Pretty decent episode for me to do my inaugural commentary on. Here goes...
Previously on BB "all-stars"...Back to Episode #24 when they compressed one week (that's 308 minutes in Danielle time) into one hour for the surprise double eviction. Danielle and George are voted out respectively.
In Episode #25 we have the HOH competition. Since Janelle as outgoing HOH is not allowed to participate, the other HGs actually have a chance to win. Mike makes the most of the opportunity and edges out his life support (Will) by one point guessing which day a series of BB events occured this season. Operation Double Date is in full swing, but at the nomination ceremony Operation Chilltown prevails with Mike choosing to keep Will safe and putting up their "Yoko Ono" candidates for eviction.
We start Episode #26 with the F4 moving around the house. You have Janelle (the greatest dominator of competitions in BB history), Will (arguably the greatest manipulator in BB history), Boogie (Will's lapdog) and Erika (the lapdog's B!tch). I know B!tch is a censored word on these boards, but I wanted to keep with the "dog" reference and Erika seems to wear her "Ho" title like a badge of honor.
Next, BB takes us to the Jury House in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico where Marjealous, Howie and James are forced to evacuate because of Hurricane John approaching. They move to a new Jury House (location not mentioned).
Marcellas continues to whine and complains he has to put up with another hurricane--Hurricane Howie. The tension between them remains as thick as pea soup. Howie jumps in the pool and Marci says the pool needs more chlorine.
H - "Why, because I'm dirtying the pool"
M - "No, if we add more chlorine it'll kill what's IN the pool."
H - "No one likes you. You weren't voted out because you're a good player; you were voted out because everyone hates you."
M - I can't read lips, so not sure of Marjealous' response.
The three guys wait in anticipation to see who walks through the door next. Danielle enters and asks if they were expecting her. Howie has a smile on his face wide enough to swallow his ears. Marci jumps up and down like a giddy schoolgirl. And James walks away in disgust.
As Danielle hugs everyone she says she was "scumbagged". I don't know about anyone else, but I'm getting sick and tired of "backdoored" and "scumbagged" being the buzz words this season. Sorry folks, but no one was backdoored, and scumbagged is not accurate. You were all victims of circumstance. The circumstance is Janielle kicking your butts in HOH and POV competitions that had you won would have allowed you to save your own hides. So instead of taking matters in your OWN hands, you were forced to rely on OTHER HGs who you were counting on to watch your back. They watched your back allright...especially as you walked out the door thanks to your own ineptness. So deal with it!
As the four toast Danielle's arrival, in walks CG. Actually his entrance is more like a laughing clown popping out of a jack-in-the-box. Wearing boxing headgear he delivers the DVDs.
When they watch CG's nomination and eviction, Howie still sore that George turned on him, rubs it in. CG tells Howie to shut-up. Howie calls George a Fat #####. George tells Howie to grow up and stop acting like a 10-year old. OK Georgie, I guess one doesn't start wearing tin foil on their body until they're 11?
In a classic case of the pot calling the kettles black, James steps in and asks that everyone act like adults. Hey, what's wrong with you guys...follow the example of a man who crys like a little baby when a girl took the dolly that little Jimmy wanted. And then continues to rant and rave that the show is fixed because he can't win.
Figuring we've had enough of the stooges in Sequesterville, we return to the BB House.
Everyone is getting prepared for the POV. They all agree this is the most important challenge to date. Not only do you control who goes on the nomination block but your vote, and your vote alone, decides the sixth juror.
The HGs walk outside to see a four cubicle setup. In each cubicle there's a star with a series of 10 events on each side of the star. The HGs need to place a disk with the face of a former HG on the corresponding clue. Whoever places all the faces correctly on the star puzzle first wins the final POV.
I guess a well written commentary would lead up to the suspense of who wins POV. But why even bother; I'll announcing the obvious--Janelle Wins (Surprise, Surprise). Erika is totally bummed, Mike takes the "What else is new" approach, and Will is elated since Janelle's win assures him a spot in the F3.
I'm not sure anyone else saw this, but a bird kept flying around in the background while the POV competition was being played outside. OH NO; I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT. DARN, now all the LOJH will say a "little birdie" gave Janelle the answers and we'll be subjected to more of the lame conspiracy theories and how the show is "rigged" for Janelle to win!
Alright I apologize for my sarcasm. I know there are those who still believe that. Hey, you never know? It may be true. Afterall Elvis may still be alive, the Divinci Code may be real, and Neil Patrick Harris may slide down everyone's chimney on Dec. 25!
Erika is in a bind and scrambling more than my eggs on Sunday morning. She realizes she can't sleep with the power holder this week, so she takes the "whoa is me" approach and pitifully tells Janelle she doesn't have a chance. Over several bottles of wine and a few packs of cigarettes they begin to compare notes about Chilltown. To their "surprise" they discover they have both been told the same lines. They realize they have been played.
WOW...give those girls applications for MENSA. Our only question is what took both of you so long? Wait a minute...the test to get into MENSA is TIMED. Better take back those applications.
As Erika puffs circles of smoke into the air, she swears on her mom to take Janelle to the F2. This is the same person that swore to quit smoking when her grandfather died of emphysema. Now there's a promise you can hang your hat on.
Will, ever the smart one, observes Erika with Janelle and thinks he sees the writing on the wall. He renames Operation Double Date to Operation Mistake. Boogie, ever the moron, refuses to believe that will happen.
After a night of restless sleep for Janelle, the four are sitting ready for the POV ceremony. Julie asks each of them how their friendship will continue outside of the House. Will and Janielle say they will remain good friends. Erika says she can't predict the future. Well there's the understatement of the show. Especially in light of the fact it took her two months to realize she was being used like a dirty dishrag. Boogie, the idiot he is, boldly states we'll have to see how Erika votes should he be in the F2. Julie responds, "So you think she won't be in the F2 with you?" Boogie answers that he's just having fun.
Well the fun is officially over for CT as Janelle takes herself of the nomination block and drops a bombshell voting out Will. Boogie is stunned. With the lapdog realizing his master is out of the House and his B!tch is no longer in heat, he stares off into space.
As Will sits with Julie he takes it well and recognizes BB as the game it is. They play the taped good-bye messages. Boogie's is a sentimental good-bye citing their 5-year friendship. Erika, who survived through osmosis thanks to Janelle's win, shows lack of class and gloats over Will leaving the House. Finally Janelle blames all the mistakes she made this season on CT (yea, whatever) and if they are true friends they will remain that way even though she voted him out.
Now for the climax of the episode...the final HOH competition. As always the competiton is in two parts. The first part is called "Mount HOH". They walk out to the backyard to find an impressive looking man-made volcano. The three HGs climb onto one side and with their backs against the volcano grab the key above them with both hands. If either hand lets go of the key or their feet touches the mat below them, they are out. Julie warns them things will get more difficelt. Translation--expect lots of goopy slime to come oozing from the top of the volcano and all over the participants.
Immediately Mike asks Julie if she remembers Richard Hatch. Julie answers "Yes". Mike jumps off predicting that both need to take HIM to the Finals. As Janelle turns to see Mike walking away, one of her hands inadvertenly comes off the key and just like that Erika wins part one of the final HOH competiton. No eruption, no slime, no long drawn-out hard-fought battle.
CBS must be thrilled with that result considering the time, manpower and money it took to produce such as impressive prop. Oh well, just another debacle to an otherwise sub-par season.
Part Two will be played out on Thursday which may prove to be just as anti-climatic if Boogie is serious about throwing the competiton. This will lead to the Season Finale on Sept. 12th.
From everyone at BB responsible for this season they have the audacity to call "all-stars"--Good Night!
Well that's my first crack at writing a commentary. For those who enjoyed it, Thanks. For those who didn't, sorry you wasted your time reading it.