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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
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Original message

Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

03-06-06, 07:28 PM (EST)
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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
LAST EDITED ON 03-07-06 AT 05:57 PM (EST)

Whoda thunk we'd become the most talked-about members of the SO house?

I mean, we've been everywhere! The neighbor's bushes, the side of the pool, the Confessional Chair, hanging from the Emmy -- it's almost as if everyone had worn us!

And we're not even in fashion! Take THAT, Andy Paige!


Don't even get us started about those Olympic unitards.

ADMINISTRIVIA:

Good job last week, folks. But we still need more houseguests, and more from them (maybe this should be Be the Speedos?!). Allison, where did you go? And how can we not have a Jill?

Remember to use your sigs, or at least sign off as your characters.

If you want to join in as a RECURRING character, please sign up in the signup thread before posting.

WE STILL NEED A DR. STAN. Jessica is also available.

First come, first served in the signup thread. That's where you'll find your sigs also. (POETRI: I made a new sig for you in last week's thread.)

Remember, if you're unable to post as your character for a time, just send me a note to that effect. Otherwise, I can only assume you're uninterested, which isn't fair to someone who might want to play. (TJ is gone until next week.)

Inanimate objects who wish to change to unclaimed HGs may do so in the signup thread. But we welcome new ones of those too.

Do NOT post as a character that's been claimed. Thanks.

You can post as ad hoc, one-time characters WITHOUT signing up. If you intend to reuse your character, please do sign up...thanks!

And HAVE FUN!

Non-players: THIS IS NOT A DISCUSSION THREAD. Discussion-type posts may be removed. BUT . . . You may address or ask questions of the role-players as their characters.

E-mail or PM me with any problems. And all hail Angelfood for inventing the "Be The" games. Hoorah Hoorah Hoorah!

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-06-06 1
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... lovemydogdude 03-06-06 2
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Ijustsharted 03-07-06 12
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... GuyStartingOver 03-06-06 3
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... mbinkc 03-06-06 4
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... sharnina 03-07-06 7
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Sahara 03-13-06 61
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... JavaT 03-07-06 5
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Cygnus X1 03-07-06 6
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... justfionablue 03-07-06 8
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Cygnus X1 03-07-06 9
 RE: Where's Iyanla?? snowflake2 03-07-06 10
   RE: Where's Iyanla?? justfionablue 03-07-06 11
   RE: Where's Iyanla?? Cygnus X1 03-07-06 13
 Salvaging the ratings Cygnus X1 03-07-06 14
   RE: Salvaging the ratings GuyStartingOver 03-07-06 15
   RE: Salvaging the ratings Sahara 03-13-06 62
       RE: Salvaging the ratings Cygnus X1 03-13-06 63
 Mr.'s Murray and Internet... Sahara 03-07-06 16
   Visit the Bead Store dangit!! turquiosedove 03-07-06 17
       Lisa #2, I be so sorry... mbinkc 03-07-06 18
       RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! Cygnus X1 03-07-06 19
           RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! turquiosedove 03-08-06 23
       RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! GuyStartingOver 03-07-06 20
           RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! turquiosedove 03-08-06 24
               RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! GuyStartingOver 03-08-06 28
                   RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! turquiosedove 03-08-06 30
       RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! snowflake2 03-07-06 21
           RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! lovemydogdude 03-08-06 22
               RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! SeasonedRefinement 03-08-06 26
                   RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! snowflake2 03-09-06 44
           RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! turquiosedove 03-08-06 25
               RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! SeasonedRefinement 03-08-06 27
                   RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! turquiosedove 03-08-06 29
                       RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! SeasonedRefinement 03-08-06 31
                           RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! turquiosedove 03-09-06 39
           RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! shelley_sargent 03-09-06 38
               RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!! snowflake2 03-09-06 45
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... lovemydogdude 03-08-06 32
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... GuyStartingOver 03-08-06 33
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... justfionablue 03-09-06 34
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... GuyStartingOver 03-09-06 35
               RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... justfionablue 03-09-06 37
                   Hey, Neighbor . . . Cygnus X1 03-10-06 46
                       RE: Hey, Neighbor . . . justfionablue 03-10-06 52
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... lovemydogdude 03-09-06 36
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... GuyStartingOver 03-09-06 40
               RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Cygnus X1 03-10-06 47
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... trikelady 03-09-06 41
               RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... SeasonedRefinement 03-09-06 42
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... snowflake2 03-09-06 43
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... lovemydogdude 03-10-06 48
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... pinksparkleguitar 03-10-06 49
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Cygnus X1 03-10-06 50
       RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... justfionablue 03-10-06 53
           RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... Cygnus X1 03-11-06 56
 RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... susan765 03-10-06 51
   RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thre... mbinkc 03-10-06 54
       RE: Psssst, Poetri... snowflake2 03-11-06 55
           RE: Psssst, Poetri... SeasonedRefinement 03-11-06 57
               RE: Psssst, Poetri... Ingenue1983 03-12-06 58
                   Yo, Ingenue! mbinkc 03-12-06 59
                   RE: Psssst, Poetri... Cygnus X1 03-13-06 60

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-06-06, 08:15 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
*tiptoe* *tiptoe* *tiptoe*

(whispers) Oh, good, he isn't here. Where did he put those things? If I were Jonny's Speedos, where would I be? Hmmm...

*heads out to see Garden Buddha*

*sees Buddha with Speedos tied around as a blindfold*

Buddha? What happened?

*Buddha coughs and gags as Speedos are removed*

What? You mean last night? When he was supposed to be with ME?????? *turns Rootin' Tootin' Rage-filled Red* Who was it, Buddha? You say you couldn't see? Whoever it was kept babbling, wanting to show him a jail cell and offering to serve him some weird kind of salsa? Oh, my gosh. So that is where she is. Oh, that little tart. No wonder he wouldn't let me kick her out a LOOONNNNGGGGG time ago. Oh, she kept saying her daddy would pay him well? And then she giggled and asked if that made her a prostitute? Yep, that's her all right. Thank you so much, Buddha, you have been very helpful. I am sorry about the Speedo burn on your eyes. I am going to take these Speedos to my own private burning ceremony.

*takes Speedos to fireplace*

*strikes match and watches Speedos go up in flames*

Oh, Universe, are you listening? (This works for Iyanla, so I guess I will try it too.) Please strike down the owner of these Speedos and the one who talked him into removing them. Please afflict them with Christina's mmm...disease.

*removes mirror from pocket*

The wall mirror is better, but this one will have to do. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?

The fairest in the Starting Over Kingdom is still you, Rhonda. Although someone is vying for your position as Queen.

Who, mirror? Who is trying to topple my kingdom?

I am sorry, but your session is over. Please deposit fifty cents in the next five seconds for your session to continue. Since Dr. Stan is missing, I can make a lot bigger bucks counseling the ladies. Your time is now up. Thank you for playing.

*sob* *sob* *wheeze* *cough* *gag*

Those Speedos put out some powerful fumes.

*sob* *sob* *wail*

*looks in mirror, wiping tears from eyes*

I love me, I love me, I love me.....


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-06, 08:47 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
Burn Rhonda burn..teehee..I know whatcha got and you can't blame me neener neener! I wasn't the one who messed with potions and contaminated your loins (sorry Iyanla but someone else brought it up so it's not my fault)..so HA what comes around goes around hehe. You never liked me and your judgement day has arrived. Johnyboy will never want you now that you're on a lifetime of penicillin.

Even Lisatwit is better than you as she's managed to somehow escape STDville (all that stalking has kept her numbers down). He'd be better off with her anyday at least Daddy would make it worth his while. Everything happens for a reason and I'm thinking it's your time to pay. So why don't you get out that mirror of yours and look down south teehee, better get a baseline so you can detect any changes.

P.S. Jill you're only making yourself look silly by caring what those dumb boards have to say..even I listened when I was told not to go there..are you a glutten for punishment? OMG Yes that's right you are (sorry teehee) By the way I ate 6 cupcakes today and bet I won't gain a pound don't ya hate me!?

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Ijustsharted 518 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-06, 05:06 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
AWW! Thanks Christina!!! I know you didnt mean to call me a twit.... By the way I stood up for you too! People said that you stink and I said....like SH!T....


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GuyStartingOver 79 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

03-06-06, 09:09 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
~~~slithering in like a snake~~~
:::almost sing-songy:::
Psssssst.... sssssay there, sssssssaucy wench.... that'sssssssss right, ssssssssaucy you are..... sssssssssssay, what'sssssssssss the matter, sssssssssssssssssweetie? Ssssssssssssssssssssomebody got you down? Ssssssssssssseveral sssssssssomebody's? sssssssomeone'sss gone and cast a sssssssspell on yo' ssssssssssweeet ssssssssugar ssssssssurprisssse? and ssssssssssomeone's been ssssssssssnaking around behind your back? ssssssssssssssssomehow, I jussssssssst knew you might yet find a need for meeeeeeeeeeee.

That'ssssssssssss right. I can give you alllllll that you sssssssseek. Revenge. Sssssssssssatisfaction. CAMERA time. Yesssssss, even that. Now lisssssssssten, while I whissssssssssper the sssssssssecret that will sssssssset your ssssssssspirit free....... :::wipes ssssslobber off mouth:::

Here'ssssssss the deal..... I've got my Mr. Internet Tech Sssssssssservicessss virussssssss protection right here..... you need only ssssssssssupply the virusssssss for coating the outsssssssssside. I've got my ssssssssuper sssssssecret web cam attached and on "night visssssssssssssion" mode. There'sssssss your camera time. I've already got that Chrisssssssssssssstina primed for, ssssssssssshall we ssssssssay, a "followup visssssssssit"... Jussssssssst thissssss once, the virusssssss-encrusted protection getsssssss mixed up with the new onessssssss.... that sssssimpleton Chrissssssstina sssssssuddenly is reinfected.... Misssssssster Murray goessssss for another ssssssssssexual healing.... and voila. Then we have the producersssssss work their magic on the web cam imagessssssss and....... at jusssssssst the right moment..... you happen to sssssssswitch Jonny-boy'sssss TV to a certain sssssssstation, where he ssssssssssees just how well you do without him. Habanero-fiery wizzzzzzzzz.... fessssssssstering sssssssssoresssssssss... and you, in passsssssssionate throessssss with a sssssssssssssssssstrange man...... :::wiping lip again:::

Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssound like a plan???? Hmmmmmmmm?


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mbinkc 32 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

03-06-06, 10:55 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
Speedos, infections and cheating, oh my
Buddah statue "seeing" with no eyes.

You all be crazy, yeah dat's what I said
You messin' with fate, not to mention my head.

I came to da house to help #2 Jill
Everything since then's been goin' downhill.

Mr. Murray, oh please, control yo' needs
Miss Rhonda is sufferin' from all yo' dirty deeds.

Oh Great Buddah I'm sorry 'bout yo' eyes
I'll wash them for you and also sterilize.

Icky, yucky, nasty and gross, you know those be the words
To describe what's been goin' on...SO house for da' birds!

IV, what up wit' you, you be causin' some commotion
I be all put off by yo' "motion lotion potion."

I be afraid of you all, each and every one
Dis ain't da result of anything I have done.

You all, BE ASHAMED, seek help from Buddah fast
You jus' never know which day will be yo' last.


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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

03-07-06, 03:32 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
>I came to da house to
>help #2 Jill
>Everything since then's been goin' downhill.

Oh, Poetri don't you remember that you came to the house to help #2 Lisa and not #2 Jill. I don't think the house could have taken two Jills. It was enough that there were two Lisas.

Maybe if you used my name you could have written that line this way;

I came to da house to help #2 Lisa
Everything since then's gone down the pissah.

Sort of rhymes. Anyway, everything is Tony's fault, you know.


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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-13-06, 10:08 AM (EST)
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61. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
Oh, Mr. Internet,

Your offer does have certain attractions for me, and I appreciate the compliment, but a couple of things are holding me back. First of all, you are eternally entwined with Lisa (don't worry, she will NEVER leave you alone) and I do not want to see the wench. Secondly, and most importantly....

I.Have.Seen.Your.Picture.

Enough said.


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

Check with me again if I have not heard from Jon-Boy in 24 hours. My standards could change. Oh, and the Universe listened to me, so the infection is right where it belongs now...

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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

03-07-06, 01:06 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
Dear Speedos,

At least you understand that you are passé, my friend. You have gone the way of the fanny pack and big hair... you are one with the Birkenstock and the bandana... you have simply and truly become the butt-clinging cliché we all want to avoid... and so I must shout, c'est la vie! Get over your spandex self, whydontcha?!

Of course, if you'd like a makeover, I'd be glad to enlist my services. Add a dash of velvet and a pinch of satin and you might start to look... well, maybe not good, but a bit less skanky.

There is, of course, nothing I can do about the smell. Once somebody like Christina wears you, there's no turning back; you've been permeated.

Ta,


Try hanging your smelly self out on the line overnight.

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

03-07-06, 01:30 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
Quick! Degenerate into a ball of lint!


Or go through the dryer about 5 times!

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justfionablue 62 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

03-07-06, 11:14 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
*neighbor playing with dog in back yard*

Come here boy...what have you got in your mouth? Eewwww not again. Another red one???

*pries open dog's mouth and speedos fall to ground*

Yuck I've had it with these.

*grabs bar-b-que tongs and carefully picks up speedos tossing them over the fence into the SO yard...*

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-06, 01:34 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!! This ain't no dryer!

This will be the final post from:

Of course, she's violating the HOA covenant by burning us...

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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-06, 03:16 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Where's Iyanla??"
Uhhhhhhhh….Ok, so you know I appreciate the queen size bedroom set, right? And you know you’re like a moms to me, right? In fact, I call my mother everyday to remind her you’re the mother she never was. Uhhhhhh, Ok, so you know I’m your favorite home girl, right…well, after Allison. Well, like, uhhhhh, you know, I just have to authentically tell you I had no, like, uhhhhh, USE for that bedroom set. Queen-sized is a little too small, and in my family, we’re used to sleeping on sofas, anyway. Don’t be mad, but I traded in the bedroom set for something more useful. Cause giiiirl, all that walking around the house just beat the sh!t outta me…all that “from the fridge to the microwave and back”…and you know I’ve forgiven you for making me lug that baggage around, because you didn’t know I had that 40 lb tumor. Oh, yeah, that tumor has hair and teeth and it talks and it told me like the Voice of God, “Girl, this baggage sh!t just gotta stop!!”

So let me present the OFFICIAL…<high squeaky voice> JIIIIIIIILL…Tracey Hoveround Forerunner!!! It’s been tricked out by the same people who do all of Diddy’s sh!t. <Goes into phony, upbeat “radio” voice> As you can see, it’s got a kickin’ boom box in the front for when I just wanna chill, blasting Tupac. It’s got a beautiful “Princess” bling grill, and lights to let everyone know I AM….a diva, baby. Hostess pays me for the logo placement. The pole that holds the bucket of KFC goes up & down when I wanna eat…it’s all hydraulics, baby. (presses a button, and the bucket comes down with a pneumatic hum) Iyanla, you wanna join me for some fried chicken? Don’t play, Ok? I know you love you some fried bird, because I think your @ss is bigger than mine.

You got some kind of incantation or ritual for blessing my hoveround, Iyanla? Just to make sure all my rides are, uhhhhhhh, you know….safe?

Love ya, Mean it!


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justfionablue 62 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-06, 04:39 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Where's Iyanla??"
Ahhhhhhh Jill. It's a beeeauutiful thing!
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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-06, 05:54 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Where's Iyanla??"
I'm glad we didn't give THAT away. We'd need another season of nothing but product placement to pay for it!


I figure if we show that, we'd get about the same ratings we're getting now.

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-06, 06:09 PM (EST)
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14. "Salvaging the ratings"
Rhonda,

Need to meet with you and discuss how to liven things up a bit and get our ratings out of the sub-basement. I mean, Maury-frelling-Povich is beating us!

Why don't any of these women use the pool? It could get guys to tune in, you know. Works all the time for RW/RR/Gauntlet. (Maybe we need to get Lifetime to pick us up? Naah, they have too many carppy movies to show.)

Maybe a Starting Over Family Edition? Worked for The Amazing Race, didn't it?

So, how's about it? Submarine races at Malibu Beach? Tomorrow night?

Oh, and have you seen my Speedos?


And do lose the mirror next time. It's too dark to see it anyway, and from last time I've still got 6 years, 11 months, and 8 days of bad luck to go.

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GuyStartingOver 79 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-06, 07:19 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Salvaging the ratings"
oh dear lord...... did we all need to see that????

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

03-13-06, 10:19 AM (EST)
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62. "RE: Salvaging the ratings"
After what you did to me, you expect me to salvage the ratings???? There is no revenge like the revenge of a jilted Rhonda...Umm, if you are having any say, burning and itching problems, repentance is the only way to be healed, by the way. I would be persuaded to ask the Universe for ALL to be aimed at Lousy Lisa. After all, the Universe has a special love for me, you know, since I am so special. And beautiful. And loving. And kind. And giving. And...


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-13-06, 11:24 AM (EST)
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63. "RE: Salvaging the ratings"
You forgot "brave, clean, and reverent."


So how was the Jamboree?

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-06, 07:49 PM (EST)
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16. "Mr.'s Murray and Internet..."
LAST EDITED ON 03-07-06 AT 07:51 PM (EST)

I am sorry, I am very ill and dizzy from those Speedo fumes. And I no longer trust Iyanla's potions. I am in a quandry regarding my relationships with both of you. As soon as I am feeling better and have a bit of "me" time, I will get back to you.

And WHY am I in competition with a 41-year-old baby?????


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

You both make my world spin...

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turquiosedove 100 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

03-07-06, 08:14 PM (EST)
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17. "Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"
LAST EDITED ON 03-07-06 AT 08:30 PM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 03-07-06 AT 08:17 PM (EST)

Hello all my beady friends up at the SOB err SO House. Its been awhile since I've seen you skanks err gals. I have lots of shiny, sparklie, pretty beads in stock. Iylana just blew her whole paycheck here (cha ching!!) She loves her baubles-she says its her therapy too disconnect her mind from all the conflama up there. Rhonda was in looking for voodoo beads-mumbling something about speedos and buns, she had evil in her eyes. I told her to wait for the full moon--she kept mumbling.......What the hell is going on up there???

Jill bring in your scooter, we'll bling it up more bad-a$$--Can Christina use your pole?? Bring her too.


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mbinkc 32 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

03-07-06, 09:11 PM (EST)
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18. "Lisa #2, I be so sorry..."
LAST EDITED ON 03-07-06 AT 11:01 PM (EST)

Oh Dear Lawd now look what I've done,
Messed up my HG's and all da #2's and #1's.

I do apologize Miss Lisa #2
Fo mistakin' you wit Jill, my mind a blank it drew.

If dis show can somehow stay on da air,
No mo' same name HG's, it's startin' to grey my hair.

A HG's name needs originality...
Jus' look at me, I be POETRI!

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-06, 10:54 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"
How much do you charge for beaded swim trunks?


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turquiosedove 100 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

03-08-06, 07:13 AM (EST)
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23. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"

We only stock beaded thongs. Its the European look, gone BelAir. I think you should go for it, you only live once, and you could use a little sun down there--not that I'm lookin
We'll throw it on your SO expense account.


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GuyStartingOver 79 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

03-07-06, 10:59 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"
I do have this door-knocker on my front door that I'd like to bling out a little bit. Let's see whatcha got.

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turquiosedove 100 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

03-08-06, 07:31 AM (EST)
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24. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"

Come on down, money bags errr Mr. I. My door knocker out back is pimpn large, It has a certain ring tone for each of my woman, if ya know what I mean, Check out the beaded thongs when you come down--you old wrinkled prune errr older distinguished men love them.

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GuyStartingOver 79 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

03-08-06, 12:19 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"
Hmmmm.

It's.... all.........

Itchy, that's the word I'm looking for. What's this thing made of, anyways??


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turquiosedove 100 desperate attention whore postings
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03-08-06, 12:36 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"

Hmmmm, its lined with the finest Italian silk, I can't imagine--wait a minute,

OH, Christina!!!

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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
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03-07-06, 11:31 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"
LAST EDITED ON 03-07-06 AT 11:34 PM (EST)

Well, uhhhhh, you know, I AM on the lookout for more bling for my scooter, as long as you understand that I'm a STAR now, and that means that I don't actually have to uhhhhhh, you know, PAY for things. Maybe I could put your store's logo/phone number on an inconspicuous spot on my scooter?

Christina using my pole, Oh, HELL NO!!!! I don't want that ho's crotch anywhere NEAR my fried chicken!! Homie don't play that!! (By the way, you like that saying? I made it up...yeah, it's totally original, because I like to keep it real.)

Love ya, Mean it!

(edited to add sig)

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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings
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03-08-06, 04:52 AM (EST)
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22. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"
I love tuna teehee errr I mean bones..NO i mean chicken teehee.
You never have liked to share your food Jill!

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
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03-08-06, 08:41 AM (EST)
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26. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"
(Sniff, Sniff, Sniff) Ahhh........Missssss Jilllllll, you smell finga lickin' good! I knew I smelled ya, baby! Come to me, you broad-backed, wide-hipped queen. Let me love on you for a bit...

Now Miss Jill, forgive me for pressin' the issue, but I KNOW WHO YOU ARE and generally, YOU'RE A LIAR! You're a liar of whom I stand in awe, but a liar none-the-less. Cutting through the conflama, Miss Jill - where oh where did you get that scooter..really? I mean the bedroom furniture we got you was from a mold damage sale at the Ladies of the Night Motel (that's why there was a coin slot in the head board), so I know that it wasn't worth more than $50. So where did you get the extra cash to buy your hover-round? What I'm saying is this: if we peel back the layers, we won't discover that an aged or infirmed person was left crawling around the local Wal-Mart because you snuck up on them from behind, knocked them off their little seat, and pulled a Prada - will we? If that's what happened, just tell Iyanla. You know my golden rule: "the end justifies the means if YOU come out on top", so I wouldn't burden you with the archaic concept of morality if it isn't a good fit for you. It's just that there may be some unenlightened clods, like the police, who may think that assaulting the handicapped and stealing their hover-round is a Class 2 Felony.

Well, either way, Miss Jill...let me speak blessing and life to you and your scooter...

(Iyanla raises her arms to the sky, looks up, closes her eyes, and begins to sway):

"Oh great goddess, we demand of thee this day, that the universe smile on our sista, Miss Jill. Bring her more and more stuff. Let her take it by force if necessary. We acknowledge that, despite the doctors alleged orders to the contrary, our sista found the strength in her weakened condition to assault someone and make off with their scooter. That is pretty fancy footwork for someone in such tumorous pain. And, if, by some small chance, she actually came by this scooter in some legitimate fashion- no judgment intended by using that word - I declare that you will forget everything I just said...all except the part about giving her more stuff.

Give her what she needs to keep the hydraulics lifting, the tires rolling, and the boom box booming. Keep that bucket filled with the Colonel's best offerings. So may it be."

Now girlfriend - HAND ME A DRUMSTICK AND TAKE ME FOR A RIDE!


*******************************************

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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"

03-09-06, 11:12 PM (EST)
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44. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"
Ooooh, Iyanla, I love when you sniff me!

Well, I just did what you taught me...I cried out to the Universe that I was sick of all the walkin'. When I saw that scooter, I just knew the Universe was answering me. Even my 40 lb tumor whispered, "Ooooh, Jell-o (that's my tumor's nickname for me), that looks like a mighty sweet ride". Yeah, I had to knock a little old lady out the seat, but I can't let people stand between me and what I want. And if you saw her, Iyanla, you'd know...you could tell that she was one of the unenlightened. She just didn't, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you know, get it. Not like you and me, Iyanla. That chair might have belonged to her physically, but spiritually it was mine.

So, Ok, now you know I been spendin' a lot of time on the computer lately, right? So, the next thing I'm gonna ask the Universe for is a voice recognition program for my computer. Cause girlfriend, my fingers are gettin' pretty tired from all that keyin'. It's a HELL of a lotta work, ON TOP of a 3-hour a week job. And anyway, Jodi said my forearms are gettin' too cut from all that typin'.

Iyanla? You think you could get me a 3rd makeover? I think I heard Kim sayin' I look like Prince gone obese after the last one. <starts singing> Pur-ple Rain, Pur-ple Rain!

Love Ya, Mean it!


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turquiosedove 100 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

03-08-06, 07:59 AM (EST)
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25. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"

You have Carte Blanche here hon, just as long as I get camera time and product placement. Cuz, we know you ain't got no money, unlike your hero and mine *wink* Iyanla and the Rhonda ooo la la.

Now we can start to bling out those tires, they're lookin geriatric- we'll encrust them with sparkly crystals to match the shine on your face. Now, I want you to look at the thongs too. Don't be shy girl..............

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"

03-08-06, 11:07 AM (EST)
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27. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"
Ah...Mr. Bead Store Owner -

Jill has Carte Blanche in your fine establishment??? Let's just make this really clear, because I like to put everything on the table. That doesn't mean that she gets to wander, or scooter, around the store, then, after she leaves, you check the store's security camera, and put her..um..."purchases" on my bill, does it?

Cuz I ain't goin' there - and you best not go there neither. uh-uh.


*******************************************

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turquiosedove 100 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

03-08-06, 12:27 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"

Iy, my loving beadfreak--first of all, that scooter won't fit through the front door, I'm gonna use the red velvet and rope it off up front on the sidewalk sorta VIP style.

My bling+camera time and product placement=no bill for you

And all we're doing is jazzing up that circus side show err scooter, making it sparkle and look Ho-llywood. She isn't into the fancy schmancy stuff like you---you have fiiiiine taste.

Hey, since that pole goes up way high, and is anchored nicely- I'm thinking you might look mighty nice on it too, uh huh!!



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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
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03-08-06, 12:44 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"
Well, my oh my, I was waitin' for you to notice just how fine I am. And flattery, as they say, will get you everywhere. ahahahaha!

So, do you think Jill is hotter than me? Don't count the scooter.

*******************************************

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turquiosedove 100 desperate attention whore postings
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03-09-06, 10:51 AM (EST)
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39. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"

Well, I haven't seen Jill yet or her pride and joy so I'll get back to ya, but I do love it when you fondle my beads, oh yah!

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shelley_sargent 73 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

03-09-06, 08:56 AM (EST)
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38. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"
What a freakin way to steel my thunder JILL! <hiccup>
I have had surgery years ago, and I only have hairy beeyoobs and I should have the hoverround! I am Iyanlas pet, she rubbed MY feet, dont you forget. <hiccup>
And whats up with all this mess about me living in the guest house, I DESERVE IT! I have had cancer, and I have had surgery and I have no way to make babies or even get a Booboo. How can you judge me!?!?!

Allison

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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"

03-09-06, 11:30 PM (EST)
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45. "RE: Visit the Bead Store dangit!!"
B!TCH< SHUT UP!!! Allison, the only reason I didn't kick your ##### while we were in the house together is because Iyanla promised me if I let you play your sh!t, she'd let me stay in the house extra long. And B!tch, at least they're gonna let ME come to the graduations!

So Allison, LIVE LONG AND PROSPER (like that saying? I made it up myself.) Just do it SOMEWHERE ELSE!!

Love ya, Mean it!

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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings
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03-08-06, 05:35 PM (EST)
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32. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
Jill you've never wanted to share, not your cupcakes, not your wine, not your camera time...now your pole WTF..like YOU need it. I bet if I jumped on you wouln't have the strength to pry me off teehee come and get me neener neener.
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GuyStartingOver 79 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

03-08-06, 11:31 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
Oh, Christiiiiiiii-naaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... I have a pole that I would not mind sharing with you!!


What, you didn't seriously think I would let THAT reference get away, now did you??

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justfionablue 62 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

03-09-06, 00:00 AM (EST)
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34. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
*neighbor looking out of peephole and yelling through locked front door*

I said GO AWAY Mr. Internet! I told you before, I don't care how much money you have, I'm NOT interested. And neither are my daughter OR my mother. So get off my porch before I call the cops. And what is that beaded thing you're wearing???

*looks down*

EEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

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GuyStartingOver 79 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

03-09-06, 01:29 AM (EST)
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35. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
Come, come now. Can you really speak on behalf of your daughter? Or your mother? Or your dog?

:::leering:::

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justfionablue 62 desperate attention whore postings
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03-09-06, 02:29 AM (EST)
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37. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"

*low threatening GROWL from dog...teeth bared*
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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

03-10-06, 00:52 AM (EST)
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46. "Hey, Neighbor . . ."
*tosses sig on front porch*

You've earned it!


Rest in peace, Earl Hindman.

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justfionablue 62 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

03-10-06, 06:11 PM (EST)
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52. "RE: Hey, Neighbor . . ."
*cracks open front door and grabs suspicious looking envelope off porch*

Thanks. I think.....



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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"

03-09-06, 02:03 AM (EST)
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36. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
Oh Mr. Internet POOOOlEeeezzzzz you stick with you're pole women..Lisastick will be enough challenge for you..you're a user, abuser, a$$munch cheating' son a b!tch..not interested tee hee unless you want to tell me how perty I am *snort* I'll take what I can get for free..kinda nice for a change teehee.
P.S. has it ever burnt so bad when you peed that you thought God was striking you dead for your sins?..thought you might know???
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GuyStartingOver 79 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

03-09-06, 11:44 AM (EST)
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40. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
You ignorant inbred overprivileged gold-diggin' ho, I could have a thousand exotic and truly gorgeous women banging down my headboard by tonight if I wanted while you spend yet another night in the bed of the first paying customer regardless of how disgusting he is, as long as he can pay to support your Master's Degree lifestyle on a GED education!! I would never want that skanky pooty enough to stoop to telling you.....

Why, Miss Christina, have I failed to tell you lately how beee-yoootiful you are? Your porcelain skin reminds me of the finest toilets I've puked in china dolls I've purchased in King Hong Kong. And your hair that Andy had butchered, I could just run my fingers through it all night. And your face is so slappable kissable! Your youth and energy make you such a marketable commodity vital young skank lady. Won't you please pleasure me spend a little time getting to know me better? I know that you could really learn to do like me if you gave me a hummer chance. What do you think? Won't you worship me just have a little sweaty jungle sex din-din with me? Even just a little cheap wine drink or two? I'm reaaalllllllllly not as bad as that beeyotch Lisa made you think that I am I'm worse.


I never let a little burning sensation get me down.

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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03-10-06, 01:00 AM (EST)
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47. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
You can stop bcc'ing me on these now, mmmkay?


Actually, I've got you filtered out as Spam and any other applicable potted meat.

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trikelady 82 desperate attention whore postings
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03-09-06, 11:52 AM (EST)
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41. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
What the hell is going on with those damn speedos? and now the damn bead store...hello??? uhmmmmm.....it's supposed to be all about me....remember poor little me, Kim? abused by daddy and mommy JUST dropped me off with my wittle suitcase. (note to self call drug store for refill on ALL meds TODAY!!!) Oh WoW! hey Christie got a spare valium? thanks... that should hold me over for a while, oh I can so make it through Jill's graduation hell night party, only one more night! THEN it's ALL about ME again. gonna party like it's 1999 aaaaaaaa Jill, sure I'll take some more wine...oh, got cheese? Jill you silly girl...what do you mean you ate it all? ok, sure I'll have more wine...gonna party like it's 1999.....ZZzzzzzzzzzz...sure I'll have some more...zzzzz

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"

03-09-06, 09:25 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
Allison baby...calm down.

I do have two boobs you know! I can nurse you on one and Jill on the other. Just not at the same time girls. OK?

*******************************************

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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"

03-09-06, 10:39 PM (EST)
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43. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
B!tch SHUT UP!!! about that damn pole! You think you got skills? Well, let me tell you a lil sumpthin' sumpthin'. I, Jiiiiiiillll...Tracey earned some green workin' the pole back in Miami when I was between radio gigs. Yeah, and not just any pole...the club owner took one look at me, and knew I had such star quality that he shipped in a genuine fireman's pole for me to dance on. I might not have gotten off the ground, but still, I heard many a man comment that he felt his world shake when I busted a move. I probably would have made good money in that career, too, if I didn't knock that guy in the 3rd row unconscious with my thigh. HATER!

When I danced, I used to shout out a cute phrase I made up all by myself...."SHOW ME THE MONEY!!", I'd yell. (Kinda clever, don't you think. Yeah, and it's totally ORIGINAL!!)

Love ya, Mean it!

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lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings
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03-10-06, 09:54 AM (EST)
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48. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
Oh I see..so that's why the earthquakes teehee.
Back in your day (uhmmm yeah right! LIARRRRRrrr) did you cover your pole in whipping cream first to get yourself motivated?
If/when you danced I would bet the crowd was the one shouting "show me the money" (poor souls) and then you just claimed it as your own.
Ok errrr well uhmmm I don't want to talk about this anymore!!!!!!

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pinksparkleguitar 1222 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"

03-10-06, 11:02 AM (EST)
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49. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
The Great wise, and honorable Buddha has been in intensive therapy for the Speedos incident. And because I had to hear John-Boy and Throw-up Lisa going at it. I just don't know what poor, old, lovable Buddha can do to get out of here. Buddha can't take it anymore! I haven't reached Nirvana in months, I have no pinky on my right finger . . . .no camera shots for quite a while . .. .hmmmmmmm. The only one who watches out for the wise yet immobile Buddha is Rhonda, although she always has that dang mirror. The great and Honorable Buddha meditates, hoping for divine intervention . . .

-grabs pencil and paper conveniently left by NuLisa who still hasn't written that love letter-

Dear HGTV -
This is you wise and honorable Buddha. Remember me? from that divine design show? I know I did some really innapproriate reincarnations on some people . . . .but I promise that house is more than enough punishment! Please take me back!!!
Sincerely, your humble Buddha

anyone got an envelope?



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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

03-10-06, 11:08 AM (EST)
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50. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
I already have your replacement lined up:

And oh how convenient, product placement comes with him gratis!


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justfionablue 62 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

03-10-06, 06:45 PM (EST)
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53. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
*neighbor sweeping randomly scattered beads off front porch*

Now where on earth is my garden gnome? I could have sworn it was here last night...


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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

03-11-06, 09:51 PM (EST)
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56. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
I? Run a kazillion-dollar production company. What do I need with your silly gnome?


(internal memo to Accounting Dept.): You can cancel the expense for the gnome. I got another one.

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susan765 166 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

03-10-06, 12:13 PM (EST)
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51. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
The car has been in the shop for the last week. Some "Witchy Women" poured something in my gas tank. Now I'm back on track and carting these crazy women here and there and my radio doesn't even work! I was just playing some Pearl Jam! Who doesn't like Pearl Jam?! The crazy person kept banging and smashing me saying I was out to get her! I think I need some Budda intervention.

Hey bead shop owner! Wanna work out a deal? I'll drive by your store once a week and you provide me with some nice peaceful mood beads to drown these whinning women out.

Artist: PEARL JAM Song: Last Kiss Album: Lost Dogs

Where, oh where, can my baby be? the lord took her away from
Me. she’s gone to heaven, so I’ve got to be good. so I can see my baby when i
Leave this world.

We were out on a date in my daddy’s car. we hadn’t driven very far. there in
The road, straight ahead. a car was stalled, the engine was dead.

I couldn’t stop, so I swerved to the right. I’ll never forget the sound that
Night. the screamin tires, the bustin glass. the painful scream that I heard
Last.

Oh where, oh where, can my baby be? the lord took her away from me. she’s gone
To heaven, so I’ve got to be good. so I can see my baby when I leave this world.

When I woke up the rain was pourin down. there were people standin all around.
Something warm flowing through my eyes. but somehow I found my baby that night.
I lifted her head, she looked at me and said. hold me darling, just a little
While. I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss. I found the love that i
Knew I had missed.

Well now she’s gone. even though I hold her tight. I lost my love, my life,
That night.

Oh where, oh where, can my baby be? the lord took her away from me. she’s gone
To heaven, so I’ve got to be good. so I can see my baby when I leave this
World.

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mbinkc 32 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

03-10-06, 10:14 PM (EST)
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54. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 5"
Oh great Buddah, did you happen to see
On today's show, there was a drownin' bee!

Please heal thyself, oh divine one
To save dees bees buzzin' 'round in da sun.

Whose got yo' finger, is that where yo' magic lies?
Was it da horny guy, or da beeyotch that fake cries?

I be thinkin' you da one that's gonna save us all
'Fore we all pile in da car and head straight for da wall.

***bows head***
***sobs...sniffs...***

No mo' drownin' bee
Please, for me, I be POETRI.

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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"

03-11-06, 08:57 PM (EST)
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55. "RE: Psssst, Poetri..."
<<whispers>> Can you write me some new catchphrases? I need some new sh!t to say...I think I might be overusing the "For the love of Christmas" thing, but I can't come up with anything on my own. My mind is blank.

But, uhhhhhhh, you know, this needs to stay between us. And, I got no money, so I can't, uhhhhh, you know...PAY you. But I can pay you in stuff I steal from the house. You like Omaha steaks, Poetri? Or maybe you like art? Would you be uhhhhhhh, like, you know, interested in some decorative pears? Or maybe I could get you the iPod they keep by the computer? You like Jenny Craig prepackaged food, Poetri?

Love Ya, Mean it!

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"

03-11-06, 11:31 PM (EST)
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57. "RE: Psssst, Poetri..."
(Iyanla is getting into her Mercedes. She looks over at the passenger seat where she had left a shopping bag from her favorite boutique, "Dr. DuPrince's Voodoo & HooDoo Supplies")

HEY!!! (digging frantically through the bag) It's missin'! Where's my "Lucky Hand Lady With a Big Butt Spell Book"? That was special ordered from Haiti! I'VE BEEN ROBBED!

What the hell is this? (picking up something from the floor) Chicken bones? Hmm...I can use those. Hostess cupcake wrappers? Somebody's been messin' in here!


*******************************************

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Ingenue1983 55 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

03-12-06, 04:51 PM (EST)
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58. "RE: Psssst, Poetri..."
LAST EDITED ON 03-12-06 AT 05:00 PM (EST)

*edited to make the picture a little smaller so those with dial-up don't have to wait forever to load the page*

Hey,

I'm an unhappy, underpaid editor who smuggles out tapes, still shots, letters, etc... you know, things that end up on the cutting room floor.

I'll be dropping by now and again when the guard takes a bathroom break WITH his 'Readers Digest...' (He has IBS = Irritable Bowel Syndrome, so we um.... well, we steer clear of the WC after he takes his 'reading breaks.....' hehe) So, that is when I get the chance to dart out with these precious little snippets under my coat...

I keep telling Mr. Murray that THIS is what people want to see. This will show him.....


My first offering is a little something that happens all the time. It's what goes on when Allison, Jill & Iyanla are sharing the same air space.


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mbinkc 32 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

03-12-06, 10:04 PM (EST)
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59. "Yo, Ingenue!"
Poetri be LMAO at yo' cutting room floor snippet!! I be laughin' so hard I can't even be rhymin' nuthin'!!


I not be forgettin' 'bout you Jill. I still be laughin' too hard to compose myself!

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

03-13-06, 00:19 AM (EST)
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60. "RE: Psssst, Poetri..."
So it's Real World: Key WeirdWest. Big whoop.


But I do blame Canada.

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