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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Moving Advice"
Coconut 10856 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-27-04, 10:46 AM (EST)
 
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"Moving Advice" |
Well, Luminou got a job offer this week which would mean moving to another city. For the life of us, we cannot decide whether or not this would be a good idea. On the one hand, the job pays better than his present job and would help him develop different skills that would make him more marketable. The company offering the job is also more stable than his current company. However, it's a routine job, which means he would be bored inside two years. The new job would also be shift work instead of nine-to-five. If we moved, I would have to start looking for work again. Right now (mainly due to a small talent pool, I admit), I'm the best non-permanent English teacher in the region. I can walk into any language school and most of the colleges and get a job. In the new city, I'd have to start from scratch at a time when I'd rather just work with half a brain and concentrate on my new family. I'm not sure I'm ready to stay home full time, especially without my own money. Houses are twice as expensive down there. We'd have to give up this house, which we've spent three years renovating (and have almost finished) and move into a totally new home. That said, this house does have some serious design flaws, and we'd have the fun of putting a new place together. However, if I'm not working, will we be able to afford a reasonable house? We'd be closer to his family. And we'd be closer to his family. If you know what I mean.  You may notice I'm leaning towards staying here. However, Luminou and I would both like to hear your thoughts on the matter. Help us decide, please!
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brvnkrz 20491 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-27-04, 10:55 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Moving Advice" |
I'm sorry, I don't know how old your kids are, but here is my input from experience. If the kids are under 10 years old, they will probably adapt easily enough, however if the kids are any older than that, keep in mind how they will adjust. I moved away from my home town when I was 11 years old and it wasn't until I was well into my 20's that I recovered. Alsokeep in mind the bored factor for the new job. There is nothing worse than picking up and moving and then 2 years down the line regretting it. However, I am a creature of comfort so that's just my opinion.
Plus there is the in law factor. 
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brvnkrz 20491 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-27-04, 11:08 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Taking every opportunity..." |
Well how cute are we? Put a smile on my face this morning.
I have to agree on the furry friends. I am stuck in my house for a while because kitties couldn't take the move.
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Puffy 6702 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-01-04, 03:01 AM (EST)
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33. "RE: Taking every opportunity..." |
He's 6 weeks old already??!!??!! Time sure flies..so cute, very very cute.
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frisky 11695 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-27-04, 10:59 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: Moving Advice" |
I can almost read the answer in your post.Pros: better pay, job stability, skills development Cons: your heart is saying no (just my interpretation of your post) I say go with your heart. The thing that got me is the shift work. Shift worker couples that I know have completely different relationships. For some people, it works well because they don't get along. For the people who do get along, they miss each other's company. Would he be working weekends? Weekends are really the only prime family time once the kids hit school, which is going to happen before you know it. Can you go spend a weekend in the other city and just spend time there? Drive around neighbourhoods and look at the schools and the parks and the grocery stores and imagine yourselves living there and being happy there? Is being closer to family a good thing?  
Card-carrying RBBRTFHLA/Sugar Ho Division
Non-Embezzling GAWKUR Treasurer
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Swami 5885 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-27-04, 12:08 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Moving Advice" |
What Tech said about balancing the salary increase against the cost of living in the new city.Plus, you said he was 'offered' the job. Was he looking or was it a cold offer? Either way, it would be worth it to see what other opportunities may be out there for him that would be better locations for you. I must admit, 4 days on, four days off sounds pretty nice to me in terms of family togetherness--it's way more than I have with my DH. These are 12 hour shifts?, so it's either day or night? Has Luminou ever worked alternating shifts? Because some people adjust easily & some become human zombies. FWIW - Moving with a baby is a bit hectic but not traumatic. Moving with a toddler is way harder--on them & on you.
- It is nice to be within a few hours drive of family so you can fairly easily visit, be as involved as you want to be in each other's lives, and pitch in when there is an emergency. It is also nice to be far enough away that ILs don't just show up on your doorstep regularly/weekly/daily/whenever. 
The King is dead. The Crown is tarnished. (Well, it's blurred anyway...) 
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Tiggertramp 3141 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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02-27-04, 12:42 PM (EST)
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23. "Wiggle room" |
If it's an offer, how good is it?? Is there wiggle room?? Negotiate negotiate negotiate. Tell them you need moving costs, need more vacation, need more time up front for moving, (and adjustment due to baby and wife having to leave place she loves too). World is YOUR oyster baby. You really have the power here. If they want him, you have wiggle room. Take a look at the toen, and prices of real estate, and your job market in the area, and day cares, and their prices, schools, crime, taxes, development. research research research. This could be the beginning of something great for you all, or not. You just had an offer. Bow the work looking into that offer has to start. You have leverage, remember that. And no matter what remember that what you have now is great. That brownie is lookin pretty good huh? Hang in there sweetie!
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Chrissy gal 1413 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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02-27-04, 12:58 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Moving Advice" |
Story time!!When my oldest son was 18 months old and I was VERY pregnant with our second child, it became apparent that he was not seeing enough of his father. He would look for his dad during the day and be too tired at night to spend enough time with his dad to satisfy his need. We decided that my husband should move to a job on swing shift so he would have more time with our son when the second child arrived. It was the BEST decision we could have made. My husband is very close to our sons because he had a lot of bonding time during their early years. However (and there is always one of those), he moved back to day shift when our kids started school. My husband was fortunate enough to be able to find a day shift job when he wanted one, but things don't always work out that well. Now for my advice - Remember that your baby's childhood is very short and he needs both of you to be there for him as much as possible. Choose something that allows for a good work-life balance!
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kiki_k 1444 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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02-27-04, 05:41 PM (EST)
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32. "My two cents" |
Big changes are always scary and people, by nature, are more comfortable with the familiar. So, you need to determine if your wanting to stay put is about staying "with the familiar" -- if so, you should go for the change. To me, the two big things I see here are: this job would make him more marketable. The company offering the job is also more stable than his current company. And remember, he wouldn't have to stay in this job forever -- when the "two year rut" sets in, he can move on. Also, with your qualifications, I really don't predict a difficult time for you getting new employment. Finally, even though I know exactly what you mean by you'll be "closer to his family," don't under-estimate the advantages that can spell now that you have a baby -- and I don't mean babysitting. It is important, imo, for kids to have a sense of a lot of "family" around them and to build on those relationships.
Anyway, whatever your decision, good luck!
compliments of GeorgiaBelle
All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way
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