LAST EDITED ON 06-06-03 AT 03:12 PM (EST)LAST EDITED ON 06-06-03 AT 01:38 PM (EST)
LAST EDITED ON 06-06-03 AT 01:33 PM (EST)
LAST EDITED ON 06-06-03 AT 11:53 AM (EST)
TSI Episode 2: Torn Between Two Masks, Looking Like a Fool Welcome to TSI, the TAR Stupidity Index. I'm your fantabulously evil hostess, Bebo. Each week, I'll do my recap of the stupid moves and occasionally smart strategy in the TAR world.
Quick recap of the rules:
Rule #1 - If a team does something stupid that can affect their survival/position in TAR, I will award them Ryans (named for the first contestant booted from CBS's last reality show, Survivor: Amazon).
Rule #2 - If a team goes against the norm for reality TV contestants and does something particularly strategic (or strategeric, for GWB fans), I may award a Dicque (named for Richard Hatch, the first and foremost CBS reality show strategist).
Rule #3 - There is no appeal process. I am an evil tyrant. Since this is purely subjective, I have decided that the reason "Because I said so" is sufficient for decision making.
Rule #4 - The first week was high-scoring due to some overall Ryans that needed to be awarded based on the team, not based on gameplay. The scores for subsequent weeks will probably be lower. Dicques and Ryans are not really that easy to get.
Rule #5 - Teams are listed in overall scoring order. For scoring purposes, 1 Dicque is roughly equivalent to 10 Ryans.
Rule #6 - There is no rule 6.
Previously on TSI...
This week on TSI...
Jon & Al (Last week's rank - 2): While waiting at the train station, Jon used his Italian to discover that they would make faster time by taking the bus to the other train station. This move put the two teams that weren't at the station at a disadvantage. It ended up having no effect on the standings, but asking those questions and using wait time to try and find a faster route is an intelligent strategy that can serve the team well in the long run. They are hereby awarded 1 Dicque.
This week: 0 Ryans, 1 Dicque
Game total: 1 Ryan, 2 Dicques
Millie & Chuck (3): They are hereby awarded a Dicque for taking the Detour less traveled by in Venice and successfully navigating it quickly to take the lead back over all of the teams in the gondolas. But then, by going sightseeing instead of keeping their position in line, they gave the advantage right back.
This week: 1 Ryan, 1 Dicque
Game total: 3 Ryans, 2 Dicques
Steve & Josh (1): Last week's #1 team lost their ground in the masked ball. First, Josh whined about Reichen & Chip starting a line while he and Pops were sightseeing. Um, why were you there, Josh? And then he got his first guess wrong on the masks, costing his team valuable time. And fighting with the most athletic team, even when they act like babies, is now wise when you can't run, Steve.
This week: 12 Ryans, 0 Dicques
Game total: 12 Ryans, 2 Dicques
Steve & Dave (T-6): Awarded 1 Dicque for using the Fast Forward at an appropriate time. Yes, they used it early, and I severely penalized a team last week for doing so. But these guys were injured, in a city that required a lot of walking (and possibly running), and all of the teams were bunched. The extra rest will give their knees a chance to heal, and they saved themselves from potentially losing a sprint to the finish.
This week: 0 Ryans, 1 Dicque
Game total: 1 Ryan, 1 Dicque
Reichen & Chip (8): Slick move, guys, pulling the widdle temper tantrum in front of the door to tick off the other teams. That's a couple of Ryans right there. But when everyone saw that the next route location didn't open until 5pm, most of them left to sightsee. Not you - you took the first place in line, giving yourselves an advantage in the Roadblock and a chance to vault up to second place overall. Remembering the objective was to win, not sightsee results leads me to award a Dicque.
This week: 2 Ryans, 1 Dicque
Game total: 6 Ryans, 1 Dicque
Kelly & Jon (T-6): I knew they had some material in them, and watching them slide down that hill on their butts didn't disappoint. Who else wondered if Kelly was going to sprain her ankle going down in that position? And they get a 5 Ryan penalty for getting lost during the Detour. Millie & Chuck showed the roadway could be the faster route than the waterway, but this team showed why that wasn't a sure thing.
This week: 7 Ryans, 0 Dicques
Game total: 7 Ryans, 0 Dicques
Tian & Jaree (T-9): Yes, they whined. Yes, they fought. But when you get down to brass tacks (or silicone implants, in this case), they didn't make any stupid moves this week, vaulting from last place to 4th. As much as it hurts for me to do this, I will not be penalizing them this week.
This week: 0 Ryans, 0 Dicques
Game total: 10 Ryans, 0 Dicques
Russell & Cindy (5): Ugh. Me no like neanderthal man. And me no like him talk down to woman. On Survivor, Ryan and his cohorts made the mistake of underestimating the women, and it cost him. Condescending to his partner will cost him. And they also got a 5 Ryan penalty each time they got lost. They were the second team to finish the mask challenge, but lost 5 places due to their inability to find the route marker. Advice: Do not try and get jobs as guides.
This week: 12 Ryans, 0 Dicques
Game total: 13 Ryans, 0 Dicques
Dave & Jeff (11): These guys truly lived down to the namesake of the award, when they went from first to worst due to a gondola wrong turn. For fans of S6, it brought back memories of the original Ryan and his partner trapped on the balance beam, watching a 20-minute lead slip away as they bungled their way through their challenge. Still, a significant improvement for these guys from last week. Maybe now that they're away from home, they're not completely hopeless.
This week: 5 Ryans, 0 Dicques
Game total: 25 Ryans, 0 Dicques
Amanda & Chris (3): Boo, Princess PottyMouth is gone! Just when I decide a team is cool, they go away. Just for that, I plan to start thinking the models and NFL wives are cool. Now on to the scoring. This week, the team that finished last in the race also finished last in this game for the week (but still didn't do badly enough to unseat our overall cellar dwellers). Amanda committed the minor Ryan of being too concerned with the sites of Venice from the gondola to care about the Race. No matter how gorgeous the location, first things must stay first - it's a Race, not a vacation. But Chris was the major violator, with 2 misses in the mask game. I penalized him 10 for the first, and doubled the penalty for the second since he should have known better by then.
This week: 31 Ryans, 0 Dicques
Game total: 33 Ryans, 1 Dicque
Monica & Sheree (12): OK, there's being careful, and there's being Too Damn Slow. When it came to the mask ID, this team was TDS. They were one of the first four teams allowed in, and they were the second to last team out? Unforgivable. Quick decision-making is a crucial skill for this game. They looked like the Falcons linebackers trying to figure out who to tackle (him, no him!). Sigh. This time, their lack of judgement almost cost them the chance to continue. Almost. Damn.
This week: 20 Ryans, 0 Dicques
Game total: 70 Ryans, 0 Dicques
Note: I did not award Ryans to all of the teams that went sightseeing before the masked ball, just the ones who complained about it. Why did I make the distinction? Reason #1, because those teams were showing a lack of understanding of a basic fundamental of the Race - win first, vacation later. Reason #2 - because I can.
Edited to break my own rule here...
You know, there are so many scoring categories that could be added, but then this would be really hard to tally. So I have decided that occasionally I will make special awards. Like the current awards, these will be named after CBS reality show contestants and reflect interesting team game play. These will not factor into the scoring tally, but will be reported outside of the scores.
Our first special award is from Episode 1. Some people wanted me to reward Steve & Dave for getting their tickets purchased for them, and I refused to do so since they were just the followers in the alliance at that time. But since it does merit an award, I hereby award them a Rudy, named after the famous sidekick from Survivor's first season.
This week's special award was a challenge, because there were a few options on how I could go here. As suggested, I could give teams a Gabe to the vacationers, named after the Survivor: Marquesas contestant who didn't want to play or vote anyone out of the commune, I mean game.
But instead, I'm going to make a two part presentation, based on the silly bickering started by Reichen & Chip as they literally held the door handles to make sure they got in first. For that, I will award them a Kimmi, named after that Survivor:Australia contestant who picked so many ridculous arguments.
For those fans of Survivor: Australia, what would Kimmi have been without Alicia? And what would Reichen & Chip's little temper tantrum been like without having someone to argue with? That leads to the second special award presentation of an Alicia to Steve & Josh, for getting in the face of someone picking a ridiculous argument.
Edited again to correct the winner of the Alicia.
Edited the third (and hopefully final) time to correct the Ryan scoring for the Steve teams.
Edited again to *thwap* Bucky - I made the correction, but lecturing ME about the preview button???? Bad evil minion, bad. I was trying to get back to work. My bad.
Bebo, Mistress of the Painfully Obvious and your American Idol PTTE co-champ
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