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Red Lady 2010 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 11-28-02, 04:01 PM (EST) "Not that thankful today?" Better check out this list... It's Thanksgiving Day but I know a lot of you out there just aren't in the mood. Yeah, you're the ones mopping the floor with your chins and thinking that life reeks and that you've got absolutely nothing to be grateful for. But I'm here to remind you that misery is a relative thing. No matter how screwed up your life is, things could be screwier. If you don't believe me, all you have to do is turn to the bizarre world of television, where plenty of personal reinforcement can be found. For example, while you're tearing into a big, juicy drumstick today, just thank your lucky stars that you're not slurping down gooey pig intestines on "Fear Factor". See? Don't you feel better already? If you're still not convinced, I encourage you to take the next step and participate in my verbal pick-me-up. Now, zap on the TV, toss another candied yam down your gullet and repeat after me: I have reason to be extra thankful today because.... 1) I have never found myself on the messy end of a Tony Soprano whack job. 2) I'm not the meat-head responsible for "girls club". 3) My brain, at this point in time, still contains considerably more active ingredients than that blithering metal-rock god Ozzy Osborne. 4) I don't have to stay up all day and night chasing really bad guys around Los Angeles a la secret agent Jack Bauer in "24". 5) My name is not Sponge-Bob Square Pants. 6) I have never had the snot slapped out of me by some low-life Hollywood has-been on "Celebrity Boxing". 7) I don't receive my mail at a maximum security penitentiary called "Oz". 8) So far, John Edwards has not tried to contact me duing an episode of "Crossing Over". 9) My buddies have yet to see me play a game of strip billiards on "Blind Date". 10) No matter how obnoxious, judgemental and insufferable my relatives might be today, they still won't hold a candle to that despicable Simon Cowell on "American Idol". 11) My life has never been the subject of an E! "True Hollywood Story". 12) I am not now and never will be a programmer for UPN. 13) I didn't bet my life savings on the long-term staying power of "Push, Nevada". 14) I have never cried my eyes out like a big helpless, blubbering baby in front of Dr. Phil. 15) I've got at least twice as much meat on my turkey as Lara Flynn Boyle has on her Pez dispenser-like frame. 16) My remote control has a mute button that allows me to tune out Morgan Fairchild and all those mind-numbing Old Navy commercials. 17) It's a free country, dang it, and I don't really have to love Raymond if I don't want to. 18) I have never been touched by an angel. 19) I'm not spending this holiday stranded on a godforsaken island with a bunch of bickering, backbiting celebrity wannabes. 20) I'm pretty sure I have more friends than Phil Donohue has viewers. 21) Yes, I may be desperate at times, but not quite desperate enough to watch "Dinotopia" tonight. 22) It's not a job requirement where I work to be as sickeningly perky as Katie Couric. 23) Knock on wood, but I have yet to be mistaken for a corpse on "CSI". 24) Unlike Jerry Springer, I still have some semblance of dignity. 25) I have never made a complete and utter fool of myself by trying to find a potential spouse over the course of six weeks on a ridiculously contrived reality show. 26) I have never been caught by video cameras wearing only handcuffs and undies on an episode of "Cops". 27) My makeup isn't being done by little Federico on "Six Feet Under". 28) I have never been forced to see Dennis Franz completely naked. 29) I know that there is a merciful god in heaven and that "Dawson's Creek" will probably come to an end before I die. 30) I am not nearly as sad, pathetic and disgusting as Anna Nicole. 31) I'm not nearly as brain-dead as Joey on "Friends". 32) I'm not nearly as boring as Larry King. 33) I have never been insulted and/or ridiculed by that venom-spewing shrew Judge Judy. And on that note, I wish you all a thankful day! Regards, | Source: The West County Times, 11/28/02, by Chuck Barry   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Not that thankful today? Drive My Car 11-29-02 1  RE: Not that thankful today? MandyM 11-29-02 2  RE: Not that thankful today? L82LIFE 11-29-02 3  RE: Not that thankful today? Sophie 11-29-02 4    RE: Not that thankful today? Drive My Car 11-29-02 5  RE: Not that thankful today? Survivorchick 11-29-02 6    RE: Not that thankful today? Red Lady 11-29-02 7  Thankful!!! Crimsyn 11-30-02 8    RE: Thankful!!! L82LIFE 11-30-02 9  RE: Not that thankful today? Ashmo 11-30-02 10  RE: Not that thankful today? Lisapooh 12-02-02 11  RE: Not that thankful today? anotherkim 12-02-02 12  RE: Not that thankful today? true 12-02-02 13

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Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 11-29-02, 12:36 PM (EST) 1. "RE: Not that thankful today?" LOL I love this list! Thanks for sharing it! I am even more Thankful now! Buggy- who cried when Dad said the Blessing yesterday   Top

MandyM 2112 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 11-29-02, 12:41 PM (EST) 2. "RE: Not that thankful today?" LOLOL RL! I especially liked the Lara Flynn Boyle one and the Cops one! Heeeeeee! Mandy (who is very THANKFUL she survived the 6 am shopping frenzy this morning!) MM "We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time." - Vince Lombardi   Top

L82LIFE 5333 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 11-29-02, 01:07 PM (EST) 3. "RE: Not that thankful today?" Very funny list, RL. I guess I do have a lot more to be thankful for than I ever realized.   Top

Sophie 2407 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Seventeen Magazine Model" 11-29-02, 01:17 PM (EST) 4. "RE: Not that thankful today?" *giggles* I love it RL!!! *who would be extra thankful if she could leave work to go shopping*   Top

Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 11-29-02, 02:11 PM (EST) 5. "RE: Not that thankful today?" L8 is done shopping, it should be safe to go out now. *giggle* feeling goofy   Top

Survivorchick 1161 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 11-29-02, 02:17 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Not that thankful today?" But Red Lady? What happens if I've done atleast five of the things on that list?   Top

Red Lady 2010 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 11-29-02, 02:32 PM (EST) 7. "RE: Not that thankful today?" SurvivorChick... I understand there are support groups available. Regards,   Top

Crimsyn 590 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 11-30-02, 00:54 AM (EST) 8. "Thankful!!!" I had an awesome Turkey Day! Key moments: 1. Driving up to my grandmother's house and seeing 17 vehicles surrounding the place. Inside there were over 30 people. Biggest gathering that we've had in years, that wasn't caused by a funeral. 2. My 3 year old neice shouting out Amen various times during the prayer because "I starvin so bad! See my wittle tummy? We gotta eat soon!" 3. BEST. FOOD. EVER. 4. BEST. NAPS. EVER. 5. Leftovers for a week!!!! I think that I am better than the people who are trying to reform me. -- Edgar Watson Howe   Top

L82LIFE 5333 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 11-30-02, 11:49 AM (EST) 9. "RE: Thankful!!!" Glad you had such a wonderful time, Crims. Oh, and Buggy-I HEARD THAT! Heehee.   Top

Ashmo 545 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 11-30-02, 10:57 PM (EST) 10. "RE: Not that thankful today?" This was hilarious. Made me giggle. Ashmo   Top

Lisapooh 12664 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 12-02-02, 09:49 AM (EST) 11. "RE: Not that thankful today?" That was hilarious Red Lady!! thanksgiving was awesome but I missed my OT peeps. I'm thankful for all your contrary asses!! too much wine - too much pie - too much cheeseball. God, I love Thanksgiving   Top

anotherkim 14420 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 12-02-02, 10:10 AM (EST) 12. "RE: Not that thankful today?" LMAO 17) It's a free country, dang it, and I don't really have to love Raymond if I don't want to. He annoys the piss out of me. Miscellaneous Ramblings   Top

true 9689 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 12-02-02, 10:32 AM (EST) 13. "RE: Not that thankful today?" Great list! Thanks RL! true   Top

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