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"NFL Week #3 Complaining Thread."
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Original message

Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
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09-19-13, 06:26 PM (EST)
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"NFL Week #3 Complaining Thread."
Tonight, Andy Reid will call a perfectly-placed, fully-strategic, Coaching 801 time out!

-- for the Eagles.

...well, he's kind of overdue...

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 Kitty-cat ouch. Estee 09-20-13 1
   RE: Kitty-cat ouch. Snidget 09-21-13 5
       RE: Kitty-cat ouch. Estee 09-22-13 6
           RE: Kitty-cat ouch. Snidget 09-22-13 7
   Sackfest 2013 Snidget 09-22-13 8
 RE: NFL Week #3 Complaining Thread. Max Headroom 09-20-13 2
   RE: NFL Week #3 Complaining Thread. samboohoo 09-21-13 3
       RE: NFL Week #3 Complaining Thread. Estee 09-21-13 4
 The Giants learn how to prevent int... Estee 09-22-13 9
   RE: The Giants learn how to prevent... Snidget 09-22-13 10
 So no one has ever used a "standard... Snidget 09-22-13 11
   RE: So no one has ever used a "stan... Estee 09-22-13 12
       Seven Snidget 09-22-13 13
           RE: Seven Estee 09-22-13 14
               RE: Seven Snidget 09-22-13 15
                   RE: Seven Snidget 09-22-13 16
                       RE: Seven Estee 09-22-13 18
 Football copycats. Estee 09-22-13 17
   RE: Football copycats. AyaK 09-23-13 20
       RE: Football copycats. Estee 09-23-13 22
 It's laziness, really. Estee 09-22-13 19
 Of all the words NPR has at its dis... Snidget 09-23-13 21
 Ewwww. I have no complaints anymore Snidget 09-24-13 23

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Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
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09-20-13, 05:35 PM (EST)
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1. "Kitty-cat ouch."
Fair Using this from the Bill Simmons pick column: given that Snidget and I are kind of up against each other this week in the early contest for Leaders Of The Svck...

'Giants (-1.5) over PANTHERS
You know the problems with the Giants right now: Eli is the first player since 2005 to throw at least seven picks in the first two games. They've given up 77 points in two weeks. And even though only 22 teams have come back from 0-2 since 1990, the fact that they did it in 2007 and are saying things like "We've been 0-2 before, we've dug ourselves into a hole before, and been able to fight our way out of it." (Tom Coughlin's words) I mean, is that a positive or a negative? Can you possess real urgency if you know better and feel like there's no real reason to panic yet? This happened to them last year, too they kept waiting for that "Nobody Believes In Us" switch to kick in and it never happened.

The good news: They're going against the immortal Ron Rivera, who has run out of ways to blow victories and is now repeating the same late-game mistakes that he's already made in other games. Steve Smith defended last Sunday's Rivera boner by saying "It was the right decision. I don't care what you think. You're sitting up there in the press box," which makes me want to move on because, like everyone else, I'm terrified of Steve Smith. But here's a sampling of what my readers thought.

Josh L. in Baltimore: "I was texting back and forth with a friend who is a Bills fan. As the Panthers clung to a 20-17 lead, they reached the Bills 30 at the two minute warning. This is the exact text that I sent my Bills friend (with the typos left in): 'Panthers chewing up clock. But Bills still have all 3 timeouts. Lets see how Rivera blows this one. FG unit on 4th and 1 on 22 with 1:43 left. Bills get Td at end. Final score Bills-24, panthers-23.'"

Ben Logan in Austin: "Ron Rivera is now 2-14 in games decided by 7 points or less. Is this epic enough that we can start using 'Ronrivera' as a euphemism for a disease in which a coach just can't win the close games? E.g. 'He was a great guy and players liked him, but was prone to the debilitating spasms of Ronrivera.' Also, it's 2013 how come scientists can't find a cure for Ronrivera?"

Dave in Greensboro: "I am sure we'll see a lot of 'EJ Manuel is Coming of Age' pieces this week, but isn't this really like losing your virginity to a post-meltdown Lindsay Lohan? If Ron Rivera isn't the worst head coach in the NFL, surely he is the easiest?"

Jake in D.C.: (Extended and totally inappropriate analogy that includes phrases like "Ron Rivera storms into the room" and "lay there in pain" and ends with this line: "Stop punching me in the dick, Ron Rivera." You're better off not seeing this one. But I fully enjoyed it.)

Grant M. in Raleigh: "Seeing the Panthers blow game after game in the 4th quarter due to Rivera's complete ineptness is starting to take years off my life. I find it funny that Rivera, the worst game closer in the NFL, shares his name with the best baseball closer ever. In October when both of them are out of work (hopefully), my only wish is to see them paired together. Maybe Mariano and Ron star in a sitcom called the Two Riveras. Story lines include them going to a bar with Ron buying drinks for a girl all night until Mariano sweeps in at closing time to take her home while Ron stands there with a blank look on his face. Every week the same situation happens and nothing changes because that is the life of a Panthers fan."

To recap: We just heard Ron Rivera compared to a disease, losing your virginity to Lindsay Lohan, getting punched in the dick, and being the Bizarro Mariano Rivera. Also, he made someone feel telepathic. I'm parlaying the Giants with "Rivera gets fired during Carolina's Week 4 bye."'

...well, it could be worse. You could be a Jaguars fan. Here's a betting line I've never seen before: Jacksonville is getting twenty points against the Seahawks. If you take the Jaguars, they can be beaten 38-19 and you'll be having a good day. And given that, do you like your odds?

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9678276/florida-tv-station-explains-reason-airs-jacksonville-jaguars-game.

...maybe not. It's a weird week for the big lines: the Raiders are starting with a theoretical sixteen against Denver. Put those two together and it feels like Vegas is begging for someone to please bet, although I'm not sure on which side.

And to finish with the Simmons peek, which do you prefer for any team blowing its season to get the first pick?

Drowney For Clowney
Play Dead For Ted

Cleveland rocks self-destructs!

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Snidget 43987 desperate attention whore postings
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09-21-13, 11:03 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Kitty-cat ouch."
So, are you saying I shouldn't be rooting for my team to at least be the best at being the svckiest?

because I want to root for something they can achieve...

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Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 10:41 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: Kitty-cat ouch."
Watch: they'll win five games just to spite you. On the plus side, today should be the first one.

Maybe you can be the best at having your head coach fired, watching him immediately take over another team, and witnessing him win the Super Bowl?

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Snidget 43987 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 12:56 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Kitty-cat ouch."
You forgot one thing in predicting that the Giants will lose today...

I'm actually home to watch the game today!!!

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Snidget 43987 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 01:24 PM (EST)
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8. "Sackfest 2013"
Why is Eli falling down so much? I know I used to call football all fall down when I was little, but did he do something to make his fellow players hate him.

Run Cam Run!

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Max Headroom 10035 desperate attention whore postings
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09-20-13, 09:01 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: NFL Week #3 Complaining Thread."
Pop quiz from last night: Which is the Chiefs coach?

Eventually I'll get used to seeing Andy Reid in red. Eventually.

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samboohoo 17089 desperate attention whore postings
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09-21-13, 08:45 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: NFL Week #3 Complaining Thread."
How could you miss him.


Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie


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Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
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09-21-13, 09:19 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: NFL Week #3 Complaining Thread."
How can we miss him when he won't go away?
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Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 01:57 PM (EST)
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9. "The Giants learn how to prevent interceptions."
We're about 16:20 into the game and the Panthers have sacked Eli six times.

...look, if you never get a chance to throw the ball, no one on the opposing team can catch it...

Did I mention the negative yardage over the first three possessions?

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Snidget 43987 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 02:45 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: The Giants learn how to prevent interceptions."
This just makes our eventual loss in the fourth quarter all the more bitter.

It is just a set up, lulling us into a false sense of security.

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Snidget 43987 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 03:00 PM (EST)
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11. "So no one has ever used a "standard" defense?"
Because apparently what is flummoxing the Giants is that they have no idea how to run an offense when confronted with this thing called a "standard" defense.

I mean who would ever expect to face something like that?

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Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 03:17 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: So no one has ever used a "standard" defense?"
Note to self: do not turn on a radio for the next seven days.

If no one minds, I'd like to wave goodbye to the playoffs now.

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Snidget 43987 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 03:26 PM (EST)
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13. "Seven"
Seven sacks.

It almost makes me feel sorry for Eli. Almost.

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Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 03:38 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Seven"
Just got this in text:

"The New York Panacea! Whatever ails the other team, they're the cure!"

Which town will the healing wagon roll into next? Stay tuned!

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Snidget 43987 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 04:01 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Seven"
Don't lose hope, 0-3 teams have made the playoffs before.

But I do think they are a bit premature calling this a win for the Panthers, I mean there are three minutes left and it is only what a 6 possession lead, they could still lose. I have faith.

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Snidget 43987 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 04:11 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Seven"
Gah, how are we supposed to lose at the end when the backup quarterback proves he can throw interceptions just as good as Eli???!?!?!?!
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Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 04:18 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Seven"
And thus did Snidget lose the Clowney Sweepstakes.

Gosh, that's just so sad.

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Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 04:12 PM (EST)
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17. "Football copycats."
So I'm guessing on Monday, the Vikings will trade their best offensive player for draft picks?
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AyaK 10126 desperate attention whore postings
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09-23-13, 03:37 AM (EST)
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20. "RE: Football copycats."
I think Adrian Peterson would like to trade the Vikings.
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Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
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09-23-13, 10:07 AM (EST)
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22. "RE: Football copycats."
What do you think he could reasonably get for them? I say three horned caps and a half-price stadium parking coupon.

...okay, I'm being silly. No NFL team ever offers half-price parking.

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Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 05:48 PM (EST)
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19. "It's laziness, really."
Nearly halftime and the Seahawks haven't covered the point spread yet.
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Snidget 43987 desperate attention whore postings
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09-23-13, 08:22 AM (EST)
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21. "Of all the words NPR has at its disposal..."
...to describe the Kitty-Cat-Midgets game on Sunday,

Wallopped was the one they ended up using.



Sexting Alterego by Pepe LePew

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Snidget 43987 desperate attention whore postings
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09-24-13, 09:13 AM (EST)
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23. "Ewwww. I have no complaints anymore"
How do you not notice part of your finger came off?

link

is he a zombie?

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