The Amazing Race   American Idol   The Apprentice   The Bachelor   The Bachelorette   Big Brother   The Biggest Loser
Dancing with the Stars   So You Think You Can Dance   Survivor   Top Model   The Voice   The X Factor       Reality TV World
   
Reality TV World Message Board Forums
PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats, but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are encouraged to read the complete guidelines. As entertainment critic Roger Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
"Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
Email this topic to a friend
Printer-friendly version of this topic
Bookmark this topic (Registered users only)
 
Previous Topic | Next Topic 
Conferences Big Brother Fanatic Forum (Protected)
Original message

Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"

09-09-10, 06:55 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Aruba Click to send private message to Aruba Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
"Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
Final ranking is incidental to the fact that BB12 was the "Season of the Brigade." I missed last weeks episodes but apparently they didn't have its regular F5 POV competition when the players have to guess the two HGs superimposed on each other? A MONSTER break for the Brigade because no way those dofuses had a prayer of doing well in that competition. I figured Ragan would have been up all night studying every line, curve, and feature of the faces on the picture wall (much like how he prepared when he won his last POV.) If they do away with it altogether, not a problem. But if they pick it up again next season and continue it...then I think I smell a rat!

No landslide here, but gotta rank them anyhow...

ENZO - If this is a Survivor ranking, no way Enzo takes top spot. But this is BB. He had obvious reason to be concerned about every HG in the way of competitions, but ranking this F3 it's his entertainment value that gives him the edge here. With the exception of one HOH comp he did try his best, but bottomline, he was an embarassment in challenges. Although socially he made no enemies, appeared to be well-liked, and if he can play up his husband and new-daddy role, he could win sitting next to Lane.

HAYDEN - The game is now Hayden's to win. I think he wins sitting next to either of the other Brigaders. Like many other Reality Show players before him, he's having an impressive run facing subpar opponents AFTER his toughest competition was eliminated. For that reason I'll always consider him a little bit chickensh!t for wussing out and never knowing how he would have fared against better competition; but hey, 500K will buy alot of chicken feed. BTW, my roommate for three years in college was the star baseball payer and what Hayden said about "soft hands" was accurate and on the money.

LANE - If Lane somehow pulls out the victory you can hang his picture among A-dum (BB9) and Jor-dum (B11) and call the BB winners collage "Dumb, Dumb, and Dumber" (order of the pictures wouldn't matter.) Got sucked into the right alliance and looking like Britney's fiancee gave him a clear path to the end. But dude, if you want to win the heart of a self-centered and materialistic girl you better pony up a helluva lot more than a steak dinner in some Black Hog Saloon. But heck, in his own words, if that doesn't work it would be like "his favorite dog dying."

GONZO

BRITNEY - Did Hayden REALLY ask if Britney would cry when they tell her about the Brigade? GEEZ, has he been walking around wearing a blindfold for the past 68 days??? Was Britney wailing uncontrollablly feeling her fate was sealed because of the Brigade? Allow me to inform our sweet little weeping willow if she had WON the POV the answer would be--NO. AHHHH, but that would have meant controlling her own destiny...a cardinal sin for some viewers. Even so, she was arguably the most entertaining character this season and stands a great chance to win the 25K viewer's choice. Add that to her 10K she already won and $35,000 is not bad for 75 days of hamster work.

RAGAN - Probably never had a realistic shot at winning. I couldn't see the Skank-mance and the Alpha Males throwing him any votes. But he did give us many memorable lines and his TKO over Rachel was one of my more memorable moments of the season.

  Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... Aruba 09-09-10 1
 RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... Belle Book 09-09-10 2
 RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... michel 09-09-10 3
   RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... Aruba 09-10-10 4
       RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... michel 09-10-10 5
           RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... Aruba 09-11-10 6
               RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... michel 09-11-10 7
                   RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... LFJ 09-11-10 8
                       RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... michel 09-11-10 10
                           RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... LFJ 09-11-10 12
                           RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... Aruba 09-11-10 13
                       RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... Aruba 09-11-10 11
                   RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... Aruba 09-11-10 9
                       RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... michel 09-11-10 14
                           RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... Aruba 09-11-10 15
   RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Fina... tarata 01-03-11 16
 Should I spy? knowthetruth 03-25-11 17

Lobby | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

Messages in this topic

Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"

09-09-10, 07:06 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Aruba Click to send private message to Aruba Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
1. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
YIKES!!!!!!

I apologize for being remiss and not thanking all who contributed this season. And a BIG HIGH 5 to Michel! Now I know how Iltarion probably felt last Survivor season. LOL

As Rain Man would say, "M-I-C-H-E-L...Main Man!"

Keep me laughing, Bro. See ya in the Survivor Forum next week.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"

09-09-10, 07:51 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Belle%20Book Click to send private message to Belle%20Book Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
2. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
Here is my final list:

1. Hayden -- he was the smartest of the remaining three in the Brigade. And he played harder than either Lane or Enzo.

2. Lane -- I like him more than Enzo, and his side alliance with Britney helped. But he probably won't win.

3. Enzo -- my least favorite of the remaining Brigade members, but he definitely had some smarts.

Gonzo:

Britney -- well, at least you won me over once Monet was gone. Too bad Hayden beat you for POV.

Ragan -- you were the only one to really figure out that the Brigade existed. Too bad you didn't do so until it was too late.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

michel 10811 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

09-09-10, 10:20 PM (EST)
Click to EMail michel Click to send private message to michel Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
3. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
This was probably the season with the least drama coming down the stretch which I found particularly refreshing. It didn't prevent the show from being very funny at times even if the outcome was very predictable.

Hayden: For a guy who risked a lot by winning the first HOH, he managed to have very few enemies. That says a lot about him and his friendly demeanor. He has it made against Lane but may have a problem going against Enzo.

Enzo: If the jury rewards the Brigade, he should get votes for creating it. The alliance served its members well and since we heard that it was Enzo's plan even before the game started, we can say they all rode Enzo's coattails. Also, being a family man could help him get a vote or two if he faces a rich man or a young one that has everything for him.

Lane: After a lame start, the guy managed to crack me up in every episode. "My brain backstabbed me" is one of the funniest lines I've ever heard. Unfortunately, Lane rode the alliance, admitted that he's rich and didn't pull any moves of his own. That makes him the easiest to beat.

Gone: Britney Sure it could be have been a ploy to get her vote but all three guys had great words to describe her. They know her and none mentioned she was materialistic or self-centered in DR. She was a very entertaining character.

BTW, she proved one of my theories about these games: It really doesn't matter where you stand in an alliance's pecking order early on as long as you are able to work with the alliance. From a complete outsider, Brit became a side-kick, then the 5th wheel, then the replacement Brigadier, then one member's first choice for F2. Had Lane or Brit won one of the last 2 comps, she'd be favorite to win right now. That's all that was needed. No need to win tons of challenges, just the one that is needed. Too bad for her.

Ragan: Thanks for confirming Matt's fabrication!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"

09-10-10, 08:24 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Aruba Click to send private message to Aruba Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
4. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
You think Hayden has a problem going up against Enzo?
I believe Rachel, Matt, and Brit would be definite Hayden votes. Kathy and Lane would vote for Enzo. Ragan is a total wildcard in my mind. But I cannot immagine Brendon and Rachel splitting their votes. Realistically I don't think Enzo gets more than three votes and wouldn't be surprised with a 5-2 Hayden win.

When you said if Britney won POV "she'd be favored to win right now," do you mean favored to win the final competition or the game? I believe the only shot Britney would have to win the game is sitting next to Ragan. Rachel, Brendon, and Matt are not voting for Britney regardless of who she would sit next to. Meaning Brit would have to sweep the remaining four just to get the 4-3 win. And that would mean the other two Brigaders on the Jury would BOTH vote for Brit over their alliance mate? I guess anything's possible, but I don't see a Britney win even if she made the Finals.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

michel 10811 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

09-10-10, 10:07 PM (EST)
Click to EMail michel Click to send private message to michel Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
5. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
All I'm saying is that Enzo can give Hayden a bigger fight than Lane. It will all come down to his jury speech. If he can make them laugh, he could get a surprise vote or two, maybe enough to win.


If, and it's a big if, Britney and Lane had gotten rid of Hayden last week then they would both be going after Enzo. If Lane then had eliminated Enzo, she probably would have received both Enzo and Hayden's vote as they'd be mad at Lane for betraying them. Brit would have had Ragan's vote. That's 3 and I think Kathy would have been 4. Brendon and Rachel will be angry jurors when they learn about the Brigade so, if they could have voted for a non-brigade member, Brit could have gotten their votes.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"

09-11-10, 08:38 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Aruba Click to send private message to Aruba Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
6. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
>All I'm saying is that Enzo can give Hayden a bigger fight than Lane. It will all come down to his jury speech. If he can make them laugh, he could get a surprise vote or two, maybe enough to win.

No question about it; Hayden wins hands down against Lane. I also have no doubts that Enzo will make the jurors laugh, but Hayden is surprisingly well-spoken for a 24-year old college student and I think he'll be in his element during the Q&A session.

>If, and it's a big if...

How about a MONSTEROUS if! There was never a question in my mind after the strongest competitors were eliminated Hayden would run the table so what we are seeing now is pretty much to script. Being even if he is eliminated in your hypothetical scenario, with a Lane/Britney/Enzo F3 there is NOOOOOOOO way Lane comes even remotely close to trying to win any competitions the rest of the way. He would be in a perfect "Richard Hatch" scenario where both players take him to the Finals. A Lane/Britney F2 means Britney does the final "dirty work" with Lane getting the Brigade's votes.

I'm not sold on the Skank-mance becomes SO angry when hearing about the Brigade that it would result in sour grapes votes from both. Their battle cry throughout the game was "Floaters Go Home," and now they make an about face and penalize proactive and strategic play with the success of the Brigade alliance? BTW, hasn't Brigade member Matt been in the Jury House for a while? Rather odd such a "disloyal" scoundrel like Matt hasn't outed the Brigade alliance already???? HMMMMMM


Finally, the nice parting words to Britney from the Brigade "could have been a ploy to get her vote..." How about you bet your butt it was a ploy to get her vote! Well I won't include Lane in that statement because he has a crush on Britney. But we don't have to go any further than Rachel's eviction and the parting words from Enzo and Hayden to confirm that fact. Even when Rachel came back into the House and announced to EVERYONE, "I'm back B!TCHES," Hayden and Enzo thought the better of it to keep their months shut. As a matter of fact after that statement they showed Hayden's head spinning around so fact it's a wonder it didn't fly off his shoulders; but he held his tongue (as did Enzo) for obvious reason. The same obvious reason they have been nice with ALL their goodbye messages and parting words to the evicted HGs.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

michel 10811 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

09-11-10, 02:26 PM (EST)
Click to EMail michel Click to send private message to michel Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
7. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
"Hayden is surprisingly well-spoken for a 24-year old college student"

That, my friend, can work both ways! The jury will see that the guy has everything already: He's a member of "one of the most successful baseball programs in the country." He's young and handsome and well-spoken and probably has a model-girlfriend, Kristen, waiting for him after this. He cruised through the game without much difficulties.

Compared to "ordinary" family man Enzo, will the jurors think he needs the money? If Enzo can hit those notes AND remind them that a HUGE part of the reason why Hayden had it so easy in the house was because of HIS alliance, then he could get some votes.


"There was never a question in my mind after the strongest competitors were eliminated Hayden would run the table..."

Here we go again! I cannot believe you think so much of the values of those mickey mouse challenges that you proclaim Rachel, Brendon, Matt and Ragan as "strong competitors". Granted, Brendon is athletic but he seemed poorly coordinated, a swimmer out of water! As for the other 3? Jokes who succeeded only because those challenges are jokes. I could win against those bozos!


"BTW, hasn't Brigade member Matt been in the Jury House for a while? Rather odd such a "disloyal" scoundrel like Matt hasn't outed the Brigade alliance already???? HMMMMMM"

That is one of the funniest things you ever wrote! I'm not sure which alternative I find funnier? On the one hand, it would be hilarious if "genius" Matt still thought he had a reason to be loyal to the Brigade after they took the pants right off of him! On the other it's cracking me up that you think Matt was so loyal to the Brigade that he's still protecting them.

First, we don't know for sure it wasn't revealed. The editors could be waiting for finale night to unleash that "grenade". If Matt hasn't revealed the existence of the Brigade, it could only be for selfish reasons: He's waiting for the right time to explode his grenade and, in the mean time, he's preserving the only thing that won't totally ruin his life in the jury house, the lie that he was alone, trying his best, when in fact he was protected by those guys for a long time.

If you believe Matt was loyal to the Brigade, ask your wife this simple question: Can there be loyalty without honesty?

Finally, Brit's parting words, compared to Rachel's, were in sync with what the guys said in the Diary Room. They truly liked her. THAT's what I wrote.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

LFJ 363 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"

09-11-10, 04:51 PM (EST)
Click to EMail LFJ Click to send private message to LFJ Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
8. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
Thought I would break up your little party.

IMHO: If Enzo gets a final 2, he wins.

Hayden won the first HOH and promptly nominated Rachel and Brendon. You are right. I don't think they will split their vote. I can't hink of one juror that doesn't really like Enzo. They may like Hayden, too, but Hayden doesn't have the whole family thing going on, and he didn't engineer the "Brigade", which is why the three of them are where they are. Britney said it best: "Enzo played an immaculate social game".

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

michel 10811 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

09-11-10, 06:22 PM (EST)
Click to EMail michel Click to send private message to michel Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
10. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
The more the merrier!

If Enzo's position is as good as you say then that's unfortunate for him. He needs Hayden and Lane to think either could beat him. Maybe paranoia from whoever wins final HOH can help Enzo's cause.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

LFJ 363 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"

09-11-10, 06:44 PM (EST)
Click to EMail LFJ Click to send private message to LFJ Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
12. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"

"He needs Hayden and Lane to think either could beat him. Maybe paranoia from whoever wins final HOH can help Enzo's cause."

I know. I know. I can hope can't I?

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"

09-11-10, 06:46 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Aruba Click to send private message to Aruba Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
13. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
If Hayden wins the Final HOH, Enzo should play the Britney card and say not only does Brit give her vote to Lane BUT she could do some campaigning in the Jury House and be a "poison pill" for whoever sits next to Lane.

If Lane wins, Enzo should try to convince him that the Jury will reward Hayden's endgame competition run.

He's got a better chance if Lane wins Final HOH. If Hayden wins he'll take Lane because he'll use Lane's family wealth to his advantage.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"

09-11-10, 06:37 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Aruba Click to send private message to Aruba Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
11. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
Hey LFJ...Welcome to the shindig!

Unfortunately I doubt we'll ever know for sure because I'd be surprised if Hayden takes Enzo to the Finals if he wins the three-part final competition.

Don't get me wrong; out of the F3 I'd like to see Enzo win. I guess I had way too many coaches in my time giving the same inspirational speech, "It's not how you start; it's how you finish."

That's why I don't think Rachel/Brendon would put so much weigh on Hayden nominating them week one. Even though Hayden made the nominations as HOH, for all intensive purposes it was more of the House's nominations; and I think the Skank-mance knows that.

As for Britney's statement that Enzo played an "immaculate social game," I truly believe that was more to make Enzo appear more dangerous so Hayden might use his POV to save her and make Enzo the replacement nomination. Even though making that statement, I believe Britney still gives her vote to Hayden if he sits next to Enzo. His endgame dominance would be hard to overlook and I could see a majority of the Jury rewarding him for that.

But like I said...we'll probably never get to see that play out.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"

09-11-10, 06:14 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Aruba Click to send private message to Aruba Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
9. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"

>Here we go again! I cannot believe you think so much of the values of those mickey mouse challenges that you proclaim Rachel, Brendon, Matt and Ragan as "strong competitors".

I said the evicted HGs were the strongest this season, and compared to the others they were. That's not to say they were strong compared to ALL the HGs who ever played the game. I was speaking in the context of just BB12. I'm sure you probably could beat those bozos...so could I...so could a ton of others if the CBS casting crew wasn't so inept.


My thinking with Matt is he's figuring if he cannot win this game at least let one of my Brigade members win. That's why I believe he has not outed the Brigade. What's so funny about that? I'll tell you what's funny--playing the edit card (yet again) to suggest he may have outed them but it just wasn't telecasted. Surely you jest...NOOOOO way they would keep that revelation until Finale Night. Gotta believe if Matt mentioned it, it would have been shown.

>If you believe Matt was loyal to the Brigade, ask your wife this simple question: Can there be loyalty without honesty?

Don't have to ask anyone; I'll refer to past history.
Brian (S5) was loyal to Clay but no one can consider him an honest man. Amanda was loyal to everyone she was alligned to, but stated when coming back from Exile Island that "the tide was so high she could not get any clues to the HII." A total lie. And Chilltown were loyally devoted to each other but Will/Boogie were a cesspool of dishonesty and lies.
Point being, there is absolutely NO correlation between being loyal to an alliance and telling lies in the game.

I acknowedge there were HGs who said good things about Britney. There were also those who didn't..."evil, sucky, b!tch," "spoiled brat," and just plain "B!tch" were descriptive terms that come to mind. Different people will always have different opinions.
Hey, isn't that what keeps this thread going! LOL

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

michel 10811 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

09-11-10, 07:04 PM (EST)
Click to EMail michel Click to send private message to michel Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
14. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
"I said the evicted HGs were the strongest this season, and compared to the others they were"

You blame casting, I blame production. Stupid challenges can be won by anyone with a bit of luck. Didn't Brit win more than Matt?!

"I'll tell you what's funny--playing the edit card (yet again) to suggest he may have outed them but it just wasn't telecasted. Surely you jest...NOOOOO way they would keep that revelation until Finale Night"

Editing has hidden many things over the years. Did you know that Tina had an alliance with Jerri, Colby and Mitchell within an hour of being dropped off in the Outback? That Chris had a F2 deal with Twila? That Austin was the first to make a fake idol? That Joe found a fake idol left by Taj? That Russell found his first idol only after seeing Jasmin looking in trees, discrediting his claim of finding it without a clue?

I don't know about this "grenade" but it wouldn't surprise me if they kept it a secret.

"Point being, there is absolutely NO correlation between being loyal to an alliance and telling lies in the game."

Point being wrong! I didn't mean just lies in the game but lies to one's ally. Brian was honest with Clay. Amanda told Parvati about her idol. Will was honest to Boogie. Matt constantly lied to the Brigade. Not just about his wife, but his nominations, his DPOV, etc...


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Aruba 1891 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"

09-11-10, 07:14 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Aruba Click to send private message to Aruba Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
15. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
BB puts a gag order on him about the DPOV and now Matt's a liar. Too funny.

Love to stick around and continue to spar with you but have to mosey on over to a friend's house to watch the Rutgers Football game.

Try to have fun without me. Later.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

tarata 3 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

01-03-11, 01:35 PM (EST)
Click to EMail tarata Click to send private message to tarata Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
16. "RE: Big Brother 12 Love/Loathe Final List"
Could you tell me where I can find Peter Needleman's book about Big Brother?
He is used the Needleman's scale and find the finalist's name by that way...he is a great expert!
  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

knowthetruth 5 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

03-25-11, 04:44 AM (EST)
Click to EMail knowthetruth Click to send private message to knowthetruth Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
17. "Should I spy?"
By Dr. Robert Huizenga
If you are a spouse who suspects your partner might be having an
affair, wants to find out if he/she is telling the truth or has a need to
discover details of the affair, this article is for you.
The desire, sometime a fairly strong desire to spy or find out
exactly what is happening between your partner and the other
person, is commonly very strong, especially at disclosure of the
affair or prior to that when you sense that something is off kilter.
7 Legitimate Motives for Spying
1. Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but yourself.
Probably for some time you have sensed something is different or
questioned the change of behavior in your partner. Perhaps you
confronted him/her and it was met with denial. This created a huge
dilemma for you because a part of you was screaming, Hey, this
doesn't fit! I don't believe it!
To deny this part of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a
tremendous internal turmoil.
If the truth as you suspect it is confirmed, you can take a deep breath
and at least know that you can trust yourself. You are NOT CRAZY!
Spying is a way to confirm your suspicions and trust more fully
your gut feelings.
2. Spying may help you feel connected to your partner who
seems to be steadily moving away from you. It is a way of
maintaining contact and have some sort of connection to this stranger
who once was well known.
Isn’t it like the game of hide-and-seek we used to play as children?
Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least it is a game, and a game
is at least some contact, (www.knowthetruth.info Email Surveillance Services)some involvement. You miss the connection
and try to find someway to maintain the ties.
3. Spying may be an honest attempt to bring resolution to the
relationship. You want to know the truth. You sense something does
not fit. You suspect there is a breach of something. You want to know
what you are up against. You are not willing to stand pat and wait.
You are a person of action. You want some sort of movement. You
want to get on with the relationship. You want to get on with your life.
You know that it is difficult maintaining your sanity when there might
be this huge elephant that no one is talking about. You want to
know the truth, face the truth, deal with the truth and be free.
4. If you suspect that this behavior might be the end of the
relationship, you want to protect yourself legally.
If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other
forms of deception may exist financially or in other areas of the
relationship. Having “evidence” does have some impact in some court
systems.
Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind of
affair facing you and the character of your spouse. Please read through
my “7 Reasons For an Affair” to determine the situation that faces you.
If your spouse is someone who can’t say no, doesn’t want to
say no or is acting out rage, please make sure to take
protective steps.
5. You want to protect yourself medically. You might be
concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. Your health may be at
stake. And, of course, you need to know.
Shame, guilt or self-absorption may be so powerful in your partner
that it gets in the way of responsibly informing you of the medical
dangers when another partner is sexually brought into your
relationship.
6. Secrets are work! There is not much written about the impact of a
secret in a relationship, but believe me, in over two decades of
working with strained relationships day in and day out, keeping a
secret has a powerful impact.
It is the proverbial elephant sitting in the room that no one dare talk
about. People take extraordinary measures to tip toe around it, but it
IS there. Emotionally, you can’t miss it.
Secrets are a drain. If the secret persists, its impact is felt in subtle
but insidious ways. People become physically ill, sometimes seriously
so. People become depressed. People start doing crazy things.
Children start acting out, stop achieving, become listless or exhibit a
host of other symptoms. Children, or the next generation, often carry
the emotional load.
You want to spy because you don’t want to live with a secret.
You want to discover the truth. You want to feel the freeing power of
the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution,
a rich relationship and a productive life.
7. Some of us like drama. Soap opera scenarios and adrenaline
based lives are a hallmark of our society. We get juiced or pumped up
entering into emotional relational triangles that offer intrigue.
Without adrenaline, life seems boring or mundane. Perhaps an
unspoken reason for an affair may be to fan the fire? Or, you may spy
to keep the sense of being alive a part of your life.
Is Spying an Invasion of Privacy?
My, how the person involved in the affair cries foul when he/she
discovers you are spying.
Outrage can be intense: “How dare you!! I never thought you would
stoop to that! How could you!? How can there be trust in this
relationship if you do that? This is none of your business; I don’t spy
and go behind your back! Now you know why I want to pull away from
you. How could I love anyone that would do something like that to
me? On and on.
Usually the person having the affair does not see or will not
admit the duplicity of his/her clandestine behavior.(www.knowthetruth.info Email Surveillance Services)
But you are made out to be the villain if you use detective work to discover the
truth. It doesn’t make sense, but then again not much about an affair
borders close to sanity.
Are you a morally corrupt duplicitous character hell bent on destroying
the integrity of a relationship through spying? No, of course not. The
integrity of the relationship has been destroyed through the affair. The
affair shattered the promises and mocked the vows that the two of you
made.
The affair invaded the domain of your marriage and crumbled its
protective boundaries. The affair broke the contract of the
marriage; it was the act of betrayal. Spying does not damage
the marriage. It is an attempt to seek the truth and resolve the
pain and deception.
Spying is often used to grasp the reality of the situation. It’s intent is
to find the truth. Only the truth can provide a foundation from which to
begin resolving the hurt, pain and forging a direction for the marriage
and enable each person in the marriage to attain health and sanity.
Are You Ready to Handle
What You Might Find?
Have you considered the many situations that spying might uncover?
Can you imagine the worst thing you might find? Predict what your
response will be to the worst-case scenario. Are you ready? Here are
some specific questions to ask yourself:
1) Do I have friends I can count on for support if I discover
the worst? Do they know I might need them? Have I told them
exactly how they might help me? Do I have the capacity to
stand back from the deep emotions and not get mired or
lost in destructive thoughts and feelings?
2) How have I handled emotional pain in the past? What if it gets
almost unbearable? If I encounter the worst possible emotional
hurt and pain, do I have a therapist I can contact
immediately and see soon to help me through the rough
sports?
3) What will be my strategy for what I find? Do I have a
strategy for the different scenarios? Do I have a strategy to
confront or not confront my spouse? How, when and under what
circumstances will I confront him/her?
4) What kind of strategy will I have for self-care?What will I need to do to keep myself functioning somewhat effectively?
5) Do I have a coach or an objective someone who can help
me develop strategies and goals for confrontation and
self-care and keep me focused and working on these
strategies and goals?
6) Do I know what kind of affair I might face? Do I know the
prognosis for that kind of affair? Have I educated myself
about affairs and what I must do to effectively resolve and move
through this crisis?
Spying is Not Revenge
Do not use what you find as ammunition for revenge. Sure, you
may have wonderfully violent fantasies of what you would really like to
do to him/her and the other person. This is very normal. But, don’t act
them out.
Using what you find to extract revenge will only lengthen the
time of pain and anger. It will undermine your integrity as a person,
lower your personal standards and make you exceedingly unattractive.
Resist the temptation to sling the mud!
Keep what you find to yourself.
You spy because the truth will set YOU free. The quickest cleanest way
to break free from the affair is to set your focus on you as you
navigate your way through the difficult weeks and months.
The sooner the two of you can face each other, without outside input
or influence,knowthetruth.info Email Surveillance Services
the better of you and the relationship will be.There usually is no reason to share new found information with
family, friends, children or the spouse of the other person. A
concern about sexually transmitted diseases or health risks might be
an exception. If it is important to share such information, do so
without much fanfare or drama.
And of course, if you pursue legal action, any information obtained
through spying is sometimes might be helpful to your attorney. Some
“evidence” does carry weight in particular states or districts.
  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top


Lock | Archive | Remove

Lobby | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
about this site   •   advertise on this site  •   contact us  •   privacy policy   •