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"Career Aptitudes of the Housemates"
Pixeltalk 644 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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03-13-06, 05:56 PM (EST)
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"Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" |
The DAW thread got me thinking about careers that the SO housemates have an aptitude for. Kelly: Interrogator at Abu Ghraib prison or Guantanamo Bay; Howard Stern cohost Jill: Like I said before, luggage tester for Samsonite OR editor for the Dictionary of Pop Psychology and Slang Lisa1: Spokesperson for the "Ab Roller" exercise machine or new tennis partner for John McEnroe Jodi: Sales of sex toys (maybe she could have Lisa as her partner in this venture) Christina: Hollywood butt double Any more?
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JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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03-13-06, 07:35 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" |
Jodi-prison wardenLisa2 could clean the brown crap off Jill's nose when Jill finally removes it from IV's butt. Allison could be a spokesperson for a wine company or a face on a poster of why people shouldn't drink. Jessica could demonstrate a new brand of tissues in a store with all her crying and/or a new nasal spray so she wouldn't talk through her nose and sound all stuffed up all the time. Christina a kindergarten art teacher Lisa1 spokesperson for pepto bismol since she throws up all the time. Could also be a bed salesperson since she likes to lay around so much.
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EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson"
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03-13-06, 08:03 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" |
Lisa1: Broke hooker. Cheap and lazy. OR, Macy's Dept. store window mannikin. Lisa2: Elementary school classroom aide. Makes a lot of photocopies and takes a lot of orders from the staff. Eats lunch alone. Kelly: One of Noah's daughters, or English royalty of yesteryear..either some Bible knowledge or English history required! Jill: Hostess cupcakes spokesperson. Christina: Magician's assistant in Las Vegas. Jodi: Iron Chef challenger. Kim: Talk show host for one week, until she realizes that the show really IS about "them," and quits blaming everyone for their lack of participation in making the show a success.. Melinda: Washed up marathon runner. Vanessa: Skating With Celebrities judge. Bethany: American Idol contestant who forgets the words in Week #1. Part Time Job at "Things Remembered" Kimberlyn: Project Runway contestant. Denise: California Klosets Representative. Tess: Anger Management counselor. Layne: The Invisible Woman. (Wasn't she supposed to be living in the house??) Sommer: Dolly Grip. TJ: Horse Whisperer Jessica: Professional SOH extra.How'm I doin'? Anyone else?
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pmfmpls 149 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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03-14-06, 00:00 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" |
Part-time job at Things Remembered!!!! Hilarious!!!!
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maryellennaco 1084 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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03-14-06, 04:15 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" |
Girl, you are right on target!! What about Alliscam?? And Iguana?? Rhonda?? Keep 'em comin'!!
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SOfan0221 828 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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03-15-06, 08:51 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" |
Kelly - The person you hire to help you break up with your significant other. She shows up at your soon to be ex's door and reads them the riot act.Lisa1 - door stop. Not good for any other uses. Kim - motor mouth. Put her in the mall with a sign that says if you can out talk me you win $500. Andy Paige - Clown Christina - pole dancer. Ohhh, yeah, already been there done that. Christie - 1/2 of a book end. Can't sit up straight, always slouched over to the side - might as well be productive and hold up some books while slouched. Iyanla - Darth Vaders mother. Luke, (heavy breathing) I am your mother. Jodi - Official hugger of all newbies to SO Melinda - Target for all Kim's anger. Paint bulls eye on her back for all the back stabbing she will get from daughter dearest. Lisa2 - Dancing with the stars, Flamengco with George Hamilton Jill - Hand puppeteer TJ - hair model Allison - Poster child for AA Christie - Poster child #2 for AA Cassie - model for future bobble head dolls. The hockey team in Duluth gave free bobble head dolls of the runaway bride, so why not SO's own bobble head? Running out of ideas and American Idol is on so got to go.
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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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03-17-06, 02:29 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-17-06 AT 02:30 AM (EST)LMAO I luv u guyz Lisatwit: Drano mascot The new visual for software Cold water washing promo *STOP the shrinkage! Jill: Beeyotch training coach Fame vs. pride failure Anti-orange stripes spokeswoman Allison: Always carry patches for your liferaft reminder Waxing hurts less spokeswoman Jessica: Take advantage of the moment..role model TJ: This show sucks but I ROCK..evidence Christina: Ask me HOW to.. Kim: Be STRONG!...the movie Lisa2: How to make everyone feel sorry for you then hate you in less than 60days author Jodi: Squeeze yourself into a size 6 ~ author Dad SUCKS cuz he's a MAN ~author 2nd/last book Christie: Cottage cheese model Kelly: Electric fence salewoman Is your waitress a shark ~ author My son thinks I'm a pervert ~ author final attempt Iyanla: Wicked tissues ~ soak yourself right here logo Rhonda: Hairdye malfunction correction clinic Andy: Goodwill store interior designer
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JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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05-08-06, 07:25 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" |
Cassie could do a voiceover for the Teletubbies when she does her "uh-oh!" little girl voice and flaps her aroms around like they do
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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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05-08-06, 07:31 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" |
Cassie: Children's program voice personKelly: Body guard for abused women Antonia: Poetri's assistant she wouldn't do much but... Allsion: IV's personal assistant following her on every trip waiting at her feet for personal drips of brilliance. Christie: Tester for Consumer Reports she loves to whine and complain about things that don't work. Jill: SO talk show host to take it to the air now it's gone off on TV. She'll present on air stories.
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Shazbot 226 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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05-08-06, 09:47 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Career Aptitudes of the Housemates" |
Antonia - Tina Turner (Really, I mean that in the best way. No slight against Tina Turner, whom I love). Christie - Julia Roberts, with a life gone wrong, so very, very wrong.
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