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frodis 4442 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 08-16-11, 04:48 PM (EST) "In Memory of... What OT can do" For a group of invisible strangers, OT is a pretty special place. The recent loss of our friend Vince and our shared sorrow for Tummy's family have shown that we care for each other, whether invisible or not. I know that the thoughts and prayers and condolences offered to those who are hurting mean so much and are a great source of comfort. Some people have asked whether there is anything more that we can do. For Tummy, Bre, and Mike's family I asked Tummy whether she, or Bre, or Mike's family needed anything, anything at all, beyond our condolences. She gave me a great idea, which I think is perfect for our group here. They have printed out lots and lots of photos of Mike and of Mike and Bre, in all different sizes. Tummy thought that it would be a pretty special gift if we were to assemble a box of assorted picture frames, and send it to Bre with our condolences. I would be happy to assemble the gift box of picture frames, along with any cards or anything that anyone would like to send to Bre. If you are interested in participating in this, in any way, please send me a PM. I'd like to collect the frames over the next couple of weeks, with the target being to send the gift box to Bre just after Labor day (Sept 5.) I can extend that a bit if people want more time. For monetary donations, Tummy said that the Navy is setting up some memorial funds for donations for those were killed. I'd prefer that any money anyone wants to send go through that channel. Let's keep the gift box to just frames and cards and notes. For Vince For Vince, there's a finer line to walk, since we're not in direct contact with his family and we can't actually be sure if they're aware of his participation here. Rather than spring a crazy surprise on them at this fragile time, I think it might be best to send any condolence cards through the PO Box that the funeral home has offered. (rather than having it seem like a bunch of online people tracked the family down.) Participation in the online memorial guestbook is very thoughtful, as well. If OT thinks that we should collect condolence cards and send them in one packet to the PO Box, I'd be happy to coordinate that. Or, I don't know that it would be a problem to just leave it up to each individual to decide whether they would like to do that. (I know this is being discussed in the Sad News thread, too, so I guess I'm cross-threading a bit.) There's no pressure to do anything, of course. Thoughts and prayers are very powerful and truly a gift from the heart. This is just for anyone who felt that they might like to do something directly for these families.   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: In Memory of... What OT can do ARnutz 08-16-11 1    RE: In Memory of... What OT can do frodis 08-16-11 2    RE: In Memory of... What OT can do frankz 08-16-11 3        RE: In Memory of... What OT can do ARnutz 08-16-11 10            RE: In Memory of... What OT can do frankz 08-17-11 14                RE: In Memory of... What OT can do cahaya 08-17-11 15                    RE: In Memory of... What OT can do frankz 08-17-11 21    RE: In Memory of... What OT can do kingfish 08-16-11 4        RE: In Memory of... What OT can do ARnutz 08-16-11 9            RE: In Memory of... What OT can do dabo 08-17-11 16    RE: In Memory of... What OT can do cahaya 08-16-11 5        RE: In Memory of... What OT can do kingfish 08-16-11 6            RE: In Memory of... What OT can do Zenbot 08-16-11 7            RE: In Memory of... What OT can do cahaya 08-16-11 8  RE: In Memory of... What OT can do foonermint 08-16-11 11  RE: In Memory of... What OT can do samboohoo 08-17-11 12  RE: In Memory of... What OT can do Breezy 08-17-11 13    RE: In Memory of... What OT can do kingfish 08-17-11 17  RE: In Memory of... What OT can do Karchita 08-17-11 18    RE: In Memory of... What OT can do qwertypie 08-17-11 22  RE: In Memory of... What OT can do dragonflies 08-17-11 19  RE: In Memory of... What OT can do emydi 08-17-11 20  Update frodis 08-25-11 23  Bump weltek 09-02-11 24    RE: Bump frodis 09-02-11 25  RE: In Memory of... What OT can do Tummy 09-26-11 26    RE: In Memory of... What OT can do frodis 09-26-11 27        RE: In Memory of... What OT can do Tummy 09-26-11 28            RE: In Memory of... What OT can do weltek 09-26-11 29                RE: In Memory of... What OT can do Tummy 09-26-11 30                RE: In Memory of... What OT can do samboohoo 09-26-11 31    RE: In Memory of... What OT can do kingfish 09-26-11 32        I Take foonermints 09-27-11 33            RE: I Take Tummy 09-27-11 34                RE: I Take arkiegrl 09-27-11 35

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ARnutz 13937 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-16-11, 05:00 PM (EST) 1. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" I think that is a great idea for Bre because Tummy can give you input. For Vince... speaking as one who strives to keep a certain anonymity online, I have to say, I would not want anything sent to my family should anything happen to me. I know we are all feeling compelled to do something to make US feel better, but I think Vince used this place much like I do, as an escape from the rest of it all. I think, even if his family knew he did a lot of things online, we might be opening cans of worms he never wanted open.   Top

frodis 4442 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 08-16-11, 05:08 PM (EST) 2. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" I happen to agree, Nutzy. If he did tell them about RTVW, then they already know where to find us. And if he didn't, then we should probably respect that. That said, sending a personal sympathy card through the family-approved channel is probably okay, but I'd suggest keeping it personal as "a friend" of Vince's as opposed to a collection of online personalities. If you want to be real, then, be real. You know? At least, that's how I'd prefer it, if it were me.   Top

frankz 1214 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 08-16-11, 05:08 PM (EST) 3. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" Personally I wouldn’t have a problem with it and I’m sure my family would be thrilled to hear from anonymous on-line people that were a part of my life. However, I do see your point and I think it is probably better to err on the side of caution in this case. Just my $0.02 The frames are a great idea. I'd like to participate.   Top

ARnutz 13937 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-16-11, 06:15 PM (EST) 10. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" This is the beauty of having different kinds of communities on the web. You can choose the level of privacy you want in many cases. Some people like to have others know a lot about them and some don't. I also thought about another thing which makes me say we shouldn't reach out... Vince, like me, is one who refused to join facebook. Personally, for me it is the privacy issues there. I think, from what I know of Vince, this was a consideration for him as well.   Top

frankz 1214 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 08-17-11, 09:16 AM (EST) 14. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" Well I also refuse to join Facebook but in my case it’s because I refuse to do anything “trendy.” But lots of folks find Mrs. Frank on Facebook (our last name isn’t Smith ) and ask about me. But she always asks me first if I want to reply through her account or by email, if at all.   Top

cahaya 19891 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-17-11, 09:50 AM (EST) 15. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" No Facebook or twitter here either. In short, no social networks. I don't trust the privacy limitations on either one of them. And like you, I'm not into following these trends. I felt like I stuck my neck out enough by recently agreeing to do a RTV blog on a fairly popular public site, where my family and folks already know I post often. If you google my RL name, it appears in only about three places, 1) my previous UN & WCO work while I lived in Asia 2) my university work contact and 3) mentioned on my blog site.   Top

frankz 1214 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 08-17-11, 04:30 PM (EST) 21. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" I Googled Cayaha and got nuttin’ but weird cosmic pics.   Top

kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-16-11, 05:10 PM (EST) 4. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" I agree, although for Vince, I don't think it would be untoward if in any communication or in guest book posts we identified ourself (ourselves) as simply an online friend.   Top

ARnutz 13937 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-16-11, 06:06 PM (EST) 9. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" I agree. The online guest books will be enough, I think, to let the family know, if they choose to, that he had many friends they may not have known about. It is really up to them if they want to look further.   Top

dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-17-11, 10:13 AM (EST) 16. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" re. the online guest books. You can provide your contact information if you wish when you post on them. I usually don't provide that info because I don't want any of the family or friends to feel an obligation to respond to me. That said, in the case of vince3 we do not know if any of the IRL family or friends were even aware of those guest books, they were set up automatically. In my own experience, in respect to the death last year of a cousin's son, they were informed that an online guest book had been established, and the posts there were comforting.   Top

cahaya 19891 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-16-11, 05:10 PM (EST) 5. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" Yes, I think you noted the difference between these two situations, one where the family (Tummy) is involved with us and other where the family does not know (or even know of) us. Vince's family may have been rather surprised to see tribute notes from around the U.S. and even Canada and the U.K.! I think these tributes at least gave them an idea of the many people who knew him and will fondly remember him, and this is sufficient. If anything happened to me, my family will know what to do. They're aware I'm in online communities and at least my son knows how to contact the community here in case something comes up. Thanks, Nutzy, for your good suggestions. And for caring enough to find out and letting us know.   Top

kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-16-11, 05:13 PM (EST) 6. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" So, from now on, you and your son are to travel in separate cars, trains, and airplanes. For security.   Top

Zenbot 137 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 08-16-11, 05:24 PM (EST) 7. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" LAST EDITED ON 08-16-11 AT 05:26 PM (EST) (ed. ignore this post)   Top

cahaya 19891 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-16-11, 05:27 PM (EST) 8. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" Actually, I had discussed this with someone here in PM earlier today -- about the OT buddy idea that came out the 9/11 event and other possible measures. I have an envelop of "what to do in case something happens" that covers the family things (insurance, bank accounts, financial online accounts with username & password clues, etc), but I'll want to tuck in a "who to contact online" list as well.   Top

foonermint 170 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 08-16-11, 11:11 PM (EST) 11. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" Thanks Frodis!   Top

samboohoo 17173 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-17-11, 08:43 AM (EST) 12. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" I will send you something for Bre! Great idea. Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie   Top

Breezy 18380 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-17-11, 09:10 AM (EST) 13. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" I'm going to send you stuff for Bre. Thanks so much Fro.   Top

kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-17-11, 11:14 AM (EST) 17. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" I protest against Bra stuffing! Let my people go free! (What chart, I don't see no chart). Great idea, how so very practical (please don't read any sarcasm into that). But I have no frames to send. I am just a poor drummer boy, not frame guy. But I'd like to contribute so I'll try and think of something.   Top

Karchita 4483 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 08-17-11, 01:22 PM (EST) 18. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" Thank you, Frodis, for starting this thread and for volunteering to help with both of these sad projects. Thanks to ARnutz, too, for the original post. Without it, we might have never known about Vince. I completely agree that we don't want to do anything that would freak out Vince's family, and I wouldn't think of contacting them in any way except via the PO Box. When I brought up the group idea in the other thread, my thinking was that it would be less disturbing to the family to get a message from a group that somewhat explained itself as online friends (but no details) that show that Vince was a member of a community rather than a trickle of cards from mysterious individuals. The same idea applies for a memorial, if people want to do something. For example, if we wanted to find some way to sponsor an underprivileged child to go to a Steelers game, we could go ahead and do it and simply send a message to the family that this is what a group of his friends did in his memory. They would certainly wonder, but it might be comforting, too. Or we could do what we wanted and not let the family know. Either way. With that, however, I will bow out of the discussion as others were far closer to Vince than I.   Top

qwertypie 9776 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-17-11, 05:21 PM (EST) 22. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" You've brought up some great ideas.   Top

dragonflies 8051 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-17-11, 02:23 PM (EST) 19. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" PM sent. I know what getting a box of thoughts/gifts meant to me in my downer time, it's the least I can do for Bre in her downer time.   Top

emydi 13669 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-17-11, 03:27 PM (EST) 20. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" if anyone wants the PO box address for vince's mom let me know   Top

frodis 4442 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 08-25-11, 10:08 PM (EST) 23. "Update" Hi all, Just a reminder to please PM me for details if you want to send picture frames, cards, notes, or letters to be included in the gift box that is being sent to Bre. Several of you have PM'ed me already (YAY!) It's not too late - if you still want to send something please just let me know! Don't worry about my arbitrary Labor Day deadline - if you want to send something but need some extra time it's perfectly fine. I usually wind up needing extra time, too. Also a reminder to give me a heads-up when you do send something so I can be on the lookout. THANKS!   Top

weltek 16936 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 09-02-11, 10:08 AM (EST) 24. "Bump" Just in case anyone is a procrastinator like me. -A Tribetastic Creation   Top

frodis 4442 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 09-02-11, 04:21 PM (EST) 25. "RE: Bump" Thanks! I'll also say, just a reminder to please let me know when you've sent something so I can be sure to watch for it. For anyone who still wants to get in on this gift, It's not too late - if you want to send something please do! PM me for info. Cake Haiku. Motion by Snidget/Shrunken down by Moonbaby/Ice Cat legal-sized.   Top

Tummy 3542 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 09-26-11, 12:17 PM (EST) 26. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" We received a box of "things" today with no return address on it and I'm not sure who to thank. You all are the only ones that came to mind. The box had some picture frames, coffee mugs, fuzzy socks, some Lush and teabags. No note or card. So if this if from OT - Thank You so much. And if not - please ignore this post.   Top

frodis 4442 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 09-26-11, 12:20 PM (EST) 27. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" Ha! I love that you have secret angels. I have not sent our box of goodies, yet. A Mmmmmmmoonie plate special!   Top

Tummy 3542 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 09-26-11, 01:22 PM (EST) 28. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" Arghhh! There's no return address and the postage stamp has gotten wet and unreadable. It's going to put my super sleuthing abilities to the test! I was sure it was you.   Top

weltek 16936 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 09-26-11, 02:37 PM (EST) 29. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" I'm pretty sure it was Jake Pavelka. He probably trolls the boards and was moved by you and Bre. And you know Jake, he's always trolling for love and thinks Bre's a hot chick. At least that would make a really good story to tell people. -A Tribetastic Creation   Top

Tummy 3542 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 09-26-11, 02:49 PM (EST) 30. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" Lol - this. made me laugh.   Top

samboohoo 17173 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 09-26-11, 02:51 PM (EST) 31. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" He would have sent a rose. Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie   Top

kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 09-26-11, 03:01 PM (EST) 32. "RE: In Memory of... What OT can do" Process of elimination: - It was wet, so not from Texas. - It was only wet, not soaked, so not from an East coaster or a North Easter. - No cheddar, so not fom Wisconson. - No fishy smell, so not from anyone with gills (ahem). - No cat fur so 90% of OT eliminated. Make that 95%. That pretty much eliminates everyone but Schoonermints. Was it wet with water or rot gut tequila?   Top

foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 09-27-11, 03:02 AM (EST) 33. "I Take" Great offense at being #2. Forever and ever, as I recall a certain someone branding me. *sob*   Top

Tummy 3542 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 09-27-11, 08:21 AM (EST) 34. "RE: I Take" Who?! I sniffed the package, no tequila, moonshine or rut-gut.   Top

arkiegrl 9421 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 09-27-11, 12:08 PM (EST) 35. "RE: I Take" Rut-gut? *snort*   Top

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