The GAS Bandit is incarcerated, the Teal Carpet is stained, but no SuperLosers were hurt in the process.

Speaking of The Teal Carpet!
With limos pulling up in quick succession it has become a virtual spawning stream of bedazzling Super-Losers!
Why there's Sarcastia with Sagittarius and La Femme Dakota as their escort.

I see Super Couple, Royal Grouper and Hemiptera!

My wife has allowed for me to sleep with either of them, if they so choose to do so. OMG, I'm like three feet away from them, I could just reach out and grab them.
*BONK*
Oh yea, I forgot about your Big 32", Royal Grouper.
You heard me?

Anyways, coming down the carpet now is Frigga and Skel-A-Rectile!

Opposites do indeed attract.

Now it's Phantom Blinside, looking like he might be a little frightened of Mr. Mannerwerkzug, or is he trying to split up the MoleMeister and his date, Trixi Whip Lash?

You never see that guy coming.

Huh?
Is that La Femme Dakota again?

But this time she's escorting the CanDangler. Very Interesting.
Either she is REALLY busy or there are two La Femme Dakotas. Someone on the inside should check that out.

Before we get started with the awards let us now take a moment to pay tribute to those super losers who didn't make the long haul. You were missed.

Damn you Gawdzilla!

Okay, I've done enough chattering... on with the slaggies!

First presenter up is... Dynamo Dusk

Thank you Lowell, thank you academy, thank you Justice Lodge...
Welcome everyone else to the show.
Yes, all the last minute finagling didn't result in an actual show host, so I, Dynamo Dusk, am just gonna pass the mic on to the next presenter after I've given away the first award. Pretty smart, huh?

The nominees for the Biggest Brain Award are...
CanDangler
Frigga
MoleMeister
Phantom Blindside
Sagittarius
and the winner of the slaggie is...
Congrats, Sagittarius

*look for Sagittarius to use big words in her acceptance speech below.

Our next presenter is... Batgirl!

Spending my time favoring the shoadows, it feels weird to be standing here in the teal-light.
Unlike our next group of nominees, who all possess that certain jene se dawdom.

The nominees for the Kablooey Award for Most Massive Personality are...
Armed Trigger
Crimson Avenger
King Neptune
MoleMeister
Skel-A-Rectile
and the winner of the slaggie is...
Congrats, MoleMeister

*look for MoleMeister's bigger-than-life acceptance speech below.

Our next presenter is... Caterwaul!

Hello, losers! Glad to be here!
It seems I was picked to present the next award because I can talk to cats.
Why that has anything to do with Alien Intelligence is beyond me.
Speaking of beyond understanding...

The nominees for Alien Intelligence are...
Batgirl
Crimson Avenger
Frigga
MoleMeister
Pegasus
and the winner of the slaggie is...

Congrats, Frigga!

*transmit Frigga's acceptance speech to SETI for translation.

And now a word from our sponser...

The nominees for the Fructis® Healthiest Hair Award are...
Cat Conjuress
La Femme Dakota
Pegasus
Sarcastia
Trixi Whip Lash
and the winner of the slaggie is...
Congrats, Sarcastia

*look for Sarcastia to wash, rinse and repeat below.

Back to the show and up next to present is... Pegasus

Hmmm... seems I'm two nominations and zero wins so far. Plus, I've had to stay in this costume for almost a week straight now preparing for this presentation. I have to admit, if I don't win the next one I may just need to put a hit out on a certain host... ahem... I could ask any one of...

The nominees for the Largest Muscles are...
Candangler
Caterwaul
Frigga
MoleMeister
Phantom Blindside
and the winner of the slaggie is...
Congrats, Phantom Blinside

*watch Phantom Blindside's flex his acceptance speech below.

Up next to present is... King Neptune

Why I'm not nominated for the next catergory is beyond me, but

The nominees for the Best Alter Ego are...
Dynamo Dusk
Hemiptera
La Femme Dakota
Trixi Whip Lash
the Voluptuous and Vicious Vixen
and the winner of the slaggie is...
Congrats, Hemiptera

*look for either jbug or Hemiptera to give an acceptance speech below.

Oh and I'd like to introduce the next pussy...er...presenter... Cat Conjuress

A little fruedian slip there, michel?
Anyways, when it comes to inside jokes and secret codes, the lodge is the paramount receptor for all things innuendo-oriented and the usual suspects were up to the usual antics, but none compared to the following list of...

The nominees for the Most Subliminal are...
Armed Trigger
Hemiptera
Pegasus
Procrastinatrix
Sagittarius
and the winner of the slaggie is...
Congrats, Procrastinatrix

*look for Procrastinatrix's acceptance speech to be phasionably late and full of innuendo.

Time for another sponser break...

The nominees for the Cialis® Longest Weekend Award are...
CanDangler
Dynamo Dusk
Phantom Blindside
Royal Grouper
Sarcastia
and the winner of the slaggie is...
Congrats, CanDangler

*Call your doctor if the CanDangler's acceptance speech lasts more than 4 hours.

Okay, were back and I, Captain Nepharious, am your next presenter. Coming to you via Voice-Over from my spacious Sofa of Solitude.
Since I was the one to decide to make you all wear spandex in the first place, I figured I'd be the best judge of what you all looked like in the lycra-leggings. I certainly have my short list of shouldn't wear supersuits but I'd rather share...

The nominees for the Sexiest Spandex are...
Cat Conjuress
Crimson Avenger
Dynamo Dusk
La Femme Dakota
the Voluptuous and Vicious Vixen
and the winner of the slaggie is...
Congrats, the Voluptuous and Vicious Vixen

*see the Voluptuous and Vicious Vixen slink onto the dais and reveal her acceptance speech below.

Via Satellite link-up, our next presenter is... Armed Trigger

I don't have much time as this link is very sketchy at the moment so...
The nominees for the Ssnnicktt Award for Most Lethal are...
Batgirl
Cat Conjuress
Caterwaul
La Femme Dakota
Trixi Whip Lash
and the winner of the slaggie is...
Congrats, La Femme Dakota

*look through your aim-sights at La Femme Dakota's acceptance speech below.

Up next to present is... Frigga

Granted, the lodge brings out the worst in ALL of us but with all the dazzling special abilities it became down-right scary at times.
Hopefully, we all can fight for the side of right. I certainly know my right side. *wink*
I share the wish "Beware the Bad-side" to...

The nominees for the Most Likely to become a Villain are...
Armed Trigger
Batgirl
Caterwaul
King Neptune
Skel-A-Rectile
and the winner of the slaggie is... weee...my date!!!
Congrats, Skel-A-Rectile!

*keep your eye out for Skel-A-Rectile's turn to the dark side below.

Our last attempt at salvaging the budget...

The nominees for the IronMan2® Summer Smash(ed) Award are...
Armed Trigger
CanDangler
King Neptune
Phantom Blindside
Royal Grouper
and the winner of the slaggie is...
Congrats, Royal Grouper!

*put your 3D glasses on for the Royal Grouper's Big 32" below.

Finally, to present the award for Loser Lodge Winner here is... Crimson Avenger
Crimson?
Oh, Avenger?!
Now, where did she get to?
*puts finger to ear*
Oh, I'm being told she's in the bathroom.
*turns head*
Mic her! Now!
.
.
.
are you %*@#^ing kidding me?
Get the %*@#^ out of here! Before I slice your right hand off!
.
.
.
Okay...
I can't wait.
After many months of dealing with horrifying disasters, mucking through carp, busting balls and Super Loser Logues, it all comes down to this moment. Despite the moniker of loser...

The nominees for the Loser Lodge Winner are...
Candangler
Pegasus
Sagittarius
Trixi Whip Lash
the Voluptuous and Vicious Vixen
and the winner of the slaggie is...
Congrats, Trixi Whip Lash!

*look for Trixi Whip Lash's to bask in the glow of winning, as a loser.

*tribe, sans Captain Nepharious outfit, steps onto the stage and up to the microphone*
Thank you very much, folks. It's been an Incredible season. Some infamous times were had and ... what?
Oh yes.
I almost forgot.
The long awaited award for the Swoop-Master.
Yes, as Super-Losers are apt to, some of them can fly, and some of those that can fly can also swoop!
And we certainly had some super swooping going on!
All of those who swooped received 69 points, congrats.
But I wasn't done, then I threw your namesakes in a hat, twirled my hand around mixing the chits, then grabbed a slip.
The nominees for LL12 Super Swoop Star are...

CanDangler
Hemiptera
Sagittarius
Sarcastia
Trixi Whip Lash
and the winner of the slaggie is...
Congrats, Trixi Whip Lash!

*look for Trixi to show up at just the right moment and wow the crowds with her acceptance speech below.

Okay, I really do have to go now as I suppose Caterwaul and Pegasus have grabbed King Neptune and Armed Trigger, forming a Captain Nepharious Lynching Mob. So tata for now!
*dissappears in a poof of phunny smelling smoke*