A fabulously gorgeous woman in a blue dress and stiletto heels walks into the classroom, where bored students are having a paper fight. Stunned by her amazing looks, they immediately stop fighting and sit calmly in their seats.Anyone have a problem with that? Fine, write your own damn narrative. I think it's lovely.
Bebo: Good morning, class. I hope you've been enjoying your studies here at SherpaDave High School. Let's start the day by singing the school song.
The class shuffles to their feet and stares at a giant picture of two green eyes.
SherpaDave, we love you
Eyes of green, man of blue
Loves to write, we do too
Yes Sherps, we love you.
Everyone sits back down.
Bebo: Since some of you have vacant stares that may or may not be permanent, I'll point out that this is a writing class. More specifically, we're going to be studying Persona Narratives. I'm your guest instructor, Bebo. Apparently, the original instructor for this course, Wheezy, was unable to complete her prior assignment in time to prepare for this class. I'm sure you'll all join me in wishing her well in finding Dobby and giving him the damn sweater already.
The class murmurs. A stunningly good-looking man in a diaper raises his hand.
Bebo: Um, yes, um...
Diaper man smiles and puts down his hand.
Meemo: You can call me Meemo.
Bebo: I'll call you anything you want.
Nailbone: Hey, quit flirting with the other students!
Bebo: Please don't be excessively whiny. And let Meemo finish making his proposition, I mean, asking his question.
Meemo: Are we going to be tested on why Wheezy couldn't teach?
Bebo: Uh, no. Any more questions?
Most of the students just stare at the ceiling, until an ear-splitting screech from the intercom makes them fight back tears.
Sleeeve (over the loudspeaker): Good morning, students. This is Vice Principal Sleeeve with a few announcements. First, there is a silver bubble car in the parking lot with its lights on. The license plate is SWISH, and there is a bumper sticker that says, "Do It In Salt Water".
Silvergirl swims out and excuses herself from the class.
Sleeeve: Second, we're getting numerous reports of unicorn droppings around campus. I'd like to remind students that while we permit pets on campus, we do expect you to clean up after them.
SaphireLady jumps up and excuses herself from the class.
Sleeeve: Third, there have been reports of people "doing things" in front of the windows while other people watch. While I have not received specific reports of what those things might be, I will be investigating, since I may want to watch them myself.
Swami smiles and excuses herself from the class.
Sleeeve: Finally, I'd like to remind everyone that student government elections will take place tomorrow. We would like to ask anyone who has information on the recent vandalism to come to my office immediately. Someone has been writing "Technoir is a poo poo head" all over Anotherkim's posters.
Technoir (interrupting): I am not a poo poo head.
Anotherkim and Technoir storm out of the room, excusing themselves from class.
Sleeeve: That’s the end of this morning’s announcements. Please check the list posted by the gym to see whose turn it is to submit the State of the Morning Announcements. That person should have the SOTMA completed by the second recess period.
Northernlights, Moonbaby, Ashmo, PaperCupPrincess, and GeorgiaBelle run out of the room to check the list.
Bebo: Well, now that we have that business out of the way, we can move on to our discussion of Persona Narratives. Does anyone know what a Persona Narrative is? Sunny_Bunny?
Sunny_Bunny: Well, this one time, at Band Camp…
Bebo (interrupting): Um, not exactly, SB. Let’s try someone else. RudyRules? Could you or SnoopySucks fill us in on Persona Narratives?
RudyRules: I just wanted to point out that we were the stars of Blowsvivor.
Bebo (sighing): OK, peeps. I can see we’re going to have to start at the very beginning. A persona narrative is a story using peeps from Survivor Blows to tell an entertaining story. Jims, you have a question?
Jims02: Um, no, more of an observation. I’ve been studying the opening credits, and I really think that Boatman is the Mole.
Bebo: Jims, I think you’re in the wrong class. We’re talking about Persona Narratives, not Spoiling Techniques.
Jims02: Ohhhhh…
Jims02 stands up and excuses himself from class.
Bebo: Yes, I_AM_HE?
I_AM_HE: I’m in the wrong class too. I’m on the Spoiling/Fantasy Sports track, not the Personal Narrative one. Will you sign my add/drop form?
Bebo (sighing again): Sure. Just bring it up here. Anyone else who needs for me to sign an add/drop form, just come on up.
I_AM_HE , L82Life, Survivorerist, Mon Cherie, Ahtumbreez, Sheila, Jkokoj, Rebel Crown, Schnookie Palookie, Echogirl, Tinkerbell, KScott, Breezy, Coconut, and Devious Weasel brought their forms to Bebo to sign and then left the class.
Bebo: Meemo and Nailbone, it looks like it’s just the three of us. Wanna go to the Bar?
Nailbone: Wait a minute, aren’t we going to learn anything about persona narratives?
Bebo: Here are the two best tips I can give you. First, mention everybody who wants to be mentioned, and you’ll have happy peeps.
Meemo scribbles notes furiously.
Nailbone: And the second tip?
Bebo: Be the only entry in the Story Competition. It’s a cheap win, but hey, some of us will take what we can get.
Nailbone: Works for me.
Meemo: Me too. Let’s head to the Bar.
Bebo, Nailbone, and Meemo head to the Bar, leaving Mistofleas all by herself in the back of the room.
Mistofleas: I can’t believe she didn’t include me. I am so offended!
Bebo, Carolina Panthers fan - our motto: Promise not to hurt us, we won't try to score.
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