LAST EDITED ON 04-26-04 AT 01:32 AM (EST)

Official Mad Mad House Episode 8 Summary
Hangin’ With Mrs. Cooper

Previously on Mad Mad House:

Noel wasn’t eliminated. Surprise!
Noel was eliminated. Surprise!

In between there was a bunch of b!tching and moaning and some drinking of blood. Four little monkeys are left, who will be voted off tonight?

The guests return from the Elimination Ceremony stunned at Noel’s departure. Eric says he wasn’t expecting it and just doesn’t know anymore, shocking the millions of viewers who didn’t realize he had ever known before. Nichole says, “It’s a crapshoot every time, unless you do something really horrifying. It’s a crapshoot.” Come on Snake Eyes! Jamie confesses that it was the most stressful elimination yet (that is, her eye makeup had a runniness factor of +10%) and that she wasn’t prepared for Noel to go. She tells the other that she has a stomachache. Drinking blood will do that to you.

Nichole confesses that she thinks Noel was eliminated because the Alts were led to believe he had an addiction to cold medicine. Nevermind that they were led to believe that by Noel himself (with assists from Loana and the Ancestors at 16:44 in the 3rd. You never want to let in those soft ones in the playoffs. Sorry, I’ve got hockey on the brain).

Loana is confused and asks if Noel said anything about her because it seemed like he thought it was her fault. Jamie says he thought when Ta’Shia asked about the cold medicine, she should have told her to go ask Noel. Maybe he would have rather had her tell Ta’Shia that the only thing he’s addicted to is lying. Flashback to Ta’Shia telling Art and Fiona that Loana had told her that Noel was still taking cold medicine and Fiona saying she trusts Loana and that she wouldn’t lie <cue laughtrack>. In all fairness to Loana, it does appear she didn’t lie, and didn’t understand the import of Ta’Shia’s question, that the Alts were concerned about a non-existent addiction. Of course, once she found the knife in his ribs, she didn’t hesitate to twist it.

Meanwhile, we see the Alts for the first time (that I can remember, at least) discussing roommate selection. Fiona wants to choose Eric because she wants to spend time with him before the next elimination ceremony. Art thinks that he needs a man-to-man rite of passage, and nominates the much more manly Avocado. Ta’Shia agrees that this may be just what he needs. Fiona, afraid that her boy toy may get eliminated, suggests she have him for one night and Avocado have him the other. Art pounds his fist and questions why she’s so adamant about getting one more night in with him (ho-ho!). Fiona assures him that she’s not babying him. Yeah, I’m sure that’s what he’s worried about. Unless that’s code for something. I mean, I hear some people are into that “babying” stuff, and this is a haven of alternative lifestyles, so weird fetishes might fit right in.

Fiona says most of what she’s done with him is cut him off at the head. That sounds painfully enough like a (modern) primitive man-to-man rite of passage right there, so what is Art complaining about? She says she crucified him and made a space around him to see if he’d build himself up, and he did. Avocado says he needs to put him through the fire (now why didn’t they think of that for this week’s Witch’s Trial? But more on that later). Poor Eric, being beheaded, crucified, and burned at the stake. What are they going to do next, hang the poor guy?

Fiona pouts and drops the subject, and says they can take him this time and she will have him if he survives the next elimination. Agreed, they head to the living room to announce the roommate selections. Ta’Shia, chooses Jamie, Art chooses Nichole, and Avocado chooses Eric, to Fiona’s grimace of disapproval. Fiona announces that she and Don don’t want to spend any time with Loana with the excuse that it would be good for her to spend some time alone. Loana, rightly offended, asks what she means by that. Fiona says “Just what I said, time alone” but insists that it’s not punishment. Loana has tears in her eyes, but holds out until she’s in the Big-A$$ Throne of Confession to cry and say she’s really hurt *sniff* but is just *sniff* going to keep quiet *sniff* because if she *sniff* says anything it’s just going to come back on her *sniff* and they’re going to think she’s done something wrong *sniff* again *sniff* and she’s really confused right now *sniff* and is going to go eat worms.

In Avocado’s room, said Alt is informing Eric that he and Art both cannot have him be the winner if he leaves and goes back to nightclubbing and chasing girls “in that way” again. Eric tells him that he knows that lack of purpose has been his problem for a long time. In confessional he says that Avocado has taken him under his wing and so he’s going to try and say and do the right things and hopefully walk away with a little bit of money in his pocket. Yeah, maybe they’ll spring for bus fare or something.

Coming up on Mad Mad House, Fiona has a breakdown, and the guests are sent to the gallows. But first, commercials. Quizno’s Mesquite Chicken with Bacon for $2.99. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm toasty! Whatever happened to the Quizno’s freaky-eyed, bowler-hat-wearing, “singing” hamsters? I bet they’re off filming as hosts of Mad Mad House 2. (“We love tha moooon! Cause it is always full! On Mad Mad House! I’m a creepy little mouse and I escaped from the lab and I’m trying to take over the world Pinky just like we do every night! We like tha moon!!!!” Oops, wrong mice).

In the kitchen, Fiona is playing with a snake (not Eric’s) and informs Jamie and Loana that she’d like to do a ritual to reinforce what “real” witchcraft is, but she’s not sure if Loana wants to participate. Hey Fiona, maybe if you’d quit with the backhanded invitations she’d be more willing! Loana asks what kind of ceremony it is, and Fiona says it’s more of a gift-giving thing, really. Like Christmas and Santa Clause, I guess; Loana shouldn’t have any problem with that. Loana says she’d love to be part of it, but would prefer not to have to repeat the casting of spells and stuff (don’t worry Loana, last time her “spell” was a Euro Goth song, this time it will probably just be her grocery list). Fiona tells Loana they’re not becoming witches or anything, and it’s not denying the role of faith; rather, it’s about new experiences. Loana tells her she wants to think about it for a little while. Fiona confesses that she’s worked very hard to open Loana up, and work on issues of fear and intolerance, but now is exhausted with her. Since she’s been so very patient in episodes two through seven and hasn’t freaked out on her or insulted her at all. Maybe she needs to take a nap.

Eric says Fiona came outside very upset about Loana, and so he decided to leave a little present on her pillow, a flower and a note, and then runs off to hide and see if she guesses her secret admirer. Fiona enters her bedroom, sees the flower and wonders aloud who left it for her. She knows it’s for her because the note has a pentagram on it. No, Fiona! It’s The Star! Did Eric need to write little “To:” and “For:” tags on it? The fact that it’s on your pillow should be clue enough who the “To:” is!

Jamie helps Fiona set up for the ritual, and they gossip about who left her the note. Maybe it was the quarterback or that guy with the dreamy eyes in her math class. Jamie thinks it looks like Loana’s handwriting. Fiona puts it in the middle of her Witch’s Circle and gushes in confessional about how Loana had extended the hand of friendship of her own volition, and that it made her all warm inside. I don’t remember the punchline, but the joke is Fiona.

Jamie goes to find Loana to see if she’s going to come up to the ritual, and finds her in the yard in deep conversation with Art. He tells her not to let him keep her from anything, but Loana chooses poorly and decides to stay outside rather than attend, but thanks her for checking.

The others gather in Fiona’s room, and she is a bit disappointed that Loana isn’t coming, but says she guesses she’s there in spirit since she put the flower on her pillow. Eric gapes in disbelief that she didn’t remember their Star. It’s like dancing with someone else during your song! Fiona waves around her knife and conjures a circle to be a boundary between the realm of the everyday and the eternal planes and then brak brak braks about being gods and goddesses, with Eric the whole while looking like he just got dumped.

Later, with the guests chilling out in the living room, Fiona asks Loana if she was the one who left the surprise on her pillow. Loana says she doesn’t know what it was, so she doesn’t think she did it. Fiona is crushed and stumped, until Detective Loana solves the mystery, asking Eric if it was him. Eric mumbles, blushes, aww shucks, and digs his toe in the dirt. Fiona gives him a hug. Eric confesses that it was a fiasco, and that next time he will write his name down, E-R-I-C. Very good Eric, you can spell your name! But Fiona will probably still find a way to mess it up. Of course, from the roommate arguments, it appears she’s ready to give you her flower too.

Fiona (probably embarrassed that she was so wrong) then turns on Loana and says she thought she was capable of that, and that it meant so much to her, but maybe she needs to learn the lesson that she’s not. Loana and the audience give Fiona a WTF? look. Just because her Secret Admirer wasn’t who she had hoped it would be, she’s mad at the Not Secret Admirer? I guess Hell hath no fury like a Wiccan scorned (or a Wiccan not-really-scorned-but-somehow-still-offended-in-her-own-warped-mind). In her bedroom, Fiona says it feels like a bucket of cold water has been dumped on her, and that she had been working hard to keep Loana in the game, and now she realizes she’s been a sucker. You just now realized that you were a sucker? But you still have the completely wrong reason(s) why you’re being a sucker, Sucker!

Loana comes in to try and clear the air. She asks Fiona if she’s upset. Her lips quiver, but she doesn’t answer. Loana offers to let her have some space right now if she wants.

Fiona: You hurt my feelings, that’s all.
Loana: I hurt your feelings?
Fiona (voice quavering): You’ve done it before.
Loana: About what, you hormonal bwitch?
Fiona: I just realized that I’ve been giving and giving and giving and giving and giving and giving to you. And you’ve been taking and taking and taking and taking and taking. And guess what, I’m emptied out, I’ve got nothing in here. A big empty hole.

No Fiona, I think you meant to point to your head when you said that. She says she’s exhausted and then goes off on her for getting upset at being exiled to the dorm, asking her if she even realizes what she’s doing. Oh, that’s rich, Fiona preaching about self-awareness!

Despite being dumbfounded by Fiona’s irrational verbal assault, Loana tries to politely explain that this is a mind game for her too, and that she just wanted to understand why she wasn’t selected, and so asked. Fiona begins babbling on about how she’s spent more time with Loana encouraging her, telling her not to give up, keeping her in the game, defending her to the Alts, saying she’s a “voice of Christ-consciousness” and a wonderful girl, but now she’s starting to wonder what the hell is going on in her, never letting Loana get a word in edgewise. Her voice breaks and she says she feels like she’s being treated like crap and that she’s gotten nothing from her. Nothing!

Stunned Loana is on the verge of tears, and tells Fiona that she has tried, a lot, and that this is difficult for her too. She heads to her own room so they can have their own individual pity-parties, confessing that she doesn’t know what she’s done wrong and doesn’t know how to answer Fiona.

Back in the living room, the Final Four are all nervous about Fiona’s upcoming Trial, convinced that they need to win or they’re toast. Jamie says the Alts worry about her in trials and that she has to keep focused, or they’ll think she’s slipping and will eliminate her.

The Alts shepherd the Norms out to the pool, where they find a gallows constructed. Nichole worries about the nooses. Fiona welcomes them to the gallows, and tells them that the winner of the trial will be safe from elimination, will sit in deliberation with the Alts, and will cast the tie-breaking vote should the Alts’ vote result in a tie.

She gives them a history lesson, saying that in the summer of 1692, hundreds of men and women were accused of witchcraft in Salem, Massachusetts. Nineteen of them took the horrifying journey to the top of Gallows Hill, where they were hanged for their convictions. Honoring the memories of those who have fallen before them is the theme of tonight’s Trial. It’s a combination Fallen Comrades/Native Culture/Three Strikes And You’re Out/Mole Quiz challenge. She will ask them questions about the former guests, and to answer, they must pull the card bearing the name of the correct ex-guest from their bag. If they get a question wrong, they move one step closer to their execution. With the warning “don’t let the past come back to haunt you,” she commences with the Inquisition.

Question 1: Brent was the first former guest to win a Trial <flashback to Brent in the Blood Bath>. Who was the second former guest to win a Trial?
Eric answers Bonnie.
Loana answers No One.
Nichole answers Bonnie.
Jamie answers No One.
The correct answer is Bonnie <flashback to Bonnie yelling “I am goddess, dammit!” at the Voodoo No Guts No Glory Trial>.

Jamie confesses she pulled the wrong name out, and doesn’t know what happened. Don’t worry Jamie, I always got that No One guy confused with Bonnie too. Fiona gives Loana and Jamie the Mark of the Witch, a streak of black ash on their foreheads.

Question 2: At Art’s Suspension Showcase, which former guests sat next to each other?
Eric: No One and Noel.
Loana: Noel and Tim.
Nichole: Noel and Tim.
Jamie: Tim and No One.
Correct Answer: Noel and Tim.

Fiona places the Mark of the Witch on Eric’s forehead, and places the noose around Jamie’s neck. Jamie gulps and confesses this is her worst trial ever. That’s really saying something.

Question 3: At Avocado’s Naked Concentration Trial, which former guest had no matches at all?
Eric: Bonnie.
Loana: Bonnie.
Nichole: Bonnie.
Jamie: No One.
Correct Answer: Bonnie.

Jamie whiffs at three straight pitches, and will pay the price for dishonoring the memory of her former guests. At least she kept her focus. Fiona, deciding that being Jeff Probst and Anderson Cooper isn’t enough, adds Mark L. Wahlberg (thankfully the Russian Roulette version, not the Temptation Island version) to her resume and pulls the switch, sending Jamie plunging into the pool below while the other guests look on in horror. I guess the next phase of the trial is to see if they can breathe underwater. Maybe we’ll get some good old-fashioned burning at the stake after all, woohoo!

Avocado confesses that he is strongly considering putting a necklace around Jamie’s neck for her poor performance.

Question 4: At Don’s Blood Bath Trial, Kelly had the most objects in her goblet <flashback of Kelly counting and crying about everyone hating her>. Which male former guest had the most items in his goblet?
Eric: Tim.
Loana: Hamin.
Nichole: Hamin.
Jamie: *gurgle*
Correct Answer: Hamin.

Eric curses, and Fiona places the noose around his neck.

Question 5: Which former guest was Avocado’s third roommate?
Eric: Noel.
Loana: Tim.
Nichole: Noel.
Correct Answer: Tim.

Nichole gets the Mark of the Witch, but Eric still gets to hang around, so to speak. I just realized that at least one question was cut between Questions 3 and 4, because Nichole already has the Mark, and now gets the noose put around her neck (maybe the question was “What is the number of the Mole’s journal?”).

Question 6 (or whatever): Which former guest was Ta’Shia’s second roommate?
Loana: Kelly.
Nichole: Tim.
Correct Answer: Tim.

Fiona places the noose around Loana’s neck, and we’re all tied up one step away from execution! It may come down to who finishes the fastest!

Question 7: Which former guest was my (Fiona’s) first roommate?
Loana: Noel.
Nichole: Hamin.
Correct Answer: Hamin.

My, my, my, Nichole sure knows a lot about who is sleeping with whom, doesn’t she? Loana’s third incorrect answer means she’ll be sleeping with the fishes. Nichole wins immunity!

After the trial, Fiona powwows with Ta’Shia in the latter’s room. She says she’s going to pull Eric aside and tell him to “remember the star.” Uhh, Fiona? He’s not the one that forgot.

Ta’Shia wonders aloud where Jamie is and if she’s scared to come over. Fiona says she thinks she’s cleaning the bathroom, and for once Fiona is right about something! Eric tells us that Art and Avocado wanted them to help clean the bathroom, and that although he really didn’t want to do it, he wasn’t about to throw up a red flag by not helping. Anal-retentive Avocado instructs them to get all the door handles too. Jamie thinks that if they clean the toilet with their tongues they get 100 points.

Eric asks Jamie who her roommate is, and she tells him Iya Ta’Shia, but that she’s sleeping. She says she was really tired, and Eric says she looked exhausted. Jamie says she had stuff to do so she didn’t want to bother her. But Ta’Shia confesses that she’s upset that Jamie didn’t come and spend time bonding with her in favor of cleaning Art and Avocado’s bathrooms. Hey Ta’Shia! Not everyone can read minds or ask the ancestors what to do!

The next morning, Avocado comes out and tells the guests that their mission, should they choose to accept it, is to track two people all day. In the first person they are to look for things that are excellent, and in the second person they are to look for things that are not excellent. Didn’t we already have this sit in the middle of the hot tub and give each other sappy affirmation session, or was that another show? Then they are to present a gift that corresponds to the excellence they found in the first person, and a warning to the second person. He tells them he’s looking for bravery. Eric, in what I believe is a reused confessional, says that some of what is going on seems ridiculous to him.

While Loana thinks of giving the excellence gifts to the Alts, Eric says he is trying to win, and wants to reveal the faults of the other guests, and that Jamie’s never going to see it coming. Come on, Eric, Jamie would never be blindsided! Oh, wait…

Later that day, they reconvene for Avocado’s Ultra Lame Raw Food Showcase/Gift Giving Ceremony. What’s with all the gift giving ceremonies today? Maybe it really is Christmas in the Mad Mad House. Avocado first shows off one of the most special foods on the whole earth, the sacred food of the Malaysian nation, the durian. He says it is the favorite food of the elephant and is a cross between Banana Cream Pie and onions and that it has a little bit of a sulfur overtone. Yummy. Eric confesses that he thought it was disgusting, and although Vampires allegedly don’t fear garlic, they apparently have issues with the durian, as Don gags and flings the piece of food away.

They begin the gifting ceremony while snacking on durian. Eric is up first and says “This person is in great physical shape. She is caring, she has plenty of positive energy.” Shocking everyone in the home and studio audiences, he concludes by saying “this person is Nichole.” And he wrote a poem, and I’m not making a word of this up.

You may think I only see the bad
But that wouldn’t be very rad.

Nichole confesses that initially she and Eric had a little bit of tension, but that they’re both worthy contenders, and that she thinks he really gets it now. Whatever “it” is. If you think he doesn’t see through your fakeness anymore, you’ve got another think coming to you sister.

I know this poem is not that clever
So it will end, and have the best day ever.

Eric and Nichole hug, and Eric confesses that he thinks the Alts are eating it up. Proving him right, Fiona confesses that Eric and Nichole were headbutting, so to see them flip and show each other unconditional love and appreciation for each other made them all say “Wow, this is amazing!”

Nichole then presents her excellence gift to Eric in the form of a godawful rap. I can’t bear to repeat it hear for you. Let’s just say this: Eminem she ain’t. She could really use lessons from Don. Hell, she could use lessons from Gabriel Cade. Eric can barely keep himself from laughing hysterically, but Nichole thinks he really liked it, proving herself to be about as perceptive as Fiona. Unfortunately for us all, the worst is yet to come from Nichole.

Loana confesses that she thinks Eric and Nichole are playing strategy because it’s odd for them to give each other excellence gifts. I say it’s perfectly natural, as it probably takes two such remarkably unexcellent people to find excellence in the other. Eric, however, is not happy with the butt kissing exhibited by Jamie and Loana giving their excellence gifts to the Alts. Jamie’s is a bunch of flowers floating in a bowl of water for Art. Loana’s is a rock for Ta’Shia.

Avocado then instructs them to give their Not Excellent Gifts now. Nichole gives a screeching cat performance of a song she wrote for Avocado, with the gripe that they haven’t had enough one-on-one time (for her to properly kiss his butt), that makes John Stevens sound like Pavaratti. Eric says “Your singing made me want to vomit.” Randy says “I just wasn’t feeling you tonight, Dawg.” Paula says “It wasn’t your best performance, but your past performances should keep you safe.” Simon says “Simply dreadful. It reminds me of that gay midget rodeo clown karaoke in the bar last night with Ryan.” Ryan says “As you know, America voted…and they agreed with the judges. You are in the bottom three tonight.”

Immediately following the show, millions of angry posts will explode all over the internet saying “How could Jennifer Hudson be voted off and that horrible Little Miss Fakey Pants, Nichole, is still there?!? It’s a conspiracy!!!”

Eric wonders how Avocado not having one-on-one time with Nichole is a non-excellent trait. I see his point, because if there’s such a thing as guilt by association, this should make Avocado quite excellent indeed. Eric says he wants to throw her singing bleepity bleep out the window. Avocado, however, is apparently quite deaf, because he steals the line from Eric’s poem and proclaims it the best day ever.

Eric is next to present his Unexcellence Gift, and says “This person acts before they think. This person has a tough time staying focused. And, uh, I was talking about Jamie…She cracks under pressure…Sometimes the hardest things to say, help someone another day.” Just hopefully not before they get voted off. He confesses that he thinks Jamie is his biggest competition. She confesses that she’s pissed because she’s made a lot of changes and has worked her butt off. Just not in the challenges.

We go to commercial without hearing who or what Jamie and Loana’s Unexcellence Warnings are for. I know you’re quite distraught. We come back from commercial to find Eric drooling over Fiona oiling herself up in her bikini. To cover up his ogling he pretends like he’s thinking about her tattoos and how one of her books said each one means something (oh, that’s smooth Eric! Pretend like you’ve read her book! Hope there’s not a quiz). Fiona says if he rubs oil on her back she’ll tell him all about it. He jokes, “I get stuck with all the tough jobs, Art” and Art replies, “Yeah, I feel for you, man.” Fiona tells him to remember the point system, but all I can remember is Jamie and the toilet.

Eric says he gave Fiona a sensual massage </AustinPowers> and that it definitely was not the hardest massage to give. Fiona tells him he can have his hands all over her for twenty more minutes so to make the most of it. Fiona yelps and says she’s being bitten by ants. Art says “No, that was Eric,” and everyone has a good giggle.

While Art is being a voyeur out on the lawn with Eric and Fiona, we see Avocado and Nichole in the exercise room, which apparently hasn’t existed until this episode. Avocado is doing barbell curls while Nichole stretches and talks. And talks and talks and talks, about cardio and diet and abs and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Good Lord, the girl does not shut up. Avocado says that initially Nichole made a great impression on him, but sometimes he just wants to smack her (okay, that part was me speaking, but I’m sure Avocado was thinking it too). He doesn’t know if she really takes the nutrition stuff to heart either. What? Nichole being shallow and disingenuous? Say it ain’t so!

Apparently dinner was uneventful, and we skip straight to the Deliberation. Avocado asks Art for his thoughts on Eric. He says that he would vote for him if he decided it was too little too late. Ta’Shia says “It’s very clear that he wants to win this, and I don’t blame him. He should! But if I thought for a moment that he was fakin’ and frontin’ wit us, I’d put my bling-bling around his neck, yo.” Fiona says she would give a necklace to Eric so that she didn’t have to give one to Loana.

Fiona says she thinks it has gotten too personal between her and Loana, and compares her to an animal that you feed until it bites your hand. Competeing with Fiona for Most Inappropriate Analogy, Don says the thing that annoys him about Loana is that she’s like a piece of chocolate that smells good at first but then starts to melt in your hand and you want to wipe it off but not on yourself. Ooookaaayyy….The look on Avocado’s face as he tries to decipher Vampire Gump’s complaint must be the same one on mine. Nevertheless, he says that maybe this is not Loana’s game. Ta’Shia says that none of their guests were cut out to be there, and that the hard cases like Loana have been the interesting ones for her. She says Loana has broken a lot of walls down.

Avocado thinks Jamie’s performance in the Trial made her look bad. Ta’Shia says she’s been sailing through based on the Alts’ like for her, and that she hasn’t done the most work in terms of spiritual growth, has never won a trial, and never even come close to winning one. Avocado agrees, but says he’s not sure they’re in a place to give warning necklaces anymore. Don says they’re not here to give any lessons anymore when it comes to giving necklaces and that they need to stick, stick, stick to their word, the way they’re supposed to stick to their word.

The clock strikes midnight, and the Norms file out to poolside with trepidation. Don welcomes them to the Elimination Ceremony.

Fiona votes first, for Jamie. She says she has to put her personal feelings aside and vote for her because Loana has won more challenges and made more changes in her life. This may be the most mature thing Fiona has done to date, but Don’s reaction is unpleased, as the previews for next week will make clear.

Art votes next, for Loana, saying “You are a beautiful person; the world is yours. Try to broaden and open your horizons.”

Ta’Shia votes for Jamie saying she is upset that Jamie cleaned a bathroom rather than spending more time getting to know her when she selected her as her roommate. Why don’t you give her a Magic 8 Ball or something so she’ll know what to do next time? She says that she does not see enough seriousness or commitment to finding her path and her fire.

Don votes for Loana, saying hopefully they will meet again when she is “chronologically older” so that she is able to accept what they’re talking about. I think you meant to take a clumsy swipe at her maturity (which is something akin to Fiona talking about self-awareness earlier), so I don’t think it’s her chronological age you mean there buddy. Also? Stop with the freaking fake-outs when you’re giving necklaces already! All of you, but Don is the worst about it. It was kind of cool the first couple times, but you all do it everytime and now it’s just annoying!

Don recaps that Jamie and Loana both have two necklaces, and asks Avocado to cast his vote. He looks into Jamie’s eyes before voting for Loana, saying “Many blessings on your journey.”

Loana steps forward to receive her Farewell Ceremony. Her Final Words, voiced over tearful embraces and good-byes to housemates and Alts are “It felt great when Fiona and I hugged each other, because it made me feel so much more at ease that it ended up on a good note. I am a little more open-minded after going through the house. I developed a stronger inner self, learning about who I am. I think overall it was a really positive experience.”

Next week on the season finale of Mad Mad House:

The Alts hate Fiona for giving a “warning” necklace to Jamie. Don tells her not to lie to herself. Dammit, don’t make me defend Fiona you dorks! Her reasoning seemed worthy and noble to me, not wanting to cast a vote out of anger or hurt. And besides, wouldn’t Ta’Shia’s also be a warning necklace then?

Jamie and Eric team up to oust Nichole, with much talk about fake breasts and overflowing cups, or something like that.

The guests themselves must suspend from hooks in Art’s final Trial.

The previously eliminated guests come back to visit (oh MBFOV, how I've missed you).

The pressure of the final Elimination pits Alt against Alt, as they try to decide who should win the $100,000 prize.

And Swami will be here to tell you all about it. Thanks for sharing the fun with me