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KitKatKarlson 12 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 03-19-06, 09:47 AM (EST) "The "First New HM" syndrome" I have been thinking about this ever since Kim's appearance as a new house mate. As I watched her knocking on the door to enter the house for the first time, I got this horrible sense of dread and I didn't even know who she was. I thought this woman is going to be ostracized and scapegoated. I was right. It always happens to the first new housemate, every season. The core group has worked together and bonded and formed their dynamics, shaky as they may be sometimes. But a new woman enters the house, and the remaining core group closes ranks and refuses to acknowledge her presence or her issues. Things seem to calm down when additional new house mates enter, and they accept the inevitable changes, but they never truly accept the First New House Mate. To add insult to unjury, additional new house mates pick up on this dynamic and adopt it as the attitude of the house. Kimberlyn never was able to gain a foothold, and I think with some patience and guidance she could have stayed longer, or at least had some help in defining that the real issue wasn't that she needed a driver's license. Sommer got dogged by this dynamic, plain and simple. Now Kim is carrying all of the insecurities and guilt and insensitivity of the entire house. Yep, I'll call it the "First New House Mate" syndrome. Just like the person who wins the vehicle on Survivor never wins the million dollars, and the woman who gets the first rose on The Bachelor never gets the final rose. The woman who enters as the First New House Mate gets the least support from the house.   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: The "First New HM" syndrome Sues 03-20-06 1  RE: The "First New HM" syndrome lovemydogdude 03-20-06 2    RE: The "First New HM" syndrome maudeadams 03-20-06 3        RE: The "First New HM" syndrome lovemydogdude 03-20-06 4        RE: The "First New HM" syndrome trikelady 03-24-06 10    RE: The "First New HM" syndrome KitKatKarlson 03-21-06 5  RE: The "First New HM" syndrome eire_heart74 03-21-06 6    RE: The "First New HM" syndrome Shazbot 03-23-06 7        RE: The "First New HM" syndrome KitKatKarlson 03-23-06 8            RE: The "First New HM" syndrome Shazbot 03-24-06 9

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Sues 585 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 03-20-06, 09:20 AM (EST) 1. "RE: The "First New HM" syndrome" hhmmmm...maybe Or maybe she really is just a hard person to get along with. If she pulled that all day hissy fit over the dryer on me, I'da ripped her a new one..... Of course she does have her purpose and I sincerely hope she has some confrontation with Kill me Cassie   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 04:31 PM (EST) 2. "RE: The "First New HM" syndrome" I agree! You would think that 5 nearly graduated women would be a whole lot more accepting. Kim was so uncomfortable by the fact that she didn't feel liked that she tried even harder which made the problem worse. IMO the ring leader Jill should have been able to demonstrate compassion but instead rejected her. Had TJ got to stay and befriend Kim I think her transition and overall experience would have been much better. Seems the producers, lifecoaches,..just threw her to the wolves which only makes matters worse. There was no intervention for days after Kim arrived. Jill called that "meeting" for her sake and not Kim's..she spent days recruiting others to be on her side..never sensed any concern for Kim..only herself.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

maudeadams 26 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 03-20-06, 06:43 PM (EST) 3. "RE: The "First New HM" syndrome" And it's more apparent this season then the past one. Huge differences. They wouldn't have let that go on so long last seasons. There seemed to be so little compassion for Kim to begin with and you are right, the more resistant they were to her the harder she tried creating that vicious cycle that was adopted by the HG that came after her. You are so right about that. It's like a horrible clique where once the "outsider" is identified they all band together against her.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 08:06 PM (EST) 4. "RE: The "First New HM" syndrome" Kinda like kindergarden!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

trikelady 82 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 03-24-06, 03:02 PM (EST) 10. "RE: The "First New HM" syndrome" It's like a horrible clique where once the "outsider" is identified they all band together against her. I agree. Seems to me the HM's are more like a dysfunctional family. None of them act very grown up and sometimes I wonder what happen to their manners. Seems more like a "time to grow up syndrome". trike   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

KitKatKarlson 12 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 03-21-06, 07:44 AM (EST) 5. "RE: The "First New HM" syndrome" I always thought that Jill's opinions were highly over-rated. I was so appalled the time they asked Jill to give her opinion on Kim's personality and problems. WTH? This woman can't even get her own life on track, yet she has the insight into another woman's problems when she hasn't been privvy to one single one-on-one meeting that Kim ever had with a LC? I still don't think anyone knows the true extent of what Kim had to endure at the hands of her father and abandoning mother, and I think that's a big disservice to her progress. I just get fed up when these woman expect a new housemate, and suddenly get defensive and close ranks before she gets here. Are women really that shallow? They make me ashamed to be a woman. I'd like to think I wouldn't act that way if I was in their position.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

eire_heart74 1231 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 03-21-06, 09:22 AM (EST) 6. "RE: The "First New HM" syndrome" I really do feel sorry for whenever any new people show up already into the season. They seem to have it so much harder. I wonder how Jill would be if she hadn't been able to be on the show from day one? Would she have taken on that all knowing role that she sporting by the end of her time there? Could be why Allison returning as a season vet was so in charge of that house to the point of being a supreme dictator. I agree with the other poster. Had TJ stayed on, she would of gotten Kim into the click. She knows what it feels liek to be so left out of the loop.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Shazbot 226 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 03-23-06, 01:54 PM (EST) 7. "RE: The "First New HM" syndrome" LAST EDITED ON 03-23-06 AT 01:55 PM (EST) "Yep, I'll call it the "First New House Mate" syndrome. Just like the person who wins the vehicle on Survivor never wins the million dollars, and the woman who gets the first rose on The Bachelor never gets the final rose. The woman who enters as the First New House Mate gets the least support from the house." Well KitKatKarlson - I hate to call you on this, because really it shows that I've been paying WAY too much attention to these things, but Amber did win the car and the million dollars... and Amanda did receive the first rose and ended up being chosen by bachelor Alex (as he pointed out). Okay - I will get back on topic now. But I agree completely that Kim's problems mirrored (oh no, that word) her entry as the first new housemate. I guess the question is - do the person's problems determine who will be the first new houseguest?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

KitKatKarlson 12 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 03-23-06, 09:42 PM (EST) 8. "RE: The "First New HM" syndrome" Actually, "Ambuh" didn't win the car....Boston Rob did, and he gave the extra car to her as per his privilege of winning. And that's not just my theory....its "Survivor" folklore. I didn't dream it up. As for the first rose, I didn't watch the Bachelor until the 3rd season, so I didn't know they were doing the first rose/first one-on-one date that early. As for the first new HM syndrome...lets see. Kimberlyn said she wanted to learn to drive, but what she really needed was to get a life away from her mom....independence. Sommer had weight and self-esteem issues. Kim needs to learn to connect with people. In season one, that first group were like hungry sharks, and I think that no matter who they sent it, they would have completely devoured them. In season two, they should have skipped Sommer and sent in that loud-mouthed red-head instead....what was her name, anyway? And I think Kim should have been an original house mate. Let Jill come in and try to settle in. Kim should have had the chance to bond with women who were all getting their feet wet at the same time.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Shazbot 226 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 03-24-06, 12:01 PM (EST) 9. "RE: The "First New HM" syndrome" I remember Amber jumping in the driver's seat, and I guess that's why I thought she won. ... but I digress. I didn't watch the second season of SO. And was it pregnant Josie who was the new houseguest on season one? I guess they did devour her... that screaming match between her and Rain as they tried to prevent Josie from going back to her boyfriend. Whatever it was - that was great t.v. Though I remember it was Christine who had the bad rap from the other houseguests on season one... though I don't know when she came in. I too think Kim would've faired much better as an original. She's dynamic, but isn't with a dynamic bunch. And I guess because Jill was an original this season, we will forever be hearing from her... you know in the universe.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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