Previously on BB8
By a slim margin of 4-3 Kail is evicted from the BB House over Eric. Hey, isn't this the same Kail who was promised safety from Daniele after Kail bowed out of the HOH competition resulting in Daniele being HOH? Hey, isn't this the same dishonest Daniele who cheated on her boyfriend? Granted she probably didn't give Nick an "Erika" in the bedroom (last season's viewers know what I'm talking about) but necking and sucking-face in bed constitutes cheating and dishonesty in my book.
In the HOH competition, Christmas came early for Jessica as Santa Chen helped her win HOH. Arguably the worst host in Reality TV history asked a question to Jessica and Eric to guess which HG wanted to flirt with all the girls. This was as close to a no-brainer as you can get with Nick being the only horny toad this season who would have said that. Eric buzzes in first which would have caused Jessica to sit on the sidelines, but Chenbot short-circuited and blabbered Nick's name beforehand giving Jessica new life. As a result the helium-sucking, squeaky-voiced Plastic Barbie doll "wins" HOH. The Late Night Crew ecstatically celebrates. Anyone who had "Watching a gay man orgasm" on their Ten Things To See before they die, could have watched Dustin during the celebration and now die a little happier.
WEEK #6 SYNOPSIS
We begin the week with Tommy Lee walking around calling everyone liars. I call him Tommy Lee for three reasons 1) His name is censored in this forum, 2) The obvious resemblance, 3) His ex-wife must look like Heather Locklear and Pam Anderson combined to produce a smokin' daughter like Daniele. Then again, one look at Jen's mother puts a tsunami-size splash in the gene pool theory.
Tommy Lee and his daughter know they are at risk. Daniele proclaims she can't live in the House with a bunch of liars. Oh Really?...remember Kail...remember your boyfriend back at home... Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. OH NO; I hope Jameka was deep in prayer and didn't hear that. We wouldn't want her playing the Race Card now.
Unveiling Jessica's HOH room was uneventful. The only noteworthy moment was Dustin tripping over his tongue when seeing a picture of Jessica's brother in his Marine uniform.
Eric is given America's Choice as the HG for him to try to get nominated--Dustin. Eric is crestfallen. But his task is made much easier when Dustin volunteers to be nomminated as a pawn to ensure Tommy Lee's eviction.
In the most anti-climatic nomination ceremony in a long while, Plastic Barbie discards the Dustin option and hides behind the "safe" 5-4 LNC majority to nominate Tommy Lee and his daughter. Tommy Lee says "Thank you" to Jessica. Plastic Barbie unable to recognize sarcasm when she hears it, raises her squeaky voice an octave higher and replies "Your welcome". Eric gives Plastic Barbie a congratulatory hug. Not that it was such a gutsy decision on her part; actually it was more of a lame attempt to cop another feel off the object of his desire.
Blessed is jaMEEKa, for she shall inherit Tommy Lee's wrath
Tommy Lee is now on a mission to do whatever it takes to keep his daughter in the House. His plan is to make everyone despise him. HMMM, allow me to use a reverse analogy. If someone wanted to make everyone like him, doesn't that mean he is hated and is trying to win their favor? So if Tommy Lee wants to make the HGs hate him, is he insinuating that he may be well liked now? Sorry, I guess I'm getting to analytical for the feeble minds CBS casts as HGs every season.
At any rate, Tommy Lee decides to target the God Squad (Jameka and Amber) first. There is no shortage of ammunition to bring these hypocritcal HGs to a breaking point. I grew up going to Parochial school where the Bible was a required text book for studies. I remember reading on many occasions that honoring God should be done in private. The Good Book even goes so far to cite the hypocrites who pray on street corners for attention, but God sees the ones who worship in private and they will be rewarded. Conversely, Jameka is determined to use every stationary object in the BB House as her makeshift alter for public display. Consequently she is mockingly serenated with church organ music in the background, and "rewarded" with Tommy Lee's abuse.
Dustin, who is affectionately referred to as "Princess", just stares off into space during Tommy Lee's tirades. Perhaps he thinks his exposed chest hairs might scare ED away?
Eric refuses to take his eyes off Tommy Lee's face while getting b!tch slapped. Maybe he's enviously starring at Tommy Lee's eyebrow ring and wishes it was on his own nipple? Actually it's more the look of a deer in the headlights.
Tommy Lee, Daniele, Plastic Barbie, Zach, Jameka, and Princess are competing. In turn each must attempt to drink 10 BB shots ranging from something as simple as a glass of water to a vile mixture including pig's feet. Each successfully consumed shot translates to a shot they take in a lawn croquet game. Whoever compiles the most points wins the POV.
Zach decides he's safe this week and doesn't even try. Jameka wants to win; her mind is willing but her gag reflex is weak. Speaking of gag reflex, Jessica's effort has inspired Mattel to unveil a new line of dolls--the Throw-Up Barbie!
Daniele puts out a valiant effort, but she's no match for Princess and Tommy Lee both of whom downed all 10 potable potions. Getting the maximum ten croquet shots, it becomes a two man (make that a one man/one princess) competiton. Dustin puts up a tough to beat score of 32. Tommy Lee has his work cut out for him. On his 10th and final shot he needs to knock his croquet ball through four wickets and hit the golden stake for five points and a 33 point victory. The man is crude; the man is obnoxious; the man is abusive...but the man is clutch. Tommy Lee hits the golden stake and wins the POV!
I'm not my father's daughter!!!
While the LNC is having one of their many pow-wows in the HOH room, Daniele barges in tearfully pleading to ask everyone to stop punishing her for her father's actions. Well at least she tries to make a plea since motormouth Jameka interrupts her with every third word. Even Zach (the invisible one) makes a cameo appearance this episode and politely asks Jameka to shut her fat-a$$ mouth and allow Daniele to finish. LNC appears sympathetic as Daniele walks out of the HOH room and runs to daddy to announce their plan may have worked.
Three cheers for America!
Eric goes into the Dairy Room to be given America's task. He must give the silent treatment to a HG of America's choice. It's Jessica! I must admit I wasn't too thrilled about this twist to begin with, but maybe I'm warming up to the concept now. Of course yarmulke boy has as much chance completing this task as getting served a pork chop at a bar mitzvah.
Eric decided he's going to crawl into bed and play sick in an attempt to complete the task, but it doesn't take long before Plastic Barbie is at his bedside. He tells Jessica he may be sick. What matzoh man may not have realized is uttering even one word to Jessica breaks the silent treatment and results in a failed task. But you've got to give Eric kudos for trying.
In a ceremony as equally anti-climatic as the nominations, Tommy Lee does the obvious and uses his POV to take his spoiled daughter off the block. Plastic Barbie now needs to choose a replacement. Since Dustin volunteered, and Eric has been pitching him as America's Choice, and Jen planted a seed in Jessica's mind that Tommy Lee and Princess may have a secret alliance (sure, and Hillary Clinton may chose Monica Lewinsky as her running mate) Dustin is the replacement nomination.
Princess makes a beeline to the Diary Room and does his worst Amber crying imitation as he cockily proclaims his safety. Tommy Lee is elated since historically pawns have been victimized on numerous occasions.
More Dairy Room Confessions
Plastic Barbie proclaims that she trust's amERICa's player "100%". And they will "take on the House together." What she doesn't realize is the "together" includes millions of Americans telling the puppet what to do. In the end this may work out beautifully for our Barbie Doll. So in Jessica's case ignorance is truly bliss.
Dustin continues to be arrogant. Speaking about Daniele, he says "voting out Nick cut off her right leg..voting out ED will cut off her left..the B!tch got nothing."
Zach, who had just cooked dinner for Jessica, trades his bunny suit for a dress, when he tells us that he gave his word to Jessica that he will vote out ED, unless she tells him otherwise. Sorry Zach, you've got a much chance becoming her Ken Doll as Eric has modeling for the new GI Joe figure.
Speaking of which, Eric must now read America's Choice for eviction--Dustin. Eric is not surprised, but like a trooper he walks out to do what he's been accustom--being America's tool.
What are Boobs???
Eric goes into the HOH room where Jessica is in bed. Eric lies next to her to talk strategy. He becomes flustered when Plastic Barbie takes off her pullover and sits up in her undershirt. Barbie announces she has boobs. Duh, oh really??? Eric asks, "What are boobs?" Jessica replies, "These are boobs," pointing to her ample cleavage. Either this loser has never been with a girl before, or America's Player is auditioning for the male lead in the sequel of the 40-Year Old Virgin!
Jessica asks if Eric is feeling hot. Any normal hot-blooded male would see this as a perfect opening, but this total loser answers, "no" referencing his fake fever. Where do they find these morons???
Tommy Lee works Eric unaware that he already has his vote, and promises Eric that if he remains in the House, he and Daniele will not put up Eric or Jess for eviction.
Eric tells the girl with boobs that he's voting Dustin.
The Live Vote
Everyone is sitting in the living room talking with Julie and getting ready for the live vote. Julie asks Daniele if she would have done the same thing for her dad if she won the POV. She answers that she's lucky she wasn't in that position. Translation: Daniele would sooner put her face in a pan of muriatic acid before the spoiled brat would pass up an opportunity to save her precious self.
What would a week be without Amber's face turning into Hurricane Katrina. Julie makes that happen when she asks Amber if she misses her daughter. What we don't know is if all her tears were over her daughter, or if he's upset that Julie didn't also include her dog in that question.
This is the part of the show I wish I had TIVO to fastfoward. BB talks with Dustin's Ex Joe. Joe, still crying sour grapes, says he's glad America can now see how arrogant and greedy Dustin is. Yadda-Yadda-Yadda. Blah, Blah, Blah.
We go back to the HOH room where Julie is privately talking to Jessica. Barbie reiterates that she trusts Eric 100%. Julie asks if there is a romantic interest with him. Jess answers "Who knows" once we leave the House. Translation: Eric's crash course on female anatomy is the closest he'll ever come to scoring with Barbie.
One by one each HG casts their vote. They start off with the four obvious:
Amber - votes ED
amERICa - votes DUSTIN
Jameka - votes ED
Daniele -votes DUSTIN
Commercial break to add to the suspense. Whoppie!
Zach (whose first order of business when the season's over is to go to a dressmaker to make an outfit for his 6'5" frame) apparently does what "Jessica told me to do otherwise" and casts his henpecked vote for DUSTIN.
Jen - makes it official and votes DUSTIN
If you heard a THUMP when Julie read the result, it was Dustin's jaw hitting the floor when he heard by a 4-2 vote he has been evicted.
Sitting with Julie he is still stunned. He admits he made a mistake by being a pawn. But salvages some consolation that he is on the Jury and he made it further than his Ex Joe.
The goodbye messages range from Tommy Lee rubbing it in the Princess' face to Eric claiming something went seriously wrong and he'll probably be joining him in the Jury House soon to Amber tearfully professing that she loves Dustin SOOOOOO much. Well why wouldn't she...she found a male friend that won't result in another abortion.
HOH Competition- Strange Visitors
Throughout the week various characters including a midget mad hatter, a barbershop quartet, a pirate on stilts, live bunnies, and a mime statue provided clues needed to win this HOH competition.
Julie asks a series of true or false qestions and the last HG standing will be crowned HOH.
Q1 - The pirate on stilts said always drink downstream of the herd. The answer is FALSE...you drink upstream.
All the HG are happy, but Jen guessed True because this "intelligent" woman with two degrees couldn't manipulate the True/False indicator properly. She is out.
Q2 - In the barbershop quartet only two had red bands on their hats. The answer is TRUE. Tommy Lee and Zach guessed False.
Q3 - The three bunnies had an ace of hearts, nine of clubs, and a five of diamonds tied around their necks. The answer is TRUE. The boy still wondering what boobs are guessed False and is out.
Daniele and Amber remain...
Q4 - The mini-mad hatter had seven cards on his hat. The answer is FALSE. He had six. Amber guessed incorrectly.
Guess what Dustin...the B!tch got something...it's called Head of Household.
So since America has spoken and with Daniele the new HOH, Tommy Lee gets to rock-and-roll at least two more weeks in the BB House. So wear your raincoat and be prepared to do some kneeling since I predict alot of praying and crying in the episodes to follow.