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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-19-05, 11:56 AM (EST) "Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" LAST EDITED ON 10-19-05 AT 12:06 PM (EST) (ETA: or is that Bottom of the Lauren?) Let's have some snarky replies to some snarky questions about this week's train wreck! Newcomers welcome! Here we go! 1. When was the last time Stassi Schroeder got that upset about “every minute counts”? 2. What do Mark Schroeder’s former cow-orkers from the subdivision near Fairview Riverside State Park remember most about him? 3. Why didn’t lightning strike the Paolos at the Talladega speedway? 4. Pick at least one team and describe what conveyance would have been more appropriate for them to get around the Talladega racetrack. 5. Why didn’t Wally Bransen have much of a problem with his daughter Lauren mooning the Linzes? 6. So far in this Race, the families have had to ascend a giant shoe and a giant patio chair. What other unusually large objects should they find and ascend later in the Race? 7. What should the jazz band have been playing as the Racers entered the Pit Stop? 8. Pick at least one team and tell what they thought "Southern Colonel" really stood for. 9. What did Les, the BP station guy who was mobbed while handing out clues to the Racers, do after this episode? 10. As the Race goes on, the Gaghan kids are finding there are tasks they can't necessarily perform. At the same time (as Zipperhead points out in his summary), Tammy Gaghan seems to be getting hotter leg by leg. Explain this phenomenon. BONUS: What will the Linzes do to get back at the Bransens for mooning them? "Cygnus needs no defending - his position is undefendable." --Google   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom o... Snidget 10-19-05 1  RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom o... Seana 10-19-05 2  RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom o... Max Headroom 10-19-05 3  RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom o... Molaholic 10-20-05 4    RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom o... Cygnus X1 10-20-05 5    RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom o... zipperhead 10-20-05 7  RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom o... mikey 10-20-05 6    RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom o... Lisa0116 10-20-05 8  RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom o... cahaya 10-21-05 9  RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom o... ARnutz 10-21-05 10    RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom o... Cygnus X1 10-21-05 11        RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom o... ARnutz 10-22-05 12  RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom o... KeithFan 10-22-05 13

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Snidget 44369 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-19-05, 12:47 PM (EST) 1. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" 1. When was the last time Stassi Schroeder got that upset about “every minute counts”? The cell phone bill that arrived before the race began 2. What do Mark Schroeder’s former cow-orkers from the subdivision near Fairview Riverside State Park remember most about him? Wandering around in circles lost 3. Why didn’t lightning strike the Paolos at the Talladega speedway? God isn't ready for the dressing down he is gonna get when Mrs. Paolo gets to heaven and explains how everything he did was wrong and if he had JUST LISTENED to her for once... 4. Pick at least one team and describe what conveyance would have been more appropriate for them to get around the Talladega racetrack. The Godlewske sisters in one of those Barbie cars kids ride up and down the street in. 5. Why didn’t Wally Bransen have much of a problem with his daughter Lauren mooning the Linzes? He gets a percentage of the money they make on the internet from things such as that. This will just bring even more traffic to the site. 6. So far in this Race, the families have had to ascend a giant shoe and a giant patio chair. What other unusually large objects should they find and ascend later in the Race? The World's Largest Frying Pan in Rose Hill, NC 7. What should the jazz band have been playing as the Racers entered the Pit Stop? She'll be Coming Round the Mountain when she comes 8. Pick at least one team and tell what they thought "Southern Colonel" really stood for. The Weavers thought it was one of those nice preacher men they watch on TV that taught them the power of prayer. 9. What did Les, the BP station guy who was mobbed while handing out clues to the Racers, do after this episode? Once the nice young men in the clean white coats caught him after a several mile chase he sits and smiles and twiddles his thumbs and toes. 10. As the Race goes on, the Gaghan kids are finding there are tasks they can't necessarily perform. At the same time (as Zipperhead points out in his summary), Tammy Gaghan seems to be getting hotter leg by leg. Explain this phenomenon. She has the ability to slowly suck the life force out of cameramen. BONUS: What will the Linzes do to get back at the Bransens for mooning them? Divert the profits from the aforementioned internet site to their own accounts. Lost with PhoenixMons   Top

Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-19-05, 01:47 PM (EST) 2. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" 1. When was the last time Stassi Schroeder got that upset about “every minute counts”? When she didn't want to go home, but her curfew was soon... 2. What do Mark Schroeder’s former cow-orkers from the subdivision near Fairview Riverside State Park remember most about him? His ability to discern between ridiculous fantasy (policeman knows where something in his jurisdiction is) and the sweet truth (TAR producers would never make it easy to find the next clue by using a place that could be found in a phone book) 3. Why didn’t lightning strike the Paolos at the Talladega speedway? Lightening only strikes you if you lie. They're just loud and obnoxious. 4. Pick at least one team and describe what conveyance would have been more appropriate for them to get around the Talladega racetrack. The Gaghans: their own feet. Marathon runners, right? The Bransens: a rickshaw for Dad (who would still prolly get winded. 5. Why didn’t Wally Bransen have much of a problem with his daughter Lauren mooning the Linzes? Wally is not in charge, so what he thinks doesn't matter anyway. 6. So far in this Race, the families have had to ascend a giant shoe and a giant patio chair. What other unusually large objects should they find and ascend later in the Race? Maybe the really huge bed just outside of Cambridge, Ontario? 7. What should the jazz band have been playing as the Racers entered the Pit Stop? Aren't jazz bands in New Orleans obligated to continuously play "When the Saints Go Marchin' In?" 8. Pick at least one team and tell what they thought "Southern Colonel" really stood for. The Bransen (Think Alabama, think ugly) - A bucket of something. 9. What did Les, the BP station guy who was mobbed while handing out clues to the Racers, do after this episode? Went home, changed his clothes and took a long, hot shower. These people have been wearing the same clothes for weeks and spent the last night in trailers with no running water. 10. As the Race goes on, the Gaghan kids are finding there are tasks they can't necessarily perform. At the same time (as Zipperhead points out in his summary), Tammy Gaghan seems to be getting hotter leg by leg. Explain this phenomenon. The kids are getting tired. Mom is just getting warmed up. BONUS: What will the Linzes do to get back at the Bransens for mooning them? Probably fart in their general direction. Jetez la vache!   Top

Max Headroom 10069 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-19-05, 03:00 PM (EST) 3. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" 1. When was the last time Stassi Schroeder got that upset about “every minute counts”? When she watched the TARF broadcasts and noticed how little screen time she got. 2. What do Mark Schroeder’s former cow-orkers from the subdivision near Fairview Riverside State Park remember most about him? That he was always late. He couldn't find the place. 3. Why didn’t lightning strike the Paolos at the Talladega speedway? Since bickering is not a sin, the Paolos had no worries. 4. Pick at least one team and describe what conveyance would have been more appropriate for them to get around the Talladega racetrack. Linzes- A bus powered by natural gas. Weavers- A NASCAR car sponsored by Prozac. Gaghans- Tuk-tuks from Bangkok, Thailand. (World travelers, eh?) 5. Why didn’t Wally Bransen have much of a problem with his daughter Lauren mooning the Linzes? Kids will be kids. At least she's not drinking or doing drugs. 6. So far in this Race, the families have had to ascend a giant shoe and a giant patio chair. What other unusually large objects should they find and ascend later in the Race? The world's largest basket/building in Dresden, Ohio. Yeah, the one DW dragged me to a few years back. 7. What should the jazz band have been playing as the Racers entered the Pit Stop? When the Saints Come Marching In... 8. Pick at least one team and tell what they thought "Southern Colonel" really stood for. The Godlewskis were trying to figure out how a colonial ended up in Alabama. Weren't the colonies located in the Northeast? 9. What did Les, the BP station guy who was mobbed while handing out clues to the Racers, do after this episode? He resumed his exciting life of selling 99-cent hot dogs to unwashed truck drivers. 10. As the Race goes on, the Gaghan kids are finding there are tasks they can't necessarily perform. At the same time (as Zipperhead points out in his summary), Tammy Gaghan seems to be getting hotter leg by leg. Explain this phenomenon. It's a relativistic kind of effect, summarized in the following limerick: There once was a woman named Bright, Who traveled much faster than light. She left home one day, In a relative way, And returned home the previous night. BONUS: What will the Linzes do to get back at the Bransens for mooning them? Tommy will eat several extra helpings of garlic-enhanced chili before seating himself in the middle of the Bransens during an upcoming 12-hour bus ride.   Top

Molaholic 9015 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-20-05, 00:31 AM (EST) 4. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" Usual disclaimer -- I do post before reading. Honestly. 1. When was the last time Stassi Schroeder got that upset about “every minute counts”? Standing on line for the porta-potty at the Washington Crossing campground. She was behind Tony Aiello. 2. What do Mark Schroeder’s former co-workers from the subdivision near Fairview Riverside State Park remember most about him? For some reason, he always took 17 hours to drive that last half mile. 3. Why didn’t lightning strike the Paolos at the Talladega speedway? What, and get Mama Paolo pissed off at The Big Guy? 4. Pick at least one team and describe what conveyance would have been more appropriate for them to get around the Talladega racetrack. The Paolos riding a Dominos Pizza delivery mini Cooper. 5. Why didn’t Wally Bransen have much of a problem with his daughter Lauren mooning the Linzes? He has no clue. He thought "mooning" involved cows. 6. So far in this Race, the families have had to ascend a giant shoe and a giant patio chair. What other unusually large objects should they find and ascend later in the Race? Phil's Oobies They'll have to clean out the 120-foot tall playpen behind Michael's bedroom at Neverland. 7. What should the jazz band have been playing as the Racers entered the Pit Stop? A rousing Na'lins funeral dirge. 8. Pick at least one team and tell what they thought "Southern Colonel" really stood for. The Godlewskis thought it was a state -- that one next to the Great Lake Northern Colonial. 9. What did Les, the BP station guy who was mobbed while handing out clues to the Racers, do after this episode? Something completely a-typical for any of those mini-market guys. Wash his hands. 10. As the Race goes on, the Gaghan kids are finding there are tasks they can't necessarily perform. At the same time (as Zipperhead points out in his summary), Tammy Gaghan seems to be getting hotter leg by leg. Explain this phenomenon. Zipperhead is just sick. Dangerously sick. BONUS: What will the Linzes do to get back at the Bransens for mooning them? Share their secret short cut to the next Pit Stop.   Top

Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-20-05, 00:44 AM (EST) 5. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" 7. What should the jazz band have been playing as the Racers entered the Pit Stop? A rousing Na'lins funeral dirge. I like the one from the *original* Longest Yard, after Burt Reynolds took out Ray Nitzchke with some well-placed passes: Daaaaaa daaaaaa da-daaaaaa daaa-da boom boom boom 6. So far in this Race, the families have had to ascend a giant shoe and a giant patio chair. What other unusually large objects should they find and ascend later in the Race? Phil's Oobies Hey! I resemble that!   Top

zipperhead 3442 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 10-20-05, 01:38 PM (EST) 7. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" Zipperhead is just sick. Dangerously sick. - molaholic 10/20/05 You must realize that I am now going to use this ocassionally as my tag line.   Top

mikey 1150 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 10-20-05, 12:52 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" > >1. When was the last >time Stassi Schroeder got that >upset about “every minute counts”? > Like all New Orleans residents, it was a plea to President Bush and FEMA after the hurricane. > >2. What do Mark Schroeder’s >former cow-orkers from the subdivision >near Fairview Riverside State Park >remember most about him? > Lunches with him in the Fairview Riverside State Park, the weekly company softball games in the Fairview Riverside State Park, and the way when someone asked him for directions to anywhere he said "it is near the Fairview Riverside State Park." >3. Why didn’t lightning strike >the Paolos at the Talladega >speedway? > Lightning did strike -- the Paolos finished second. >4. Pick at least one >team and describe what conveyance >would have been more appropriate >for them to get around >the Talladega racetrack. > Bransen daughters -- same bikes, no seats. (I will leave the obvious but inappropriate joke about the Weavers to someone else). >5. Why didn’t Wally Bransen >have much of a problem >with his daughter Lauren mooning >the Linzes? > He wanted to see her tight little butt as well. >6. So far in this >Race, the families have had >to ascend a giant shoe >and a giant patio chair. > What other unusually large >objects should they find and >ascend later in the Race? > Rodents of ususual size. > >7. What should the jazz >band have been playing as >the Racers entered the Pit >Stop? > National anthems of all the countries the teams aren't visiting this season. >8. Pick at least one >team and tell what they >thought "Southern Colonel" really stood >for. > Godlewski -- It is a state just south of North Colonel. >9. What did Les, the >BP station guy who was >mobbed while handing out clues >to the Racers, do after >this episode? > Less >10. As the Race goes on, >the Gaghan kids are finding >there are tasks they can't >necessarily perform. At the >same time (as Zipperhead points >out in his summary), Tammy >Gaghan seems to be getting >hotter leg by leg. >Explain this phenomenon. > If the kids don't come through, Tammy Gaghan may need to find another way to make money. >BONUS: What will the Linzes do >to get back at the >Bransens for mooning them? Obviously, they have stolen the Bransens' lifetime supply of gas.   Top

Lisa0116 688 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 10-20-05, 03:04 PM (EST) 8. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" >>2. What do Mark Schroeder’s >>former cow-orkers from the subdivision >>near Fairview Riverside State Park >>remember most about him? >> >Lunches with him in the Fairview >Riverside State Park, the weekly >company softball games in the >Fairview Riverside State Park, and >the way when someone asked >him for directions to anywhere >he said "it is near >the Fairview Riverside State Park." >>4. Pick at least one >>team and describe what conveyance >>would have been more appropriate >>for them to get around >>the Talladega racetrack. >> >Bransen daughters -- same bikes, no >seats. >(I will leave the obvious but >inappropriate joke about the Weavers >to someone else). > >>5. Why didn’t Wally Bransen >>have much of a problem >>with his daughter Lauren mooning >>the Linzes? >> >He wanted to see her tight >little butt as well. BWAHAHAHA!!!! Too funny!!!   Top

cahaya 19891 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-21-05, 06:11 PM (EST) 9. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" 1. When was the last time Stassi Schroeder got that upset about every minute counts? In the back seat of a car... without a family member present. 2. What do Mark Schroeder’s former cow-orkers from the subdivision near Fairview Riverside State Park remember most about him? He was udderly worthless, always chewing on his cud. 3. Why didn’t lightning strike the Paolos at the Talladega speedway? The Old Man upstairs isn't ready to welcome Marion Paolo into heaven just yet. 4. Pick at least one team and describe what conveyance would have been more appropriate for them to get around the Talladega racetrack. The Paolo family in a Mafia limo. 5. Why didn’t Wally Bransen have much of a problem with his daughter Lauren mooning the Linzes? Dare we say he spanked those same bottoms in disciplinary action many moons ago? 6. So far in this Race, the families have had to ascend a giant shoe and a giant patio chair. What other unusually large objects should they find and ascend later in the Race? Ask Goldilocks, who would tell you that the giant bed comes next. 7. What should the jazz band have been playing as the Racers entered the Pit Stop? Blackjack. 8. Pick at least one team and tell what they thought "Southern Colonel" really stood for. Any team from Yankee territory, expecting it to be a new southern-style fried chicken franchise. 9. What did Les, the BP station guy who was mobbed while handing out clues to the Racers, do after this episode? File a report to British Petroleum HQ in London. 10. As the Race goes on, the Gaghan kids are finding there are tasks they can't necessarily perform. At the same time (as Zipperhead points out in his summary), Tammy Gaghan seems to be getting hotter leg by leg. Explain this phenomenon. It's prime time of the month. BONUS: What will the Linzes do to get back at the Bransens for mooning them? Marry them (and yes, that means three couples, so you figure the rest out). A spooky tribephyl creation   Top

ARnutz 13937 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-21-05, 07:01 PM (EST) 10. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" Wow! I actually have time to do one of these! Nutzboy's football game was postponed due to rain (pffft! they didn't postpone last week's game! Mis.er.Y!), so I'm home on a rare Friday looking for something to occupy my little brain! 1. When was the last time Stassi Schroeder got that upset about “every minute counts”? When she was working at the local McDonald's drive thru! 2. What do Mark Schroeder’s former cow-orkers from the subdivision near Fairview Riverside State Park remember most about him? cow-orkers? *snort* Probably that his family shouldn't be invited to the company picnic! 3. Why didn’t lightning strike the Paolos at the Talladega speedway? Lightning never strikes the same place twice and it's apparent they've been zapped before because the neurons ain't exactly working like they should! 4. Pick at least one team and describe what conveyance would have been more appropriate for them to get around the Talladega racetrack. The Gaghan's really could've used something with training wheels! 5. Why didn’t Wally Bransen have much of a problem with his daughter Lauren mooning the Linzes? He's seen that @ss before! must.keep.it PG-13 6. So far in this Race, the families have had to ascend a giant shoe and a giant patio chair. What other unusually large objects should they find and ascend later in the Race? The world's largest ball of twine and Mt. Everest 7. What should the jazz band have been playing as the Racers entered the Pit Stop? I don't know, but probably something by Louis Armstrong. 8. Pick at least one team and tell what they thought "Southern Colonel" really stood for. The Paolos: They thought it was a lovely center hall 2 story home complete with a wrap-around porch! 9. What did Les, the BP station guy who was mobbed while handing out clues to the Racers, do after this episode? First he washed his hands, then he had a microwaved wiener (which gave him a lot of gas) before retiring to his double-wide for the evening. 10. As the Race goes on, the Gaghan kids are finding there are tasks they can't necessarily perform. At the same time (as Zipperhead points out in his summary), Tammy Gaghan seems to be getting hotter leg by leg. Explain this phenomenon. The kids are just bored and don't want to do it anymore and Tammy is having hot flashes! Pssst! Zipperhead is a "she". BONUS: What will the Linzes do to get back at the Bransens for mooning them? I say... PANTS THEM ALL! (except Wally) The Linz boys probably want to see that moon again! 'nutz: Proud member of the inoffensive OT Triumvirate... and Shroomhater! - shroom go boom!   Top

Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-21-05, 11:24 PM (EST) 11. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" Pssst! Zipperhead is a "she". You? Are not serious. Is this like meeting Libra all over again?   Top

ARnutz 13937 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-22-05, 10:27 AM (EST) 12. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" Ooops! I think I have them confused with someone else. Sorry for the confusion. *turns beat red with embarrassment* Sorry zipperhead!   Top

KeithFan 7422 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-22-05, 10:34 PM (EST) 13. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Episode 4, Bottom of the 8th" 1. When was the last time Stassi Schroeder got that upset about “every minute counts”? She has been dating teenage boys, right? 2. What do Mark Schroeder’s former cow-orkers from the subdivision near Fairview Riverside State Park remember most about him? Being able to stretch a 15 minute break into 2 hours because he "got lost going for a pack of smokes" 3. Why didn’t lightning strike the Paolos at the Talladega speedway? Marion made Brian take off his tinfoil hat 4. Pick at least one team and describe what conveyance would have been more appropriate for them to get around the Talladega racetrack. Weavers... a golden chariot? 5. Why didn’t Wally Bransen have much of a problem with his daughter Lauren mooning the Linzes? Wally Bransen, pimpin' since 1980 6. So far in this Race, the families have had to ascend a giant shoe and a giant patio chair. What other unusually large objects should they find and ascend later in the Race? The world's largest pheasant is in Huron, SD...do they go anywhere near there? 7. What should the jazz band have been playing as the Racers entered the Pit Stop? Rock You Like a Hurricane by the Scorpions 8. Pick at least one team and tell what they thought "Southern Colonel" really stood for. Marion Paolo- she didn't care what it was as long as there was fried chicken involved. 9. What did Les, the BP station guy who was mobbed while handing out clues to the Racers, do after this episode? Registered the domain name LestheBPstud.com and cashed in big time with his "gas hose" impersonation 10. As the Race goes on, the Gaghan kids are finding there are tasks they can't necessarily perform. At the same time (as Zipperhead points out in his summary), Tammy Gaghan seems to be getting hotter leg by leg. Explain this phenomenon. Bill Sr and "Big Will" have been working OT also   Top

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