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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-20-06, 11:10 AM (EST)
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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
(Rule change ahead! Please read the fine print.)

Nestled in a lodge on the shores of Lake Tahoe.

Nice bit of skiing today. Rhonda sure looks cute in that pink snowsuit. And I can't wait to join her in the hot tub, where Speedos are most optional. Just waiting for her to get through her mirror exercises, which she started five hours ago.

Why are we here again? Oh, yeah, the show! I like the money-saving tactics like bringing in houseguests' mothers and former HGs. Now we need to start hauling in reality retreads from elsewhere.

*calls office*

Yeah, do we have Amber's number anywhere?


I draw the line at Janice Dickinson.

ADMINISTRIVIA:

To spur the dialogue even further, THE ONE CHARACTER TO A CUSTOMER RULE IS WAIVED. If you'd like to play someone else in addition to your character, let me know in the signup thread.

We still need a Christie (she unfortunately had to bow out), a Melinda, and a Jessica, for three. Also, the Universe seems to be off in her own.

Remember to use your sigs, or at least sign off as your characters.

If you want to join in as a RECURRING character, please sign up in the signup thread before posting. That's where you'll find your sigs also.

Remember, if you're unable to post as your character for a time, just send me a note to that effect. Otherwise, I can only assume you're uninterested, which isn't fair to someone who might want to play. (TJ and Jodi are still around, but have to post less frequently.)

Inanimate objects who wish to change to unclaimed HGs may do so in the signup thread. But we welcome new ones of those too (and they've been hilarious!).

Do NOT post as a character that's been claimed. Thanks.

You can post as ad hoc, one-time characters WITHOUT signing up. If you intend to reuse your character, please do sign up . . . thanks!

And HAVE FUN!

Non-players: THIS IS NOT A DISCUSSION THREAD. Discussion-type posts may be removed. BUT . . . You may address or ask questions of the role-players as their characters.

E-mail or PM me with any problems.

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... JavaT 03-20-06 1
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Cygnus X1 03-20-06 2
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-20-06 3
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... JavaT 03-21-06 7
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... JavaT 03-21-06 8
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-20-06 4
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Cygnus X1 03-20-06 5
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... GuyStartingOver 03-20-06 6
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-22-06 19
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Cygnus X1 03-21-06 11
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-22-06 20
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... susan765 03-21-06 9
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Cygnus X1 03-21-06 10
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... susan765 03-21-06 13
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... sharnina 03-21-06 12
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... lovemydogdude 03-21-06 14
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... trikelady 03-21-06 15
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-22-06 21
               RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... shelley_sargent 03-24-06 41
                   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... trikelady 03-25-06 43
                   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... trikelady 03-25-06 44
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... sharnina 03-22-06 16
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... sharnina 03-22-06 17
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... sharnina 03-22-06 18
 Attention, ladies! Burning tonight... Sahara 03-22-06 22
   RE: Attention, ladies! Burning ton... sharnina 03-22-06 23
   RE: Attention, ladies! Burning ton... sharnina 03-22-06 29
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... susan765 03-22-06 24
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... sharnina 03-22-06 25
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... sharnina 03-22-06 26
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... sharnina 03-22-06 27
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... sharnina 03-22-06 28
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... justfionablue 03-23-06 30
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... JavaT 03-23-06 31
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... pinksparkleguitar 03-23-06 32
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... justfionablue 03-23-06 33
   I thinks I can help... Sahara 03-23-06 35
       RE: I thinks I can help... JavaT 03-24-06 39
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... trikelady 03-25-06 45
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... sharnina 03-23-06 34
 IYANLA!!! IYANLA!!!! Sahara 03-23-06 36
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... lovemydogdude 03-24-06 37
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... JavaT 03-24-06 38
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... BlowingOver 03-24-06 40
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... justfionablue 03-25-06 42
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... trikelady 03-25-06 46
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Ingenue1983 03-26-06 47
               RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... trikelady 03-26-06 48
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... BlowingOver 03-27-06 49
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... BlowingOver 03-27-06 50

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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
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03-20-06, 11:49 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Jonny Boy, oh dearest Jonny Boy... why must you tease me so, with your imagery of that Botoxed, bleached-blonde skank? Wait, I get it -- you're only doing this for the benefit of the viewers. Of course they'd like to fantasize about you and RhonDog getting it on, more so than you and me -- even though I'm so much more tantalizing. And multi-faceted: Rhonda is just one woman, whereas I'm made up of so many more fascinating personalities albeit surgically. But -- sigh -- I suppose we must remember the upcoming May sweeps, and I'm just the new kid on the block.

Alas, we are to be star-crossed lovers, much the same as Romeo and Juliet, n'est-ce pas?! I can handle that. And I don't mind your stinky Speedos at all.


You'll clutch more than your pearls after a night with me, Jon Boy!

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-20-06, 12:20 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
LAST EDITED ON 03-21-06 AT 02:37 PM (EST)

Look, hon, next time I want to do a reality show based on the 20s movie "Metropolis", you'll be the first one I call.


I hear "The Surreal Life 7" is casting.
ETA: And I'm all out of N'est-ce pas. Just Hershey's.

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
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03-20-06, 04:07 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Ach, Fraulein (or iz it Frau?) Andy'z Mom, I zink I could be of help to you. You haz zuch a nice big face to vork vith. I could have you puttink your daughter to shame. Ist dat gud?

Und don't vorry about Herr Murray. You can have a much better time vith me...I juzt love doink science experimentz!

Vant to come up und zee my zketch-book? I have nozez, breaztz, you name it!

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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
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03-21-06, 07:31 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Oooh, Dr. Vant, how you talk, hee hee hee! You make me feel positively ghoulish... er, I mean, girlish! Just between you and me, I think we could easily put my daughter to shame. Those eyebrows of hers are a shame to begin with.


Your place or mine, big boy!

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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
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03-21-06, 07:51 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
I must apologize to everyone for the actions of my socially-inept mother. It seems she's been, er, out of the loop, so to speak, for some time now, and doesn't remember how to comport herself in the public eye. Eyebrow. Eyebrows. Plucking. Tweezing. Must do soon. Need to pluck! Need to tweeze! AAAAIIIIEEEE!

<shakes head; comes back to reality> Anyway, please forgive Mom for her outrageous flirting. If you'll all just indulge her a bit, I'm sure she'll start to behave.

BTW, Mom, I know you're still mad at me for that "Frankenstein shoe" crack I made on my Stink of Style Web site, but hey, it was the only reference point I could think of to demonstrate clunkiness. I've offered a million times to take you to my Beauty Boot Camp, but you don't want seem to want to tear yourself away from that nasty habit of shocking yourself with your flat iron. It's unnerving and makes my perfect, blemish-free porcelain skin crawl.

Anyway, suit yourself; just stop pestering these men. I'm sure they'd rather have me flirting with them, anyway.

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
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03-20-06, 05:21 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Oh, Jonny, oh...oops, forgot we might have an audience. Excuse me. *straightens mussed stringy hair* *checks face in mirror(s)*

I am so glad you love my pink snowsuit. It really sets the atmosphere for discussing show ideas, does it not? And the ski slope is like our life's journeys. We must let go of the past and of our expectations and trust in ourselves to let it loose to the bottom of the slope. *poses in several positions for camera*

I am through with my mirror exercises now. You don't have fifty cents I can borrow, do you?

Well, onward to "business". I am so glad that you are rid of those stinky Speedos! The hot tub is the perfect place to discuss how we can liven up the show. We work the best when we are our authentic selves. *giggle*

I was thinking that it may be interesting to have Sue Hawk come in to help Kelly learn how to release her anger. Or Omarosa could liven things up a bit. Or maybe the Godlewski sisters from The Amazing Race...wouldn't it be interesting to have four sisters on the show? I am sure sparks would fly like they did with Kim and Melinda. But then, we would have to sell special Starting Over earplugs.


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

Who is Janice Dickinson? I normally only watch myself on tv...

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-20-06, 09:02 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Who is Janice Dickinson? You DON'T want to know.


Even Allison almost seems normal next to her.

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GuyStartingOver 79 desperate attention whore postings
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03-20-06, 10:10 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Ah yes, Allison. Kind of an obnoxious girl, had a hand fetish. I suppose maybe I should not have indulged or encouraged it with the photocopy at her graduation. I think that Iyanla did her a major disservice by not doing more to get at the REAL problem -- I think it has something to do with her mother punishing her by burning her hands with a scorching hot iron. And if she was really bad, I suspect that she probably punished her by shoving bamboo shoots under her fingernails. Thus, sadly, began her infatuation with hands. I, naturally, was born with perfect hands, and I maintain them in a hyperbaric chamber saturated with high levels of oxygen when I'm not on camera. My sharp mind and - shall we say - family gifts are also benefitting. It's not everyone who can have five kids of their own, let alone five PERFECT kids like mine. And you should see their hands!

That "urban legend" about what the size of your hands means? No legend. Check out the size of THIS grip.

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
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03-22-06, 07:11 AM (EST)
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19. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Oh, Dr. Stan, the front door is spreading terrible rumors about us! *sob* *sob* I know that you have been giving me extra therapy sessions after my, um, Botox incident, but that is all it is!

Plus, now that you are back, I don't have to share my mirror with the ladies anymore. Oh, and it did feel good when you laid your hands on my face...I feel sure that was integral to my healing.

But what can we do about these vicious, nasty rumors? With your perfect wife and children, this can't be good for your reputation, and I only fool around with negotiate with one person at a time.


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-21-06, 04:50 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
*adjusts the jets, plays footsy*

Sweetie, I lvoe the idea of the SO Earplugs! Anything that generates revenue is okay in my book. (Why do you think I offed the web staff?)

Let's review your future retread HG suggestions one by one.

Sue Hawk. Definitely has the SO look about her, and is the right age. But I'm not sure she's gonna want to be seen by a smaller different audience. And next thing you know, Jainu, Jenna, and Osten will all want to be on. You think Stan will want us to reward failure? . . . ehhh, we do it all the time.

She Who Must Not Be Hired (gotta remember never to call her by name! It gives me a rash). She could be the one who gets everyone to forget they ever saw Allison. But knowing her, she'd probably demand co-EP credit.

The Whatdidwedotodeservebeinginthishouselewskis. Drama to the max, to be sure. They will make the earplugs most necessary. Why not have an exercise where they have to put underpants over pants over underpants?


I'm so glad you didn't say Jerkathon or Victimia.

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
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03-22-06, 07:17 AM (EST)
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20. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Jerkathon and Victimia...some things are even too sleazy for the Starting Over house, aren't they?

Danged alarm! Shoot, I wish we had another day here. Oh, well, I must get in some more camera time. *sigh*


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

*squeal* Oops, put the quarters in the bed instead of the mirror...*giggle*

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susan765 166 desperate attention whore postings
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03-21-06, 02:21 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Tues. in the car:

Christie driving to meet Rhonda:

What's this I hear about Her mother coming? Tell me it isn't so! The women keep saying she's just like her mother. I don't know if I can take it. The heavy metal hair bands, crumbs every where, vodka in water bottles, and the moaning! At least today she was alone and I didn't have to hear her all the time, if you don't count the 10 messages to Justin begging him to call her. Now this Elaine woman's coming. I'll reek of meth! You know Jon boy that will bring down the resale value when this season ends. Not good for the bottom line. Already you have to give me a really good detailing to get the Jodi and Christina stains out.

playing on the radio:
Smoke The Sky
Motley Crue

Smoke my hoochie
You say that I'm the devil
Reali T.H.C.
Marco Polo hailed it heaven
Socrates inhaled it too
Mr. Whitehouse.......tell the truth

You're the great exaggerator's
Since 1932
Telling evils of the reefer
But all thru time we've
Smoked the sky

Home grown vision
Compliments the senses
Opens up my mind
J.F.K. sold us freedom
Or was it just a business talk
Went up in smoke

He was the great seducer
Crawling from our T.V.s
Breathed hope in our future
And before he died he
Smoked the sky

B.C. hailed it heaven
I inhaled it too
Reali T.H.C.
When it's time we


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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-21-06, 02:32 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
You are a fleeced leased vehicle, aren't you?


Ack. I think we're gonna get penalized for too many miles.

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susan765 166 desperate attention whore postings
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03-21-06, 06:18 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
What the F*** do you mean I'm leased? That was not the deal. I've been lied to, I've been betrayed. The dealer said I was being sold. I was supposed to be with you forever. Now your just going to drop me off like scrap metal to who knows what? What if I go to auction? What then? I've put up with too much to be turned loose on the mean streets of LA. I've dealt with the drunk driving, the cat fights, the yelling, the strange potions and the stranger sex acts. Now your just going to dump me after my shocks have spent the best of their youth ferring around Jill and Allison and all the other Big bold women. You drove me off the lot and now I'm ruined and abandoned!

I demand a repeat visit to the starting over house! I have booze, abuse, self esteem and abandonment issues to deal with!

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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03-21-06, 06:12 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Posting as SO's Front Door;

Conversation overheard between Dr. Stan and Rhonda just before entering the house for group.

http://161.58.5.90/youngf/knockers.wav
Borrowed from Young Frankenstein

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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings
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03-21-06, 06:25 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
UHhhh! She did Dr. Stan too!? WTF!? He told me he would NEVER do her!!! Mr. CamerMAN TOLD me he would do that!..what a #@%&*!!

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trikelady 82 desperate attention whore postings
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03-21-06, 09:58 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Anybody remember Buddha looking for his pinky? I'm going to suggest he look up what is left of his nose, his left nostril is like uh... GONE!... and he's worried about his pinky? Dude your freaking nose is GONE! Maybe you picked it off or maybe the speedos finally got ya. Who knows... By the way, what happen to your right eye brow? Kelly, Kim or Lisa take it. WTF? Good grief Bud get with the program and make this place look good like I do! Any of you other roses out here with me on this? Oh I need a drink and some shade!!!Will someone please water me? Today?
love ya mean it BOTOX PUSS...I mean Buddha ;)

Signed,

The ROSE

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
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03-22-06, 07:20 AM (EST)
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21. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Don't worry, I'm sure Allison will "water" you soon, dear. You will forget all about Buddha's nose...


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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shelley_sargent 73 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-06, 11:46 PM (EST)
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41. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
***sobbing and crying, coincidentally all tears fall on rose***

"It isnt fair! They kicked me out of my room in SO house to turn it into an "Anger Room" for stupid kim. Why the hell does she get all the good stuff, first she gets to use everyone elses bathrooms and now she stole my thunder, I mean, my room!
That ##$^%$^%&^%^*^&*!!!!!

***continues sobbing***

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trikelady 82 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-06, 03:52 PM (EST)
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43. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
LAST EDITED ON 03-25-06 AT 10:37 PM (EST)


>
>"It isnt fair! They kicked me
>out of my room in
>SO house to turn it
>into an "Anger Room" for
>stupid kim. Why the hell
>does she get all the
>good stuff, first she gets
>to use everyone elses bathrooms
>and now she stole my
>thunder, I mean, my room!
>
>That ##$^%$^%&^%^*^&*!!!!!
>
>***continues sobbing***
>
DUH! Allison! I'm special! It's all about me. I can do as I please when I please. I can use any bathroom in the house I want. To bad for you that it bothers you but it's your problem deal with it b!tch. By the way are you the one who left the 100+ empty wine bottles under the bed? Is it Allison? OR Alkieson? Blah, Blah, Blah

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trikelady 82 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-06, 10:09 PM (EST)
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44. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Hey Alkieson layoff with the alcohol & salty tears! I need real water. You're killing me here. Wanna cry on something go cry your tears on "I don't have a nose Buddha".
The Rose Bush
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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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03-22-06, 03:11 AM (EST)
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16. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Posting as the SO Front Door

Dr. Stan on the phone with his wife just before meeting Lisa about her anger issues.

http://161.58.5.90/youngf/working!.wav
Borrowed from Young Frankenstein

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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03-22-06, 03:15 AM (EST)
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17. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
LAST EDITED ON 03-22-06 AT 03:17 AM (EST)

SO Front Door

This is a conversation I heard between Rhonda and Jon-boy when he was visiting the SO house to see how things were going.

http://161.58.5.90/animal/legsbrok.wav

and

http://161.58.5.90/animal/dblsecrt.wav

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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03-22-06, 03:31 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
SO Front Door

Overheard Melinda telling Rhonda how she thought Kim's party should be.

http://161.58.5.90/weird/sexdrugs.wav

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-22-06, 07:32 AM (EST)
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22. "Attention, ladies! Burning tonight!"
All right, ladies, do you need to open doors in your life? Doors called "intimacy", "authenticism", "vulnerability"? These doors could be standing between you and your future. We need to be empowered and free ourselves of these doors. (Um, Christina, no, dear, we know you have no barriers up at all.)

Everybody take a marker and write on the front door all the doors that are standing in your way. At 7 p.m., we shall meet and to free us of this, we will burn the front door. I believe it is necessary for your healing, ladies!


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.
SOMETHING must be done about that door. Remember, DON'T CROSS RHONDA!!!!

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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03-22-06, 12:24 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Attention, ladies! Burning tonight!"
LAST EDITED ON 03-23-06 AT 04:04 AM (EST)

SO Front Door

Rhonda, you can run but you can't hide. You know those portraits in Harry Potter - well they're my cousins and we share that interesting trait of being able to move from place to place. I live in all the doors ---Mwahhhhaaaaahhaaaa!

Have a fearless day.

Convo between Rhonda and Iyanla.

http://161.58.5.90/jerry/3lovers.wav

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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03-22-06, 11:16 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Attention, ladies! Burning tonight!"
All right, ladies, do you need to open doors in your life? Doors called "intimacy", "authenticism", "vulnerability"? These doorscould be standing between you and your future. We need to be empowered and free ourselves of these doors. (Um, Christina, no, dear, we know you have no barriers up at all.)

Everybody take a marker and write on the front door all the doors that are standing in your way. At 7 p.m., we shall meet and to free us of this, we will burn thefront door. I believe it is necessary for your healing, ladies!


Be fearless, but be fearfulof ME.
SOMETHING must be done about that door. Remember, DON'T CROSS RHONDA!!!!


Okay, soo...uhhh..yeeesss.... I spent time writing on the door today in between writing down what my housemates were telling me for reasons to let my egg go..... and they are all sooo riiiiight.....

soooo... I'm out here waiting for Rhonda to see what we are going to sacrifie burn tonight on the road to healing and removing barriers. Something about the front door..... Rhonda is sooo smart she MUST have a good reason for burning the door..... Where is everybody?

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susan765 166 desperate attention whore postings
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03-22-06, 03:08 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Wed. in the car:

Jodi driving to the park:

Look I know you meant well and tried to solve the problem by sending a female camera person but that woman can sweet talk any one. I think it's her voice sometimes it puts me on auto piliot just listening to her talk.
She drove me to a run down part of the park and went hog wild on the woman. Maybe she was just curious after hearing about the camera man? I think you need a new rule for Jodi. Please, Please make sure she only travels with two or more people.
Maybe she can have access to the guest room for her "Needs"?

playing on the radio:
GEORGE MICHAEL lyrics - "Father Figure"

That's All I Wanted
Something special, something sacred -
In your eyes
For just one moment
To be bold and naked
At your side

Sometimes i think that you'll never
Understand me
Maybe this time is forever..
Say it can be

That's all you wanted
Something special, someone sacred -
In your life
Just for one moment
To be warm and naked
At my side

Sometimes i think that you'll never
Understand me
But something tells me together
We'd be happy

(baby)
I will be your father figure
(oh baby)
Put your tiny hand in mine
(i'd love to)
I will be your preacher teacher
(be your daddy)
Anything you have in mind
(it would make me)
I will be your father figure
(very happy)
I have had enough of crime
(please let me)
I will be the one who loves you -
Until the end of time

That's all i wanted
But sometimes love can be mistaken
For a crime
That'sail i wanted
Just to see my baby's
Blue eyed shine
This time i think that my lover
Understands me
If we have faith in each other
Then we can be
Strong

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who toves you
Until the end of time

If you are the desert
I'll be the sea
If you ever hunger -
Hunger for me
Whatever you ask for
That's what i'll be. .

So when you remember the ones who have lied
Who said that they cared
But then laughed as you cried
Beautiful darling
Don't think of me

Because all i ever wanted
It's in your eyes baby, baby
And love can't lie. No...
(greet me with the eyes of a child)
(heaven is a kiss and a smile)
Just hold on, hold on
I won't let you go, my baby

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
Will be your father figure
Have had enough of crime
So i am gonna love you)
Until the end of time
Will be your father
Will be your preacher
'Ii be your daddy
Will be the one who loves you until the end of time


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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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03-22-06, 05:50 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
SO Front Door

The other day I was moseying around the house from door to door and as I passed through the back door I overheard Iyanla out by the fire place.

http://161.58.5.90/youngf/alive.wav

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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03-22-06, 05:55 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
SO Front Door

Conversation between Rhonda and Jon-boy.

http://www.moviesounds.com/wagdog/polish.wav

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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03-22-06, 05:58 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
LAST EDITED ON 03-23-06 AT 04:07 AM (EST)

SO Front Door

You know how everybody has been wondering if Kelly is hiding something - well, I still don't know what it is but it must be bad because I overheard this conversation between her and Dr. Stan - doctor/patient confidentiality and all that.

http://www.moviesounds.com/wagdog/killya.wav

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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03-22-06, 06:15 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
SO Front Door

Comment made by Maureen when she heard LisaPuke might be coming back soon.

http://www.moviesounds.com/dragnet/pukebag.wav

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justfionablue 62 desperate attention whore postings
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03-23-06, 09:49 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
*neighbor talking to friend on phone*

Yes! It's really bad. There is something strange going on over there all the time. Today when I was in the back yard spying through the fence, er, pruning my rose bushes, there was a terrible cat fight...lots of yelling and screaming. It sounded like a bad street fight. The blond woman with the plastic face was standing by squealing "Feel your jealousy! That's it! Be present with your anger!" and that scruffy guy with the HUGE hands was yelling "Easy on the hair pulling ladies!" Those girls were really going at it. It was awful!


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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
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03-23-06, 11:35 AM (EST)
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31. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Huge hands, you say? Hmmm... I love huge hands, the huger the better! My ex-husband had huge hands. I think one came from a retired NBA star and the other was stolen er, donated by a professional wrestler.

I'd like to see this guy with the huge hands. If he currently hangs out with blondes with plastic faces, I'm sure he'd enjoy a departure from the norm with a real woman like me. Also, my current 'do doesn't allow anyone to pull my hair.

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pinksparkleguitar 1222 desperate attention whore postings
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03-23-06, 11:36 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
LAST EDITED ON 03-23-06 AT 01:10 PM (EST)

Buddha would like to thank the lovely and wonderful Rhonda for rescuing me when she was coming back from her vacation. Now that I am back in my rightful place in the garden, I feel much better . . . except for this one dried up, ugly colored rose that keeps trying to get closer to me.

Rhonda, thank you for our lovely talk about my pinky, my nose, other parts of me that are not whole. I now know that I must live fearlessly and not worry about those parts that other people see as ugly, because I think I am beautiful.

Now . . .as for your man problems . . . .I say stick with what you know, and that's John Boy. Stan had amazing hands, yes, but he doesn kind of look like Dennis Miller . . .

Buddha would like to also say that if Cassie comes near me I am taking off, due to the little problem we had last time she was here of her trying to make me into a 'bobble-head' Buddha . . .

Peace be with you.

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justfionablue 62 desperate attention whore postings
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03-23-06, 12:19 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
*neighbor peeking through back fence*

Hmmmmm. That Garden Buddha sure looks a lot like the one we used to have...except that this one seems to have closed eyes.

I wonder if I should call Mr. Murray and ask him about it. But the last time I called he seemed very distracted. There was a female voice giggling in the background and I don't think he was really listening.


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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
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03-23-06, 08:47 PM (EST)
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35. "I thinks I can help..."
Herr Buddha, if you vould like to feel better about yourzelf, I vould be glad to help you (for a zmall fee). All I vould ask iz for you to azk die Univerze to brink me die perfect experiment. I think Fraulein Andy'z Mom vould do very nicely, but she iz havink a problem because her daughter iz a very vain und jealouz voman. I could vork on her, und then ve could vork together...*stares off in dreamlike state* Ach! I muzt pay attention, zorry!

I could help you to resculpt your faze, and your pinky, and give you that lovely zmooth zement glow like Fraulein Rhonda haz. A little zurgery, a little Botox...you could look 1,400 years younger!



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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-06, 06:51 AM (EST)
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39. "RE: I thinks I can help..."
Well, a-woohoo there, Doc! You can work on me any time you like, Big Boy -- er, Little Boy -- I mean, Bald Boy -- that is, Strange-Looking Boy with the Funky-Shaped Head -- uh, I mean, you handsome hunk of burnin' love, you! (What am I doing here? I can't ruin a chance for a little fun just because the guy looks like someting outta Mystery Science Theater 3000! I think I better take what I can get, when I can get it! It's been how many years?!)

As for Andy, well, she's a Lost Cause. End of subject. You're exactly right, she's vain und jealouz and is too hung up on that face of hers. She definitely needs zome vork, but I'm a much better candidate for any vork you might have in mind. Peace out, Doc!

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trikelady 82 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-06, 10:34 PM (EST)
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45. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
>LAST EDITED ON 03-23-06
>AT 01:10PM (EST)

>
>Buddha would like to thank the
>lovely and wonderful Rhonda for
>rescuing me when she was
>coming back from her vacation.
> Now that I am
>back in my rightful place
>in the garden, I feel
>much better . . .
>except for this one dried
>up, ugly colored rose that
>keeps trying to get closer
>to me.

>

Buddah you ain't no prize winner either. Atleast I can and will produce many, many, many, many, many more BEAUTIFUL roses. What's ya gonna do about that uh...nose..? Did BOTOX PUSS 1 bring ya back some cement from her vacation to fix your bugger hole? That is or was your nose wasn't it?...LOL... My guess is pretty soon you'll have the other side picked off OR your rightful owner "the nosey nut next door" will come and take you back to where you belong. Hey Bud how about a nice swim in the pool...lol...oh, that's right you can't swim you're CEMENT...LOL...Hey...you might look pretty good at the bottom of the pool...it would be harder to see your FLAWS.

The Rose Bush


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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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03-23-06, 01:16 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
LAST EDITED ON 03-23-06 AT 01:19 PM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 03-23-06 AT 01:19 PM (EST)

Okay...uuuhhh.....aaahhh...so I've been working on this list that Rhonda gave today explaining why I think I should be able to let the egg go....I sure hope Iyanla doesn't find out that I went behind her back to Rhonda to get out of carrying around this stupid egg. I told Rhonda that it represented both mine and Tony's heart and she bought it. Well, here's the list I came up with all by myself.


1. It's rotten and is starting to stink up the place.
2. Humpty Dumpty has left the building.
3. Christie is jealous of it.
4. Allison thinks it's for her womb...
5. It would give me one less thing to complain about.
6. Jodi might eat it if Lisa doesn't get rid of it.
7. Jill called and said she was hungry and since she wasn't gainfully employed she needed food so could I send her the egg.
8. Kim might say it doesn't understand her and then say it hurts her feelings and is mean to her just like everyone and everything else is
9. Christie might sit on it and it would totally disappear.
10. The egg has been through enough (done it's time LOL) and deserves to be set free away from the lunatics in the SOH.
11. I don't want to carry this egg around anymore, because I could read on the RTVW forum how dumb I look carrying this egg around in this little plastic dish with a folded paper towel as a cushion.
12. All the gossiping I do...my jaw might cause the egg to shatter.
13. I can't flamingo dance while holding the egg
14. Now that I finally tweezed my eyebrows I can see it and I don't like it anymore.
15. I'm afraid Jodi might try to hug it and crush it thus failing my assignment.
16. Jump on the bus gus
17. make a new plan stan
18. dont need to be coy, roy
19. Just set yourself free.
20. I talked in circles so much the egg scrambled itself and Kim ate it when she wanted a egg.
21. Christie keeps stealing it as another one of her "addictions"
22. I am sick of telling Christie,"This is not your mother egg! Quit blaming it!"
23. Who came first the chicken or the egg and it wants to be hatched.
24. You only get laid once!
25. It takes 4 minutes to get hard
26. 2 minutes to get soft and
27. You have to share a box with 11 other guys
28. It makes Cassie feel bad...I am just another "adoptive" mother who has total custody and control over somebody's abandoned kid!

Okay, so I can't come up with more reasons because those people on line haven't given me anymore ideas I love Tony so much and I know it's all my fault.

I really did come up with all of these by myself with no help from the housemates or anybody else. Really. No, really, I did.


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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
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03-23-06, 08:59 PM (EST)
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36. "IYANLA!!! IYANLA!!!!"
I am shouting out to the Universe for Iyanla! I do believe that you will agree that is necessary for you to perform an exorcism. No, not of Kelly or Kim (well, not today, anyway)...of the spirit that floats around in the doors of the house. And it tells lies, lies, lies, I tell you, LIES!!!!

Oh, do you like the cool neon beads I got to replace the front door? I know that they really don't keep the weather out, but it's okay, because WE don't have to live there. And they make it such a hip pad! I would love to get some of those for the love nest I dream of...

*pulls out mirror*

I love me, I love me, I love me, Jonny loves me, Jonny loves me...


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-06, 05:26 AM (EST)
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37. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Dear Journal,
I'm so happy to be Rhonda's pet. My attitude stinks but she stood by my side until it finally started getting better. Kim is so irritating but I now know that if I can only make myself listen to her a little..I will look like the savior HM. Rhonda told me this would work.

I am so glad that they didn't just spring my mom on ME hehe. I would have been SOOoo P!SSED off if they hadn't given me several counceling sessions to prepare for this meeting!..and Rhonda will be holding my hand I'm SOoo special

I'm done being P!SSED (for now) instead now I'm sad! If I cry enough maybe no one will figure out that I'm just a bitter daughter who chose to follow in her footsteps?

Mom got to buy some new shoes for the show and that P!SSES me off (oops..well it DID)..I need a new pair of shoes DAMN!T It's all her fault..hopefully tomorrow she'll FINALLY admit it!?

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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-06, 06:34 AM (EST)
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38. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
LAST EDITED ON 03-24-06 AT 06:53 AM (EST)

Hate to break it to ya, chickie, but you don't need new shoes till I say you need new shoes. Er, uh, I mean, that is to say, new shoes would be a wonderful fashion departure for you, dear, but after all, what I say goes when it comes to clothes. (Hee hee! That even rhymes. I amaze myself with my many talents.)

Hang tough and see if until you graduate and maybe you'll get new shoes then. Unless they blow the budget on tape and padding to remind you of your crappy body self-image. Remember that little exercise?? You never know, it might be Ms. Michelin Man Redux instead of new shoes. If I were you I'd snap to, and stop with the P-word already.

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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
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03-24-06, 07:26 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
Rhonda, those beads are great. May I borrow them for Kim's Lock-down Anger Management Area?

Also need more paper, Crayola Markers (tips all broken off), Voodoo Dolls, Large Diapers (refuses to use nearest bathroom because it's not Kelly's), Bubble Wrap (that kept her busy), and a nice 6 - pack Fleet soothing enema.

I'm sure I've forgotten something. Damn.

Oh, yes. My cuticle cream from Andie. I plan to do that hand thing with Kim tomorrow.


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justfionablue 62 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-06, 10:02 AM (EST)
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42. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
*neighbor staring (amazed) through back fence*

There goes that scruffy guy again wildly gesticulating with those HUGE hands. (And he's wearing that LOVELY purple velvet jacket again too). He's just standing there in front of all those ladies repeatedly pointing right and left with those MONSTER paws.

Hmmm. I wonder if he got them from Dr. Vant???

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trikelady 82 desperate attention whore postings
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03-25-06, 10:57 PM (EST)
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46. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
WTF...? slams the door
grabs her comb...slams the door
grabs her sweat shirt...slams the door
grabs her cigs...slams the door
grabs a glass of wine...slams the door
makes a brush pile and includes all the voodoo dolls she made of the HM's...slams the door
grabs 2 more bottles of wine...slams the door
grabs a black magic marker...slams the door
writes nasty stuff all over the door about other HM's...slams the door
slams the door, slams the door, slams the door

door finally falls off it's hinges and she throws it on her bonfire and the door is ablaze

bonfire goes out and Kim goes inside...weeping...damn! no more doors to slam.

I was really enjoying slamming those doors since I don't have any in my house.


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Ingenue1983 55 desperate attention whore postings
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03-26-06, 06:33 AM (EST)
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47. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
A few of the things that ended up on the cutting room floor....


1. One of the photos we got back from the photographer at Kim's birthday party. She had a BLAST! (obviously)


2. The bathroom argument was finally solved...

3. In Iyanla's driveway one afternoon....

4. How Jill spends her days (the ones she ISN'T working) after journaling... (Do I spy some of the rich and famous crowd she hangs with behind that pile of laundry?)



PS Does anyone know where there are photos of the HG's online? I didn't realize pictures of them would be so hard to find... had a lot of trouble. Thanks

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trikelady 82 desperate attention whore postings
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03-26-06, 05:28 PM (EST)
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48. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
EXCELLENT JOB ON THE BIRTHDAY PIC OF ME! WOW! I'm just so beautiful, I just don't understand how something so beautiful could end up on the editing room floor. Blah, Blah, Blah
thx.
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
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03-27-06, 04:13 PM (EST)
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49. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
: : Picks lint of elbow of suede jacket : :

Kim, I'm trying to decide if this behavior is a manifestion of healthy, latent healing of neuroses or if you are just a manipulative, cuckoo-cuckoo-cuckoo paranoid, delusional, competitive, attention-seeking whoo-hoo nut-jobbie.

Perhaps this can all be healed by my sensuous pinky.

: : flexes hands : :

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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
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03-27-06, 04:18 PM (EST)
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50. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 7"
: : runs index finger through grizzly cheek stubble: :

Hmmm. Purple velvet gloves would look nice today.

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