"I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ" - Reality TV World Message Board Forums - "I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

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"I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Conferences Starting Over Individual Houseguest Discussion Forum (Protected)
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The Real TJ 5 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"	07-22-06, 02:10 PM (EST)
"I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"
I received an email from a viewer named Dawn, it took me so long to write my response to her and after reading the message boards I thought I would share it with everyone. I asked her not to exploit this correspondence and here I am being a big hypocrite. I hope Dawn understands! Thank you for expressing interest in wanting to know, where in the hell is TJ! Kim was just in town visiting, Little Lisa and Jennifer from season 2 came over and we had a fun reunion. We laughed about our experience and expressed joy over the fact that we have one another to lean on. We have an experience some what like war that will bond all of us for a life time. I am in Denver, with Rick and my pups running my business trying to heal and grow from my experience. I know it seems I dropped off of the face of the earth but I never went on SO to become famous. Plus, I don't have anything to sell and I am not technologically advanced enough for Mysapce. I truly wanted to learn to live the life my soul intended to be able to thrive in my own little world. I think the reason so many viewers connected with me is due to the fact that I was 110% invested in starting over! I accepted the spot in the house with great pride and thought of each and everyone of you when I was faced with an exeperience or excercise I was not excited about. I would remember when I was sitting home watching the episodes with my pen and paper and thought I am so honored to be here I have to put all of me forward to provide an experience that respects the ones who auditioned and did not make it. I really felt a sense of duty. Notoriety is a fascinating thing; it does feel good and I am honored that people want to know me but it also can become addictive and unhealthy. The outside validation is amazing and when perfect strangers come to me and tell me they love me I am blown away. But, one day I will be a thing of the past and I will have to pick up the pieces, I would rather do it soon than later. I have contemplated designing a website to share experiences of growth and resources that have helped me on my life's journey but I don't have the time to manage it. I would be obsessed with updating it and I have to be authentic so I would have to answer every email. With my disabilities an email this size takes about an hour for me to write. It is not always easy for me to put my thoughts together when I want to be vulnerable and as you know I don't do short and sweet... I wish they would have spent more time on my disabilities and not accuse me of using it as a crutch. Having ADHD and learning disabilities is so difficult in a cookie cutter world. I want people to know, I am just wired differently. It is the difference between a Mac and a PC. Different operating systems but the end result is the same. I am always looking for ways I can become more proficient in being an expert in TJ! The problem with the world (myself included) is "we all think, you should think the way I think!" ADHD allows me the ability to process, multitask and think in lightening speed creating the efficiency needed to be a successful business owner. I have a problem solved before others even realize there is one. That gets me in trouble in my personal life because I have a hard time operating in a vulnerable space where I am not most efficient. I crave and thrive on efficiency! I admit it, I am a machine. I constantly think to myself why can't others speed up, think faster and multitask? I become frustrated when others are operating and thinking differently. Ultimately, I wanted to be a champion for all of those who feel like damaged goods just because they don't fit the mold, and learn to stop judging others for not fitting in my mold. If we acknowledge and embrace everyone's differences we would all live a bit more harmoniously. If you have specific questions about my experience or disabilities I am happy to respond, I tried to post a thread on the message boards but my inexperience at the time got the best of me. It was only a reply so everyone did not see it (post is titled yearbook nominations). I posted one other time but I cannot remember the title. I am truly grateful for all of the support and kindness that views expressed. I am most proud of the fact that overall at first viewers did not like me but I became a favorite in the end. Not because I want to be most popular but most important it solidified to me that truth and authenticity will always win in the end. I don't know any other way to be, thank God for my disabilities. I am really busy so please understand if I don't get back to you right away and I would just ask that you respect my privacy and not share my personal email address or exploit the details of this correspondence? Thank you in advance for your understanding and being interested in my life. You guys are the bomb and I can't thank you enough for your feedback, good and bad. Please get over the typo's and incomplete sentences, I can't help it! I tried to post a picture of the reunion but this is not where I shine so if someone wants to send me step by step instructions I would love to share a pic. Rick sends his love as well...For those wondering about why he was on crutches. He tore his knee while on a fishing trip about a month prior. He was in so much pain we did not think he was going to make it on the show. I have never met someone with the ability to suck it up and take one for the team like Rick. He was in so much pain when he arrived and would not take his pain pills because he wanted to be at his best. He too has learning disabilities and ADD. We are at opposite end of the spectrum with our strengths and weaknesses, we support one another well. He has trouble organizing his thoughts when he is nervous and the pain pills make him unable to organize at all. I wish you would have gotten more of an opportunity to get to know him. He truly is an amazing human being and man with the gift of compassion and empathy like no other. Remember the episode where I called him to invite him to the show and he was less than excited to respond? He was concerned about flying in so much pain and he put on some weight being laid up with his knee and he did not want me to see him 20 lbs heavier, he felt fat! How cute is that? Keep it real sista's, TJ
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Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... DedeV 07-22-06 1

   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... carriem 07-22-06 2

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... JessicaRN 07-22-06 3

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... slickeronstate 07-22-06 4

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... willowsherman 07-22-06 5

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... buttercup2 07-22-06 6

   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... sm2 07-22-06 7

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... andreajesus10 07-22-06 8

   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... staceeturner 07-23-06 9

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... eire_heart74 07-23-06 10

   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... SunTeaz 07-24-06 11

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... kawyar 07-24-06 12

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... slickeronstate 07-24-06 13

   WARNING - slickeronstate Bebo 07-24-06 14

       RE: WARNING - slickeronstate toyota73 07-24-06 15

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... momof4inVA 07-25-06 16

   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... dopeydwarf 07-25-06 17

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... Anne18 07-25-06 18

   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... txdarkfairy 07-26-06 19

       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... momof4inVA 08-09-06 50

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... buttercup2 07-27-06 20

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... WeShallSee 07-27-06 21

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... alliamamabear 07-28-06 22

   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... magnoliaz 08-04-06 30

       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... sharnina 08-04-06 31

           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... magnoliaz 08-05-06 36

           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... momof4inVA 08-07-06 42

       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... sharnina 08-04-06 32

           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... magnoliaz 08-05-06 37

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... GoddessOfWisdom 07-28-06 23

   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... bootsie 07-28-06 24

       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... WeShallSee 07-29-06 25

           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... DedeV 07-31-06 27

       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... techstyle 07-29-06 26

           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... sm2 07-31-06 28

               RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... eire_heart74 08-01-06 29

                   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... Tonya_Harding 08-04-06 33

                       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... mysticwolf 08-05-06 34

                           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... magnoliaz 08-05-06 35

                       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... The Real TJ 08-06-06 38

                           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... toyota73 08-06-06 39

                           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... slickeronstate 08-06-06 41

                               WARNING - slickeronstate Bebo 08-07-06 43

                                   RE: WARNING - slickeronstate wallyhoohoo 08-27-06 79

                               RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... Dallas80 08-18-06 71

                                   WARNING - Dallas80 Bebo 08-18-06 72

                           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... buttercup2 08-08-06 46

                           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... wallyhoohoo 08-18-06 70

                               WARNING - wallyhoohoo Bebo 08-18-06 73

                                   RE: WARNING - wallyhoohoo wallyhoohoo 08-27-06 78

                                       wallyhoohoo - Yes, Another Warning mysticwolf 08-27-06 82

                           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... wallyhoohoo 08-27-06 76

                               WARNING: wallyhoo mysticwolf 08-27-06 83

                           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... wallyhoohoo 08-30-06 84

                       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... ltlfighter 08-06-06 40

                           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... staceeturner 08-07-06 44

                               RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... slickeronstate 08-07-06 45

                                   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... TiersOfJoy 08-08-06 47

                                       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... techstyle 08-08-06 48

                                           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... The Real Kim Season3 08-09-06 49

                                               RE: TJ and Kim were the least annoy... carriem 08-09-06 53

                                                   RE: TJ and Kim were the least annoy... The Real Kim Season3 08-09-06 55

                                                       RE: TJ and Kim were the least annoy... wallyhoohoo 08-27-06 80

                                               RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... momof4inVA 08-10-06 56

                                               RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... Cuntessa 08-12-06 68

                                           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... Cuntessa 08-09-06 51

                                               RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... slickeronstate 08-09-06 52

                                                   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... The Real TJ 08-10-06 57

                                                       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... momof4inVA 08-10-06 58

                                                       You have to hand it to TJ and Kim. carriem 08-10-06 60

                                                       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... berwyn 08-10-06 61

                                                       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... RJ Lewis 08-10-06 62

                                                           You may want to edit mysticwolf 08-11-06 65

                                                   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... wallyhoohoo 08-27-06 81

                                               RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... kawyar 08-09-06 54

                                                   RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... Cuntessa 08-10-06 59

                                                       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... creepyoldwoman 08-10-06 63

                                                           Kim and TJ 2boysmom 08-11-06 64

                                                           RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... momof4inVA 08-11-06 66

                                                       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... teddi408 08-25-06 75

                                       RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... wallyhoohoo 08-27-06 77

Back on the Show, Please mysticwolf 08-11-06 67

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... snoopyangel2808 08-16-06 69

   snoopyangel2808 mysticwolf 08-18-06 74

RE: I am alive and well, thank you ... Madigan 08-30-06 85

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Messages in this topic

DedeV 155 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
07-22-06, 02:34 PM (EST)

1. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Thanks, it was a great read!
Live, Laugh and Learn !!!!

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carriem 91 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
07-22-06, 03:33 PM (EST)

2. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

TJ you are an incredible person!I have never seen anybody stand up to so much public critiscism and still be so gracious and open.Good to hear you are doing so well!Hugs!

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JessicaRN 1070 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
07-22-06, 03:33 PM (EST)

3. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Your goal of connecting with others was achieved and after reading your letter, it seems as if you have embraced your abilities. Your letter is well organized, well written and seems to come from a very good place. Congratulations from another "Denver Girl" and hope you get all of the peace, love and happiness that you deserve!!

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slickeronstate 203 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
07-22-06, 03:34 PM (EST)

4. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

LAST EDITED ON 07-22-06 AT 03:38 PM (EST)
That was a moving response. I want to crawl into a cave for some of the things I have said about the "crutch" of using a learning disability.
I have learned so much from other chatters and I applaud TJ's ability to educate others (ignorant like myself) on this issue.
Previously I thought it was an excuse to take meds for some phantom ailment - little did I know.......
Thank you for sharing that post. Very much!

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willowsherman 5 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
07-22-06, 03:47 PM (EST)

5. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Wow! TJ, you are the embodiment of what Starting Over is all about, and redeem everything that is less than perfect about the show.
I am a 3rd grade teacher, and I was so upset with how they were minimizing the effect of your ADD on your life that I emailed the producers to put in my two cents. I was daily amazed by your courage and determination. You put it up with a lot of crap in that house, but it sounds like overall it was worth it. Thank you for allowing us viewers to share in your journey.

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buttercup2 18 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
07-22-06, 05:45 PM (EST)

6. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

LAST EDITED ON 07-22-06 AT 05:47 PM (EST)
TJ, TJ! thanks for finding us and posting.
I was freaking out at some of the treatment you rec'd from the LCs. It was just a taste of what I have experienced in school, at work, and from some of my family members who don't get it.
I, too, am a poster child for ADHD (Adderal and Provigil have been my friends). I knew exactly what you were going through when you said you were about to run out. In general, when I have a job, I have a knack for pissing people off. It's like I could safely manage to land an airplane full of people if the pilot had a heart attack (a *smooth* landing, no less), but must own a car that has to be locked with a key because I will manage to lock myself out of it at least 6 times a year.
I can come up with genious organization systems...and then I cannot follow them. You should see the pile of TO DO lists that sit in a box. Ho hum. But guess who people call when they need a problem solved? I just have an eclectic collections of experience and knowledge that allows me to seemingly pull rabbits out of hats in the oddest situations.
Don't know if you have read any of my posts, but I suggested that we print and send a couple of the TJ threads to you--so I did. I mailed them to B-M Productions a couple of days ago with an extra envelope, postage, and a letter. I don't know if you'll ever get them, but I tried.
Are pups part of your business? It's my business (or trying to be)--email me privately if you want to see more.
buttercup2 (and a chubby little service/therapy dog)

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sm2 130 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
07-22-06, 07:24 PM (EST)

7. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Thank you TJ, for responding to us in a very beautiful way.

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andreajesus10 16 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
07-22-06, 08:12 PM (EST)

8. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Hey, TJ, all I can say is: YOU ROCK! Bravo to you for gettin it together and showing us REAL and all that!!
Peace!
andrea

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staceeturner 183 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
07-23-06, 12:40 PM (EST)

9. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

T.J thank you for sharing out of most of the house guests you are the one who just struck me as wanting to be there for the reasons that you was and that is what you stated in your post. thank's again for posting and letting us know what is going on in your life. and you not being on myspace is not a bad thing LOL.
Sig by Sharnina

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eire_heart74 1231 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
07-23-06, 10:29 PM (EST)

10. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

I never enjoyed watching a person change on this series as much as you TJ! And I have watched all three! You were the only one there that showed what that show could do for a person.
Good luck to you and your man and your business!

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SunTeaz 39 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
07-24-06, 06:57 AM (EST)

11. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

TJ, thank you for taking the time to write such a heartfelt letter to us. Some of the greatest leasons in life are learned though others and that is why I love Starting Over and many of the lives shared on the show. I became enriched by your progress and your ability to strive to overcome and to accept that none of us are perfect, far from it! We do the best we can with a lil help from our friends and faith in ourselves.
Keep in touch and God Bless.
Sincerely, SunTeaz
Cheyenne, WY

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kawyar 58 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
07-24-06, 09:43 AM (EST)

12. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

LAST EDITED ON 07-24-06 AT 09:45 AM (EST)
TJ, thank you for surfacing long enough to let us know that you're doing alright. You're one of the special ones if only for the fact that you don't think that you're one of the special ones. You are almost unanimously championed on this board.
I saw you as a square peg trying to fit into this round hole that society prescribes for us. I saw how much it hurt inside not to be accepted by others. I can relate to those things. I don't have ADHD but I do have a lightning fast mind too, and many times I am misunderstood because others don't follow the same processes as I do.
As viewers, we got to see your situation from the outside and drew our own conclusions, which were quite different from the ones that SO tried to promote about you. As you say, given enough time and space, truth will ultimately reveal itself. At least, that's what I inferred from your post.
It was lovely to read it, and lovely to hear from you. I run a small business too, only it's in the retail field. I love it! Nothing else would suit my talents more. You go, girl!!
P.S. I'm a dog lover too!
Edited to correct grammar syntax.

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slickeronstate 203 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
07-24-06, 12:26 PM (EST)

13. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

A friendly suggestion. If you initially type your message as a Word document and then use spell check it should cut out a lot of time.

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Bebo 20880 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
07-24-06, 03:16 PM (EST)

14. "WARNING - slickeronstate "

The grammar police are not welcome here on this site. There have been way too many cases in our history where people have used these sort of lessons to bash other posters, and so we've just asked posters to cut it out. Besides, it gets posters off-topic. Stick to discussing the show.

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toyota73 28 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
07-24-06, 09:43 PM (EST)

15. "RE: WARNING - slickeronstate "

Congratulations TJ on making it thru the show as wonderfully as you did! When I first started to watch the show, before I discovered this board...I thought to myself...My God, get off that poor woman's back! I truly thought the only woman in that house with any authenticity was you. Thanks for keeping it real and fun to watch! I learned alot watching you work through your assignments and dealing with the criticism...you handled it all with dignity. You looked great too when you came back after graduation for the others' graduations! And your speeches were very tasteful and well said. Congrats again!

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momof4inVA 120 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
07-25-06, 00:45 AM (EST)

16. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

TJ,
I have a daughter with ADD. She is 11 years old. I truely understand the difficulties you went through. I thank god that I found help for her early. She with help has found alot of friends with the same or similer difficulties.
I also made the comment that you might have Asperger's Syndrom. My oldest daughter (who is 14) has it and to put it in general terms it's a social communnication disorder.There is a very famous person called Temple Grandlin that has it and I really think you should google her name. I attended one of her lectures and really found it inspiring. I really am only saying that as a parent with a child that has some difficulties I really do get you and what you were saying.
I thought the coaches were not really very understanding with you. I was so sure that they were into helping people before you came on then I was really disappointed.
God Bless You,
Momof4inva

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dopeydwarf 185 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
07-25-06, 01:54 AM (EST)

17. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

TJ, I just want you to know that I just love you!!!!!!
____________________________________________________________________________
I'd rather be at Disneyworld

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Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
07-25-06, 05:18 AM (EST)

18. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Hi TJ!!
I am so happy that you posted! You are my most favorite houseguest ever. There were times I kept thinking to myself how unfair they treated you in the house. However, always know that you have your fans who love you and we support you!!
TJ, I played you in the roleplay. You see the picture below? In doing the roleplay I was playing how you would respond to other houseguests. You are 100% real!
Hugs and take care,
Anne18

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txdarkfairy 1 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
07-26-06, 12:35 PM (EST)

19. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Thank you so much TJ for responding! I am a teacher and had never seen the show until this summer. I am not normally a reality show watcher, but something kept me watching. You were my favorite because you were "real". I really felt you were on the show to better yourself. I laugh at myself as I am watching because I get so annoyed with people and so huffy about things that are said. You handled yourself very graciously, and I applaud you. I have studied ADD/ADHD, and people tend to blow it off as something that is overdiagnosed and look down on the need for medicine. I have seen the results of proper medication as well as teaching a child coping skills. Thank you for being a positive rolemodel as an adult with ADHD and learning disabilities. I only wish I could multitask like you can!!!
Good luck to you and Rick and have a very blessed life!

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momof4inVA 120 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
08-09-06, 02:14 AM (EST)

50. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

I have a daughter with ADD. God Bless you and the other teachers that enjoy kids with this difficulty. I know as a parent what your challenges are, and I truely do respect the differences.

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buttercup2 18 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
07-27-06, 03:34 PM (EST)

20. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

LAST EDITED ON 07-27-06 AT 03:36 PM (EST)
I am so effing mad at today's show...your board of review. TJ you are JUST FINE. Seriously. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Rhonda and Iyanla are completely off the mark and finally I think Rhonda is a stupid b*tch who is trying to be more important than she is. Iyanla is condescending. Ridiculous.
I am so pissed off at this episode that I don't even know if I can finish watching the rest of the season.
RRRRRaaaaarRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to edit this: I'm glad this show is off the air. I think it is more destructive than helpful with stupid ##### people like the LCs. It's pretty abusive.

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WeShallSee 42 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
07-27-06, 08:57 PM (EST)

21. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

I am Dawn and it's ok TJ. I'm glad you decided to check in and judging from the warm response you got it was a good bet.
Take care.
Dawn

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alliamamabear 3 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
07-28-06, 08:22 AM (EST)

22. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Wow, as I watched the show I kept switching from favourites. TJ you are an amazing person and I would love to have your e-mail address and talk to you more. If you, yourself, or someone else could please sent it to me, It would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
~allia~

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magnoliaz 11 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
08-04-06, 02:44 AM (EST)

30. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

I was hoping someone else would have posted or responded to this posting but since this posting over 5 days old I decided to swallow my anxiety and post. In the original posting by TJ she stated and I quote "just ask that you respect my privacy and not share my personal email address or exploit the details of this correspondence? Thank you in advance for your understanding and being interested in my life" I hope everyone honors TJ's wishes and not share it and allow TJ to give the gift of her private email if she so wishes. It took me awhile to figure out this but I have learned how to send a email directly to the person posting the thread by using the help button which explains what the inbox is and how at the top of this discussion you can hit the envelope and it will send a private email to that person but it will not share email addresses unless you choose to do so. I hope that helps.
Also I am author of the gross misspellings of the topic about TJ business in Denver. There was so much more as audience we could have learned about ADHD and learning disabilities from the show but I do believe it planted a seed in allot of us viewers to reach out to others and to feed our curiosity for more info about the different disabilities and disadvantages TJ deals with in real life.
This is truly amazing lady who I believe was on the show because she was filling one of her purposes in life that a higher power set out for her, she may have went on the show to help herself which she did a great job staying true to her intentions for being on the show but she accomplished so much more by touching so many peoples lives. She has not only peak the interest of many with her disabilities but she enhanced our awareness of how we judge others who walk with silent disabilities or quick to judgment or criticism of others who are wired differently then we are. For me she has shown me to honor my uniqueness, walk through life with integrity and beware of how our honesty has to come from a place of love and it will show through appropriately and as long as our hearts and heads are doing things for unselfish reasons we will always be respected in the long run.
PS- I have learning disabilities - I will say now I did check for grammar and spelling to the best of my ability before I posted. If I made mistakes I can understand it makes it hard to read for others and if I did that I am sorry. I spoke from my heart and hope that it comes across. I also have no problem with others correcting me as I do learn from others who point out things that I cannot see and if you are doing it from a helpful point feel free to send me an email through inbox. Just remember just because I am wired differently doesn’t mean I any less intelligent then others.

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
08-04-06, 03:50 AM (EST)

31. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

I read your post and then re-read. You, my dear, have nothing to apolize for. You made your statements clearly and concisely - and with so much respect.
I emailed TJ - and she emailed me back. You should email her and tell her the things you shared with us. I know she will blessed by your words and your heart. I know I was. Thank you.

A Tribe Original
God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.

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magnoliaz 11 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
08-05-06, 04:18 AM (EST)

36. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Thanks for the suggestions and the kind words.

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momof4inVA 120 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
08-07-06, 03:27 AM (EST)

42. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

ditto. I am bumping this up!

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
08-04-06, 02:20 PM (EST)

32. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

It took me awhile to figure out this but I have learned how to send a email directly to the person posting the thread by using the help button which explains what the inbox is and how at the top of this discussion you can hit the envelope and it will send a private email to that person but it will not share email addresses unless you choose to do so. I hope that helps.
BTW - You have a couple of secure options for communicating with other posters on this website. The one mentioned by magnoliaz (love that name) is email - accessed by clicking on the 1st envelope icon in the top right hand corner of a post.
The other is private message or PM. This is the 2nd envelope icon up in the corner. You can read responses in your inbox. You find your inbox by clicking on Conferences which will take to the main page. If you have messages, you will see a red flag affectionately referred to as the little red flag wavy thingy. Click on this and you can see messages that have been sent to you.

A Tribe Original
God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.

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magnoliaz 11 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
08-05-06, 04:19 AM (EST)

37. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Thanks for sharing.. I love when I learn from others on things I did not know or understand when I read.

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GoddessOfWisdom 13 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
07-28-06, 11:13 AM (EST)

23. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

LAST EDITED ON 07-28-06 AT 11:14 AM (EST)
>.
>
>Notoriety is a fascinating thing; it
>does feel good and I
>am honored that people want
>to know me but it
>also can become addictive and
>unhealthy. The outside validation
>is amazing and when perfect
>strangers come to me and
>tell me they love me
>I am blown away.
>But, one day I will
>be a thing of the
>past and I will have
>to pick up the pieces,
>I would rather do it
>soon than later. I
>have contemplated designing a website
>to share experiences of growth
>and resources that have helped
>me on my life's journey
>but I don't have the
>time to manage it.
>I would be obsessed with
>updating it and I have
>to be authentic so I
>would have to answer every
>email. With my disabilities an
>email this size takes about
>an hour for me to
>write. It is not
>always easy for me to
>put my thoughts together when
>I want to be vulnerable
>and as you know I
>don't do short and sweet...
>
>
>I wish they would have spent
>more time on my disabilities
>and not accuse me of
>using it as a crutch.
> Having ADHD and learning
>disabilities is so difficult in
>a cookie cutter world.
>I want people to know,
>I am just wired differently.
> It is the difference
>between a Mac and a
>PC. Different operating systems
>but the end result is
>the same. I am
>always looking for ways I
>can become more proficient in
>being an expert in TJ!
> The problem with the
>world (myself included) is "we
>all think, you should think
>the way I think!"
> ADHD allows me the
>ability to process, multitask and
>think in lightening speed creating
>the efficiency needed to be
>a successful business owner.
>I have a problem solved
>before others even realize there
>is one. That gets
>me in trouble in my
>personal life because I have
>a hard time operating in
>a vulnerable space where I
>am not most efficient.
>I crave and thrive on
>efficiency! I admit it,
>I am a machine.
>I constantly think to myself
>why can't others speed up,
>think faster and multitask?
>I become frustrated when others
>are operating and thinking differently.
> Ultimately, I wanted to
>be a champion for all
>of those who feel like
>damaged goods just because they
>don't fit the mold, and
>learn to stop judging others
>for not fitting in my
>mold. If we acknowledge
>and embrace everyone's differences we
>would all live a bit
>more harmoniously.
>
>If you have specific questions about
>my experience or disabilities I
>am happy to respond, I
>tried to post a thread
>on the message boards but
>my inexperience at the time
>got the best of me.
> It was only a
>reply so everyone did not
>see it (post is titled
>yearbook nominations). I posted
>one other time but I
>cannot remember the title.
>I am truly grateful for
>all of the support and
>kindness that views expressed.
>I am most proud of
>the fact that overall at
>first viewers did not like
>me but I became a
>favorite in the end.
>Not because I want to
>be most popular but most
>important it solidified to me
>that truth and authenticity will
>always win in the end.
> I don't know any
>other way to be, thank
>God for my disabilities.
>
>I am really busy so please
>understand if I don't get
>back to you right away
>and I would just ask
>that you respect my privacy
>and not share my personal
>email address or exploit the
>details of this correspondence?
> Thank you in advance
>for your understanding and being
>interested in my life.
>
>You guys are the bomb and
>I can't thank you enough
>for your feedback, good and
>bad. Please get over
>the typo's and incomplete sentences,
>I can't help it! I
>tried to post a picture
>of the reunion but this
>is not where I shine
>so if someone wants to
>send me step by step
>instructions I would love to
>share a pic.
>

Thanks TJ for sharing with us. Fascinating light you've shed on your ADHD. Would love to hear more about you and hope we can have some questions answered about your disability so others can gain a better understanding of it. Best wishes to you and Rick.

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bootsie 17 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
07-28-06, 10:08 PM (EST)

24. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

I hope this dosen't make anyone upset, but how do we know that the person who started this thread is The Real T.J.?
Just wondering

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WeShallSee 42 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
07-29-06, 10:17 AM (EST)

25. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

>I hope this dosen't make anyone
>upset, but how do we
>know that the person who
>started this thread is The
>Real T.J.?
>Just wondering

If you had really read the original post you would be able to discern whether this person is the real TJ or not. Someone pretending to be TJ or any of the other ladies would probably appear trollish and to be making stuff up and not be very supportive at all.
Not that you'll believe me either, but I am Dawn, that is TJ and that is the email that she sent me.
Sometimes you just have to believe in things you have no way to prove.

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DedeV 155 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
07-31-06, 11:58 AM (EST)

27. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

I completely agree. When I replied no one else had yet, but I did think "what if..." My answer to myself was "who cares? If it is the real TJ I want her to know how much I enjoyed her and what she wrote, and if it is an imposter...who cares?" I really do believe it is TJ, having said that.

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techstyle 124 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
07-29-06, 09:11 PM (EST)

26. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

>I hope this dosen't make anyone
>upset, but how do we
>know that the person who
>started this thread is The
>Real T.J.?
>Just wondering
I'd say that was totally TJ. ( and you do go girl, TJ!) I intend to contact TJ someday when I can compose a letter. For now I'd like to say I can not believe I missed the episode twice where Rick came to the SO house!!! The letter was perfect IMHO and I am thankful for her time on the show. Also, it would have been helpful for many to learn about ADD and ADHD. They let this issue slip by. I, for one, was interested

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sm2 130 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
07-31-06, 08:27 PM (EST)

28. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

I don't think that the episode where Rick comes has aired the second time yet. SO, you may be in luck.

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eire_heart74 1231 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
08-01-06, 07:15 AM (EST)

29. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

I agree this has to be the real TJ. Any troll on here usually does nothing but slam the person on the show. Or it's some "friend" that does that just stiring the pot. This post is pure TJ and if you watch the show you can see it is.
Again good luck to TJ! I enjoyed watching you this season!

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Tonya_Harding 92 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
08-04-06, 03:43 PM (EST)

33. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

TJ, you have got to be the most annoying, bitchy, self-centered person on Television. I really feel sorry for the other ladies that where in the house with you.

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mysticwolf 10692 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
08-05-06, 01:31 AM (EST)

34. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Note to anyone new to the board who may have been offended by this slam at TJ... Please read our guidelines.
Slams at the show and show participants are absolutely allowed. It's slams against other posters that are out of bounds here.

Pack Alpha Status Accorded by Tribe blogging's scary

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magnoliaz 11 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
08-05-06, 04:04 AM (EST)

35. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

I think that TJ is a great lady and I honesty believe that she is only understood to the depth of which others opens their mind to see or seek to understand. When we cloud our heads with judgments and only our own perspective we decrease our own self directed growth. This posting is to enhance what TJ has planted …the seed about disabilities, and to increase awareness among others about people with disabilities and how it affects them mental, physically and socially. There is a great site called Top 5 Emotional Difficulties of People with Learning Disabilities--http://www.ldpride.net/emotions.htm
It can increase anyones knowledge about learning disabilities and increase intelligence empathy, perspectives and understanding. For example under
Fear this a wonderful paragraph about -- However, most people with learning disabilities have more than one area of difficulty. Dr. Larry Silver asserts "learning disabilities are life disabilities". He writes, “The same disabilities that interfere with reading, writing, and arithmetic also will interfere with sports and other activities, family life, and getting along with friends." (Silver, 1998)
Typically, students with LD have other major difficulties in one or more of the following areas:
motor coordination
time management
attention
organizational skills
processing speed
Social skills needed to make friends and maintaining relationships
emotional maturation
verbal expression
memory
Another emotional difficulty for adults with learning disabilities is fear. This emotion is often masked by anger or anxiety. Many adults with learning disabilities live with fear of being found out. They develop coping strategies to hide their disability. Adults with social skill difficulties may live in constant fear of revealing social inadequacies. For example, an adult who has trouble understanding humor may pretend to laugh at a joke even through they don’t understand it. They may also hide their social difficulties by appearing to be shy and withdrawn. On the other hand, hyperactive adults may cover up their attention difficulties by using a gregarious personality to entertain people.
Adults with learning disabilities frequently fear the ridicule of others. Sadly, these fears often develop after the individual has been routinely ridiculed. References on the site are listed for validity.
Disclaimer: I have learning disabilities and I do check my grammar and spelling to the best of my ability. If I have made mistakes and it makes it hard to read understand that was not my intention.

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The Real TJ 5 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
08-06-06, 04:07 PM (EST)

38. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

>TJ, you have got to be
>the most annoying, bitchy, self-centered
>person on Television. I really
>feel sorry for the other
>ladies that where in the
>house with you.
Tonya-
Yes, you are correct; I can be self-centered, bitchy and annoying. These are only some of the attribute of my diverse personality. I believe many women encapsulate these qualities although, I prefer to look at them as assertive, gregarious, out-spoken, and opinionated.
I admire your strength and willingness to be bold and state your opinion. I know I rub many people the wrong way for that very reason. Today I am OK with your opinion and tomorrow I may cry but at the core maybe you and I are very much a like. I too am judgmental at times and have been guilty of projecting my negative self worth on to others. I hope we can both find a way to grow beyond our judgments and receive the unconditional love we crave and deserve. I believe the only way woman are going to become individually empowered is if we stop tearing one another down and learn to support our strengths and weaknesses. It would be amazing if we can agree to disagree and see that our negativity is only hurting ourselves.
I hope I am not coming across in a condescending manor? Sincerely, it is not my intention but from what I have been told it can be yet another one of my many admirable qualities.
I am eternally grateful to those who have embraced my positive qualities and have taken the time to express to me how you feel. Your kind words of encouragement and praise has been instrumental in my healing process and gives me the strength to love myself just a little bit more every day! From the bottom of my heart you will never know how truly touched I am.
Magnoliaz, thank you for being the light to help others understand our differences, you are an inspiration and I admire your acceptance of self and others.
Knowledge is power; we cannot accept what we don’t understand.
Keepin it real,
TJ

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toyota73 28 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
08-06-06, 07:14 PM (EST)

39. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Well said TJ!

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slickeronstate 203 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
08-06-06, 11:32 PM (EST)

41. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

OK TJ - you were on a reality tv show and said kewl after every statement - you didn't cure cancer.
How is one to verify this is even TJ writing?
It takes you 3 days to type 4 lines - maybe work on your writing skills - perhaps enlist Christina's assistance!
Oh ya, are you yet another who hasn't acquired a GED?
Were your problems tv-worthy for such a program - not really.
Now get on with your life and quit playing mini-Rhonda.

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Bebo 20880 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
08-07-06, 08:03 AM (EST)

43. "WARNING - slickeronstate "

Let me clarify mystic's earlier comments.
Yes, we permit bashing of reality show contestants on this forum, whether they post here or not. HOWEVER, if they do post on this forum, then their POSTS have the same protection that any other posters' do. Bashing them for what they post here is not permitted.
Bashing TJ for what you see on the show is OK, but bashing TJ for what she posts here is not.
And it's not your place to figure out whether someone is who they claim to be. If you think a poster is falsely representing herself, alert the moderators and let us handle it.
It can be tough to distinguish between a bashing a poster for on-air behavior vs. posting behavior, but this one was pretty clear. You bashed the poster, and that's never allowed.
If you can't make then distinction, then I suggest you do not reply to this poster. If you continue to cross the line, then your posting privileges can be terminated.

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wallyhoohoo 33 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
08-27-06, 09:20 PM (EST)

79. "RE: WARNING - slickeronstate "

i do appreciate the fact that you all have such rules, it is imperative when communicating with your members. otherwise, Lord only knows what might be said that is out of line.
may i make a suggestion? i know i dont come here often, as indicated by the warning i got a few weeks back..i just read it, not having been back since i posted it.
if you dont already do it, would it help your members and in turn help you if you posted once in a while for ppl to review the rules and standards? it might help the moderaters when the rules are shown regularly to remind us to review them? having to issue alot of warnings for those of us who havent abided by the rules, not out of being a maverick, but accidentally might remind us of the standards here. i bet it would save the moderators alot of time, not having to warn them for working outside the guidelines?
just a suggestion. again, i am not trying to send mixed msgs. however, had i thought to re-acquaint myself with the rules, i may not have responded to a post that others would consider offensive.
by the way, i am a computer idiot. is there a way to email any responses to one of my posts? i am not suggesting it but looking for a technical way i can have responses sent to my email addy so it doesnt take 11 days for me to hear about a transgression. i amm certainly not being difficult, just curious if there is a way to set up so responses to my posts can get to me without scrolling through the mass of posts.
i enjoy this opportunity to share concerns and opinions. i hope i wouldnt be banned for the post i sent a few moments ago, as i didnt realize what i said is considered bashing others. my response to it may have come across differently from what i meant.
thanks,
margaret
thanks for hearing me out,
margaret

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Dallas80 12 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
08-18-06, 01:39 PM (EST)

71. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

LAST EDITED ON 08-19-06 AT 00:53 AM (EST)
>OK TJ - you were on a reality tv show and said kewl after every statement- you didn't cure cancer.
>How is one to verify this is even TJ writing?
>It takes you 3 days to type 4 lines - maybe work on your writing skills- perhaps enlist Christina's assistance!
>Oh ya, are you yet another who hasn't acquired a GED?
>Were your problems tv-worthy for such a program - not really.
>Now get on with your life and quit playing mini-Rhonda.

Slickeronstate--
NEVER MIND.

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Bebo 20880 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
08-18-06, 04:14 PM (EST)

72. "WARNING - Dallas80 "

Our community guidelines clearly prohibit bashing other posters. If you wish to be allowed to continue posting here, you will read - and follow - our guidelines. There's a link at the top of the page.

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buttercup2 18 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
08-08-06, 01:12 PM (EST)

46. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

TJ, ADHDers will always keep things real and never boring.
Cheers (with Aderall).

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wallyhoohoo 33 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
08-18-06, 03:34 AM (EST)

70. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

tj, i think it is a sad state of affairs when a person feels the need to slam you, or anyone else, for their own self gratification. i apologize for the post you were sent. it took alot of balls for you to expose yourself on tv and have the courage to accept others ideas and suggestions with great grace and aplomb.
you were the one housemate i really related to. your personality when you joined was so similar to mine, speaking our minds without realizing how it would affect others. seeing you learn so much about yourself and the dynamics among the whole group was motivational to me. i have bipolar disorder and have had similar experiences.
thanks again for sharing your growth with us.
and screw anyone who has to feel better by attacking another. sad life, hunh?

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Bebo 20880 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
08-18-06, 04:15 PM (EST)

73. "WARNING - wallyhoohoo "

Our community guidelines allow posters to make positive and negative comments about the show and its participants, but bashing other posters (ex. your "screw anyone" and "sad life" comments) are not allowed here.

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wallyhoohoo 33 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
08-27-06, 09:06 PM (EST)

78. "RE: WARNING - wallyhoohoo "

first let me explain. i just posted another item like this before checking my updates on your site. i will probably be given a warning, but i wanted to explaiin that i hadnt realized my last and only other post was offensive. so pls excuse the other msg i just sent. it wasnt to be hostile or thumbing my nose at this post.
second, i dodnt think i was bashing any one person who posts. i merely expressed that i feel sorry for ppl who say negative things when it can be cruel. i didnt speak of anyone person. another thought...y post was no more vitriolic than others i have seen. if negative items are allowed, why was this considered outside the rules or bounds?
i am not being rude or ugly or even difficult. i am just curious because this seems to contradict the warning i received. my intent was never to "bash" anyone, but to express an opinion regarding others negative comments. people are entitled to their opinions. i agree. but how was this different, having an opinion.?
pls forgive me, i never intended to come across as "bashing" and pls excuse the post i made today prior to seeing this warning. it wasnt being rebellious, just not having read your warning.
thanks,
margaret

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mysticwolf 10692 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
08-27-06, 11:39 PM (EST)

82. "wallyhoohoo - Yes, Another Warning"

Let me try to break it down for you...
Negative comments (or positive comments) are allowed on this site - when they refer to the show and show participants. Negative comments about other posters are NOT allowed.
Comments that suggest that there is a problem with, or a need to feel sorry for, someone posting negative comments is, de facto, aimed at people who make negative comments. People that are posters on this board.
The fact that this board also goes by names like SurvivorBlows, TheAmericanRaceSucks, etc. should be a clue. Reading the guidelines should give you more than a clue.
Bash the show, and the show participants (who chose to expose their failings on national television for whatever exposure/kick it gave/gives them) all you like.
Leave other posters, individually or collectively, alone. Period. Just that simple.
And, when (if) you read our guidelines, you'll find that the proper way to ask or question a mod about their decision on something that's been posted is privately, via PM or E-Mail, not by cluttering the forum ahow thread with non-show related questions/objections/justifications/commentary.
Now, PLEASE, read the guidelines and either decide you can abide by them or move on. We don't like to revoke posting priviledges, but if you can't abide by webby's rules, we will.
He pays for this site so we can play together. Therefore, his rules rule.

Pack Alpha Status Accorded by Tribe blogging's scary

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wallyhoohoo 33 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
08-27-06, 08:44 PM (EST)

76. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

why on earth would somebody take pleasure in writing something so hateful?
we may not agree with tj"s beliefs , behavior, but at least SHE sought help. maybe if those who send these ugly msgs may need to admit their flaws like tj did, and worked hard to change, all the while being up front and willing to get support.
i related mostly to tj on the show. our personalities are similar. strong and being honest with ppl is rare. maybe not good all the time, but it beats the hell out of gossiping about a person and not looking within to realize we arent perfect too.
i respect her honesty and willingness to change.
margaret

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mysticwolf 10692 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
08-27-06, 11:49 PM (EST)

83. "WARNING: wallyhoo"

You were expecting it. You were right. You got it.
Now, go read my answer to your apology and question. This one you get as a freebee.
But, know that on this site, as with many others, not bothering to read the guidelines and blaming your mistakes on being a n00bie isn't really a defense.
Chalk it up to my being in a good mood and currently in "good cop" mode. Don't count on it lasting.
Then, please read the freaking guidelines. There won't be another free pass.

Pack Alpha Status Accorded by Tribe blogging's scary
And, be glad you started posting now. If you'd started in the early frenzy of new SO posters that wouldn't read guidelines before posting we wouldn't be having this discussion.

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wallyhoohoo 33 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
08-30-06, 03:57 AM (EST)

84. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

hey, tj. it is a clear indication as to how much you learned about yourself in the course of this show.
the tj i saw initially would have barked back at her dog should the dog give you a hard time. now i think, using the same analogy, when the dog barks, you probably will get on the floor with him to calm him down!
the changes in your disposition were so extreme. the posts you have done here alone show that whatever is dished out to you, you realize that your behavior is what is being discussed, NOT tJ.
if i had any doubts about the sincerity and validity of these posts from you, they were squelched when i saw the msgs you wrote in responses.
i am so glad you had the opportunity to make those changes.
by the way, as far as having to live with five relatively strangers, can you give us a hint as to how you were chosen?
or any other tidbits regarding the women, like how you decided dinner menus, to whomever spent hours getting ready. i dont want you to break any guidlines you were given, but i think it might be interesting to know/see what went on behind the scenes.
best,
margaret

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ltlfighter 173 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
08-06-06, 07:30 PM (EST)

40. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

And Allison & Lisa are not?????? I'm sorry, but TJ was one of the very few that crossed the S.O. 3 threshold who kept it REALLLL! She had no ulterior motive, what you see is what you get. Yes, TJ had a hard time expressing herself and so she would have to use 3 times as many words as others but she was honest to the end. I admire TJ greatly for having the courage to go on the show to seek help but in the end we benefited far more than she did. I, as well as a lot of other posters saw that the L.C.'s did a great disservice to her. TJ, I am very proud to have been able to see your transformation despite all the road blocks you faced. Thank You for educating us...

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staceeturner 183 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
08-07-06, 12:35 PM (EST)

44. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Don't know if this would be considered as bashing another poster? but I have a question for slickeronstate, how in one post at the very begining start out, as pleasant, apologetic,sincere& understanding to, your latest post on the subject so which one was real the first one or the last one? just wondering you seem to have two seperate messages going on?..

Sig by Sharnina

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slickeronstate 203 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
08-07-06, 04:29 PM (EST)

45. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Both. But given I don't wish to be banned I can't fully respond.

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TiersOfJoy 2 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
08-08-06, 01:43 PM (EST)

47. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

TJ, I think you write very articulately and beautifully! I'm amazed that you had difficulty getting your point across on the show when you are so eloquent here.
With that said, I do believe there is a fine line between keeping it real and being obnoxious and truthfully at times you were just that on TV.
I understand you have a disability but how does that explain the episode when Allison got in your face and you were in the confessional boasting about being a "b-itch" and that they hadn't seen anything yet. You seemed to be proud of the tough-girl routine, what that your ADHD talking?
I'm confused because you sent us mixed messages on the show and it was hard liking you.
Keepin real myself,
Joy

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techstyle 124 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
08-08-06, 04:08 PM (EST)

48. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

LAST EDITED ON 08-08-06 AT 06:18 PM (EST)
I personally LOVED when TJ said something about being a bit#$, and "they haven't seen nothing yet!" That's one of my favorite lines. Hey, maybe it's a by product of not being understood for a lot of years. "Smiles all around" doesn't release the tension, and when you're not afraid people will not like you (when they already are showing some disrespect)- I say, why not be a bi@@#! "Live large" (my new fav. line, because who the heck knows what that means- it can be applied to just about anything) TRY IT.

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The Real Kim Season3 2 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
08-09-06, 00:27 AM (EST)

49. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

TJ-
I am sooo proud of you.. I have been swamped and will call soon. I am glad you liked the stuff I sent you. Hey everyone it's the real Kim- you all should know that I didn't feel safe in the house to be vulnerable etc.and that is why I appeared cold and kept to myself. After TJ left (she was the only one that was welcoming and warm to me when I nervously arrived)it was a VERY SCARY place!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know if I could have stayed if I hadn't had that positive and supportive experience early on with her. Thank you TJ- I love you!

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carriem 91 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
08-09-06, 01:44 PM (EST)

53. "RE: TJ and Kim were the least annoying"

Welcome to the boards Kim!One of the things I loved about TJ was her compassion towards other people.I am glad she was so gracious to you.It's funny,you and TJ were always in trouble in the SO house yet you two are the most well-liked and supported HG's if you read all the messages posted here. I wish you and TJ and your families happiness.
P.S.I wouldn't have been happy living with those b!@#$%! either!
Carrie M.

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The Real Kim Season3 2 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
08-09-06, 11:21 PM (EST)

55. "RE: TJ and Kim were the least annoying"

Thank you for your kind words Carrie. The poster that talked about editing was right on! That's why I can't watch myself because I get frustrated with the editing and the way things REALLY happened vs. what made good TV. I really liked all of the housemates despite being people's biggest trigger. It just made me feel like I had to walk on pins and needles and certainly didn't make me feel comfortable being my silly or my emtional& vulnerable self when I was getting bashed by people that didn't even know me my first few days!
I was naive (looking back), in thinking that I was going into a house filled with women who would feel as honored as I did for having the opportunity to enter the SO house....and that together we would give each other support despite our own own unique personalities and flaws. I really believed that anyone walking through that door was amazing (without ever having ever laid eyes on them) because they were truly wanting to work on themselves...... on top of doing it on national television!
It was a great experience though..I'm glad to hear that sooo many people feel they got some good things out of it.

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wallyhoohoo 33 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
08-27-06, 09:36 PM (EST)

80. "RE: TJ and Kim were the least annoying"

i have a question for tj....i grew up in a large family, with no privacy. as a result, i enjoy time alone. when my husband was an airline piot, he would be gone at times for two weeks.
i know you are wondering why i say this...but my question is how did you guys manage to live together without more upset about other house guests?
it is human nature to live with people, especially ppl who you might not relate with had you not been living with the,
i know the scenes that were shown on tv were based on individual problems. and what was shown usually were the moments of breakthrough or concentrating on your perceived flaws.
since the editing probably didnt allow time to show every day interactions, i wonder if it wasnt difficult living with ppl and sharing bedrooms without a bit of irritation,, resentment, or downlike not liking somebody. that is normal when a group gets together. i know when the bathroom incident happened with kim, it was indicative of what i am trying to say.
spending time with people from diff backgrounds, thinking, habits had to be an adjustment., but any such adjustment was rarely shown. that is til toward the end when the woman with the two timing bf was bugging folks with her apparent lack of participation.
so, my question is..wasnt there alot of stress while getting to know each other> and if so, was it edited out? the fact you gals were able to live together was quite a coup. i am also very impressed that you were so serious about wanting help that you overlooked the habits of others that may have been a pet peeve, like chewing and smacking gum makes me nuts.
margaret

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momof4inVA 120 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
08-10-06, 00:22 AM (EST)

56. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

To The Real Kim,
I too grew up in a one parent family(my mother died when I was 8). I thought that the life coaches were especially hard on you and TJ. They have no idea about how hard it is to overcome such difficulties. I really thought that most of the woman in S.O.3 were acting like highschool girls. Most of the time I was yelling at my TV, telling them to grow up. Having said that I do believe (from what I saw on the show) that you would both benifit from privet counciling. I just really thought that they didn't know how to help you or TJ. They gave you tasks and you completed them, but they didn't give you unconditional love or positive reinforcement. Plus they encouraged others to tear you down and hurt you. That is really s**tty. I really lost all respect for either coach.

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Cuntessa 11 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
08-12-06, 10:23 AM (EST)

68. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

>TJ-
>
>
> Hey everyone it's the
>real Kim- you all should
>know that I didn't feel
>safe in the house to
>be vulnerable etc.and that is
>why I appeared cold and
>kept to myself. After
>TJ left (she was the
>only one that was welcoming
>and warm to me when
>I nervously arrived)it was a
>VERY SCARY place!!!!!!!!!!!! I
>don't know if I could
>have stayed if I hadn't
>had that positive and supportive
>experience early on with her.
> Thank you TJ- I
>love you!
Kim, why didn't you feel "safe" in the house? What was scarey about it -- the other ladies, the coaches, the whole process or the fact that you had cameras in your face 24-7? I thought the other ladies (TJ included) had very little compassion for you.
I admire your courage, strength and honesty to face your demons and to do it in a house where other women are being so self-centered, catty, petty and unsupportive.
I wish you much joy and love and hope you've found some peace in your life !

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Cuntessa 11 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
08-09-06, 12:06 PM (EST)

51. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

LAST EDITED ON 08-09-06 AT 12:15 PM (EST)
LAST EDITED ON 08-09-06 AT 12:08 PM (EST)
>LAST EDITED ON 08-08-06
>AT 06:18 PM (EST)
>
> I personally LOVED when
>TJ said something about being
>a bit#$, and "they haven't
>seen nothing yet!" That's one
>of my favorite lines.
> Hey, maybe it's a
>by product of not being
>understood for a lot of
>years. "Smiles all around"
>doesn't release the tension, and
>when you're not afraid people
>will not like you (when
>they already are showing some
>disrespect)- I say, why
>not be a bi@@#!
>"Live large" (my new fav.
>line, because who the heck
>knows what that means- it
>can be applied to just
>about anything) TRY IT.

There certainly is a fine line between being assertive and being an obnoxious beotch and it takes wisdom to know the difference. I agree that "smiles all around" will never release tension while people are locking horns but there's more to conflict resolution than "kicking ##### and being a beotch". Mastering the art of communicating is truly the art of living large as is knowing how to pick your battles. Learning how to express one's self in an assertive way without bullying is the key and TJ at times came across as a BULLY on the show. Running into a confessional and boasting about being tough is nothing to be proud of and it's far from "living large". I doubt highly if that is how Iyanla defines the phrase she coined on the show. Additionally, TJ asks that people be patient and understanding of her and how her brain is wired but on the show she showed very little tolerance, patience and understanding for others. Even in one of her aforementioned posts on this thread she admits that she doesn't have patience for people who can't think at lightning speeds as she does, yet in the same breath asks that we be patient with her because she writes slow because of her disability. That's typical of the mixed messages some got from TJ on the show. And for that very reason I can see why Dr. Stan and others though she was using her ADHD as a crutch.

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slickeronstate 203 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
08-09-06, 01:00 PM (EST)

52. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

LAST EDITED ON 08-09-06 AT 01:39 PM (EST)
LAST EDITED ON 08-09-06 AT 01:36 PM (EST)
I agree with you. The odd thing is she is now a "teacher" for the disabled? Yet, she did not complete high school. She bragged about her two homes and her financial security but she still needs to plead learning disability?
The show won't have a fourth season. I think the most pressing problem with the show was the reality that the LC's were not trained professionals. Dr. Stan was filler and often useful but Iyanla and Rhonda ran the whole thing.
Allison needed a shrink. Kim - sad past but don't rely on that to rationalize your ill treatment of other HG's. Christina - too stunned and giggly to have even been on the show. She can't pay down 1.5k to have her fetish photos removed from the internet yet was about to have ANOTHER child? Lisa - go back to e-mailing billionaires.
They showed Cassie on Allison's grad clips. Cassie's voice makes Allison's almost (operative word being almost) sound adult/at least non-childlike.

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The Real TJ 5 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
08-10-06, 00:46 AM (EST)

57. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

I love the debate going on but I want to clear up a few facts in an effort to dispel any rumors or misinterpretations flying around. You know me always gotta deal in the truth…
I dropped out of high school at the beginning of my senior year. I was so far behind from failing since freshman year that I just gave up (my disabilities were undiagnosed in HS). They just thought I was lazy and unruly. After sitting home for a month I was invited to check out the night school. I worked my butt off and graduated in the top 3% of the class with honors. The small classes and specialized environment allowed me to actualize my potential and that principle is what I base my company mission on. People with ADHD historically are very successful in business. I have never said I was not smart, that is the fallacy society puts on people with brain disorders or disabilities. Many very successful business leaders have a disability. Brokerage innovator Charles Schwab, JetBlue Airways Corp. founder David Neeleman, Kinko's founder Paul Orfalea and John Chambers, chief of Cisco Systems Inc. just to name a few.

I am not a teacher. My business specializes in mentoring adults with developmental disabilities. The best way to describe why I am so successful; because we all teach what we need to learn!
Yes, I am a contradiction, but aren’t we all. In one of Rhonda’s books she describes it best. We all live in a state of FEAR or FREEDOM. When I am in fear and feeling defensive I can become a bully, biotch, impatient and judgmental. When I am in freedom, I am loving, compassionate, patient and caring, actualizing my authentic self. I live in fear most of the time for many reasons. I think a lot of us do, there in lies the contradiction. I don’t feel safe and have conditioned myself to feel as if I have to defend myself. It is my struggle and cross to bear. That by no means justifies my behavior but hopefully sheds some light on it. Yes, you are correct! I can be a biotch, and a bully, that’s why I went into the house!!! I don’t have the wisdom to know the difference that is what I was hoping to learn. I sat in a box for 3 days over 3 hours at a time in 100 degree weather for Christ sake. I beat myself up far worse than any of you ever could, and have endured verbal beatings my whole life so I am immune to it on an emotional level, maybe that is the true issue.
I have consistently been told from a very early age that I am wrong, bad, and inappropriate and need to change in order for others to love me. I have never been accepted just because I breathe (other than from Rick). I would agree I go about discussing my disabilities in the wrong way, AGAIN, that’s why I went on the show. It is obvious I don’t do an adequate job at explaining myself! Let me try again; I am not a biotch because I have disabilities. I am a biotch and can become very defensive because of the rejection I have experienced my whole life because I have disabilities and am different. The constant abuse and ridicule has caused Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. If a dog is constantly kicked eventually it will fight back no matter how loving. I went on the show to learn how to stop fighting back, unfortunately, I am still learning.
I responded to Tonya to agree with her and to let her know that I hear her. You can chew up my reply and spit it out any way you want to but from what I have learned when we are pointing a finger at someone there are always 3 pointing right back at you! I am willing to acknowledge and expose my faults and weaknesses, are you? If that is being a Rhonda wanna be than I guess I am guilty but I did not need to go on Starting Over to learn that lesson.
I am happy to debate my behavior all day long or not, I just wanted to clear up some facts. Wow, you don’t hear from me all year and now you can’t get rid of me. I’ll leave you alone now.
What’s up Kimmy B, us triggers gotta stick together! I love you too, thanks for the shout out and support.
Keepin It Real,
TJ

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momof4inVA 120 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
08-10-06, 01:01 AM (EST)

58. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

TJ
Why do you care what some people on this board think. You have a great husband and a good life. Let them say what they want it's a free country. You don't have to justify yourself or your opinions so strongly. When you do do that all you you are asking is (like me, please hear me, and (what I think is the hardest thing) except me.)There are always going to be people who can't do that. sc*w them get on with your life.

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carriem 91 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
08-10-06, 01:39 PM (EST)

60. "You have to hand it to TJ and Kim."

Both of you ladies went in to the SO house with genuine intentions of self-improvement.TJ,I am amazed at your ability to step back and look at your own behavior and admit where you need work.Taking this kind of fearless self-inventory shows that you are a person with integrity and strength.Especially because your behavior was so much better than the other HG's.You could have easily just pointed to their faults and not thought at all about any minor part you might have had in any problem.I am amazed at your generosity and you patience with other people.
Kim,You are a very gracious and kind person to be able to say nice things about the other HG's after the way they behaved towards you.You are much more emotionally mature in your postings than you were portrayed to be on the show.
I would like to know if either of you feels that all you went through was worth it and would you do it again knowing what you know now?
Carrie M.
P.S.Sorry for the long post.I'm usually not so talkative.

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berwyn 108 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
08-10-06, 03:26 PM (EST)

61. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

"I have consistently been told from a very early age that I am wrong, bad, and inappropriate and need to change in order for others to love me."
TJ, thank you for writing so candidly about your life experiences. As a parent of an "abnormal" teenager, I am constantly being told to make him be "normal". I have stood my ground based on nothing but a mother's instinct and told family and friends to just let him be himself. It gets harder to do this. My son looks like a man and acts like a boy. I will remember your words and keep trying to send the message to my son that he can walk his own path and still be loved. You are truely a teacher.

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RJ Lewis 2 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
08-10-06, 07:44 PM (EST)

62. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

LAST EDITED ON 08-18-06 AT 05:23 PM (EST)
LAST EDITED ON 08-18-06 AT 05:21 PM (EST)
Dearest TJ,
I've in fact watched you twice now on Starting Over, and I've been most interested in your progress through the show, because I raised a son with severe ADHD, which was apparent at birth. However, I did my best to raise him with as much love and support as I could. I was a single parent, so it was a difficult task at its best, as I had other children also, and they didn't understand why he needed so much more of my time and attention at times.
TJ, I commend all of your hard work as I do the other ladies in the SO house. I know that it was all heavily edited and that I saw only what they wanted me to see. I totally understand that.
I know you have a busy life,(don't we all!) but when you get some time, please contact me privately, if you would, please. No, I won't divulge anything we talk about. That's just not me, OK? I also have PTSD, and I think you and I could talk about alot-- maybe help each other? Perhaps. =) Anyway, I consider you one brave and strong lady for doing what you did, and for working as hard as you have, and for coming as far as you have. Kudos Sistah!
RJ
Edit by RJ...Thanks a bunch Moderator for the advice. ;) Much appreciated. I wasn't thinking that day for some reason.

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mysticwolf 10692 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
08-11-06, 11:06 PM (EST)

65. "You may want to edit"

RJ, a lot of spam generators have automated systems that troll message boards, even this one, looking for e-mail addresses. If you want to send a message to any poster here you can do so by clicking on either the e-mail icon or PM icons on the right-hand side of their name.
E-mail will go to whatever e-mail address they used to join, PM's will go to their board e-mail. Either one is a safer alternative to putting your e-mail out in public on a public message board.
For one thing, messages sent through our board, regardless of which mailbox you select, are still subject to our guidelines. If someone flames you or says something inappropriate, all you need do is forward it to a mod. E-mails that do not go through our board we have no control over and can take no action on. Publicizing your e-mail this way opens you to possibilities that may not be to your liking.
You can edit by clicking on the Edit link at the bottom of the post you made that you wish to edit. I strongly advise you to do so.

Pack Alpha Status Accorded by Tribe blogging's scary

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wallyhoohoo 33 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
08-27-06, 09:49 PM (EST)

81. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

slicker, funny you mention about some of the hg needing a shrink.
while the three ppl teaching the women how to mjake their lives happier and productive, excpet for dr stan, some of the folks needed extensive counselling. one with regular meetings with that person. it is great that dr stan was involved, but some of the concerns being addressed made it pretty clear that a few of the women needed more help. i mean they knew their lives were out of control. some, like the one with all the debt(sorry i dont remember names)seemed to be getting the drive by style of treatment, a quick fix. if all that time is to help ppl live their best lives, then shouldnt they be given more intensive ways of coping?
again, they may have been getting it and it was edited out, my concern is what if they didnt have the opportunity to have individaul intense counselling, the rest of the experience may not stick with them
margaret

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kawyar 58 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
08-09-06, 02:14 PM (EST)

54. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

I took the entire SO show with a gigantic rock of salt. It's television. There's a lot of editing. In fact, the show won its only Emmy for single-camera editing. Viewers are manipulated by creative editing to see the HG's in certain ways. Many times they succeed. Savvy people know that there's more to the "drama" than the way it's presented.
TJ seemed to be a genuine person who was dedicated to being a better person even before she entered the house. Her story was not "glamorous" like Jill's, nor self-pitying like Allison's. She was and still seems to be a genuine and sincere person. I've sometimes blustered out loud about being tough myself. Sometime it's because I'm trying to convince my own self rather than others. It's often called "venting". That doesn't necessarily mean that I am a tough b*tch in real life, but maybe I just want some predatory types to think so.
Maybe messages seemed mixed on the television show, but over time, it seemed that TJ emerged as someone who knew she had flaws but needed help to fix them. That in itself kept her head and shoulders above most of the others.
As far as having lighting-fast thought processes, I know what she's talking about. Sometimes it's a curse of a survival/coping mechanism, other times it's a gift. Not everyone understands or appreciates it, but for the most part, it is a gift.

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Cuntessa 11 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
08-10-06, 10:41 AM (EST)

59. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

LAST EDITED ON 08-10-06 AT 10:51 AM (EST)

TJ wrote:
"I wish they would have spent more time on my disabilities and not accuse me of using it as a crutch. Having ADHD and learning disabilities is so difficult in a cookie cutter world. I want people to know, I am just wired differently. It is the difference between a Mac and a PC. Different operating systems but the end result is the same. I am always looking for ways I can become more proficient in being an expert in TJ! The problem with the world (myself included) is "we all think, you should think the way I think!" ADHD allows me the ability to process, multitask and think in lightening speed creating the efficiency needed to be a successful business owner. I have a problem solved before others even realize there is one. That gets me in trouble in my personal life because I have a hard time operating in a vulnerable space where I am not most efficient. I crave and thrive on efficiency! I admit it, I am a machine. I constantly think to myself why can't others speed up, think faster and multitask? I become frustrated when others are operating and thinking differently. Ultimately, I wanted to be a champion for all of those who feel like damaged goods just because they don't fit the mold, and learn to stop judging others for not fitting in my mold. If we acknowledge and embrace everyone's differences we would all live a bit more harmoniously."
-------------------------------------------------------------
TJ,
Just wondering why you would choose a Realty TV show to help you with your ADHD disability knowing full well that "Life Coaches" clearly aren't neurologists or psychotherapists. With your resources I would imagine you could have found the professional help you truly need to aid you with behavioral modifications as well as intense therapy for the post-traumatic stress and other emotional traumas you've experienced. Many of your fans were outraged that Starting Over exploited your disability and believed the coaches did more harm than good to you but YOU chose that route and I'm curious why.
Did the coaches at least help you with your frustration with others who can't think or be as efficient as yourself? If you want others to be tolerant, patient, understanding and accepting of you and your disability, it might be helpful for you to practice being accepting of others as well. Not everyone can think at lightning speed but remember people have other strengths that you don't possess therefore wouldn't it be wise to practice what you preach?
Thanks for your reply.
C

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creepyoldwoman 104 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
08-10-06, 09:51 PM (EST)

63. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

I used to post here regularly but I've been so sick with my pregnancy that I had to take it really easy. However, seeing Kim and TJ post here got me out of my slumber.
Kim: I am so happy to get the chance to let you know how your story sort of blew up my mind. We had a very similar childhood with all of the abuse. I was watching you with my husband and I turned to him and said how you and I were hit all of the time with the belt and blah blah. Then I said to him, You know, even after all of these years, I still don't remember what I did to get all of those whippings and abuse by different adults in my life. MY husband looked at me in disbelief and said "you didn't do anything to deserve it, it was child abuse". I realized that I have spent my whole life thinking I deserved it and have been in every conflict situation expecting the other person to hit me or something. So, watching you Kim and your story, brought out this mind shattering revelation in me. And like you , Kim, I have been scared to death that I will hurt my own kids. So, I was finally able to see where this fear really came from.
Thank you Kim, for being so brave and going on tv to reach women like me.
TJ: You remind me of my son. He's wired differently as well. I fight off the "autism" label because it's used too freely, however, I give into "speech and language impaired".
My son, is wired so perfectly for this technological world we now live in but please don't try to make him a diplomat. This is all okay. Everyone always tries to label everyone else and put them and their personality traits neatly into some understandable box. However, with humans, the parts do not equal the whole.
A big lesson I got from SO was from Season 2. Rhonda took everyone to the beach and spent private time with Josie. Josie had to label a photo of herself with post it notes and describe all of her negative aspects and things she was ashamed of. Then the women came back and viewed this giant poster of Josie with all of her bad thoughts out on display. They all found out that they all felt the same way about themselves at one time or another. They all felt unloved, felt like killing someone, felt ashamed of their bodies, felt they used sex and men etc. However, just because you felt unloved at one time, doesn't make you unlovable or that you will always feel unloved. This emotion, this act in the past, doesn't define the whole human being.
So, I think that when people say terrible things to you, you have the right idea in one of your other posts. You realized that it was their projection on to you. Your post was so eloquent and reminded me of some of the things that made SO great. I think you should ask yourself if this person that says terrible things to you is an authority? Do they know what they are talking about? Consider the source. If it's a non professional , then do they really care about you or are they just projecting? Do they offer solutions for you after they tell you everything that's wrong with you? I am not talking about this forum and other posters, I am talking about the real people in your life.
TJ and Kim, you are great women. I wish you well in life and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for having the courage to go on the show.

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2boysmom 1 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
08-11-06, 09:28 PM (EST)

64. "Kim and TJ"

I agree! Kim and TJ were so real and so honest. I connected with them b/c I saw so much of myself in both of them, and could totally related to the level of discomfort they were experiencing. I often found myself wishing the other gals would cut them a break!

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momof4inVA 120 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
08-11-06, 11:27 PM (EST)

66. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

creepyold woman,
Your son has an autism lable. So does my 14 year old daughter. She is so bright and artisticly gifted that I actually find myself thankful for (at least) her ability to focus on things important to her. Sure she has social issues. She will never have a few dozen friends that truely care about her but she does have a close family and neighbors that are really interested in her and ask her opinions on alot of things.She will be ok cause she has that support system. I hope that you have family and neighbors like mine.

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teddi408 2 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
08-25-06, 08:56 PM (EST)

75. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Cuntessa--I agree with your post. Why did TJ choose SO for the help it seemed she could have more easily gotten from professionals on the outside? I think that the way the LC's handled TJ on the show was perfect only because of the INCREDIBLE progress that she made! Doesn't that count for something? Since TJ chose this venue for personal change (without walking away I might add) and then made these incredible changes in her life, I can only applaud the SO process.

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wallyhoohoo 33 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
08-27-06, 08:57 PM (EST)

77. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

joy, you make some valid points but i would like to share something that i dont share often.
i have bipolar disorder. most ppl hear that and from then on blow off anything i say or do because i am "nuts"
i was diagnosed in 1989. i immediately stopped drinking. my experiences having this illness have run the gamut. one thing tho...i do NOT blame my behavior on the bipolar. some do. it is easy to say "i screamed at somebody because i have bipolar" replace the bipolar with ADHD.
from what i see, tj hasnt blamed her adhd for her behavior when it was bad. it can be so easy to behave badly and rather than be accountable, blame it on an illness. i dont have alot of respect for ppl who claim their behavior is due to some disorder.
tj never did. her diagnosis with adhd didnt make her blame her early anger and assertiveness on it. she recognized that she had adhd, but didnt use it as a crutch.
i know how you support tj. i just wanted to clarify about anyone thinking her behavior was ok due to adhd. we are always accountable and cant expect ppl to sympathize if we arent willing to help ourselves. you mention tj coming across as a tough girl. i was that way. in my first marriage, i made the money and decisions about things. it took alot of therapy and meds to be able to be objective. i think tj is the same. you cant ignore your issues and expect ppl to allow it, out of pity or ignorance.
pls dont think i am bashig. your support is evident and your questions valuable. i just wanted to give an idea as to how and why our behavior is often a way to not take ownership of our issues.
margaret

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mysticwolf 10692 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
08-11-06, 11:42 PM (EST)

67. "Back on the Show, Please"

Folks, please let me remind you that this forum is for discussion of the show episodes and show participants. This is not a blogging site.
Links to the HG blogs can be found in the SO Links thread.
If this thread continues to read like a blog, instead of a show discussion, I'm gonna lock it as being off-topic.

Pack Alpha Status Accorded by Tribe blogging's scary

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snoopyangel2808 1 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
08-16-06, 08:22 PM (EST)

69. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

Hello TJ
I really like you when you on the show. I am glad rick is doing well. I just want to say know what is like to have a disabitily because I have ADHD and Learn Disabitly just like you. I am 28years old. I am not married I don't have kids either. I am living on my own. I own my house. I am going to honesty here I don't know expect peoples feelings or opion about something. I know for fact that why my relationships never work out. I know takes two tango but I am was the one not allowing anyone to love me becasue I was afrid of being judge for my chacter of who I am. I can admit this today I was playing minds games with alll of my men I have been with but I didn't even know it until just now. The reason for me saying this because I would do everything in my power keep them around me and to stay with me. Then on top of it when was time for the to split up with them I would be one my saying they took advantage of me and in realltiy I was one that allow that to happen no one but me and me alone. By me doing everything in my power for them and doing all the work in the relationship. I would never allow the other person be part of the relationship. I would always tried so hard to have a marriage I have always I want and I have the kids I want. I wasn't allowing the person feel or have anything do in the relationship. I can admit I wanted it all for me and no one else. I don't just do this the relationship with men. I have even done this to my own family when I was child. I had to always have my way. I didn't care about what other thought or what they had say. I wouldn't even give them time of day. I want to everyone know I am truely I am sorry for not feeling your pain what you are going through life. I would say I am very selfish person. I am very strong well person. If I want something I go for it. So I am asking all of who read this Im or e-mail with advice. So I can change. I brake down this wall I have about being judge or not allowing people love me who I am . As well not allow myself to know what other feels or their opinion. I hope you can help me out
Crystal
Spokane WA

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mysticwolf 10692 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
08-18-06, 06:48 PM (EST)

74. "snoopyangel2808"

There are sites with forums devoted to just what you are asking for. Self-help sites whose members and mods may be able to help you change. People who are trained to help in just that way.
This is not such a site or forum. This place is for bashing and discussing reality tv shows. We are not trained to help people change their lives.
If you wish to discuss the show, welcome, and please read our guidelines. If you are looking for a site and people to get help in changing your life, you will need to look elsewhere for it. This isn't that place.
(And, btw, screen names serve a purpose. That of preserving your privacy. Using your real name and identifying your location in your postings is not recommended on the Internet, for safety's sake.)

Pack Alpha Status Accorded by Tribe blogging's scary

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Madigan 32 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
08-30-06, 07:26 AM (EST)

85. "RE: I am alive and well, thank you for caring and sharing! TJ"

TJ -
I only started to watch the show during Season 3 and it was incredible to watch the (respective) evolutions of each woman. I found it a bit odd that Iyanla and Rhonda didn't confront Lisa about her judgments about Christina...(whatever happened to her, anyway?).
I was definitely one of those people who was annoyed by you at first (you were really bossy at the very first exercise and I felt bad for the other ladies), but was SO rooting for you at the end! I really respect how honest and real you were...especially about the rape and the disorders. That takes a lot of courage and I know I learned a lot from watching.
Thanks a lot!
P.S. - KIM - so glad you are posting too! I couldn't believe my two faves were posting here!!! You lived with probably the majority of the houseguests for season 3 - that must have been very challenging. I probably learned the most from you - had a similar situation with my parents. It was HUGE watching you and your Mom interact - thank you for that.

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