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"Hmph."
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Conferences Hell's Kitchen Forum (Protected)
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Colonel Zoidberg 3645 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"

09-23-10, 08:22 AM (EST)
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"Hmph."
So it's up to me to start things off. Figures - a thread about a show involving gourmet chefs started off by a lobster.

No matter. I'm hard-pressed to call any of these boneheads "gourmet" anything yet.

Let's see. One suicide by gumbo. One great hairdo gone - and to think, the hair in Nicaragua outlasted the hair in Hell. And one person who couldn't make sushi.

All we have is a karate-chopping lunatic, a bunch of guys who are evidently fair-weather friends, perfectly content to chilax and pal around when the wine's flowing and they win a sushi challenge by the skin of Chef Morimoto's teeth, but tearing each other's heads off when the girls beat them by the equivalent of a fifty-six to negative three score in football, and that's counting the fact that they took a knee on every offensive down from the middle of the second quarter forward...oh yeah, and someone whose idea of "gourmet" is fried chicken and raw asparagus. I make a mean fried chicken. Do I call myself a gourmet chef? Hardly.

For me to say these people make me miss Autumn is saying little. For me to say I'm probably not alone in this matter? That's saying more.

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Hmph. Estee 09-23-10 1
   RE: Hmph. mindy23 09-23-10 2
   RE: Hmph. Belle Book 09-23-10 3
 RE: Hmph. jbug 09-24-10 4
 RE: Hmph. grit 09-24-10 5
   RE: Hmph. foonermints 09-24-10 6
       RE: Hmph. grit 09-25-10 7
           RE: Hmph. foonermints 09-28-10 8
               and the biggest mistake of this sea... krismiss2us 09-28-10 9
                   RE: and the biggest mistake of this... Seana 10-02-10 10
                       RE: and the biggest mistake of this... grit 10-03-10 11
                           RE: and the biggest mistake of this... Colonel Zoidberg 10-04-10 12

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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09-23-10, 08:58 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Hmph."
Last might made me feel like Cast To Lose wasn't just in action, it had taken over the casting department and started running production in its spare time. (Shots of people receiving admission notes? So now it's Big Brother in a kitchen.) The only person who thinks Sabrina has a chance of winning this game is the weary blonde decked out in glasses, suspenders, and attitude. And as for Raj... I've seen him before, only he was shorter, Canadian, a lawyer, and his name happened to be Brent. Anyone remember Brent? Would you like to stop now?

Throw in people who can't make salad, the forecast reincarnation of Hell's Bitches, the fatal combination of Russian macho with Brooklyn attitude, then The Gumbo Of Death, and it all adds up to a single question: just how badly does Gordon want his Masterchefs back? At least both David & Whitney could get an appetizer, entree, and dessert out in two hours. One of each, sure, but that's more than the blue kitchen managed in the second service.

Oh, and then there's Vinny. Vinny from Queens: I think he called in to WFAN last night and spent five minutes rambling about the Jets. 'Don't order the PSLs, because you won't finish paying for them in under two decades.' He can stay, but his hair has to go. On the bright side, we just found a new way to soak up oil spills, which should come in handy the next time Trevor tries to make salad.

I don't want to throw them under the helicopter. I want to arc them over it. With the drop point in the middle of the blades. And I would, but Sabrina's taken every place in the line for the next two months.

And the opening credits? Are on drugs.

This is gonna be the longest short season in recent memory.

Antonia? She was the lucky one...

Obviously he was saving all that cursing up.

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mindy23 1319 desperate attention whore postings
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09-23-10, 10:13 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Hmph."
Only saw the 2nd half, so was a bit lost, but not enough to realize this group of goofs are making Chef Gordon look more than desperate!

I predict there will be so much bleeping that we will barely have a conversation coming out of the kitchens AT ALL!

And Sabrina the Teenaged Witch? Who died and made her head Chef? Vinny? What the heck? Didn't we have a "Vinny" the Loser last season? Are they recycling these guys now??

It's all too much for me. Send home the Alabama boy-why not? Everyone in Alabama knows how to make sushi, after all! My momma sure did-we ate it every single day! NOT! Whatever...

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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09-23-10, 04:40 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Hmph."
LAST EDITED ON 09-23-10 AT 04:41 PM (EST)

I missed much of the first half thanks to Survivor, but I could sure tell that the guys in the second half were awful. On the bright side, I think I like Gail.

Unfortunately, I remember Brent from The Apprentice. I never thought of Raj being like him until now, but yeah -- he's a lot like Brent. I'm missing Jay from last season now.


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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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09-24-10, 09:20 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: Hmph."
This could very well be the season that ends it for me.
They could not have gotten worse cooks or more drama if they tried ---- oh, excuse me! that's exactly what they did!

The confessionals - especially Raj - are getting more and more scripted - worse than BB. I expect some of that on BB - that's what it's all about. But these are supposed to be chefs who are trying to win a $250,000 year job.

Forget the drama; just cook.

And Gordon? this means you too. I enjoyed Masterchef; it was about cooking.
You should be ashamed of yourself this season.

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grit 4866 desperate attention whore postings
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09-24-10, 09:58 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Hmph."
I finally watched it last night. I hated the way they started the show. Usually they build the negative editing over the course of a show or two, but they hit us over the head with so much negative editing in the first five minutes? I almost didn't want to keep watching. But I soldiered on - mainly because it's like seeing an accident on the highway. It's really awful and gruesome but there's some inbred instict to want to see what happens anyway.

I guess all that negative editing will makes it easier to know which ones are not going to win. It would take quite the redemption edit (and a massive miracle) for any of those idiots to actually win this thing. I know I had negative opinions of a few of them before they even started cooking, courtesy of that opening sequence.

The signature dishes usually reveal which ones have the most talent, but I don't remember anyone's dish standing out (other than the botulism gumbo and the fried chicken). I'm wondering how much more culinary talent will be forthcoming - if any. I know in past seasons the first episode or 2 made me think that no one had talent enough to win, but somehow someone always ended up shining through.

I also hate that they usually keep one person who obviously can't win because they are so out there that the producers feel they will add to the ratings (Lacey, Jen, and now Raj all come to mind). MasterChef was so much better. But I'll keep watching - I like a good roadside accident.

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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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09-24-10, 08:03 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Hmph."
I also hate that they usually keep one person who obviously can't win because they are so out there

Not everyone can be conservative.

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grit 4866 desperate attention whore postings
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09-25-10, 03:37 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Hmph."

another agman creation

How insulting - I was just called conservative by the sexy Quaker Oats man...

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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-10, 01:24 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Hmph."
It's a trouble, I know.
Some troubles are fun!
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krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-10, 04:50 PM (EST)
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9. "and the biggest mistake of this season..."
where the hell is JP? He's like, ummmm, the best! Who the freak did they get to, dare i say, replace JP? OMG They just can't do that to me!
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Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings
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10-02-10, 01:43 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: and the biggest mistake of this season..."
I agree! I loved Jean-Philippe. So the new guy's name is James and he sounded British. We'll see if I can like him after so long with JP.

I don't even care about the female sous-chef, since they can't seem to keep one, but I rather like Chef Scott. He sounds like a drill sergeant.


Wheel of tribe

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grit 4866 desperate attention whore postings
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10-03-10, 09:00 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: and the biggest mistake of this season..."
I like the looks on the female sous-chef's face. She (Chef Andy?) is always looking at the girls like they came from out of space. I think I've heard her make a couple of snarky comments, but yeah, I also prefer it when Chef Scott reams the guys a new one.


I got sliced!

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Colonel Zoidberg 3645 desperate attention whore postings
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10-04-10, 08:28 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: and the biggest mistake of this season..."
It's almost easier to get a compliment out of Chef Gordon than it is out of Chef Scott, who pretty much is the drill sergeant of the kitchen. At least if you're good, Chef Gordon will tell you you're good.

Chef Scott sounds like the kind of person who's about as much fun outside the kitchen as, say, Sabrina. Which is to say, nto at all.

And for that, he's perfect.

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