"Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18" - Reality TV World Message Board Forums

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"Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"	06-06-06, 04:44 AM (EST)
"Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"
LAST EDITED ON 06-06-06 AT 11:47 AM (EST) Well, it seems that the ~~inmates~~ houseguests want to have a talent show - laughable since none of them have any talent - that's why they're on this show and not something else. Anyway, the ~~suckers~~ fans should eat this stuff up. to assistant Take some notes on what I've heard so far for ideas; Antonia & Brooke Shields (as back-up) - Eyebrow dance to "Money" by Pink Floyd Money, get away. Get a good job with good pay and you're okay. Money, its a gas. Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash. New car, caviar, four star daydream, Think I'll buy me a football team. LisaTwit, Dr. Stan, Lanre - a rousing game of Twister Rhonda - rendition of "I Feel Pretty" I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity Any girl who isn't me tonight. Allison - refrigerating cleaning demo (please, no shouting to the universe) Kelly - how to clean grout with a toothbrush DoormatLisa & Poetri - poem "Ode to Tony ~~the lying, cheating bastid~~" Christina - pole dancing (for the love of all that is holy please let it be pole dancing) Christie - how to stay upright with really, really big hair Jodi & Maureen - something with knives and cigarettes Kim - a rousing re-enactment of a scene from "Sybil" TJ - magic - escape from a cardboard box (Yes, Maureen must vacate the box first.) Jill - demonstration of how to win a cupcake eating contest Niambi - I think I heard something about her and Situation Man and Other Woman??? Jessica - will light candles surrounded by rocks DeBORah - a demonstration of immaculate conception, because she has NOT had sex in over 6 months Dr. Stan & Cat - old stage act of Yusuffy & Snuffly Andy - bra fitting demo - will Christina be involved in this? - please say yes Cassie - Good morning dance Sommer - dirty dancing with that no-name instructor ~~gay~~ guy Iyanla & Richard Simmons - Dancing to the oldies No, Iyanla, you may NOT play twister with LisaTwit and Dr. Stan. PLEASE! no men in Speedo's - I've seen enough "man packages" this season to last me a lifetime! ADMINISTRIVIA: You need not just follow my lead here. You can take this in any show-related direction you wish. Remember to use your sigs, or at least sign off as your characters. If you want to join in as a RECURRING character, please sign up in the signup thread before posting. That's whereyou'll findyour sigs also (although, if you're replacing someone, it may be in the old signup thread). Remember, if you're unable to post as your character for a time, just send me a note to that effect. Otherwise, I can only assume you're uninterested, which isn't fair to someone who might want to play. Currently claimed roles are: Jon Murray, Dr. Stan, Iyanla, Rhonda, Andy (and her mom, and her left brow), Antonia, Jodi, Kelly and her bathroom, Niambi, Christina, Christie, Poetri, Dr. VantToLookJung,Lanre, the Garden Buddha, the RoseBush, the Front Door, the Dining Room Table, Bead Store Owner, "Mr. Situation," the CameraMan, and the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Here is the link to the new thread containing some of the old sigs. Old Sigs New characters, or resurrected old ones, welcome! Do NOT post as a character that's been claimed. Thanks. You can post as ad hoc, one-time characters WITHOUT signing up. If you intend to reuse your character, please do sign up . . . thanks! And HAVE FUN! Non-players: THIS IS NOT A DISCUSSION THREAD. Discussion-type posts may be removed. BUT . . . You may address or ask questions of the role-players as their characters. E-mail or PM me with any problems. Based on various other "Be The . . ." games, created by (all hail) Angelfood.
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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
06-06-06, 09:34 AM (EST)

1. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

<Antonia meeting with Stahtin' Ovah Talent Show committee>
"Good news and bad news he-yah girls. I'm happy to report that Mr. Jon supports our idea for the show. And he has given us a budget of a whole freakin' $100 (cheap bastid) for our costumes. Yeah, I know, big flippin' deal. But I am sorry to tell you that our treasurer Jill bought cupcakes with the money yesterday so we are back to square one." <Whispers> "Anyone want to volunteer to be treasurer?"
"And I'm gettin' kinda worried about what everyone will wea-ah for the show. I have my awesome gold jacket but you girls aren't lookin' so hot he-yah. <Looks around the room, frowns> Maybe Andy can make ya something out of the table cloth ovah they-ah. Her outfits are...uh...very creative. But only if she promises to stay away from my brows."
<Aside to Jill> "Could you save some of those refreshments for the rest of us?" <Rolls eyes>
"Now Rhonda and Richard are fightin' ovah who gets to sing "I Feel Pretty." This stress is gettin' to me big time and Niambi is the only one really helpin' me dammit. I've gotta go lie down and take a nap hey-ah. I'm ti-ad."
"Could somebody go out back and help Christie untangle her hair from the rose bush, I'm lyin' down."

Bein' an Exec is exhaustin'!

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
06-08-06, 07:18 PM (EST)

10. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

I have an idea for the costumes for the show, dear. Do you remember all that Spandex Iyanla ordered from Big Bolt Fabrics for the swimming suits? Since Mr. Murray nixed that idea, I wonder if Andy could create us something from the Spandex. I don't think the housmates ever got together and tried to cooperate on an exercise to make a trampoline yet, so there you go!
I think maybe Richie and I have come to a compromise. I think we may do a duet of "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better". I am sure to win, and I am sure to look good next to his poodle cut.

Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
06-06-06, 03:07 PM (EST)

2. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

Bathroom are you as bored as I am. I can't clean you when you're not dirty. The problem is NO ONE uses the bathroom. It doesn't get dirty. How can I clean you if you're not dirty.
*stands up* *straps on her tool belt* *wierd lip movements*
*closes eyes & clicks heel 3 times*
Theres no place like home? *click, click, click*
Theres no place like home! *click, click, click*
Everyone ready? Theres no place like HOME!!
WHOOMP
We're back! Oh My Darling Bathroom, we're back home!
*Kelly starts connecting pipes, she pulls out her "Plumbing for Women" book and craws under the sink.

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
06-08-06, 07:27 PM (EST)

11. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

Hey, Kelly, I hope you don't mind my fat naked body using youah bathroom. I need me lots of space. Especially after I do mah workout and start sweatin'. My ole de-ad HUSband used to love to watch me in the bathroom in the mornin's....until that mornin' he watched me and had a heart attack. I wondah what that was about. It so unfair to ME for him to die on me. Now I have to be CELibate for seven yeahs now.
I heard Rhonda practicin' earlier...I can't let anybody show me up for that talent show.
*walks through house singing*
"I feel pretty...."

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kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
06-09-06, 05:29 PM (EST)

18. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

*hears Mr Situation singing*
*runs towards the sound*
Situation is that you? I knew you would come to get me.
*runs toward the kitchen* *STOPS* *blinks* *blinks*
You're De-BOR-ah, I thought I heard my man in here. Gee! You look familiar. Did you see a man in here? Iyanla calls him a BOO-BOO. I shout out my love for him.
See ya later. Nice singing by the way.
*runs out of room*

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
06-10-06, 01:15 PM (EST)

33. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

LAST EDITED ON 06-10-06 AT 09:11 PM (EST)
*phone rings - Niambi answers*
Yo, Niambi baby. So like, yeaaaahhh... 'bout the talent shoowww... see guuurrrl, I don' think, uhhh, that, uhhh, me an' Othah Woman ain't gonna make it. But chooo know I love ya baby? You know you the only one for me, right? C'mon guuurrrrl, who loves ya baby?

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catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
06-10-06, 09:04 PM (EST)

34. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

LAST EDITED ON 06-10-06 AT 09:16 PM (EST)
LAST EDITED ON 06-10-06 AT 09:11 PM (EST)
THUD!

well, i guess we are home now. and it seemed like the dining room table was ready to be back. and what's this about a talent show? that means i get to be kelly's private dressing room. no one else's! what's that smell? it's like b.o. and marlboros...with a little bit of imposter parfums version of giorgio in there, as well (hey, i'm a bathroom! i know my perfumes! or knock offs, as it were...).
my pipes feel like they used to. wow, is there nothing kelly can't do? i mean, cleaning, cooking, dancing, renovation, plumbing, making a delightful cleaning rag out of a shrunken cashmere sweater...she knows how to treat a room right. heck, she even whistles while she works!
i'm not looking forward to kim hiding more booze, jodi sneaking ho-ho's and ding-dongs in mr. shower, and don't get me started on sommer and xxxtina... do any of you KNOW how long it took to get those things cleared up? and mr. toilet? he still has nightmares...
although, it is nice to have tj back, even if only for a minute. before kelly's time, we had chats. well, not many, but when she got over the shcok of a animate bathroom, she was a fun girl. and not a bad scrubber either, i might add. good golly, there's that ...that...odor again.....maureen.......!

hey, antonia and dr. stan...i bet you could lure cassie away w/ a case of "electric youth."

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kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
06-06-06, 03:26 PM (EST)

3. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

...Life isn't like a box of chocolates.... it's more like a jar
of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
So if I can't live in the box, where can I stay. I'm goingto look around the house for a closet or something. There's a new room where that old bathroom used to be. Hey, I bet they built a room for me. I'll go check it out.

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
06-06-06, 04:15 PM (EST)

5. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

"...Life isn't like a box of chocolates.... it's more like a jar
of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow."
Oh, Maureen, truer words were never spoken!
You are so funny. Do you have a tour schedule? I would LOVE to catch one of your shows.

God is good all the time and all the time God is good.

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kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
06-06-06, 03:40 PM (EST)

4. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

*stretches legs* *walks back his honored place in the dining room* I had such a wonderful vacation. Peace & quiet. But I do miss my ladies. I can't wait to have counseling sessions begin over me again. Dr. Stan always makes me feel needed. I am built for a large group. I'm back chairs. Did you miss me?
HELLOOOO LADIES!!!! How about super?

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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
06-06-06, 07:01 PM (EST)

6. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

"OW! Hey, ow ow ouch! Rhonda stop pinching me! Let go of my arm!!"
<Starts to fake cry, gags>
"C'mon Rhonda. Please stop. All I said was that Jon and I are having a meeting to discuss the talent show. It's just a meeting...(whispers)...in the hot tub."
<Lisa pinches herself to try to generate some real tears. Doesn't work. Gags a couple of times, spits, looks around for reaction, sees none and stops crying abruptly>
"Okay okay I'll cancel the meeting. Just don't make me go back in the cage. PLEASE. C'mon Rhonda, I'll be good!"
<Mumbles to self: "I better not practice my booty shake in the mirror when Rhonda's around, and she's always around the mirror. Her butt is waaaaaay bigger than mine!">
<Walks away>
"I wonder if Mr. Internet is busy tonight..."

Maybe secret on-line dating IS safer?

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Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
06-08-06, 00:32 AM (EST)

7. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

LAST EDITED ON 06-08-06 AT 01:06 AM (EST)
LAST EDITED ON 06-08-06 AT 01:05 AM (EST)
LAST EDITED ON 06-08-06 AT 00:34 AM (EST)
Lisa and Rhonda,
Hey...ummm...oops I'm sorry. I need to take these black sunglasses off in the house...sorry, Lisa, Rhonda, ...
I'm like thinking I'll sing a song with Cassie for the talent show. She and I are going to sing something fun! How about that? Isn't that COOL??!?

The only NORMAL one in the SO house!

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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
06-08-06, 10:50 AM (EST)

8. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

"Uh, yeah, that would be cool TJ hon...really sweet...but maybe could you ask Cassie to...uh...NOT sing? Like, just sit the <bleep> down already. If she does that Good Morning Thing she'll clear the room, including me. If I he-yah that awful screeching again I'll go nuts. Thanks honey. By the way, has anyone seen Cassie? Is she still at the Bus Station?"
"Oh and TJ. Rhonda said you should wear a hat for the show. She doesn't like it when your hair looks prettier than hers."
"Where's Docktuh Sta-an? Lisa keeps buggin' me about her Twista Game. I can't have that Helmet Hair Lisa followin' me around. She's one pushy girl, that one. I can't get anything done for <bleep> sake. Okay team see ya all later...I'm goin' to take a little nap he-yah."

Hope I don't have nightmares about that freakin' helmet followin' me!

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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
06-08-06, 04:37 PM (EST)

9. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

Sleep well, Antonia.
Sorry, can't deal with Lisa right now; I'm too busy trying to figure out why the h%ll my call to Christina cost $756.91.
re: Cassie . . . Don't worry. Jon and I have come up with a ~~sucker ruse~~ distraction to get her to move to the swamps of Louisiana before the Talent Show. Stay tuned.

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kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
06-09-06, 05:51 PM (EST)

21. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

Dr Stan, I'm back. You should come visit my bathroom. It's good as new. Even better.
Dr Stan, will you be my dance partner. I've been watching these dance shows. I would like to waltz with you for my talent. With you leading me, we could win the talent contest.
What do you say?

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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
06-10-06, 00:18 AM (EST)

29. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 18"

Why, Kelly, I believe what you're feeling for me right now for me is called transference . . . my Joe Boxer lemon balsam cologne reminds you of your lemony fresh Scrubbing Bubbles and ignites your passion.
Actually, I'm more into solo street dance, you know: krumping, harlem shake, snap dancing, blood walk, clown walk, hill toe, booty popping, 1,2 step, crip walk . . .
But I've noticed the fabulous chemisty between you and your mop . . . maybe you could rent a tuxedo for it and work up a sizzling routine for the two of you?

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
06-08-06, 07:34 PM (EST)

12. "Oh, My Little Brideykinz...."

I have been buzy and very hard vorkink to help Fraulein Rhonda. She haz thoze ugly zcarz from her cutz on her head, zo I am vorkink hard to make them go avay. Maybe Fraulein Bridey vill help me make a lovely vork of art on that plaze on Fraulein Rhonda'z head.
For die talent show, can ve show them zome of the egzperimentz I did on your lovely forehead? Zuch artvork....

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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
06-11-06, 09:53 PM (EST)

35. "RE: Oh, My Little Brideykinz...."

Yo, baby! I've missed you. And I'm also jealous to know that you're been working with that *&^%#@ RHONDOG!
Well, I'll forgive you, you gorgeous hunkaman, as long as you promise to come over soon so we can work on our talent show act. Sure, let's show off my forhead, but we can also do some of our... er, uh, acrobatics! If ya know what I mean, wink-wink!

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
06-08-06, 07:41 PM (EST)

13. "Where is Buddha?"

Oh, my Buddha, I need you! I miss our little chats, our sharing of secrets heart to heart, looking into my mirror together....*sigh* You are the only one I can really trust, you know, Buddha.
I remember how traumatized we both were with Jonny and Lisa and the Speedos...I really need to know now what is REALLY going on, as you see all and know all and there are no more Speedos to blindfold you from the truth. Please, I need a consultation...and in return, I will continue to lead you down the path of greater self-love.

Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
06-09-06, 11:57 AM (EST)

14. "Uh uh, I did not!"

<Lisa parading around in only a towel>
<Hears housemates screaming and running from room. Camera man moves in closer...>
"GET BACK IN HERE you b!tches! Who told Rhonda that I had a rendezvous *er* visit with Mr. Internet last night? I DID NOT. I just took a little walk at 3:00 in the morning...honest."
<Big pout and long annoying whine>
"Now Rhonda will tell Dr. Stan and I'll be in trouble. If anything gets in the way of my special Twister game with Dr. Stan and Lanre you girls are gonna get it! That game will be very good for my emotional development. At least that's what I told Rhonda."
<Partially lowers towel, smiles at camera man>
"Okay ladies? You got my back?"
<Smiles sweetly...housemates shudder>

I am so beautiful to meeeeee!

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kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
06-09-06, 06:04 PM (EST)

23. "RE: Uh uh, I did not!"

Hey Lisa. Just remember eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
*inhale on cig* *blows smoke rings at Lisa*

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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
06-09-06, 12:25 PM (EST)

15. "CASSIE: YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY WON!"

Congratulations, CASSIE!
We, at Dr. Bran Sweepstakes Inc. are pleased to inform you that you are our GRAND PRIZE WINNER!
A one-way ticket to our exclusive resort at Swamp #666, Gatorsludge, LA.
AND
24 Industrial-sized cans of White Rain hairspray (Super Ultra Tease Hold)
Time: TBA, but precisely the same as the Starting Over Talent Show takes place in California.
Winner will be disqualified and fined if acceptance is made in any style of poetry. Fines double if haiku or love ballads are submitted.

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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
06-09-06, 12:40 PM (EST)

16. "RE: CASSIE: YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY WON!"

"Oh Docktuh Sta-an *er* Bran. You are my he-ro!"
"Good luck Cassie, and congrats my best-est *cough* girlfriend."

That girl is drivin' me up tha wall & back down again!

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trikelady 82 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
06-09-06, 04:25 PM (EST)

17. "talent show"

Wow! We're good enough to be in the Tournament of Roses Parade but not good enough to be in the SO talent show. We all have a good mind to start stinking up the place on the day of the talent show. Please can't you find something for us rose bushes to do in the talent show? You could even cut our heads off and use us for decorations or something.

word is out that Oprah is looking for roses for her garden...hint, hint

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kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
06-09-06, 05:41 PM (EST)

19. "RE: talent show"

*bends to sniff roses*
You are looking so lovely today. I think I will be back to cut you for a beautiful bouquet for my winning the talent show. Long stem roses, perfect!
You are a fitting thank-you for this Diva. I will wrap you & put you in the fridge. I must remember to write a card with my name on it.
*runs off calling for Mr Situation*

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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
06-09-06, 08:37 PM (EST)

27. "The Rose Bush, $$$ cha-ching!"

<Antonia is out in the garden late at night holding pruning shears. She looks around nervously to make sure no one is watching. Sees Christie napping under a bush with her massive hair tangled in the rose thorns. Steps carefully over her and prepares to snip.>
"Damn. I am so freakin' desperate to get some cash, maybe I can sell some of these roses. They are lookin' pretty nice he-yah. And those <bleepin'> Stahtin' Ovah Divas are takin' so damn long to get they-ah talent togetha, it's gonna be awhile before I see any money."
<Hears giggling over by the Garden Buddha.>
"Hey! Who is that? Hellllllooooo??? Anyone there??? Oh oh. I'm gettin' a little freaked out!!!>
<Drops pruners and runs into house>

Did I see what I think I saw?

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Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
06-09-06, 05:50 PM (EST)

20. "RE: CASSIE: YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY WON!"

LAST EDITED ON 06-09-06 AT 05:54 PM (EST)
OMG OMG OMG I WON!!!!!! lol I WON! Woo! Good morning! Good morning! ....
I would love to go visit New Orleans! Let's see here...During the talent show?? Oh no! .... How can I turn them down? They NEED me to sing and TJ and I have been rehearsing our act. ...
Sits down to figure out what to do. I can't give up hairspray AND a spa trip with my bestest friend Rhonda! What to do...what to do.... Oh! I know! We will leave after the talent show!
Cassie telephones Rhonda to tell her the good news!!
"OMG! Rhonda!! I won a trip to a spa in LA for BOTH of us!! Woo hoo!! The only thing is..we will have to leave right after the talent show to catch the bus..."
Cassie

A collector of 1970s colors Tupperware

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Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
06-09-06, 06:03 PM (EST)

22. "RE: CASSIE: YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY WON!"

TJ is half-asleep while walking to answer the phone.
"Hello?? Oh, hi Cassie....You won? That's great Cassie...after the talent show? okay whatever that's cool...
HAH? When will we practice our act? Ummmm, tomorrow would be super! I just need to make sure I wear a hat during the act because I can't upstage Rhonda.
Our act is so cool and I can't wait to see you tommorow so we can go shop for costumes. Yeah...mhhmmm we'll go for an ice cream sundae afterwards. Night!"
TJ goes back to sleep.

The only NORMAL HG in the SO House!

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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
06-09-06, 07:02 PM (EST)

26. "RE: CASSIE: YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY WON!"

<Antonia humming to herself feeling very chipper. Stops and sits on couch next to Jodi and her other housemates. Removes Jodi's arm from around her neck and moves to a chair>
"Well Cassie's gone. (Pretends to make a sad face) That girl sure couldn't get it togetha. But I've really grown to love that *er* special girl (rolls eyes) and I'm real glad she won that a-MAZ-in prize. As I said to her earlier, don't let the door hit you in the a$$, I mean, good luck girlfriend!"
<Cassie enters the room singing>
"WTF???!!! You're STILL here??? What the <bleep> happened? OMG, I think I need to lie down."

Say it aint so!

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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
06-09-06, 11:48 PM (EST)

28. "RE: CASSIE: YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY WON!"

LAST EDITED ON 06-09-06 AT 11:53 PM (EST)
URGENT TELEGRAM TO CASSIE:
DELIGHTED TO RECEIVE YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF HIGHLY IMPLAUSIBLE, UNLIKELY AND SUSPICIOUS SWEEPSTAKES(STOP)
HOWEVER, PLEASE NOTE:
-LA = NO BUS SERVICE TO GATORSLUDGE, LOUISIANA, AND NOT AT ALL CLOSE TO NEW ORLEANS(STOP).
-PROPOSED TRAVELLING COMPANION, RHONDA, CANNOT BE APPROVED. SHE HAS A CRIMINAL RECORD SPANNING SEVERAL SOUTHERN STATES (STOP)
-PRIZE ONLY REDEEMABLE DURING TALENT SHOW DATES(STOP)
-CONSIDER GREAT "ANGEL" BUSINESS OPS AND FREE RENT IN SWAMP(STOP)

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Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
06-10-06, 00:21 AM (EST)

30. "RE: CASSIE: YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY WON!"

LAST EDITED ON 06-10-06 AT 00:27 AM (EST)
>
><Cassie enters the room singing>
>
>"WTF???!!! You're STILL here??? What the <bleep> happened? OMG, I think I need to lie down."
Antonia, come here let me hug you!! Of course I am here, silly. Where else would I be? I asked Dr. Stan if the letter was from him. He didn't fool me. My feelings are hurt though... Cassie tries not to cry... I thought you all liked me!!

Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes Winner

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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
06-10-06, 09:29 AM (EST)

31. "CASSIE: YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY LOST YOUR MIND"

"Aw $hit, er gosh, Docktuh Sta-an. This is real serious he-yah. She's baaa-aack. I was wonderin' if you still have that straight jacket? I know Rhonda was usin' it for a while but we really need it now. Can you get it for our friend Cassie? PLEEEEEEASE?"

She's like gum on my shoe!

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
06-10-06, 12:46 PM (EST)

32. "RE: CASSIE: YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY LOST YOUR MIND"

Um, Antonia, dear, the straitjacket is mine and is not available for loan or rental. I need it for exercises I do with ~~Jon-Boy~~ the ladies, especially now that Kelly is back.

Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
06-12-06, 00:07 AM (EST)

37. "RE: CASSIE: YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY LOST YOUR MIND"

LAST EDITED ON 06-12-06 AT 00:10 AM (EST)
Antonia, I've been practicing. Want to hear? No?? Okay...
Hi Jill! I'm Cassie. I FOUND MY SON!!! Those cupcakes were for the guests of the SO house talent show meeting. Are you a guest of the SO House? Ohhhhh, you graduated in between my returns to the SO house! Well, Hello! Good Morning!
Please sit down...OK Antonia. I'll stop talking now!
Cassie sits on sofa next to Rhonda and smiles. Gives her hug.
Oh by the way, TJ will be coming in a little while. She went to pick up some stuff for us to eat like veggies and onion sour cream dip.

Loves the 80s.

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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
06-09-06, 06:13 PM (EST)

24. "DELIVERY FOR LISA"

::unhitches large, covered animal cage from back of Suburban with "FMLYMAN" licence plate::
::snarling sounds come from under clawed, chewed tarp::
Lisa! Lisa!
Rhonda asked me to deliver this . . .

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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
06-09-06, 06:40 PM (EST)

25. "RE: DELIVERY FOR LISA"

"Ooooooh, ooh ooh ooh! A present for me?"
<Jumps up and down clapping hands like a 5 year old>
"Is it from you-know-who?" <Giggle>
<Runs outside to check it out. Hears noises coming from the back of the Dr. Stan family truckster...>
"Oh Mr. Internet, is, is, is that YOU in there???"
<Carefully lifts tarp. . .>

That Mr. I is a real animal!

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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
06-11-06, 10:42 PM (EST)

36. "RE: Uhhhh, you know...."

Talent contest? Cupcake-eating contest??
Uhhhhhh, where are the practice cupcakes...a STAR's gotta rehearse...

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Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
06-12-06, 00:18 AM (EST)

38. "RE: Uhhhh, you know...."

TJ rings the doorbell. Cassie gets the door.
TJ: Hi!! I bought some stuff for all of us to eat during the meeting. Veggies, dip, fake cupcake for Jill, ...
Jill, my partner in crime! (JUST a figure of speech!)
What are you doing? Are you eating cupcakes again? Well, have no fear. Guess what I found? Yes, that's right! A chocolate cupcake with NO calories! It's FAKE! How's that for genius huh?? You can still look at it and talk to it but you can't eat it! Sorry girlfriend.

I deserved a trip to Canyon Ranch for 2 weeks alone!

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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
06-12-06, 09:29 AM (EST)

39. "RE: Uhhhh, you know...."

Love the graphic, hehe.

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
06-12-06, 12:01 PM (EST)

40. "RE: Uhhhh, you know...."

Ahhh....laaaa-deeeez, ding dong, your doorbell's ringin'!
Oh, how lovely. Old home week at the SO house! I see some of my most evolved clients!
I don't have a lot of time girls, because I'm running a sale of my LC garb - all single digit sizes of course - and I don't want to miss a dollar - oh, I mean an opportunity to meet the fans.
Jill - what are you battin' around over there while I'm talkin'? It looks like a dog toy. Oh, it's a cupcake, a plastic cupcake. Take it out of your mouth, Jill.
I would like to share my poetry and original verse for the talent show. Any problem with that?

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
06-12-06, 12:31 PM (EST)

41. "RE: Uhhhh, you know...."

Oh, Iyanla, I thought it would be fun if we would perform "Sisters" for the talent show. Whaddaya think?

Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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mbinkc 32 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
06-12-06, 06:26 PM (EST)

42. "RE: Uhhhh, you know...."

Hellllooooo Ladieeeesss!!
So how many of you are in on the Twister game? Dr. Stan, honey, I DO hope you are playing. I had a super shiny, skin-tight tank top and a pair of short shorts made especially for you! I know you already have the pointy white sneakers and the fold over bobby socks (you looked so cute in those when we went on our walk the other day.)
Speaking of work out gear, I've noticed that my super silky shiny tank tops and short shorts are dwindling in numbers. I brought 25 or 30 of them to the SO house, but now I'm down to 6 shirts and 2 pair of shorts. Anyone know anything about this?
Also, I vote that the tall, skinny, fake-crying girl doesn't get to play Twister. She's never bought ONE of my videos, and I just don't trust someone who doesn't love themselves as much as I love me.

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
06-13-06, 02:38 PM (EST)

43. "RE: Uhhhh, you know...."

LAST EDITED ON 06-13-06 AT 06:01 PM (EST)
moved post to new thread.........

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