LAST EDITED ON 07-16-07 AT 09:28 AM (EST)Hey, America (and everyone else, hint hint), we get to start voting this week! And we certainly have an ... interesting Top 20 to pick from.
Boy Shakira, female impersonator (Luiyi Padilla). Okay, maybe calling it an impersonation is going too far, but you got to admit he's got a nice smile.
Butterscotch, beatboxer (Antoinette Clinton). I don't know if she can win the million but I bet she'd be fabulous in the next Police Academy movie.
The Calypso Tumblers, acrobats (Raymond "Alex" Bartlette, Sylvan "O" Bartlette, Clarence "Kid" Chester, Lamonte "Tailz" Goode, Kenneth "Yogi Laser" Greenaway, Michael "Mosquito" Rodriguez). Calm down, ladies, they aren't just eyecandy.
The Duttons, family band (Amy Dutton Arambulo, Benjamin C. Dutton, Dean Dutton, Jonathan Dutton, Joshua Dutton, Judith Dutton, Sheila Dutton, Timothy Dutton, Abigail Dutton Wright). You know, used to be there was one of these every Saturday night in at least one barn per county all across America.
Terry Fator, ventriloquist. Proving yet again that singing is easy, comedy is hard.
The Fault Line, a capella rock group (Justin Adams, Jeff Bratz, Adam Decker, Joshua Logan, Matt Olmstead). Good act, lousy name.
The Glamazons, burlesque singers (Mary "Lady Finger" Finger, Laura "Caramella" Johnson, Sandy "Candy Apple" May, Sarah "Ginger Snap" Orr). I have nothing against burlesque, certainly, but I'd like to see these ladies broaden their scope.
Cas Haley, singer. Raise your hand if you were surprised he translated Sharon's "dress up" suggestion as "wear your good jeans."
Robert Hatcher, singer. I don't know what kind of accoustics they have in the Cincinnati sewers but I'm pretty certain there's not much sweetness down there, I bet his work buddies are miss him badly.
Julienne Irwin, singer. You just know this sweetheart is going to have her own show on Nickelodeon next year.
Kevin James, magician. It's really a shame they limited it to only one magic act when they wouldn't do the same for the singers, I thought there were three magic acts that were Top 20 worthy.
Jonny Come Lately, rock band (Adrian Johnson, Julian Johnson, Ismael Loya, Angela Ross). Kids these days, stickin' to '50s rockabilly standards, I guess they'd be good at a hop.
Mohammad Kashif, Bollywood dancer. It's the yoga that makes it art.
Johnny Lonestar, cowboy performer. You see, the difference between a lasso and a baton, a lasso is bendy.
Popovich Comedy Pet Theater, animal act (Anastasia and Gregory Popovich). Admit it, when you heard Sharon would be judging you knew there would be dogs.
Jason Pritchette, singer. Look, if this guy can leave and still make the Top 20, what happened to the saxaphone player who closed out the first audition show?
Manuel Romero, singer. Why he isn't on American Idol I just don't know.
Second Story Guys, stilts act (James Balcer, Christian DeLeon, Dustin Ehrlich, Keith Hinson). I really wanted to see last year's stilt act again but these guys are paradeworthy as well.
Sideswipe, martial arts acrobats (Chris Brewster, Craig Henningsen, Matt Mullins, Jackson Spidell). There really ought to be some sort of professional sporting organization for guys like these, maybe something with a ring and referee and judges and ladies in bikinis holding up cardboard thingies with numbers on them.
Southern Girl, singing group (Angela D. Jones, Misti L. Moore, Nicoya L. Polar). You know, I really would like to see fewer singers/musical acts, but there's no denying harmony and a good beat.
So, if it was up to you, which of these acts would be the Top 5?
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