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"Why is Cassie still in the house? "

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cleogrl 115 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"	05-05-06, 12:29 PM (EST)
"Why is Cassie still in the house? "
Sorry...I know Cassie has been in a lot of pain, but I can't help but feel that all of her motives for seeing her son are selfish and the LCs and other houseguests have enabled her. Did you notice the dumbfounded look on her face when Dr. Stan told Cassie that the meeting with her son was about her son and his needs, that it wasn't about Cassie? Cassie never thought of it like that. Her jaw just about dropped. It's all about Cassie being the victim. How the horrible adoptive mother kept Cassie away and then that casued Cassie's downward spiral. Cassie has used not being in her son's life as an excuse for her disappointments in life. If I was that boy's mother I would be furious with Cassie. Who knows what lies and half-truths Cassie has been spreading. Why is Cassie still in the SO house? Are we going to have to deal with Cassie and that puppy dog pout for another few weeks while Rhonda encourages Cassie to blame others for her problems? It seems that everyone else had to get a reality check except Cassie. My guess is that the mother had a very good reason for eliminating Cassie from his life. First, Cassie doesn't understand that when you sign away parental rights you are actually giving another person those rights. As others have stated, she views adoption as a foster care situation. That must have spiked alarm bells in the mom and the dad. Second, Cassie hasn't exactly been a model of good behavior. What parent would intentionally bring an addict into their child's life. Most parents keep irresponsible adults away from their kids. Additionally, this boy had to deal with a divorce and also has had addiction problems himself. Gee, what a great time to have him interact with his birth mom who's a complete mess and doesn't have a place to live most of the time. I think Cassie breached any agreement they had by not getting her life in order and the mother decided it wasn't healthy. This woman didn't adopt Cassie also. Cassie is like a lot of former addicts, she wants to erase her years of addiction and only focus on the date of her sobriety to the present. I don't know why the LCs enable her victimhood. It's a joke now, Cassie has absolutely no plan for the 2nd visit with her son, her life or anything else and the LCs haven't called her on it. This is Cassie's what, 3rd time in the house and she simply focuses on seeing her son and nothing else. She's been so busy blaming the adoptive mom for all her problems in her life that she expected to see her son face to face and then I guess she would simply wave a wand and her whole life would be different.
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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-05-06, 12:35 PM (EST)

1. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Cassie needs an exit strategy that of course SO won't provide. She should be looking for a JOB as I don't see any evidence her Angel business took off and she should be looking for a boarding house until she can make enough money to afford an apartment as I'm assuming the SO rent has probably run out that they gave her as a gift last time. If SO has any ethics left at all, which I doubt highly, they would be using this time instead of having her flop on the couch looking drugged out to actually be pulling her life together and trying to use this time to get herself together.
Dustin can't be her reason to live. No one person can provide another person with that you have to be able to do that for yourself. They can enrich your life, provide you with love and support but Cassie needs to learn to take care of Cassie and Rhonda should be riding her but right now instead of letting her wallow around the house like a pig. She needs to get off her but and be pushed to get act together.
That way if Dustin wants to be a part of her life, great she will have a life to include him in. If he chooses not to be involved well she still has a life perhaps more empty to work on without him.

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Lanna42 263 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
05-05-06, 01:11 PM (EST)

2. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

My problem with Cassie is that she doesn't seem to be doing much that's constructive with her time when she's not dealing with the "reunite with my son" issue.I think there are TONS of inconsistencies in Cassie's stories.You could drive a Mac truck threw the holes in her stories as has been pointed out by other posters.I DO think she is manipulative.I DO believe that she doctor's her stories to make herself look more sympathetic.I DO think she is needy to the extreme and is like a very CLINGY little girl.I DO think it is good that she and her son are trying to work out a relationship.But an equal or greater amount of her time and ambition should be focused on getting job skills and supporting herself.She like many former addicts is STUNTED in her development as a woman. It stopped the day she started abusing.Thus,the creepy little girl voice and goofy childlike demeanor.Which personally,I find irritating and can only take so much of.She's a developmentally,psychologically STUNTED woman.She needs to grow up and think rationally about her future.Addicts or former addicts are almost by definition SELF CENTERED and I see that in Cassie.She has a hard time focusing on the needs of others.Such as her sons needs when THEY CONFLICT with her own.Everything is fine when things go her way.But what happens when the inevitable problems come up and she has to do something in her sons best interest that she doesn't want to do?Is she whining and pleading incessantly?

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Twinkles 324 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"
05-05-06, 01:48 PM (EST)

4. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Cassie is getting piecemeal direction in the house about how to grow up. She's getting a bit of feedback by having the other women respond to her. I think she'd get the same kind of support by going to AA and NA and simply finding any kind of job. All of those provide social interaction with people who are functioning better than she has in her past and with real world experiences.
There was a movie I saw a long time ago where the main character was talking to his AA sponsor about entering into a relationship and was told no,get a plant instead. He was taken aback but then seriously the sponsor seriously explained first see if you can keep a plant alive for a year before you can be safe with the feelings of a person.
This scene replays itself when I think of Cassie and Dustin. No, she's not going to have to take him into her home but she has to be informed of how to set boundaries (Dr Stan: "if he wants to come live with you it's a bad idea"), she can't take care of herself yet with a decent job or place to live, and she had no response to Dustin when he helplessly trailed off with "I don't know what to do next".
He sounded like he needed a little guidance -- some stable adult response there. Perhaps just "you don't need to do anything" or "we'll figure this out as we go along, for today we'll just talk" or Something an adult would say to soothe an overwhelmed person who in the moment feels like a child. (Cassie was silent)
Cassie isn't going to learn all about how to deal with him in the next few days. I'm going back to my theory about coordinating schedules for why she's still there. Maybe they want Dustin to be able to come to her umpteenth graduation and he's not available for a little while.

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msshasha 18 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
05-07-06, 08:24 AM (EST)

38. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

You hit the nail right on the head. Whine, whine, whine. I can hardly stand to watch her with those puppy dog eyes pleading with all she's got and sniffling about oh poor me - such a life I've led without my son. She is most definitely stunted in her emotional growth and has no idea how to lead a healthy productive life without portraying herself as the ultimate victim. She is going nowhere and I'm afraid that she will take her son down with her (whining all the way)

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tac_2 351 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"
05-05-06, 01:37 PM (EST)

3. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Why? Because she's homeless, jobless and collecting as much money, goods and fame as she can. That's what cons do.
Maybe when she finishes that puzzle she's working on Cassie will find the spare time to check out the employment opportunities in her area?
Until then, SO really has no choice but to keep her.
Cassie is a proven goldbricker and will super-glue herself to anyone or anything she can get to avoid responsibility and I think SO is getting their just rewards in their inability to get rid of her. Of course, eventually, she'll have to get off her lazy duff and do something, just hope she doesn't put the squeeze on Dustin, is all. But she already tried and failed to get him back in front of the camera's so maybe, just maybe, it didn't take him long to figure out her whole game.

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-05-06, 02:53 PM (EST)

5. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

She asked him of the behalf of SO- and told him whatever he wanted to do was okay by her. He siad he didn't want to go on , and she said that's okay. I just want you to do what you feel is right and i'll stand by it. I thought Cassie was very kind and loving toward his decision and did not pressure him in the least.

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Juliejo 477 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
05-05-06, 03:34 PM (EST)

6. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

I think the boy siad he didnt want to go to the SO house and be on public TV and that his adoptive mother either didnt know yet and would be upset or is already upset.
Either way its time for Ms. Cassie to get a life and a job and get out of the SO house. She didnt put her needs first or pressure her son because Dr. Stan and Rhonda had coached her very well.
She acts like her son went into Foster Care and not Adoption and I dont' get that. I just dont' get Casssie I guess.

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UWSider 43 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
05-07-06, 10:40 AM (EST)

41. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

>I think the boy siad he
>didnt want to go to
>the SO house and be
>on public TV and that
>his adoptive mother either didnt
>know yet and would be
>upset or is already upset.
>
Yes, I think this kid is scared to death of his adoptive mother. Clearly she's a pretty selfish person, lying to her son his entire life about being adopted and then telling him his biological mother is dead. She then tried to prevent him from finding out the truth when it inevitably came out by filing a lawsuit against Starting Over. She sounds like a real peach to me. I'd be scared, too.

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tac_2 351 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"
05-06-06, 01:36 AM (EST)

26. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

LAST EDITED ON 05-06-06 AT 01:38 AM (EST)
>She asked him of the behalf
>of SO-

I strongly believe she shouldn't have asked at all, so it's unimportant who's idea it was to begin with.
Cassie knows who holds all the cards right now and it's Rhonda and the producers who have whored her out for ratings. Then they want to use Dustin for the same purpose so what do they do? Knowing what a tool she is, have Cassie ask him to make another appearance. Talk about cheesy.
Actions have always spoken louder than words to me and the vast distance between Cassie's words and actions tell me she's faking it all the way.

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26mitogo 493 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
05-05-06, 04:50 PM (EST)

7. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

I came to the boards to say exactly: Why IS Cassie still there??? She has no steps, no assignments, she did what she came to do and they certainly aren't working with her on getting her act together. Is this another Allison? Can't SO learn what happens when they enable those who have no other life than SO? Sure they worship the show, the house, and the LCs ... what else do they have? But that isn't any reason to keep them dependent on a sinking ship. Christie could easily be the same way when she leaves unless she really can use this 5k Run to realize it really is fun to push yourself to do the things you see others do but have never done because of fear. Once you get on a roll, begin accomplishing things, you can't imagine living any other way.
Cassie has lived her life searching for a constant super-high. She has used alcohol, drugs, men, religion, recovery, SO, and now finding her son to achieve an artificial high. But she is still searching for anything possible to make her heart soar and her head buzz. Problem is, life doesn't work that way. 99% of our daily lives is just plain living ... making the bed, brushing our teeth, running errands, eating, working, driving, etc. Mostly, it's all rather boring but most of us take it in stride, realize it's all a part of it and angels don't need to sing every time we get the mail or put on our shoes. We don't need that. Those big joys of life that send you into an adrenoline frenzy don't come along all that often but that's usually OK. It isn't something we try to find on a daily basis ... because our daily life does have it's little fulfillments that keep us satisfied but not "high". Cassie seems to think that without the buzz of an outward chemical or bursts of inner adrenoline & endorphins there is nothing good going on. SO needs to have been teaching her all along that we all have to find something worth working toward every single day that simply gives us daily satisfaction and general pleasure ... not something magical and super-high. Most of us don't need to arrive on a daily basis! I don't think I could take that kind of high every day ... get the biggest promotion of your life, experience the miracle of the birth of your first child later that day, reach the top of Mt.Everest the next morning, graduate with your PhD that evening, etc. It's just too much. But it seems like Cassie is constantly looking for this kind of a high. Notice her face when IV was playing the recording that was made from Naimbi's vocals & singing today. She was working up that angles-singing-from-on-high gloriously-resplendent emotional high yet again. Just enjoy it Cassie. Don't try to make every moment a drug-level high.
IMO, it's irresponsible for SO to keep someone like Cassie sitting around continually obsessing about her son - still - and not teaching her how to survive the world she needs to go back to. She needs to go back able to move on, regardless of what Dustin does or doesn't do. I fear for him. He may find out very soon why the parents did and said what they did about his birth mother - not the substance abuse, but the "leach" in her ... her lack of boundries, that part of her that doesn't pick up on people's feelings and doesn't understand normal social behavior. If this is what Cassie never got from parents and didn't learn "under the influence" this is what SO would have done well to teach her. Too bad Dustin may have to make a tough decision about Cassie. Will she HONESTLY give him plenty of space or will she always put on subtle & unsubtle pressure, driving him to have to reject her in order to keep her from being just too much?

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petmama 494 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
05-05-06, 05:25 PM (EST)

8. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Since Cassie's lastest return to the SOH was so she could reunite with Dustin, and this has happened, it's beyond time for her to go. Especially since Rhonda never gave her a new goal and set of steps. I suspect Cassie's being used as a "filler" since it's too late in the season to admit, and graduate, a new HG. Surely B/M could've found a less irritating person to serve this purpose. I had to fast forward past Cassie's assinine dance on Tuesday's episode. And, would've done the same today if she'd kept up her stupid singing about finding cards. Cassie's still an addict, BTW. She's just swapped nicotine for drugs and alcohol. Food, too, from the looks of her expanding butt.

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-05-06, 05:40 PM (EST)

9. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

To no one in particular... I know i'm always defending Cassie, and I know it's hard for people to understand- which is hard for me to understand. But if you look at it, we doom her to hell and all that, but give Dustin, who is in the same situation she was in years ago, full credit as a human being. Cassie is a human too. She was adopted, abused, got hooked on substance, etc. And now is building her lide back, and is doing so with great strides and kindness to others. Where is the compassion for her as a human? When did she lose the right to be respected? Can she ever gain it back? When does she ever do anything good enough to cure her past? I just have to wonder and am frustrated at the wall that is around her for love from others.

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-05-06, 06:43 PM (EST)

11. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Cassie needs some tough love and disipline. She's had plenty of enablers in her life including the SO staff. It obviously hasn't worked, she's still in victim mode. Cassie doesn't need anyone else to help her be a victim she does need a LC or therapist or someone to teach her how to live like an adult with responsiblities and bounderies. That isn't cruel what is cruel is continuing to enable her to fail, to continue to encourage her in her failures.

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-05-06, 07:27 PM (EST)

14. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Hi Baxtera! Well, I respect you answer. I still hold my viewpoint, but I do respect what you say. I just feel like we don't really know the strides she's making outside the house. And we don't whether ot not she's still there by her request or by SO's. We don't know if she works or where, or where she lives or if. We do know she has a friend who is supporting her emotionally on the phone, which is wonderful. No mention was made by Cassie that she lives with her, or is borrowing money. Also, all the people in the house really seem to hold Cassie in high esteem, even Antonia now. That says a lot to me about the fact that she is a great person and not a monster, loser, addict, liar, dumba&&.
What I see, even with production and editing is this: a woman who gave up alchohol and drugs. A woman who achieved her GED (no matter how many tries). A woman who is kind to others. A woman who is looking for work. A woman who supports others. A woman who stands up for herself. A woman who doesn't give up. A woman who was VERY mature and gentle in the meeting with her birthson.
I see all these things and can't understand how others can still dislike her so violently.

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-05-06, 07:35 PM (EST)

15. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

And also, because I don't feel I met your issue properly (sorry about that!) I wanted to say that with tough love, well I guess Iyanla is the one for that. Rhonda is much more of a nurturer. Iyanla would have tied Cassie to a wall and made her say, "I am a whore! I am a drunk! I'm a horrible person for giving up my son!!!" But you see.... Cassie was already saying those things to herself when she got to SO. I remember her saying them constantly. That's why I don't understand people shoving them back in her face.
Rhonda knew that it wasn't tough love that she needed, it was forgiveness. Cassie was like a little social commentary to herself of all the things she thought others were thinking abou her. She'd already been putting herself down every second of her life!!! Seriously. Rhonda took the approach of being gentle and helping Cassie to heal. I think that tough love would have, instead of helping Cassie, made her go in the wrong way. She needed someone to tell her she was okay, that she could get her GED, and maybe meet her son and be a good person in this life. She'd already had people tough loving her for all her life.

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-09-06, 08:21 AM (EST)

75. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

There's a difference between enabling Rhonda and punishing IV. It is the tough love and disipline Cassie so desperatly needs to develop for herself.
People have been forgiving and loving towards Cassie. They have fed her, clothed her, and provide her with shelter. Fans have helped her since her first appearence on the show and she used and abused them and refused to get a JOB and actually work towards getting a life together. Instead she mooched which seems to be the SO way. Maybe she needs Dr. Phil's moochers show to actually see herself in the mirror and develop a plan to overcome her mooching addiction.
Cassie needs someone to shake up her world and help her to fly right.

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Incognito 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
05-05-06, 09:41 PM (EST)

20. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

kree writes:
>I see all these things and
>can't understand how others can
>still dislike her so violently.
Kree, I don't see a "violent" dislike for her here at Reality TV World. I do see a healthy level of mistrust. I see eyes wide open. In the past, ie the Muthaboard and some private boards, I've seen appalling dislike of the woman. I still think she's a sneak and an opportunist and exhibiting many less than desirable qualities. Didn't she snoop out the most cards in that asinine "game" today? Hmmm. Ladies!!! Hide your ciggies and Rx pain relievers...
Incognito

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JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
05-05-06, 08:29 PM (EST)

18. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

I agree with you Baxtera. Cassie has been enabled all her life. Some people need lots of love and sympathy (not the right word but I can't think of the one I want) to get themselves together and others need a swift kick in the butt and tough love and discipline to get themselves together. Cassie's response to sympathy and love is to use it, abuse it and play victim as opposed to gaining strength to do what she needs to do and then stand on her own 2 feet. Cassie wanted her son to know she was not dead. Fine, he knows that now..now get her out of the house. She's mooched long enough.

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-05-06, 08:36 PM (EST)

19. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Cassie has had lots of people who were loving and kind. She herself admits people let her live with them and tried to help her out room and board for free and she's never gotten it together. That's not a sign of someone who needs more nuturing and more sympathy but someone who does need disipline and structure. I think there's a difference between the voodoo priestess swamp exercises and getting a reality check that in this world you need a JOB to provide your essentials of a place to live and food to eat. It's not that hard to figure out and at Cassie's age she's well past the need to know and definitly at the point of having someone kick her in the but to get there. She has had lots of kindness, love and support and she's used and abused it. Now she needs someone to help her develop a sense of self disipline and structure to give her self worth and value. Not to be harsh or mean but because enabling only continues to destroy her self-esteem and self-worth. They aren't helping Cassie but keeping her in the gutter.

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Incognito 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
05-05-06, 09:50 PM (EST)

21. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

I'm surprised Verna hasn't posted here. Cassie grew her behind crashing at her place. Waving to Verna. I don't have a link to your site anymore, but I hope everything is going swimmingly for you. Take care and until we meet... in the afterlife... or not...
Incognito

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beckettrep 814 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-06-06, 07:03 PM (EST)

37. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Cassie is a definite leech for sure. I'm glad for her that her son seemed pleased to meet her and all but other than that I, too, question why she's still there. Now we have bobble-head Cassie and all-knowing Toadie (another bobble-head) and all the bobbing of heads is making me queasy. They should send them both home.

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JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
05-06-06, 08:15 AM (EST)

28. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

>Cassie has had lots of people
>who were loving and kind.
> She herself admits people
>let her live with them
>and tried to help her
>out room and board for
>free and she's never gotten
>it together. That's not
>a sign of someone who
>needs more nuturing and more
>sympathy but someone who does
>need disipline and structure.
>I think there's a difference
>between the voodoo priestess swamp
>exercises and getting a reality
>check that in this world
>you need a JOB to
>provide your essentials of a
>place to live and food
>to eat. It's not
>that hard to figure out
>and at Cassie's age she's
>well past the need to
>know and definitly at the
>point of having someone kick
>her in the but to
>get there. She has
>had lots of kindness, love
>and support and she's used
>and abused it. Now
>she needs someone to help
>her develop a sense of
>self disipline and structure to
>give her self worth and
>value. Not to be
>harsh or mean but because
>enabling only continues to destroy
>her self-esteem and self-worth.
>They aren't helping Cassie but
>keeping her in the gutter.
>

I think you misread my post Baxtera. I said I agree with you on this (as I do alot of things). I said Cassie's response to love and sympathy is to use and abuse it. Cassie doesn't respond in a normal healthy way to the love, support and encouragement she gets. She manipulates people, uses the love and sympathy to gain attention and free hand outs and then chooses to stay the way she is yet still suck the life out of people and demand more and more than what they are already giving her. Case in point Cassie said for weeks all she wanted was for her son to know she was not dead-that was all she wanted period. Okay he knows she is not dead. That should have been the end of her story line for this her 3rd trip to the SOH for help. Then she had to stay in the SOH to get support becuase then she had to meet him-okay met him. Now she wants him to come ot the SOH etc. Where does it end for her? She keeps wanting and demanding more from people once they do something she says she wants. She demands things not in a nasty obvious way but she does her sad little puppy dog look and keeps pushing for more and more. She should be in the SOH to learn to not manipulate people with her sad tales of woe and by chewing her lip acting sad to get what she wants.She should learn like Antonia that there is no free ride and that she is not entitled to whatever she wants in life. In the end I believe she is still there only because it is the end of the season and there isn't time to help someone else unless they do like they did to Megg last year and zoom them in and out in 3 weeks. So they are using her as filler.I personally refer to her as being like dead air time except for when tshe met her son which was nice.

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Boots12565 195 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
05-05-06, 09:50 PM (EST)

22. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Kree-I agree with you AND I think Cassie is still in the S.O. house-Because -Someone who runs the show WANTS her there!She wouldnt be there otherwise-You never can tell whats coming up next-Curious to see how everything plays out with Cassie!!PEACE AT YA

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Incognito 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
05-05-06, 09:54 PM (EST)

23. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Cyber "bread and butter" boots!!!
Incognito

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
05-06-06, 00:42 AM (EST)

25. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Hey Kree,
I wouldn't worry too much about Cassie. I think her life has been blessed time and again by people who feel exactly the way you do. She does present as a sweet and naieve child-woman. I think she has depended on the kindness of many people and organizations throughout her adult life. I felt the way you did about Cassie, so I can understand your confusion as to what it is in her that so many people are reacting negatively to. While I wouldn't go as far as "dooming her to hell", lol, I do think that Cassie, like every other reality show participant, has invited the speculation, criticism, and judgment that surrounds her. The audience scrutiny becomes even more intense when the participant undertakes a highly sensitive endeavor like reuniting with a boy she gave up for adoption. Add a little more interest when Cassie is doing it against the wishes of the family and against the counsel of her LC and an attorney (Rhonda and the att'y both told her that she needed to put her name on a list and leave it alone). What caused me to rethink my impression of Cassie didn't have anything to do with negative Cassie posts - it was the entire Dustin issue.
I don't think Dustin is in the same situation that Cassie was in years ago. By her own admission, Cassie suffered from an inability to function responsibly and become a productive, tax-paying member of society. She was promiscuous. She had no education, and she was a daily substance abuser. I think it has been said that Dustin has had issues with drugs and alcohol - but he has also been in counseling. I never got the impression from his stepmother, Shelly, that Dustin has been anywhere near the place of drunken oblivion that Cassie lived in. He has been educated, and he has a steady girlfriend. I think Dustin does have some problems, but I think some of those problems may be due to some form of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. There is a reason that Dustin's mother wants Cassie to stay away, and as a poster upthread said, Cassie's life did not begin when she became sober. There are people who have no more to offer Cassie when it comes to believing that she is permanently sober and credible. For some people, there will be complete forgiveness and a clean slate for Cassie. For others, forgiveness is possible, but an abiding caution in dealing with her will always remain. And for the rest, there is no forgiveness being offered, and there won't be offered in the future - there's nothing left to talk about, nothing left to say. Every individual has their own viewpoint based on their personal experiences.
You mentioned respect. IMO, it is Cassie who first acted publically disrepectful when she made the adoptive mother out to be a road block and a problem. She publically disrespected the woman who has devoted the past nineteen years to physically, mentally, and emotionally providing for the child Cassie gave birth to. SO has given a voice to unprovoked attacks on this woman's character. Maybe she isn't the best mother, or maybe she's just a bad mother, but making her family life a sub-plot on a reality show just isn't fair. If a person wants to be on a reality show, well, then their life is fair game. But SO was an uninvited presence in this woman's life, and I can imagine that she feels violated. All I can think about is how I would feel if I were in the adoptive mother's position watching Cassie on television as she talked about the very sensitive issues surrounding my son's birth, adoption, and life.
I don't know how Cassie got in touch with Dustin, but I know it must have taken some work. That leads me to believe that if Cassie is motivated, she can be very productive. Why then is she still trying to figure out how to support herself as she enters middle-age? What is her reason for not being able to get an apartment by the age of 44? These are serious red flags.
Judging from Cassie's behavior, demeanor, and her words, I believe that she is determined to have a relationship with Dustin. I think her fragile emotional well-being is riding on her hope that one day in the near future, Dustin will consider Cassie his mother. The day she said, "If a mother can love more than one child, why can't a child love more than one mother", that was it for me. That's her desire. That's her goal. IMO, now that she's found him, she won't let him go without a fight.
So why is Cassie still there? I see absolutely no reason for it. She's filling a spot at a late point in the season. I would like her to leave. If this two mothers/one son issue is going to continue, I hope it at least proceeds in privacy. And please, not another make-over or graduation. It's just tacky at this point.

****************************

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AshLanie 895 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-06-06, 05:59 AM (EST)

27. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

>Hey Kree,
>
>I wouldn't worry too much about
>Cassie. I think her
>life has been blessed time
>and again by people who
>feel exactly the way you
>do. She does present
>as a sweet and naieve
>child-woman. I think she
>has depended on the kindness
>of many people and organizations
>throughout her adult life.
>I felt the way you
>did about Cassie, so I
>can understand your confusion as
>to what it is in
>her that so many people
>are reacting negatively to.
>While I wouldn't go as
>far as "dooming her to
>hell", lol, I do think
>that Cassie, like every other
>reality show participant, has invited
>the speculation, criticism, and judgment
>that surrounds her. The audience
>scrutiny becomes even more intense
>when the participant undertakes a
>highly sensitive endeavor like reuniting
>with a boy she gave
>up for adoption. Add
>a little more interest when
>Cassie is doing it against
>the wishes of the family
>and against the counsel of
>her LC and an attorney
> (Rhonda and the att'y
>both told her that she
>needed to put her name
>on a list and leave
>it alone). What caused
>me to rethink my impression
>of Cassie didn't have anything
>to do with negative Cassie
>posts - it was the
>entire Dustin issue.
>
>I don't think Dustin is in
>the same situation that Cassie
>was in years ago.
>By her own admission, Cassie
>suffered from an inability
>to function responsibly and become
>a productive, tax-paying member of
>society. She was promiscuous.
> She had no education,
>and she was a daily
>substance abuser. I think
>it has been said that
>Dustin has had issues with
>drugs and alcohol - but
>he has also been in
>counseling. I never got the
>impression from his stepmother, Shelly,
>that Dustin has been anywhere
>near the place of drunken
>oblivion that Cassie lived in.
> He has been educated,
>and he has a steady
>girlfriend. I think Dustin
>does have some problems, but
>I think some of those
>problems may be due to
>some form of Fetal Alcohol
>Syndrome. There is a
>reason that Dustin's mother wants
>Cassie to stay away, and
>as a poster upthread said,
>Cassie's life did not begin
>when she became sober.
>There are people who have
>no more to offer Cassie
>when it comes to believing
>that she is permanently sober
>and credible. For some
>people, there will be complete
>forgiveness and a clean slate
>for Cassie. For others,
>forgiveness is possible, but an
>abiding caution in dealing with
>her will always remain.
>And for the rest, there
>is no forgiveness being offered,
>and there won't be offered
>in the future - there's
>nothing left to talk about,
>nothing left to say.
>Every individual has their own
>viewpoint based on their personal
>experiences.
>
>You mentioned respect. IMO, it
>is Cassie who first acted
>publically disrepectful when she made
>the adoptive mother out to
>be a road block and
>a problem. She publically disrespected
>the woman who has devoted
>the past nineteen years to
>physically, mentally, and emotionally providing
>for the child Cassie gave
>birth to. SO has
>given a voice to unprovoked
>attacks on this woman's character.
> Maybe she isn't the
>best mother, or maybe she's
>just a bad mother, but
>making her family life a
>sub-plot on a reality show
>just isn't fair. If
>a person wants to be
>on a reality show, well,
>then their life is fair
>game. But SO was
>an uninvited presence in this
>woman's life, and I can
>imagine that she feels violated.
> All I can think
>about is how I would
>feel if I were in
>the adoptive mother's position watching
>Cassie on television as she
>talked about the very sensitive
>issues surrounding my son's birth,
>adoption, and life.
>
>I don't know how Cassie got
>in touch with Dustin, but
>I know it must have
>taken some work. That
>leads me to believe that
>if Cassie is motivated, she
>can be very productive.
>Why then is she still
>trying to figure out how
>to support herself as she
>enters middle-age? What is
>her reason for not being
>able to get an apartment
>by the age of 44?
> These are serious red
>flags.
>
>Judging from Cassie's behavior, demeanor, and
>her words, I believe that
>she is determined to have
>a relationship with Dustin.
>I think her fragile emotional
>well-being is riding on her
>hope that one day in
>the near future, Dustin will
>consider Cassie his mother.
>The day she said, "If
>a mother can love more
>than one child, why can't
>a child love more than
>one mother", that was it
>for me. That's her
>desire. That's her goal.
> IMO, now that she's
>found him, she won't let
>him go without a fight.
>
>
>So why is Cassie still there?
> I see absolutely no
>reason for it. She's
>filling a spot at a
>late point in the season.
> I would like her
>to leave. If this
>two mothers/one son issue is
>going to continue, I hope
>it at least proceeds in
>privacy. And please, not
>another make-over or graduation.
>It's just tacky at this
>point.
>
>
>****************************
Wow, right on target.....!

And for once I have nothing to add....

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Mrs B 27 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
05-06-06, 10:00 AM (EST)

30. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Word. The red flags are her lack of a steady job and inability to find housing.
I knew a couple Cassies at churches I attended. Nice women but just wanting to have someone else think for them (find them a job, place to live, subsidize them). They did church hop (when the elders/leadership stopped funding them) and were also inadvertent leeches.
Interesting that most people with severe physical and mental disabilities can find and retain their own apartment even in So Cal. Trust me, I know it is expensive as hell to live there: I had my own place and there were a few scary (credit cards saved my a&&) months when emergencies happened but I paid rent, utilities and student loans/credit cards (almost always) on time. For my peers and friends, if it got too expensive to be on their own, they got roommates (people of all ages that is). But I did not expect some TV show or fairy godmother to buy me stuff and give me a home (hello Lisa1 and Cassie). I left SoCal when I got married: too expensive to buy a house.

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UWSider 43 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
05-07-06, 10:45 AM (EST)

43. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

> To no one in particular...
>I know i'm always defending
>Cassie, and I know it's
>hard for people to understand-
>which is hard for me
>to understand. But if
>you look at it, we
>doom her to hell and
>all that, but give Dustin,
>who is in the same
>situation she was in years
>ago, full credit as a
>human being. Cassie is
>a human too. She
>was adopted, abused, got hooked
>on substance, etc. And
>now is building her lide
>back, and is doing so
>with great strides and kindness
>to others. Where is
>the compassion for her as
>a human? When did
>she lose the right to
>be respected? Can she
>ever gain it back?
>When does she ever do
>anything good enough to cure
>her past? I just
>have to wonder and am
>frustrated at the wall that
>is around her for love
>from others.

Bravo! Well said. Cassie could be a very valuable role model for Dustin--they have a lot in common.

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annie828 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
05-05-06, 05:45 PM (EST)

10. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

>Food, too, from the looks of her expanding butt.
I thought her butt looked bigger than the last time she was there.
Mybe instead of lounging around and doing a puzzle, she should get off her big fat butt and hit the treadmill! Geeeeeeesh!

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UWSider 43 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
05-07-06, 10:31 AM (EST)

40. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

LAST EDITED ON 05-07-06 AT 10:49 AM (EST)
Yes, SO does have a way of filling in the gaps toward the end of the season. (Like keeping that chick on as a "mentor" or whatever last year.)
Also, I think SO thought they'd be able to reunite Cassie with her son when she was originally in the house. That and getting her GED were her original goals in the house. I don't think SO anticipated a cease and desist letter from a lawyer. It left the viewers (and Cassie) hanging with unfinished business. AND, let's face it, of course they wanna bring Cassie back when she finally meets her son. It's great for ratings!
I wondered why Cassie was hanging around even after she met her son, but then I realize that it would probably be irresponsible to send Cassie out on that note thinking it was some big happy ending. Reality is going to set in eventually and I think they're just trying to prepare Cassie for that.

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sillybear 84 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-05-06, 06:57 PM (EST)

12. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

I was watching the other day when Cassie was doing her goodmorning song and wondering why she was still there?I thought she was there to make some connection to her son.That has happened.He knows about her and I think she should move on.I really do not see that Cassie has it as together as they want us to believe.Not from what I have seen.It has been a couple of days so someone should do some explaining what is going on.I think she is filling in space right now.The season will be soon coming to an end and wrapping up I do not think we will see any new HGs.Remember they kept Layne there last year as a mentor.I call it a space filler.

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lia rose 14 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
05-05-06, 07:02 PM (EST)

13. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Oh my dear Lord--I cannot stand that woman. The whole buildup to her son's meeting and then the anticipation of whether he was going to visit the SO house and then....nothing. Great. Go away. Please. Take your 80s hair, your awful voice and your good morning dance and get ON with your LIFE!!!!

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shermie 89 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-05-06, 07:45 PM (EST)

16. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Okay, Cassie. You have done what it was you came to do.
NOW GO!!
I am soooo over Cassie and her addictions, son, GED, alleged business. Time for the producers to tear that leech away and cast her back from whence she came.
And... I admit, I have a pretty high tolerence level for SO and some of their raggle-baggle, but if I have to sit through ONE MORE Cassie Graduation-type show, I will puke.

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eire_heart74 1231 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
05-05-06, 08:22 PM (EST)

17. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

, but if I have
>to sit through ONE MORE
>Cassie Graduation-type show, I will
>puke.
Amen to that! I really feel her last show should of been the day she met her son. Ok you did it now don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!!
If they showed her doing something, maybe it would be interesting but they don't> Boring!!!

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annie828 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
05-05-06, 10:47 PM (EST)

24. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

LAST EDITED ON 05-05-06 AT 10:48 PM (EST)
>If they showed her doing something, maybe it would be interesting but they don't> Boring!!!
Oh, but they did show her doing something today.....she was sitting on her fat A$$ scarfing down bacon!
Get her lazy A$$ out of there....now she is just plain getting a free ride, free food, friends, nice house....who knows, maybe she gets another graduation gift.
As long as she is there, why can't they send her out on job interviews to get that free riding lazy a$$ a job... she is way too old to be smooching off of others.
I just don't like her... she has gotton on my very last nerve.
GET OUT!.. GET OUT!.. GET OUT! !!!!!

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-06-06, 09:43 AM (EST)

29. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

See, I think that's the heart of the issue. If someone doesn't like Cassie because she's just not their type of person, I understand that. Not everyone will be to a person's liking. But it's when we say she's this or that and never acknowledge the great strides she's made or good things she does- that's what I don't understand. How can we not see how ind she was when she met her son? Especially after everyone said she would just blabber and wail the whole time. I guess I'd like to credit given where it's due.
We all said: she won't get her GED (she did) her son won't like her or want to meet her (he did like her and loved meeting her) she'll force him to come to the house (she told him it was okay and understood his decision). Ummmmm I could go on.

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tvfun 80 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-06-06, 10:48 AM (EST)

31. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

I too have a dislike for Cassie for many reasons. Yes, I'm glad she got to meet her son, but she has done that. Now she needs to move on.
She came in the SOH the first time to get her GED and meet her son.
You get your GED so you can get a "somewhat" decent job. They had discussed her job options at the end of her SO stay. I thought she said she wanted to study to be a dental hygienist...or something like that.
Well, Cassie got her GED (so she says) Why the H$ll hasn't she done anything about a career? What the Heck is she waiting for? She is in her mid 40's...she isn't getting any younger. Her leaving the SO the first time has given her plenty of time to get a decent job, or go to school to study something!
I'm sorry, I have no sympathy for Cassie any longer...she spends too much time thinking about her son and what could be. If she spent the amount of time and energy since she left the SO house the 1st time "planning new strategies to meet her son" She would have a job and her own place and a sense of accomplishment.
A job/career isn't going to come knocking on her door. She should have been thinking about HER future and not her sons.
I know that she is just a filler now...but SO should get tough and utilize her time in the house....because all most of us see is just pure LAZINESS.
What the H*ll is she going to do when her free ride ends???

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-06-06, 11:12 AM (EST)

33. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

But why do we assume she didn't get the GED? Or that SO isn't promting her to stay at the house for some extra footage. I too feel like it was wonderful that she met her son and now really it's none of our business and we shouldn't get to see any more of the action.
I don't think she's lazy at all. She's been very very adamant about everything she set up with as a goal. Yes, she cried a lot during the process- but she was never mean to anyone. And I'll bet that if anyone asked her to do anything she would. In fact, I'll bet that if she had the money and high paying job, she wouldn't deprive her son or any other person some of the wealth. I'm not trying to put her in lala dream Cassie is an angel land, but I just feel like that is the truth.
Has she been asking anyone at the houe for handouts? NO. Has she been asking them for a free place to stay? NO. They all like her there- and she always supports them. I really do think SO is keeping her there for an extra amount of footage.

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
05-06-06, 12:25 PM (EST)

34. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

It's all good, kree. Diverse opinions make the world go round.
I'm glad that Cassie has people like you in her corner. They are there because they want to be there, and they can handle the set-backs and failures that are part and parcel of Cassie's life. I don't think she'd be where she is without the kindness and longsuffering of other people who had faith in her when she had lost faith in herself.
But it's obvious that not everyone is cut from that cloth. For some people, the inconsistencies in Cassie's claims are glaring. None of us know her personally; all we have to assess her character is what she says and does on television.
Cassie said she's sober. Anyone who has struggled through the hell of addiction knows that's an achievement. But her claim that she has been sober for thirteen years is troubling. If I recall correctly, that proud announcement was met with applause from the HG's. But how does Cassie account for other statements she's made in the past that directly contradict that assertion? She doesn't address it, and people take an offense at that. They feel like they been lied to or conned. She's been untruthful - somewhere. A lot of addicts are routinely untruthful, that's why it is so important that Cassie be completely honest. If it's been three years of sobriety, then say it's been three years. If it's been four months, then say it's been four months. But don't make it something that it isn't, for any reason. That's probably why people jumped on her when she was seen smoking. She said she quit - on the same day she said she was celebrating thirteen years of sobriety - and it was an announcement. She knew that people would applaud that achievement. She even presented a photograph in which she's shown holding up a bucket of cigarette butts. Last week, a post-Dustin episode is shown, and she's seen smoking on the porch while everyone else is out of the house. If she hadn't made the huge announcement, more people would have simply called it a set-back -- something that she did to ease her anxiety after the Dustin episode. But at the end of the day, as much as we may like Cassie, the fact that she isn't extremely careful in what she says is troubling. People wonder about her standards of honesty.
We saw her fail the math portion of the GED twice, despite the tutoring and preparation that SO gave her. She now says that she passed the GED on her own. Kudos to her if she did, it should help her in her job search. But given her past and her very recent declarations regarding her achievements, I don't think it's unreasonable for people to question the truth of that assertion as well. And as far as Dustin is concerned...well, that is a touchy issue. There are plenty of folks who don't believe her reconnection with him was a good thing in the first place.
Lots of HG's stretch the truth, but not many of them have lived the type of life Cassie has, and even fewer of them have tried to negotiate such an incredibly delicate situation with so many accompanying legal and ethical concerns. Cassie represents an issue, and there are valid points on both sides of that issue.
Cassie will go on. My hope is that she can one day say in complete truth that she has been sober for thirteen years, that she does have steady employment, that she has come to a place of resolution with Dustin and peace with his mother, that's she's giving back to society in the same way that society has given to her, and that she no longer needs the help of so many to do what most people do on their own. And if she wants to spend her hard earned money on cigarettes now and then, well, it's a free country.

*******************************************

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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
05-06-06, 11:07 AM (EST)

32. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

I totally agree. I'm very tired of ALL former houseguests. Why are we recycling??? Why not give NEW people the opportunity to get help? Especially Sommer!! She was kicked OUT for pete's sake! It's not right to bring her back. If they want to bring back oldies, why not have a house full of them? They people could decide whether they want to see the previous guests (not me). Back to Cassie - yes, she may have made the best decision for her son at the time, but she has been nothing but a bully (with the help of SOH) about seeing her son. She was sent a legal document telling her to stay away, and she STILL contacted the boy. And SOH congratulates her.... what's wrong with this picture?

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-06-06, 01:21 PM (EST)

35. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

The issue with Cassie has always been honesty not bashing her for who she is but that nobody really knows who she is because she constantly tells new stories. Is it because she doesn't know the truth or because she wishes to manipulate we don't know. We do know she has used lots of people to live and leach off of. That doesn't speak well of her character.
If Cassie honestly stated she had been sobor for 4 months as someone stated uppost I could respect that. 4 months is 4 months. However, when people constantly lie then it is disrespectful to people who really have made the multi-year sacrifices to be sobor for 13 plus years that Cassie claims. It's not the struggle people critize its the lie.
Cassie lacks employment. Lots of people do however, again it's not the lack of employment but the fact it doesn't seem to phase her that everyone else is supposed to pick up the tab for Cassie be it the state of California, some kind soul, etc. Cassie being unemployed isn't the issue Cassie not caring is.

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-06-06, 01:38 PM (EST)

36. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Well, I respect eveyone's opinion. I just read this and it's my last omage to Cassie and the way I like to treat all women:
Below is a wonderful poem Audrey Hepburn
wrote when asked to share her "beauty tips." It was read at her funeral years later.
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed,
and redeemed; never throw out anyone.

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UWSider 43 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
05-07-06, 10:21 AM (EST)

39. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

LAST EDITED ON 05-07-06 AT 03:21 PM (EST)

> Who knows what lies
>and half-truths Cassie has been
>spreading. Why is Cassie still
>in the SO house?

WHAT? It's the adoptive mother who's been lying. First, she lied about an open adoption to Cassie. Then never even told the kid he was adopted until Cassie was trying to find him. THEN, she told him his biological mother is dead. The one who's done the damage to that kid is his adoptive mother. Imagine finding out as a teenager that the only mother you've ever known and trusted has been lying to you your entire life? If the kid has problems, it's not because of Cassie.
>
>My guess is that the mother
>had a very good reason
>for eliminating Cassie from his
>life.
There is never a good reason to lie to a child. The truth inevitably comes out and when it does it can be devastating to the child. This is extremely irresponsible and shortsighted on the part of the parent.
First, Cassie doesn't
>understand that when you sign
>away parental rights you are
>actually giving another person those
>rights.
Not true. Cassie believed she was entering into an open adoption. The adoptive mother lied about that and betrayed Cassie.

>Second, Cassie
>hasn't exactly been a model
>of good behavior. What
>parent would intentionally bring an
>addict into their child's life. >
Clearly Dustin's parents chose that when they adopted from someone they knew was an addict. It is unrealistic in this age of information to expect that Dustin or his mother might not eventually try to find each other. (Unless you lie to the kid and never tell him he's adopted) If the adoptive mother is not someone you'd like your child to meet, then don't adopt from her. And certainly, don't agree to an open adoption.
> Additionally, this boy had
>to deal with a divorce
>and also has had addiction
>problems himself. Gee, what
>a great time to have
>him interact with his birth
>mom who's a complete mess
>and doesn't have a place
>to live most of the
>time. >
On the contrary! Cassie has been in recovery for 13 years and sought additional help at the SO house. She could act as a very good role model for someone with addiction problems. Just like an AA sponsor does.
>I think Cassie
>breached any agreement they had
>by not getting her life
>in order and the mother
>decided it wasn't healthy.
I doubt that was a stipulation in the adoption agreement, and even if it was, the adoptive mother chose to breech the open adoption contract.

>Cassie is like a lot of
>former addicts, she wants to
>erase her years of addiction
>and only focus on the
>date of her sobriety to
>the present. >

So someone should be punished their entire life for mistakes they made years ago? I cheated on a spelling test in 4th grade--should I be labled my entire life as a cheater?
I find your judgements pretty harsh. Cassie may have had problems in her life, but the adoptive parents are far from innocent in this case.

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-07-06, 10:43 AM (EST)

42. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Well said!! I wish I could have put the facts out that way.

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UWSider 43 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
05-07-06, 10:54 AM (EST)

44. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Kree--I LOVE that Audrey Hepburn poem--I'm emailing it to everyone i know!

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
05-07-06, 11:51 AM (EST)

45. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

If Cassie's story could be accepted at face value, then the entire landscape would change. These are serious charges that Cassie is bringing against the very people she hand-picked for the job of raising her son. Even if Cassie had presented herself as a woman of sterling character, which she hasn't, we have all lived long enough to know that it isn't prudent to believe one side's interpretation without hearing the other.
I sometimes wonder how this whole scenario would have played out if the adoptive mother showed up on SO as a HG with a story and a goal instead of Cassie. With the backing of LC's, Dr. Stan, careful editing, and the other resources available to them, her story might sound something like this: "In 1986, we met a young woman who was in the last trimester of a crisis pregnancy. We had no children of our own, and she agreed that our home would be a wonderful place for her baby to be raised. She was an alcoholic, a drug user, and she was homeless. She had been with so many men that we don't even know who the father might be, because she says she has often blacked out and doesn't remember every person she has slept with. We agreed to house her until her baby was born and then adopt her son. We initially agreed to an open adoption, but not long after he was born, the bio mom went back to her old ways - drinking, drugging, and sleeping around. She left, and we only heard from her on birthdays, and she was usually drunk. She would recover, then fail, recover, and fail. Finally, we had to stop all contact with her. It was in the best interest of our son and our family. Now she has gone on a TV show to garner help and support in finding and meeting our son. She has no family of her own, no apartment or home, no job, no education. She is being untruthful, claiming she has been sober for 13 years. She contacted us five years ago in a stupor. She is relentless. Our son has learning disabilities and addiction problems. This could be due to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. There couldn't be a worse time for the confusion she would bring to his life. My marriage broke up when my husband began having an affair with Shelley, who is supporting the bio mom on television. What do I do?"
The next year, she returns. "The bio mom tracked down my son's girlfriend. His girlfriend convinced her to call the bio mom. They spoke for 45 minutes. They had a televised reunion show without my knowledge. It showed all across the country. He is a adult now, so I have no legal recourse. How do I handle what's coming down the pike. I hate this woman with every fiber of my being."
And that scenario is using only the info that Cassie has provided. I'm sure there is a lot more the woman could say. After hearing that description of Cassie, would any of us picture the perky, bubbly blonde who is so concerned about her appearance? Our expectations might be a lot lower. That's what one sided stories leave us with - a distorted image.
The adoptive mother is well within her rights to decline to argue this one on the stage of Starting Over. Shelley, the step-mom, is biased, so her opinion carries some weight, but it isn't compelling. And Dustin, well, he hasn't said much. He did say, I thought you were dead", but really, how do we know that he isn't lying because he has had a change of heart about signing the affidavit. We don't know. We can guess, surmise, assume, and deduct. We just don't know. There is a reason these cases go before judges. They are complicated legal issues, and in a lot of these cases, credibility of the witness is paramount.
The bottom line is that Cassie has been caught in a few embellishments. They are recent, not lifted from her childhood. Without having either adoptive parent on hand to answer any of Cassie's charges, we have nothing more than the word of a woman who has given the audience reason to question her credibility.
It's all moot anyway. Justin is an adult. It's all up to him now. If Cassie is to have a chance with him, she'll stop talking about how his mother did her in. In the end, when the wonderment wears off and he has to chose sides, he'll most likely go with his mother.
So, I'm done. The chips are going to fall where they may.

*******************************************

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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
05-07-06, 12:12 PM (EST)

46. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Very well put....that's pretty much how I have looked at it from the beginning (I take the side of the adoptive mother). LEt's not forget that Cassie was given a certified legal letter not to contact the boy - did she call him herself after he was 18 or before? I don't know. Anyway, the only problem I really have with the adoptive mother is that she told him his real mother was dead. That's inexcusable in my book. I'm with her on every other position she's taken. If the boy is having difficulty with addiction, I wouldn'want him around his addict mother either. Nevertheless, bold face lying will never be the answer. Look what it's done for her now.

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-07-06, 12:26 PM (EST)

47. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Cassie didn't drink while pregnant. And his name is Dustin, not Justin. I just wanted to show how easy it is for all of us to get facts messed up.

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tvfun 80 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-07-06, 12:49 PM (EST)

49. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Cassie did start up her drinking and drugs again after she gave birth. That is the life Cassie chose over her baby. Cassie sentenced herself to the life she has by her own choices. Nobody forced her to go back to that dark side of life...she chose it for herself.
Cassie has told so many lies that, who knows if she isn't telling the truth about drinking/drugs while pregnant. Being that she never planned the pregnancy, who knows how long she had been drinking and doing drugs until she found out she was pregnant.
Until Cassie wakes up and smells the coffee, she will be
forever be stuck in her past. She needs to move on and build a future for herself so she can actually say she is living life to the fullest, and have some self worth and dignity...a job! JMO

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-07-06, 01:47 PM (EST)

51. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Many women are drinking and smoking before they find out they are pregnant- it's very common- and they have healthy babies. It's the choices you make when you find out you are pregnant that make the difference. Many books have this question from worried mothers that drank until finding out, and the answer is always, relax- your baby is going to be okay. Some doctors even allow moms to have a small glass of wine once in awhile. I personally am not doing that with my pregnancy. No drinks- nothing. But I did have beer before finding out.

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annie828 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
05-07-06, 02:53 PM (EST)

52. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Cassie didn't just drink and smoke....she was a drug addict, big difference.

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-07-06, 05:22 PM (EST)

57. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

LAST EDITED ON 05-07-06 AT 05:22 PM (EST)
And she quit those too- some things some mothers never do. That's really sad.

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jonimoni 136 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
05-07-06, 08:46 PM (EST)

60. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Cassie did drink and do drugs while she was pregnant. Cassie herself said she was clean only while she lived with the adoptive parents, they helped her stay clean. She also said before that she lived with the adoptive parents for 7 months, now she said it was only 2. If we choose to believe her, what do we believe? The story has changed so many times, in so many ways we can't even know what the truth is. The adoptive mom has her truth and it involves taking care of Dustin for almost 20 years while Cassie slept with her 400 men, did drugs, alcohol and checked herself into hospitals to get more drugs. These are also from her own lips....what do we believe? I am only positive for Dustin, his real mother, the one who raised him, has had him in counseling for his problems. She should never have told Dustin that Cassie was dead, but how many different stories do you think Cassie told the adoptive mom over the last 20 years? Many more than she has told us in 20 weeks....

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-07-06, 02:56 PM (EST)

53. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

You have highlighted the adoptive Mom's side very well. She was an honorable person and chose not to become a reality whore and spill her guts for television so many people choose to believe everything they've heard on SO that she suppodedly said or did is fact as if it has indeed been proven in court. The witnesses all have crediblity and some serious questionable memory problems do to drug and achol problems.
It is easy to have sympathy for Cassie because she looks sweet and acts gentley. If she was harsh and looked like a drugged out street hag prostitute we might judge her more harshly, who knows. She gets a great deal of support from SO viewers and I'm sure that's helpful for her.
However, supporting someone and believing everything they say as truth are not the same thing.
We don't know factually what and why the adoptive parents told Dustin about Cassie and under what circumstances it was done.
To the best of my knowledge we've never seen a copy of the adoption contract that Cassie signed. She was probably too stoned to get a copy of it for herself but I've never seen anything that she produced that guarenteed an open adoption with visitation rights. With the legal staff at SO one would think if the option was there they would hav pursued it legally. If Cassie signed something different than what she thought she signed that is unfortunate but sadly a result of being too stoned and or drunk and lacking the judgement and resources to have her own lawyer read the contract to insure that she was indeed getting the contract she thought she was signing. Did the adoptive couple agree to an open adoption? We don't seem to have any conclusive evidence other than Cassie's drug day recollactions.
That being said it does sound as if at some point Cassie did have contact with the adoptive families as she was able to see him up to age 3. If contact was a priority for Cassie why call him drunk on his 15 birthday? Did she think that was somehow going to impress his adoptive family to let her back into the family?
While quite a bit of dirt has been thrown at the adoptive mother and stuck very little has been put on Cassie's shoulders in terms of responsibility as to why the relationship broke down between her and Dustin's family and why she was forced to go the route of using SO and not being able just to continue visiting him. Cassie needs to acknowledge her role in screwing up that relationship with the adoptive families because she coulnd't get her life in gear.

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UWSider 43 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
05-07-06, 03:06 PM (EST)

54. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Fair enough, we haven't heard the adoptive mother's side of things, but what can we glean from what we do know:
Dustin is so afraid of his adoptive mother he didn't tell her he was meeting Cassie and requested to have his identity concealed on the show.
She slapped SO with a cease and desist letter in order to conceal the truth from coming out.
She lied to her son and told him his biological mother was dead. Dustin himself admitted this on the phone to Cassie.
Her husband ended up having an affair and ultimately her marriage ended in divorce.
Do you think that's the kind of home or woman Cassie had hoped her son would end up with?
Also--what possible motive does Cassie have for lying about her sobriety or anything else? It's not like she's trying to gain custody or money or anything. It's perfectly understandable that a woman in Cassie's situation would want to find her biological son. To me it's perfectly clear that the adoptive mom feels so threatened by Cassie's attention to her son because she's done a lousy job as a mother. She lied ot him his whole life and raised a child who is scared to death of her.

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annie828 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
05-07-06, 03:21 PM (EST)

55. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

LAST EDITED ON 05-07-06 AT 03:36 PM (EST)
>Dustin is so afraid of his adoptive mother he didn't tell her
>he was meeting Cassie and requested to have his identity concealed on the >show.
This is all "hearsay" we have not seen any actual proof of that.
>She lied ot him his whole life and raised a child who is scared to death of her.
This is also "hearsay" we have no solid proof/facts of this.
>Her husband ended up having an affair and ultimately her marriage ended in >divorce.
This happens to many people...doesn't make tham bad people.
>Do you think that's the kind of home or woman Cassie had hoped her son >would end up with?
And a drugged out drunken homeless whore is a better choice? JMO

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-07-06, 03:23 PM (EST)

56. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

LAST EDITED ON 05-07-06 AT 03:25 PM (EST)
Actually Dustin never said he was afraid of his mother. He knows she's going to know he was on TV there's no way to hide that from her. So perhaps he has other reasons such as keeping it from everyone she knows that he went on TV behind her back. If Dustin was afraid he's over 18 he has an adoptive father he doesn't need to live or have contact with his adoptive mother. Once again we read into what Cassie and SO tell us that Dustin is afraid yet we really had no proof he was afraid just that he didn't want his identity broadcast on National TV especially since his Dad's ex has been telling everyone he has a drug problem too. That might not go over well with future employers to have his face exposed on TV as Cassie's son the drug addict. Just another way of looking at the facts.
She asked SO to leave Dustin alone. The assumption SO wanted the fans to make was it was about preventing precious Cassie from finding her son. However, we have never really heard why the adoptive mother did it we have lots of SO assumptions but no proof. It may very well have to do with things going on in Dustin's life that SO and Cassie are completley unable to be senstitive too. They may not be able to understand that thrusting cameras and people into his life with the burden of Cassie's issues might not be in the boy's best interest. Now occording to the adoptive Mom's paperwork she submitted the boy's therapist submitted paperwork stating it wasn't in Dustin's best interests to meet with Cassie at that time. Obviously Cassie and the SO staff new better than the staff provided by the adoptive Mom. So I discount the argument because we don't know why the adoptive mother filed that paperwork. My sense is she did have legitimate concerns that SO would hurt her son.
Cassie had lied on numerous occasions about how long she has been sobor. Recover programs count sobriety as the date you last took your drink/drug not the total number of days you been sobor all together in your life. Cassie has stated she's been sobor 14-15 years and yet she admits to calling Dusting drunk on his 15 birthday. So unless Dustin is really 30 not 19 Cassie can't add. So yes she has lied. I'm not sure she's actually sobor now to say the truth. Cassie has lied to get sympathy, free room and board, and help to meet her son. If people are stupid enough to give her free stuff because they think she deserves it well live and learn. However, Cassie does make it harder for the next person who comes along after her who legitimatley is making a recovery and does need help because the people she's burned don't necessarily feel like getting burned again. She's taught people that helping people means you get used and abused.
As for the fact the father had an affair while married to her that speaks to his character not to hers which only discredits the step-Mom's testimony because she was the one he cheated with.

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JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
05-07-06, 05:47 PM (EST)

58. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Cassie did lie or exaggerate it greatly (if we want to make it sound noble and like a mistake when she spoke <rolling eyes>) about her sobriety and IMO she does it to make herslef look good and like she accomplished something which in reality she hasn't. She does make a mockery of those of us who truly do overcome things and are honest about it all. I also wonder why she said during the voice over when meeting her son that it was the first time she has seen him since he was 3 and then she said later she was so excited to be hugging him for the first time in his life. She also has said int he past that she hadn't seen him in 19 years. Okay I am not a math whiz but I did pass elementary math and know 19 minus 3 is not 19! Like I have said elsewhere was she stalking him when he was 3 and she saw him from afar or what? Cassie also lies about other things which posters have pointed out in various threads here. I fele the LC's need to point out her consistencies and give her a reality check and call her on her storytelling.

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-07-06, 07:37 PM (EST)

59. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Exactly which is why as viewers we don't know any truths and only can guess at the "facts" based on the SO version and what our willness to give the adoptive mother the benefit of the doubt is. We really know nothing more than when we started as to the actual truth of what happened around Cassie's agreeing to the adoption, Cassie's role in Dustin's early life, her behavior that caused the parents to cut off all contact, and what actions the parents took to keep Cassie out of his life.

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SHANESGIRL 4 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
05-07-06, 12:33 PM (EST)

48. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

what is up with all the headbobbing with her she makes me dizzy...my husband came in one day while i was watching and said what is wrong with her?

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tvfun 80 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
05-07-06, 12:53 PM (EST)

50. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

>what is up with all the
>headbobbing with her she makes
>me dizzy...my husband came in
>one day while i was
>watching and said what is
>wrong with her?
maybe she has no brain cells left from all the drugs she did. LOL!

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jonimoni 136 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
05-07-06, 08:50 PM (EST)

61. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

It is her goo-goo ga-ga baby talk voice that makes me ill. We have heard the real Cassie voice, it was when Andy did the first make over....the screaming mimi...... get her the dish soap, get it now!!!

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Redbud 573 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
05-08-06, 07:22 PM (EST)

74. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

>It is her goo-goo ga-ga baby
>talk voice that makes me
>ill. We have heard
>the real Cassie voice, it
>was when Andy did the
>first make over....the screaming mimi......
>get her the dish soap,
>get it now!!!

Noooooo...it's the Good Morning dance!!!! Can' stand to see a grown woman do that stupid song and dance!

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00fun 12 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
05-08-06, 10:32 AM (EST)

62. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

LAST EDITED ON 05-08-06 AT 10:34 AM (EST)
I am soooooo sick of Cassie i want to gag! Cassie needs to get out of the SO, she is getting way to comfortable with all the free amenities...this is not a vacation home Cassie.
You came, you seen (your son)...now get out and get a job and a LIFE!
ps: and tighten up that lose screw in your head..so tired of the bobbing around...making me dizzy!

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-08-06, 10:51 AM (EST)

63. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

What is the point of her still being there? SO is waiting until they can disappear and Cassie can't find them, forward her bills?

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mikaela643 17 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
05-08-06, 11:05 AM (EST)

64. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

I agree with the poster that said Cassie's just filling space at this point.
I think they're keeping her around for the dramatics... She'll be the last woman to leave the house, hand on the door knob, looking back, slowly closing the door and walking up the path (insert dramatic music.)

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
05-08-06, 11:30 AM (EST)

65. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

That scenario, mikaela643, is very plausible. You may be on to something there.

*******************************************

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-08-06, 11:37 AM (EST)

66. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

That will be the scene they have her pretape as a pretty filler scene. The actual one will have the staff prying her fingers off the door jams screaming at Rhonda to let her stay she can't go. Cassie will be devastated to have her "soft falling place" disappear forever into the TV archives. What will she do if she can't make her guest appearances, hole up for a few rent free weeks, get some new clothes, free food, etc. No it will definitly be prying her lifeless hands from the door as they slam the door in her tear filled face screaming to be let back in.

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annie828 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
05-08-06, 11:50 AM (EST)

68. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Wasn't that part already taken...I don't think Allysham would like it very much if Cassie copied her character.

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-08-06, 03:06 PM (EST)

70. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

I have to say with her saftey glasses on today curled up into the couch and looking out of it completely I do again have to question how sobor she really is.

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JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
05-08-06, 06:22 PM (EST)

72. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

I bet Cassie and Allisham are both still hiding in the little backyard playhouse at the SOH even though filming is done. They just can't move on with their lives. I bet the only reason we haven't seen Allsham back for graduation is because her fat a$$ is stuck in the door of the playhouse and she can't get out. It's also probably why the SOH has to be enclosed by a gated fence-to try to keep the riff raff out like Cassie LOL.

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annie828 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"
05-08-06, 07:11 PM (EST)

73. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

I bet the only reason we
>haven't seen Allsham back for
>graduation is because her fat
>a$$ is stuck in the
>door of the playhouse and
>she can't get out. It's
>also probably why the SOH
>has to be enclosed by
>a gated fence-to try to
>keep the riff raff out
>like Cassie LOL.
That's FUNNY! hahaha!

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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
05-08-06, 11:43 AM (EST)

67. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

I think SO is just keeping Cassie as filler.
Cassie doesn't appear to be aware of this though---going back a few episodes, when they had the last BOR, we saw Cassie telling the other HG's how she wasn't afraid to go up for BOR, how she did everything she was supposed to do, etc. I thought, "Does she really think she could be called up, as though she's a "real" HG, eligible for ejection or graduation? BTW, is she expecting another graduation? (Maybe she thinks, "Well, Allison had two graduations...")

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
05-08-06, 11:52 AM (EST)

69. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

With Cassie anything is possible. That's why I've always been confused as to what she believes is real and what she tells as lies.

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kristin830 23 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
05-08-06, 05:34 PM (EST)

71. "RE: Why is Cassie still in the house? "

Please, Please, Please...Just let her go. Why is she still there???? What else are they going to do for her now? Too many parties and too much air time! This story has ended. I can't take it anymore!!!
Did cassie really think she was going to get called up for BOR? She has all ready graduated. I bet if they called her up there would be a unanimous vote to let her go by the house guests.

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