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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 06-26-06, 03:03 AM (EST) "Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" There seems to be some confusion about whether or not we have already had the talent show. We have not. So - everybody meet at Pink's tonight at 6pm and the show will start at 7pm whether you're ready or not. And yes, Richard, you do have to put on some new shorts before the Twister demonstration. Huh?... oh... uh... no thank you, Jodi. I don't really care for ... uh ... Snowballs. Rhonda, I had no idea you wore a tutu so well. *grins* Last week was awesome! Some old roles were revived and new players joined the game. In the immortal words of Cyg - Best Week EVAH!!! ADMINISTRIVIA: You need not just follow my lead here. You can take this in any show-related direction you wish. Remember to use your sigs, or at least sign off as your characters. If you want to join in as a RECURRING character, please sign up in the signup thread before posting. That's whereyou'll findyour sigs also (although, if you're replacing someone, it may be in the old signup thread). Remember, if you're unable to post as your character for a time, just send me a note to that effect. Otherwise, I can only assume you're uninterested, which isn't fair to someone who might want to play. Currently claimed roles are: Jon Murray, Dr. Stan, Iyanla, Rhonda, Andy (and her mom), Antonia, Jodi, Kelly and her bathroom, Niambi, Jill, Christie, Poetri, Dr. VantToLookJung, Lanre, the Front Door, the Dining Room Table, Bead Store Owner, "Mr. Situation," Towanda, Kim, Lisa2, Maureen, Cassie, TJ, Lisa1, De-BOR-ah, Richard Simmons. Available Roles: Sommer, Jessica, Christina and the Garden Buddha. Here is the link to the new thread containing some of the old sigs. Old Sigs New characters, or resurrected old ones, welcome! Do NOT post as a character that's been claimed. Thanks. You can post as ad hoc, one-time characters WITHOUT signing up. If you intend to reuse your character, please do sign up . . . thanks! And HAVE FUN! Non-players: THIS IS NOT A DISCUSSION THREAD. Discussion-type posts may be removed. BUT . . . You may address or ask questions of the role-players as their characters.   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... alaholly 06-26-06 1    The New Hugging Booth alaholly 06-26-06 2        RE: The New Hugging Booth catmama 06-26-06 3            New Costumes, he-yah! alaholly 06-26-06 4            xxxtina's arts n' crafts booth catmama 06-26-06 5                RE: xxxtina's arts n' crafts booth catmama 06-26-06 10                    RE: xxxtina's arts n' crafts booth catmama 06-27-06 20  RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... BlowingOver 06-26-06 6    RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Sahara 06-26-06 7        RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... kircon 06-26-06 8            RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Sahara 06-26-06 9            RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... catmama 06-26-06 11                RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... BlowingOver 06-26-06 12        RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Anne18 06-27-06 18    RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... alaholly 06-27-06 14  RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... BlowingOver 06-26-06 13    RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... alaholly 06-27-06 15        RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... JavaT 06-27-06 16            RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... alaholly 06-27-06 17                RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... catmama 06-27-06 19                    He's all yours Jodi, you make a cut... alaholly 06-27-06 21                    RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... JavaT 06-27-06 23                        RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... catmama 06-27-06 25                            RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... JavaT 06-27-06 29                                Jodi and Danny, sittin' in a tree..... catmama 06-27-06 30  THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE! BlowingOver 06-27-06 22    RE: THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE! JavaT 06-27-06 24        RE: THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE! alaholly 06-27-06 27    RE: THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE! JavaT 06-27-06 26        RE: THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE! alaholly 06-27-06 28            RE: THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE! mbinkc 06-27-06 31                RE: THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE! BlowingOver 06-27-06 32                Ohhhhhhhh Poetri.... alaholly 06-28-06 40  Allison Performths Her Number BlowingOver 06-27-06 33    Lisa Embarrasses Herself Per... alaholly 06-28-06 34        Next! Keep those acts comin'... alaholly 06-28-06 35            Maureen, the Drive-by Comic kircon 06-28-06 36                Sommer and Christina's dance catmama 06-28-06 37                    RE: Sommer and Christina's dance Sahara 06-28-06 46                RE: Maureen, the Drive-by Comic Sahara 06-28-06 45        RE: Lisa Embarrasses Herself Sahara 06-28-06 44    RE: Allison Performths Her Number Sahara 06-28-06 43  In Which Doctor Stan Picks Arranges... BlowingOver 06-28-06 38    Next!!! alaholly 06-28-06 39        RE: Next!!! Sahara 06-28-06 41            RE: Next!!! Sahara 06-28-06 42                RE: Next!!! alaholly 06-28-06 49        RE: Next!!! sharnina 06-28-06 48            Oooooooh, Lanre! alaholly 06-28-06 50            RE: Next!!! kircon 06-29-06 56        RE: Next!!! Anne18 06-28-06 52    RE: In Which Doctor Stan Picks Arra... Sahara 06-28-06 47        Grab De-BOR-ah! catmama 06-28-06 51            RE: Grab De-BOR-ah! JavaT 06-29-06 62                Hey Danny, sweetie... alaholly 06-29-06 63        RE: In Which Doctor Stan Picks Arra... mbinkc 06-28-06 53            Save Docktuh Stan! alaholly 06-29-06 54                RE: Save Docktuh Stan! BlowingOver 06-29-06 55                    RE: Save Docktuh Stan! alaholly 06-29-06 57                        Um, what about me? catmama 06-29-06 58                            RE: Um, what about me? alaholly 06-29-06 64                                Hey Antonia! kircon 06-30-06 66                                    Cleaning is a talent! kircon 06-30-06 67                                        RE: Cleaning is a talent! Sahara 06-30-06 70                        RE: Save Docktuh Stan! Anne18 06-29-06 59                            RE: Donny and Marie Song Anne18 06-29-06 60                                RE: Donny and Marie Song Sahara 06-29-06 61                        RE: Save Docktuh Stan! JavaT 06-30-06 68            RE: In Which Doctor Stan Picks Arra... 26mitogo 06-30-06 65                All right, everybody! Sahara 06-30-06 69                    Whatever you say, Rhonda..... catmama 06-30-06 71                        Oh boy it's a weddin'! alaholly 06-30-06 72                            RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'! mbinkc 06-30-06 73                                RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'! BlowingOver 06-30-06 75                                    RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'! BlowingOver 06-30-06 77                            RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'! catmama 06-30-06 74                                RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'! alaholly 06-30-06 76                                    RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'! mbinkc 06-30-06 78                                        RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'! BlowingOver 07-01-06 79                                            RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'! JavaT 07-01-06 80                                                RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'! alaholly 07-01-06 82                                                RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'! BlowingOver 07-04-06 85                                RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'! JavaT 07-01-06 81  Well, did I win? Sahara 07-04-06 83    RE: Well, did I win? BlowingOver 07-04-06 84        RE: Well, did I win? Sahara 07-04-06 86            RE: Well, did I win? JavaT 07-04-06 87                Oh, Andy.... catmama 07-05-06 88                    RE: Oh, Andy.... JavaT 07-05-06 90                RE: Well, did I win? alaholly 07-05-06 89                    RE: Well, did I win? JavaT 07-05-06 91                        RE: Well, did I win? catmama 07-05-06 92

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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-26-06, 10:50 AM (EST) 1. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" <Antonia is in the dressing room at Pink's getting "organized" for the big show tonight> "Hmmmm. I think I'll just check out a cupla these bags he-yah. Maybe I could, uh, borrow, a credaht cahd from somebody to pay for all that missin' food. If we don't settle up our bill soon that Pink's managah guy will throw us out on our a$$es before the show." <Searching through all the stored bags and purses> "This ratty bag has nothin' in it but cigs (cough)...no cash...must be Maureen's. $1.98 in coin heyah, must be all of Christie's cash. Nothin' but glitter and tiaras in he-yah...must be Richahd's. I'm not touchin' that one covahed with whipped cream. Hmmmm. Nothin' in Jill's but cupcakes..no just cupcake wrappahs. A few flasks in this one, a bottle in that one, nothin' but condoms in heyah. Sh!t, where's the cahds? Don't any of these people have any money??? Ahhh. Heyahs Mama I's giant hadbag. Look, a credaht cahd with her face on it. Let me try that one..." I'm just broke, THESE people are crazy!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-26-06, 10:58 AM (EST) 2. "The New Hugging Booth" <Lisa has tied up Jodi and hidden her under the counter at the hugging booth. She has loaded herself up with whipped cream and applied heavy red lipstick. She leans over the counter in her most seductive attempt at sexy> "Oh boyyyyyyyyyysssss...." Damn, I'm cute!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 06-26-06, 02:11 PM (EST) 3. "RE: The New Hugging Booth" LAST EDITED ON 06-26-06 AT 09:52 PM (EST) LAST EDITED ON 06-26-06 AT 02:12 PM (EST) *Jodi is chewing her way through the ropes that Lisatwit has tied her up with. She succeeds, and gets up, covered in a messy mix of dirt, reddy-whip, pink coconut flakes, and crumbs, and storms off toward Lisa's New Huggy Booth. Look here, you twiggy scarecrow! Why don't you run along back to mommy and daddy's house, go paint something, and tell Mr. Internet all about it? These men customers don't want some desperate, pathetic 40-year old thinking she's 20, covered in sweet, sticky goodness, hugging on them! They want me! And to think, I thought about teaming up with you! It could have been "Jodi and Lisa1's Huggy Booth!" But no, you had to hog-tie me, and leave me back in your cage special place Rhonda made for you. Nobody wants a twig hugging them- they'd rather have a sexy, curvaceous, womanly woman- why are you snickering, you phlegmy twit? Don't you know, real women have curves? You're as flat as my back! Why are you laughing? My back is flat! Just like my abs! I've got a six-pack Heidi Klum would kill for! Stop laughing, you 6'2" child! Gee, Rhonda should have gone on with her plan of attatching you to a 10-foot pole, and selling you to a local farmer....what? I didn't say anything. Now, go away, before you get the same thing Andy got! Where's Richard at? I thought he was going to help me make my bikini!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-26-06, 02:51 PM (EST) 4. "New Costumes, he-yah!" <Antonia is having a costume meeting before the big performance. Everyone has gathered to try on their costumes for their final fittings> "Hey look everybody. I got costumes of all kinds. I kinda went a little nuts at the costume shop buyin' all sorts of outfits and costumes and props. Check it all out girls...yes you too Richahd." <Mumbles to self: "I sure scored a lot with that 'Big Mama I' cahd...hehe."> "Yeah. Use whatevah you want...we got plenty of sh!t. I got gowns and sparklies and boas and hats and tutus and even a cardboard box for Maureen. No Christie, the Miss Stahtin' Ovah Bannah is for Rhonda, not for you. But I made shu-ah to get LOTS of tiaras for all the crazed divas stahs." "I also found this sweet little blankie at the Thrift Sto-ah...kinda reminded me of Docktah Stan's. Sure hope he'll be back soon..." <Removes Jodi's arms from around her neck> No Jodi, I don't need a personal fittin'. I'm just the announcah heyah. I got my gold jacket. Why dontcha go ask Christie." "Yes Jill the Big Bolt Fabric order arrived. And I think there will be enough to decorate the scootah." "NO LISA! That is NOT what that prop is for. Damn, girl." "Okay ladies...yes, you too Richahd. Let's finish up these costumes. We got a show to do!" What else can I buy...cha-ching! I learned so much from Stahtin' Ovah...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 06-26-06, 02:54 PM (EST) 5. "xxxtina's arts n' crafts booth" Gaw, why can' we all jus' gittalong? We all need to be women of honor, jus' like mama Iyanla said! *rats hair, braids a few sections* I mean, it's like, a house of cards cannot stan' if it's made of cards, an' stuff....or is it a card divided cannot fall? I really don't 'member, but I do know that once I'm done here, I'm gonna sell houses. Ennyway...My booth is going to make all your booths look bad. I have a few leftover projects from my time in the SO house, and a coupla hats I knitted, and a scarf... and a beaded purse that I couldn't get rid of on e-bay made. So, put away the dessert stuff, and prepare to bedazzle, I mean be dazzled! (an' thanks, Kelly, for teaching me to use that thing! I mean, gee, it sure was confusin'!) An' when I become a real estate agent of honor, I'm gonna like, sell the first house to ever be bedazzled! I'm gonna make millions!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 06-26-06, 09:47 PM (EST) 10. "RE: xxxtina's arts n' crafts booth" Oh, Christina, honey baby sweetie boo boo.... leave that art's and craft's stand to someone else....like Jill or TJ or Maureen (and hey, she could live in it after the show!). I got this pole out of the bathroom today, and I think you and I could put on a show of our own! Whaddya say? You know, for old times' sake for charity. All the proceeds will go to a good cause, the Sommer of SO Fame e-bay fund our own, um, starting overs? And I'll split the money evenly with you, a nice 20/80 (and I get the 80%, since I grabbed borrowed this here pole). So let's do this, and honor all the men, I mean charitable souls around, and dance, dance, dance! Charity begins in the home...and my home is lookin' a little bare.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 06-27-06, 02:21 PM (EST) 20. "RE: xxxtina's arts n' crafts booth" Um, Sommer, I'm, like a woman of honor now! I can't be seen swingin' from some ol' grimy pole! Not in public, ennyways! My dad would disown me again! And I can' afford bear that right now- I have a car note due a lot of catchin' up to do with him! I can'! I won'! I ain' gunna! Now, I might consider a charity carwash, y'know, like the ones tha' high school kids put on in fron' of Wal-Mar'? That might be the more honorable thing to do! Hmm...good thing I packeded this hurr thong bee-keeni and lucite-heeleded stilettos! They do scream "carwash," don' they?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-26-06, 04:39 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" "Was'up?"   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 06-26-06, 04:46 PM (EST) 7. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" Hmmm, I find it very interesting that Rhonda, Dr. Stan, and Iyanla have all ended up in the "hospital" in the past month. The sanest part of the SO House is now what, the bathroom? No, it briefly ran away also. Maybe the dining room table...is it available to be a Life Coach? AF 2006   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 06-26-06, 05:41 PM (EST) 8. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" Thanks for noticing my mature wisdom. I have been part of most counciling sessions. And the artsie-fartsie crafts. Well, you all have seen the junk they put out. This is Hollywood and I can become a huge star. My show will be called DR. Table Rules. Are you offering to be my agent, Sahara? I think we could go far. No one else has noticed my great wisdom. Give me a call. DR. Table   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 06-26-06, 07:45 PM (EST) 9. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" Well, I am never one to turn down a productive business venture. My table will call your table. AF 2006   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 06-26-06, 10:09 PM (EST) 11. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" WHAT!?!?!?! Dining room table! How could you? And after I convinced Kelly to bring you along to Rancho Cuckoo-cuckoo, too. Ah well, I guess it was bound to happen; and you do give great insight, advice, and chicken recipes. You could give that ol' Martha Stewart a run for her money! I mean, who would know a kitchen better than you? So, I wish you well in your journey to stardom. And who knows, you could be the biggest thing since the Grand Canyon! That being said, I kind of resent being compared to the other crackpots in this house. Me? Not right en el cabeza? Surely you jest. So, I'm a talking bathroom who has a close relationship to the person who cleans me best and took me home w/ her briefly; I bet it happens more than you think!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-26-06, 10:23 PM (EST) 12. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" Don't ask me to help. Three years of cushion farts --- I'm through with this show.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 06-27-06, 11:01 AM (EST) 18. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" Uhhh, hello, Mirrar (mirror lol), I am the ONLY normal HG in the SO House! The ONLY normal HG in the SO house!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-27-06, 00:42 AM (EST) 14. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" "Uh...Dock-tuh Stan? YOU'RE BACK! Wait...is that YOU??? Uh, I'm really glad to see you he-yah but WTF are you wearing? Those are some FINE lookin' shades you got on but did Richahd help you with that *er* outfit? (Bleepin' bleep) man! I haven't seen colors like that since the circus was in town." <Mumbles to self..."Where the (bleep) are Rhonda and Iyanla? Stan has really gone off the deep end!> You da man Stan. Not sure what kind of man though...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-26-06, 11:55 PM (EST) 13. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" ATTENTION: ALL PERFORMERS! Please be advised that I REFUSE to be held responsible for stress, depression, mental illness, mutilation, theft, death, hurricanes, floods, drought, famine, plague, pestilence or Rhonda personal appearances which may occur as a result of this Talent Show.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-27-06, 00:48 AM (EST) 15. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" "Yeah, great, you old Universe. Now how about something really important...how about getting me a MAN?" And make it fast!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-27-06, 06:39 AM (EST) 16. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" Hey chickie, I'll be your man!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-27-06, 10:21 AM (EST) 17. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" <Giggles, bats eyes, giggles...> Well he's a man isn't he?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 06-27-06, 02:07 PM (EST) 19. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" Hey! I saw him first, Lisatwit! It's just not fair! After all I've gone through in this house- having to know how much I weigh, making a mask of myself, that time I loaded the dishwasher, the day Kelly called me "fatty fatty two-by-four"...... and now, here you are, trying to steal the love of my life! I was never really into Richard- sure, his spangles and sequins are flashy, and he has great taste in music, but he's just not for me. And I know this b/c I shouted to the Universe and asked Buddha. They both said "ask again later," so that obviously means I need to be with him, in order to make a fair comparison! Hello, logic? ::bumps Lisa1 out of her way with behind:: Oh, Dannneee boyeee..... I think I love you...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-27-06, 02:59 PM (EST) 21. "He's all yours Jodi, you make a cute couple" "Yeah okay, whatever..." <Briefly pauses, applies more bright red lipstick> "Ohhhhhhh Lanre...where arrrrrrrrrre you?????" <Giggles, bats eyes, giggles> <Wiping drool off chin...>   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-27-06, 05:28 PM (EST) 23. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" LAST EDITED ON 06-27-06 AT 05:32 PM (EST) Woohoo, Jodi honey, now you're talkin'! I just love ReddiWhip! And Snowballs? Mmmm-mmmm! We can make some serious music, baaaaabeee, and I'm not talking about the Partridge Family kind, either! Lisa, you just don't cut it for me. You're not my type. You're all bone, honey, and I can't hack that. I love a gal with a little meat on her bones, like Jodi. Well, yeah, you're right; Jodi's got about a whole butcher shop on her bones, but that's OK. Jodi, how's about you and I have our own booth at the Talent Show? Maybe we can do something like Christie's Body Paint exercise, only we can paint on each other. Of course, that means I'll need to get a big fat purchase order for Sherwin-Williams so I can make sure I have enough paint for your big butt voluptuous curves, but that's OK. Jon-Boy's a personal friend of mine. And if he doesn't OK it, I'll get Anotnia to forge me a credit card. Or if that doesn't pan out, how's about we do another mask project, only this time we'll make it of my... uh, I'll tell you in private, whaddya say? But I'll give you a hint. If we make this new mask, I'll never need Viagra. HA! Love, I woke up in LOVE this morning...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 06-27-06, 06:00 PM (EST) 25. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" What do you think about a Starting Over Wedding? Just think- you, and me, and all our close, personal starting over friends, and all the former viewrers that happen to live in this area. I would ask Andy to find or make me a dress, but I'm not in to Polka dots and stringbeans, or whatever it is. We can honeymoon at the Las Cruces motel 6 (I just love New Mexico!), and stock up on some Navajo roadside jewelry. Mama Iyanla can perform the ceremonies- she is a priestess, after all! And Rhonda and Dr. Stan can be the witnesses, Jill could be my maid of honor (sorry, Christina, you weigh 90lbs soaking wet- just not honorable enough!), and the rest of the girls can fight over discuss who wants to be brides maids, ushers, candle lighters (ok, Christina, you CAN be my flower girl!). Oh, and Danny, my love, I have a bag of plaster leftover from making Alex; I'm sure we'll put it to good use! Oh, and do ya think it, too, will be unbreakable? (do you people seriously think I haven't been planning this since age 5?!?!?) Join us in the union of Jodi of SO House fame and Danny Bonaduce, as they are joined in unholy DAWtrimony....   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-27-06, 07:03 PM (EST) 29. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 21" I might as well tell the world, my huge oversized pumpkin little lotus blossom, Gretchen and I are QWITZ! No more! Finis! Ovah! So, my dearest Jodi, oh fattest of fat fairest of fair, let's go for it! You've got a great plan going, gal! I knew you'd come up with only the best wedding plans of the century. The Las Cruces Motel 6 is great, but let's not discount the merits of the Super 8 in San Diego. We wouldn't have to drive too far, then. But if you really want to do it up big (like my mask, heh heh), we could motor out to Graceland and stay at the Memphis Travelodge. I'll leave it up to you. But hey, I'm jumping the gun here! We gotta get these wedding plans firmed up first (like my mask, heh heh)! Sounds like you've got most of the suckers wedding party chosen, but I think I'd like to have my bud Cory Feldman as best man, and maybe Gary Coleman can be ring bearer? I've been doodling on my stolen prescription pad little note pad, and I came up with this: Isn't that the coolest thing you've ever seen? I can't wait! One last thing: Tell that Andy character she's just plain not good enough to make a tent big enough for you make your wedding gown. I've seen that chick, and she's just plain scary, she's so tall. All my *hic* *belch* love, P.S. Honey, when it comes to you, everything's unbreakable!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 06-27-06, 07:34 PM (EST) 30. "Jodi and Danny, sittin' in a tree..." Oh, Danny Bonaduce! You've made my wildest dream come true! Quick, go grab David so he can sing at the reception! I think Lisa left Jill's scooter right in the middle of the freeway, and it's blocking traffic. And our names look so good together! That Gretchen (hmm, more like Wretchin'!) has nothing on me. But, I will dye my hair red, if you really want me to. If you want to honeymoon in the San Diego Super 8, that's alright with me. As long as they have a feeding trough swimming pool, and plenty of tourist attractions- like that potato that looks like Elvis, the Virgin of Guadalajara's likeness in tater tots, and a Weinerschnitzel. Our reception can be at Carl's Jr., under a blanket of twinkling stars surrounded by lots of smiling, yellow stars. Since we're stars. You and me. Just the two of us. Building castles in the sky. Just the two of us. You and I. Ok, I have a few phone calls to make. Where's Jill? As my maid of honor/sister, she should be here, helping me with the planning! So, if something should go wrong, it won't be my fault. Where's the phone...get out of there, Kelly! Go clean your bathroom! I heard Kim in there after a late night last night- you might need to go take a look. Jill! Jill! I've got to call my family, and then make a trip to David's Bridal....I just hope my father will be proud of me for bagging a real good one! Don't forget to stop David! JILL! Papa...can you hear me?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-27-06, 04:56 PM (EST) 22. "THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE!" THITHTERTH! Before we begin the talent show . . . let'th light a candle and share a few momenth of loving thupport . . . ::lights a Christie candle:: I acknowledge all of you in and around the whole-osity of your fullnessing and the validity of your completingithm. Thank you all for sharing in loving lovely lovlineth and the authentic truth of thtanding in my own holy light . . . ::Christie candle catches fire:: ::HOT DOG STAND BURSTS INTO FLAME::   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-27-06, 05:58 PM (EST) 24. "RE: THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE!" Oh, for crying out loud, you big thiththee, it's not a fire, it's only Kim's ashtray! Find something genuine to scream about, whydontcha.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-27-06, 06:41 PM (EST) 27. "RE: THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE!" "WHAT?!? A FIRE? Move it b!tches, outta my way! Women and children first and I'm both!" <Shoves old people and children out of the way as she jumps on Jill's scooter and takes off. Runs over a few patrons zooming away from the scene. Screams over her shoulder as she plows through the crowd> "MOMMY! DADDY!! I'm in trouble! Send a limo!!" Whew...that was close.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-27-06, 06:35 PM (EST) 26. "RE: THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE!" *camera zooms slowly in on a middle-aged has-been driving a beat-up Mini Cooper with a Mondrian-style paint job down N. LaBrea Blvd., singing his fool head off and talking to himself* I'm sleeping, I'm right in the middle of a... oops, never mind... hey, what's that over there? About a dozen hot chicks running around Pinks?! Wait -- make that one hot chick... no, wait, let me put on my glasses... oh, right, I see now, it's actually a bunch of fat, ugly chicks and a good-looking Buddha statue! Yeah! Love that pot bellly! But what's Richard Simmons doing in the mix? And that guy with the funky-lookin' eyes and the strait jacket? I better get over there and see if I can help. Hmmm... on second thought, I see flames. That could mean one of two things: Pinks is going up in smoke, or Danny and Gretchen are at it again. Either way, I think I'll just go home and watch a little ME on TVLand. *does big U-turn in middle of street and heads in opposite direction* Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, I think I love me! I think I love me!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-27-06, 06:52 PM (EST) 28. "RE: THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE!" "OH...It's only Kim's ashtray? OH." <Turns scooter around> "Well I was just going for help to help others because I have learned so much about helping others on Starting Over. Yes. I really am very helpful about helping. Everyone knows how well I cooperate and help others. Uh huh. And you b!tches better not disagree with me." <Parks scooter> "Now where is Lanre. He owes me a private training session and I intend to collect." Daddy? Cancel the limo.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

mbinkc 32 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 06-27-06, 08:14 PM (EST) 31. "RE: THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE!" *walks slowly out of Pinks with several packages of hot dogs and condiment samples hidden in shirt* Whoa! That be close, huh? I done thunk dat we's was all gonna be aflamed! You all be missin Poetri? Yeah, I knowed you have. An I be missin all you skanky lovely ladies like you been missin me. Mr. Juan Bunnerham-Motley done tol me dat I hafta stay bout 20 miles away from all of yous cuz he be catchin me peepin in da windows one night. I wuz jus checkin up on y'all, yeah, dats it. Makin shore you was bein protected an all. Dat front do ain't got no lock on it, so, you know, I wuz jus, like, worried. Yeah...worried is what I wuz. When da poleece took me away, I axed em an axed em to fogive me, but dey wasn't hearin me. So I started shoutin out my poetry, ya know, like I teached da doormat Leesa, and you know what dey did? Dey stuffed dees dang roses, yeah, I said roses, in my mouf! And dis tiny little Speedo thang. It be nasty I tell ya. So, dat's why yous not be seein me much. But I's only gotta pick up da trash along da highway fo 189 mo days, an den dey hafta leave me alone. Don't be feelin all sorry fo me, cuz I be Poetri!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-27-06, 11:28 PM (EST) 32. "RE: THAVE ME! IT'TH A FIRE!" Thorry. Thilly me. I didn't know the whole hot dog thtand wath Kim'th ashtray.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-28-06, 05:34 PM (EST) 40. "Ohhhhhhhh Poetri...." <Giggles, bats eyes, giggles> Hey I can do Poetri poetry...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-27-06, 11:37 PM (EST) 33. "Allison Performths Her Number" ::waddles out in mini-tutu and giant feathered swan hat:: ::cues symphony:: ::cues David Cassidy:: ::spins around stage, takes running leap into David's arms::   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-28-06, 00:31 AM (EST) 34. "Lisa Embarrasses Herself Performs Her Number" <Lisa waits for the three people clapping for Allison to stop then skips out on stage wearing her cutesy baby dress and baby bonnet. Begins singing in a nauseating baby voice...> "On the gooo-ood ship lollipop, it's a sweee-eet trip to the candy shop..." <Hears housemate snicker. Stops singing, puts hands on hips and frowns> "Shut up b!tch!....where the bon bons play, on the sunny shores of peppermint bay..." Where did everybody go???   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-28-06, 10:08 AM (EST) 35. "Next! Keep those acts comin'..." <Antonia is clapping wildly...looks around and realizes she is the only one applauding> "Well those first two numbahs were awful awesome!! I'm shuah the next acts will be just as excruciating exciting! Be shuah to put your donations in one of the 27 conveniently located collection jahs." <Begins clapping again...> "C'mon, let's hear it for the ladies! Yes, and you too, Richahd and Stanley." Hang in they-ah folks, it's almost ovah!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 06-28-06, 12:27 PM (EST) 36. "Maureen, the Drive-by Comic" *walks onstage, forgetting she's still wearing her pink tutu* *lowers the mike* *clears throat* How’s every one doing out there? Are you enjoying your dogs? The Ladies of the Starting Over house would like to thank Pinks for the use of their stage tonight. Pinks also wants you to know unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy. If you like what you hear, you can catch my act next Friday night, in the Rainbow Room, at the Rent-a-Room Motel. The one by the airport. Hey! Speaking of walking into a bar, Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here." Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?" A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Hey! Speaking of men, all I'm looking for is a guy who will do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed. *looks at watch* Well that's my time. Catch you later. *walks off stage*   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 06-28-06, 02:02 PM (EST) 37. "Sommer and Christina's dance" ::Sommer decided against a charity carwash, since she, much like Antonia, is a grown-a$$ business woman. So, she does the only thing she knows to how, and that's get Christina good and drunk, and convince her to participate in the pole dance. She drunkenly agrees, and now Kim is all out of booze:: C- Sommer, when we gonn' <hic> go danc<hic>ce? S- When Maureen gets off the stage. Are you ready? Makeup done, hair sprayed, pasties in place? C- Yesh <hic>, I'm ready. ::sees leftover can of reddy whip:: Ooh <hic> yummy! I <hic> love thish shtuff! ::starts spraying directly into mouth:: S- Stop that! It'll make you fat! And fatties can't dance; just ask Christie! Ok, ok, time to go onstge! C- Ok, Sommer, whatever <hic> you say <burrrrp>. I hash a rumbly in mah tumbleee....hee hee <hic-belch> S- Whatever, come on! I'll go first, ok? C- Ok. Announcer- Please welcome the two finest of the fine, foxiest of the foxy, Sommer and Chris-tina! Here to do an exotic dance for you all! Take it away, ladies! ::Sommer starts swinging from the pole. She is wearing a pair of Richard's shorts, so it's a bit difficult for her to do, due to their satiny nature. She falls off the pole after a few poorly executed swings, and gives up:: S- Ok, hussy, your turn. ::walks away mumbling to self:: C- Ok. I'm readeeee! ::begins to swing like in the old days, but the alcohol and the reddy whip are churning, and she is getting a little nauseous:: Sommer, I don' feel so- ::hurls onto the three people who have shown up; Sommer comes over to smack her, but slips in a puddle:: Where's Iyanla? I think I need to go lay down now! Iyanla! Come help me! Oh, why didn't <hic> I just stick with my craft's booth? As God as my witness <hic> I'll never pole dance again! Well, good thing I got it all on tape; I wonder how much XXXtina will give me for it, so that it won't wind up in the hands of, say, her dad?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 06-28-06, 07:54 PM (EST) 46. "RE: Sommer and Christina's dance" *grunt* *grunt* Hey, could somebody help me get up on this darn pole?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 06-28-06, 07:52 PM (EST) 45. "RE: Maureen, the Drive-by Comic" *trots onto stage in front of Maureen* Hey! I'm funny too! Funnier than you! How long does it take to get De-BOR-ah pregnant? Forever, because I am CELIBATE!!!!!!! Ha ha ha!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 06-28-06, 07:48 PM (EST) 44. "RE: Lisa Embarrasses Herself Performs Her Number" *bounds onto stage in front of Lisa* Did someone say CANDY???? I want some CANDY!!!!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 06-28-06, 07:45 PM (EST) 43. "RE: Allison Performths Her Number" *bumps out onto stage, sweating and panting* *tries to dance on her toes to "Swan Lake"* *falls on face as she tries a jete*   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-28-06, 03:02 PM (EST) 38. "In Which Doctor Stan Picks Arranges Imaginary Flowers with His Feet" :r. Stan is pushed on stage in wheelchair and straitjacket:: ::blinks:: ::rotates ankles:: ::giggles:: ::passes out::   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-28-06, 05:23 PM (EST) 39. "Next!!!" "WOW!! That was pathetic priceless! Wasn't it great, folks?? No wait, stop, don't leave everyone. There are some more sappy super acts comin' right up. WAIT! Come back! Hey, how about FREE hot dogs for eveyone who suffers sits through the rest of the show. That's it...free dogs courtesy of our very own Jon Murray. Let's hear it for Jon!!!" <Claps loudly. A few people turn around, come back and sit down> "Okay great. Now don't forget those donations he-yah people." Gimme some Happy Punch and hurry!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 06-28-06, 07:29 PM (EST) 41. "RE: Next!!!" *enters stage in red tutu, Miss Starting Over banner, tiara, and carrying Emmy* *Cassie stands next to Rhonda wearing lavender and yellow clown suit with padding, blacking on skin, and Iyanla mask* Sisters, sisters, (Rhonda) I feel prettier than my sister, Pretty, pretty, pretty, prettier than her, I'm the prettiest, just ask MIRROR! {Both:}Glaring, staring, hate her guts, but don't we act so caring? Rhonda took that Emmy trophy as her own, {Cassie/Iyanla} she wore the dress and I stayed home. {Both:} All kinds of weather, we stick together, notice that we didn't run, with those tired faces, in 5K races, we don't even know who won. Ha-Ha! *brief pause as Cassie retrieves Iyanla mask off of floor* Those who've seen us know that lots of stuff has come between us. Lots of people tried to save our show, but no one can. Lord help the mistah who comes between me and my sistah, unless that sly sistah, has paired up with dear Dr. Stan! *bows and bows and bows* *blows kisses* Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 06-28-06, 07:38 PM (EST) 42. "RE: Next!!!" *pant pant* *bounces onto stage in front of Cassie and Rhonda* *wears red Spandex tutu with cotton candy trim* *carries cotton candy supply* Hey! This is supposed to be all about ME!!!! Sisters, sisters, My little girl won't have no sisters, Because I am celibate, that's for sure, No man wants De-BOR-ah, no, no, sir! *Jodi comes and hauls De-BOR-ah off the stage. Mr. Murray holds mirror toward Rhonda to coax her off-stage, as she is still bowing* Jodi, get yore hands off mah cotton candy!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-28-06, 08:07 PM (EST) 49. "RE: Next!!!" <Antonia is chasing De-BOR-ah across the stage followed by several house guests all trying to help her catch De-BOR-ah who is running and doing ballet leaps back and forth> "Cut! CUT!!! Get the hook....get off the stage...CUTTTT!" <They all suddenly turn around abruptly and run the other way as De-BOR-ah starts chasing Antonia back across the stage> HELLLP!!! Somebody, help!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 06-28-06, 08:07 PM (EST) 48. "RE: Next!!!" *Lanre jogs onto the stage looking cool as a cucumber* Hey, Antonia, how's it going? Yeah, so I'm just finishing a 20 mile run and thought I'd drop over and see how the show is going. *Looks around* So, have you seen Niambi? I thought maybe I could help her do an aerobics demonstration. You know, two beautiful bodies moving to the music. *Looks around some more*   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-28-06, 08:14 PM (EST) 50. "Oooooooh, Lanre!" <Giggles, bats eyes, giggles> <GIGGLES, BATS EYES, GIGGLES!> I can do Lanre Lanre's workout.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 06-29-06, 10:12 AM (EST) 56. "RE: Next!!!" *raises hand from across the room* Here I am, Lanre! *shoving people aside to get to the stage* You like me? You want to help me with my talent. That's very good. I'm a pro runner. Let's run. *waves again at Lanre* *thinks to self* Lanre---Mr Situation -- Lanre----Mr Situation I'm begining to think Mr Situation will never leave his girlfriend. Look at Mr Situation and look at Lanre. Hmmmm *climbs stairs and reaches for Lanre's hand* **((<[Blinding Light>]))** Whatever you want Lanre. *hears music in the background*   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 06-28-06, 08:53 PM (EST) 52. "RE: Next!!!" LAST EDITED ON 06-28-06 AT 09:57 PM (EST) Antonia? Hello, my name is Marie Osmond...and I'm Donny Osmond. Did you ask for some Happy Punch? Here is some Hawaiian Punch. Come on and go Hawaiian!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 06-28-06, 07:58 PM (EST) 47. "RE: In Which Doctor Stan Picks Arranges Imaginary Flowers with His Feet" *pants onto stage in front of Dr. Stan, wearing Rhonda's straitjacket* I am widowed and celibate! *dramatic passing out scene*   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 06-28-06, 08:35 PM (EST) 51. "Grab De-BOR-ah!" ::panting:: C'mon, girls! let's get her off stage, and get on with the show! ::puts reddy whip covered arms around Deborah's waist:: Uhnnn! Come on, help me! Oh, this is just so typical! I'm doing all of the work, and everyone else is having a good ol' time. ::drops Deb:: Fine. I'm going back to my booth! Danee! Oh, Danee! Now, where could he be? I sure hope he stopped David Cassidy before he drove too far. By the way, has anyone seen Buddha since David came by?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-29-06, 10:13 PM (EST) 62. "RE: Grab De-BOR-ah!" Aw, Jodi, baby, I'm so sorry I wasn't here for ya! I just *hic* stepped out to *belch* throw back a couple of 40s and burn a blunt uh, er, um... use the men's room. Wait, right, I had to stop David before he got too far, so I could ask him to be in our wedding party, and yeah, he said yeah! He wants to know what songs you want him to sing. I suggested Beethoven's Symphony No. 6 in F major, Opus 68, but he says he doesn't know the words. What a ditz, that one! Hey, that chick you were lugging around? She's gotten back up on the stage... see that?! Check out that tutu, wouldja! Whoops, there she goes again, down for the count! Woohoo! I see London, I see France, I see De-BOR-ah's.. oh, I mean, sorry, sweetie, well, of course I love those invitations! Sure, I'm listening, I'm listening... I see Venice, I see Brazil... Jodi's fat rolls give me a thrill!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-29-06, 10:31 PM (EST) 63. "Hey Danny, sweetie..." "Hey Danny you cute thing you. I know you and Jodi have got something going on (the b!tch) and apparently Lanre and Niambi (that b!tch) have hooked up. Poetri is not returning my calls and Dr. Stan is, uh, unavailable right now. Do you think you could see if one of your friends might be free tonight???" <giggles, bats eyes, giggles> I need a man!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

mbinkc 32 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 06-28-06, 08:59 PM (EST) 53. "RE: In Which Doctor Stan Picks Arranges Imaginary Flowers with His Feet" LAST EDITED ON 06-28-06 AT 09:02 PM (EST) Helllooo Ladieeesss!!! And a big HELLLOOO to you three in the audience. Oooohhh, thank you so much for being here tonight. You have no idea how hard everyone has worked to put this show together!! *leans down and whispers to the three people in the audience* Okay, here's the real story. These lard a$$e$ ladies have no clue! Just look at them! I, on the other hand, am a talent show in and of itself! *pulls wedgie out of left butt cheek*. I can dance, sing, AND lose weight all at the same time, and my hair NEVER moves! Can you say that about these losers ladies? And have you seen ANYONE look better in super shiny short shorts and a sparklie tank top?? I didn't think so!! Notice I am wearing nothing pink except for my eyeshadow but wear the colors of our great nation...red, white and baby blue! And see that poor, dear, darling man in the straightjacket? These b!tches ladies are responsible for that! That's my Manly Stanley, who will forever be nearest and dearest to my heart. See, his eyes just LIT UP when I said that!! So anyways, what I need you to do is leave here NOW, take dear Doctor Stanley with you, and we'll all meet at my house for a rousing game of Twister!! Pleeeeeease??? *stands back up and pulls wedgie from right butt cheek* ...So like I said, lady and gentlemen, give as much money as you can to these fine ladies from Starting Over. Thank you so, so much. *blows kisses* Thank you! *bows* No, really, thank YOU! *blows more kisses*   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-29-06, 09:54 AM (EST) 54. "Save Docktuh Stan!" <Antonia has swiped several of the donation jars from the talent show and is heading to the Thrift Store on Jill's scooter> "Po-ah Docktuh Stan. We gotta do somethin'. I can't see him sittin' in that chair lookin' like that. I know I saw his blankey in that Thrift Sto-ah the otha day." <Heads into store and starts sorting through piles of junk> "Bleepin' bleep! There it is!!!" <Grabs the blankey and zooms back to Pink's where Stan is slumped in his chair wearing a clown hat and giggling> "Hey. Get that hat offa him. I'll save ya Dock-tuh Sta-an. He helped me when I was down and now I'm helpin' him. I got a big grown a$$ heart he-yah. My Momma raised a good girl." <Waves Dr. Stan's blankey in front of his face> "He-yah ya go Stan. C'mon buddy. That's it......" That hat was kinda cute on him...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-29-06, 10:11 AM (EST) 55. "RE: Save Docktuh Stan!" ::sniffs blanket:: ::drools::   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-29-06, 10:57 AM (EST) 57. "RE: Save Docktuh Stan!" "Yusuf! Get ovah heyah!! Stanley needs you!" "Richahd...help!" "Kelly, we need a clean up on Docktuh Stan." <Takes blankey and places it in Stan's hands...> "Damn it. Okay a last resort heyah. I hate to do it but it's an emergency. Aw sh!t...here we go again...sigh...okay I can get through this....that song...arrrrgghhhh....okay...... SING IT CASSIE!!!" You owe me one...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 06-29-06, 01:12 PM (EST) 58. "Um, what about me?" ::Sommer is still sitting in Christina's puddle of vomit, and she is sobbing heavily:: Why does no one care about me? I am the prettiest! I am the most entrepreneurial! The blondest! Shut up, Rhonda! We all know about your bleach jobs! Yeah, I said it! *WAAAAH!* You all just left me here in this puddle! No one cares! And now Richard's my shorts are all covered in, well, I don't wanna say it. And Jodi almost dropped De-BOR-ah on me! I could have been paralyzed! Then who would keep up my e-bay business? *WAHAAAAAA!* It's just not fair! And now Dr. Stan is getting a present; why don't I ever get any? Where's that camera man? He'll clean me up and make me feel better! *sniff!* D'ya think I can still sell Richard's my shorts on e-bay?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-29-06, 10:43 PM (EST) 64. "RE: Um, what about me?" "Uh...ewww. HEY KELLY! Clean up on the stage. We need a little help heyah!" Now that's nasty!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 06-30-06, 04:40 AM (EST) 66. "Hey Antonia!" Looks like you need some help. Just accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. Speaking of statues, what about that Lanre. Let's give him a hand. I've been told the key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless. Any ideas? Well on to our next talent. She has made our bathroom sparkle. Kelly the cleaning machine. My idea about housekeeping is to sweep the room with a glance. And I'm not going to vacuum till Sears makes one you can ride on. *stretches out arm toward Kelly*   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 06-30-06, 04:55 AM (EST) 67. "Cleaning is a talent!" *cue music* 'Also Sprach Zarathusa' *Kelly enters stage right. Wearing her tool belt, gas mask, and coveralls* *takes mask off* Have no fear, Kelly is here. *puts mask on* *sprays, foams, sprays, brush, spray, brush, small tooth brush, spray, final wipe down* *Kelly takes off gas mask and bows to the croud* *walks off stage with Dr. Stan on her arm* *wispers into Dr. Stans ear*   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 06-30-06, 10:19 AM (EST) 70. "RE: Cleaning is a talent!" *tries to run away from Landre to get on stage where Kelly was* *realizes she would have to clean to upstage Kelly and goes limp in Landre's arms* There are some things even I won't do.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 06-29-06, 02:48 PM (EST) 59. "RE: Save Docktuh Stan!" >SING IT CASSIE!!!" You got it Antonia!! "Good Morning, I said Good Morning!" (Cassie dances) "Woo! Good Morning to you! I said Good Morning to you! Good Morning!" I will be right back in two seconds with another duet with my friend, TJ.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 06-29-06, 03:07 PM (EST) 60. "RE: Donny and Marie Song" Cassie and TJ put on the luau clothing and the flowers around their necks. TJ and Cassie also put a flower on their hair. TJ: "Hello everyone! Yes, it's us again - Donny and Marie! We're going to sing this song that we know you just love and we also know would bring back good memories of the 70s... I'm a little bit country And I'm a little bit rock 'n roll I'm a little bit of Memphis and Nashville With a little bit of Motown in my soul I don't know if it's good or bad But I know I love it so I'm a little bit country And I'm a little bit rock 'n roll THANK YOU EVERYBODY!!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 06-29-06, 04:20 PM (EST) 61. "RE: Donny and Marie Song" *lumbers onto stage in torn red spandex tutu with cotton candy lei around neck* "I'm a little bit celibate, and I couldn't get on the pole..." *Antonia brings on Landre to tackle Deborah and carry her off stage* NO!!!! NO!!!!! Oh, hi, Landre! Will you be my trainer? I can't wait to start sweatin' with you, honey!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-30-06, 08:00 AM (EST) 68. "RE: Save Docktuh Stan!" *Jumps onstage with guitar and grabs mic* And the drool's in the bucket and the doctor's nuts... All I can see are these chicks with big butts... Hey, Snuffs! You don't snap to, I'm going to take Blanky from ya and then the sparks will really fly! I'm being followed by a trail of vomit... Trail of vomit, la la la la la!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

26mitogo 493 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-30-06, 01:35 AM (EST) 65. "RE: In Which Doctor Stan Picks Arranges Imaginary Flowers with His Feet" ::Leaves dressing room very slowly ... expecting hordes of fans to swarm, screaming for autographs -- sees --- no one?:: W-wha-at? where are all my fans ... they must be waiting over by the stage. Oh, that makes since. They want to sit as near me as possible so instead of swarming me here, they will do it near their seats at the stage. I'll go over & give them the opportunity to see me, maybe let a few of them touch me. ::heads toward stage, slowing considerably in order to do best impression of the beauty queen walk ... nears stage, poses in perfect model/beauty queen stance ... awaits swarms of fans. ...................................... no one arrives.:: ::rounds corner .... in time to see fiasco that was to be a talent show ... people lying in vomit, others trying to leave to get married, psycho Dr.Stan mumbling something, Cassie doing that hidious "Good Morning" dance, Deborah running across the stage, torn tutu hanging on her, cotton candy pieces stuck all over the tutu & melting because of the intense body heat from running away from all other SO performers, etc........... What the heII is going on here. Everyone should have been set & ready for my grand entrance. This isn't honoring me at all. I'm getting really p1ssed right now. I was suposed to stroll in, all eyes & all lights on me, my blessing candles lit and lining my path & everyone bowing as I pass. Why wasn't this ready? Why didn't everyone make sure to do what I wanted done? I'm going to have to tell Rhonda! She'll make you do what I want. She knows I have to have stuff done for me. Where is she, where is Rhonda? And, uh, Jodi? You know I had to stay away from men so I can get over my addiction to love so you are NOT supporting me with all your wedding talk. You are going to need to cancel that wedding cuz it's making me feel bad. And that's not allowed. WHY ISN'T EVERYONE SUPPORTING ME LIKE THEY ARE SUPOSED TO? Now get it right! I'm telling Rhonda!!!!!! I am beautiful, you know. And I have compassion. I am very famous because I am in Rhonda’s book.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 06-30-06, 10:12 AM (EST) 69. "All right, everybody!" WHY are we not supporting our dear Christie? *snarls* Don't you all DARE ruin the profits I could get from this gem of a book. We have to support Christie in becoming free from all of her addictions. De-BOR-ah, Christie is addicted to being in the spotlight, so you may NOT ruin that for her. And she could possibly become addicted to cotton candy, so it is not kind to have that around her either. Jodi and Lisa, you KNOW that Christie is addicted to men, so you should have nothing to do with men when you are around her. I wouldn't think that would be so hard for you, Jodi. And Antonia, passing out free hot dogs is NOT supporting Christie, if you know what I mean. And Niambi, working out with Landre is very unsupportive, as I GAVE him to Christie as her trainer. Don't worry, dear, just keep looking at this copy of my book as your inspiration. And please notice my picture on the cover... *gazes at cover of book, becomes mesmerized* I love me, I love me, I love me.... Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 06-30-06, 12:49 PM (EST) 71. "Whatever you say, Rhonda....." ::whispering:: psssst! Danny! Danny! How do you feel about eloping? Since our wedding isn't "supportive" of Christie and her many, numerous vices, we just won't tell her. or Rhonda. Whay do you say, my twinkie-pie? I mean, since she is addicted to love/men, no weddings. And her food/alcohol problems will keep her away from our reception at Carl's Jr. What? Oh, they don't allow alcohol there? And you know from personal experience? Oh, ok, the stuff is fattening, anyway- and I am on a diet, after all! Ok, so I have some more planning to do. I just know where the reception is, that I've asked Iyanla to perform the ceremony, Andy is not making my dress, and that I want our cake to be made from 1,000 orange and lemon flavored Hostess cupcakes (with a Twinkie bride and groom on top!). And your groom's cake will be made of chocolate cupcakes and *hee hee* ding dongs. Oh, and see if David knows the theme from "The Brady Bunch": I always loved that show! Ok, gotta go now! *blows kisses* Bye for now, my fiery stud! I have heard nothing from Jill in days. Maybe I need someone a little more decisive and reliable to be my maid of honor? Where's Lisa2 at?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-30-06, 01:46 PM (EST) 72. "Oh boy it's a weddin'!" "I'm sooo excited about youh weddin' girl." <Mumbles to self: "Maybe now she'll keep her hands off ME!"> Maybe can you have the ceremony at the Stahtin' Ovah house? Down by the pool maybe? Near the fireplace where that weirdo Andy threw in all the bras? It would be so <bleepin'> romantic! Christie can just go bite me if she doesn't like it. Maybe we can slip her some Happy Pills and she can just chill. But wheyah evah ya have it, I was wonderin' uh, if they'll be any, uh, really rich nice guys theyah?" I need a man...I'm runnin' outta cash!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

mbinkc 32 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 06-30-06, 04:14 PM (EST) 73. "RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'!" Helllooo Ladieeesss!! A WEDDING???? Ooooooooooo!!! Am I invited?? Pleaseeeeeee??? I just love weddings. All of the decorations and dresses, and oooooo, Jodiiiiii, I can be your Maid of Honor!! I am a very honorable person! Dr. Stanley could be the flower girl if we can find someone to push him down the aisle. Can someone pass me a tissue?? Anyways, Jodiiiiii, pleaseeeeee think about it! I'm so good at doing things like this. The cake would be made out of nutritious and delicious fruits and vegetables, topped by two flaming bananas! And the flowers, of course, would come from my pristine garden. The decorations...well...have you seen my super shiny tank top and sparklie short shorts? I have taste! So of course the place would be decorated in style red, white and blue to match my outfit. I hope everyone knows the Chicken Dance!! ANTONIAAAAAA!!! Here's $20. Knock yourself out, chickie!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-30-06, 07:14 PM (EST) 75. "RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'!" Thommer taught me a new kind of Chicken Danth, Richard . . . ::straddles Richard's stubby legs:: Now, let yourthelf go, my little Boo-Boo. Be FEARLETH! ::hot Conga music plays::   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 06-30-06, 07:19 PM (EST) 77. "RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'!" ::temporarily revives:: ::sees Allison and Richard Simmons doing Lambada dance:: ::eyes glaze over again::   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 06-30-06, 04:16 PM (EST) 74. "RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'!" I'm sure there will be plenty of rich nice guys there, Antonia, my sister; after all, Danny is a huge star! They don't give you your own show on Vh1 if you aren't, right? And hey, since you were so cheap great with the costumes, how would you like to design my brides maids and flower girl dresses? I know, I know, Christina, you are my flower girl! I bet the bead store owner will give you a good discount if we plug the heck outta his place on t.v. buy in bulk. Whaddya say? Help your sister out? Oh, and I guess it wouldn't be supportive of Andy to invite her, either; what, with her single-motherhood, not believing in the sanctity of marriage, and wanting to make over the bridal party! Nope, better let that sleeping dog lie!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 06-30-06, 07:17 PM (EST) 76. "RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'!" "Awesome, girlfriend. I'll do the dresses! Do you like shiny gold as your theme colah? I do need ta ask though, Jodi honey, are YOU wearing a dress?" "I'm ready to get stahted. And uh, do I have a BIG TV STAH size budget for the weddin' pahty's outfits??? I mean real <bleepin'> big?? Let's go do some $hoppin' sistah! Could ya have Danny send a limo for me? I don't do buses..." Thi$ could be real $weet...$$$$$   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

mbinkc 32 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 06-30-06, 08:49 PM (EST) 78. "RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'!" *pushes Allison off legs* *wipes sweat off legs* Well, Jodi, I can smell rejection a mile away! Never mind me trying to set up your reception with such class that you have never seen the likes of, nor will you. I can find plenty of other people to do the Bunny Hop with me. B!tch   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 07-01-06, 00:39 AM (EST) 79. "RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'!" Are we married now?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 07-01-06, 07:46 AM (EST) 80. "RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'!" JODI (and all you other *hic* nosy wannabes) – the wedding is ON! My dearest little tub of lard bundle of love, yes, WE ARE GETTING MARRIED! And the sooner the better. I talked to David, and he's available next week. Let's recap, my little 1500-lb. land tortoise turtle dove: 1. I don't think we'll have to elope. It sounds like Richie and the Gang will play nice and stand up for us. If the going gets tough, though, David says we can hop in the back of his Mini (talk about junk in the trunk!), and he'll spirit us off to another location so's we can elope. Spirit... hmmm... did somebody mention drinkin'?? Oh, wait, back to the list... 2. That snobby sow Andy will not make your tent gown. I think I'll get her to make my tux, though. 3. Richie can provide comic relief uh, a smiling presence and maybe some aerobics, as long as he can keep those sparkly shorts from crawlin' up his butt. 4. Antonia can keep a tally of everything we spend. I heard she's good with money. 5. Our Wedding Party: You need to help me out here, 'cause I forgot some of what we decided. Let's see... David's gonna be my best man, and also sing. Cory Feldman's going to be our maid of honor, unless you have somebody better in mind. That IV woman will perform the ceremony. What'd you say that Rhondaw woman will do? Give free Botox injections after the ceremony? Our ring bearer is Gary Coleman. And Dr. Stan can cry for everyone. I've started on the design for our invitations. What do you think? (I did spell your name right, didn't I?) David said he thought it looked a little "busy," but it was the best I could do after I ate those 'shrooms, considering all the stress we're under right now, my little snowball! All my *hic* love to you forever and ever and evah, Just get me to the church on time...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 07-01-06, 09:23 AM (EST) 82. "RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'!" "LOVE those invites, Danny. You captured the spirit of the big event. hehe" Maybe I can sell one to the National Enquirer...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 07-04-06, 03:26 PM (EST) 85. "RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'!" Mrs. Richard Thimmons thendth J. Daniels Bonaduce and Jodiferous Gigundo Rotundo her betht wishes. THORRY I THTOLE YOUR THUNDER, THUCKERTH!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 07-01-06, 09:11 AM (EST) 81. "RE: Oh boy it's a weddin'!" Who are you calling a dog, you - you - you - sharpei-looking mongrel!? Well! I never! The very nerve! You know what? There aren't enough silkworms in The Universe to spin the material for your wedding gown, sister! And besides, I haven't the time for this paltry little project, anyway. Ahem - I have a medical update. The latest tests show I'm having twins, and it looks like they're going to be born very soon. Dr. VantToLookYung assures me there will be no complications, as he says children of this lineage are typically born very early. I'm not quite sure what he meant by that "of this lineage" thing, but I suspect he means they're going to be beautiful and special like me. Anyway, you can be certain I will not touch your wedding gown with a 10-foot pole, but my children and I will come to the wedding so we can hoot and holler and make pig noises wish you and Mr. Bonaduce well. So there!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 07-04-06, 11:30 AM (EST) 83. "Well, did I win?" *taps foot impatiently* *stomps around Pink's* Mr. Murray? Mr. Murray?? MR. MURRAY???? Where in the heck is he? I have to know if I won the talent show. I see no other possible outcome, but I really want my trophy. Umm, De-BOR-ah, please get out of my face. You stink and I think you should go use Kelly's bathroom to take a nice bath and wash all that cotton candy off. Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 07-04-06, 03:21 PM (EST) 84. "RE: Well, did I win?" I agree you should win, Rhonda. You made a lot of money for uth providing all that private life coaching for men behind Pinkth' shubbery. Have you heard? I am now Mrth. Richard Thimmonth. I can't wait to find out what you and Jon and the crew of Thrtarting Over hath planned for uth! A double makeover? Another graduation for me? Our own show?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 07-04-06, 04:54 PM (EST) 86. "RE: Well, did I win?" Allithon, I mean Allison, you are very brave to get married to a new boo-boo without Iyanla here to approve him for you. I hope that she likes him! Otherwise, who knows WHAT may happen! So, is it now Mrs. and Mrs. Richard Simmons? I'll have to get with Mr. Murray to see what we will do for you. You may have better luck with that when Iyanla gets back to her little pet beloved client. I am thinking a makeover from Bridey could be entertaining.... Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 07-04-06, 09:34 PM (EST) 87. "RE: Well, did I win?" Well, absolutely! A big old streak of white on the side of that dyed-red hair and you'll be simply lovely, Alithun. Now, I can't do anything about those gi-normous triple chins, or that idiotic lipth of yourth, but hair and makeup, I can do. And eyebrows! Girlfriend, you need your brows done, but I think we should dispense with the tweezers. I mean, that kind of kid stuff is more up Andy's alley. So let me ask you something: Are you afraid of needles? I'm sure Rhondaw will lend me a teensy-tiny hypo filled with a bit of Botox. The only thing I'm not sure I can fix is that new husband of yourth. What were you thinking?! Ewwwww! You've hit a whole new low. And talk about low – that Simmonth character must reach up to what, your shoulder? Watching you two roll around together would be somewhat akin to seeing a teacup poodle balancing on a basketball. Whoops, hang on a sec, Vantie's calling. What? What? What? Andy's gone into labor? AAIIEE! I'm off to the hospital – fill you in later!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 07-05-06, 00:50 AM (EST) 88. "Oh, Andy...." LAST EDITED ON 07-05-06 AT 00:57 AM (EST) Andy, why don't you and I come to an impasse? I call a truce! No more comparisons to canines, no more comments about your joke career as a stylist makeovers (Xxxtina did look great, I'll admit!). All this animosity is tearing me up inside; no, it isn't my 10-pack of burritos from Taco Bell I had for breakfast today. I can't even get through the first five minutes of my workout at Curves! So, think about it, ok? I won't call you a dog if you won't call me fat. So, truce? You wanna be my sister? Ok, for the rest of the wedding plans- Danny, you will have to change those invites; my middle name is Helen. Antonia, that gold material sounds great for the bridesmaid's dresses, and for the flower girl's (not sure, but I think Xxxtina wears a 2? You may want to ask her as soon as she sobers up). Richard, I would be honored to have you as my maid of honor! Does gold lame sound good to you? Allithun, you would be a great bartender (just keep your lips and Kim's off the drinks!). Dr. Stan, you can ride behind me and carry my train. TJ, you could be the candle lighter, Kelly, you can sweep up the flower petals immediately after the ceremony (please control yourself during! I know it will bother you to look at them, just laying there on the floor, but please...and I've already gotten permission from the Carl's Jr. managers- you can knock yourself out in their bathrooms!). Sommer, you can videotape the ceremony...anyone interested in photography? Ok, that's all I've got for now; I need to go stock up on snack cakes (for the wedding cakes! not personal consumption!), and I have a fitting at David's Bridal; I think they found a dress just big enough that looks like it was made for me. What, Maureen? Uh, sure, I guess you could entertain guests with your comedic, um, talent. Oh, and when you're done with your jokes, you can pass out favors! Kim, you can make all my bouquets/arrangements, and Lisa...well, you can make salsa, if you want. Ok, I'm off, if any of you has a suggestion, leave me a note! And remember- not a word of it to Rhonda or Christie. Since it's not supportive and all... I wasn't kidding about the truce, Andy!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 07-05-06, 07:12 AM (EST) 90. "RE: Oh, Andy...." *sighs deeply as big, lone tear rolls down her cheek, carrying with it a couple of stray false eyelashes* Oh, Jodiferous, I mean Jodi, you're... right. What have I been thinking? We could be sisters! Well, certainly not the kind that can exchange clothes and all, but we can be close. I'm dictating this from my hospital bed, where I'm in labor with my twins, and Mom's taking down every word of it. She even did a little research for me and found the picture I saved for you, of your perfect wedding cake: Isn't it lovely? Isn't it just you? I think it's wonderful, from the Mini Muffins on top to the Snowballs around the base. And it's got HoHos (hee hee, just for you, Christina!), and DingDongs (not for you, Richard), and all sorts of goodies just waiting for you to stuff down in a mad feeding frenzy for you and Danny-boy to savor, along with all your esteemed guests. *grimaces in pain* Wow, that was some labor pain just then! I better go so I can give birth. Oh, speaking of the twins, I think I'll name them after you and Danny! Isn't that clever?! Looking forward to being your sister,   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 07-05-06, 01:02 AM (EST) 89. "RE: Well, did I win?" "Uh, Rhonda. We just finished countin' the official ballots from the Talent Show judges and I'm afraid all 417 votes in your handwritin' were disqualified. The actual winner of the competition by a unanimous decision...is...drum roll, please....none othah than...our very own...the one with the most acts...De-BOR-ah!!!" Hey she said she'd leave if they gave it to her...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 07-05-06, 07:23 AM (EST) 91. "RE: Well, did I win?" WHAT? You've gotta be kidding me! Who's this De-BOR-ah chick, anyhow? And how did she wind up winning? I mean, after my soulful and spirited rendition of "Cat's in the Cradle," how could I not be the winner? And that version was never released! I wrote that song just for the SO women! Sure, I realize my partner crapped out on me at the last minute with that psycho stuff, but I thought for sure I carried the contest on my good looks alone. I am totally in awe and stymied and surprised and freaked out and am ready to stage a peaceful protest. Only in this case, it might not be so peaceful... in fact, I think you've convinced me that that peace stuff is for the birds. Antonia, I'm staging an all-out war against you and your so-called judges. Plotting my revenge, Did you even have judges? Or were you... bribed??!!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member" 07-05-06, 10:40 AM (EST) 92. "RE: Well, did I win?" <hic> De-bor-ah won? How can that be? I <hic> danced my heart out! I gave you all a thrill! And then I gave Kelly something to look forward to- sorry, Sommer! And now you're tellin' us that De-BOR-ah won?!?!?! Yus<hic>suf, kitty kitty, dude man dude.... I like pickles.... *scratches butt* I'm kinda itchy. I think I got a wedgie, and for some reason, I really want a pickle. What was we talkin' 'bout? Oh yeah... I'm gonna be Jodi's flower girl, and I'm such a good <hic> dancer... Can I at least have a pretty ribbon that say "Honorable Mention? Since <hic> I am a woman of honor and all?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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