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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Basher Babe Week In Review"
Bebo 21083 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-28-02, 08:07 AM (EST)
 
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"Basher Babe Week In Review" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-28-02 AT 09:47 AM (EST)
Ahoy, maties! Before I proceed with the Week in Review, the Basher Babe Legal Association (BBLA) has asked me to read the following disclaimer: "The Basher Babe Yacht is an equal opportunity vessel that honors Babedom but does not discriminate based on race, age, gender, or sexual orientation. Our discrimination is based solely on displayed intelligence level or lack thereof. So there." As Re-Education Officer, I would also like to provide a basic lesson guide for the Basher Babes, Basher Boys, Babes and Boys in Training, Wannabes, loser castoffs, and stowaways about life on our lovely vessel.
1) The Babes rule here.
2) If you're a Basher Boy, Trainee, or Wannabe and you have any questions, please refer to #1.
3) The message board is about bashing Survivor, so guess what we're going to do here? We're not here to save the world or enlighten the masses, we're here to bash. If you have a problem with that, get your own ship with your own crew and leave us to our fun. Our Security Officer, the Disciplinarian Frau Hexe, has done an lovely job of getting the torture chamber organized for our upcoming week of fun. Peter, Patricia, and Hunter did a lot of scrubbing to make those toys shine, while Sarah sat around looking lost and scratching her no-no bites. More details available on her wonderful security bulletin. Two of our Basher Boys are being rewarded for meritorious conduct this week and will each be bestowed with a squished silicone/saline fluffypillow. Give it up for Fester and Conning Officer! Our resident storyteller, Dakota, started to spin a yarn to pass the time while awaiting our next victim. Make sure you read the fun so far and join in on the reverie. There are staffing issues that need to be addressed. It's bad enough when we have the Queen OFG AWOL, but we need loyal errand boys too. We do have one showing some promise in training, since he has now set up the grill on deck and is promising to feed the Babes. I think that Robfaddah or Zeta Male Sean's first duty after their torture session should be as wait staff to provide us with the bounty from the BBQ. I look forward to seeing reports from other officers, as well as GT hopefully providing a shanty to get the party going. The Bebo songbook may make another appearance later on as well. Let's get the slaves to clean off the deck chairs, double-check the supplies, and get this party started!  
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ConningOfficer 585 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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03-28-02, 09:37 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Basher Babe Week In Review" |
>...but does not discriminate
>based on race, age, gender,
>or sexual orientation. Our
>discrimination is based solely on
>displayed intelligence level or lack
>thereof. So there." No, Captain, that's not discrimination, that's decision-making based on performance! See... your re-education is already taking effect!  Or is it something that the Frau slipped into my gin and tonic. I can never tell. One minute I was staring at Sarah with glazed eyes, thinking impure thoughts and after taking a sip of my drink, my whole point of view changed... >Two of our Basher Boys are
>being rewarded for meritorious conduct
>this week and will each
>be bestowed with a squished
>silicone/saline fluffypillow. Give it
>up for Fester and Conning
>Officer! <snif> Thanks, Boss! I'm getting all sentimental and stuff - maybe I need some more of that "special drink" so I can get good and pissed off again. >I think
>that Robfaddah or Zeta Male
>Sean's first duty after their
>torture session should be as
>wait staff to provide us
>with the bounty from the
>BBQ. Nah - how about human sacrifice? It worked well for the Aztecs, Incas, and some South Pacific tribes. Let's put the roast in "celebrity roast"! While we MAY be able to get a little work (emphasis on "little") out of one of these two, it might be a whole lot more entertaining to watch at least one of them sizzle and bake. Then, turn what's left over to the Frau. >Let's get the slaves to clean
>off the deck chairs, double-check
>the supplies, and get this
>party started! Is Fester due back with the supply barge? You guys wiped out the Captain Morgan, and the Chamber was being used, so the brownie pans didn't get cleaned. Hunter's beak would make a good scrubbie-pad - I can think of a few of the Babes that would like to sit on his back and make him scrub. I still have my stash of Bombay Sapphire - so I'm good to go (I figure I have enough vices already). Has anybody given Mr. Holey any meaningful work lately? Most of our bashing has been aimed at Miss Inflatable (who is now a B-cup again, just the way she was at 16 if the rumors are to be believed). Orifice Boy has been spared our ire for a while. The ship is on course - I managed to move her a little closer to the shore so that we can see the action, and to allow for quicker and more frequent trips for supplies. Besides, MB may be getting on to our kidnapping of the Loozers enroute to the lodge, so we may need to change our "acquisition" tactics.
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Frau Hexe 716 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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03-28-02, 03:21 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Basher Babe Week In Review" |
Or is it something that the Frau slipped into my gin and tonic. I can never tell. One minute I was staring at Sarah with glazed eyes, thinking impure thoughts and after taking a sip of my drink, my whole point of view changed...Who me? Slip something into someone's drink? Nahhh...I don't know where you get this funny idea that I'm malicious, or is that malignant? Well, whatever it is, I can assure you it's simply your own reeducaction (kudos to Bebo) that is causing you to see Saline/Silicon Sarah in a different light. Of course, you realize this is irreversable, right? Nah - how about human sacrifice? It worked well for the Aztecs, Incas, and some South Pacific tribes. Let's put the roast in "celebrity roast"! While we MAY be able to get a little work (emphasis on "little") out of one of these two, it might be a whole lot more entertaining to watch at least one of them sizzle and bake. Then, turn what's left over to the Frau. Thank you kindly--nothing like a nice medium rare carpenter to brighten up the festivities. Now, CO, be a dear and get the good Frau a drink so's I can rest up for tonight's roast. 
We love men. We just don't want to see them naked.~ Two Nice Girls
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ConningOfficer 585 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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03-28-02, 04:17 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Basher Babe Week In Review" |
Yes, ma'am! On my way, but first, what sort of libation are you looking for? Fruity with an umbrella? Something ice-based (margarita, daquiri, etc.)? Need me to ask Hunter to come up on deck with his palm fronds to make sure you stay cool? After all, Retribution is hard work, and you need to rest up! ;) If it's going to be carpenter barbeque, I might need to find an excuse to be on the bridge, or at least upwind of the whole thing... I'm still a little squeamish from time to time - bashing these Nobel Laureates on the head is one thing - frying them up is another (at least to me). And yes, I realize that Bebo's reeducation program is irreversible. It would be sort of like the guy in "A Clockwork Orange" - totally bad news. Oh well... I guess I should relish my "new life" and be glad for the autonomy I have!
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dangerkitty 1913 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"
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03-28-02, 10:51 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Basher Babe Week In Review" |
Ahoy back atchya!! I have returned - not in full Bashing form, I must confess, as I forgot to tape the episode last week!!!!! My bad!!! And it sounds like Sean and Rob really gave us some fodder for skewering! Thank goodness for Bebo's wonderful summary, and the other threads here, I feel as if I at least have a clue. Can't have any uninformed baseless bashing, can we? What's that - we can? I can bash away even if I don't know what the hell I'm talking about? COOL!!!SO - Sean and Rob, you useless, gutless, brainless wonders you, don't you know that Tammy is going to be serving your heads on that frying pan very soon? Which heads, you ask? Well, since one choice is merely empty calories and void of any discernible content, and the other choice - well, neither I nor Tammy would wrap my mouth around it under any circumstances - so, the answer is actually BOTH, because by "serving" I meant as in tennis. Yes, Tammy will be taking a nice big backswing and smacking your noggins and genitalia out into the waters of Nukaa Hiva - after first playing a little pinball with them amongst the trees and rocks. Yes, I have the distinct feeling that you done messed with the wrong serving wench.
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Dianetic 618 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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03-28-02, 04:08 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: LRon's sausage" |
>--some of us just thought it
>better to avert our gaze. I think I saw some of you peeking through your hands covering your faces. Everybody wants to know what's in my special barbeuce sauce. I really do have a special barbecue sauce. It goes something like this:
1 large can tomato paste
1 small can tomato sauce
1/2 cup vinegar
1/2 cup brown sugar
5 tablespoons Tobasco sauce
2 tablespoons Mongolian Fire Oil
1 teaspoon basil
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon onion powder Mix well and barbecue onto meat starting when it's about 1/2 cooked. Enjoy >. .The liquor is going
>to have to flow a
>bit more freely before we'll
>admit to such brazen behavior.
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FesterFan1 5947 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-28-02, 11:37 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: Basher Babe Week In Review" |
Two of our Basher Boys are being rewarded for meritorious conduct this week and will each be bestowed with a squished silicone/saline fluffypillow. Give it up for Fester and Conning Officer!Bebo, thanks for the props. CO and I were just representin' all SB BasherBoys, and we want to give a special shout-out to all our peeps (marshmallow and otherwise). **pounds chest** As for the "reward", I don't want to appear ungrateful, but I'm gonna have to pull a Brando and refuse to accept. You see, as my moms used to say "if you don't know where it's been, don't touch it". Word from my mother is good enough for me on this occasion. However, I'm sure MikeD would love to get his mitts on one of the Funbags. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take the dinghy out to get some "party favors" for the evening. By the looks of things, I'm going to need to be 3-sheets by 8:00 to try to relate to these numbskulls. To top it off, *I* have the sentence of writing about tonight's train wreck. Pray for me (but not in a freaky Sean/Peter kinda way)... Any special requests Babes? Beer? Wine? Nuku Hivan lotto tickets?  Fester
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NightScribe 761 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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03-28-02, 12:08 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Basher Babe Week In Review" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-28-02 AT 12:11 PM (EST)Very well done Bebo. Except <sniff> I didn't get a meritorious commendation for my unrelenting effort to keep us stoned until doom's day. I mean seriously Bashers! I have fed us more magic brownies than the Beatles consumed in '68! Nevertheless, I am delighted to see dk back in form. I know the boat hasn't been the ideal place for such a feline, but I do believe that Hunter's efforts to bring in fresh fish is keeping the kitten happy. purrrrrrr. I must say we've gotten fairly liberal here on the yacht. Once upon a time it was jaded babes only. If we're to keep this liberal policy, we may need to appoint someone as PC police. That is, a highly trained babe to detect and thwart any and all attempts at political correctness. What with the rough seas and having to smell these loozers as they board our palatial yacht, I simply can't stomach the attempts to turn our floating playground into some PC barge. I just won't have it! This Just In... I hate Vee. She's boring and redundant. God-this and God-that. I'm soooooo above the drama, but I don't mind eavesdropping on conversations or helping sew the seeds of fear and paranoia. I heard Vee rapping in her sleep the other night...went something like this. My name is Vee
I'm drama free
even though it all starts with me God is good
God is great
I'm on rotu
what's to hate? I had five big L's
but the blame aint mine
it was all the drama
and I aint lyin Jesus loves me this I know
For I am a religious ho
lazy ones to I belong
they are weak but make me strong Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me For I stay drama free! There's a special place in hell just for Vee.  
edited because I just realized I hit 500 DAW's. A true cause for celebration! I swear I don't remember the last 100; they're all just a blur to me.
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Swami 5885 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-28-02, 12:40 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Basher Babe Week In Review" |
And a brave dawg you are to voluntarily sniff anything on this boat. We've been at sea quite a while now, and those darn bootees are just not working hard enough to keep things clean. Maybe you could bite a few on the arse, just to encourage them? Dawgs do that too, don't they?Maybe Fester can get you one of those cute little flasks like the olde tyme rescue St. Bernards used to wear on their collars. Oh, such a good boy...let me scratch you behind the ears. Good Dawg. Nice boy. *pat, pat*  Swami
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SurvivinDawg 6816 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-28-02, 01:03 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Basher Babe Week In Review" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-28-02 AT 01:06 PM (EST)Maybe you could bite a few on the arse, just to encourage them? Dawgs do that too, don't they? Yes, we've been known to: 
For those who don't know, this is the famous picture of Uga V going after an Auburn player in the 1996 Georgia-Auburn game. This action earned Uga V the "Mascot Of The Year" cover pic on Sports Illustrated a few months later.*** Contradictions don't exist. If you are faced with a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong. -- Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
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Bebo 21083 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-28-02, 01:18 PM (EST)
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13. "Don't say you weren't warned..." |
First off, woohoo that DK's back!!!!!!!!!! And second, I never meant to slight Scribe and all of her wonderful contributions to our mighty vessel.And now, I was inspired by Garth to write another little ditty. The chorus is especially appropriate for this evening, and I will be singing it quite often (which my family should appreciate, given the age of my nephews and cousins, hahaha). Anyway... Two Pina Coladas I was feelin' the blues
'Bout Hunter's adieu
When Jeff Probst came on the TV He said I'm tellin' you
That science has proven
That heartaches are healed by the sea That got me goin'
Without even knowin'
I packed right up and logged on Now I'm on a roll
And I swear to my soul
Tonight I'm gonna bash from our yacht So bring me two pina coladas
One for each hand
Let's set sail with Captain Morgan
And never leave dry land Troubles I forgot 'em
I buried 'em in the sand
So bring me two pina coladas
She says hello to her Survivin' men Oh now I've gotta say
That Rob, John, and Gabe
Are a rather interesting three Eases my mind
Rotu's won every time
And the heartaches the switch can bring Now I've got a smile
That goes on for miles
Since Sarah has been sent home I've gotta say
That I think I've gotta stay
'Cause this is feelin' more and more like home So bring me two pina coladas
One for each hand
Let's set sail with Captain Morgan
And never leave dry land Hey troubles I forgot 'em
I buried 'em in the sand
So bring me two pina coladas
She says hello to her Survivin' men
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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some people wear their heart upon their sleeeve...i wear mine underneath my right pant leg strapped to my boot -- ani difranco
