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"Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 10:38 AM (EST)
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"Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
We're about due for eleven hours of total letdown, don't you think? The game's on CBS, so we can count on the pregame drag being exceptionally meaningless. Half the commercials have debuted already and the other half are hiding. Ray Lewis will be on camera every single minute, although part of that might be his being forced into an on-the-spot urination. (This will not be mentioned during the pregame show. Nor will anything else.) The halftime show should be openly lipsynched. I'm personally expecting a minimum of five fumbles, four of which may be made by Ray Rice. No matter who wins, the homophobes get to celebrate. The President will pick the most politically expedient team, which in this case probably means the Pelicans. And the coaches are related. In case you haven't heard. Which you have. And will hear again. Sixty times per hour. For the rest of the day.

...it's not even ten in the morning and I already wish the game was over.

I'm going back to bed.

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... PepeLePew13 02-03-13 1
   RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 2
       RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... cahaya 02-03-13 7
 Little benefits. Estee 02-03-13 3
 Is this a music competition? Snidget 02-03-13 4
   RE: Is this a music competition? Estee 02-03-13 5
 Interviewing the President Snidget 02-03-13 6
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 8
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... cahaya 02-03-13 9
 The pre-game line cahaya 02-03-13 10
   RE: The pre-game line Estee 02-03-13 13
       RE: The pre-game line cahaya 02-03-13 16
           RE: The pre-game line cahaya 02-03-13 104
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Molaholic 02-03-13 11
 Waiting for the real game to begin. Estee 02-03-13 12
   RE: Waiting for the real game to be... Molaholic 02-03-13 44
       RE: Waiting for the real game to be... Estee 02-03-13 47
       RE: Waiting for the real game to be... Molaholic 02-03-13 67
           Coupon is now active. Estee 02-04-13 113
   RE: Waiting for the real game to be... VisionQuest 02-03-13 74
 The Sandy Hook kids & Jennifer Huds... Estee 02-03-13 14
 The Slowest National Anthem Ever. Estee 02-03-13 15
 Coin Toss. Estee 02-03-13 17
   RE: Coin Toss. cahaya 02-03-13 18
 First Play dabo 02-03-13 19
 *mutter* Estee 02-03-13 20
   Tweet from God PepeLePew13 02-04-13 108
       RE: Tweet from God Estee 02-04-13 111
 Ravens 7-0 cahaya 02-03-13 21
 Audi dabo 02-03-13 22
   RE: Audi Estee 02-03-13 23
 Cap cahaya 02-03-13 24
   RE: Cap cahaya 02-03-13 26
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 25
   RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... dabo 02-03-13 27
       RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 30
           RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... dabo 02-03-13 31
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 28
   RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... cahaya 02-03-13 29
 14-3 Ravens cahaya 02-03-13 32
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 33
 Star Trek Into Darkness dabo 02-03-13 34
   RE: Star Trek Into Darkness Estee 02-03-13 37
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 35
   RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... cahaya 02-03-13 36
       RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 42
 Hey, bro-Baugh! Estee 02-03-13 38
   RE: Hey, bro-Baugh! cahaya 02-03-13 40
 Oh, fake! cahaya 02-03-13 39
   RE: Oh, fake! dabo 02-03-13 41
       21-3 cahaya 02-03-13 46
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... PepeLePew13 02-03-13 43
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 45
   21-6 cahaya 02-03-13 49
   RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... dabo 02-03-13 51
 Halftime: Ravens 21, 49ers 6. Estee 02-03-13 48
 Destiny's Child reunites, live. Estee 02-03-13 50
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Molaholic 02-03-13 52
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 53
   RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... cahaya 02-03-13 54
       RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... dabo 02-03-13 56
 Anti-coaching? Estee 02-03-13 55
 Wow! dabo 02-03-13 57
   RE: Wow! dabo 02-04-13 106
 It's called a jinx. Estee 02-03-13 58
   RE: It's called a jinx. dabo 02-03-13 59
 Power outage! Estee 02-03-13 60
   RE: Power outage! Molaholic 02-03-13 64
 Wow, I didn't know my jinx could do... Snidget 02-03-13 61
   RE: Wow, I didn't know my jinx coul... dabo 02-03-13 65
       RE: Wow, I didn't know my jinx coul... cahaya 02-03-13 83
 Just a thought. Estee 02-03-13 62
   RE: Just a thought. dabo 02-03-13 63
 Filling the dark. Estee 02-03-13 66
   RE: Filling the dark. Molaholic 02-03-13 69
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 68
   28-6 cahaya 02-03-13 71
 Swoop/power block? Estee 02-03-13 70
   RE: Swoop/power block? cahaya 02-03-13 72
   RE: Swoop/power block? PepeLePew13 02-03-13 84
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... cahaya 02-03-13 73
 RE: Sub-par Punt Snidget 02-03-13 75
   RE: Sub-par Punt cahaya 02-03-13 76
   28-20 dabo 02-03-13 78
 The 49ers are well-rested. Estee 02-03-13 77
 And thank you, Ray Rice. Estee 02-03-13 79
   RE: And thank you, Ray Rice. cahaya 02-03-13 80
       RE: And thank you, Ray Rice. Estee 02-03-13 81
           RE: And thank you, Ray Rice. cahaya 02-03-13 85
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 82
 31-29 PepeLePew13 02-03-13 86
 31-29 dabo 02-03-13 87
 31-29 cahaya 02-03-13 88
 Challenge 1st Down? dabo 02-03-13 89
   RE: Challenge 1st Down? PepeLePew13 02-03-13 91
       RE: Challenge 1st Down? dabo 02-03-13 95
   RE: Challenge 1st Down? cahaya 02-03-13 92
       RE: Challenge 1st Down? Starshine 02-04-13 110
           RE: Challenge 1st Down? cahaya 02-04-13 115
               RE: Challenge 1st Down? Estee 02-04-13 118
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... PepeLePew13 02-03-13 90
   RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... cahaya 02-03-13 93
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 94
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... cahaya 02-03-13 96
   RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-03-13 98
       RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... dabo 02-03-13 100
 Penalty? What penalty? Estee 02-03-13 97
 Safety! cahaya 02-03-13 99
   RE: Safety! Estee 02-03-13 101
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... PepeLePew13 02-03-13 102
   RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Estee 02-04-13 112
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... dabo 02-03-13 103
 YAY confetti! moonbaby 02-04-13 105
 RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Molaholic 02-04-13 107
   RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Compla... Snidget 02-04-13 109
 Out-coached mrc 02-04-13 114
   RE: Out-coached byoffer 02-04-13 116
   RE: Out-coached Snidget 02-04-13 119
   RE: Out-coached HobbsofMI 02-04-13 120
       RE: Out-coached mrc 02-04-13 122
           RE: Out-coached HobbsofMI 02-05-13 124
   RE: Out-coached michel 02-04-13 123
 I will boycott whoever hires him. Estee 02-04-13 117
   RE: I will boycott whoever hires hi... HobbsofMI 02-04-13 121

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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 12:09 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Just a very small, interesting tidbit about the Harbaugh boys. Their sister is married to Tom Crean, coach of the soon-to-be #1 ranked Indiana Hoosiers. That's a lot of coaching chops in one family.
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 12:18 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Great. Now I'm going to spend the rest of the day in deep suspicions of arranged marriage.
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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 06:56 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Strictly on the sports side, the Hoosiers thumped #1 ranked Michigan last night, with a high-flying Near Dunk of the Year by Oladipo.

"Think I need to do a few more squats," he said. "I don't know how I missed. "I was so close."

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 03:32 PM (EST)
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3. "Little benefits."
Having the game on CBS makes it very easy not to watch the pregame show. This past season has made the panel's news priorities very clear: i.e. they don't have any. Since I know no subject of interest is being discussed, I feel free not to follow the non-discussion.

And you just know no one's leaned over to Dan Marino and asked him if his daughter's coming to the game.

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 04:32 PM (EST)
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4. "Is this a music competition?"
Because an awful lot of the pre-game hype fest seems to be about musicians. Most of whom look like they would snap in two if I tackled them.

Why I thought there was going to be a football game (for a rather low value of football) I have no idea.

If Nicki Minaj, or Steven Tyler in drag, is one of the referees judges I'm out of here.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 05:10 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Is this a music competition?"
It's CBS and they're not going to bring in the competition. Given the lack of Big Eye karaoke contests, you're more likely to get Jeff Probst in drag.

...

...and that's never going to go away.

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 05:40 PM (EST)
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6. "Interviewing the President"
Why are they talking about taxes?
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 06:57 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
I still haven't seen any of the pregame show. It's strangely liberating. Now considering how much more freeing not watching the game would be.

However, there are some movie trailers I want to see. Onward.

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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 06:58 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Okay, is it safe for me to turn the TV on now?

The power button beckons.

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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 07:05 PM (EST)
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10. "The pre-game line"
LAST EDITED ON 02-03-13 AT 07:13 PM (EST)

The Vegas line, which had at one time dropped to 3 and even 3 (where the Niners liners should have posted their bets), is now running at... - 4 SF. Looks like the Niners bettors have already gone all in and what remains is the "sucker bet" with a higher line than before. There's some betting action needed by the bookies on the Ravens side.

I think the Ravens have a good shot at winning this game and the current 4 line looks really good to bet on. That's more than a TD over a FG.

Post my bet.

Vegas insider.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 07:18 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: The pre-game line"
From what relatively little I know about the betting lines, 4.5 is normally considered to be the We Have No @#$%&* Idea number.
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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 07:27 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: The pre-game line"
LAST EDITED ON 02-03-13 AT 07:31 PM (EST)

Yeah, but it danced with three and three and a half.

Four-five is a huge milestone. As a bettor, it's on another level than four, more than a TD over a FG.

If you think the Ravens are even going to make it close, this is a good betting window. FWIW, I don't play for money, but I do often play the odds in pools and FF!

My call... it's going to be a close and highly physical game. I'll take the points in this one.

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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 11:52 PM (EST)
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104. "RE: The pre-game line"
Thank you, I'll collect my winnings.
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Molaholic 8451 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 07:07 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
That HDTV close up of a 1,000-year-old Joe Willie just ruined the appetites of untold millions...

I mean, he's got facial crags that rival something found on Mimas.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 07:14 PM (EST)
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12. "Waiting for the real game to begin."
Sometime tonight, Coke is going to air the first part of a commercial. They will then ask people to vote online for how it should end. The first 50,000 to do so are supposed to get coupons for free 20oz bottles. Coke has not explained how you vote or, much more importantly, where. Are you supposed to be logged into your MCR account? If you are, do you have to log in again at CokeChase? Can you do it at the MCR site? Do you have to do it once at each? And why does it matter when the server is going to be hit with an guessed twenty-five percent of the membership population -- all of whom will be eventually heading for the same page -- and promptly (and inevitably) die?

I may or may not try for it. I definitely want to see the fireworks when the whole thing blows up in their face.

Also of minor note: they're also holding a square pick contest. (Last digit of each team's score, ten by ten grid, one prize drawn every minute plus one at the end of each quarter.) Each pick you have in a given square counts as one ticket in that prize's sweeps draw. Thanks to a whole lot of Alternate Method Of Entry codes plus some black caps on the side, I've covered the board and have a single pull for each. I will likely win nothing except the consolation 'your square was picked' prize, which is a Coke Zero coupon of unknown value, limited to one per person for the whole game. But at least no one has to go to war for it.

(One of the prizes is Live Nation concert cash. I'm really hoping not to win that.)

I also want to see if one of the Actual Las Vegas proposition bets comes off -- the one reading "Will Alicia Keyes be booed during the National Anthem?" If you called Yes and it happens, you get paid at five to one. I heard one person speaking on a podcast who said he'd made that bet. And that he was smuggling a megaphone into the stadium.

While I can tolerate the CBS game callers more than some, I'll still be at least partially relying on the radio team -- which means I'll be seven seconds ahead of the action for much of the game. This may cause some confusion, mostly for anyone in earshot of the dual feeds. It also means I'll miss the occasional visual, so if someone kicks Ray Lewis in his genitals, please describe it for me and then provide a YouTube link.

If all else fails, Nickelodeon has a Rugrats marathon.


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Molaholic 8451 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 08:46 PM (EST)
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44. "RE: Waiting for the real game to begin."
Just went to the cokechase.com site and all I got was a nice view of the desert sand and giant coke bottle. No other graphics, nothing to scroll down to. Maybe I was too late.

Oh well. So far the commercials have svcked (except the go.daddy kiss)

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 08:52 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: Waiting for the real game to begin."
SlickDeals is reporting the same result for all users who've tried the site. So in a move which will be supported by the GOP nationwide, all pretense of a public vote seems to be off.
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Molaholic 8451 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 09:52 PM (EST)
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67. "RE: Waiting for the real game to begin."
Coke Chase update --

Site is working now. After your vote (Showgirls, Cowboys, or Bikers) you get to "delay" the other team(s). Kinda cute. Nothing about free cokes, though.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-04-13, 09:10 AM (EST)
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113. "Coupon is now active."
http://www.mycokerewards.com/chase

Went up shortly after midnight. As of this posting, they're still not out of stock.

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VisionQuest 1171 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 10:28 PM (EST)
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74. "RE: Waiting for the real game to begin."
My 17 y.o. dd came down and asked me how was the halftime show. She said that is all anyone is talking about on Twitter. She said she was watching Rugrats. Probably a better idea.
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 07:19 PM (EST)
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14. "The Sandy Hook kids & Jennifer Hudson."
Snidget, any commentary you make the mistake of looking at right now is exactly that: a mistake. Look away and don't look back until morning.
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 07:25 PM (EST)
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15. "The Slowest National Anthem Ever."
There was in fact an over/under prop bet. Anyone who took the Over is feeling pretty good right now, especially after she added the extra line.

I feel mostly indifferent about the performance itself, but the piano got an extra commercial in. Yamaha, wasn't it?

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 07:29 PM (EST)
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17. "Coin Toss."
Okay, Papa John's players, this is for the free pizza. Are we ready? Let's flip this thing!

*suspense*

Heads.

Baltimore wins and defers. Also, I won a free pizza.

Possibly the most excitement this game will produce all night.

Really should have introduced Ogden last there.

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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 07:33 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Coin Toss."
Hey, free pizza is free pizza on a lucky guess!
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 07:35 PM (EST)
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19. "First Play"
LAST EDITED ON 02-03-13 AT 07:44 PM (EST)

First Flag.

Refs take early lead in the game.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-03-13, 07:41 PM (EST)
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20. "*mutter*"
First player seen on TV broadcast: Ray Lewis.
First player discussed on radio broadcast: Ray Lewis.
First player I want to see on the bench for the rest of the game: Ray Lewis.

...well, maybe Culliver, but that was already predetermined.

Kickoff is pretty far back in the end zone (to make an understatement): touchback. 49ers start at the twenty.

First play. First pass. First completion for twenty yards. First penalty. Five yards backwards, repeat first down.

Already tired of the word 'first'.

After that setback, it's three and out: punt. Once the dust clears, Baltimore starts from their own 49. Moving well. Standard first down, then jump to the 19. Rice for no gain. Flacco goes everywhere and winds up nowhere with a scramble pass out of bounds. Next is incomplete to the end zone, but 49ers are called offsides: five yards and replay down. And -- touchdown on a pass, courtesy of the 49ers defense providing that second chance.

Is this going to be one of those games with twenty-two players on the San Francisco offense?

Extra point is good: 7-0.

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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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02-04-13, 07:34 AM (EST)
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108. "Tweet from God"
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-04-13, 08:53 AM (EST)
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111. "RE: Tweet from God"
But gosh, the need to thank anyone was in the past and surely isn't part of anyone's lives now.
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02-03-13, 07:44 PM (EST)
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21. "Ravens 7-0"
The Niners sputter their first possession and the Ravens march across the field aided by a Niners 3rd-down offsides penalty inside the 20.

Flacco to Boldin from 13. Seven-oh.

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02-03-13, 07:47 PM (EST)
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22. "Audi"
best commercial so far.

m&m's was cute.

goat eats doritos. um, don't goats eat almost anything? don't get it.

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02-03-13, 07:51 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Audi"
Secret lesson: if your stomach can't handle a tin can, don't eat Doritos.

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02-03-13, 07:52 PM (EST)
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24. "Cap"
Cap runs it on 3rd and two and easily gets the first down inside of Ravens territory, with another run to follow that takes them close to the red zone. First and goal from the 8.
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02-03-13, 07:55 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Cap"
Third and goal after an overthrow into the end zone, Cap gets sacked, and it's 7-3.
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02-03-13, 07:55 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
So far, I've learned that Audi makes you commit sexual assault, football-playing kids are on steroids, and Doritos makes goats try to kill you. None of this makes me particularly want to buy anything.

Another touchback. 49ers start at the 20, promptly get dropped on their 19, and engage in a little shoving match as a friendly way of saving this can't possibly be their fault. Run down to the 37. Not gonna be doing play-by-play for the whole game. Let's just sit back and see what doesn't happen.

Kaeppy is running the ball himself. I can hear the Ravens drooling. Radio broadcast is talking about how he makes broken player work in the end. Right, and it gets him knocked on his end. Some more advancement, then a long pass down to the 10. The radio team notes that the 49ers coach keeps calling for the pass. He must be trying for extra camera time in the competition against his brother because 'pass' takes longer to say. And it all ends in tears, or at least a field goal. 7-3, Ravens.

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02-03-13, 08:01 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
coke = happiness

first drug reference

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02-03-13, 08:11 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
No. No, it does not. And then we get 'infinite witches'. Skye is so pissed right now.

I may not start a commercial discussion thread tomorrow because I may not remember any of the commercials. Whole lot of money leaving absolutely no positive impression right now.

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02-03-13, 08:14 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"

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02-03-13, 08:06 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
The kickers (one of whom is now lightly trusted again, for the NFL 'I will replace you' value of 'trust') are a little hyper tonight. Another ball into the end zone, but this one is run out to not much effect.

Oz commercial. May see. Reminder of Go Daddy commercial. Did not care.

And there's a pressure pass by Flacco that was either a desperation Indy Ploy that worked out or the dumbest luck in the world in having a receiver right there. What was that?

Radio team compares Flacco to Big Serial. He should sue.

Down to the SF 37. And -- loss of six: hit him once and hit him twice and eliminate the field goal. Welcome to the NFL!

End of first quarter.

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02-03-13, 08:09 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
LAST EDITED ON 02-03-13 AT 09:16 PM (EST)

Yup, end of Q1 7-3 Ravens with the Niners stalling out just outside of FG range on their second possession. Great desperation pass by Kap to get them inside Ravens territory. It won't be enough to put points on the board with a punt that goes first and ten from the twenty.

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02-03-13, 08:23 PM (EST)
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32. "14-3 Ravens"
Getting the benefit of a PF face-mask penalty inside the red zone, Flacco pops one to Pitta with four guys in the backfield.
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02-03-13, 08:25 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
And another touchback. The Official Play Call Of The Super Bowl.

Oooh, big run by the 49ers tight end! See? Things other than passes can happen!

The name of Ray Lewis is mentioned as he makes a stop on an eight-yard gain. It appears to be all he's done. Maybe it'll stop there. And another gain of eight -- they're at the Ravens 24 right now. Where's that vaunted defense? Was there a deer antler shortage?

Fumble? No, down by contact -- no, fumble -- wait a minute... automatic review, it's the Ravens' ball if it was a fumble... Fumble. Ravens ball.

Doritos with a bearded man in a bridal dress. Calvin Klein with male models in briefs and nothing else. It's too late. The first killed any hope for getting a response from the second. And possibly took out my chances of getting any sleep tonight. There has been no Bud Light commercial tonight and Doritos is trying to compensate for the lost stupid. But on the plus side, there's been no Bud Light commercial tonight. And if there was, I blocked it out. Victory!

Ravens are in a no-huddle. Ray Lewis demands it be changed to a must-kowtow.

A 49er wears 52 in tribute to his idol. The radio team just said that. Was there an over/under bet for how many times That Name would be said? ...oh, wait, there was. Five thousand. Take the over.

Ravens moving fast. Down to the 49er 22. Talk about swings in momentum. Move to the 7, but here come a whole lot of flags -- no, it's facemask on the Ravens, so make that the 3.5. Penalties are having their say tonight. We should let them announce the game. And possibly write the commercials.

And there we go: 14-3 (after the extra point), Baltimore. The Harbaugh parents edge closer to the currently-losing son.

Bud Light commercial.

*sigh*


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02-03-13, 08:28 PM (EST)
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34. "Star Trek Into Darkness"
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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02-03-13, 08:35 PM (EST)
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37. "RE: Star Trek Into Darkness"
Have you seen The Insanely Long Trailer? I got it before The Hobbit's Imax version.
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02-03-13, 08:31 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Kaeppy passes.

Interception.

Gigantic brawl.

Referee pushed out of the way by a player -- Jerry Williams.

Flags everywhere.

Chaos.

Insanity.

Tea Party.

Penalties offset. Nothing attaches to Williams. Ravens have the ball. And by the way, that was the first interception in the Super Bowl history of the 49ers. Take a shot.

Take several. You may need them.

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02-03-13, 08:34 PM (EST)
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36. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Quite a play and yellow flag ruckus there that leads to the Ravens having the ball inside 49'er territory and they're marching again...

Shot of what?!

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02-03-13, 08:44 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Irish Mist if you've got it.

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02-03-13, 08:37 PM (EST)
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38. "Hey, bro-Baugh!"
Watch me while I call something stupid!

Fake field goal attempt -- and the resulting play comes up one yard short of the first down. No points.

Well, that's gonna be brought up every Thanksgiving for the rest of their current lives.

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02-03-13, 08:38 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: Hey, bro-Baugh!"
Gobble, gobble...
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02-03-13, 08:37 PM (EST)
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39. "Oh, fake!"
Justin Tucker could make it 17-3 but he dashes with the ball ending up out of bounds short of the first down. Still 14-3 and the Niners are deep inside their own territory.
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02-03-13, 08:39 PM (EST)
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41. "RE: Oh, fake!"
come on get happy
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02-03-13, 08:50 PM (EST)
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46. "21-3"
LAST EDITED ON 02-03-13 AT 08:59 PM (EST)

Oh, that was a "kill bro" attempt, shooting for 21-3 with an insurmountable lead. It failed by a yard or two, but the message is quite clear. Meanwhile, the Ravens remain on top by 2 TD to a FG.

Until Flacco to J.Jones for 47 and goal makes it 21-3 inside the 2-minute half-time.

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02-03-13, 08:46 PM (EST)
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43. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Tweet from a friend of mine:

Murder 14 - Homophobia 3 late in the second quarter. Didn't see this one coming.

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02-03-13, 08:49 PM (EST)
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45. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Taco Bell commercial: stupid.
Skechers commercial: stupid and I totally thought it was going to be about antler spray.

SlickDeals starting to report winner Emails from the Square Bowl. I have won nothing except the earlier pizza. I have lost a lot of things, including most of my interest in this game --

-- oh. Wait. Fifty-six yard touchdown pass from Flacco.

Well, that'll keep me around until halftime.

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02-03-13, 09:01 PM (EST)
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49. "21-6"
Kaep rifles it downfield to scoring range but after a 3rd down sack the Niners settle for a FG.

Score: Ravens 3 TD's, Niners 2 FG's.

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02-03-13, 09:04 PM (EST)
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51. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Nothing really standing out in the ads this season.

21-6 at the half. Looked like the Niners were going to put it together on that last drive but then ended up having to take the field goal instead.

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02-03-13, 08:59 PM (EST)
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48. "Halftime: Ravens 21, 49ers 6."
Brave: throwing things.
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02-03-13, 09:02 PM (EST)
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50. "Destiny's Child reunites, live."
I find something else to do, bored.
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02-03-13, 09:14 PM (EST)
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52. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Super Bowl Factoid -- Biggest half time deficit/come-back is 7 points (twice). Super Bowl XVII (1983) Miami led 17-10, then lost to Washington 27-17. Super Bowl XXVIII (1994) Buffalo led 13-6, lost to Dallas 30-13.

Good Luck 'Niners.

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02-03-13, 09:16 PM (EST)
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53. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
to the mute
to the mute
the only button i want to press is the mute
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02-03-13, 09:21 PM (EST)
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54. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Halftime show summary: Dressed in black and leg skin.
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02-03-13, 09:28 PM (EST)
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56. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Was there a song in there? I could barely understand much of the singing, but wow a lot of lights and flashing and things.

Well, I hope fans of that sort of thing enjoyed it, I may go back to skipping halftime shows after this.

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02-03-13, 09:26 PM (EST)
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55. "Anti-coaching?"
The radio team suggests the 49er Harbaugh will go into the locker room and do his best Dr. Phil impression.

I don't know if he wants the entire team to commit suicide.

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02-03-13, 09:33 PM (EST)
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57. "Wow!"
109 yard kickoff return for touchdown, now that's how you own a football game.
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02-04-13, 00:15 AM (EST)
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106. "RE: Wow!"
Just to note: League deciders of these things decided it was a 108 yard run.
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02-03-13, 09:34 PM (EST)
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58. "It's called a jinx."
Half the radio team -- Boomer Esiason, if you're curious -- spends the last few seconds before kickoff insisting the 49ers can close the gap and make a game of it.

As soon as he finishes talking, the Ravens run the kickoff out of the endzone for a 109-yard touchdown. One. Hundred. And. Nine. Yards. 28-6, Ravens.

It might really behoove Boomer to shut up now.

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02-03-13, 09:40 PM (EST)
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59. "RE: It's called a jinx."
Okay, who forgot to pay the 'lectric bill?
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02-03-13, 09:41 PM (EST)
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60. "Power outage!"
Half the lights are out. Scoreboard out. Radio broadcast team dropping in and out as they try to scavenge volts from anywhere, broadcasting on their phones. Crowd fairly calm. Radio team talking about how there was a buzz in the background during halftime. No idea how they heard it.

You know East Rutherford can do better than this.

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02-03-13, 09:46 PM (EST)
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64. "RE: Power outage!"
Maybe CBS can run the Ironman 3 extended preview...
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02-03-13, 09:42 PM (EST)
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61. "Wow, I didn't know my jinx could do that"
I get home, turn on the TV, see one play and half the lights go out in the dome.

If only I could use these powers for good.

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02-03-13, 09:47 PM (EST)
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65. "RE: Wow, I didn't know my jinx could do that"
LAST EDITED ON 02-03-13 AT 09:47 PM (EST)

It was Beyonce, she didn't do enough lip-synkin'.

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02-03-13, 10:57 PM (EST)
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83. "RE: Wow, I didn't know my jinx could do that"
I'll blame Dandy Don...

Turn out the lights, the party's over...

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02-03-13, 09:43 PM (EST)
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62. "Just a thought."
Is TAR premiering tonight?
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02-03-13, 09:45 PM (EST)
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63. "RE: Just a thought."
I think it was the halftime show used up too much power.
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02-03-13, 09:47 PM (EST)
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66. "Filling the dark."
CBS is guessing about an additional fifteen minute delay in progress -- but it's a guess, and they are in a rare position where they cannot afford to just go blowing off commercials. So it's time for lots and lots of game discussion about the third quarter. What there was of it.

The radio team, under no such restrictions, goes to the motor oil.

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02-03-13, 09:53 PM (EST)
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69. "RE: Filling the dark."
I'm betting the over on the 20-min guess.
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02-03-13, 09:53 PM (EST)
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68. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Okay, more updates. The power to the entire building is out: we're looking at the auxiliary supply -- and that's only on the Ravens side of the stadium. The NFL is insisting another fifteen minutes will do it.

For the sake of comedy, let us now imagine what'll happen if they're wrong and tell the entire crowd to come back tomorrow.

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02-03-13, 09:59 PM (EST)
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71. "28-6"
LAST EDITED ON 02-03-13 AT 09:59 PM (EST)

Just in case anybody wants to know the current score.

J.Jones takes it all the way in, 109 from the backside, oh yeah, nice.

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02-03-13, 09:56 PM (EST)
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70. "Swoop/power block?"
Yeesh.

Y'know, that thread title was not meant to be this prophetic...

Power just came on in the radio booth. I can hear the buzzing they were talking about. I was getting it earlier, but thought it was a flaw in the signal.

More lights and parts of the scoreboard coming on.

Mention of Ray Lewis, so I guess we're playing.

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02-03-13, 10:00 PM (EST)
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72. "RE: Swoop/power block?"
The football gods are messing with the game, you know.
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02-03-13, 10:59 PM (EST)
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84. "RE: Swoop/power block?"
Speaking of Ray Lewis... did anyone see him in the area just before the power went out? How do we know he didn't kill the power?
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73. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
LAST EDITED ON 02-03-13 AT 10:19 PM (EST)

Flacco pass to Rice ends up about a yard short. Ravens kick and it's first and ten from their own 20 for the Niners, down 28-6.

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02-03-13, 10:33 PM (EST)
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75. "RE: Sub-par Punt"
Who knew all it took to stop the Ravens and empower the 49ers was a little black out.
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02-03-13, 10:35 PM (EST)
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76. "RE: Sub-par Punt"
Punt return gets inside the 20 and Gore strolls in from 6.

We've got a game. 28-20.

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02-03-13, 10:38 PM (EST)
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78. "28-20"
Some Silicon Valley hacker.
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77. "The 49ers are well-rested."
Touchdown, stop the Ravens deep in their own territory, run the punt back to the Ravens 20... and the Ravens are screaming because a helmet was lost on the play (49er) and the play wasn't stopped. Neither is the next one: down to the 6. A power blackout is an extra halftime rest, y'know.

And 49er -- touchdown. Again. So now it's Ravens 28, 49ers 20.

This blackout thing could become a regular feature. If the trailing coach can find the master switch.

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02-03-13, 10:41 PM (EST)
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79. "And thank you, Ray Rice."
Fumble. 49ers recover.

Brave is desperately looking for all the things she threw so she can identify the lucky one and throw it again.

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80. "RE: And thank you, Ray Rice."
The Niners get inside the 25, but after a broken pass play, they put 3 more on the board, 28-23, one score game.
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81. "RE: And thank you, Ray Rice."
Including a penalty-enabled do-over on a missed field goal. This game is getting weirder.
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85. "RE: And thank you, Ray Rice."
It's one of those games where if you can't do it the first time, you'll do it the next.

The Ravens march once again, and pick up a FG to break the 28 point duck, 31-23.

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02-03-13, 10:52 PM (EST)
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82. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
The radio team mentions that Culliver (in at cornerback) seems to be having a really bad game.

Really?

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86. "31-29"
Missed the two-pointer, too bad. Would have liked to see if they could take it to overtime for the first time in Super Bowl history.

What a wild game!

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87. "31-29"
Niners touchdown on a keeper but fail the conversion.
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88. "31-29"
Wow, Kaerpernik scrambles on a broken play and dashes in from 15 and suddenly it's 31-29, with a two pointer pass incomplete with almost 10 minutes still left in the game.
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02-03-13, 11:16 PM (EST)
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89. "Challenge 1st Down?"
If you're right they have what an inch to make a 1st down, if you're wrong you wasted a timeout. ???
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02-03-13, 11:23 PM (EST)
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91. "RE: Challenge 1st Down?"
LAST EDITED ON 02-03-13 AT 11:32 PM (EST)

Because the challenge was successful, it kept the Ravens from getting a first down and ended up being 3rd down and 1, so that was potentially huge if the 49er D could hold them back for one more play and force a punt instead of letting the Ravens move on further downfield to get a FG.

That would have been 31-29 and 49er ball needing a FG to win instead of being 34-29 and needing a TD to win. So it was a great idea to challenge that 1st down ruling.

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02-03-13, 11:31 PM (EST)
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95. "RE: Challenge 1st Down?"
Well, it was meaningless in the end. But it was between 1st or 3rd down not 1st or 4th down. Put the Ravens in 4th down with bad field position, give it a shot in that case, sure.
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92. "RE: Challenge 1st Down?"
Good question, but it's mute after the Ravens kick another FG to go ahead 34-29 and the Niners need a TD.
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02-04-13, 08:40 AM (EST)
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110. "RE: Challenge 1st Down?"
The crowd went silent?

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/moot

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02-04-13, 11:14 AM (EST)
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115. "RE: Challenge 1st Down?"
Oh, dear, I think I just got flagged for improper usage of English.

Penalty: Language foul, 15 yards, repeat the down.

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02-04-13, 12:54 PM (EST)
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118. "RE: Challenge 1st Down?"
It's a moot point.
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90. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Boldin is really having a nice game - he's made a few difficult catches and had that early TD. If Baltimore holds on to win, Flacco probably wins MVP, but Boldin should get some consideration as well with the catches he's had to make.
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02-03-13, 11:25 PM (EST)
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93. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Boldin is 6 catches for a 104 yard century game with a TD, with some great catches. He once played opposite Larry Fitzgerald with Kurt Warner under center, so he knows the game.
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02-03-13, 11:28 PM (EST)
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94. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Would anyone like some secondary? I carved lots.
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02-03-13, 11:37 PM (EST)
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96. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Under two minutes, fourth and goal, Kaep's pass goes wide and outside, key play, the Ravens get the ball.
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98. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
This concept of 'field goal' is strange.

It must be: no one there can understand it.

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02-03-13, 11:45 PM (EST)
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100. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
I would not have taken that safety, now the Niners can tie it up with a field goal.
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97. "Penalty? What penalty?"
See no infraction, call no infraction.
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99. "Safety!"
LAST EDITED ON 02-03-13 AT 11:48 PM (EST)

Tack on two more for the Niners after an intentional Ravens safety on a punt from their own end zone. 34-31.

Four seconds on the clock, the kick goes off and with the run the time runs out and the Ravens win by 3.

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101. "RE: Safety!"
Ravens win.

And now someone can go get the former #52 to pee in a cup.

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102. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Final score:

Murder 34, Homophobia 31.

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02-04-13, 08:57 AM (EST)
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112. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Imagine if Murderous Homophobe had been playing. We might have gone to overtime.

Pity the Toilet Papers didn't buy a commercial.

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02-03-13, 11:48 PM (EST)
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103. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
'Grats, Baltimore. What an unusual superbowl.
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02-04-13, 00:01 AM (EST)
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105. "YAY confetti!"
There needs to be more confetti in everyone's life.

Won the third quarter in the office pool.

CONFETTI!!!!!

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02-04-13, 00:21 AM (EST)
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107. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
Late entry for Best Commercial:

Tide/Joe Montana stain.

Close runner-up:
Audi (?) "Where do babies come from?"

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02-04-13, 08:03 AM (EST)
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109. "RE: Sub-par Bowl Forty-Seven Complaining Thread"
I would like to add the oreo twitter ad.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/copyranter/oreo-wins-the-super-bowl-blackout

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02-04-13, 10:13 AM (EST)
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114. "Out-coached"
SF's Harbaugh (I can't be bothered to figure out which is which) cost the 49ers the game.

1. Not using Kapernich's running that close to the goal line was atrocious. I would have run all four times and forced the Ravens to stop him.

2. There was no way the refs were going to flag PI on that fourth down play unless the DB pulled out a shiv and stabbed the WR. If it were Ray Lewis in dropback coverage, maybe not even then.

3. Allowing the punter to run time off the clock b/f taking the safety was the final killer. SF was completely unprepared for that possibility.

Or we could just chalk it up to the Illuminati and be done with it.

A Slice of Manga

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116. "RE: Out-coached"
yes to all three. Frank Gore hadn't been lighting things up, but they only needed a few yards for the score.

Whenever they showed SF's Harbaugh, he seemed to be either byotching to the refs or cheer leading. This game was winnable for SF with a couple of coaching tweaks.

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02-04-13, 01:32 PM (EST)
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119. "RE: Out-coached"
I was beginning to think that poor punt guy was going to have to wander back and forth until time ran out. No one wanted to tackle him.
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02-04-13, 04:21 PM (EST)
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120. "RE: Out-coached"
I just watched the safety/punt and it seemed to me there were two SF's guy who were basically held tried to get to the punter. Now if those penalties are called is that a TD or still a safety? I have yet to find something that tells me which.


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02-04-13, 05:03 PM (EST)
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122. "RE: Out-coached"
Would have been a safety, which shows how well-coached the Ravens were in this situation. Same result either way, but if refs don't call it (and they probably wouldn't near the end of the SB), you get to burn more seconds.

I think one of the writers at Grantland talked about this, but I don't have time to look it up again.

A Slice of Manga

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02-05-13, 10:09 AM (EST)
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124. "RE: Out-coached"
Yep, finally found the rules on safeties/TD/end zone sacks/etc.

With the same results then it was smart of the Balt players to delay anyone getting to the punter as long as possible.


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02-04-13, 10:29 PM (EST)
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123. "RE: Out-coached"
I think the two biggest mental mistakes were done by Kaepernick: The time out he wasted during the 3rd quarter and the one he forced Harbaugh to take when he let the play clock run down on the last drive. Give the 49ers 3 time outs after turning the ball over and they get the ball back with over a minute.
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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02-04-13, 12:53 PM (EST)
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117. "I will boycott whoever hires him."
According to Ray Lewis, the reason the Ravens won is because something (implied to be his personal Jesus, who is a personal Jesus because only Ray Lewis is pure enough to get him and you? Are not) told him to lay his hands on Joe Flacco and channel positivity into the quarterback.

What a pity he doesn't do resurrections.

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02-04-13, 04:22 PM (EST)
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121. "RE: I will boycott whoever hires him."
ESPN I think already had a deal with him before the game to be a talking head next year.


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