Alrighty, so before I get started, I just wanted y’all to know that this it my first episode summary of any show, ever…and I don’t think I’m quite as fierce as Tyra or anything (), but I’ll try my best to keep you entertained while reading my little summary, here. OK, let’s get the ball rolling.
PREVIOUSLY on America’s Next Top Model…
Gina lost her nerve during the mock press conference, and afterwards Jade pushed her over the edge. Bald was beautiful (for some more than others) during the photo shoot, and unfortunately the judges just couldn’t see a Top Model in the “southern belle” Kathy, and she was sent home. “Twelve girls remain, who will be eliminated tonight?”
*Cue intro and music*
The show starts, and we see an overhead view of the city at night, followed by a view of the pool. We then hear squeals of delight that sound like “Tyra Mail! Tyra Mail!!!!” Some girl with red hair...what was her name...oh yeah, Mollie Sue. Sorry, it’s hard to remember names when people are nearly invisible in the first episode...anywho, Mollie Sue reads the Tyra Mail out loud:“Think about tonight’s cut, because there will be more at 7:30 AM. –Tyra”
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOooooo...what could it mean? Jade certainly doesn’t know, because according to her, her heart is beating so fast that it’s in her neck. Yes, that’s right. Not her throat. Her neck. We get the pleasure of seeing her "beautiful" face up-close in her confessional as she complains about Nigel insinuating that she’s arrogant. Jade claims, once again, that she’s “down to earth”, as “people that know her” allegedly know...sure, Jade.
We get more Jade as she, Furonda, and Sara are lounging in one of the numerous bedrooms. Jade talks some smack about Gina, and Furonda says she’s too harsh. Furonda hopes Jade won’t bring up some crap about Furonda getting her picture last at the elimination, but if Jade does, Furonda will “deal with it”.
Next scene. The girls are sitting in the car(s) on the way to their destination in the morning, and the girls notice Wendy is kinda spacing out. Wendy explains that it's because she’s still trying to get over Katrina in N’Orleans. We get a confessional from Kari, who provides us with the incredibly profound statement that “Wendy must have a lot on her mind”.
Of course, all of that was just 8 minutes or so of fluff, and now it’s time for something that's actually important to happen...
Our models arrive at the Warren Tricomi salon, where Tyra, the two Jays, and three other random people are waiting for them. Surprise, surprise, Tyra lets the girls know that it’s a day of (as she said it) “trans-for-mation”. Jade (once again) provides us with another confessional, in which she says she needs long hair because that’s what sells in the fashion industry. Hmm, foreshadowing, anyone?
Tyra introduces the “masters” with whom she is standing; Joel Warren, celebrity hair colorist, and Edward Tricomi, celebrity hair stylist. The other, third guy remains nameless for some reason. Tyra then takes the liberty of revealing to the girls what each of their new do’s are going to look like:
Kari gets a style that looks like that of Brigitte Bardot.
Leslie’s hair becomes thicker, and more luscious.
Sara's hair will be shorter on the sides, and longer on the top, colored a Brigitte Nielsen platinum blonde.
Danielle's hair = side perk, long weave, with Spanish wavy hair.
Brooke reminds the judges of "Victoria's Secret, high fashion", so she receives a Gisele Bundchen-esque coif.
Joanie's hair simply becomes a bit more blonde, and a little more “icy”.
Nnenna impressed the judges so much with her first photo (the bald one) that they’re getting rid of her hair altogether.
Furonda gets teased for her wig at the auditions, and her hair at the elimination. Tyra says she’ll be getting extensions so her hair looks like that of Tiffany from Cycle 4, long and straight.
Wendy's hair will be, in the words of Tyra: “Lighter”, “honey”, “delicious”
Gina will be getting some edgy cuts and angles, so as to be more high fashion and essentially less "mall girl".
Mollie Sue gets the Mia Farrow cut that Cassandra was supposed to get in Cycle 5.
And last but not least (well, sorta), Jade needs a “softer, sweeter” look, so they are cutting her hair to about an inch long, blonde, with blondish eyebrows.
There's a mini-montage of the girls’ hair getting clipped and whatnot, as some of the girls complain, like Jade (why'd she have to show up so much in this episode?), who doesn't like her hair short, and Sara, who feels her cut doesn’t match her personality at all.
Jay Manuel then walks around to each of the girls and asks them individually what they feel their personal style would be. Brooke, “1940’s-50’s vintage”; Gina, “simplistic chic”; Mollie Sue, “mod”; Furonda, “quirky beautiful”; Kari, “bohemian chic”; Nnenna, “new African queen”; Sara, “street chic”; Joanie, “all-american”; Leslie, “simplistic sexy chic”; Wendy, “urban glam”; Danielle, “hip hop glam”; Jade, “bohemian”.
The girls are all assembled into one large group, and Jay tells them that they will be going to the GenArt fashion show, where they will need to pick out the outfit that they think best matches their new hair, while fitting the style that they described to him.
On the ride back to the loft, Jade gets even more face time, as she leafs through a magazine, whining about how all the girls in it have long hair. She says, and this is an exact quote, “They want to test me…The judges don’t want to make it seem easy because I’m sure the world is like, oh – this girl…this girl got something.” Right, Jade. The one thing you managed to overlook is that this show was pre-taped several months before the world even heard about you…um, yeah. Anyway, they get back to the loft and Jade then decides to b*tch in her confessional about Furonda being into her new hair, constantly looking into mirrors, and that “that is a true ‘Miss Diva’.”
Well, Furonda decides upon getting inside that it’s a good time to hand out copies of her so-called "rules" to everybody else in the house. These rules include the following:
1. “I will treat you in a way identical to, or worse than, the way you treat me.”
2. “I am the best person to discuss me with.”
3. “If you need anything other than emergency items, please do not ask me.”
4. “Stay out of my personal business unless I invite you in.”
We’re subject to more complaining from Jade, now in regards to this subject, and it’s time for a commercial break.
Break is done, get off the john and keep reading. Alright. So we see a little bit more of the girls at the loft, continuing to talk about their new hair, and then they’re off to see the
wizard GenArt fashion show. They seat themselves, and we see models walking down the runway. The producers decide that now is a good time to remind us of Wendy’s existence, and she says she was out of it for a bit because she was thinking about New Orleans once again.
The fashion show ends, and the girls go backstage, where it’s Challenge Time!
The girls get to run among the clothing racks and find the outfit that they want for this challenge. They search for their clothes, and- oh wait, Jade wants to tell us something! Let’s listen in case she has something useful to say...
“I’m having a hard time adjusting to my hair...I don’t even feel like I belong on this planet.”
Oh, guess not. And by the way, Jade, I figured out you didn’t belong on this planet a while ago, alright?
Alright. So the girls get their outfits together, and Mr. Jay tells them that was just phase one, and that there’s a Part Deux to this challenge. They leave, we see the cars zooming down the street, the girls get out.
The contestants then enter a studio, where some vertically-challenged woman greets them. It’s Rachel Zoe, celebrity stylist. She recaps what they’ve already done, and then tells them they have 15 minutes to do hair, make-up, and wardrobe, but that they’ll have a little help from a CoverGirl...it’s...
Naima, winner of Cycle 4! She tells them to make sure their makeup brings their beauty out, and gives us a product placement for the new Queen line of Covergirl products. Rachel takes over and lets the girls know that the winner gets a $5,000 shopping spree at Nanette Lepere. The challenges starts, and we see the girls scrambling to put on makeup and get dressed, etc.
Their time runs out, Rachel stops them, and they all get stand up on a runway. Rachel gives each one her critique, and the only people who she doesn't have any true complaints about are Leslie, Nnenna, and Furonda. So who's the winner?
...Nnenna! Rachel reveals that Nnenna gets to pick two pals to go along with her on her wonderful shopping spree. The first person she picks is Gina, her roommate. Nnenna then makes her second selection: Jade, since she hopes that perhaps this experience will help Gina and Jade get to know each other better and perhaps become friendly with one another. How could you not love Nnenna? Anyway, they go shopping, and there isn’t really any type of relationship development between Gina and Jade. Oh well. You gave it a try "new African queen".
The shopping spree ends, and the three (Nnenna, Jade, and Gina) arrive back at the house. Jade continues to irritate people by showing a complete lack of respect for anybody else's feelings.
Jade ends up talking on the phone with her mom, telling her mother that “these girls are horrible”, and that “they’re trying to corrupt” Jade. Sara then pops up and does a confessional, in which she gives probably one of the best insults I’ve heard in a while, which is, “The peroxide’s messing with her brain.” More babbling amongst the aspiring models, and then...they get more Tyra Mail! This time, it simply reads:“Don’t blow your cover. –Tyra”
It's the next day, and the girls show up at a warehouse, they walk in and are shocked to find that it is freezing inside, literally.
Jay Manuel and their photographer, Richard Reinsdorf are waiting inside, where Mr. Jay reveals that their next photo shoot will be taken on a set made completely from ice, and that they will be shot as though it is for a magazine cover. We see the girls head to make-up, and they then take their photos. Some of the girls seem to have problems with the temperature of the set, while others work very well even under the harsh conditions.
The girls finish up and come back to the loft, where there is still more Tyra Mail awaiting them. This time it tells them that one more person will be eliminated and only eleven girls will continue on in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model.
They show up at the elimination “ceremony”, where Tyra tells them all about their fabulous prizes; a contract with Ford Models, a spread in Elle magazine, and a $100,000 contract with Covergirl Cosmetics. The judges: Nigel Barker, noted fashion photographer; Miss J. Alexander, legendary runway coach; Twiggy, fashion icon and living legend; and their guest judge, Rachel Zoe.
Danielle is the first to stand in front of the judges, and they like her photo. The only criticism comes from Nigel, who says to not wear her hair to one side all the time. Next is Kari, who is fine, followed by Leslie, whose photo is a bit too “men’s magazine” for Twiggy. Mollie Sue steps up, then Wendy. Wendy’s picture is a bit too safe for the judges, and she is called more of an actress than a model in the picture. Joanie is next, then Sara, Brooke, Furonda, Gina, and then Nnenna, who Miss J says could put a “chill on a popsicle”. Jade is last to step up, and Twiggy says Jade scares her a little bit. Her photo being a profile shot just doesn’t work, and she needs to learn to make the product look amazing, rather than to make the product look amazing on her. The models walk away and it’s time for the judges to deliberate.
The judges arrive at their decision, and the girls re-enter the room. Tyra tells the girls she only has eleven photos and that one girl will be sent home. The first name called is Brooke, who they feel has unconventional beauty. The next is Danielle, followed by Nnenna, Kari, and Furonda. Tyra tells Furonda that she’s very impressed with the positive change from the previous week’s photo. The next five are Gina, Mollie Sue, Leslie, Sara, and Joanie. Only Wendy and Jade remain.
Tyra says that the judges see Wendy as a model in person, and that she has a lot of potential, but that she is unable to put her potential into the photo. Jade, on the other hand, is full of excuses and doesn’t take responsibility for her own actions. The last name called is...Jade, who they feel can have a lot of potential if they’re allowed to see the real her, and Wendy gets sent packing.
And NEXT TIME on America’s Next Top Model…it’s time to walk the walk with Miss J. (a.k.a. they get runway training), Gina gets “needy” with Danielle (a.k.a. Gina asks Danielle if she can watch her take a shower), and the girls get an unwelcome “visitor” on the runway (a.k.a. posing with roaches).