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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Be The Living Damned Week #2: Raw Meat, Heavily Seared."
Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-20-06, 03:39 PM (EST)
 
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"Be The Living Damned Week #2: Raw Meat, Heavily Seared." |
Let's talk about communications. I said communications. Can't any of you hear me? Let's try this again. I SAID COMMUNICATIONS, YOU BLITHERING BUNCH OF BLISTER-FILLED BLUBBER! Did everyone get that? Is everyone up and ready to use their ears for something other than that charming pass-the-Q-tip-through-the-head trick you Americans inexplicably find so charming at parties? Everyone? Wait. This isn't everyone. Oh, here's our deli chef. I think I'll call you Sara, which starts with an 'S' like Superman, which apparently is why you're late because you tried to rip your blouse open again and the buttons got stuck on your glasses. All right, now -- communications. Let's see you play tag team in the kitchen for three dishes. Here comes the tortelini. And still more tortelini. And yet more (bleeped) tortelini. Apparently the men are heavily rooting for Italy in the next match. Traitors. And the women are producing -- no (blurred) tortelini. If I threw all of you into a sausage grinder and molded the best bits of what came out into a human form, could I get half a complete chef? Eight hundred percent of a complete (censored) idiot? Still, it's taste that counts, so ladies, let's go to a yacht. Here's some practical advice about running a restaurant which I doubt any of you will ever get to use. You, Rabbit Food Girl, why do you keep asking me to think about you? I have thought about you. I think you can't (censored) cook. I'm starting to wonder why you're really here. Why are you looking at me like that? Do you ever blink? Men, I want you to do laundry. You have no idea how many sweat stains Tom's left on the place. And Keith. And Giacomo's hair. I hear you reviewing recipes. Very intelligent. Scott, stop telling them to do intelligent things: they need to figure this out on their own. Well, let's get to dinner and see if they learned anything. Why do I ask myself questions I already know the answers to? Oh, God. What a bloody fiasco this (censored) balls-up was. Tom, where's your passion? Your fire? Giacomo, where's your fire? You have no fire. It went out half an hour ago and you're just now noticing? Marabel, I need Lamb Wellington up here. No, not Lamb Rawington. If that thing was any less done, I'd be shaving wool off it, which is something I should really save for Giacomo. Tom, you've burned your hand! Has it given you fire? Someone once told me fire is life. I stuffed him into a (censored) oven. Clearly an idiot, that one. Women, you almost got to the desert. I'd congratulate you, but I'm afraid you'll reach it next time and I'll get to see how you screw that up. Men, you all stunk. Every last one of you. Especially Keith, who hasn't washed his boxers in a month. Nominate each other, now. Tom and Giacomo? No passion versus no fire. Well, greasy potato tastes horrible raw. Giacomo, get out. There. Only eight of you left. In theory, one of you can cook. The rest of you can just stew. What did I do to deserve this? 
(Roleplaying game where people take the parts of the HK staff, contestants, dinners, props, and incidental characters. The following parts are claimed:
Gordon (host)
Mary Ann (sous'chef)
Jean Phillipe (matre'd)
Heather (contestant)
Giacomo (contestant)
Virginia (contestant)
Tom (contestant)
Rachel (contestant) Everyone and everything else is up for grabs. See the signup thread at http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID86/89.shtml to take a part and request a sigpic: ones for the remaining contestants are already available, and you can play eliminated characters if you want to. You can also take on the kitches, the suite, hot tub -- anything inanimate which might be vaguely interesting -- and anyone can drop in and be a victim diner at any time. Just keep the banter to the Be The threads as much as possible: people have been known to get confused and think we're the actual contestants. Seriously. Three, two, one -- interact!)
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Cyndimaus 3117 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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06-20-06, 04:34 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Living Damned Week #2: Raw Meat, Heavily Seared." |
I can't (bleeped) believe that Chef said Sara was better than me during the dinner service! I am the best! How dare anyone do better! Didn't I burn my hand and try to keep working? Didn't I gracefully bow out of the competition in order not to hinder my team? Yet Chef had the nerve to call Sara the best!And don't get me started on Garret. I can not believe he would say that horribly sexist thing to me, of all people. Can he not tell that I am superior to him in all ways, especially since I am a woman. He had better watch out cause I might do something really mean and petty to him when he's not looking. And then there's Tom. I realize that I am THE best one in Hell's Kitchen but did he really have to burn his hand in imitation of me? Give me a break! These morons would wither and die without me in the kitchen! 
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sporkman 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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06-20-06, 05:00 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Be The Living Damned Week #2: Raw Meat, Heavily Seared." |
Giacomo,
You spineless <censored>! Why couldn't you atleast turn on the oven correctly? I tried my best to get removed from the show. I was a slouching sweating, back-talking blob during the reward challenge. I burned my hand like Heather. I acted like I didn't give a <censored>. I acted like a complete moron in the middle of service. I pretended to have a breakdown by talking to myself out on the patio. I had three nominations to your one to kick me out. I claimed to be the smarted and best chef, when I clearly was not. Still, Chef Ramsey chose to kick you out of his kitchen. All because you couldn't turn the <censored> oven on. Now I'm stuck here with Chef Pimp Daddy and Chef 495869707 from the distinguished Texas D.O.C. Culinary Institute. What do I <censored> have to do to get away from these two clowns? Please Chef Ramasy, reconsider. Take Giacamo back, send me home instead. 
More day old tortelini, anyone?
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-26-06, 05:41 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Be The Living Damned Week #2: Raw Meat, Heavily Seared." |
And he wonders why I abuse him.You know what keeps Scotland and England from fracturing apart forever? The single thing we both agree on: the French. They must be punished. They must be humiliated. They must -- work for me. Red kitchen: your goal tonight is to complete a dinner service. Blue kitchen: your goal is to make Jean Phillipe go around apologizing for three hours. You can never get enough of a Frenchman apologizing. It's such a rare thing: you have to savor it. Carry on, Jean Phillipe.
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