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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10"
Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-10-06, 01:32 PM (EST)
 
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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
*to the 320-person SO production staff*I suppose you're wondering why I've called you all here. So the alcohol is gone from the house. But? That's not all. I have here a list of things that will have to change in the house that has come recommended from my lawyers, Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe. *ahem* The kitchen counters will have to be wiped with Simple Green every 10 minutes to get rid of all the germs laying around. Same with Kelly's bathroom. The others? Not so much. If that doesn't work, two words (and more PP): Saran. Wrap. Food-wise, all the lard-filled fats (a registered trademark of Lisapooh) and salty snacks will have to go. So will the broccoli; can't have our sound techs trying to edit out their inadvertent flatulence. Dairy products? Toast (and they can't have that either!). Bacon? Not any more! Here. I have dozens of cans of Del Monte (PP) bean sprouts. This is breakfast, lunch, and dinner from now on. (Besides, Rhonda loves them.) The pool will have a metal fence built around it to prevent HGs from wandering into it inadvertently. We can build it with the money we'll save on food. Also, the pool will be equipped with a Lisa2 alarm in the event she's ever within 2 miles 6 feet of the pool perimeter. Finally, we are ecologically responsible here at BMP. We're building a compost pile in the back yard, where Kim can hurl at the Garden Buddha the rosebush will. That is all. 
DAW-proofing the SO House since forever a couple years ago.
ADMINISTRIVIA:THE ONE CHARACTER TO A CUSTOMER RULE IS WAIVED. If you'd like to play someone else who is not being played in addition to your character, let me know in the signup thread. Looks like we've got our full complement of HGs! But that doesn't mean you can't be an unclaimed former HG. Great job by the objects. Now let's have some conflama this time around! Remember to use your sigs, or at least sign off as your characters. If you want to join in as a RECURRING character, please sign up in the signup thread before posting. That's where you'll find your sigs also. Remember, if you're unable to post as your character for a time, just send me a note to that effect. Otherwise, I can only assume you're uninterested, which isn't fair to someone who might want to play. Do NOT post as a character that's been claimed. Thanks. You can post as ad hoc, one-time characters WITHOUT signing up. If you intend to reuse your character, please do sign up . . . thanks! And HAVE FUN! Non-players: THIS IS NOT A DISCUSSION THREAD. Discussion-type posts may be removed. BUT . . . You may address or ask questions of the role-players as their characters. E-mail or PM me with any problems. Based on various other "Be The . . ." games, created by (all hail) Angelfood.
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turquiosedove 100 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-10-06, 02:10 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-10-06 AT 02:12 PM (EST)Hi Mr. Murray, Do you think you'll ever do a spot down here again, you know, with the girls doing an exercise?? I can have some product placement too. I use WINDEX for the glass and all, I use PLEDGE for the wood, HOOVER to vaccuum up the beads that roll away, JACK DANIEL, MARLBORO, DORITOS... etc Call me, we'll crunch some numbers. 
eta.pix
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kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-10-06, 02:59 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-11-06 AT 01:06 PM (EST)This is my truth. I've been flying under the radar. I didn't want to be called upon for board of review. But you know what? I don't want to assume anything, but I think the LC's value my advice. They are on my side with the Kim "issue". I think I'm now the wisest one in the house. *makes funny movement with lips* I'm gone from the house for a short while and look how dirty it has become. Even the production staff has to tell us to clean it. What to do? A list. 1. I have made a chart for all the housemates, I will post it on the fridge later.
2. Go shoping for Simple Green and Bounty Paper towels.
3. Clean the fridge. I will talk to IV about setting up a messy lesson for Jodi.
4.Buy toothbrushes to lovingly clean my bathroom. I can't wait to spend time with you.
5. Buy a bottle of Dr. Mcgillicuddy's® Mentholmint Schnapps, as an "I'm Sorry Kim" gift. hehehe *funny lip movement* I will slip this under her pillow. I must also remember to get some breath mints.
6. Collect all leftovers for backyard compost heap. Mr. Murray Sir. I love broccoli. Why don't the other HG's use Beano. I myself do not need it. But if the others use it "there be no flatulence. And now I'm going to my bathroom. How I've missed you. You are mine, all mine. edit for spelling 
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-10-06, 04:28 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
:: squints up into the sky, trying to recall ::Kelly . . . Kelly . . . Sorry, not ringing any bells . . . though your picture looks kind of familiar. :: shakes head :: :: scratches neck :: 
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-10-06, 04:21 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-10-06 AT 04:24 PM (EST):: clips beard with Pre-K scissors :: :: eases crusty hunk of mashed potato through moustache tips ::
Speaking of libelous action, Jon, what did Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe say about Andy Paige's recent makeovers?
:: licks lips : :
:: changes close-circuit camera view of SO house to Buddha ::
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catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
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04-10-06, 04:54 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
oh, my kelly kelly kelly! how i've missed you (and your REACH, of course!). that darn kim, i keep having to humor her, when she does her rhonda-ish "exercises" with mr. mirror. he says hello, and please bring WINDEX, b/c the skinny one left lipstick and vomit all over him, and it's beginning to chafe. mr. tub is looking forward to your return, he's been laying low, too! he's <sssh!> also developing a bit of a ring. and trust me, nothing will be more conducive to your healing, than a certain menage-a-trois- you, mr. tub, and BON AMI. haha, that's an awesome image i have! i amuse myself so, sometimes. anyway, that jodi has been in your brocolli- i think you should lay into, i mean, ask her politely to stop the rampant consumption. let's just say, there isn't enough beano in the world, *wink wink*. ah, i guess it's nothing ten to fifteen GLADE PLUG IN FANS (white tea lotus scent, we're keepin' it all buddha like up in here!), won't take care of. anything that gets me more scrub time with you, my dear, isn't such a bad thing. oh, i forgot to mention, jodi also found kim's bat a few nights ago, and completely smashed mr. scale. i'm afraid he might need a trip to one of christie's doctors. that is all.
simple green is just too minty for moi. and mr. medicine cabinet still has xxxtina's ointment.
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kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-11-06, 12:49 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
*sniff* *sniff* Everyone is excited about Lisa. Once she leaves, I’ll finally be top dog. My rules will be followed.
*sniff* *sniff* I must work on the cleaning chart. *throwing open the door* Oh My! I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. *falling to the floor * *SMOOOCH* I Love you so much BR. What happen to you? It’s that Kim & Jodi, you say! How can they defile you like this? I’m just not sure the other girls like me. *Wipe eye* sniffle* wipe other eye* *sniff* *sniff* Oh my darling bathroom. Who needs to touch people when I can run my hand over your smooth cool tile. I agree with you on Simple Green. What do you think of OrangeGlo? What is that piece of clothing over there? Why it’s Kim’s “sweater”. I don’t think she wears it any more. It’s so soft. What a nice cleaning rag. I’m going to turn the lights down and light a candle. Now the mood is much better.
*Scrubbing with Bon Ami and Kim’s sweater* There, There, My beautiful tub. *scrub, scrub, scrub* This is the only therapy I need. As my mother used to tell me: ” A clean bathroom is like sitting next to God” *Stands up and looks into the mirror* Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, Who do you love best of all? I love you too. I have some orange-scented Windex. Let me clean off those disgusting lip marks. Now you can see clearly, just like me. You know, Jodi’s mask is cracking and I, we must help it.
I have to go to group now, I will be back to clean you , *reaches down and touches the toilet seat* The way, you haven’t been cleaned in years. You are the best throne I’ve ever owned. Why I’m a poet, and didn’t know it. *Blows kiss as walking out the door.*
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trikelady 82 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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04-11-06, 03:19 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
Well it's ABOUT TIME that pigsty got cleaned up!
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-11-06, 05:31 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
:: shifts in chair at Lisa's graduation:::: drills in ear with little finger :: :: nods, wipes finger in jacket pocket :: :: finds linty Ricola :: :: pretends to be checking fly, pops Ricola in mouth, delivers Lisa Speech :: "I've seen you go from a little girl, to a woman." :: sits down, realizes speech was for Lisa I :: :: pulls collar up :: :: slinks up stairs :: ::calls cab :: At home: :: adjusts close circuit camera to Kelly's bathroom :: :: sees Kim drinking Simple Green ::
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catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
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04-11-06, 07:46 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
kelly, dear, your mother was right! ahhh, i feel great. and yes, orange glo would do well. i, too noticed the skinny one drinking the simple green-perhaps mistaking it for absinthe? uh-oh, i see she's reaching for the "altoid" tin. this can't end well...
that darn jodi, she just came in, boohooing all over, whining "it's not fair!" over and over, getting snot on my precious porcelain. that cow! if she REALLY wants to "stand in her truth," as they say here, she'd realize that it's not this house she needs-but a sex change. she could even keep her name! and i'm sure that nice benedict fellow rhonda was talking about would still be interested. *wink wink* how dare the skinny one call me a pigsty. ha! i think she mentioned something about saving that new cleaning rag for a graduation, so i'm sure we'll be hearing about it. just tell her you "think" iyanla threw it to the universe, as some sort of ritual offering. that ought to shut her up (for once!). i can't wait to see what pinchy mcgee, er, andy paige did to nulisa. after lisa1's matronly makeunder, i saw her cry actual tears. maybe they should have done that sooner? anyhoo, i'm sure it'll be a riot. oh, great, here comes "stan-the-man," and his nose hair trimmers. be ready, kelly my love!
hey, whaddaya know? those electric nose hair trimmers really DO work!
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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04-12-06, 04:30 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
(Adjusting her jacket and approaching the podium at nuLisa graduation)Ahhh, Miss Lisssa. This is a night that rivals all others...oh YES. It marks the beginning of a revolution, a night of rebirth! We know that all of creation is poised and ready to cheer you on - why the angels themselves want to know how I completed such a radical transformation! That's because the work we have done is just THAT important, THAT revolutionary, THAT historical! This is the dawning of "Super Lisa", a woman who has learned to speak her own mind. Those faded images of Lisa the Photocopy, Lisa the Archetype, Lisa the Parody, and Lisa the Forgery have once and for all been destroyed...no...they've been ERASED! Our work has been so thorough, so all-encompassing, that all remnants of Lisa the Mimic are gone - it is as if she never existed. Oh, Miss Lisa...you came to me with nothing...less than nothing. But through the genius of my intuition, I came up with some amazingly effective exercises! You sat in swamp water because I threatened to stop coaching you if you didn't, you washed your hands with a magic potion I put in a salad dressing bottle, you wore that funny outfit for three days, you flapped your arms on Melrose Avenue, and best of all, you let me boss you around to the point of forcing you to jump into the pool on a 50 degree night - despite your crippling fear of water! How I loved making you parade around in a bathing suit in front of a young, toned, handsome swimming instructor afer hiding your body for 15 years. And my personal favorite, throwing those boulder-sized balls at you while you flopped around in the water, struggling to obey my every command...balls here, balls there, balls everywhere - A HAHAHAHAHA! (Regaining composure) Ahem...all of those things were designed to make you an original, Lisa. I knew we were having a breakthrough after this particular exercise: (cut to videotape. Lisa is seen trying to move forward while connected to a home-made traction device. She is seen struggling to maintain control of several ropes in her hands. The ropes are attached to buckets of "the mess that is Lisa's life" (a/k/a paint). The buckets have words taped to them...words like, "lonely", "afraid", etc. Iyanla is standing several feet away. She seems preoccupied and is filing her nails, but because she is a seasoned professional, she effortlessly blurts out phrases like, "come on Lisa, this is your life baby! It's hard, ain't it? Tryin' to hold all of that stuff together and move forward? But that's what you do everyday! Let it go Lisa, just LET IT GO!. Waiting for Iyanla's order, Lisa obediently releases her ropes and the mess that is Lisa's life (a/k/a paint) is now splattered all over the ground. Iyanla cackles. Lisa cries.) I knew you had changed that day! After you dropped those ropes and relieved yourself of 50 pounds of mess that is your life, you made a profound statement...it was something that was so insightful, so deep, and so awe-inspiring that I wrote it down. You said, "I feel like a weight has been lifted from me".
Whew, that blew me away. So, you've faced your demons and found your voice. Never again will anyone call you, "Lisa the Parrot". You are not an echo, not a ventriloquist's dummy...no ma'am. Now, Lisa, repeat after me: "I have been a lowly, cowering failure of a woman who deserved to have my husband stolen from me by a woman who was far more beautiful, intelligent, and desireable than I am...." ******************************************* 
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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04-12-06, 06:01 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
Yo...Murray! Back off! Don't be getting your face all up in my business...I ain't done yet!!! Hallmark moment, my butt! Hallmark wishes they had Iyanla on staff...LISA, you are to ignore that little man behind the curtain. I am the great and powerful OZ...Um, I mean Iyanla! Ahem...now, Miss Lisa, we continue. Repeat after me: "I will ask Tony's forgiveness for making him marry me. I will ask Tony's forgiveness for forcing him to commit adultery. I will honor his illegitimate child as an offspring of royalty...the offspring of King Tony. Once I find out if the child is a boy or a girl, I will throw it a Batman or Barbie themed birthday party to represent every birthday I selfishly withheld." C'mon girl! Speak up...Iyanla is under pressure here!
*******************************************
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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04-13-06, 07:09 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-13-06 AT 07:14 PM (EST)LAST EDITED ON 04-13-06 AT 07:11 PM (EST) (whispering) Ummmmmm.....are you referring to Mary-Ellis, tough guy?
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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04-15-06, 03:05 AM (EST)
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35. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
OK, Miss Lisa. I don't have much choice here. There's another DAW en route to the house already, so one way or the other, I have to get your butt outta here. Of course, my preference was to do it my way, but I don't want you to go into a system overload and blow the whole event. So, let's regroup and try again:Repeat after Me: "I've been a good house guest. I've never slammed a door, touched anyone's laundry, copped an attitude, hogged a bathroom, fought over grocery money, and I did all my arts and crafts with the determination of a child. I never pretended to have a mysterious gynecological medical condition that I couldn't afford to have treated, I never expected SO to supply the cosmetic surgery that I really, really want, and I am not more than 45 pounds overweight and on a special diet that I can't stick to. I never expected SO to make me a celebrity fundraiser, a celebrity disc jockey, a model, a singer who doesn't want to be known as Toni Braxton's sister, a stand-up comedian, an animal trainer, an author of a tell-all book about my life as a stripper/prostitute, or a talk show hostess. I was an enemy to none and a friend to all. I never cried because I couldn't find a boyfriend, my biological father, my step-father, John Davidson, or a child I put up for adoption in the 80's, and I never said that I came from a family of alcoholics or drug addicts. I never said I hated to be touched, I never stole anyone's thunder, and I don't need a job, an apartment, or a reason to live, ..." Um Lisa, why were you here anyway?
*******************************************
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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-15-06, 03:36 AM (EST)
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36. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
*Looks around, rather perplexed.*I... don't know... um, well....yes....oooh, uhhh...I really don't know.... well, maybe because my husband cheated on me and all these years I thought it was his fault. And ....uhh, well, yes, then I came here and you convinced me ...helped me to re-A-lissse, uuuhh, that it was all my fault.... that I, aaaahhh, was making up stories and lies for my family .... because I was, ahhhh, worried about what they would think of me if they knew that I blamed poor Tony (picking up speed now) for all my problems when it was really my fault that he cheated on me and that I have nobody to blame but myself and that I've been a bad mother to my Stephanie by allowing her to be the mother and me be the child. And all I had to do to re-A-lisse all of this was to stomp around in cess pool of filth, drop a bunch of paint buckets to get to my beautiful plate, sit in a tree and count until somebody told me to stop, stand on a public balcony and shout, "I'm QUEEN of the WORLD!" while shaking my booty, wear ridiculous clothes that others chose for me, scribble out my anger on a piece of construction paper, learn to flamenco dance, learn to play the guitar, learn how to be a pole dancer so I can be more in touch with my inner beauty, learn to swim and then let you throw really big balls at me while I flail away in the water worrying about drowning while my housemates stand by and hope that I don't drown. And for some reason I really, really have a strong desire to eat crackers? *Stands in a long uncomfortable silence.* Well, yes, aaahhh, do you think I could just go now??? 
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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04-15-06, 02:08 PM (EST)
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38. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
Yesssss......you "re-A-lissse" that you needed to start over! You have single-handedly dismantled the myth of the Hispanic woman as being...um....you know....sorry....that only works for Jill. I can't say anything about Spanish people without getting into mucho trouble!So, Miss Lisa, I declare you an official graduate of the SO house. Our graduation gift to you is a library of inspirational paperback books and tapes by me, Iyanla VanZandt. We are also giving you a plastic bag of sample Tupperware bowls that Lisa left behind, a lovely, brightly colored mask of your friend Jodi, and $40 worth of Saltine crackers for those urges you have. Good luck, mi amiga! (Horn is honking in driveway) Um...Lisa, the limo is here. We're gonna have to cut this short, my darling! Adios, senora! Via con Dios! Como se llama? Me llamo Iyanla! Mucho gusto! Muy Bien! Que Pasa! Hola! Me Casa es su casa! Feliz Navidad! Hey, bet you didn't know that I'm bi-lingual too!
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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-15-06, 05:34 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
(whispering) Ummmmmm.....are you referring to Mary-Ellis, tough guy?Well, she's dead, so her ability to hold a current job would . . . *phone rings, JM answers* Yes? Oh. Okay, I see it now. Thanks. Bye. *hangs up* That? Was Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe. They've advised me to make no further comment.
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kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-12-06, 12:42 PM (EST)
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16. "The Bathroom's all Mine!" |
*Sniff* *Sniff* *Dabs eye with Kleenex* Lisa’s gone. My roommate. Our late night talks. Now what will I do? *Sniff* *Sniff* ~~A Life Changing Moment~~ I now have my bathroom to myself. My dear Bathroom, we will have tonight alone. Oh the plans I have for you. I will gather all my tools for a session later tonight.
Just think, it’s you and me. All alone. I hope everyone says nice things about me at my graduation. How could they not. They look up to me. Well, maybe not Kim. Why is everyone being so nice to her? Can’t they see the evil coming out of her? They will see how she’s been so mean to me. I can’t believe what Christie said to me. I thought “This House” was to build us up. Christie goo-gooed all over Kim. *funny lip movements* *said with a sneer* You are so beautiful. Blaa, blaa, blaa. She’s too skinny, drunk half the time. Why is she so beautiful? I felt so alone. I’ve lost my roommate. I just wanted to slip under the table. Does any one care? So what was Christie’s answer to say something good about me? *humff* “I like the way you walk to the podium.” “No just kidding” “Muuuhahahahahahahah” “just kidding” What does that mean? Well Christie can dish it out, but can she take it. I wonder when I will get a new roommate? I hope we hit it off. Maybe it will be a few days and then I will have MY BATHROOM to myself. I will be back with my cleaning supplies My Darling Bathroom. We will have a night to remember. * picks up a very short, dark, hair* What is this?
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-13-06, 04:23 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: The Bathroom's all Mine!" |
>* picks up a very short, dark, hair* What is this? :: looks more skittish and uncomfortable than usual :: :: nervously tugs on loose thread from black vinyl shirt :: ::pocket falls off, SuperNose Tornado Trimmer clatters to floor, starts buzzing ::
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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-15-06, 03:47 AM (EST)
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37. "RE: The Bathroom's all Mine!" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-15-06 AT 03:49 AM (EST)*Glares at Kelly with newfound confidence* (Through clenched teeth) I'm not gone yet. I've been waiting to do this for a long time. *Kicks Kelly in the shin and runs like He!!* (Shouting over her shoulder) OKAY, NOW I'M GONE! 
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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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04-12-06, 04:48 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
My dear Andy,Tryink to make Fraulein Chriztie look like your dear mama vas zo endearink. That hairztyle did make me think of my dear Bridey Fraulein Bridey. I think you should have them add zome black and white highlightz die next time to make it even more beautiful. Good vork! 
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catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
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04-12-06, 06:30 PM (EST)
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21. "mr. basin is a little furry, kelly" |
whew. stan-the-man is finally gone, and i do believe you are trying to seduce me, miss kelly! no, don't take it like that, mr. bathroom is forever yours. i'll never tell anyone, teehee. believe me, after christanka, you are a bathroom's dream. ::shudders::
now, where did skinny-meany leave that flask? her bed tells me there is a much larger supply under him, so she won't miss a few sips, chugs, whatever the case may be. and you like bourbon, right? just stay away from the altoids, heh heh, altoids. not that you need any loosening up, my dear. no, the tighter wound you are, the more i sparkle and shine. so, enough talk, m'dear! get thee some scrubbery, and let your fingers do the walkin'. you know where i'll be....
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-13-06, 04:38 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: mr. basin is a little furry, kelly" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-13-06 AT 04:44 PM (EST)>whew. stan-the-man is finally gone, and i do believe you are trying to seduce me, miss kelly! :: sweats profusely under black vinyl shirt/white ribbed turtleneck combo:: :: squirms, fans front of shirt repeatedly :: :: straightens collar :: :: cleans fingernail with key :: :: massages stubble, discovers half a Sunbelt fruit bar there :: :: hides it from Jodi:: :: coughs, adjusts shirt:: :: returns to bathroom:: :: changes into polyester faux-suede shirt over polyester Levi shirt::
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kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-16-06, 04:27 AM (EST)
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42. "RE: mr. basin is a little furry, kelly" |
I'm back from group my darling bathroom. You are so beautiful. I could live with you forever. I don't know what they are talking about when they say I can't form relationships. You and I have the best relationship I've ever had. You listen to me and don't interupt. I've brought my bucket of supplies. I have 4 toothbrushes. Wait till I use the one with a pick on the end. *pulling out a Reach toothbrush* Your sink seems a little fuzzy. What is this? Wash it down the drain. That's what my mom told me. *kneeling on the floor using an Oral-B toothbrush* Bathroom, they don't appreciate me here. Everybody has projects to do. Every one has places to go. Maybe that means I'm ready to graduate. What's this? A black vinyl pocket. It's smells like Dr. Stan. He must be leaving me a message. *sigh* Everyone's out of the house so I'm going to take a nap before I give you a good cleaning my Sweet. I have lot's to tell you. We will be able to talk late into the night. I don't have to share you with anyone. *leans down and kisses the floor*
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-13-06, 10:17 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
Oooh, tee-hee, thank you so much, Dr. VantToLookJung! You know, I would have gone for the black and white highlights, but the stylists told me someone had robbed their salon the night before and -- get this -- stolen! the colors for that particular combo! And only those. That's the weirdest thing, huh. I tried to call Mom and tell her about it, but I got her voice mail, and then remembered she was out with you last night. Uh, wasn't she? ........................... Well, of course she was! ** mutters to self: Oh, boy, don't tell me Mom's at it again with the kleptomania... she'll do anything to hang on to that dated look of hers... why doesn't she just keep up that hairstyle the natural way and let me do some more ECT on her?! Sheesh! ** 
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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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04-12-06, 05:03 PM (EST)
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18. "Thank you, Andy..." |
You came through for me again! Your makeover of Lisa looked like it belonged on another planet was out of this world. The dippy lovely flip-up hairdo, the tacky, frumpy, and slutty sexy and hip dress, the awkward and unbalanced unique poise....all added up to a success for me our dear Lisa.Thank you for adhering to your contractual obligations to make me look good in comparison to any graduating woman. You do your job marvelously well. *pulls mirror out of purse, admires self* Mirror, mirror, in my hand, who is fairest in SO land? Well, dear Rhonda, right now you are the fairest, but watch out! When Dr. VantToLookJung is through with Bridey, you may have some fierce competition. *aside to assistant* Shirley, take a memo...ask Dr. Stan to arrange some more electric shock treatments to Andy's mother, as she may interfere with my stardom. *looks back into mirror* I love me, I love me, I love me...*tiny tear dribbles down plastic cheek* 
Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-13-06, 09:53 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Thank you, Andy..." |
Oh, why you are ever so welcome, dearest RhonDog Rhonda. I just knew Lisa would look about 10 years older and like a real hag in that choppy snappy new 'do. Rhonda, I am so glad you took my advice and started the Botox. Jon Boy Mr. Murray has cut way back on his PanCake budget, thanks to those helpful little injections. And I don't care what anyone says, Jodi's plaster mask is certainly nowhere near as lovely as your plastic flawless face. Speaking of injections, my mother called me and said she had a special Botox forumula Dr. Vant has made up, especially for you. If you'll just meet the two of them out by the SO house gate at midnight tonight, they'll give it to you. Oh, and watch out for the vomit along the way. I also think Lisa dumped some more buckets of crap out there released some more of her burdens on her way out, so do be careful. Cheers and ta-ta for now, my darling friend!
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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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04-14-06, 02:20 AM (EST)
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33. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
Oh let me tell you I feel SOOoo special! I got my way and I could not be more thrilled about it. When Iyanla chewed my A$$ the day before BOR I thought I'd be stuck going to bed at 7:15 everynight and pouting until I had wrinkles (like Kelly) but thank you Rhonda for taking me under your wing..I'm so thankful to be your pet  They didn't need to drink anyways!..they were having too much fun and I was told they don't like it when we get along..they like DRAMA! Oh poor Kim..I felt bad about how we pinned the whole thing on her so I thought I should kiss up after YesLisa's graduation and tell her how beautiful she is aaahhhhh I think she fell for it!? Y'know we were all thinking that she was a hypocrite for drinking when she had the nerve to say Jeff had a drinking problem I mean WTF!? I'm a little surprised though cuz she seems to be handling it just fine..hmmmph go figure? Oh and my modeling gig WOW was that a chore. I've decided that it's too much work and it's not my life aspiration after all *phew* I'd rather sit on the couch anyday move forward aware of the beauty I have here and now forget about all that plastic surgery SO won't pay for..and that I can't afford The only thing I can figure out to do at his point in this house full of b!tches is smile for the camera and be sweet to Kim? I'm just so glad they're not making me go to any meetings anymore I mean all I needed was for the alcohol to be gone in the house..I don't need any stringent program of any sort!? No exercise program, no real diet, no rehab, no real anything except to get out of here before the whole world ends up hating me like the rest of them. 
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catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
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04-16-06, 01:42 AM (EST)
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40. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 10" |
oh, worry not, little christanka! your penicillin is still here, in mr. medicine cabinet! the injectable kind, too. i saw kim try to make a cocktail out of it, but pisstie caught her, told rhonda, and kim was sentenced to 12 hours in lisa1's jail cell. heh, the pool told me she got quite sauced, despite rhonda's effort, b/c she'd hidden yet another flask in the cell. oh, i can't wait to see ms. bitter's (eh, britten) sour punum, when she finds her pet, smashed.
this little niambi- if she cleans half as well as my kelly...purr...
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