LAST EDITED ON 05-12-08 AT 08:49 PM (EST)
OFFICIAL SUMMARY: HELLíS KITCHEN 4
SWEET SIXTEEN FROM HELL
Sing it with me......Fiii-yure, fiii-yure.....yo-yo...fiii-yure....
We have recrap...but as Bullzeye did it so much better than Fox ever could, go here http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID86/270.shtml to get your fix.
Complete Packages that Read, Who Knew
The Dark Lord tells the minions to get some sleep. But as they leave even the Dark Lord has a puzzled look on his face. Personally, I think he's thinking "Blimey, how in Hell did I wind up with those Donkey's!"
LouRoss and Christina congrat each other for surviving the elimination. The girls, ok maybe just Corey, are trashing Christina, but Shayna kind of sticks up for her. Christina drinks and almost breaks her arm patting herself on the back. She is one complete package, that girl. She looks good in heels, read a book AND cook. Who knew! Not me!
The guys, Ben and Boobie, are trashing Mattie, Mattie is trash Ben and Boobie. And dang it he's tired of losing.
Creating for a Teenager
LouRoss knows his women. 16 is when we women become demanding. Obviously, he's never had a 3 year old.
They are given a time limit to shop for 25 minutes and I think he said 100.00. One appetizer and two entrees. They have 45 minutes to prepare and serve. I have to tell you this is where I would fail. I can't walk out of Wal-Mart for under 100.00 and 25 minutes!
Matt wants to do a sushi pizza on a tortilla. Ben "Man layoff the sushi". *snort Boobie says there's something wrong with his brain.
Ro says she has a teenage daughter and they're really picky. Amen sister. Jen wants to mandolin (Woohoo, I love me a mandolin girl) something, deep fry it and make it stand up on the plate.
Back over to the men, Mattie keeps trying to direct them to a little store "There's a little supermarket over there,There's a little supermarket over there, There's a little supermarket over there, There's a little supermarket over there....". Poor Mattie, he's like a substitute teachers in a room full of Seniors duing the last week of school. No one gives a crap what he says, he's sick of dealing with them.
Both teams finish on time.
45 minutes start now, YES
While Ben tries to organize his group, Corrie is snapping order. Shayna is way too slow.
Mattie has a little Squishy-Face confessional. He has no confidence and he's tired of wasting his #$%$%&&*(% breathe. He's sick of this whole thing and thinks he wants to go home.
Both teams pull it out in the allotted 45 minutes.
But if the guys think there doing ok, they're wrong. Matt tries to throw all of them under the bus when Ramsey asks about the menu.
Pleasing the Palate of a Sweet Sixteen's Mother
Forget the daughter, forget Ramsey, this Mum is the Original Dark Lord.
We're informed her daughter has "Simple" tastes and that she's in training right now. I'm wondering what kind of training. And I'm already feeling sorry if there is a father quivering somewhere in the dark.
First up: Appetizers
Women ~ Tuscan Shrimp Scampi or better known around these parts as Super Sweet Sixteen Shrimp Scampi (say that 3 times fast!) and the Men's Stuffed Chicken wing.
Melissa the Sixteen has never tasted shrimp before. What!? I agree with Ro what California girl has never tasted shrimp? Does she live on some weird No Shrimp Eating commune? Sheesh, my little Okie child had shrimp before she was four.
She's loving the chicken. Mom was actually quiet.
Next up Caribbean Halibut with a mango and avocado salsa, and I think Jen's mandolin sliced banana that's fried and sticks up on the plate. I have to say it looks a little phallic. But you know those Minions, I bet they thought a Sweet Sexteen would like something like that. And the boys Sweet Potato Mash with Asparagus and Shrimp.
Mom hates the fish and the rice, but they like the salsa. Melissa hates asparagus and shrimp. She picks the girls fish.
Score 1 to 1.
And the tiebreaker:
Women's Flank Steak with French Fries. Men's Fillet Mignon.
Melissa thinks the pomegranites looks like jewelry. She's leaning towards the women, but Mom makes her rethink.
And the men finally win a challenge. Whoopee.
They get to go play. The ladies have to decorate, make it look pretty. Don't get on the wrong side of Momma Dragon.
The Orange Flame
Fransisco! The Party Planner. Oh how gay and happy we are all.
We're going to make this room "Sparkalicious" (hey isn't that Sparkle Josh's job!). Hey thinks Tinkerbell will be jealous. I'm thinking Tink's going to be bitchslapping Fransisco pretty damn soon!
Christina wants to know where the red crap is, Frannie says the "what!?". Don't look at me, you know exactly how he said that! Christina doesn't think Frannie and she are exactly Friendalicious and I'm going to steal that term when the time is right.
Men are go-carting as men are won't to do. Boobie mumbles sumpin' about Niagra Falls and I have really no idea what he was talking about.
The Wicked West of the West Coast as Jen calls her walks in. No, no, no, no and no! No red, no blue, what the hell is wrong with Mr Sparkalicious. Where's the napkin rings? Super Shayna the Party Planner from Hell swoops in to rescue Sparkles (that's my nickname for him because we're buds) from the evil clutches of WWoWC. Whew, that was close. We almost had sparkles all over the forum!
Of course the rescue pisses Corrie of to no end.
Simon somebody-that-looks-familiar feeds the guys a bunch of sweets.
Twinkies and Fillings
Corey and Louross sitting in a tree, well LouRoss is sitting in a tree and Corey is still taller than he is. She's flirting hard and heavy. LouRoss thinks they are made for each other like Twinkies and Filling. Now that's romantic.
If Parvati is a flirt, Corey's a tramp.
The guys are trashing the mango salsa. Blah, blah, blah. And Shayna is still slllloooooowwwwwww. Jen's all like, Good Lord, What the Hell. I like Jen.
And the Teens are herded in. I hate these teens, they all have great shoes! During Melissa's grand entrance Ramsey asks she not trip down the stairs.
Christina is on Apps. Good Gawd where are the mushrooms!
First order for the men: Chicken wings. They're dry, where's the sauce. Boobie's going to cook it all himself if that's what it takes.
Christina's ready, she's got mushrooms. But wait! No parmesan. Sheesh.
They're on a roll. Yay. Party's going good. Mom even says it's the best risotto she's ever had. Whew, I was worried, that woman is evil and crispy minion does not a good show make.
Ro is on Melissa's Filet Mignon medium well. Yes Chef. Ro has a teenager she wants to give her the best party she's ever had. Mom is still waiting for her fish. Rut-roh. Mattie's starting to melt.
Rut-roh again, Melissa's steak is rare. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. (I counted the no's) And Mom's fish is dry. Ramsey is making Sparkles blush. He's all "let's just keep talking at our tables and having fun". I think his second job is day-care.
Boobie takes over Matt's fish station. And we get another Squishy-Face confessional: Boobie pushed me, I tried to push him, he wouldn't let me. He's a control freak, you can't move him or anything. He's crazier than I am". Somehow I doubt that last remark.
Shayna's slowness is becoming an issue in the Red Kitchen, especially for Ramsey. She's garnishing the beef and can't keep up with even that.
Ramsey accuses Matt of hiding. and........Squishy-face confessional: I can handle my station if I need help I'll be man enough to call for help. Do you understand that Boobie. Thank you. No thank you.
Dessert: They're all rushing to finish first and......they all finish.
Melissa says she'll never forget her Sweet Sixteen and Ramsey tells her there's a surprise outside. She gets a performance by her favorite band, The Pink Spiders. Sadly, I now know how my mother felt with my music as a teenager. Actually, they were good, but not cute at all and it's all about the cuteness!
Commenting on You
The teens filled out comment cards. 98% said they would come back for the men. 99% for the women. Ramsey can't decide on 1%. Matt thanks him for his generosity, Ramsey says %^&**( generosity. Matt gets Squishy-Faced, but thank goodness no confessional. One man, one woman. Up for elimination. Now ##### off.
Matts packing his bags. Boobie laughs at him. Matt thinks they're all scumbags.
They girls are split between Rosanna and Shayna. Corey thinks Shayna, Christina thinks Rosanna.
Nominated are Matt and Shayna. Ramsey thinks it should be Ro, he askes Christina who she would nominate. She says Ro. All three are called forward. The two women give having kids as a reason to stay. Matt says he hasn't peaked, that he was bullied off station. Who push you off your station. Boobie did! He says he can't work with the men, if he can go to the red team he will see that Ramsey will see the blue team fall.
And there we have the "New Chef". Ugh. What misdirection. Stupid Faux.
Shayna is gone and Matt is on the red team. If I were Matt I would sleep with my eyes open. If he thinks the boys beat him up , wait until Corey gets ahold of him.
Ben thinks Mattie's a little b!tch anyway, I kind of agree.
And next time
Matt sold himself out, Matt's new team isn't feeling the love, He has no friends and the new teams are falling apart....and pikachu (Gesundheit) will lead you thru the dark halls of Hell!