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Pixeltalk 644 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 03-13-06, 05:56 PM (EST) "Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" The DAW thread got me thinking about careers that the SO housemates have an aptitude for. Kelly: Interrogator at Abu Ghraib prison or Guantanamo Bay; Howard Stern cohost Jill: Like I said before, luggage tester for Samsonite OR editor for the Dictionary of Pop Psychology and Slang Lisa1: Spokesperson for the "Ab Roller" exercise machine or new tennis partner for John McEnroe Jodi: Sales of sex toys (maybe she could have Lisa as her partner in this venture) Christina: Hollywood butt double Any more?   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... JustBNMe 03-13-06 1    RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... EMTBGRL 03-13-06 2        RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... pmfmpls 03-14-06 3        RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... petmama 03-14-06 4        RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... maryellennaco 03-14-06 5            RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... EMTBGRL 03-14-06 6  RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... SOfan0221 03-15-06 7    RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... petmama 03-16-06 9  RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... JustBNMe 03-15-06 8  RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... lovemydogdude 03-17-06 10    RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... Twinkles 03-17-06 11  RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... JustBNMe 05-08-06 12    RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... Baxtera 05-08-06 13        RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housema... Shazbot 05-08-06 14

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JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 03-13-06, 07:35 PM (EST) 1. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" Jodi-prison warden Lisa2 could clean the brown crap off Jill's nose when Jill finally removes it from IV's butt. Allison could be a spokesperson for a wine company or a face on a poster of why people shouldn't drink. Jessica could demonstrate a new brand of tissues in a store with all her crying and/or a new nasal spray so she wouldn't talk through her nose and sound all stuffed up all the time. Christina a kindergarten art teacher Lisa1 spokesperson for pepto bismol since she throws up all the time. Could also be a bed salesperson since she likes to lay around so much.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson" 03-13-06, 08:03 PM (EST) 2. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" Lisa1: Broke hooker. Cheap and lazy. OR, Macy's Dept. store window mannikin. Lisa2: Elementary school classroom aide. Makes a lot of photocopies and takes a lot of orders from the staff. Eats lunch alone. Kelly: One of Noah's daughters, or English royalty of yesteryear..either some Bible knowledge or English history required! Jill: Hostess cupcakes spokesperson. Christina: Magician's assistant in Las Vegas. Jodi: Iron Chef challenger. Kim: Talk show host for one week, until she realizes that the show really IS about "them," and quits blaming everyone for their lack of participation in making the show a success.. Melinda: Washed up marathon runner. Vanessa: Skating With Celebrities judge. Bethany: American Idol contestant who forgets the words in Week #1. Part Time Job at "Things Remembered" Kimberlyn: Project Runway contestant. Denise: California Klosets Representative. Tess: Anger Management counselor. Layne: The Invisible Woman. (Wasn't she supposed to be living in the house??) Sommer: Dolly Grip. TJ: Horse Whisperer Jessica: Professional SOH extra. How'm I doin'? Anyone else?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

pmfmpls 149 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-14-06, 00:00 AM (EST) 3. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" Part-time job at Things Remembered!!!! Hilarious!!!!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

petmama 494 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 03-14-06, 02:05 PM (EST) 4. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" Josie-DNA tester.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

maryellennaco 1084 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 03-14-06, 04:15 PM (EST) 5. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" Girl, you are right on target!! What about Alliscam?? And Iguana?? Rhonda?? Keep 'em comin'!!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson" 03-14-06, 06:10 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" Alliscam: After being rejected from "Up With People's Reunion Tour" (because they didn't believe she was 24) became an AmWay Representative, where she dreamed of liiiiiving on the top of the pyramid. Rhonda: Permanent cast member of off-Broadway production of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" as Nurse Ratchett. Decides to live fearlessly by having a semi-passionate love affair with the stage director, the theater critic, and one of the other patients, and daring a tabloid to whine about it. Iyanla: Published a book of platitudes that had a booksigning turnout of 100 people at a local Borders Books, and faded into obscurity. Made it into the Clearance Section of Borders, where it later sold for a proud $1.99 ea. Iguana collected $.07 cents of each sale in royalties. Sometimes appears on Oprah Winfrey show to kiss the feet of Toni Morrison.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SOfan0221 828 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 03-15-06, 08:51 PM (EST) 7. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" Kelly - The person you hire to help you break up with your significant other. She shows up at your soon to be ex's door and reads them the riot act. Lisa1 - door stop. Not good for any other uses. Kim - motor mouth. Put her in the mall with a sign that says if you can out talk me you win $500. Andy Paige - Clown Christina - pole dancer. Ohhh, yeah, already been there done that. Christie - 1/2 of a book end. Can't sit up straight, always slouched over to the side - might as well be productive and hold up some books while slouched. Iyanla - Darth Vaders mother. Luke, (heavy breathing) I am your mother. Jodi - Official hugger of all newbies to SO Melinda - Target for all Kim's anger. Paint bulls eye on her back for all the back stabbing she will get from daughter dearest. Lisa2 - Dancing with the stars, Flamengco with George Hamilton Jill - Hand puppeteer TJ - hair model Allison - Poster child for AA Christie - Poster child #2 for AA Cassie - model for future bobble head dolls. The hockey team in Duluth gave free bobble head dolls of the runaway bride, so why not SO's own bobble head? Running out of ideas and American Idol is on so got to go.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

petmama 494 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 03-16-06, 04:33 PM (EST) 9. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" LAST EDITED ON 03-16-06 AT 04:34 PM (EST) Kim - Poster child #3 for AA. Tess- Fork thrower.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 03-15-06, 08:59 PM (EST) 8. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" LAST EDITED ON 03-15-06 AT 09:00 PM (EST) Iyanla could be the double for Donkey in the movie Shrek and Jodi could be a double for rocker Sammy Hagar. Melinda could have doubled in the past for the woman who played Mrs. Roper on tv's Three's Company. Christie could be the model for a new line of Halloween masks with her constant scowling and furrowing of her eyebrows. Allison could work on a horse farm since she is used to slinging crap around. Lisa1 could be a human pool cue and Lisa2 would make a great politician she agrees with whomever she is talking to and can't make up her mind.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 03-17-06, 02:29 AM (EST) 10. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" LAST EDITED ON 03-17-06 AT 02:30 AM (EST) LMAO I luv u guyz Lisatwit: Drano mascot The new visual for software Cold water washing promo *STOP the shrinkage! Jill: Beeyotch training coach Fame vs. pride failure Anti-orange stripes spokeswoman Allison: Always carry patches for your liferaft reminder Waxing hurts less spokeswoman Jessica: Take advantage of the moment..role model TJ: This show sucks but I ROCK..evidence Christina: Ask me HOW to.. Kim: Be STRONG!...the movie Lisa2: How to make everyone feel sorry for you then hate you in less than 60days author Jodi: Squeeze yourself into a size 6 ~ author Dad SUCKS cuz he's a MAN ~author 2nd/last book Christie: Cottage cheese model Kelly: Electric fence salewoman Is your waitress a shark ~ author My son thinks I'm a pervert ~ author final attempt Iyanla: Wicked tissues ~ soak yourself right here logo Rhonda: Hairdye malfunction correction clinic Andy: Goodwill store interior designer   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Twinkles 324 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host" 03-17-06, 09:09 AM (EST) 11. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" Iyanla: 3.99 a minute phone line, press 1 now for inspiring vapid thought of the day, press 2 now to just hear deep breathy voice say random thought Jodi: correctional officer in womens prisons. takes bribes for lingering hugs. Christie: bar fly Lisa1: Country club ball washer Lisa2: Telemarketer Kim: baggage handler or bell hop Jill: Pastry chef Jessica: Product tester for personal care products at Kleenex Kelly: Bouncer Christina: Decoration, um, I mean, interior decorator. Rhonda: excellent tour guide for spooky, scary sights of interest Stan: part-time print model for blazers   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 05-08-06, 07:25 PM (EST) 12. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" Cassie could do a voiceover for the Teletubbies when she does her "uh-oh!" little girl voice and flaps her aroms around like they do   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 05-08-06, 07:31 PM (EST) 13. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" Cassie: Children's program voice person Kelly: Body guard for abused women Antonia: Poetri's assistant she wouldn't do much but... Allsion: IV's personal assistant following her on every trip waiting at her feet for personal drips of brilliance. Christie: Tester for Consumer Reports she loves to whine and complain about things that don't work. Jill: SO talk show host to take it to the air now it's gone off on TV. She'll present on air stories.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Shazbot 226 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 05-08-06, 09:47 PM (EST) 14. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" Antonia - Tina Turner (Really, I mean that in the best way. No slight against Tina Turner, whom I love). Christie - Julia Roberts, with a life gone wrong, so very, very wrong.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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