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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 9"
Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-03-06, 09:26 PM (EST)
 
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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 9" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-04-06 AT 10:36 PM (EST)Whew.
Another "graduation."
Another Andy Paige crime against fashion makeover.
But at last, Lisa's gone. You gotta love social promotion. Kinda like the Dilbert Principle which we employ here at BMP. (Our difference: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage -- The Simple Life.) But then again, is anyone ever REALLY gone on this show? Nice to see Professional Graduation Attendee Jessica came back. And? We didn't have to pay her! 
ADMINISTRIVIA: THE ONE CHARACTER TO A CUSTOMER RULE IS WAIVED. If you'd like to play someone else who is not being played in addition to your character, let me know in the signup thread. In order for this game to continue, WE NEED HOUSEGUESTS, especially a Jodi, a Kelly, and a Bethany2. Thanks to Allison, Andy (and her mom), Cassie, Christie, Christina, Jill, Kim, and both Lisas for posting. And all you inanimate objects, fringe folk, and LCs are doing very well. Remember to use your sigs, or at least sign off as your characters. If you want to join in as a RECURRING character, please sign up in the signup thread before posting. That's where you'll find your sigs also. Remember, if you're unable to post as your character for a time, just send me a note to that effect. Otherwise, I can only assume you're uninterested, which isn't fair to someone who might want to play. Inanimate objects who wish to change to unclaimed HGs may do so in the signup thread. Do NOT post as a character that's been claimed. Thanks. You can post as ad hoc, one-time characters WITHOUT signing up. If you intend to reuse your character, please do sign up . . . thanks! And HAVE FUN! Non-players: THIS IS NOT A DISCUSSION THREAD. Discussion-type posts may be removed. BUT . . . You may address or ask questions of the role-players as their characters. E-mail or PM me with any problems. Based on various other "Be The . . ." games, created by (all hail) Angelfood.
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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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04-04-06, 01:04 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 9" |
Okay I'm getting mad! I'm SO young and didn't know any better but they've been graduating them without inviting me haven't they!? I just now figured this out WTF!? Iyanla never returns my calls anymore! I ran out of my ointment and she doesn't even care!!! I don't want to talk about her anymore ahem...My cameraman promised me he'd make all my dreams come true if Lisatwit ever graduated..well now I hear she DID and he won't return my calls WTF!? TJ AAaahhh we were BEST friends!..why hasn't she called me!? I can hear her talking about me!?..such gossip! Jessica is too busy ho'ing around lately and I told her I didn't want any part of it teehee..hasn't called me back since! Jill..well she's literally just TOO busy! Working those THREE awful hours a week..emailing her fellow posters..how could she EVER find the time to talk to me??? The last time I talked to Rhonda she asked me if I smelled tuna or turkey!? The next day I had a surprise complimentary GYN exam..mobile even..show up at my door! I'm so glad cuz I'm afraid of what it would have cost me to run all those tests after all these years..phew! I wonder if Rhonda ever got her recipe worked out? Oh well I'll talk to her soon cuz they said she would call me with my test results. Dr. Stan yoohoo where are you..oh that's right you're NEVER around..should be used to it..sorry hehe. 
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-04-06, 02:05 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 9" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-04-06 AT 02:05 PM (EST): : tugs on shirt cuffs : : : : straightens back : : : : checks fly : : Christina, I'm around. At Lisa's graduation. I made a joke, even. About Lisa's baby outfit. Ha. Ha. Ha. : : forces unconvincing grin : : : : massages Just for Men into cheek fur : : : : sucks on Hemp lollipop : : 
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-07-06, 04:09 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 9" |
:: watches close-circuit monitor of SO house from bed :::: tilts head as Kim falls under table :: :: fluffs pillow :: ::sets Sailor Moon alarm clock ::
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catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
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04-08-06, 03:10 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 9" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-08-06 AT 03:41 AM (EST)hoo boy, that skinny brunette! reeks of scrambled eggs and merlot. and the talking! it's nonstop! and she never makes sense. always something about someone else being mean. she's really living in '73, or whenever it was that she was dropped like a box of mangy puppies. i'm really starting to feel like a thai hooker around her, with the nonstop banging action. oh, and she has a little decanter hidden in the toilet tank. sh! don't tell rhonda....
oh, little pinched-face andy p. my my, how it pains me to reflect you. no, seriously. it causes me pain, the way your nose points, and your eyes squinch up like that. hell, i've seen raisins with more surface slack!
well, guess i'm waiting for the haggard one to come scrub me. the way she handles a toothbrush in my cracks! love it! and with the way skinny brunette is blowing chunks, looks like i'm going to get a scrubbing that will change my life!
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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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04-08-06, 06:11 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 9" |
Oh mr. cameraman thank you thank you thank you! You made me feel SOOooo good last week! I've never felt more comfortable with my body. I even stripped down to my bra and panties in front of you err I mean the Doctor..OMG forgot I was on national tv for a moment there lol. Oh well it's all good cuz you helped me feel beautiful again. Why did they send me to that appointment? I don't have the money to get the work done even if I wanted to *sigh* that was just plain mean!I am still SOOooo pissed off at the girls! They all signed a contract to support me and what do they do!? Yep they go and get wasted..and in MY house WTF!? I know I told them it was okay to have alcohol in the house and asked that they don't even worry about hiding it from me..but THE NERVE to actually go ahead and drink anyways!!!?? Oh when Jodi held me to her bosom I truly felt her support..she feels so bad just like she should! I could still smell the alcohol from her pores but it was kinda nice. Kim got the drunkest so it's all her fault..how dare she come in MY room after getting that plastered!? Well I showed her HA now we'll see if Kim can stop drinking bwahahahaha..after all if I have to quit so should everybody else..and I shouldn't have to ASK for them to do it either. Lisa now that you're graduating you're just SOoo full of knowledge..now that you think you know it ALL will you tell Jodi she needs some hygiene wash..she could really use the tip PU from across a crowded room. I know since I said so..you will agree. 
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catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
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04-08-06, 11:33 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 9" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-08-06 AT 11:39 PM (EST)oh, namby-pamby-andy- i must admit, mr. mirror and i had a good chuckle (at your expense, of course!), after that reality comment. darling, your reality is less believable than a game of candyland with michael jackson! btw, i hear he's looking for a new style...maybe give him a jingle?
oh, kim...i love our little talks in the wee hours, just you, me, and your flask. but seriously, next time you accost buddha with your spew, or any other object for that matter (i hear the swimming pool and the living room carpet are PISSED, missy), try to aim away. that way, the next time iyanla has nulisa flinging buckets of goop all over, she can hose it down for you. which also means, don't start retching ouside, and trail your bony butt into me! you have no idea how hard it is to clean dried vomit with a toothbrush, especially when it gets waaay under mr. toilet's rim. he really doesn't like that. makes him itchy. and after xxxtina used him that time (ha! used him!), he's been a whole 'nother kinda of itchy, wink wink.
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trikelady 82 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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04-11-06, 03:05 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 9" |
If Mr. Toilet's rim is crusted in puke it is not from me! Maybe you haven't been cleaned in a loooonnnng time. I only use Kelly's bathroom for the lighting and of course to hide my bottle in the tank. Which I will remove. As for the late night talks...never happened. Maybe you are imagining things or are on vicodin and booze yourself? Check with the other HG's about the puke in the pool and on the carpet because it was not I! For a filthy stationary object you sure get around a lot. For your sake I hope Jodi or Kelly decide to clean your filthy bowl! It is very disgusting just to go in there to use the mirror, or you can stay filthy for all I care and so you know I won't be using Kelly's pigsty of a bathroom anymore! BTW some "WORKS" down your throat would really change your attitude, look and SMELL! Maybe we could get Lisapuke to give you a make over. I also hope Jodi goes out and eats some nasty Mexican food and then heads your way to dump her crap right down your throat as I know how much you love sh!t. I said what I had to say and now I will go and enjoy my wonderful day while you're stuck in a filthy, smelly bathroom...enjoy!
p.s. maybe you need a LC to deal with YOUR issues!
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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-08-06, 11:59 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 9" |
Jonny, Jonny, Jonny. You are so not making this work without me.You don't EVEN think it was MY idea to have unlimited booze in the house, do you? Or all the cupcakes and Ding Dongs the chunky mamas HGs can eat? I can't do the shopping for them. I have no shape or form, remember? And what do you have this beautiful pool for? Hell, if you had known no one was going to use it, we should never have left Chicago. Or at least gotten a place in, say, Redlands instead. Next to this mess, The Scholar? Looks like a Ken Burns documentary. 
Don't say I didn't warn you.
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catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
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04-09-06, 03:53 AM (EST)
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17. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 9" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-09-06 AT 04:02 AM (EST)oh, namby-pamby-andy- i must admit, mr. mirror (who SPARKLES! thanks to WINDEX WITH VINEGAR!) and i had a good chuckle (at your expense, of course!), after that reality comment. darling, your reality is less believable than a game of (Milton Bradley's) candyland with michael jackson! btw, i hear he's looking for a new style...maybe give him a jingle (and with VONAGE, all your local calls are free! just 24.99 a month!)?
oh, kim...i love our little talks in the wee hours, just you, me, and your flask (since the WEDGEWOOD decanter was burned in that horrible suitcase fire). but seriously, next time you accost buddha with your spew, or any other object for that matter (i hear the swimming pool and the living room carpet are PISSED, missy), try to aim away (because our new HAYWOOD pool vac is now all clogged, and there is only so much OXY CLEAN in the world, y'know?). that way, the next time iyanla has nulisa flinging buckets of goop all over, she can hose it down for you. which also means, don't start retching ouside, and trail your bony butt (thanks to TAE BO and MARLBORO LIGHTS!) into me! you have no idea how hard it is to clean dried vomit with a (REACH) toothbrush, especially when it gets waaay under mr. toilet's rim. he really doesn't like that. makes him itchy. and after xxxtina used him that time (ha! used him!), he's been a whole 'nother kinda of itchy (but not so much now, thanks to, well, that would be going too far), wink wink. p.s.-make sure to tell whoever is in charge around here....BON AMI! NOT AJAX OR COMET! nothing's too good for my basin!
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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04-09-06, 06:35 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 9" |
What is all the confusion about Miss Jodi and her toucy-feely-groping self? I've had complaints about ladies walking into a room when Miss Jodi is "supportin'" a housemate, and they feel like they're interruptin' somethin'. This house ain't big enough for two mother earth types...and I ain't movin'. You ain't a LifeCoach, Miss Jodi. You haven't had the weeks of trainin' it takes to be a LifeCoach. The best you can hope for is bein' promoted to mentor. But all that means is we've run out of things to do with you, but we can't put another woman in your place because it is too close to the end of the season.By the way, I want you to go on a weekend retreat for your next assignment. You'll be goin' with someone I think suits you well...you may remember him. Benedict, that really good lookin' piece of man from your speed datin' assignment. So, on Friday at 5:00 PM, a car will take you to "The Last Chapter Nursin' Home" where you will catch Benedict's dinner theatre show. He'll be playin' his snare drum while singin' the big band hits of the 40's. After the show, you two will share an intimate, complimentary candlelit dinner in the second floor cafeteria, and you'll dine on creamed corn, mashed potatoes, and pureed salisbury steak with margarine. After the show, you'll be whisked away in Benedict's 1981 Cadillac El Dorado and you'll be the guests of "Muy Caliente Motel & Bowling Alley". Cable TV and Air-conditionin' are included in the package. Anyone else want to try and be a LifeCoach?
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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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04-09-06, 07:20 PM (EST)
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20. "Botox anyone?" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-09-06 AT 09:10 PM (EST)Ach, haz you zeen die beautiful vay ze Botox iz vorkink on Fraulein Rhonda now? Vonce she got over die terrible accident, her faze came out very nizely. Thoze perky eyebrowz are zo cute! I haz been doink much vork on Frau Andy. If she doez not agree to my...um...buzinezz relationship vith her mama, I may be forzed to have a little, um, zlip of die fingerz. Oh, Herr Murray, I haz a vonderful idea for a graduation gift for die could-be-lovely Mizz Kelly. I zo think that a zeriez of Botox injectionz could make her ZO much more beautiful. But I vill only do it if she vearz the ztraitjacket. That one iz a fighter! Eef you vould like, Herr Murray, I am developing an egzperimental zurgery that could reduze your head zize. Right now I am egzperimentink on Herr Donald Trump. But that iz not vorkink out, becauze I cannot fit hiz head in my clinic. But I do believe you vould do nizely...and I think that Fraulein Rhonda vould be ZO turned on! *vink vink* 
Oh, Fraulein Andy'z Mom, vould you meet me tonight? Ve need to egzperiment in my lab....
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catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
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04-09-06, 08:02 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Botox anyone?" |
::break for commercial::feelin's a bit low? need a social lubricant? well, look no further than KIM'S LIQUOR MART! we've got it all, from beer to cristal, ponies to 40's, let KIM'S LIQUOR MART handle all your confidenceless moments! you're sure to be PISSED with JOY! located on the corner of "owning my fear" and "standing in the mess." now, back to the show! yes, doc, i do think the haggard one could use a bit o'botox. this is la, after all, and no one here gets out alive, er, grows old gracefully. you could do it here! there is a nice stash of vicodin in my medicine cabinet. although, i don't quite recall which hg left it...and, it's in an altoids tin, so no one ever suspects.
today, that jodi came in and, hoo-boy, i thought cabbage was bad. the fridge told me she completely blew through a box of ding dongs, some leftover coconut shrimp (i think that's what di it), a bagel, and some bean dip, that i'm told by the kitchen, she ate from her fingers, straight from the can. she washed it all down with a big gulp diet coke, because that's where the real calories are. after she left me in a funk, she went to her room, and was last heard to be avoiding that nice nutritionist. then, she made out with alex.
PISSED-THE FEELING MADE BY MISS CHRISTIE.
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-09-06, 08:49 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Botox anyone?" |
You bet your little boots, Dr. Vant! I'd be happy to egzperiment with you any old time. Only, keep your Botox to yourself, honey child, because as you can see, I don't need it. My lovely gray temple highlights also function as face tighteners. Now on the other hand, my little Andy could use a Botox-brush up. I say we tie her down and tighten up her eyebrows, even though she doesn't appear to need it. But maybe we can stun her into dropping those danged tweezers she's so attached to. She's a regular Edward Scissorhands with those things! Thinks everybody has to rid themselves of errant facial hair. Man, she'd have a field day with Dr. Stan, huh! Of course, it'd take more than tweezers to get through even the smallest part of that chin stubble of his -- maybe some heavy-duty Husqvarna hedge trimmers? You, on the other hand, Dr., are a regular cute-patootey with that little bald head of yours! Fondly, Bridey 
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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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04-09-06, 09:21 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Botox anyone?" |
Ach, Fraulein Bridey, I am zo...how you say...egzited to get my gifted hands on your templez. No, no Botox for you, dear...you are zo beautiful already. I vill just make zome additionz to enhance your beauty. Zo much room for art on that lovely forehead!But tonight, I just need to get a good feel for you, my dear, zo I know how to prozeed next. Und I vant you to feel die healing artiztic power in my gifted handz. I'll meet you in my lab in an hour. From your cutey-patootey *tee hee!*
I had Fraulein Rhonda help me pick zomethink out for tonight..she said it vould drive die ladies vild. It iz called a Zpeedo, I think. You like?
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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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04-09-06, 07:33 PM (EST)
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21. "Um, O Great BM..." |
LAST EDITED ON 04-09-06 AT 07:35 PM (EST)I have fulfilled my part of the um, bargain....As you can see, that little Lisa##ittwit DID graduate. I forced myself to go to her pukey fuschia apartment and eat her toxic food and listen to her whine once again...I have been ill with food poisoning for a week now! But I am finally getting better and ready to resume my normal duties...*wink wink* Oh, drat, I forgot that my face is too tight to do that wink thing anymore. I just hope she is now gone for GOOD. I made sure that all her "friends" who testified on her behalf got their generous royalty checks. That was tricky, the way you had them edit out the room of the apartment that is a shrine to Mr. Internet. I ran screaming when there were pictures wall-to-wall of the not-so-attractive man, and love emails strewn about the floor, and daisies with all the petals pulled off...she never could get one to come out to say, "He loves me." But I let it go, as she did ASSURE me that he really was just a thing of the past, and that was all BEFORE she went home, and she just didn't have time to clean it up, what with all that painting and all, and that part-time job...how was she to get her 18 hours of sleep a day? 
Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.
I will be expecting my, um, reward now...shall we have a private seminar, on, say, letting go of the past?
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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