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J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 10:07 AM (EST) "When you screw up all at the same time" This post is not for sympathy, so please don't take it as such. Rather, it is a confession, and a way to get things off my chest. I have been falling into a pit in the last couple days, and now everything appears to be going wrong at once. This would be bad enough if I wasn't completely 100% responsible for everything that has gone wrong. Thing #1: My checking account is monitored by my parents, tied to the fact that with my disorder, my biggest problem is always money related. My parents keep an eye on the funds, and transfer what they think I need over to the account out of my college fund at home. This is not a complaint about that system - it's very very generous, and has helped me stay out of financial trouble. My problem is, the money didn't seem to go through upon my mother's last deposit, and I'm now overdue on rent. Adding to that problem is the fact that I apparently ran out of checks and didn't even notice. I ran to the bank hoping I could get a cashier's check for the rent, but apparently my account didn't have the money yet. So that's problem one. Thing #2: My credit card bill was pretty big this month, and I actually had a good excuse - I was buying text books for school. Unfortunately, I have a bad track record of high credit card bills, and I think my parents are getting worried about my spending again. I've actually gotten better about not wasting my money, but my parents are never going to see that. Thing #3: For work, I was supposed to attend three GED teaching workshops. All of which happened to intersect with my own classes. I told my supervisor I could try and attend them, and I didn't, because of a combination of falling behind in school and going to shrink appointments. I neglected to tell her this, and she's rightfully pissed. I don't bring up my illness with my teachers or employers, because I always hope internally that I can function well enough that nobody will ever know. I don't mention the frequent doctor's appointments, or the fact that I'm struggling in school. The only reason? It's embarassing, and I don't like bringing personal problems out where they can be inspected. I don't know if I should tell my boss or not about the medical issue, but I'm at the point where she's going to question my reliability, and frankly, she has every right to. I haven't felt this bad/stupid in a long time, and I feel like I have nbody to talk to, and as cliche as it sounds, I really feel like nobody except maybe my doctor would understand. I almost want to hurt myself, something I've never felt like doing before, and my friends in the Real World aren't understanding or comforting people. I really just want to cry all day. Sorry for this. I had to get it off my chest. If you are sure that you're right, you probably aren't.   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: When you screw up all at the sa... mrc 10-02-07 1  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... blacknwhitedog 10-02-07 2  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... bullzeye 10-02-07 3  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... zipperhead 10-02-07 4    RE: When you screw up all at the sa... syren 10-02-07 14  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... azkate 10-02-07 5  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... Snidget 10-02-07 6  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... dragonflies 10-02-07 7  Update #1 J Slice 10-02-07 8    RE: Update #1 blacknwhitedog 10-02-07 9        RE: Update #1 J Slice 10-02-07 10            RE: Update #1 arkiegrl 10-02-07 37    RE: Update #1 AyaK 10-02-07 12        RE: Update #1 J Slice 10-02-07 15            RE: Update #1 azkate 10-02-07 19    RE: Update #1 mysticwolf 10-02-07 22    RE: Update #1 geg6 10-02-07 25  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... Spanky68 10-02-07 11  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... kingfish 10-02-07 13  more hugs! smokeysmom 10-02-07 16  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... jbug 10-02-07 17  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... foonermints 10-02-07 18  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... Max Headroom 10-02-07 20  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... Sagebrush Dan 10-02-07 21  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... Lasann 10-02-07 23  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... whimsey 10-02-07 24  There will be moonbaby 10-02-07 26  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... Ahtumbreez 10-02-07 27  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... nailbone 10-02-07 28  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... qwertypie 10-02-07 29    RE: When you screw up all at the sa... MKitty 10-03-07 43  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... EMTBGRL 10-02-07 30    RE: When you screw up all at the sa... whimsey 10-02-07 36  Update #2 J Slice 10-02-07 31    RE: Update #2 mysticwolf 10-02-07 38    RE: Update #2 Sagebrush Dan 10-03-07 45    RE: Update #2 Spanky68 10-04-07 46  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... Sunny_Bunny 10-02-07 32  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... Estee 10-02-07 33    RE: When you screw up all at the sa... zipperhead 10-02-07 34        RE: When you screw up all at the sa... J Slice 10-02-07 35  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... Denalio 10-02-07 39  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... frisky 10-03-07 40  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... Silvergirl1 10-03-07 41  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... berwyn 10-03-07 42  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... RudyRules 10-03-07 44  RE: When you screw up all at the sa... FishWoman 10-04-07 47

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mrc 10113 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 10:21 AM (EST) 1. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" I'm never good at these types of situations, so I'll just say {{hugs}} and wait for someone else to dispense the wisdom.   Top

blacknwhitedog 6532 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 10:25 AM (EST) 2. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" {hugs} slicey {hugs} you need to talk to someone- your doctor or your parents- please don't try to go it alone hey you are a very bright young woman- you can do this- hang in there! we are all here for you! Syren 2007   Top

bullzeye 5030 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 10:27 AM (EST) 3. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" Well, if you won't take any sympathy, how about a little empathy? Sounds like you are juggling way too many things at the moment and are getting (rightfully), overwhelmed. I can't give you any advice on the medical condition. What I will say is that you need to reduce the number of things you are dealing with. Have a candid talk with your parents to quickly resolve the first two issues. You have mentioned in the past that your family is well off - I doubt your folks would have any issue clearing this up for you. With that off of your chest, you will be able to think more clearly about how to deal with your third problem. While I can appreciate you not wanting to discuss your condition with your employer, you may find it a blessing if you do. {{{Hugs}}} and best wishes to you. Another Arkie Masterpiece!   Top

zipperhead 3442 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 10-02-07, 10:30 AM (EST) 4. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" LAST EDITED ON 10-02-07 AT 10:32 AM (EST) I normally prefer to reply to posts like these via pm because I think of them as private issues. However, there are things I want to say to people in the general public, so I hope you (J Slice) don't mind. This post is not for sympathy, so please don't take it as such. Regardless of your intent, it is okay to ask for and hope for sympathy. There should be no shame whatsoever in asking people to recognize and account for the troubles you are going through. I have been falling into a pit in the last couple days, and now everything appears to be going wrong at once. IIRC, you are bi-polar correct? Please, please, please stay on your medication. That is absolutley the most imporatant thing right now. You will get out of this "pit" if you just keep moving forward day by day. My problem is, the money didn't seem to go through upon my mother's last deposit, and I'm now overdue on rent. Call your landlord and let him/her/them know exactly when they can expect a payment. Even if it's going to be a week or more late, at least they know that you are aware of the situation and that you are taking steps to correct it. Thing #2: My credit card bill was pretty big this month, and I actually had a good excuse - I was buying text books for school. That's all anyone needs to know. Show receipts, if you have to. Thing #3: For work, I was supposed to attend three GED teaching workshops. I told my supervisor I could try and attend them, and I didn't.... Try to explain to her that you did not blow them off, that you recognize how beneficial they could be for you and that you look forward to attending whatever events are coming up in the future. I don't bring up my illness with my teachers or employers, because I always hope internally that I can function well enough that nobody will ever know. Always a tough one. I am in favor of full disclosure. You are who you are. Though it is true that there are still broad stereotypes and misconceptions regarding people with mental illnesses and their ability to function, you can prove people wrong by doing what everyone else does. In the long run, people will respect you more. It's better than having them think you're lazy or selfish or forgetful or whatever. I haven't felt this bad/stupid in a long time, and I feel like I have nbody to talk to, and as cliche as it sounds, I really feel like nobody except maybe my doctor would understand. Call your doctor. Today. Schedule an extra appointment. I almost want to hurt myself, something I've never felt like doing before,... I know of another young woman who is bi-polar. Her medicine wasn't regulating her swings properly. She jumped off of a bridge over a highway last summer. And survived. But she had two broken ankles, a broken wrist and a busted tailbone. She couldn't walk for weeks and recently one of her legs had to be re-broken because it wasn't healing properly. Hurting yourself is not the answer. Things can get worse if you continue that line of thought. Call your doctor. TODAY! ... and my friends in the Real World aren't understanding or comforting people. Umm, hello? We're as real as you can get! Well, except for Estee. She's just a sock puppet for Webby. I really just want to cry all day. Go ahead. Cry tomorrow, too, if it helps. Just be sure to find something that makes you smile one of these days.   Top

syren 5418 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 11:42 AM (EST) 14. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" Excellent advice, especially the crying part. Crying helps (women at least) ease emotional stress. What?   Top

azkate 240 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 10-02-07, 10:40 AM (EST) 5. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" Can I quietly step in here and offer you a big hug? (I haven't been around for a while - dealing with the Asperger thing so I can empathise a little, I think.) The disclose/not to disclose is a tough question. One that we will face often too. The best advice I have heard yet about this - if you feel it is necessary to disclose due to a job or personal situation - you might not have to fully disclose and take your chances that the disclosee will or will not understand. Instead explain what part of being bipolar has affected the circumstance. For example, a part of the dx of Asperger's (a very small part) is that my DS has severe short term memory problems. In certain circumstances we just explain that and leave it at that. The disclosee finds that easier to deal with and you don't have to end up educating them to the very broad spectrum you deal with everyday. I hope this helps? {{{hugs}}} another tribe work of art   Top

Snidget 44369 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 10:44 AM (EST) 6. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" {{{Hugs}}} It is pretty normal in graduate school to get overwhelmed and over-scheduled and over-spent no matter what all else is going on in your life. I know your mental health problems do not help, but this is not unusual for people going through the pressure cooker that is graduate school. Some of the pressure cooker is just from where young adults are in their life, some of that pressure cooker is how the process is designed. If it were really easy everyone would do it. Don't make me come up there to pry that emotional baseball bat out of your hand. I would call the doctor and see if there is anything that you need to do from the medical/therapy side of things to help you through this. They may also have ideas for ways for you to cope and get yourself out of this. What is important is that you come up with a plan to work yourself back out of this and take a moment to see what gets you into these sorts of situations. If you can see what gets it going you might be able to do something about it earlier in the process. Catching it early is not always easy, but it is something we all have to learn. Screwing up is something you, and everyone else, is going to do. (you don't want to tell your friends about this because you don't think they would understand, well they aren't telling you about their screw ups because they also think they are supposed to have it all together and aren't going to reveal they are screwed up.) What is important is what you do to get back on track. People who succeed learn how to get back on track when they screw up. It isn't because they do not screw up. Asking for the help you need to get back on track is part of the process. It isn't easy, but it's the way life goes.   Top

dragonflies 8051 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 10:51 AM (EST) 7. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" {hugs} to you my dear. We all love you very much, and are fine with you sharing. It is ok, really. I read the responses above me, and concur. Especially the talk to your doctor today one, and the tell your boss a bit about your condition or what you are dealing with. Letting your landlord and parents know what is going on will help those items too. Please please please keep talking to us. We are "here" for you, even if it is only in the box, and the hugs are virtual, not physical. You are a remarkable woman. Simplify a bit more, and things will get easier. split by Slicey   Top

J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 11:03 AM (EST) 8. "Update #1" First of all, thank you to every one of you on OT. Your virtual hugs feel very real. Contact works so well, even if it's only letters on a screen. Thank you. As per Bullzeye's suggestion, I called my dad, although I wasn't really able to be anything close to candid. I was more hysterical. My parents are both saints when I'm in these states - they always manage to get me to calm down, step back, and not beat the living shit out of myself. My dad's helping me as we speak, and I plan on enclosing a letter with the check to explain for the lateness (I can't recall off the top of my head who suggested this, but it seems like sage advice). Problem #3 is still one that I need to think about, but I'm considering disclosure. It's no wiser to keep a mental illness entirely to yourself than it is to keep a physical illness to yourself. If you are sure that you're right, you probably aren't.   Top

blacknwhitedog 6532 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 11:14 AM (EST) 9. "RE: Update #1" Glad you called your dad! this is for you   Top

J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 11:15 AM (EST) 10. "RE: Update #1" My word, thank you. If only he were the one to deliver me my late rent notice. If you are sure that you're right, you probably aren't.   Top

arkiegrl 9421 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 07:32 PM (EST) 37. "RE: Update #1" Sadly, no visual, but you should still check this out. {{{Hugs}}}   Top

AyaK 10426 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 11:31 AM (EST) 12. "RE: Update #1" Julia, I've been through this (your Problem #3) with my wife many times. On the one hand, she doesn't want anyone to know about her issues with bipolar disorder. She feels it stigmatizes her. On the other hand, it's hard to avoid discussion of it in some circumstances (like when she won't get out of bed for days at a time, or when she goes off her medication and is trying to buy a $1.5 million house). My personal feeling is that people should know. Yes, it makes their responses unpredictable, sometimes in frustrating ways. But I've found it easier to live with that then to have to explain the weird events that happen from time to time. It's easier for her as well ... although I'm not sure she agrees with that a majority of the time. And your situation is easier to explain than my wife's. You've accomplished a lot on your own. Things do happen. So my advice would be to be open. But we're here for you whatever you decide. Paul (AyaK)   Top

J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 11:43 AM (EST) 15. "RE: Update #1" Thanks a lot, man. I figured that if anyone here would really understand #3, it would be you. It's not an easy topic to bring up, and I often have the fear that people will either think I'm trying to excuse my behavior, or they will have no idea how to treat me in the future. I don't want my behavior to affect her feelings about how I teach, because I'm good at that part of my job, but I'm very disorganized, and I have a terrible memory. My only real remaining problem is the discussion with my boss. I've never, not once, been able to talk about it without getting visibly upset. I think I'll probably follow AZKate's advice on that one, just mention some of the symptoms, and hope that will be enough of an explanation. If you are sure that you're right, you probably aren't.   Top

azkate 240 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 10-02-07, 12:26 PM (EST) 19. "RE: Update #1" Hey J, As always, it depends on the situation/people you are dealing with. We've had some really great support from friends and family when we disclosed that our DS is on the autism spectrum. We have also had some really ignorant and hurtful reactions from friends and family. Since it is hard to truly walk in my DS shoes, I found a couple of online support forums where folks on the autism spectrum discuss the issues they deal with. Disclosure being one of them and the responses varied. Is there an online support system for the bipolar community? Perhaps you could find some recommendations there too? (Note - this does not in any way disparage OT. I think everyone here has great advice and obviously cares for you very much.) I hope your day is improving and you feel a little better about yourself. another tribe work of art   Top

mysticwolf 10692 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 01:21 PM (EST) 22. "RE: Update #1" {{{HUGS}}} I'm glad you talked to your dad. Your folks can help you take care of some of these issues, which will take some of the pressure off so you can better manage the other issues. Please, please, please talk to your Dr. My brother is Bi-Polar, and sometimes meds need to be changed or amounts adjusted. Do NOT hurt yourself. Call a crisis help line annonymously if necessary. One thing, though. Your comment: It's no wiser to keep a mental illness entirely to yourself than it is to keep a physical illness to yourself. I know what you mean, but... Bi-Polar, and other "mental illnesses" are physical illnesses. Your body isn't maintaining correct levels of chemicals and that affects how your brain processes things. That brain and body? That's about as physical as it gets, sweetie. I think you'd do well to disclose to your employer. My sister has MS. She was a teacher, as well, and she tried to avoid telling her employer about it as long as possible, too. The result of hiding it were all sorts of accusations that she was drunk on the job as it affected her balance and gait. After she disclosed it they had to make accomodation for her disabilities. They're not allowed to discriminate against you for having an illness. And, they're not allowed to tell anyone else without your permission. My best guess is that you'll find that she's sympathetic to what you're dealing with. And, if I'm right, you'll have enlisted another real-life ally to help you negotiate the complexities of juggling teaching with going to school yourself. I think you have potentially little to lose and much to potentially gain. Good luck. Keep yourself safe and keep in touch with us. We love you. Agman made me a pack.   Top

geg6 14941 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 01:24 PM (EST) 25. "RE: Update #1" For me, it would depend on the person who was my supervisor. Knowing the kind of people who work in ABE programs (I used to be in adult basic education programs, too), I can't imagine you'd encounter a more sympathetic or understanding bunch of people. I'm sure you could discuss this with them and you'll find they are there for you 100%. Besides, based on the ADA, if you don't disclose, they can't make accommodations for you. And you have every right to have accommodations made for your illness. My brother's bipolar disorder makes this all clear to me every day of my life. He's so ill, he can't work even with his meds. But you can. And you should make sure you get what you need in order to stay and be successful in the workforce. "And now the whole nation -- pulpit and all -- will take up the war-cry, and shout itself hoarse, and mob any honest man who ventures to open his mouth; and presently such mouths will cease to open. Next the statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception." Mark Twain   Top

Spanky68 8092 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 11:26 AM (EST) 11. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" First of all, don't hurt yourself, Slice. Your problems will soon be solved and you won't be feeling this way any more. So don't do anything that might bring you lasting pain. Punch a pillow. Scream into your mattress. Play a violent computer game if you need to. But don't hurt yourself or break anything. I'll be praying for you. Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.   Top

kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 11:33 AM (EST) 13. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" My sympathy (even if you aren't asking). I shouldn't be posting anything other than 'SEE YOUR DOC'. But, given the opportunity to stick my nose in where it doesn't belong, and possibly royally screw up your life, I guess I can't resist. You don't have to any type of illness for that kind of stuff to drive you up the wall. I think just about every one has had those pressures, and felt that way. Especially during the working while going to school years. I drove a taxi cab in a major Metro area while getting the BS, 12 hour shifts, 7 days a week. I remember how tight money was, being behind all the time at school, and the high anxiety that seemed to rule the days. So here is unprofessional amateur advice that you probably shouldn't read: Talk to your folks. Sounds to me like that will get the money issues cleared up. The Doc. should be getting you thru this. But talk to your boss and teachers. I would continue to not mention your illness to them because, as you say, you can deal with them and they don't need to know your personal issues. And see the Doc. Get work/school worries as straight as you can, accept whatever you can't straighten out. Maybe reduce school load? You path forward at this point will be clear and your anxiety reduced. Usually, attacking these things head on brings some degree of relief. I don't know you that well (cyber acquaintance) but I can tell you you aren't bad or dumb, you are sharp as a tack, and your heart is in a good place.   Top

smokeysmom 184 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 10-02-07, 11:54 AM (EST) 16. "more hugs!" I don't "e-know" you that well (yet!) but want to send you ((((HUGS))) too. I appreciate your sharing, and think you've gotten some good feedback from our wise group, and I hope you'll take the advice to visit your MD today -- or sooner! -- to heart. The one thing that I can add from experience is that my fears about what everyone from my parents, to my boss, to my friends would "think" about my difficulties were always, yes ALWAYS -- totally exaggerated and wrong. I've spent so many agonizing hours worrying, obsessing, dramatizing in my own head, playing out, etc. etc. etc. the ways that people would react to me -- I wish I could have all that time back. When I finally bite the bullet and talk to my loved ones about "what's going on" -- they never turn their backs on me, ridicule me, minimize my problems or treat me badly at all. On the contrary they almost always say: "Why the heck didn't you come to me sooner? I / we love you, ya' dork!" Even with professional or friend relationships it's the same. People are inherently good and you'll be pleasantly surprised at how understanding and kind they can be. And for those few bad apples that aren't -- run, run away as fast as you can -- you don't need them. Sending you hugs and purrs Smokey and Mom   Top

jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 11:55 AM (EST) 17. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" {{{hugs}}} September 2007 - Agman   Top

foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 12:20 PM (EST) 18. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" *looks up* I can't add to any of this good advice. Many peeps here love you, Slicey. Mee too. Don't ever think of hurting yourself! You call me, dammit. (look at your pm)   Top

Max Headroom 10069 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 12:29 PM (EST) 20. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" I have no advice beyond what others have offered, so I'll just send along a (((hug))). A Slicey special!   Top

Sagebrush Dan 10002 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 01:13 PM (EST) 21. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" Others above have said it well and have said it better. Here's my {{{hugs}}}. Transcribed by Sharnina More booing, less barking.   Top

Lasann 3616 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 10-02-07, 01:22 PM (EST) 23. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" The peeps above are smart! {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}} Created by Syren   Top

whimsey 4411 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 10-02-07, 01:24 PM (EST) 24. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" {{{hugs}} {{french fries with gravy - large}} Great advice from your OT family, especially the part about seeing your Dr. Most have emergency hours, and can accommodate. I strongly urge you to contact your Dr. Regarding work: you have a disability, and the law can back you up. Please know this - You.Are.Never.Alone. Sending positive life force rays your way. Sometimes life gets in the way of living. The good thing is, you always come out the other side smarter and stronger.   Top

moonbaby 17120 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 02:20 PM (EST) 26. "There will be " no hurting of self! Nope nope nope. Sounds like you're already beating yourself up. When it rains it pours-feeling overwhelmed sucks. One thing at a time, Slice. We's just human beans. *hug* He who throws mud loses ground.   Top

Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 02:46 PM (EST) 27. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" Hugs Slice. Glad you talked to your Dad! and that you have rockin' parents. And that you realize you have rockin' parents. That's a blessing in itself, that you actually Know you have that kind of support. Take care of yourself and find your happy place this week! Tummy   Top

nailbone 27263 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 02:54 PM (EST) 28. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" *big hugs* You know, you rock. You really do. Always remember that.   Top

qwertypie 9776 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 04:49 PM (EST) 29. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" I can't add anything else that hasn't already been said but ((((hugs)))).   Top

MKitty 2976 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 10-03-07, 05:32 PM (EST) 43. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" Ditto to what Qwerty said ***hugs**** *Pumpkin Kitty courtesy of Smokeysmom*   Top

EMTBGRL 2514 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson" 10-02-07, 05:18 PM (EST) 30. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" <[[[ Huuuuuuuuugs!>]]]]] There's always Ben & Jerry-- you know, the two bestest depression friends a gal can have? I recommend a healthy dose of chocolate chip cookie dough or some Cherry Garcia-- Seriously, you've gotten some great encouragement, good advice here. You can do with this what you like, but I follow this guideline personally. This guideline is: The four things that are my rule of thumb to not mention at work: My salary, my sex life, my net worth and my health/ health history. I consider those four subjects too private for casual workplace acquaintances. I do not consider my boss my "friend" regardless of where I work. He or she is my boss. That said, The "health/ health history" one is vague in regards to your circumstances. The problem is that I don't know your boss. Is this a trustworthy and sympathetic person? Or is this a gossip-monger type who cares more about popularity than anything? I have no idea. Is this a boss who has views that would be sympathetic, or someone who would make this worse by a disclosure? Again, I have no idea. This is another subject I would bring up with your Doc. "Hey doc, I've been having some problems at work, and one is-- " I've been wondering if I should tell my boss I am bipolar because it affects my performance. Do you know how that might either benefit or hurt me?" Start there. And as for hurting yourself? Nuh- uh Missy! You aren't allowed. Nope. You do NOT have permission! You told us here on OT, and we won't let you! Nope. We want to read more in Julia's crappy blog (which really isn't all that crappy, btw) What makes ME feel better is going to help someone that has BIGGER problems than I do. (And this is coming from someone that doesn't currently HAVE a permanent address!) I don't have to worry about paying rent, I guess- but, you know-- ? um. I'd like to worry about paying rent...(Do you feel any better?) --I'm OK. -- Helping other people (when I can) makes me remember that my problems are not insurmountable. That other people have worse problems than me. That everything is temporary (even me!) and if I wake up in the morning, that's all the "start" that I need. Go ahead and cry for a half an hour a day. Then go do something else. Don't wallow in misery. And, yeah, make sure you are taking your meds. Them's smart OTers out there..and hug your parents! They're in your corner! YAY! You have friends. HI FRIEND!   Top

whimsey 4411 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 10-02-07, 06:33 PM (EST) 36. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" LAST EDITED ON 10-02-07 AT 06:34 PM (EST) What EMTBGRL said. EMTBGRL is wise.   Top

J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 05:54 PM (EST) 31. "Update #2" Just wanted to extend the hugest thank-yous to all of you. It's been a rollercoaster kind of day, and thankfully, it ended on a high note. I didn't get a chance to talk to my boss in depth, but I did run into her, and she did not have hatred or fire in her eyes. I told her I would discuss the matter with her when we both had time, and she seemed positive and receptive, so while that hatchet's not entirely buried, it's at least been stuck in the dirt a little bit. The class I taught this afternoon went very well, and my observer (as a new teacher, I need to receive feedback) said I did a fantastic job, and that I'm one of the best she's seen at the program. Going from feeling like absolute rock-bottom pond scum this morning to feeling a kick to the ol' confidence like that, well, it's almost a little overwhelming, but I love my job, and what makes me even happier is knowing that I'm apparently doing it really well. If you are sure that you're right, you probably aren't.   Top

mysticwolf 10692 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 07:52 PM (EST) 38. "RE: Update #2" Now, drop that tag line. Sometimes it's correct. Often it isn't. Case in point: We all knew you'd be a kick-a$$ teacher. And, we were right. Believe in yourself. {hugs} Agman made me a pack.   Top

Sagebrush Dan 10002 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-03-07, 05:47 PM (EST) 45. "RE: Update #2" Congratulations! Well-done. I hope this infusion of confidence gets planted in you and grows healthily. I know how hard it gets in that area, so here's some positive thoughts that it gets in there. More booing, less barking.   Top

Spanky68 8092 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-04-07, 09:41 AM (EST) 46. "RE: Update #2" Glad to hear you've emerged from the funk. There are days like this. The trick is to NOT do anything dramatic that will hurt you or anyone while you're low. And the secret to being a good teacher is to constantly be checking your methods and results to see if your technique is working. If not, adjust your approach. Listen to the students with an open mind but don't be ruled by them. When you run into the occasional genius, don't be intimidated. Try to challenge them with a deeper thought. Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.   Top

Sunny_Bunny 5597 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 05:59 PM (EST) 32. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" LAST EDITED ON 10-02-07 AT 06:00 PM (EST) You have already gotten some great advice, so instead of echoing what's already been said let me just give you {{{{{{{{{Big Hugs}}}}}}}}}}} From your FRIENDS, Bunny and Ra   Top

Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 06:00 PM (EST) 33. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" I would have added something original to all the points above, but Webby just had me in the dryer and I'm feeling kind of dizzy right now. Oh, and you forgot Thing #4: the Mets.   Top

zipperhead 3442 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 10-02-07, 06:08 PM (EST) 34. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" hehehehehehehe Yeah, I was wondering about the Mets' influence on Ms. Slice's state of mind, as well.   Top

J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-02-07, 06:11 PM (EST) 35. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" To say #4 has been negatively affecting my mood would be a gross understatement. Go Rockies! Kill those rat-bastard Phils!   Top

Denalio 904 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 10-02-07, 09:08 PM (EST) 39. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" Julia, You bring such fun to these boards and now this heart-to-heart makes me *heart* you even more. I am glad things are starting to sort themselves out and not being as stressful for you. ((((Hugs))))   Top

frisky 11695 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-03-07, 01:09 AM (EST) 40. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" What everyone else said plus one more thing: You're still technically a student, right? Do you have a Student Affairs office or Dean of Student Affairs that you can talk to? Most schools up here have such a resource that acts as student advocate and can give you advice on how to approach the issue (your reservations about telling about your illness) with the higher-ups. This will also serve as documentation of your concerns (which are well-founded since there are still people out there who don't "get" mental illness), in case you do end up having problems after the disclosure. And I doubt you will have problems, Slice. In spite of the dark places your mind takes itself, there really are lots of nice, understanding people out there. The few times in my life that I've disclosed my depression, the disclosees have been very understanding. In fact, I usually find that they themselves, or a close family member, are also "walking the black dog" as Winston Churchill might say. Perpetual *headbutt* compliments of Rolly.   Top

Silvergirl1 9342 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-03-07, 03:04 AM (EST) 41. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" Oh, Slice, I do know and understand about not wanting to discuss your medical problems. I've come across this kind of situation just recently in my own life. I have severe sleep apnea, and, while my DH and DD know what I am going through, I feel like I am being judged harshly by others who don't understand. OTOH, I don't feel I should have to discuss my ills with everyone, just to explain why I can't do this or that favor for them. Anyway, please try to take care of yourself. It's hard work to keep up with your health issues, but I know you can do it. Please don't do anything you would regret. If you have to cry to feel better, than go ahead. I'm sure you have every reason to feel overwhelmed right now. It sounds like you have so much on your plate. (((Hugs))) and I hope things start looking up for you very soon. Sending good vibes. A 2007 Sharnina original   Top

berwyn 108 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 10-03-07, 05:07 PM (EST) 42. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" J Slice, I just have to tell you that I'm so impressed by you. You're dealing with some tough stuff and you do it with such maturity. It's so hard to reach out for help when you're down, let alone take the advice to heart and act on it. Your parents must be so proud. My son plans to go to college in the fall and he has Asperger's. He doesn't want anyone to know and I respect that, but I know living away from home is going to be more difficult than he realizes. And he is so determined to handle everything all by himself. As his mom what I want for him more than anything is to do what you've done - reach out when he needs help. What you've accomplished gives me such optimism that my son can make it too.   Top

RudyRules 8360 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 10-03-07, 05:45 PM (EST) 44. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" Wow Julia, Lots of great advice has been given. I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I really can't add anything that hasn't already been said, so I'll just give you a {{{HIG}}} Glad that today went better for you. Things do get better, honest! "Them people had to be pretty dumb to make their camp in a riverbed." - Rudy Boesch   Top

FishWoman 1510 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Peanut Festival Grand Marshall" 10-04-07, 09:58 AM (EST) 47. "RE: When you screw up all at the same time" Hey, Slicey, I've been away from the computer for a few days - sorry you have been feeling so overwhelmed, but happy to hear things are looking back up! {{{HUGS}}} Hair by Tribephyl   Top

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