promptly pops the clutch and stalls repeatedly. One of the kids remarks “Well the brakes work!” What other skills or knowledge gained from their father’s years as a racetrack worker do the Weavers have?

None, obviously.

9. What is Tammy Gaghan’s favourite hot caffeinated beverage?

She a vegan runner who doesn’t do caffeine, which is probably why she couldn’t find the bean.

10. Which “Wild Ride” will each Paolo family member choose and why? (ATV, Segway {single-person automated dolly thing}, Vespa {Scooter}, JetSki)

They will all pick the ATV cause, the family that fights together, rides ATV’s together.

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Max Headroom 10069 desperate attention whore postings
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11-04-05, 12:30 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Hawkeye 10 TAR Family Episode 6"
1. Why does everyone hate the Weavers? Is it because

A)“We’re all Christians and we’re above them.”
B)”We’ve been raised not to trust anyone but our family and God.”
C) The other families are “retards” who are just ganging up against them.
D) other________________

D) Because they are obnoxious.

2. Which “feminine charms” did the Godlewski sisters use to get taxi fare?

They offered up the "Linz family deal" - you help us and we'll make out with you.

3. In the opening credits, Wally Bransen is shown riding a bicycle with his daughters. How many takes did they need to get him not only balanced, but moving?

Just one. Wally is training for the Tour de France-- can't you tell by looking at him?

4. Ma Weaver seems to cope with stress by behaving erratically. What was going through her head when she drove off from the rainforest task without her kids or cameraman?

"We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine..."

5. Why did whichever Godlewski sister feel the need to explain to Trish that she had to find the coffee bean that looked different?

It was a typical Godlewski moment-- the mouth was engaged before the brain was engaged.

6. Who was the gentleman that Brian Paolo asked for directions and why did he wink at the camera?

Yet another Central American DAW.

7. The Paolo family seems more functional with every episode. Conversely, the Godlewskis’ enthusiastic shrieking has been reduced to bickering nastiness. Explain this phenomenon.

The families moods correspond with their successes and failures in the race. Just wait until the Godlewskis get Philiminated...

8. When the Weavers get into their van for the first time, Ma insists that she can drive “stick” and then promptly pops the clutch and stalls repeatedly. One of the kids remarks “Well the brakes work!” What other skills or knowledge gained from their father’s years as a racetrack worker do the Weavers have?

Didn't you see the UPS and Viagra logos on their van?

9. What is Tammy Gaghan’s favourite hot caffeinated beverage?

She don't need no stinkin' caffeine!

10. Which “Wild Ride” will each Paolo family member choose and why? (ATV, Segway {single-person automated dolly thing}, Vespa {Scooter}, JetSki)

Can you imagine Marion's large posterior on a Vespa? Gotta go with the ATV. Brian and DJ go for the Vespa, because it can outrun an ATV. And the "head of the household" goes for the Segway because it'll make those trash pickups so much easier.

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