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Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 12-15-01, 08:13 PM (EST) "Stupid Elderly Stories" Ok, so I know it isn't nice to make fun of old folks. But I am so PISSSED!!!!!! Stupid Old Lady!!!!!! *deep breath* Ok, so I am coming home from the store, and as I came around the corner onto my street, it looks like a pile of something is laying next to my driveway. I get a little closer and OMG!!!! Our F-ing mailbox is shattered into a huge pile of bricks. It is busted all to Hell. I was shocked! So I pull into the garage and do the only normal thing, I start blasting my car horn so I can ask Hubby "What the Hell happened?" Turns out some old lady is driving down the street and BASH slams right smack into our poor unsuspecting mailbox, bashing it to smithereens! Stupid b*tch, I am so pissed. Her car was totally messed up too,( mailbox revenge) hit it hard enough to knock in the front corner break the headlight and flatten her tire ( good thing too, because I bet she woulda hauled her saggy old butt out of there if her car ran) some young guy ( hubby said kid) drove by right after it happened and stopped to see if she was ok, and to knock on our front door. Good husband that my man is when I leave him home to take care of our home and child, he didn't hear a thing, he was sleeping on the sofa in front of the football game. Anyway, he called Security while the kid was changing the ladies tire. And Security gets there and says to my husband, "you don't want me to ticket her do you?" Well, YES!!! I do want her ticketed, she recklessly endangered the whole street, and Killed my Mailbox!!!! I want her to go to Old People Prison, I want her fed foods that dissagree with her digestion and be forced to listen to really loud Rap. Hubby said no, he just wanted a report, but the old bag was pissed, threw hubby a really mean dirty look when she found out he had called security. Her reason for hitting my beloved and oh so very innocent mail recepticle? She said she has an eye infection , and her eye was tearing so she was rubbing it, when she just happened to drive smack into my mailbox without ever slowing down, Hell, she never even saw the poor thing. Bricks covered the whole end of the driveway. Sour faced, stinky old lady! Anyway, the insurance company has been called, and I guess I am gonna have to get bids from a bricklayer. ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH! Oh and I have to go buy a temporary mailbox or I won't get any mail!!! Share any anger you have for old people here. I do know that most old folks are lovely and wonderful people, so don't hang me over this rant. Just remember, some of them smell like Pee.   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Stupid Elderly Stories Superman 12-15-01 1  RE: Stupid Elderly Stories northernlights 12-16-01 2  RE: Stupid Elderly Stories LadyT 12-16-01 3  RE: Stupid Elderly Stories VampKira 12-16-01 4  RE: Stupid Elderly Stories LadyT 12-17-01 5

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Superman 3157 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 12-15-01, 08:27 PM (EST) 1. "RE: Stupid Elderly Stories" I feel your pain Buggy. There used to be this old man who lived next door to my parenets house when I was young. My mother insisted that I mow this man's yard, wash his car, bring him his mail, etc., etc. Well, he never even said so much as thank you. He would scowl and complain about HOW I washed his car and HOW I mowed his yard. I was so pissed! Well, one day I guess he had a sudden stroke of compassion, because he called my house and asked me to come over. He said that he appreciated how much I'd done for him and wanted to give me something in return. (Please bear in mind that I had been doing this stuff for 2 years.) He tells me to close my eyes and hold out my hand. He puts something in my hand, I look down to see a brand new, shiny quarter. Aaaaarrrrgghhh! The things old people think they can get away with just because they're your grandparents. I do know that most old folks are lovely and wonderful people, so don't hang me over this rant. Just remember, some of them smell like Pee. Edited to LMAO at Buggy's last line.   Top

northernlights 5058 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 12-16-01, 03:23 AM (EST) 2. "RE: Stupid Elderly Stories" >I do know that most old >folks are lovely and wonderful >people, so don't hang me >over this rant. Just remember, >some of them smell like >Pee. What's 40 feet long and smells like pee? Line dancing class at the Golden Sunshine Club! (Honestly, I love seniors)   Top

LadyT 5567 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 12-16-01, 02:39 PM (EST) 3. "RE: Stupid Elderly Stories" Buggy that totally sucks. I hope they take that woman's license away. But I have a funny story about my friend Eric's grandmother. She is probably the meanest woman I know. She is loaded, her husband was killed by a Hood truck and before the funeral, she had already filed suit against them and was awarded millions. Eric was adopted and she considers him illegitmate, so you know she isn't nice. One day she pulls out of her driveway, doesn't look and hits a car full of kids going to school. She drives off. They call the cops. Eric is a cop in our town and he hears the call. Within minutes, the cops pull his grandmother over. They find her with her glasses in the back seat and her airbag had been deployed. SHe drove three miles like that. I have no idea how she drove like that, but she did. Needless to say, she doesn't have her license anymore.   Top

VampKira 4433 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 12-16-01, 07:04 PM (EST) 4. "RE: Stupid Elderly Stories" >>I want her to go to Old People Prison, I want her fed foods that dissagree with her digestion<< ROFL!!!! I pop in here to see what I have missed the past day or so, and this is the first thing I see!! Oh Buggles! That really bites the big one! I remember when my grandfater used to drive.. (he's 99 now) and he was around 79 then. He drove so slow, and scared the crap outta me because I kid you not, EVERY time we would cross the 8th street bridge in his car in the winter.. we would do cookies.. Not one or two, but like 4 or 5! This bridge was always icy, but others seemed to do okay on it. I really have NO idea why he couldn't get across that damn thing without losing control. We did'nt have a car, so he drove us everywhere. To this day, when I have to cross that bridge in the winter, my heart pounds.. I just hope it's not some kind of freak family curse or something!! And now... TOTALLY off the subject... I have miseed you all, ya misfits, ya! *smiles* I don't know how much I will be posting between now and Christmas, but I just want you all to know I loves ya all, and wish for you the best holiday ever! And yes.. I know I owe some of you e mails, but it's REALLy ben hectic here but I promise, I'll be in touch soon! Ha, ha, ha, Buuuuug! I used your thresd to.. um.... hmm.. what was the new word we decided to use? You know, after we dropped the old one? left turn? *shrug* VampKira- who is totally sober and on Dr. Pepper tonight! GO STEELERS!!!!! *wink*   Top

LadyT 5567 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 12-17-01, 00:30 AM (EST) 5. "RE: Stupid Elderly Stories" I have another one, about my Grandmother. This isn't stupid, just funny. It was Thanksgiving, and she came to our house. She was in a nursing home by then, and very sick. She comes to the house, gets out of the car, and says to my Mom, "Kathy, my pants are falling down." My Mom says, "We will be in the house in a minute," "Kathy, my pants are falling down" Now my Gram did not walk fast at all. Took her five minutes to go ten feet. Whole time saying, "Kathy my pants are falling down." She reaches the steps, my MOm looks down, and Gram's pants and undies had fallen down. Gram stepped out of them, flashed the neighborhood and went into the house. Oh hell, I will tell another one, this time about my friend's Nana. My friend's family was away for the summer, and Nana came to check on the house. When she walked in, the house was a disaster. Silver strewn all over the place, curtains slashed, TV gone, couch cushions all over the room. She goes upstairs, all the drawers are overturned, clothes all ove rthe rooms and hallways. Nana goes downstairs and calls the family. This is the conversation "I can't believe this house its a mess" "Nana, what are you talking about?" "Silver all over the place, clothes everywhere, looks like a tornado hit it." "Nana, get out of the house and go next door" "Not until I clean this house" "Nana, get to the neighbors and call the police" "No" "YES!" nana finally does and calls the police. Police discover the burglar in the closet with a gun.   Top

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