LAST EDITED ON 04-04-05 AT 08:45 AM (EST)

This season on the bachelor will be different, just ask Chris Harrison the host. He will tell you about 50 times to expect the unexpected.

Our bachelor this time is 29 year old Charlie O'Connell. He has done some acting, mainly with his brother, Jerry. (Jerry was in the movie Jerry Maquire, and on Crossing Jordan.) No trouble seeing the family resemblance with these two, at all.

Charlie wanted more reality, gee what do you mean? Don’t tell me that renting out the Hollywood Bowl, concerts with Vanessa Williams, and Cinderella type carriage rides aren’t part of everyone’s reality, every day.

They are again in New York, which is where Charlie lives part time. The mantra that Chris stated at the beginning of the show was "No limos, no gowns, and no rules."

So first, the 25 girls get woken up in their hotel rooms, and are told they have five minutes to be ready, and get to the ball room. This will be the first meeting with Jerry, oops I mean Charlie.

The girls freak out, and call it bizarre and crazy. They rush out of their rooms in various states of dress, some fully clothed, like they had been up for hours, and one just runs out in a bikini.

Then there is Danushka,

She was wearing a jogging suit with dark sunglasses. Obviously, she felt in no hurry. She is slowly walking, and said "I don't run for men". And referred to how bad it was to be woken up early.(One of the room clocks showed 8:34 am, I didn't realize that was that early. But looking at Danushka, she probably had a rough night.)

The girls are then treated to a video of Charlie's life, with clips including big brother Jerry and the house they also share in California. We also got to meet the parents. Charlie said that he was looking for a nice, fun girl, who likes to laugh. Dad added that his mother would not approve of floozies. (Sorry, Charlie, that knocks about half of your field out already.) As for the girls, they seem excited. I’m not sure if they realize, it’s only Charlie, not both Charlie and Jerry that will be there. No girls, this is not like last season where you had to choose between the men.

Chris decided that it was finally time for the girls to meet Charlie in person. Since first impressions are so important, they each got two minutes to talk with Charlie and he had two roses to hand out during this speed dating session.

First girl was Anitra

She is a 29 year old make up artist from Manhattan Beach, CA. she showed up in a little wrap, that looked much like a bath towel, with two little straps holding it around her neck. He liked her nose ring, and asked if she had any tattoos, she said yes. However, she couldn't show him since she didn't want to hike up her "towel". Thank goodness, we must keep this show PG-13 since it is on Disney owned ABC, after all.

Carrie, 27, computer specialist from Minneapolis. Her into line was "friends don't shake hands, friends hug." (Whatever. Although, I do give her credit for trying to get a good feel of his body that quickly.)

Jenny, 23, marketing specialist from Canada. Brought in champagne glasses, and toasted to new adventures. She then challenged Charlie to chug it. Then complained about the cold, so she snuggled up next to him. (I guess her idea is to charm the guy, get him drunk, and then make your move, so he doesn't even realize what's happening. Just may work, we'll see.) Charlie then revealed a deep dark secret, that he has always wanted to be a member of the A-team.

Kristen, a 30 year old first grade teacher from Boston. All we learn during her time is that she loves kids, and that Charlie's mother is also a teacher.

Brenda is a sales coordiantor from New York City. She told Charlie that she owned a motorcycle. He asked if she wore a helmet, could pop a wheelie, and if she wanted a hug. (My only comment on her was when was the last time she had a good hair cut -- her hair style reminded me of Leather Tuscadaro from Happy Days, only longer)

Kristina, a 27 year old writer from Brooklyn. She went on the Bachelor because someone else was picking the perfect guy, and she hoped he was it for her. She felt like she needed to be unforgettable during her two minutes, and that she failed. (She was kind of cute, but I say buh-bye already.)

Kimberly, a swimsuit model from Canada. She plopped down on Charlie's lap. She mentioned that she is Ukranian, and that she can cook. (Yeah, right. he really cares that you can cook or what your nationality is, when you're sitting on his lap, and your shirt is unbuttoned to see your bra, and your cleavage, as large a Pamela Anderson's, is stuck in his face.)

Krisily, is a bartender, dancer, Harley riding girl, that can be a little b#t#hy at times. (This is all according to her.) Charlie noticed a tattoo, on her back as she left, and reprimanded himself for forgetting to ask about tattoos. He feels like a girl getting a tattoo is a good sign, and that she is willing to make mistakes, but doesn't know about getting them removed. (Okay, Charlie, sweetie, you lost me on that. Not sure how that means she is willing to make a mistake, care to decipher for me?)

Kyshawn, yet another bartender. She is from Nashville. This was a strange conversation. She asked tattoos or piercings. Charlie said piercings. He asked bad breath or snotty nose. She responded snotty nose is better. He then asked her to check his breath, which she said was fine. That was it.

Siomara, a loan officer from Chicago. They spoke some Spanish.

Emilie, is a 27 year old, technology salesperson from Chicago. Their time was spent doing thumb wars. If she won, she would have gotten the first rose. She lost, so didn't get a rose. (Foreshadowing perhaps? Why on earth would you think playing thumb war with a hot guy you just met will impress him?)

Debby, a 25 year old, flight attendant from Canada. She gave Charlie a samba lesson. (I honestly don't know what he was trying to do, but it looked more like Irish clog dancing than samba.)

Sarah W., a fashion designer from LA. Charlie complimented her eyes. She said that she was into extreme sports like snowboarding, downhill mountain biking. He must have wanted proof, so she shows some scars. And for that, she was rewarded with the first rose of the season.

When Sarah walked out, she got the looks from hell. Can you see the cat fights brewing here already.

Kristine, another swimsuit model. She wasted no time in letting us know this. She stipped out of her little black dress, and had nothing on but a hot pink bikini. She joined Charlie on the couch, and pulls a piece of paper from her top. (Now isn't that just classy?) The paper contained an absolutely horrible poem that she wrote for him. As she was reading the poem, he laid his head on her shoulder. (He said the poem made him a bit uncomfortable, but there was no way he was getting off of the couch -- well, duh! How many men would?) She doesn't get a rose, but he pulls a flower off of a plant, and she gave him her bikini top. (Which she pulled off from under her dress. Again classy, classy, classy.)

Geitan, a 30 year old realtor from Newport Beach, CA. Walked in clucking like a chicken. (At least it was original, but that's best I can say it.) She sat on his lap, and said that she was on a farm, and decided to imitate the chicken, for no reason.

Katie, a 25 year old resort accountant from Tempe, AZ. She wasn't aggressive or anything, yeah right. As soon as she sat down, she said she wanted to kiss him. His face said it all, it must have been horrible. He didn't feel anything, but thanked her for the kiss.

Gina Marie, she is from Fort Lauderdale, and is a bartender. She is a former NFL cheerleader, so Charlie challenged her to a kick contest. Sad thing is that he won.

Valerie, a 28 year old executive assistant from Wayne, NJ. She was wearing a very short top, so he noticed a beely button ring, right away. So he asked about tattoos, she then proceded to inch her jeans down, and show him. As he described it, it was downtown. But obviously not worth a rose.

Sarah B. She is a labor and delivery nurse from McKinney, TX. She trained him in some of the techniques that she uses at work to help the mothers giving birth, and so they were screaming push, and counting to 10. He really liked her, but she gave a wimpy hug, so no rose for her.

Kara, a nanny from Woodland Hills, CA. Said that she was a good girl, and brought up with Southern values. Her reply to the craziest thing she ever did was "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." He seemed to like her, and said that they would have to go to Vegas if she makes it to the end.

Kerry, a 32 year old, Director of Mergers and Acquisitions from Chicago. She looks fairly demure, but said that she is a total adventure girl. She likes water sports, but doesn't sail, so maybe he can teach her. He must want to, since he gave out his last rose to her.

Megan, she is 23 from Tallahassee. She is in retail marketing, translation -- works the counter at a clothing store. All we learn about her is that her tan is real, not fake.

Kindle, she is a pro basketball dancer. Said that she didn't have a problem dating an older man. He asked if she had a boyfriend, and she, of course, said no. (He must have watched Andrew Firestone's season, and remembered Kirsten.)

Lastly, Danushka. She is a 30 year old fashion model. He looked though her purse, since she was the only one who had one. Found that she already had taken hotel items. He felt that she was very confident.

Charlie looks overwhelmed (I would be too. Where did some of these girls get their names – Geitan, Kindle, and Krisily to name a few, and so many K names also, I’m already at a loss.) But Chris comes to his rescue, kind of. Chris tells him that was the last girl, but he now had a few minutes to decide, and he had to send 5 girls home, but leaves him pictures and names of all 25. Charlie didn't think this was nice, and he didn't know ahead of time that he would have to cut this fast.

With absolutely no frivolity, Chris gathered the girls together. Charlie called off the girls names that he wanted to have leave, and they just walked out of the room. He cut Kristina, Brenda (who commented that he just didn't like brunettes.), Debbie, Katie, and Heather

(I know you are asking who? I had to look her up also. They never showed her time with Charlie, I guess it was a terrible two minutes.

The remaining 20 girls then got to move into a brownstone building. When they arrived, they thought it was beautiful, until they saw the bedroom. It had all 20 beds in there, all in bunks. (My first thought was, "welcome back to age 10, and summer camp.)

Chris arrived, and told them there will be 3 dates. Charlie will call to invite them on dates, but it is up to the girls to decide who will go on each date, other than that, no rules. Each date would have two roses up for grabs.

The first date was to go to a dive bar and play pool. The girls decided which 5 would go on the first date, and went to get ready. Kindle was not one of the 5 chosen. She decided for herself though that she would go. She got ready, and waited at the door so she would be the first one there, and would be guaranteed a spot. Carrie was the sixth in line, so couldn't go. So she went back to the suite to pout with the rest of the girls.

The 5 girls and Charlie arrived at the dive bar, and started shooting pool. He then pulled Kindle aside for some one on one. During their conversation, she keeps stressing the point that she really is a nice girl, even though she ended up kicking someone else off of the date. (Kindle, honey, if you keep having to say how nice you are to everyone, you really aren’t that nice. But if you keep saying it, maybe you will end up believing it yourself, one day. Nah!)

She ends up teaching him some dance moves – again, Charlie, you really better not give up your other jobs, cause trust me, you would never make it by dancing. Charlie enjoyed his time with Kindle enough to give her a rose since she was spunky. He said that he’s not sure he wants to be with a cheerleader for the rest of his life, but for now “rah, rah, bring it on!”

He then talked to Anitra, and asked about her “bath towel” the day before. She said that she just grabbed the first thing. And that she is kind of shy in this process. (Who is she trying to fool? Girl, we ain’t buying it. No one who is really shy would wear that little towel thing when you’re first meeting a guy on tv. Repeat after me, my name is Anitra, and I'm a DAW.)

Some of the other girls straight out asked Charlie for the second rose, he didn’t like that at all. It was given to Anitra since he felt that she wasn’t pushy about it.

Time for the second date
Siomara answered the phone and tried to sound like she was on Charlie’s Angels (she failed miserably though. I don’t think he caught on to it.) Charlie told her that 8 people could go this time, and that they had 10 minutes to get ready. Siomara decided to tell the girls that she was told to pick who would go – which, of course was not true.

Gina Marie was originally told she could go, but at the door, Sarah B. got picked instead. So Gina Marie went back upstairs and started drinking and pouting also. The other girls encouraged her to just go to the club. (I’m sure they were thinking, hey, he’ll think stalker, so we can definitely count one more out of the running.)

At the club Charlie and the girls started dancing, and drinking. He said the first date was a little boring, but this was already better.

During this date he had lots of one on ones. Kyshawn asked him what he thought of interracial dating, he said he had no problem with it. In fact, for his prom, he went with a black girl. Kyshawn was thrilled to hear that. (Too bad for her, that usually means she’ll get cut soon.)

Sarah B. must have been hungry, since they only talked about food. She said she likes to cook, but also likes eating out, either is good with her. (Well, I’m glad that she could make a choice there, since there really aren’t too many other options for dining.)

Krisily stole him away for a few minutes also. She admitted that she used to weigh 200 pounds. And they discovered that they are both dyslexic. (She has a problem with numbers, and he has one with letters.)

Charlie seemed to be having a good time. He felt some of the girls were very pretty and easy on the eyes, but some were not so easy on the ears.

We then saw his alone time with Kristine (bikini/poem girl), subtle editing there, eh? She was actually covered up this time, and had a horrible fur hat on her head. She filled him in that she is only a swimsuit model part-time. The rest of the time she is a private investigator for the government. Charlie got a kiss and a hug before she left. His face was priceless, it was like “when will this psycho let go of me?”

So much for keeping this show a little more on the PG-13 side. The next thing I know, Krisily crawled up on the bar, and Charlie did a body shot off of her stomach. She was then rewarded with the first rose of the evening. Do you think letting him consume alcohol off of her tummy could have any influence – oh yeah!

Sarah W., who got the first rose during the 2 minute sessions was also on this date. The chatted for about 30 seconds, and then they were lip-locking for a while. (Geez, I think if he keeps on moving this fast he may even give Blob a run for his money, and I didn’t think that was possible.)

Then suddenly Gina Marie crashed the party. The looks on the other 9 faces in that room was priceless. Though Charlie didn’t seem to mind much. He compared himself to Hugh Hefner, except that Charlie had more women to juggle than Hugh ever did at one time.

Gina Marie immediately walked up to Charlie, and demanded his time, and grabbed his hand, and dragged him away.

Not sure what happened with Gina Marie and Charlie, but Krisily decided to call a group meeting a be mom. She noted that not everyone had their alone time with Charlie. Geitan chimed in and claimed that she needed to remove herself while she still had some dignity. She did not feel comfortable in this bar environment and grinding on someone that she just met. She flat out told Charlie that she was not his girl, and left.

Charlie felt that it was not appropriate to continue, so he wanted to call it a night, and not give out the second rose. Sarah B. claimed to the rest of the group that she had a great time. (Okay Sarah, and your point of that was? There was no reason to jump in and say that, except to brown-nose. Oh, I get it now, so that’s what the “B” stands for, Brown-noser.)

The next morning the girls who weren’t on the date asked what happened to Geitan. Her stuff was still in the room, but she never came back to the house, and they knew she hadn’t spent the night with Charlie. (The mystery deepens. Removed herself from the date, claimed she knew she was not his girl, but her stuff was still there, mmm? Do I smell a twist coming on?)

Later in the day, Charlie called the house for the third and final date. Krisily theorized that this was the date for the girls that were too weak to fight for the first two dates. (Whatever.)

The last date was for volleyball and rock climbing at Chelsea Piers. Danushka was on this date, and, shocker, she was clueless. She didn’t know how to hold or what to do with a volleyball. (Watching her serve was hilarious.) She felt like she didn’t fit in to the group because she hadn’t bought herself big hooters like some of the others. (Immediate shot of Kimberly was shown, again, no subtly there.)

Jenny pulled Charlie away for some one on one time. They just talked about every day things. He felt she was refreshing, and earned herself the first rose of the day. (Refreshing? For the guy that likes to go to dive bars, play pool, surf, and fence, talk of museums and shopping doesn’t seem like his style, but oh well, that’s just me.)

Kara decided that it was time for her to reveal her deep secret. She has a 9 year old daughter back home, and she hoped it was not a problem for Charlie. He didn’t seem to mind, and wanted to make sure she wouldn’t miss the kid too much, and want to leave early. (Awww, now wasn’t that just so sweet and caring?)

The day wrapped up with a conversation with Kimberly. Not sure what she said, but she got the second rose. (Oh what am I thinking. She’s the one that sat on his lap with the bra fully exposed. That’s why she got a rose this time.)

Rose Ceremony
I guess they took the statement of “no gowns” very seriously. Some of the girls were in jeans, and spaghetti strap tank tops. Charlie was also wearing jeans for the ceremony

Before the roses were handed out, Geitan was allowed to come back into the group. When she walked back in, 19 sets of eyes were shooting daggers to her. She decided to return because she prejudged Charlie and left too early from the date. She just felt that dancing provocatively and dancing like a sleaze were beneath her. (With comments like that, no wonder the other girls didn’t seem too upset when she left.) Chris then told the girls (one side who already had roses, and the other side waiting to get them) that it’s time for them to ask questions of each other, or make comments to them and Charlie.

Let the claws come out would be a more appropriate name than “Rose Ceremony.”

Sarah Brown-noser piped in that she likes to go out and have a good time. (She must have realized that it had been a full 60 seconds since she had spoken to anyone, so she had to find something to say.) Kyshawn followed suit, and said that they lost sight of what was important, and that was that there was a hot guy here. (Can we say kiss up? Don’t think it will help you get a rose though.)

Kristen, from Boston, wanted to know what was the difference in the 7 that were seated with roses already, and those that had to wait. Charlie responded by saying that they got them for different reasons, and there was no one specific reason.

Danushka interrupted him to demand to know about the body shot. She asked if she had done the shot, would she have the rose. Charlie, replied that he felt that she was a fraud, and a big shot with her sunglasses, etc. and that he didn’t think she was there for the right reasons. (No pulling punches there. Guess we already know one who will be going home at the end of the night.)

Krisily jumped in to save herself, saying that she feared coming back to the house after the body shot, since she knew everyone would think that is the only reason she got a rose. She said call her the b#t#h of the house, whatever, she originally came on the show for the experience.

Danushka told Krisily that her actions didn’t make her a b#t#h, just a slut. (I guess she already knew what was going to happen, so she wanted to stick her foot further into her mouth, and look even worse that she already did.)

Chris then called time on this little exchange. (It was about time, I didn’t think it would ever end. Thank you, Chris.) But wait, Kristine, the poet, had to say something “I’ve been praying for your heart, if my name is written there, I’d be so honored.” (OMH – that has got to be the cheesiest line ever on this show, including all 9 previous seasons of the Bachelor and Bachelorette. And if you wondered why he thought she wasn’t so easy on the ears, wonder no more.)

Finally, the roses go to Sarah Brown-noser, Kara, Carrie, Gina Marie, and Megan for a total of 12 left in the house.)

Geitan, as dignified as always, departed by saying that some of these girls were so nasty that she would never sit on their toilet seats. She wants the nice one to prevail.

Danuska said she never had a connection, and that he did her a favor by cutting her, She also thanked Charlie for the tip of wearing sunglasses meant that she was there for the wrong reason. (I hate to tell her it wasn’t the sunglasses, it was her whole attitude that he didn’t like.)

Kristine was broken hearted, and was in tears. According to her, he has the most beautiful heart, and she will continue to love him. (Charlie, just a thought, you may want to change all phone numbers, e-mail addresses, and make sure your addresses are all unlisted. And we thought Trish was bad – she has nothing on Kristine.)

And this ends the first episode. All I can say is Charlie, good luck with this, you’re going to need it.