Fo those of you who do not go over to the IH Forum.
Saw a post today that stated an opinion, along with an apology to the mods that they weren't trying to bash someone - and they weren't. Made me think that, just maybe, some posters don't quite understand what we mean by "poster bashing".
Maybe I can help. Actually, it probably fits in with at least one show message, in that it has to do with language and how you use it, to convey an opinion. It has applications outside of the board.
"You" can be a loaded word. It's often followed by something like "don't understand", "are being judgemental", "are full of s--t"... Add your own examples. "You", particularly when it isn't a universal "you", but one directed at a particular post, almost always is potential warning word. (Not always, but if you use it, it's worth doing a preview of your post to see how it could be interpreted through someone else's eyes.)
"I", when used without an accompanying "you" is generally a "good" word. "I think", "I feel", "I believe"... These are statements of your own opinion.
Opinions are what make up a threaded discussion board. It wouldn't be any fun, and none of us would learn and grow from the exchange of ideas, if all of us believed exactly the same thing - or "saw" exactly the same thing. We need to learn to see things through someone else's eyes. Eyes that have developed through that persons own life experiences.
When someone says "How dare you judge so-and-so. You haven't lived, or done, or seen, or whatever...", they are doing exactly what they are complaining of. They are judging the person they are addressing.
This is a message board - not a reality show that posters are being paid to appear upon. There is no requirement for anyone to post their life details to justify their opinion to others. It is their opinion. Plain and simple. Your experiences are different, leading you to a different opinion? Great! Post your opinion. Of the show or the show participant - not the poster that you disagree with.
As for the show, and show participants? It is a paid opportunity. The show exists to make money. You don't like the show? Feel free to bash it. You do like the show? Feel free to support it.
The participants tried out to appear on it and expose their lives to the general public. You don't like them? Feel free to say so. Criticism is part of the package of signing up and exposing your life choices. You do like them? Feel free to post that, too. They're just people, people make mistakes, atone for them, and, hopefully, move on.
Again, they signed up and tried out for the publicity and the possible opportunity of receiving help. Someone that likes them (or their behaviors) is probably a breath of fresh air. After all, if they thought they were perfect they wouldn't be on the show. Everyone can use both some criticism and some support in their lives. They've just chosen to get it, whichever it is, on national television.
Just leave each other out of it and you'll never have to worry about receiving a "bashing" warning, or worse, a bashing ban.
Remember - Preview is your friend. But remember to think of it like this: Preview is to see what your post might look like (content, spelling, grammar, etc.) to someone that isn't you.
Sigs by Bob, entirely accurate renditions of nature