>Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? No melanin in human hair.
>Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?
There's no minor tightening of the skin around the eyes.
>Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
The smart ones aren't about to let people know they can do it.
>Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
For the same reason that 'etc' is such a short abbreviation.
>Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
As long as any patients still die, they haven't gotten it right yet.
>Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor,
>and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Have you ever actually tasted raw lemon juice?
>Why is the man who invests all your money
>called a broker?
I'm not sure, but I think it dates back to 1929.
>Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic
>called rush hour?
Blood, through ears.
>Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
How do you know it's not mouse-flavored?
>When dog food is new and improved tasting,
>who tests it?
Martha Stewart.
>Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
I'm still trying to figure out how he kept an eye on all those viruses.
>You know that indestructible black box >that is used on
> airplanes????? Why don't they make the whole plane
>out of that stuff?!
Too dense: the plane would never get off the ground.
>Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
The whole sheep isn't made out of wool.
>Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck
> together?
Because after you live in one for a while, you'll never want other people near you again.
>If con is the opposite of pro,
>is Congress the opposite of progress?
Yes.
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