Previously, on The Simple Life, the girls stopped down on the bayou, “caught” some boiled crawfish and tarted up their host family’s daughter for her first date. Let’s see what trouble those rascally gals get into this week, shall we?
We find Barbie (aka Paris) and Skipper (aka Nicole) headed down the highway in their pink truck. Skipper is attempting to work the CB radio and Barbie brightly suggests stopping by a truck stop to see if someone can show them how to work it. As my husband pointed out, there’s only two dials on the radio, so it shouldn’t be too hard, but we are talking about the Doubledumb Twins here, after all. The girls find a nice trucker to help them out and Barbie asks him what they should use as a handle. Oh, the endless possibilities…Dumb on the Run? Dense and Ditzy? Hotel HoBags? TruckerMan suggests they call themselves the Pink Panther since they have a pink truck. Barbie and Skipper’s responses: “That’s hot.”
THC (That’s Hot Count): 2
Barbie and Skipper have some fun with the CB, asking truckers to act like monkeys, pretending to be the cops and saying that they’re broke down with nothing but a g-string. Having participated in this kind of behavior myself, I can’t really comment on it, except to point out that I was only about 15 and they’re 23 and 22, respectively. Still, it’s pretty funny hearing the truckers’ responses.
The girls’ next host family is the Lutz-Carrillo family of Texas. However, because of the way the father acts and the number of animals in their household, I will refer to them as the Doolittle family from here on out. Dr. Doolittle and Mrs. Doolittle ask their kids if there are any chores they want to get out of, so they can have something for Barbie and Skipper to do. That’s awesome. Mrs. Doolittle starts to tell us a little bit about the family when suddenly my tv screen fades to black. What the – when did meteorologist Don Slater become part of The Simple Life? Seriously, we had some pretty heavy thunderstorms raging outside while the episode was on, so I missed about 5 minutes of it due to weather updates. My apologies and if anyone wants to fill in the blanks, please feel free to do so.
I return to find one Doolittle son showing off a rattlesnake skin to Barbie, who seems slightly horrified that they killed it. Now, if they’d made shoes out of it, she’d probably be more understanding. Cut to Barbie and Skipper having a pow-wow in the Doolittle’s HUGE bathroom. They both talk about how weird they think the family is. The family is a little hippie-ish, but no weirder than my family. (Oh, like your family isn’t weird!)
Dr. Doolittle tells the girls about their animals along with their dancing sheep. Skipper: “That’s hot.” Barbie and Skipper finally start hitting on the Doolittle sons, which seems a little late in this episode, considering they’re attractive guys and are right around the same ages as the girls. Mrs. Doolittle tells the girls how she gave birth to all her sons right there in the house.
The girls retreat to their sanctuary – the bathroom. They are relieved that they’re sleeping in their trailer, not in the house. At this point, we discover that Barbie totally parked the pink truck deep in the mud and the girls are stuck. The Doolittle guys generously help push the truck out, while Barbie spins the wheels and splatters mud all over them.
Back to the bathroom, where the girls wonder how long they’ll have to stay there. Suddenly, they realize that there is an opening in the wall between the bathroom and living room and that the family has probably heard everything they’ve said. A Doolittle son comes into the bathroom to get the girls to start their chores, but Barbie and Skipper have other plans. They talk the sons into sneaking out with them so they can have a good time. Skipper even brags about her sneaking out prowess – “I’ve snuck out past security guards, LAPD, security cameras.”
***Severe Weather Update. *sigh* I appreciate the updates, but honestly, I can look out my window and see that it's still storming. When the lightning and thunder stop, I’ll know that the storm has moved on.***
I rejoin Barbie, Skipper, Doolittle Son #1 and Doolittle Son #2 in what appears to be a salon hallway. Apparently, Skipper decided to give the boys some fake tans, but instead of applying the lotion evenly, she decided to use patterns. At least, I hope that’s tanning lotion. If it isn’t, I think I’m pretty fortunate to have missed this scene.
The runaways return home in time for dinner, which is roasted pig. The family talks all about the pig that they raised, comparing it to a little puppy, which seems to have Tinkerbell running scared. Back in the camper, Barbie removes Tinkerbell’s shoes, which make this awesome popping sound as they come off.
The girls take the guys out with a promise to get them laid. Once at the bar, Skipper takes the guys around, introduces them to various girls and gives the guys advice on how to pick up chicks. Suddenly, Barbie comes up with a dorky looking guy who seems into the Doolittle boys. The Doolittles suggest just sticking with girls and send the boy on his way. Awww, poor guy. He just wanted some loving, too.
In the morning, Barbie and Skipper wake to find a chicken chilling in their bed. Never ones to miss an opportunity, they decide to dress the chicken up. The first thing they dress her in? Feathers. Seems cruel somehow.
Dr. Doolittle gets the girls to feed his chickens. For once, the girls do their chores with minimal complaining, instead talking about how cute the baby chicks are. Dr. Doolittle starts talking to his pet peacock, trying to get him to respond. He continues talking to the peacock during lunch, telling the girls he has a way with animals.
After lunch, Dr. Doolittle takes the girls to meet his dancing sheep. In order to get the sheep to dance, Dr. Doolittle must jump around like he’s having a seizure. For once, the girls’ outfits aren’t the stupidest looking things on this show. Eventually the sheep follows suit. Wow. Look at the sheep. Go, sheep, go. I really wish they’d cut in with a weather update right now!
After saying goodbye to the family, the girls prepare to leave. Skipper changes her clothes, forcing Barbie to say “Great, now I’m going to have to change, otherwise we’ll clash.” And you thought these girls had no substance.
As they drive away, Barbie realizes the extension cord that provides their power is still attached to the camper. They try to unplug it, but can’t get it, so they just wind up the excess and throw it in the back of the truck. You can’t say they don’t think on their feet.
1509 miles to go.
Final THC: 10
Slice'n'Dice circa 2004
"Men! As boy crazy as I've been my whole life, I sure can't stand 'em." - Vickie Hiller, Down With Love