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byoffer 15947 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-04-09, 09:24 AM (EST) "Time for a laugh" Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.' The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.' Your turn.   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    Skinny Dippin jbug 05-04-09 1    RE: Skinny Dippin MKitty 05-05-09 11        RE: Skinny Dippin jbug 05-05-09 12  RE: Time for a laugh agman 05-04-09 2  RE: Time for a laugh Ahtumbreez 05-04-09 3  Corny pun for today only... Meemo 05-04-09 4  RE: Time for a laugh Max Headroom 05-04-09 5  RE: Time for a laugh foonermints 05-04-09 6    RE: Time for a laugh Ahtumbreez 05-04-09 7        RE: Time for a laugh foonermints 05-04-09 9  RE: Time for a laugh carmenbluebug 05-04-09 8  RE: Time for a laugh MKitty 05-05-09 10

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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-04-09, 09:30 AM (EST) 1. "Skinny Dippin" Good one ByO. Here's one: An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange, and lime trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five- gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!' The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.' Some old men can still think fast.   Top

MKitty 2976 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-05-09, 02:13 PM (EST) 11. "RE: Skinny Dippin" That's a good one too!! Tribe manga'd my mug   Top

jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-05-09, 02:43 PM (EST) 12. "RE: Skinny Dippin" Thank you Kitty. I thought I was being ignored   Top

agman 11166 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-04-09, 09:30 AM (EST) 2. "RE: Time for a laugh" bwahahahahahahah............I have been laughing so hard about that my stomach hurts. I think I've read it about 4 times now! Great story Byoffer. Thanks Slicey kills coach   Top

Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-04-09, 09:31 AM (EST) 3. "RE: Time for a laugh" You did your job today. I laughed. Mangalicious by The Slice 09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq 04/29/2009 Bre left Iraq 06/09/2009 Bre gets a hug from Mom   Top

Meemo 3519 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 05-04-09, 09:45 AM (EST) 4. "Corny pun for today only..." May the fourth be with you! Half man, half amazing, all DAW Yes, I did just go there   Top

Max Headroom 10069 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-04-09, 09:56 AM (EST) 5. "RE: Time for a laugh" That Canadian humour sure is funny, eh. Nice one. rocked out by agman   Top

foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-04-09, 11:48 AM (EST) 6. "RE: Time for a laugh" Since I am doing some legal stuff today, that made me laugh, and I really needed it. Thanks! tweet! Quack! Buck buck BUCK! WHAT? ..by the incredibly talented Syren. How can I hire her?   Top

Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-04-09, 11:49 AM (EST) 7. "RE: Time for a laugh" I told you I would post bail! Mangalicious by The Slice 09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq 04/29/2009 Bre left Iraq 06/09/2009 Bre gets a hug from Mom   Top

foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-04-09, 12:10 PM (EST) 9. "RE: Time for a laugh" The idea is to avoid having to post bail in the first place.   Top

carmenbluebug 109 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 05-04-09, 11:50 AM (EST) 8. "RE: Time for a laugh" Thanks for the good laugh, byoffer. I so NEEDED TO LAUGH.   Top

MKitty 2976 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-05-09, 02:12 PM (EST) 10. "RE: Time for a laugh" that was pretty damn funny! Thanks for the laugh. Tribe manga'd my mug   Top

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